Fiction > Reality

Pepper Potts woke up alone.

Not surprising.

Even so, the large bed she slept in felt lonely. While she’d moved in with her boyfriend a few months prior they’d barely spent a month’s worth of nights sharing the same bed before things had changed drastically. Or at least it felt drastic to her. Bitterness. What a way to start the morning. There was no point in lying around so Pepper got up and began her daily routine; showering, primping, going through emails, and preparing her day as far from the Malibu Mansion as she could get.

The mansion was extravagant, a place she’d spent years working. Sleek, modern, open-concept, and filled with the best technology available. Most wouldn’t have asked for more. But the home on the cliffside overlooking the ocean had become a place of misery. Pepper avoided it like the plague.

It wasn’t the house that was the problem. 

No, the house was incredible.

Throughout the short time she’d lived there, the walls became filled with tension. Anger. Instead of trying to sort it out Pepper avoided it. She was tired of trying to fix something that couldn’t be fixed. Not by her, at least. When she left the bedroom and walked down the hall, past exquisite artwork she’d procured over the years, the house remained silent. It’d never been warm for her. She walked into the living room and expected to find her boyfriend asleep on the couch, a place where he often wound up instead of in bed next to her.

But he wasn’t there today.

Nerves already frayed at their ends, Pepper pulled her reddish-blond hair back into a ponytail, leaving only her bangs to frame her freckled face. She muttered angry words beneath her breath, words she’d never say to his face and probably didn’t mean. Her modest heels clicked on the floor as she walked across marble to find the front door wide open. Her heart stopped. Was there an intruder? No, Jarvis would have warned them. The home’s smart computer, which she was told was an insult to call it, would have never allowed it.

That and there were bulky wires coming from outside, winding through the home. She followed them to the stairs that led to the basement. To where Tony spent most, if not all, of his time. That was where he was. That was why the door was open.

Tony Stark was beyond extraordinary in many ways but being a boyfriend was not one of them. At least not in Virginia “Pepper” Potts’ opinion.

Ignore it, she thought. Just keep walking. Go about your day. Don’t let it bother you.

But she couldn’t ignore it. It wasn’t who she was. Against her better judgment, she walked down the floating steps and at the bottom accessed a security panel near the glass door. Her hand hovered over the keys and she turned to the side aghast as she noted that the wires had been poured through a massive hole in the concrete wall. A massive hole that hadn’t been there the last time she’d come into the basement.

Discarded chunks of concrete and dust surrounded the hole. Her blue eyes narrowed and grayed with anger. Pepper finished putting in the code hastily and waited impatiently for the door to open but it didn’t.

“Tony!” Pepper hollered but received no response. At the far end of the massive basement hidden beneath the mansion she caught sight of the very man she’d called but his back was turned to her and his focus elsewhere. Blueprints hung in the air, framed in a holographic blue light. The entire house was wired up to the most sophisticated computer system in the world. Jarvis. He was responsible for taking care of most of the house and provided them with nearly everything a person could ask for. He was the ultimate butler. Tony had been building things like Jarvis his whole life.

A genius who put most of the world to shame with an attitude to boot. He’d taken over his father’s company, Stark Industries, obtained multiple doctorates, led the way in weapons development and technology and was changing the world with his energy research. But a few years prior something had changed Tony to his very core. Something that made him even more extraordinary than most.

He’d nearly died.

During a weapons demonstration Tony had been kidnapped and held hostage. An explosion had nearly taken his life. The shrapnel would’ve destroyed his heart but for the man held in captivity alongside him who saved his life. Tony had been held for ransom in Afghanistan alongside another scientist. This man had rigged up a small electromagnet that fit inside Tony’s chest and kept the shrapnel from reaching his heart and killing him.

That felt like ages ago.

“Apologies, Miss Potts.” Jarvis’ polite voice spoke as the door opened. Pepper approached cautiously. She could see the glow of the reactor that now powered the electromagnet through Tony’s black muscle shirt. He was in his own world, as he often was, blissfully unaware of her approach. What was he up to? She had no idea. In fact, she didn’t care. This was all Tony did these days. He spent so much of his time locked away that he sometimes forgot the rest of the world existed. A man who had been one of the most notorious socialites on the planet had become a complete recluse.

The blue light of the reactor sent a pang of frustration through her. Was she angry at the arc reactor keeping him alive? It wasn’t that, she dismissed it. It was that the same arc reactor powered the armored suits that lined the room. There had been only seven but now there were at least thirty. Naturally, Tony was building yet another. The suits were something that made Tony even more extraordinary than he already was.

He was Iron Man.

A so-called super hero.

Pepper never liked that term. In fact, she thought what Tony did was reckless, not super. Yet, there he was, cooped up in his basement, having created a gaping hole in the wall so he could power who knew what to build another super hero suit. The wires were plugged into a machine that was haphazardly thrown together. Some pieces were held in place with belts and duct tape. Armani belts, nonetheless. He was so wasteful sometimes. The machine was creating a levitation force or something.

The extraordinary felt very ordinary that morning, at least to Pepper.

“Tony.” He didn’t reply so she repeated his name. “Tony!” She grabbed his shoulder and forced his attention to her when he didn’t acknowledge her. She was tired of being ignored, tired of finding their home in shambles, and tired of having to combat a temper tantrum from a full grown man every time they spoke. 

