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thinking about baran being so gentle and taking such good care of butch!trinity after her top surgery... helping him eat and drink and bathe, fond-eyed and more then happy to help. praising trinity every step of the way, calling her my handsome girl, my pretty boy.
victoria couldn’t be in love with trinity. she couldn’t. it would pretty much ruin everything she’s been working towards her whole entire fucked up life.
not because trinity’s loud and brash, or because she’s a girl, but because she’s a person. victoria isn’t good with people. she likes to think she is, likes to think she’s getting better with them but she knows she’s not. victoria barely feels like a person herself sometimes, and instead more like a machine trained by everyone around her. her parents, her teachers, her attendings. she’s there to serve them and make them proud.
and then there’s trinity. trinity who’s just so good at being a person. she’s free and funny and isn’t afraid to show her emotions. and that scares victoria because she herself is. she’s so fucking scared, she’s scared of everything. and sure realistically she knows trinity’s probably scared of something, everyone is, but not like victoria is. trinity’s not scared to be alive.
trinity’s not scared of victoria. not scared of loving victoria. and she knows this. she’s can see it in the way trinity teases her, in the way she always remains close by. she always invites victoria to drinks and is a bit touchy and every little thing trinity does is overriding victoria’s sense because she knows she doesn’t deserve it. she won’t treat trinity how she wants to be treated she’s sure of it. she wouldn’t be any good at this love stuff. she never even learned how to love herself.
so victoria starts avoiding trinity. she’ll say hi to her in the mornings and she’ll stand up for her friend to robby or garcia or whoever, but besides that, she needs to distance herself. trinity deserves better, victoria tells herself. trinity deserves someone who can make her feel full of joy and happiness. not someone who doesn’t know how to feel.
and maybe one day, victoria will finally realize that trinity doesn’t need happy and perfect and joyful. she needs someone to be by her side and support her. maybe victoria will realize she’s more important to trinity than she thought and she’ll ask trinity out or maybe trinity will ask her out and she’ll say yes. maybe one day, victoria will let herself be happy.
but unfortunately for victoria, today is not the day.
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i love awkward motherly boss baran, and i LOVE trinity being really bad at hiding her crush on awkward motherly boss baran.
imagine trinity and baran in the break room together while trinity eats her lunch and baran makes tea, making polite small talk, when baran’s face suddenly screws up into a confused little pout. it’s adorable, and trinity flushes, shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot. maybe they’ve been talking about nicknames, before this.
‘i confess…. i’m not the biggest fan of ‘dr. al’ as a nickname.’
‘oh,’ trinity says, thinking. she registers the discomfort on baran’s face. ‘uh— would you rather we used your full name? dr. al-hashimi?’ she hopes her nonchalance isn’t as put-on as it feels.
baran purses her lips, thinking. ‘i would, but i also understand that it’s a long name, especially when we so often have to speak quickly.’
she puts the strainer into her tea, and continues to speak. ‘a lot of people have nicknames here. i just… dislike this one.’
trinity’s face heats. why is baran thinking out loud to her like this?
‘perhaps it would be better if you called me baran.’ she looks deeply into trinity’s eyes as she says this, and trinity’s flush deepens, prickling down her neck.
baran. she’s too scared to test the syllables in her mouth, it’s somehow so intimate—
‘uh, sure, i can do that.’
baran smiles, pleased, but then turns her head, laughs a little self-deprecatingly. ‘i tried to insist on being called baran by robby on my first day, but… he wasn’t…. very receptive.’ she seems to taper off, brow furrowing in what trinity thinks might be confusion, or maybe sadness.
‘oh.’
‘maybe people decided to follow his lead. dr. al seemed to stick, after that.’
‘right.’
trinity tries to think of something helpful to say. the silence stretches, baran stirring her tea and thankfully still appearing to be lost in thought. trinity counts the seconds, and then speaks.
‘maybe… you should try again? i mean, with him gone… people wouldn’t… y’know.’ she fumbles with her words. ‘people might be cool with that, you know.’
baran seems to consider that, then nods. she turns her gaze back to her, smiling. ‘that might be a good idea. thank you, doctor santos.’
trinity catches that, the power imbalance of it. ‘uh— trinity. if i’m calling you by your first name, you should call me by mine.’ she smiles, hopefully not too awkwardly. ‘only fair.’
baran’s smile deepens. she nods. ‘alright. thank you, trinity.’
‘no problem.’
baran strides out of the room, the flask of tea made, and trinity is left with a warm feeling in her stomach. it feels good, to be liked by baran. she’d worried, at the beginning, that baran disliked her. but it feels like they’re on a good footing now.
the next time trinity approaches her, needing help with a patient, she nearly forgets, the honorific slipping out of her mouth before she can register it.
