BORN ANNOYING [1999]

james spader and deborah unger for detour magazine, september 1996.

Gesaffelzine: Blindfolded Mannequins

A month ago, our soulmate was hospitalized after vomiting blood. The diagnosis that followed was stage 3c stomach cancer, with fluid buildup in the brain.

After talking it through together, they have chosen to focus on quality of life rather than aggressive treatment, and we’re honoring that choice completely. What we’re asking for now is help making the time we have left as calm and steady as possible.

They were working before this, now they’re on disability leave, and we’re both getting by on disability benefits, which doesn’t stretch far. Our water was recently shut off, and we’re about $2,000 in debt from that alone. Groceries and dog care are a daily stress. They need RSO (cannabis oil) every morning and night to manage nausea, and that cost adds up fast. We also need to figure out speaking to a death doula and make sure that we have care set up in that regard.

On top of the day-to-day, we’re facing real transportation costs; trips for pain management treatment, grief counseling, and the practical work of getting affairs in order. None of these things are optional right now.

If you’re able to give, it goes directly toward keeping the lights on, food on the table, and keeping them comfortable and making sure they have the space and time to spend with their siblings and friends.

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We also offer sliding-scale astrology coaching, and we run a Plex server with free movies and shows (we take requests) as a thank-you or trade for anyone who wants it.