“Oh, hey.” Tony offered a tired smile. There were bags under his eyes. He hadn’t slept again. It happened more often than Tony wanted to admit. Pepper was already mad at him too, so he didn’t want to add fuel to the flames if he could help it. He tried to appear friendly. Everything he did seemed to piss her off and it wasn’t for lack of his trying. They simply couldn’t communicate anymore. Then again, they had never been particularly good at communication to begin with, even when she’d been his assistant. He’d never really listened to her. It’d been an adjustment to have to while dating.

It was funny. Sometimes Tony forgot that Pepper was his girlfriend. She’d been his assistant far longer. Romance sparked between them after the incident that made him Iron Man. Part of him knew that the romance blossomed because of his newfound fear of mortality. At the time, he’d thought it more than that. Now he realized that their relationship was born from something unsustainable. “Before you get mad at me…”

“Oh, it is far too late for that.”

“How’s that possible? You just got here!” He grinned, a charming, boyish smile.

“You spent all night putting holes in our walls. Did you even try to sleep? What about work, Tony? Hmm? What about your, you know, company?” There was a brief time where Pepper had been CEO of Stark Industries but she’d never really been qualified for the position. She’d assisted Tony with the job for years and she was certainly an intelligent and powerful woman, but she simply wasn’t Tony Stark. No one could replace him and the job was too much. Thankfully, Tony had been more than willing to take the position back from her once she’d formally resigned.

Except that for the past few months, Pepper was filling the void Tony left in his absence, making her acting CEO once again. She brought work to him since he refused to take the initiative to deal with it on his own. Often he made appointments or meetings and then promptly forgot about them. Time was a construct that he no longer paid attention to.

“But you do see this thing I built, right? I’ll have to replace some of the cookware from the kitchen. I may have welded it in here. The copper was just what I needed to boost the voltage.” Tony pointed to a pot handle sticking out of the back end of the machine holding up his suit. Pepper didn’t have to say anything for Tony to know she didn’t think that was funny. “It’s an anti-gravity device.” Pepper heaved a skeptical sigh despite the evidence in front of her eyes. Things were floating! 

And she didn’t care. 

“Last night I had a revelation. An idea on how to create a pocket in an existing space, similar to a vacuum, where I could manipulate the gravity within that space. You see, I can control it with… you don’t care, do you?” Tony’s smile faded and the light in his eyes disappeared with it. She never cared. Even when she was his assistant she hadn’t cared.

“There’s real work to be done and you’re down here playing with cookware.”

“It’s Saturday.” Tony whined and pouted but it had no impact on his girlfriend. He considered himself quite good looking and charming. Why didn’t she? It never really worked on her, he supposed, even before all this.

“Yes, it’s Saturday. We should go out and do something! Get out of the house. Do anything besides this. If you’re not going to work on something that needs working on then we should get out. Take me out, Tony. I need to go out for something besides work.” Pepper pled with him. Watching Tony’s excitement fade briefly made her feel guilty. He never seemed to care when it was her on the other end, so why should she feel bad?

“This needs working on too even if you can’t see that.” Tony pointed to the machine. With a wave of his hand the schematics hanging in the air disappeared. A dull hum faded into a whine and the machine turned off. The pieces of his suit clattered into a heap noisily. Tony’s heart was racing at the idea of going out for the day. It was a bad idea.

He didn’t like going out anymore. He couldn’t control what happened out there. Every time he considered it, his heart leapt into his throat. He didn’t understand why. He was in excellent shape and excellent health. There was no reason for it. No logical reason, at least.

“You can tinker later. Come have lunch with me.” Pepper hoped that getting Tony out of the house would break the cycle. They hadn’t been on a date since before they’d returned to Malibu from New York. Pepper was tired of waiting for Tony to be the boyfriend she wanted. And Tony was tired of having to cater to her when she didn’t extend him the same courtesy. All in all, even if they went out, it wouldn’t accomplish what the other wanted. Pepper wanted Tony to be someone he wasn’t and Tony didn’t know what he wanted anymore. “The press is dying to see you. It’ll be fun.”

For a few precious moments, Tony considered putting his things away, getting showered, dressed, and going out with Pepper just to humor her. But as he did, his thoughts spiraled. The world outside of his basement wasn’t safe. There were things out there beyond his understanding. Things that he had to work on protecting them from. His hands were suddenly cold and clammy. He couldn’t leave until it was safe. Until he was sure of it. Pepper didn’t understand. Tony had stopped trying to explain months ago because she didn’t listen or care. Humanity was far from the most intelligent creatures in the universe, a thing he struggled to understand.

“I have too much to do.” Tony nodded to his work. He was only half-lying about that. “This is a huge breakthrough. I’d like to make a clean design if I can. What about tomorrow?”

“I don’t care about this, Tony. I don’t care about the suits or about the anti-whatever!”

“It’s an anti-gravity machine and the implications are staggering. Maybe you need to get your ears checked, Pepper.” Tony attempted a joke but it was completely lost on the fiery red-head who was now red from head to toe.

“I don’t care.” She snapped and pointed a severe finger at him. He leaned away from it comically. “You don’t come to bed anymore.”

“You kicked me out of bed, actually.” Tony’s smile faded. For a man notoriously famous for his libido, he certainly hadn’t wanted to do that with her for ages. Nagging was not a turn on.

“You don’t come to work.”

“I can work from wherever I want.”

