finding and maintaining motivation.
i’ve never really been someone who chases success in terms of my career, just someone who wanted to do what i enjoyed and excel at those specific things, whether that be school or music. recently, i’ve been feeling a lack of motivation.
throughout high school, i was always very self driven because i knew that i had the goal of college in front of me. that on it’s own drove me to be a self driven and hard-working student, and this work ethic spread to my extracurriculars and passions as well. if i genuinely enjoyed something, i was able to not just complete it, but excel in it because i had the drive and passion to do so.
when i entered college as a computer science student, i think i quickly realized that my gpa was not important for a job, which resulted in a lack of motivation in school. as i landed my summer internship at microsoft, i was self assured that even without effort, i could achieve these “checkbox goals” that i was setting for myself. but, as this semester ended, i realized why i felt unsatisfied despite being able to “check off” these arbitrary accomplishments. it’s not that my grades are bad or that i am not proud of the job that i have. my grades are still pretty good, and my internship is one that is a step in the right direction.
yet, my disappointment stems from the fact that if i can accomplish these things with 50% effort, i can definitely accomplish much more if i were to invest my full potential. i often convince myself that certain goals are unrealistic solely because i am afraid of or unwilling to put in the effort required to achieve them. i convince myself that i am not one of “those” people who stand out in the passions they pursue so that i will not have to take the risk to try. but i realize that if i do not believe in myself and my potential, and if i am not willing to try, i will never know what is possible.
i know that i am happiest when i am competing with myself, constantly pushing myself to do better and be better. i am most satisfied when i am not only doing well in school, but when i am pursuing my passion in music and doing work that makes a difference. i am most content when i believe in myself.
going forward, i want to continue to pursue music by putting content out on social media. i want to find projects in work that make what i do feel more meaningful and authentic. i want to put in more effort into my schoolwork because i know that i can do better than i am doing right now. most importantly, i want to give a 100% and nothing less to everything i do, because we can all do nothing more than believe in and be the best version of ourselves.
(i apologize if any of this sounds cocky, it’s just a reminder for me to push myself more and believe in my abilities more, as we all should!)
i hope this helps anyone who has been feeling the same way, and if anyone has tips on how they overcame a lack of motivation, please feel free to message me :’)
jbbartram-illu
2087
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