surviving on the warm fuzzy feelings

Chapter Four - Take Up Space

John is a Vietnam veteran who has been dishonorably discharged for homosexual misconduct. His father has disowned him on the grounds he won't renounce an integral part of who he is. The citizenry isn't kind to returning vets and without work, he quickly finds himself homeless. But he meets up with an unlikely person at the Stonewall Inn, who he immediately defends and finds himself inexplicably attracted to - Dr. Rodney McKay, Phd Phd, technology and physics professor at City College.

Rodney trembled as he managed to finish the ragu for dinner. A surge of mixed emotions hit him like a truck and he suddenly felt very tired. It had only been twenty minutes since John had gone out for air and he hadn’t returned.

Rodney was worried. It would be dark soon and he didn’t even know where John would go. He hoped he went to Stonewall. He would at least be safe there. It was late enough. The police usually only raided during the late afternoon.

He scooped out the pasta and sauce into bowls and carried them out on a tray to Radek. He set them down on the coffee table and pulled up a folding chair.

“Where did John go?” Radek seemed reluctant to ask and his eyes held concern.

“Um, out to uh…” Rodney paused and frowned, “For god’s sake, I don’t know!”

Radek sat himself up and Rodney pushed a pillow underneath him, “Careful, Radek. You’re still in recovery.”

“Yes, yes, yes, thank you, Rodney,” Radek nodded, accepting the help. Rodney handed him a bowl of the ragu, “Mmm, looks good, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Rodney began eating. They ate in silence for a few minutes. Rodney’s eyes welled up and Radek continued to stare at him as if to say something.

“What?” Rodney finally responded.

“Did you…have a fight?” Radek asked.

“What? No!” Rodney shook his head, “Actually, I thought things were going well. We…kissed.”

Rodney blushed and Radek shot him the most beautiful smile, “Well! Congratulations! I was wondering when you two would –”

“But then he ran off and I don’t know what happened. Did I do something wrong? He said it was good…I’m confused, Radek. What am I supposed to do?” Rodney picked at his dinner, “Thought he’d be back by now.”

Radek patted his wrist, “You did nothing wrong, Rodney. He may have thought it was inappropriate to come onto you seeing as how you have taken him in and everything. It can look that way. However, I believe he is sincerely attracted to you. He is not taking advantage. You should go find him before…before he tries to find somewhere else to stay.”

“Oh god!” Rodney paled and set his bowl down, hurriedly shoving his arms into his jacket, “I hadn’t even thought about that! I hope he doesn’t think I brought him home just to…because I didn’t, alright?”

“Perish the thought,” Radek smiled, “We barely did anything after two years of knowing each other. Is not your style. No, you must explain this to him, Rodney. He has lost so much and is afraid.”

“You’re right,” Rodney nodded, “And now he’s out there all alone. He probably wanted me to go after him. I’m such an idiot. Thanks, Radek. Talking this out really helped. You gonna be okay by yourself for a little while? I’ll try not to be out too long…”

“Rodney!” Radek smiled, holding out his hand for Rodney to take, “I will be fine. You made me a lovely dinner. I could not ask for more. Besides, I can get anything I need myself. Not an invalid, you know.”

Rodney took his hand and gave it a squeeze, his eyes misty, “Thanks. I owe you one.”

“Fine, you do,” Radek pulled him in for a kiss then threw him towards the door, “Now go. Get out of here! Find John and bring him home.”

Invigorated, Rodney nearly ran out of the apartment to do just that.

Labyrinth McShep

WIP

why does he look at them like that.

- Julian Bashir