“There’s no arguing with you!” Pepper stamped her foot like a petulant child and her anger was warranted. This wasn’t the first time they’d had this argument. It was circular and pointless. Tony checked out when it got like this. “I’m going out with or without you. If you’d rather stay down here with your toys than go out with your girlfriend then fine. I don’t care. Do whatever you like. That’s all you ever do anyway. I’ll just hang out with Happy.” Pepper stormed off. Maybe she expected him to follow her.

He wouldn’t. 

Tony watched Pepper storm off. When she was gone, he turned to the machine that he’d been proud of moments ago. Instead of getting back to work, Tony turned away from it. He walked across the massive basement that was his laboratory, office, garage, and workroom. His feet didn’t feel like his own. They were heavy and dragged across concrete.

Sitting at the center of his round desk that was both sleek and modern, Tony grabbed the stress ball that rested atop it. It was a gift from his friend, James Rhodes, as a joke. There was a faded print of an emoji on it. Tony squeezed the life out of it and thought it was perhaps the best gag gift he’d ever gotten. 

“All I do? That’s all you do.” Tony muttered. Pepper would be going out with his long time driver, Happy Hogan. An ex-boxer and a good man but Tony hadn’t seen him in weeks. Maybe months. He really did lose track of time down here. They’d once spent their time together goofing around and getting into trouble but recently Happy was by Pepper’s side and not his. Tony probably should have been jealous that they spent so much time together but he wasn’t.

In fact, all Tony wanted was for things to go back to the way they were before he and Pepper were dating. It wasn’t that dating was bad or anything or that he didn’t like her. It was that they hadn’t meshed the way he’d hoped. He missed the Pepper Potts who had been his assistant. Who had been his friend. He missed the driver who sent him stupid memes in his email. Ever since they’d returned from Manhattan, he’d lost both of those people.

They couldn’t be like that again. He knew that. If Tony broke up with Pepper then she would become another red ex on a long list of them. He’d have to replace his assistant and his friend and he didn’t know how to begin doing that. She’d been his assistant so long that he didn’t remember how to be without her. And he didn’t want to lose Pepper forever. It was probably the longest relationship he’d ever had with anyone! For years he had a reputation of being kind of a slut. And now? Now that he was Iron Man how could he ever trust anyone new?

That and he didn’t think he could go back to being that guy. Tony was definitely still a flirt but his priorities had changed. He’d changed. He knew that suggesting to Pepper that they go backwards in time would be a bad idea. But she didn’t seem like she enjoyed being with him either. He didn’t know how to fix it. Not being able to fix something drove Tony bonkers.

Damned if he did. Damned if he didn’t.

Things weren’t always bad. Even after they’d returned to Malibu, things were okay for a time. They’d gone to dinner, slept in the same bed, been close. But it wasn’t long after their return that he had the night terrors. He’d wake up thrashing or yelling. Pepper eventually sent him out of the room so she could sleep. Despite what he thought was obvious distress, he was relegated to the couch in the living room or a guest bed. It felt more appropriate to lay on the couch.

At the time it hadn’t bothered him. But when it became so frequent that he didn’t try to sleep upstairs anymore, it ate away at him. He’d tried to explain that he couldn’t control the nightmares and that it wasn’t to annoy her. He’d tried to stop having them. The only way he could avoid them was by avoiding what caused them which was sleep. Which meant not sleeping. Even Tony Stark, as brilliant as he was, couldn’t devise a way to live without sleep and not for lack of trying. The human body required a daily reset. He didn’t like it, but that’s how it was.

That and the truth became clear. Pepper didn’t care that he was having nightmares. She said everyone had them. It wasn’t her fault, and she needed sleep. Tony understood, he guessed, but at the same time he wasn’t trying to hurt her with them. He was struggling. Tony only wanted her to understand and try to work with him to find a solution but she hadn’t been interested. Instead, she thought he was making excuses. When it was clear she wouldn’t talk about it, Tony lost interest in talking entirely.

What was the point? It only ever served to frustrate him and he was already frustrated in about fourteen different ways. Pepper saw that he was struggling. Struggling to sleep. Struggling to leave the house. It was obvious, even to the press, that something was wrong with Tony Stark. So why was it that the woman who was supposed to be sharing her life with him couldn’t see it? He’d made a million excuses for her. Maybe she thought he wouldn’t want help. Maybe she thought it wasn’t her responsibility to point it out.

But wasn’t that part of being in a relationship?

Tony was new to committed relationships but he was fairly certain that he was obligated to ask Pepper if something was wrong when she was upset. Even if he was a stubborn asshole at times, it would have been nice to know she cared enough to ask. Tony had never asked for help. And he wasn’t the type to. So when he tried to talk and was dismissed, he felt shut down. And the problem internalized. He wanted to be happy again. He wanted Pepper to be happy too. He wanted that more than anything. He’d done all this for her. All the suits and projects, all the things she belittled- they were for her! They were to protect the people he cared about.

That was enough of that. 

He had bigger problems at the moment. Tony Stark was the most brilliant mind of his generation. He could handle anything that came at him, even the horrors of his own mind. He’d never failed at anything before so he wouldn’t fail at this. Even so, the tips of his fingers tingled. He squeezed the stress ball again. Maybe he hadn’t eaten enough.

How could he solve a problem when he wasn’t sure what the problem was? Life had changed. The entire world knew that there was more out there beyond their little planet. These past few months had been the first of his life where he doubted himself. Overconfidence was one of his greatest strengths. Pepper would argue it was one of his greatest weaknesses.

