Faceless Young Woman

@steddie-week

[Image description: An illustration in the style of a religious icon/tarot card of a redheaded man wearing a light blue jumper (Martin Blackwood). He is holding a bloody knife as though it were a holy relic. There’s a tear running down his face, and he’s gesturing towards a group of eyes as though calling down their vengeance. There is a silver halo with grey clouds behind his head, along with a light blue halo in the style of a spider web.]

Examples would be I was terrified of pinecones as young as 3 because I thought they were visually disturbing and dangerous. So, at the age of 4/5, we were in a park and I handed my mum my jacket so I could use the public loo. She proceeded to fill the pockets, sleeves and hood with pinecones.

I had a meltdown in the middle of a forest. I screamed and collapsed and i was told I was overreacting.

Now, this isn't good behaviour for an adult for any child.

But when you're an undiagnosed autistic, you begin to learn that your sensory pain doesn't matter. It's too much, and needs to be ignored.

Holding the door closed whilst the toilet flushed, another sensory pain was one done to me "for laughs". I was told it wasn't that big of a deal and I needed to grow up.

But they missed the most important part of the rule. Only neurotypical people who are doing this to an autistic person can play the Kidding Card. Autistic people can't. Autistic people are held fully accountable when they make someone uncomfortable.

They end up constantly in trouble, disliked by everyone, and often even risk being physically attacked.