Went Looking

The item “write about what travel has done to me” has been scrawled on my to-do list for a long time. It was meant to be a post to force a bit of breath into my old blog, which I rarely updated after returning from Peru. I created that blog specifically for my time in Peru, however, and updating it felt a bit strained. Moreover, what has travel done to me? More than a post can say. I intend to…

We scaled the Marin headlands in our rental car, seeking an icon—the bridge, what else? Midway up, we hurriedly parked and peered toward the Golden Gate, which was obscured by a thick, blue grey white trundling mass. This sea above a sea, it calmly rushed over hills, over water, toward the city. “Sorry!” my friend said. “You can’t even see the bridge!” No sorry. Despite the fog, because of the…

I was never truly bored in Finland. All through my computer-less months, when I was home by myself after Finnish class while friends were still at work, despite multiple re-reads of the English books on hand (luckily I can read Harry Potter endlessly), my oft solitary afternoons weren’t dull. I lived in Helsinki, see, and it’s too pleasant for boredom. Behind our apartment sprawled Kaivopuisto.…

I am not an optimist. Tell me, “everything will work out,” and I will reply, “it doesn’t have to.” I just think that people usually find ways to cope with what comes. “But life eventually happens as it should!” There is no “should,” only, “this is how it is.” Thus, I am a planner. I try to hold the reins and steer my life as I can. I fight passivity and simply accepting whatever comes, as it…

The cold had entered my bones. The heavy mist swirled in the nearby sky above us as we overlooked the village of Cancha Cancha from our vantage point at the foot of the ascent to Pachacutec Pass. Rocks rose from the ground; smoke rose from the rocks. We approached the smattering of houses and began chatting with a young boy who spoke Spanish, though it was like mine, somewhat grammatically…

On April 24, 2009, I attended a Patrick Wolf concert in St. Petersburg. For those who aren’t familiar, Patrick is an English musician who is difficult to pigeonhole in a specific genre. He plays a wide variety of instruments and has a rather devoted fan base, which includes me. I considered myself very lucky: this was his first concert in the city and the venue was a short five-minute walk from…

Travel breeds perspective and perspective breeds empathy. This growth can be spurred in a number of ways, one of which is living as a minority, albeit temporarily. For me at least, this was important. Though I am female, I am also white, heteronormative, and my family is upper-middle class. I am not a member of a minority group in the United States. And though my experience in East Africa is a…

Many of the places I love are situated firmly in the upper portions of this world. The sunlight is, somehow, infectious, more acute. Euphoric white nights are nothing short of wondrous. The chill in the lighter air is invigorating. Autumn approaches quickly. Wrap that scarf around your neck, comfort comes. I’m off to Maine for my first marathon. For what encompasses all possible emotions better…

That time right before dusk when the strange air swirls around you presents possibilities mysterious, romantic, dark, exhilarating, and final. Yet now, only this small gap of time and space matters. Nothing else because there is only this, this. This moment, it exists and it is dying. You know it and you don’t care. Throw your arms high and wide and laugh! You exist, solidly, in this instant, and…

If you venture elsewhere, almost inevitably you must leave. You may return, but your actions were irreversible, cannot be undone, for the place you left never will be exactly the same for you again. Time passes, things change, you change. And when you love an experience, a place, or just simply know that it has shaped you, departure feels like doors closing slowly. The world has many, and they…

2013 was the year when the ache intensified. It was hardly existent in January—I came away from three months in Peru and Bolivia happy and excited, and the glow took time to fade. But, life happens, and the realization that 2013 would be the first year since 2005 that I wouldn’t make it abroad settled in me like a rough stone. Even so, I traveled far across the United States and both new and old…

Among my first visions of Kenya: darkness, potholes, and eerie stick structures illuminated by the bouncing headlights. I really wasn’t sure what they could be. The tarp draped over them glared back through the night. I arrived in Muguga, where I was spending the summer as an intern. For the first few days in the guesthouse, I was alone. It got dark around 6pm, so after work I sat in my room and…

Let’s be honest, some places are more stunning than others. Of course, I haven’t been to all of the world’s myriad stunning places, but I am sure southwestern Bolivia is up there. Perhaps I had stepped into an impossibly life-like painting, or perhaps this is possible.

It’s cold, it’s dark, and I’ve been standing outside for almost eight hours. My friend Sara is sitting on my feet in an attempt to provide some smidgen of additional warmth on top of the thin canvas of my Chuck Taylors. My thin, white jacket – more cardigan than coat – is meaningless at this point. I’m fidgeting, bouncing, and my poor left arm has turned partially blue. Crazy girls standing out…

I have been thinking of Estonia recently. Lately, the few times I’ve mentioned it, I’ve been faced with bemused replies of “Estonia?” My disappointment is misplaced. They are the ones who are missing out. I’ve only spent one day in Estonia, in Tallinn. I took a ferry from Helsinki, where I was visiting a host of friends for spring break during my semester abroad in Russia. Not entirely content…

Alone, at 5am, I stepped off the bus. Alone, I took the U-Bahn to Friedrichstraße. Russia, Estonia, twice Finland, Austria, Slovakia, Hungary, and the Czech Republic were behind me and Berlin was my final destination. A month of classes, and then my sojourn abroad would be complete. By now, I was used to drifting. I became a walker, a wanderer, gliding down endless streets, avenues, alleys as…