Random HQ

OH MY FUCKING GOD

AND THE ORDER OF OPERATIONS

I’m in Dumbledores math club…

You’re a mathemagician, Harry.

I just couldn’t not reblog this.

That right triangle on his forehead!

@crab-child

Being a millennial is getting buyer’s remorse over a $3.83 pack of oreos.

This is genuinely hilarious but fuckin terrible

are you a “sleeping and taking naps all the time” mentally ill person or a “i toss and turn all night and stare at the ceiling” person

Ha ha jokes on you I’m both

depression nap in the streets, up all night pondering corporeal existence in the sheets.

love: tainted

me: taken on

it: felt in the air tonight

everything: counted in large amounts

lonely heart: owned

Midnight train: going anywhere

heart: eclipsed

I am forcibly removed from the 80s

Dark mbmbam where they answer tumblr anons instead of yahoos

if I was a vampire on the run from the volturi I would just. hide at the bottom of the fuckin ocean. the ocean is huge. who’s gonna look there? Demetri would look for me and he’d just see darkness and some plankton. like where is this bitch? idk u figure it out u old hoe. I’m somewhere in the fuck you region. good luck scouring the ocean floor, 80% of this planets surface, u dipshit. I drink the blood of the scary creatures down there. I’m chillin. check mate bitch

#everything about this is a masterpiece including the url

concept: a game called “john mulaney or cecil palmer?” where you have to guess if a quote was said by popular stand-up comedian john mulaney or fictional radio host cecil gershwin palmer

this might sound easy, but please keep in mind that john mulaney has said “whoa, that tall child looks terrible! get some rest, tall child! you can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!” and cecil palmer has said “alligators: can they kill your children? yes.”

don’t date anyone who isn’t proud of you

To remember how many meters there are in a kilometre you just remember “1000” because the system of measurement in the rest of the world wasn’t invented by a drunk mathematician rolling dice.