josh: look, i hate listening to people's dreams. it's like flipping through a stack of photographs. if i'm not in any of them and nobody's having sex, i just don't care.

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@westwingincorrect
josh: look, i hate listening to people's dreams. it's like flipping through a stack of photographs. if i'm not in any of them and nobody's having sex, i just don't care.

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abbey: just give up before you embarrass yourself.
bartlet: oh no, i never give up before i embarrass myself.
sam: i don't like your accusatory tone.
toby: well, i'd use a different tone, but i'm trying to accuse you of something.
josh: i’m just saying that the plan was genuinely dumb, as many of our plans are, i now realize.
sam: what about your whole speech about "i have the grace of a falcon, and i’ll be in and out like a demon’s whisper"?
donna: yeah, you stood up on your chair and said that speech for everybody.
josh: it was a good speech. it was very persuasive, but i regret it now.
josh: i hate teenagers.
zoey: oh yeah, we’re the worst!

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leo: why are your shoes wet?
josh: there was this huge puddle
leo: but why did you step in it?
josh: it was a huge puddle
leo:
leo: you are 36 years old.
josh: my breakfast consisted of gummies——made with real fruit——and you're trying to tell me i’m not eating right?!?
cj: you know, if i were a divorced older woman, i would take everything from my ex-husband. suffer, you cheating bastard!
cj: *laughs* oh, i can't wait to be divorced.
bartlet, talking about josh: leo, have we created a monster?
leo, without skipping a beat: yes, i've been saying that for years!
sam: why would sally sell seashells by the seashore?
toby: ...
sam: i mean, it’s a terrible location for a seashell stand.

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toby: every year, i give sam the same present i give everyone: a crisp $20 bill. and every year, he gets me something thoughtful and personal. it makes me furious.
stanley: alright, josh, i've got a few questions for you.
josh: you got questions? for me? i feel terrible, i didn’t get you anything.
sam: my father is not a man. he is a one-star yelp review come to life.
donna: i have the three things that people want. i’m hot and i’m smart.
josh: that’s two things.
donna: no, it’s three. i count hot twice. i mean, [gestures to self] come on.
donna: i may or may not die young.
donna: i haven’t decided yet.

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sam: we don't want any trouble.
josh: i do.
lou: you're making irrational decisions right now because you're dealing with leo's death and you're running away from your feelings.
josh: yeah, so what? i hate my feelings!