New York had shattered that confidence four months ago.

Chills ran through him as he thought about it. A sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach weighed him down like someone was watching him and waiting to strike. Someone unseen. Even his well-guarded home couldn’t save him from that feeling. Like something terrible would happen beyond his sight at any moment. His palms were sweating and every squeak of his chair only worsened the paranoia.

Even the mere thought of New York had that effect on him. While helping SHIELD locate the Tesseract, an object from another world stolen by a God, Tony had nearly died. Gods. Other worlds. It was overwhelming. It wasn’t the first time where Tony had stared death in the face but he couldn’t shake what he’d seen that day. The expansive unknown haunted his every breath. He coughed and tugged on his shirt. It was suddenly too tight and too warm. He’d have to check the thermostat. He lost his grip on the stress ball, fingers numb and trembling.

The God, Loki, was from another world too, hoping to conquer Earth with alien forces. He’d purposely forgotten what they were called. He’d tried to forget as much as he could. It all made him ill when he thought of it. His numb hands grasped the arms of his chair with a white-knuckled grip. It felt like a fist was in the back of his throat, making him nauseous.

When SHIELD, the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division, saw what Loki had done, they’d fired a nuclear weapon at the portal the God created with his Tesseract to try and close it to prevent alien invasion. But using nuclear weapons would have killed millions. Maybe more. Tony couldn’t let that happen. So he’d grabbed the weapon and guided it through the portal and held onto it for as long as he could. He couldn’t risk it not getting through the portal.

He’d embraced death in those moments, damn the consequences. And in doing so he’d seen behind the proverbial curtain. The strength of other worlds was far superior to Earth. How was he supposed to prevent every possible attack to his home? He tried to dismiss it. But he couldn’t. So he focused on doing what he did best. Creating. Building. Inventing. Using technology to protect them. To protect the people he cared about most. The very same people who now couldn’t stand to be around him.

“I can’t…” Tony had every intention of telling himself to stop dwelling and get up. He couldn’t think about New York. He couldn’t think about dangers beyond his understanding. He couldn’t think about Loki or Gods. And he certainly couldn’t think about what his life had become since he’d cheated death a second time after falling out of the portal in his broken suit.

He’d lost control and here he was losing it again.

His hands felt foreign. They curled against his will and spots formed in his vision. The pounding of his heart in his ears drowned out all other sounds. His thoughts raced irrationally. If he took deep breaths, he’d calm down. But what if he couldn’t this time?

Standing, he searched for his water bottle and instead his legs wobbled and failed him. He grasped the edge of his desk desperately to stop himself from falling. Hands that earlier felt clammy were now too hot and the shaking was so bad that it wasn’t just his hands anymore but his whole body. His breath was too fast. The more he tried to understand what was happening, the worse it got. His chest grew tight and he wheezed. He coughed. Was he having an allergic reaction? A heart attack? 

“Water.” Tony couldn’t remember where he’d left his water bottle. He frantically searched his desk for it, knocking things over blindly in the process. He wasn’t sure water would help but his throat was suddenly so dry that he felt like it couldn’t hurt. As he used the desk to guide him in his search, his chair swung and knocked over the bottle he’d been searching for. Water poured onto the floor. “God damnit!” Tony cursed, punching his desk and hard.

The pain in his hand stung but it distracted him from the insanity taking over his body. Shocks reverberated from his hand to his elbow. Tony punched his desk again and again. He’d keep hitting until his body cooperated. He threw over his monitor which crashed to the floor and sparked as the screen cracked. Papers flew across the room and he kicked his chair as far from him as he could. Out of things to destroy, he stumbled in place.

Tony came to reality, standing at the center of his circular desk and surrounded by destruction. He could breathe. What was that? What was happening to him? He couldn’t make sense of it.

Was he so upset with Pepper that he’d flown off the handle? Tony didn’t think so. He wasn’t even that angry. Usually, he’d mask this kind of annoyance with humor but instead he’d nearly blacked out. Tony sat on the floor where his chair had once been. Head held in his shaking hands, Tony took deep, greedy breaths and measured his heart rate. Other than being elevated, he couldn’t point out what was wrong. A cardiac episode? Maybe the arc reactor was failing.

“Jarvis, what the hell just happened?” Tony muttered. It wasn’t his first cardiac scare in the last few months. Or what he described as a cardiac scare. It wasn’t like he’d talked to a doctor about it. A doctor would have thought he was crazy. And maybe he was. Behind his eyelids he saw otherworldly monsters twice his size and ten times as smart coming for him. He snapped them open, his pulse racing again. It was like he’d been running for his life.

“Your blood pressure is high, Mr. Stark.” The charming computer answered as if to voice his thoughts.

“But why?”

“Your heart seems perfectly fine. Everything other than your heart rate and blood pressure appears normal.” Jarvis was quiet for a few seconds, presumably searching for something that would match his symptoms. “May I suggest that you’re suffering from an anxiety attack?”

“What?” Tony snarled dismissively. “Me? Come on, Jarvis, be serious.” Tony couldn’t hear the quip that his computer replied with. Was it possible? Tony Stark being incapacitated by something as stupid as anxiety? Panic? It was absurd. Not possible. Panic attacks were for teenagers or socially anxious people. Tony was neither of those things. 

