how dare you assume i know things

Babe, are you okay? You reblogged Nick Barlow’s Clusterfuck/Keep It Together again

Thank you everyone who writes plus sized reader fanfictions I love you

(:3 っ)∋ <- seal

damn, she’s a bad bitch. oh they’re nonbinary? my bad. damn, they’re a bad person

just so we’re clear if you’ve never actually seen a cybertruck in person and have only seen photos of them i cannot stress enough how much worse they look in real life. like i honestly don’t know how it’s possible. most things look basically the same in pictures and in real life. but as stupid and ugly as cybertrucks look in photos, every person i’ve spoken to who has seen one in real life agrees that they somehow look even worse in person. and i know you’re thinking to yourself “tah they already look so bad in photos, how can they possibly look even worse in person?” I DONT KNOW. the first time i saw one on the road i was on a phone call and i literally cut myself off in the middle of a sentence just to be like “oh my GOD.” just an incredibly, laughably, unbelievably bad vehicle. i’ve never experienced anything like it. they’re just so bad

you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro

you will not feel stuck forever. you’re actually slowly but steadily moving forward in ways you don’t always notice.

forgot to leave a note for my doordasher to bring a blunt weapon to get past the catacomb skeletons so congrats to whichever necromancer is about to get my banh mi i guess

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

I think a pet deposit is stupid but at least its a stupid I can understand you know. like sure a pet could cause more damage so extra "in case of damage" money is owed. whatever. at least I have a chance of getting it back. but pet rent is bonkers crazy. like no the amount of rent thats due is what the rent is. my cat isn't like raising property tax. normal rent isn't even calculated by number of people living in the house. you can't raise the rent when an extra person moves in. what. "pet rent". what the hell are you talking about. you sound insane. its a bunny rabbit

i'm a little tutorial fairy and i flutter around after you and go like "remember, turning on your lantern can improve visibility in dark places!" but then suddenly i feel like i'm being annoying and i get really quiet and distant for the next three hours