‘doctor— i mean, um, baran?’
baran turns, smiling slightly, a pleased glint in her eye. ‘yes?’
trinity’s face grows hot. ‘um— could i pull you for a consult? shoulder dislocation in south 18, uh— but i’m having a bit of trouble settling the patient.’
‘of course.’
settling the patient essentially involves baran using her mom voice and sticking a lollipop in the kid’s mouth, much to trinity’s frustration. why can’t she be good with kids? if that was all it took to settle a rowdy fourteen-year-old, she could have quietened him down enough to properly set the bone ages ago.
as baran finishes up in the room, she pats trinity’s arm, leans down a little to speak in her ear.
‘thank you, trinity. i’ll see you later.’
she smiles and walks away, leaving trinity a flushed mess in front of the now very dazed fourteen year old.
‘she likes you,’ he says, garbled around his lollipop.
trinity has half a mind to obey her immediate knee-jerk reaction, to tell him to shut up. who gets a lollipop at the doctor’s anyway? he’s too old to really get the pedes treatment, she thinks, irritatedly.
she just huffs, smiling tightly. ‘she likes everyone.’
but her stomach churns, a little, as she goes to finish typing up her notes. he smirks. what a little shit, she thinks, and then thinks, oh god. not again.
one day during handoffs, maybe two months after the fourth of july, emery walsh corners one rather alarmed trinity santos and directly asks, “do you like her?”
“what?”
“do you like yolanda? do you have feelings for her?”
and trinity’s face promptly turns beet red.
“so, that’s a yes. good. will you tell her?”
“i’m sorry?”
“for the love of all things holy, will you please tell her you have feelings for her? confess, or whatever? if i have to listen to her talk about your big green eyes and the way you cling to her in your sleep like you want her to stay even though you don’t even one more time, i’m going to lose my fucking mind.”
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Karaoke // Fireworks (it's kind of both but more Karaoke) - Garsanshimi Forward - Side of Mowalsh, Mellis, and Mcvadi - Hurt/Comfort - Quick Reference to Past Child Abuse - Everything is cute and fixed at the end - I honestly didn't start out to make it have angst but it just happened - SFW
Trinity: Okay, so everyone’s still on for tonight right? No one is flaking for their women right?
Victoria: I’m not flaking but what if my woman comes with us?
Trinity: Crash why must you have a spine of jelly?
Victoria: I DO NOT
Samira: As you know my woman is working so no I will not be flaking.
Samira: I’m actually really excited!
Mel: No flaking from me! Parker gets it. She did ask if she could join next year maybe.
Victoria: Trin you have not given me an answer.
Trinity: ……….
Victoria: Come ON
Trinity: No
Victoria: Please! It’s not a big deal.
Mel: Vic I think Trinity just really wants to make 4th of July Karaoke a tradition with just girl Pittlings. But if you want to skip I completely understand.
Victoria: I don’t want to skip! I just want Cass to be able to come.
Trinity: I said no.
Victoria: Is this because of last 4th of July?????
Trinity: I have work to do.
Trinity: Mira we’ll see you at 9! Can’t wait to hear how Allegany Gen is going!
Victoria: Get back here Santos!
Victoria: I will come to the Pedes wing and harass you in front of children!
Trinity looks at the last text and rolls her eyes. Fucking Crash. She shoves her phone back in her pocket and goes to check on her patients.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Trinity just finishes putting on chapstick when she hears the door open to her apartment. What’s Huckleberry doing here? He’s supposed to be at the farm. “What, no farm benefits?” She calls. There’s no answer so she sticks her head out and finds her girlfriends. “Oh uh hey.” She says quickly before ducking her head back in. Her face feels hot. She’d mentioned what she was doing for the 4th to them. Played up that it’s a Pittling tradition now. Just the Pittlings. It has nothing to do with the fact that the thought of asking either of them to join her on this particular date makes her skin crawl with shame and sadness. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Okay.” They respond in calm unison.
Three minutes later she emerges in cargo pants, Chucks, and a muscle tee. She’s going for a sort of casual quasi punk look. Her girlfriends are on her couch looking at their phones, but look up when they hear her feet cautiously hitting the floor.
“I uh I thought you two, Cass, and Parker were going to watch the fireworks from one of the roof top bars?” Trinity asks nervously.
“Well we were but we thought we’d drop by to see if you’d want to combine the celebrations? We wouldn’t ask you to come with us but maybe the four of us to tag along to karaoke?” Baran says in a rather tentative voice. Like she knows this is about to ruffle Trinity’s feathers. The more hardened look on Yolanda’s face confirms it. The surgeon is sitting stiffly and her eyes won’t actually meet the R3’s. “But only if you’d be a hundred percent on board. No pressure.” Baran starts up again.
