Pottypants Loser

and no, this isn’t me saying “write that messed up, disgusting thing” because while, yes, write it if it’s what you want (I myself enjoy writing dark fics, something I believe would be considered “vile” to a lot of people), this is me saying in a world of censorship and capitalism, ao3 really is a treasure.

the paci gag has a water bottle attachment that leads to my kiddy leash backpack, like a camelbak. i'm not even being forced or coerced into drinking the water and special juice my cg keeps putting in there, because no matter how full my bladder gets, my oral fixation is such that i keep on sucking at it.

i just keeps on getting fuller and fuller and i whine and mumble around my paci and tug at my leash towards the bathroom. i'm really full... and i keep letting little trickles out into my diaper. is it on accident or because it feels good? i'm not really sure. i'm kind of drunk from the special juice. my cg is still pulling me around to all the different stations at the event. i'm given a stuffed animal and i smile and press it to my face. my new buddy...

my cg tells me to use my words whenever i mumble or tug, and of course i can't. i'm a baby. my paci is just there to signify that. i keep holding it... i'm pressing my legs together and i keep leaning forward a bit to feel the fullness inside. it feels really nice, the little sharp bursts of sensation.

i'm gonna pee. my cg can tell from my stance. i'm frozen with my legs pressed together and i'm leaned over, hugging my new teddy, and they invite anyone who wants to to watch. they adjust my stance a little so my diapered front is more visible.

"it's okay, you've been good. you can let go," they whisper in my ear. and i do.

it feels really good to let all my potty out. i can hear it hissing into my diaper as it gets warm and wet and heavy. i let out a little moan.

my cg takes me aside and changes me, and even teases my little dick a little before taping me up in a fresh one. i'm a little overstimulated and overwhelmed, but in the good way that comes with the loss of control. "want your paci out?" they ask, just in case. i shake my head. i like it too much.

they take me home from the event. i fall asleep in the car on the way home and when we get there i wake up in that weird kind of mid-nap wakeup way where the inside of your mouth tastes like dust and your head feels like it's only halfway out of the water of sleep.

when we get home, they insist on taking the paci gag off because i've had it on too long, it's time for dinner, and the straps were kind of rubbing when i fell asleep with it on in the car. i whine a little, but they promise me my voice can stay off, so i let them take it away.

It's just another 'need' the grownups take care of for you...

Pressing the buzzy wand on the front of your Pampers just before a change

massaging your prostate or g-spot after bath time.

Rubbing your Huggies after slipping your PJs on.

It's just like burping you, just something that needs to be done to stop you from fussing too much.

It's done without excitement or fanfare, or any input from you. It usually is over in a few seconds.

Years of being a responsible, put-together adult and YOU get to remove all that and reduce him to a docile pamper-bottomed mess. Getting him to the point where he’s desperate, CRAVING to be your whimpering little baby despite his outward appearance is a level of submissiveness few are able to experience. He may be a big strong man, but underneath all that you know who he really is:

(a work of md/lb fiction. all characters are consenting adults!!! yall idk why im just in my mommy feels rn. i just want to play in a garden with a lil guy!!!)

i woke up first, sun pouring into the bedroom.

i looked over to see sam still asleep, hair a mess, eyelashes fluttering, drool pooling under his mouth. his favorite teddy bear, bean, held tightly in his arms.

the juxtaposition of those strong, tattooed arms against his cute little dinosaur onesie and teddy bear drove me crazy.

my heart seized when i looked at him. my little guy. the fact that he trusted me enough to be so little, so vulnerable, so reliant on me made me melt with affection.

i kissed the top of his head, deciding to let him sleep in a bit longer while i cooked breakfast. saturdays were for cartoons and pancakes. a very important ritual in our home.

soon, coffee was brewing and the windows were open, letting in sunshine and fresh air and the sound of birds chirping.

i poured myself a cup of coffee, then got sammy’s sippy cup ready. he liked orange juice in the morning, so i poured his cup full of juice and put it in the fridge.

i got started on making pancakes when i heard a sleepy voice say “mommy?”

i looked up to see my boy shuffling into the kitchen in his onesie. his diaper was so swollen between his legs that it was forcing him to waddle. he was still holding his teddy, bean.

“hi baby,” i said, pulling him into my arms for a hug. my hand naturally started to run down his back, towards his very squishy diaper. i gave the padding a squeeze, causing him to whine and bury his face in my neck. “uh oh, the sog monster visited someone last night. you need a change soon, huh?”

he whined again. “not yet, mommy. bean said i could wait.”

“oh, bean said so, huh? is bean the one changing you when you leak in that cute onesie of yours?”

he blushed. “no…”

“bean, respectfully, you have no authority here,” i said in a silly voice, addressing bean. this made sam giggle and blush even more.

i rubbed his back in a soothing rhythm. “how’d you sleep, sweet boy?”

“good, mama.”

“you sleep so well when you have a soggy diaper against your lil boy parts, don’t you?”

“heyyyyy.” sam covered his face with his hands, but he couldn’t hide his blush.

“it’s true. mommy’s noticed.”

“okay, maybe it’s a little true. it just feels so good n comfy.”

i reached down to cup the front of his diaper and give it a few little pats. i could already feel him getting hard through the squishy padding. he would have to wait until i helped him with that.

“you were a drooly boy too when i woke up.” i told him, wiping his mouth gently with my thumb. “snorin and droolin like a little monster.”

“‘m not a monster, mom!”

