River Cartwright Whump Fics
Last month I participated in the @whumperless-whump-event and quite accidentally wrote 31 pieces of whumpy fanfiction all about River Cartwright:
(Links to AO3- see AO3 tags for warnings etc)
River, after suffering an injury, comes down with a cold.
River wrestles with how it feels to be a dead man, the fact that he nearly was, and the implications it will have for those he cares for.
Set at the end of 4.01 where River escapes to France in search of answers.
3. It’s not you, it’s me
In a smoke-filled basement wired to explode, River Cartwright makes a brutal call: lock Louisa out, stay behind, and face death alone.
A follow from “It’s not you, it’s me”.
“The world fractured, turned in on itself—like watching a kaleidoscope twist, again and again, until everything was colours and noise and nothing made sense”
Stranded in a broken-down car on a fog-choked night, Louisa watches River sleep beside her, realising that beneath his quiet exhaustion lies a man who doesn’t know how to stop carrying the weight alone.
Spoilers for Slough House Books 8 and 8.5; Bad Actors and Standing by the Wall.
"River felt fine. Or at least that's what he kept telling himself as he dragged himself up the worn stairs of Slough House. Each step sent a sharp reminder of Duffy's fists into his ribs, and his sprained ankle throbbed with an insistent rhythm. The aftershock of the grenade blast still echoed faintly, distorting the edges of his vision like interference on a bad signal. But River Cartwright was fine."
Set after the events of season three. River is not all that fine.
"The door closed with a dull thunk, barely audible over the soft hiss of the kettle. David didn’t look up from the crossword. He didn’t need to. The quality of the silence changed when River entered the house, like a dog sensing a shift in the wind. Tension came in with him, dragging its boots through the hallway and collapsing across the floorboards."
River's had a bad day and David is required to fulfill his grandfatherly duties once more.
9. Under the Weather, Under Surveillance
A simple stakeout turns miserable—and unexpectedly entertaining—when Shirley Dander finds herself trapped in a car with a snoring, flu-ridden River Cartwright.
River finds himself trapped in a stairwell and haunted by gunfire.
11. Not Until We’re Safe
"Nothing ever changed in Slough House. You ran ops without support, without glory, and without rest. You got blamed when things went wrong and ignored when they didn’t. You lived in the spaces between other people’s stories—quiet, gray, forgettable. That was the job."
River and Louisa are part of an op that goes sideways and River won't rest until they're safe.
"Louisa leaned forward. “You’re not okay.”
“I will be.”
“You’re white as a sheet.”
“Compliment?”"
Evacuation of an asset goes awry leaving River a little worse for wear.
13. A Good Old Fashioned Beatdown
“A door creaked open upstairs. Lamb’s voice drifted down, thick with mockery. “That better not be a corpse. I’m not doing the bloody paperwork!”“
River and Marcus decide to turn the basement into a training ring.
Post Season 3, River finds out Catherine has gone.
“A shot cracked past his ear—close enough to feel it. Concrete dust stung his eyes. He covered his head, heart hammering.”
River, Marcus and Shirley get into a tight spot.
“River blinked. His knees buckled. His shoulder smacked against something solid and deeply unpleasant-smelling.
Of course. It was Lamb.”
17. River’s A Bloody Mess
"Louisa had dragged him in nearly an hour ago after the ambush—he’d taken the brunt of the chase, then the fall, then the landing when the footpath gave out beneath him. His left ankle was wrecked, his ribs weren’t much better, and he was running a fever from whatever he'd swallowed in the floodwater."
Louisa and River wait out a storm in a safehouse.
“Jesus, River,” Louisa muttered, swatting a mosquito away from her own face, “man, these bugs really just love you, don’t they?”
River Cartwright paused mid-scratch, blinking down at the fresh constellation of red welts climbing his arm like some tragic tattoo. “Yeah, well. I’m sweet. Ask anyone.”
"The sun had dropped just enough to turn the light golden, and it slipped in through the window at an angle, catching River’s hair like a match to dry grass. The dull blond lit up into gold — soft, rich, sun-washed. Even his lashes, longer than she remembered, gleamed at the tips.
A droplet of sweat tracked from his temple down to the hinge of his jaw. Another clung stubbornly to the edge of his collarbone, glinting."
Louisa and River are undertaking surveillance. In the middle of London in a heatwave. And River has hayfever.
21. Fear is the Mind Killer
“Are you seriously afraid of tunnels?” Louisa’s voice was low in his earpiece, threaded with just enough sarcasm to cover concern.”
River suffers from claustrophobia.
"River Cartwright winced as he peeled off his shirt, the fabric tugging at bruises the size of fist marks blossoming across his ribs. His shoulder was turning an alarming shade of purple-blue, and a scrape along his side still oozed where the concrete had bitten in."
24. It was Always Burning
“Slough House had a particular smell in the summer: stale coffee, mildew, and institutional decay warmed to an unholy temperature by inadequate ventilation. River Cartwright sat slumped in his chair, collar unbuttoned, tie askew, eyes fixed on the back of his hands. They were shaking again."
River suffers third degree burns.
25. It’s Just Sprinkling
River and Louisa get stuck on a stakeout in the pouring rain.
26. Caught in the Crossfire
"It wasn’t low risk. Not when someone brought guns. Not when one of the parties double-crossed the other and the whole meeting exploded into a firefight before River and Louisa could even call it in."
River gets pinned in a shoot out and only Louisa can get him out.
27. Only Way Out is Through
"He wasn’t sleeping. He wasn’t eating. So yeah, a drink had seemed like the easiest solution."
In the aftermath of a failed op and a near-breakdown, River Cartwright confronts his spiraling pain and addiction—with only Catherine Standish’s quiet, unwavering presence to pull him back from the edge.
On their rare day off, River convinces Louisa and Shirley to join him on a “relaxing” countryside hike outside London—only for scorching heat and stubborn pride to turn their outing into a slow-motion disaster, culminating in a dangerous brush with heat exhaustion, unexpected teamwork, and the reluctant admission that maybe pub gardens are more their speed.
"Something in River snapped. The tension that had been wound tight around him finally broke."
River gets hypnotised. That's it.
"just once, she wished River Cartwright would learn how not to fall on the sharp end of everything."
You can find more of my fanfiction here, including more Slow Horses!
