comfort in debauchery

i think if i focused really really hard i could grow a leaf

used to be when you fucked in a car you could always be sure that the car wouldn't know. thats not the case anymore. modern cars know when you're fucking in them. how could they not? maybe you can avoid this by simply turning the car off. maybe that's naive of me. i just don't know. it's hard to know these things

going to the corner store to get more corners

It makes sense that dog organs can’t be used inside people, because their organs are weird and no good. But in my opinion, our organs should work inside them, because our kidneys and livers and stuff are straight up normal as hell and good

i heard my nephew got enslaved by cave bugs

wait to post about this until you’ve confirmed it

sorry

lets touch our antennae together. i don’t care anymore. i just wanna feel you. i don’t care that it’s not allowed or it’s weird. fuck the colony. let’s go off into the long grass where no one can find us and touch antennae. just you and me

season 2 of heated rivalry should start with both of them dying in a freak plane crash and then pivot into a nature documentary about ants

bald guy wearing a bald cap. Do we know why?

Covering blowhole

do NOT kill a bug loose in your home. do NOT release it outside. mail it to me P.O. box 453 in LA CA. i teach them circus tricks. if my training doesn’t work i will eat it

I’ve recently taken a stand-up comedy apprentice. He's a peasant boy from the local village. He is strong like an ox, and proud, but the stage will break him

ever since I was a little girl I knew I never wanted to tell anyone anything

good morning i feel like seven dollars

just dropped out of harvard butterfly school