“could’ve fooled me.” i ruffled his curly hair. “you ready for your morning sippy, lil monster?”

the promise of his sippy cup was enough for him to nod sweetly and say “can i watch adventure time while i drink it?”

“how do we ask, lil one?”

he blushed. “please?”

“very good. of course you can, go get comfy on the couch with bean.”

i started the pancakes, watching from the kitchen as sam laid on the couch, half drinking his juice, half playing with bean while cartoon network played on the tv.

“sammy would you like chocolate chip, blueberry, or plain pancakes?”

he paused his drinking. “blueberry please.”

i finished cooking the pancakes, and brought over two plates. one regular plate for me, and one dinosaur plate for sam. i had cut his pancakes up into little bite sized pieces.

we sat on the floor, using the coffee table as our breakfast table. i sipped my coffee, watching sam giggle and drink his juice.

after we finished eating, i gathered up the dishes.

“screen time’s over, baby. would you like to sit in the sun room while mommy does these dishes? and then i can get that soggy diaper changed?”

the sun room was our favorite room in the house- almost all windows and full of plants, it let in so much sun and light, it felt like being in a magical garden.

in the center of the sunroom was a playmat and a big basket of sam’s toys. dragons and dinosaurs and wooden blocks. all low-stimulating and comforting.

“yeah mommy, i’ll go play.” sam agreed, plopping down on his tummy in the sunroom.

from the kitchen, i watched as he started to build a tower out of blocks and play with his little dragons. it looked like he was building a moat around it.

the sunlight illuminating my sweet boy and his magical kingdom he was building. i wished i could freeze this moment and escape to it whenever i wanted.

i finished up the dishes, and grabbed the stuff for a diaper change, making my way back to the sunroom.

when i walked in, sammy was squatting in the corner, eyes squeezed shut as he softly grunted. i knew that pose. i leaned in the doorway, unable to hide my smile as i watched.

a few more grunts, and then he reached back to curiously pat the back of his diaper, weighed down by his mess. when he saw me in the doorway, he blushed.

“mom, stop.” he hid his face, blushing like crazy. he sat down on his knees, careful not to squish his messy diaper.

“what did you do, lil guy?” i asked him, laying out the changing mat and getting all my supplies ready.

“nothing,” he said quietly. bean was back in his hands, and he was squeezing him tightly.

“nothing? that didn’t look like nothing to me. can you try again? or do i need to ask bean?”

his cheeks burned and he rubbed his eyes. “i pooped.”

“you pooped in your diaper? that’s okay, little bug, that’s what they’re for, remember?”

he nodded, standing up and walking over to hug me. he buried his face in my boobs. it seemed he was having some big feelings about going number 2 in his diaper, but i knew how to handle this.

“baby, i have an idea! how about we change you outside in the garden? does that sound nice?”

he nodded, rubbing his eyes again. “yes please mommy.”

“that’s my lil adventurer!”

i laid the picnic blanket down in a sunny spot in the grass, then put the changing mat on top of it. a light breeze blew through the garden as i helped sam lay down on the mat. bean was glued to his hand.

he kicked his legs up for me while he laid back, eyes closed, enjoying the sun.

“isn’t it nice out here?” i asked, undoing the snaps on his onesie.

he nodded “mom, after this can i help you water the plants? and maybe we can make bug houses again?”

“that sounds like a perfect day, lil bug.”

i shimmied the onesie up his waist, revealing his very full diaper.

“oh my goodness, it’s a miracle you didn’t leak! next time, mommy really needs to change you first thing in the morning.”

i undid the tapes on the diaper and opened it up to inspect the damage.

“it was a big messy day, huh?”

“sorry.” sam blushed.

“don’t apologize, silly. i love changing you, no matter how stinky.”

sam giggled as i folded up the messy diaper and got to work on cleaning him up.

i half had the mind to turn on the garden hose and wash him off wild-boy style, but he was being so sweet n soft, i didn’t want to disrupt that.

“all clean!” i announced. “now, sam, im trusting you to be a big kid today and wear a pullup. does that sound reasonable to you?”

he nodded. “i’m big!”

i decided not to remind him that he just made a poopy diaper five minutes ago. instead i just ruffled his hair, and helped him slide on a pullup.

“such a big boy.” i admired, patting his cute lil bottom. “let’s go get dressed, kiddo. and then should we go make bug houses?”

reminders that i am supposed to be adult are unwelcome; they break down the fiction, disrupt my capacity to engage. while in the space, let us agree that i am a child, i am incapable, i do require care and monitoring and guidance and discipline. that i might find this distressing, embarassing and difficult to accept has no bearing on the situation. blithe ignorance of how uncomfortable, shy or embarassed i am- because in their eyes this is all perfectly natural and normal- is a really wonderful dynamic. but if this actually is gross, nonsensical, unfitting to my being a grown woman, then the entire fictive dynamic no longer makes sense to me, and i'm left more annoyed than humiliated.

when i think more carefully, i think i do see room for me to enjoy intentionally cruel humiliation within the space, but it has to be exist within the framework of 'dealing with a child' and must not disrupt that fiction (note that none of this need align with how the dominant thinks children should actually be treated, obviously). it makes no sense to mock a child for dressing childishly; that's normal!

a little closer

perfect

"P- please change my diaper Mommy..."

"Why do I need to change your diaper?"

"Be...because I wet myself Mommy..."

"And why did you wet yourself dear?"

"Because I'm a little dumb baby who can't make it to the potty..."