But what if he was wrong to assume? Even when he’d been held captive he hadn’t panicked. So why now? How pathetic. He’d look into later. He only knew what he assumed. But the idea of having a panic attack made his heart beat harder. The death grip on his chest returned. “The reactor.” Tony asked Jarvis. Maybe it was overheating the electromagnet! Could that mimic the signs of a heart attack? That had to be it. It was the only thing that made sense. Not panic. Couldn’t be anxiety. But as sweat trickled down his brow, he knew that’s what it was.

He’d felt it before. Waking up from nightmares, near tears, choking on his breath. Though tears hadn’t been shed, the shame he felt that they nearly had only made things worse.

Ringing filled the room.

Tony gasped for breath and blinked his eyes open. When had he hugged his knees? Closed his eyes? And where was the ringing coming from? It wasn’t like the ringing in his ears. There was a chirping to his left. A long robotic arm extended toward him, holding a water bottle. It was the very first robot Tony had ever built. DUM-E. It very rarely succeeded in doing anything but now it’d done exactly what he needed. Tony took the bottle and drank. Guzzled. The ringing continued so Tony waved his hand to Jarvis to let him know he could let the call come through. It was the phone ringing, not him going slowly insane. 

At least not yet.

Thoughts still racing, heart still going a mile a minute, Tony was grateful for the interruption of the phone. It broke the grip of anxiety that he wouldn’t admit was overwhelming him. He caught sight of the caller ID on the virtual interface that appeared before him, of one of the very few privileged enough to have his personal contact information.

“Tony?” Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes spoke. Rhodey’s voice was a regular comfort in comparison to the shrill screaming of his vociferous thoughts. At first Tony couldn’t find his voice. Rhodey’s voice repeated. “Tony? Is this a bad connection? Are you capable of having a bad connection?”

“No. I’m here, Rhodes.” Tony’s voice was scratchy, like he hadn’t talked in ages. The mess he was surrounded with was suddenly very real. When had he done something so stupid?

“Jesus, you scared me for a minute.” Rhodey exhaled on the other line. Had he? Why?

“Sorry.” Tony was usually full of quips but he couldn’t muster a single one. Rhodey’s worry was palpable. Tony paid it no mind. There was no explaining what he’d been through and he certainly wasn’t going to tell Rhodey that he was having a panic attack. Or what he thought was a panic attack. It was embarrassing.

“Sorry? Tony? What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing, Rhodey.” Tony’s voice was better after a drink of water. “What’s up? Is this about the Warmachine again? If you want more upgrades it has to come to me. I am not contracted by the military anymore and have no plans to be.” The words spilled out of him so naturally that he was grateful it masked his disorientation.

“Nope, just checking in. Haven’t talked in awhile. Most of the time I can’t get you to shut up.” Rhodey began. It was true. They hadn’t seen each other much since he’d started dating Pepper.

Rhodey missed his best friend. He understood there was a grace period for new relationships but he didn’t think that was the cause of the distance anymore. Tony was rarely seen with Pepper. And when Rhodes did see Pepper it was with Happy. Something had changed after they’d moved back to Malibu.

Besides that, Tony hadn’t attended a single social event since the move. And he’d loved Stark Tower in Manhattan. Why would he leave it behind? The final straw for Rhodey was when Tony’s birthday had passed without so much as a whisper. Rumors were spreading. Rhodey didn’t like believing the gossip magazines, but he was worried about his friend. The few times they had talked? Conversation was strained. He’d tried to talk to Pepper about his suspicions but Pepper said Tony was fine which was clearly a lie. And Pepper refused to say anything else on the matter. So there he was, calling Tony. Now that he had, his worry was only worsened.

“I lost track of time. That’s all. I’m a busy man.” Tony dismissed him with a wave of his hand.

“Well, if you aren’t too busy, we should meet up for a drink.”

“It’s noon.” Tony checked the time on his phone.

“Are you sure you’re okay because you never cared what time it was before.” Rhodey laughed.

“I really shouldn’t.”

“Come on, man. It’ll only be a few hours. We can catch up. It’s Saturday. Work can wait. And I need a drink.”

“Since when can work wait?” Tony couldn’t count the times that he’d been scolded for that exact attitude by Rhodey himself. 

“Since it’s Saturday and I have a rare day off.”

Tony gazed around the ruin of his desk. His stomach sank. He told Pepper that he was too busy to leave the house and now he was considering leaving it for Rhodey? She’d likely be angry at him later. Argue that it was her he didn’t want to spend time with. Why did Tony care anyway? She was mad at him all the time for one reason or another. At least now she’d have a reason outside of the nothing she was always upset about.

Guilt. Again. 

Pepper was a good woman and had been loyal to him when no one else was. They may not have been doing well together romantically but he still cared about her. Surely if he could explain that he was struggling, she’d understand. This place was his safe place.

As he overlooked his basement a chill ran through him. 

Or it had been his safe place.

His comfort had become a prison. His desk was a mess. The Iron Man suits stared at him. Judged him. The shattered monitor on the floor reminded him of what was probably an anxiety attack. His lungs tightened again. He refused to give into it. He needed fresh air. The basement was suddenly suffocating.

“Okay. Text me where and I’ll meet you in an hour.” Tony hung up before Rhodey could respond and before he could back out of it. He couldn’t talk here. He drank from the water bottle until there was nothing left. His Malibu home was suffocating him. Just like Stark Tower had before he’d left it behind for a change of scenery.

That was what he needed. And maybe even the scenery of a bar would do him some good. There was no comfort amongst his things, not today. Only the crushing reality that he was a broken man. A shell of his former self. Maybe spending some time with Rhodey was exactly what he needed to get out of his head.

