WheresShadowfax

The most noble thing I have ever seen

Oh my god. Get some sleep, horse.

I am despondent

My soul just left my entire body

I’ve gone to a better place

what if we called “flat” soda “flaccid” soda instead

hey, tandem?

I’m out for the evening

ok i’ll wait

Tandem, come home and face the horror you’ve created

no

I just love sleep so much ……. like u just close ur eyes and ur gone bitch ………… brain logged the fuck off ……… powerful

holy shit i have the best idea

my line of logic was “well if i put the sponge in the blender, when i turn it on the sponge will spin around and scrub the blender for me so i dont have to spend ages cleaning it”

thats not what happened though :•(

the contact name im weak!! 

i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars

I’m sorry what

#I CAN’T BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW

@genericrevenge

OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?

@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed