You Look Lovely

(Afternoon April 13, 2023) The Missouri Attorney General just used an Emergency Rule to ban all gender-affirming care for people of all ages (yes, adults) in the state.

In order to receive any care, transgender minors and adults alike will have to:

have 3 years of documented “severe” dysphoria

18 months of state-mandated conversion therapy

have zero mental health conditions, most specifically anxiety, depression, or autism

require tests for “social contagion” for 15 years after beginning care

So I just want to say, for the record, the time of the corona virus pandemic was not a time when america came together.

This was a time when people hoarded toilet paper and sanitizing supplies either for themselves or to sell at absurd prices to the desperate people who didn’t get to the store soon enough during the shortages

This was a time when scared parents were sending their kids to finish school in the spring in plastic trash bags because they couldn’t think of any other way to possibly keep their families safe

This was a time when grocery store and retail and service workers were forced to keep working whether they wanted to risk their health or not because they couldn’t make rent otherwise and the people with enough privilege to have remote jobs tried to repay them with applause instead of fair wages

This was a time when nurses had the hold the hands of multiple dying people every day as their families watched their loved ones die over a video call because the hospital couldn’t risk having visitors

This was a time when city governments had to handle so many eviction hearings that they rented out convention centers and called in the national guard instead of doing a rent freeze to stop predatory landlords

This was a time when racism and police brutality were so unbearably horrible that people protested in the streets for months even though there was a god damn pandemic that our federal government wasn’t doing shit to stop and the cops were so mad that they were being asked to stop beating up black people that they were beating up everyone

This was a time when schools being forced to reopen in the fall or lose their federal funding had to draft templates for letters if a teacher or a staff person or a fucking child died from exposure to corona at school

This was a time when the president of the United states demanded that the cdc stop releasing data about all the people who were dying because of the warnings he ignored for months were making him look bad

This was a time when some state governments didn’t mandate masks and forced businesses to reopen because they didn’t want to pay unemployment to people trying to stay safe at home anymore

This was a time when Jeff Bezos was on track to be a fucking trillionare because everyone was ordering things on amazon instead of going to the store and the people he worked to death to get it didn’t see a single cent of it

This was a time when instead of providing homeless people with housing, we painted boxes on the ground to show homeless people how far away the had to be on the street to maintain social distancing

We did not come together to make cloth masks. Cloth masks represent nothing less than the absolute and utter failure of a nation’s government to inform and protect its citizens

This was not a time when we came together. This was a time when we survived, and not all of us made it.

This was a time when people casually talked about how many human lives the economy was worth without considering the evil that had just come out of their mouths.

This was a time when thousands of us died for profit and the ego of a cheating narcissists con man who scammed his way into the white house

This was a time that we survived. Most of us tried to do the right thing, stay home, limit trips to the store and socializing, wear a mask. And still, so many of us were lost. Thousands every day.

But that wasn’t a good enough reason for some people, for those among us who were too selfish to recognize the responsibilities we have toward one another as human beings.

This was not a time that we came together

This was a time that we survived

Not all of us made it

It’s true, Harry. You possess many of the qualities that Voldemort himself prizes. Determination, resourcefulness, and if I may say so, a certain disregard for the rules. Why, then, did the sorting hat place you in Gryffindor? Because I asked it to. Exactly, Harry, exactly! Which makes you different from Voldemort. It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.

Hi everyone!

I know that a lot of us are currently social distancing, in self-isolation, or in city/state/country mandated quarantine, so I wanted to put together a post about some things you can do to improve your mental health while you’re protecting your physical health.  Some of these have become sort of trendy lately, so apologies if you’ve heard them before, but I’m trying to approach making this list from a place of evidence-based lifestyle changes to improve mental health.

Meditation

Meditation reduces anxiety and depression and improves mood when done over a long period of time.  Start with a free app like Headspace or Calm to learn how to meditate and to get into the habit of meditating regularly.

Journaling

Journaling can help you let go of any shame, anxiety, fear, and anger you might be carrying around with you.  Write your thoughts down somewhere that’s private, whether that’s in a journal, a password protected blog, a locked file on your computer, or something else.  Try to let your emotions come out naturally instead of worrying about whether what you’re writing sounds good or not.

Gratitude

Along with journaling, making a habit of practicing gratitude is a good way to improve your overall mood, both in the short term and in the long term.  Write down the big and little joys in your life, write about the people you’re grateful for, write three good things that have happened to you that day, write thank you notes to people who have helped you (whether you intend to actually send them or not), write things that you like about yourself. Be as specific as you can.  In this difficult time, it can be hard to think of anything as being good, so it’s important to focus on the small things that are bringing you joy.

