Which Ways Up?

Turn love into music. Slow dance in the middle of everything. Cooking. Conversations. The rain.

Everything is going to be alright. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or even a month from now. But eventually, everything will fall into place and you’ll be alright.

I’m tired. I’m hurting. I wanna stay inside all day, I just want the world to go away. I really hate this feeling, it’s like I’m here, but I’m not. Like somebody cares, but they don’t. Like I belong somewheres else, anywhere but here. I’m just too tired to fight, tired of waiting for the good things to come my way. My head is a horrible place to be and I’m not sure how much more I can take, I’ve been so sad lately, it’s like I can’t even cry anymore. I breathe everyday wishing I didn’t. I’m such a fucking mess that cannot be cleaned up, and I’m scared because I’m falling into old habits and crying for the wrong reasons. I hate these voices in my head, I hate myself. Someone please save me, just take the pain away. Someday I’ll just disappear and never come back. I’m not good with feelings, I never was.

Sometimes the thing you want most does not happen and sometimes the things you never expect happens, does.