“Another interruption? Honestly, how do you expect me to get any work done at this rate?” The woman walked forward confidently, annoyed as she wiped her grease coated hands on her blue jeans. Her mess of chocolate brown curls were pulled into a lazy bun. “More financial crap? No more negotiations. My rate is what it is and I’m not willing to change it. What’s that old adage? You get what you pay for?” Her hands were calloused and scarred from years of hard work. “Is it a problem? Because I will happily stop working. However, there are very few capable of replacing me, particularly with the ancient tools you expect me to use. Or is it the math you need help with?”

Hands on her hips, she awaited a response from the intimidating figures seated behind a long table at the end of the dull office space. They were the owners and operators of the Medical Engineering Development Corporation, the company that she now worked for. MedCo for short. The trio looked grim, like they were prepared to deliver bad news. But they always looked like that. Fake smiles over grim faces.

They’d introduced themselves several times but she didn’t bother addressing them by name. Didn’t seem important. A month prior Scarlett signed a contract to do work for the company against her better judgment and each day since they’d interrupted her work with a nonsense meeting. At first they’d been simple enough, discussions of expectations, schematics questions, delivery notifications. The most recent meetings were beginning to sound like threats. Luckily, she was not easily intimidated. In fact, she was usually the one doing the threatening.

“Scarlett,” the severe older woman spoke, her graying hair pulled tightly back into a bun. She sat between two men, all wearing similar false smiles, like they’d rehearsed before calling her in. Scarlett liked to imagine how that practice session had gone. The woman clasped her hands together one finger at a time and leaned against the table. Her face was pulled back tight from one too many surgical procedures designed to recapture wasted youth.

“Miss Damien, if you will.” Scarlett corrected, her smile fading into a confident glare. Despite her complaints about the constant interruptions, she had important matters to discuss with the trio. The night before she’d received some disconcerting updated specifications for the machines she’d been hired to design and build. Apparently, MedCo thought she was stupid. That she wouldn’t notice what they were doing.

“Fine.” The woman’s eye twitched. “Miss Damien, would you please be seated? We have important matters to discuss.”

“Yes, we do.” There would be no more pleasantries.

“Oh, you agree?” The man on the left, younger than his peers, adjusted his glasses and gazed curiously over the top of them.

“When you hired us…”

“We hired you. You refused to take the job without Scott Aaronson being hired alongside you. A highly unqualified mechanic at best.”

“I was talking.” Scarlett narrowed her eyes dangerously. “But since we’re arguing trivialities. When you offered me this job I was less than inclined to take it. Your reputation proceeds you. You’d blush if you heard the things they say about MedCo. But you have pursued me for years. I only agreed to this short contract because Mr. Aaronson convinced me it was worth the money. So I suggest you rethink your tone.” As the woman made to object, Scarlett spoke over her. “You will wait for me to finish.”

The trio behind the table leaned back in their seats, exchanging glances. Their plastic smiles were gone and they waited for Scarlett Damien to say exactly what was on her mind.

“Good.” Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a folded piece of paper that she’d printed the night before. “When you told me your goal was to revolutionize prosthetics, I was curious. When I found out that you were looking to create them with such precision that they were indistinguishable from the human body, I was intrigued. Intrigued enough to consider the work on my terms. I was to have access to all specifications and goals before the project began. I was to retain all rights to the pieces I create and design. I would have my pay. I would have my assistant. Most importantly, I would have unrestricted access to all supplies required.”

“Are you making a point, Miss Damien? Or simply reminding us of our duties. Should we remind you of yours?” The man on the left chuckled with a heavy Russian accent. His attempt to clear the tense air in the room fell flat.

Though innocent upon first glance, Scarlett had a reputation of her own and it was nothing short of ruthless. Yes, she was also renowned for her intellect and skill, but those in the right circles knew her for more nefarious reasons.

“My, my. Impatient, aren’t we?” Scarlett unfolded the paper and turned it toward them. “You know, I’ve been doing this for a long time. You are far from the first shady corporation I’ve worked for. I’m sure you won’t be the last either. If you’d like, I’ll teach you a few things I’ve learned from dealing with others just like you.” Approaching the table, Scarlett placed the paper upon it, turning it toward them. The trio squirmed in their seats. Scarlett delighted in their discomfort. When the woman in the middle finally took the paper, Scarlett placed her hand atop it so it wouldn’t budge. They already knew what was on the paper.

“Why would you be nervous during meetings with me if we’re all on the same team?” A rebellious curl fell in her face. She glared at the trio who glared back. “Do I intimidate you?” They shuffled in their seats. “I doubt that. As reputable as I am? What chance would I stand against an entire corporation?” Scarlett released the paper and the woman picked it up with an anxious glance. “What’s more likely is that you’re hiding something from me and you’re terrified that I’ll grow wise to it before my work is finished. These subtle changes you’ve insisted upon are clever. You thought I wouldn’t see the end result, I’m sure. I’m too obviously eager to be rid of you.”

“We don’t doubt your gift of perception, Miss Damien. But what do you propose we’re hiding? We’ve met every one of your absurd demands.” The man with the glasses adjusted them nervously despite the confidence in his tone.

“I don’t tolerate lies during business.” Scarlett straightened her posture. “And there’s only a handful of things I hate more than liars. One of those is liars who work for Stark Industries.” Tapping the table she gestured to the paper they held.