Mental Health Apps

If you’re already struggling with your mental health and need something a little more robust than journaling, you might consider trying out a mental health app.  There are a ton of them out there, but these are the ones that the Anxiety and Depression Association of America has vetted, with a rundown of their opinions on each one.

Exercise and sunlight

These next two are a bit obvious, so bear with me, but making sure you’re getting exercise and sunlight even when you’re isolated is really important to reduce the likelihood that you’ll become anxious or depressed.  If you’re still in a place where this is a possibility, taking a 20 minute walk outside once a day is a great way to address both of these (as far as we know, you should be fine leaving your house as long as you’re maintaining six feet of distance between you and other people).  If that’s not a possibility, sitting outside is the next best thing, followed by getting a light therapy lamp and taking vitamin D supplements.  In terms of home workouts, don’t pressure yourself to commit to doing an hour of yoga a day or to walk 10,000 steps around your house.  Just getting moving for 15 or 20 minutes is enough, whether that’s making sure to walk 250 steps every hour, doing a few bodyweight exercises when you wake up in the morning, doing a yoga/pilates video, playing an exercise video game, or something else.  A few exercise apps are offering month long free trials during the virus; FitOn, Forte Fit, The Daily Burn, Golds Gym, and CorePower Yoga are a few that I’ve seen recently.

Interpersonal interactions

Especially if you’re isolated alone during this period of time, making sure you get regular interpersonal interactions in is really important for your continued wellbeing. Videochat with friends and family using apps like Skype and Zoom, play games or watch movies online with friends, and just generally prioritize staying connected to the people who are closest to you.

Limit your social media

That said, try to limit your social media consumption during this time.  The doom and gloom headlines about the spread of the virus, the virtue signaling from your favorite influencers, and the overall feelings of hopelessness online aren’t conducive to good mental health. Consider muting people or accounts who are making you feel anxious during this time or trying to limit the amount of time you’re using social media apps in general. It’s important to stay informed, but being constantly bombarded with reminders that the world is in crisis isn’t helpful to anyone.

Be Kind to Yourself

This is more of a general one, and it encompasses a lot of things, but make an effort to be kind to yourself during this time. Get dressed in the morning even though you’re not going anywhere. Take baths using the bath bombs you’ve been saving or that special face mask.  Make your favorite foods that are a little too time-intensive to do during the week, or bake if you like doing that.  Don’t give in to the pressure to be productive and create something great during this time.  It’s okay if all you can do right now is play Animal Crossing.  You don’t need to discover the concept of gravity or write the next great novel just because you have some (forced) extra time on your hands.  You just need to get through to the other side as best as you can.  On the flip side, though, having goals that you’re working on every day can be good for your mental health, too.  Even if you’re working on a goal for five minutes a day, that adds up over time.

Some miscellaneous resources:

If you belong to a library, see if they offer Libby, Overdrive, or another platform for you to download eBooks.

If you’re looking to learn something new, check out Coursera, Kahn Academy, Class Central, and others offer classes in pretty much every topic you could imagine for free.  They’re easy to navigate and to understand.  Also check out Mango Languages if your library offers it, or a free language learning app like DuoLingo or Babbel.

Some video games are now free to encourage people to stay inside, including The Stanley Parable, Watch Dogs, Drawful 2, and more.

If you’re not on the podcast train already, now is a great time to start.  A few I like are Stuff You Should Know (well-researched, fun episodes that cover everything from science and history to pop culture and conspiracy theories), RadioLab (light hearted explorations into the philosophical implications of scientific topics), ReplyAll (”a show about the internet”), Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness (JVN talks with people. Enough said), Welcome to Night Vale (”HP Lovecraft does “A Prairie Home Companion”), and Within the Wires (an anthology series of found audio tapes in an alternate history version of Earth).

Many operas, orchestras, and theaters have put their performances for free online. The Met Opera is streaming it’s Live in HD performances. If you like theater, Playbill put together a list of recorded theater performances and where you can find them.  The Seattle Symphony and Wigmore Hall are streaming orchestral performances.  Many pop musicians are also doing mini concerts for their fans online, so check to see if your favorites are playing.

Online therapy. I wanted to mention this quickly because I know this is a stressful time for a lot of people and stress can create or exacerbate mental health problems.  Although in-person appointments are no longer available, many therapists have switched to online appointments.  If you’re struggling, please don’t let this deter you from seeking help.  If you’re in the US, check to see if your insurance (or parents’ insurance) cover mental health (or “behavioral health”).  Many of them do, making therapy much more affordable. 

If you’re in the US and struggling to figure out your financial situation during this crisis, this article from the New York Times has a lot of great information on how to find resources that are relevant to you.  You can also use the Benefit Finder can also help you identify the benefits that you are eligible to receive.