No Mourners. No Funerals.

“Cleanse me, Mother”

“thank”

I have something extremely important to say

The small little gasp I let out is heard universally when you view this picture

Last week I joked that my very cerebral, retired-police-chief-grandpa is basically Holt from Brooklyn 99 and then today someone said, “damn, we’re out of decaf” and he just deadpans “well there’s no need to get hysterical.”

Yesterday he said “if you need to insult the same person twice you’ve already failed in your goal to devastate them”

My Yaya was trying to remember the name of a guy who stole money from her in high school today and my grandpa instantly pipes up “his name was Bernie Ryan and he was a scoundrel”

you play soccer with them in space????????? what

yeah

just to avoid accidentally using offensive language i’m going to start using 90s surfer dude slang because inadvertently offending someone is totally bogus dude

people might not want to be called dude

you are radically right and that is so not tubular my friend i apologise

I find your poor grammar and spelling to be offensive to my eyes.

watch me catch this gnarly wave of i don’t care