“The Stark Industries letterhead?” The woman scoffed. “This is what’s upset you? Honestly, how do you know it’s not simply a misplaced piece of paper? I’ve heard you were difficult to work with but this is ridiculous. Besides, why would this upset you? Stark Industries is a reputable company. Does it not comfort you?”

“Don’t speak to me like I’m another pathetic lackey you’ve employed. I’m not desperate for work. Quite the opposite. I took this job because the subject matter intrigued me. The work you proposed could have startling positive repercussions.” Scott had talked her into taking the job. It was too long a contract for her. She liked to move from place to place and most of what she agreed to was under the table and far more dangerous.

“What would it matter to you if we were affiliated with Stark?” Glasses adjusted nervously again.

“Ah, yes, I can hear the excuses already. Tony Stark has changed! Ever since his capture in the Middle East? He’s a new man! Dedicated to the people! No longer an arms dealer. No longer selling weapons to every terrorist organization offering a buck. He saw the light. He’s moved onto energy research! Sure. A poor attempt at shifting his media image. Tony Stark is a joke. And his company is a threat. If you think that this letterhead is the only thing that’s made me suspicious of you? Then you’re as foolish as the press that believes Tony Stark’s redemption arc. That memo is the final straw.” 

The trio said nothing but the tension skyrocketed.

“Which brings me to my ultimate point. You haven’t hired me to build what you said you wanted me to build. These are complex robotics. Robotics you plan on having dissected later by a team more willing than I to do rotten things so they can be weaponized without my consent or knowledge. You knew I’d never agree to design weapons for you, not for a company known for their work with arms manufacturing. Yes, I know that’s what your real business does. That and this design? It’s more than your run of the mill weapon. So, what drove you to it? Is Tony Stark outsourcing his genius now? Couldn’t continue on with his militant wet dreams with the US government and that Senator breathing down his neck? Something about owning unregistered weapons technology, if I recall. So he did what he always does. He handed the problem off to someone else. You. Who handed it off to me.” Scarlett approached the chair she’d been offered but did not take a seat.

“After finding this memo, which was accidentally forwarded to me by the way, I did some digging. Found out what you were actually planning. So don’t waste our time by denying it. I wish I could say I was surprised by how far your treachery extends. Biological warfare? Illegal experimentation? The kind that Josef Mengele would be proud of. You have a storeroom filled to the brim with Stark Industries weaponry that just happened to be left off of any of your shipping manifests. There were plenty more but I saw enough. Is Stark paying you with weapons to fund your acts of terror disguised as charity? I’ll have no part in it. I’m finished and so are you. Consider this my resignation. I’ve destroyed the designs, schematics, and prototypes. I’ll be taking the research I did on prosthetics with me. Lucky for me, there are plenty of companies willing to fund such work.” Scarlett took her seat, lazily crossing her legs. “I’m keeping my payment thus far and that’s that.”

Wiping lazily at her jeans, Scarlett waited for their response. She’d basically given them double middle fingers. The three exchanged glances. The woman in the middle leaned back in her chair, fiddling with her ancient cellphone.

“You are correct about a few things, Miss Damien.” She placed her cellphone to her ear. “You can send them upstairs.” She hung up and folded her hands on the table, narrowing her eyes. “You’re right about many things, actually. Consider us impressed. However, you have missed one very important detail. You’re cunning. More cunning than anyone gives you credit for. Your reputation preceded you, of course, but upon first glance, we had our doubts. You’re not what we pictured.”

Scarlett rolled her eyes. They weren’t the first to tell her that she didn’t meet their visual expectations of her qualifications. MedCo had anticipated her discovery of their motives. They’d prepared negotiations for such a task. They’d be hard pressed to find something that would sway her. She may have been a monster at times, but Scarlett had her convictions.

“I’m disappointed that you have lost interest in working with us.” The woman stood but the two men at her sides didn’t budge. They were all staring at her. “Your credentials are impressive. Graduated Summa Cum Laude from Cambridge. Notable medical work in Senegal that gave you a name common in the field of physics and engineering. But then you disappear unless you count a few arrests for drunken and disorderly conduct.”

“If you’re searching for something to blackmail me with then you’ll be hard pressed to find something. I know what I am.” Scarlett wasn’t easily threatened. She’d disappeared on purpose. Everything after Senegal was done with painstaking planning. Even the arrests were by design.

“Not fond of that sort of blackmail myself. Reputations are so very easy to destroy. But people like you hang their dirty laundry for the world to see or burn it with their bridges.” The woman chuckled and then walked to the end of the table to where a television was mounted upon the wall. The door behind Scarlett opened and a guard, clad in black, unarmed, stood waiting. Still, habit had her ready to grab the small caliber gun hidden in her boot beneath her jeans. “I find that reputations like yours are too difficult to maneuver. And as much as I would like to be rid of that smug face of yours, I can’t replace you. Not without getting Tony Stark himself and that’s out of the question.”

“If you know anything about my reputation then you would know you can’t keep me here. I won’t be strong-armed into doing your work. I’m not afraid of getting my hands dirty.” Bloody. She meant bloody. The older woman smiled and Scarlett knew this was bad news. What did they have against her? She racked her brain.

“Oh, we are well aware that we can’t fight you ourselves. Though you would find you are severely outgunned in this building. You see, I need you in one piece. If we wanted you dead then you would be already.”