Yolanda rolls her eyes. “Cassie told us that Vic asked if she could come and you said no. Cass isn’t upset about being told no. But you know how she gets when Vic is upset.”
“Well Crash needs to work on her separation anxiety. By saying yes to Cass that would mean she’d be ditching you guys and I didn’t like that.” Trinity says defensively. Today is not the day for something like this. It will never be. This year and last she’s managed to work and keep herself as distracted as she could manage and then karaoke with Mel did a surprising amount to drag her mind away from what it really wanted to think about and what it was used to thinking about on the 4th. It also doesn't help that her mind keeps insisting that if she had asked Baran and especially Yolanda to go with her they’d say no. Karaoke is dumb. “It's just a Pittlings thing, okay?” Her voice coming out snappy.
Baran’s assessing her and Yolanda is honest to god glaring at her like she did last 4th when she scolded her for giving Langdon a piece of his own medicine.
“Trinity, are you okay?” Baran asks softly as she stands to make her way over to her.
“I’m fine. I just want to get going. Samira’s coming and I haven’t gotten to see her in like a month with our schedules.” Trinity says side stepping Baran’s attempt at making contact. She shoves her hands in pockets and starts moving to the door.
But a certain surgeon seems to smell the bullshit and stands in front of the door. “Why are you being like this?” Yolanda demands sternly, but Trinity sees the worry in her brow. The R3 just stops in her tracks and looks at the floor. “Trin what is this?” Her voice is less stern. “Is this…” Voice now sounding insecure which is always such a jarring thing. “This is about last year isn’t it?” Trinity doesn’t answer. “Look I get if you’re still feeling some kind of way about it with me but don’t take it out on Baran too.” Her voice finding some fire.
“That’s not… It’s not… I don’t want to hear no. I don’t want to hear that you’d rather it just be the four of you. I don’t want to hear it. Not today of all days. It’d be too hard. Last year nearly broke me. It did. I don’t know how far I would have spiraled if Mel hadn’t also had such a shit day and been ditched.” Trinity says with a bit of acid, bringing her arms across her chest.
She feels the air rush out of Yolanda’s nose but before she can speak, Baran beats her to it. “Baby, we wouldn’t have said no.”
“My brain can’t always believe that…” She says weakly as tears start falling that she knows she can’t stop. “Today is just too much to try and fight the shit part of my brain. Can I just go?”
“Is me not going to see fireworks with you last year really doing all this?” Yolanda asks condescendingly. “Because if it is I think you need to tal–”
“I swear to christ if you tell me to talk to a therapist for the second 4th of July in a row I will be staying at this fucking shit empty apartment for a week, alone. So help me god.” Trinity says, stepping in Yolanda’s space, leveling her with a look that’s reserved for when she feels backed into a corner. “No it’s not just that. It’s the fact that thirteen years ago today is when I had to sit in a police station and tell a bunch of adult men about the worst thing to ever happened to me in my fucking life. That is why I am crying and being so fucking weird. And I have already talked to my goddamn therapist this week about it. So please excuse me if I can’t convince the very fucked up part of my brain that a thing that upset me last year wouldn’t happen again.”
“Trin I–” Yolanda tries to say, her face having dropped into unfathomable guilt with each word that just came from Trinity’s mouth.
“Yolanda Garcia, if you want to see later tonight or at all this week you need to step the fuck out of my way and let me go scream sing these feelings out of my body with Mel and Samira. Crash can ditch for all I care.” Trinity says in a low dangerous voice.
There’s a pause and Trinity honestly thinks she’s going to have to scream at Yolanda. But then she steps aside. Trinity goes to open the door but Yolanda grabs hold of her pinky. The youngest woman glares at her, while being met with a face stricken with regret. “I’m sorry… Please come to my apartment when you’re done. I want to hold you. I… need to hold you. We’ll both be there.”
Trinity can’t bring words to her lips but she doesn’t need to. She nods and leans in, pressing a kiss on Yolanda’s cheek before turning and giving Baran one as well.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When someone said count your blessings now // 'Fore they're long gone // I guess I just didn't know how // I was all wrong // They knew better, still, you said forever // And ever, who knew?
Trinity’s voice rings out in the final chore and Mel, Samira, and yes even Victoria are on their feet. She hands the mic off to the DJ and stumbles into the other women’s arms. They’re all three, maybe five drinks in? She stopped a while ago that doesn’t mean all the alcohol hasn’t caught up with her. Why do you think she just sang a song about losing a friend? She told them before she got up there that she just really loves Pink but now she feels like she’s gotten most of the yuck out of her body. Doing a call back sing of “You Outta Know” helped as well though this time it didn’t hold the same venom in her body as it did last year.
It’s about midnight now and everyone seems content to chill now and yap. It immediately devolves into how much they love their girlfriends and how lucky they are. It spurs them into so much emotion that they all get up on the stage and sing Melissa Ethridge’s “Come to My Window.”
It’s not until they hobble off the stage that they come face to face with the women they were so passionately singing about.
Samira is the first to bolt into Emery’s arms. “Baby how are you here? Oh my god.” She squeals excitedly, pulling her into a kiss.
Mel jumps in place for a moment before speed walking into Parker’s arms, hugging her tightly. Parker returns the gravity of the hug, kissing her temple, and the blonde sinks into her.
Victoria goes full Koala and nearly knocks Cassie over in the process.
Trinity looks at her girlfriends. The alcohol made her pensive and now she feels bad. But like they can see into her mind, they approach her and wrap around her. “Don’t worry My Love. We’re not mad. We’re honestly proud of you for setting such a strong boundary.” Baran whispers.
“But–”
“Yeah the delivery was a little rough but whether there was a big or little reason behind it, you set it and kept to it.” Yolanda said before turning the youngest face to hers. “I’m also so sorry for what I almost said. I think I may need to talk with someone about that.”
Trinity can’t find words for the second time tonight but nods, this time connecting their lips. When she pulls away and looks to Baran she’s giving them a bit of a smoldering look. She looks over to her friends and sees that everyone seems a little antsy and itching to go home. “Alrighty Pittlings. Let’s disperse. Time to go make some fireworks but at our women’s homes.” Trinity says with wiggling eyebrows.
“Trinity Marie!” Baran scolds with a giggle.
“Don’t have to tell me twice. Later!” Emery says to everyone with a wink before practically carrying a very delighted Samira out of the bar.
Everyone laughs at the attending surgeon’s actions while taking a queue from her and going their separate ways. Trinity, Baran, and Yolanda’s night did have the fireworks that Trinity spoke about, but it also had what Yolanda had asked for.
It wouldn’t be until about a week later that Baran and Trinity realized that night was the first time Yolanda actually told them that she needed them like that. To just hold and cherish and love. She’d shown in and proven it time and time again but never so directly with words. They don’t say anything to her after they come to that realization but they show her that night over and over until she’s boneless.
…so this is not a question i am a tad bit idiotic and didn’t realise the person who does the REALLY COOL age swap yuri au was also my beloved polypittyuri smau author???? Just expressing insane appreciation and love over ur work and art in all forms!!! like holy shit!!!
Thank you <3
- whimsyuri
lolll there's probably an 80% chance i'm involved with anything mcvadtoshimi related... i love telling silly stories about my blorbos !!! i'm very happy that people enjoy 🩷 thank youuu
i'm also behind putting together several pittyuri related twitter artist collabs (these are probably the fandom contributions i'm proudest of because... community... friendship... ough 🥹)
anyway if you love pittyuri 🫵 make cool stuff and tell your artists/writers/editors you love them <3
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something something Trinity runs up to Javadi as they're leaving the hospital on the birthday and hands her a cute sparkly (purple ofc) gift bag.
Javadi mutters an embarassed thank you before rummaging through the bag at Trinity's request.
She's impressed and a little surprised at the contents, Dr. Jart's face mask, a travel sized mascara, and a few packets of samplers of an expensive moisturizer Victoria talked about with a patient two weeks ago.
And, small wrapped box sitting at the bottom of the bag. She eyes Trinity's wide grin from the corner of her eye as the wrapping paper tears under her fingers.
"Oh my god-" she gasps, dropping the small purple vibrator back in the bag.
"Relax would you," Trinity grins, "You're 21. Every grown woman needs a vibrator."
"Trinity I still live with my parents. What if-"
"It's a joke, crash, you can throw it out as soon as you get home if you want," she shrugs, "or hide it in your sock drawer like a normal person your age would. Doesn't matter to me."
And Victoria's hand hovers over the garbage in her bathroom for a long moment. She looks at the little thing - it's small, discreet. She hits the power button at the bottom. It makes a noise, but under her covers it would negligible.
Half an hour later, her face mask is drying on her face and she loads up AO3, armed with her new gift.
*****
"So," Trinity greets the next morning, "Did you like my gift?"
Trinity truly meant the face mask. She likes to tease and annoy Victoria, but she'd never cross the line into making her actually uncomfortable. And those face masks were expensive, she was hoping her money was well spent more than anything else.
But Victoria looks at her like a deer in the headlights, wide eyed and panicked.
"The face masks, Tori," Santos clarifies with a grin.
"Oh yeah," Victoria clears her throat, "Good-great. Moisturizing."
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