Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you

all these excellent books come from some random penguins house?

the problem with me is that I want to have fun and enjoy life

telling your online friends "wait there i'm coming" is funny regardless of the distance that you are from them. if they're within driving distance it has the humor of being a real possibility and if they're overseas it's funny because how are you getting there. especially if it's a limited time event. one of my personal favorites is saying i'm walking in their general direction

i feel like a lot of discourse around identities could just be boiled down to “you could not pay me to care about this”

therians? this doesn’t affect me in the slightest. weird transgenders? okay who cares. contradictory labels? none of my business. neopronouns? it takes 5 seconds of my time to google how to use a pronoun set this is like minimal brain work. bi lesbians? i don’t get how that works but the world will keep spinning. normalize minding your own business

it's a beautiful evening to microwave silverware

“This character is dead in canon” to you. They’re dead in canon to you. To me they’re fine

“This character is dead in canon” then explain to me why they’re still running around and living rent free in my head.

give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day, teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you

I swear to God I am so tired of this meme. You guys need to leave Wonderwall alone, seriously by now you should’ve somehow realized what you gotta do

i don’t fucking believe this. i don’t believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now

okay but what if i believed in myself really really hard

i sewed my first zipper yesterday i can do anything

The best way to get good at sewing quickly is to do patterns way out of your skill range. I'm not talking about making your wedding dress the first time you see a machine, but taking on harder projects with the understanding they might not turn out well is like, how ya learn buds.

im suffering from a horrendous disease called being in your 20s