Scarlett said nothing. The man behind her answered his vibrating phone. He nodded toward the trio and then hung up. They were all smiling.

Smirking, the woman looked deranged with power. Scarlett had never liked them. It was why she’d turned down their job offers for years. Scott was the only reason she gave it the time of day. He’d begged her to take it. A steady job. They could stay in one place for awhile. Scott much preferred when she wasn’t going around hunting and getting her hands dirty. Scott wasn’t exactly the type of boyfriend who ran to her aid when her life was in danger either. No, he was more the type to bail her out of jail and then remind her that no one else would put up with her bullshit.

That was what they had. She knew what would be on the television before they turned it on.

Scott. The only vulnerability she had to exploit.

Pulling her gun from her boot, Scarlett aimed it at the woman in front of the television. The woman flipped on the screen despite the threat. And just as she expected, Scarlett was met with security footage. The words ‘live feed’ blinked in the corner. In the center of the room, tied to a chair, was Scott. There were two armed men on either side of him. Other than being bound and gagged he looked unharmed. At least from what she could tell from the footage.

“You see, Scarlett, if you don’t finish the work you were hired to complete then your darling Scott will have two bullets in the back of his head. I’d put that gun down, dear, we both know that you won’t shoot me while we have him. It looks like you have a weakness in your armor after all.”

“Let him go. He has nothing to do with this.” Scarlett knew that wouldn’t work. Scott had always been there to get her out of trouble despite their differences. He was the only one who would put up with her behavior. She owed this to him.

“You’re right. He has nothing to do with this. He’s useless to us and useless to you. A failure of an engineer. Not even a third of what you are. Why bother with him? A man who holds you back from your potential? Do you use him to ground you? Or is it out of habit?”

“Let him go and I don’t shoot you between the eyes.” Scarlett wouldn’t dignify the insults with a response. She had tried to leave Scott a dozen times but she always came crawling back. He was right. She had nothing and no one else. The right thing to do here was obvious. She didn’t need Scott to tell her what it was.

“And if you do that then he dies. You’re a good shot, Scarlett, but there are four of us and one of you. That and the security cameras watching your every move. Be logical about this, Scarlett, dear. Put down the gun. Don’t let his blood be on your hands.” The woman held her hand out expectantly for Scarlett’s gun. 

She weighed her shitty options. She could just go for it but then Scott would die. And Scott’s life was worth far more than her own. MedCo had it all wrong. She was less than a third of the person Scott was. She was a stain on the universe. He was a light in it and the only reason she hadn’t gone completely off the deep end. He more than kept her grounded.

Turning her gaze to the screen she saw Scott trembling with fear. His usually neat blond hair was messy. How many times had he begrudgingly cleaned her wounds? Bandaged her up and warned her to stop? Bailed her out? Covered for her when she was hungover?

Scarlett owed it to him.

Emptying the gun’s clip, Scarlett tossed both the gun and the clip onto the table.

“That’s a good girl.” The woman clicked her tongue and nodded toward the man still standing silently guarding the door. “Take her back to her office. She has some lost time to make up for.” Scarlett stared at the floor in annoyance. She’d memorized the image of Scott in the room and tried to guess where he was being held. She’d find him, free him, and then put a bullet in all three of them. The guard approached her. “Oh, and about our financial agreement?” Scarlett glared at the woman. “You can forget about it. Your fee, dear? Is getting to see your boyfriend again and leaving this place with your life.”

Anything she said would get her into more trouble. The only one who would be punished for her snark, besides her, would be Scott and he didn’t deserve that.

The guard grabbed Scarlett’s arm roughly. She shoved him off and walked to the door on her own.

“Don’t bother. I know the way.” Just as she was about to leave, the Russian approached her.

“By the way? Stark Industries thanks you for your cooperation.” Sarcasm in that obnoxious Russian accent of his. It felt made up, to insult the people of Russia.

“Mr. Ivanov? You and Stark Industries can go fuck yourselves.”

Scarlett left the room and the guard followed closely behind her. He would keep her from making a break for it which would get Scott killed anyway. They knew her better than they let on. She wasn’t the type to run in with a gun and no plan if she didn’t have to. Everything she did had purpose and she wasn’t desperate yet.

Scarlett was no fool. More than one soldier had their eyes on her. There were cameras everywhere and without a weapon, she didn’t stand a chance of escape. Stopping in front of her office in the basement of the large MedCo facility, hidden deep in the South African desert, Scarlett turned to face her guard.

“I don’t suppose you have a cigarette?” Scarlett nodded to the door behind her. “Ignore the ‘highly flammable’ sign on the door. Can’t get any work done if I can’t have a smoke now and again.” The guard gave her a skeptical look with stern dark eyes. Much to her delight, he relented. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Scarlett pulled one free from the pack, slipped it behind her ear and then took another and slipped it between her lips. The guard told her exactly the sort of person he was with one simple action. “Thanks. Don’t suppose you’re hiding any scotch in there, huh?”

The guard didn’t share her sense of humor and reached past her to open the door to her office. He was done entertaining her.

“Aw, first date and not even a kiss goodnight? I thought we had something special.” Scarlett turned on her heels and walked inside her office. The door locked securely behind her and she twisted the cigarette between her fingers and overlooked the little left of her work that she hadn’t destroyed. 

She didn’t smoke. 

She set down the cigarettes on her desk. They would come in handy. It didn’t matter what they held against her. Scarlett would not be building sophisticated weapons for anyone.