Hello again
Wow, itโs been a hot minuteย ๐ถ
Itโs been almost two years since I was last on social media but since it looks like tumblr might actually be on the verge of dying for real this time I couldnโt resist the urge for one last hoorahย ๐ย
Iโm not sure how often Iโll be on. Itโs always been the site Iโve found easiest to handle but Iโm struggling a lot more with health and tbh itโs been a relief not to have to deal with the extra strain of social media. On the flip side itโs been lonely. I canโt talk, write or read much these days so thereโs every chance Iโll disappear without warning again for another 2 years, or maybe will only get to post every couple of weeks/months or whatever, but this has always been my online home and itโll doubtlessly call to me for as long as both I and it are around :P
So, I have news; unexpected, weird news but news none the less. Remember the last time I came back after an extended period of time and was like, hi guys, guess what? Iโm gay AF now and my entire life revolves around the most embarrassing crush in the world?โ Well Iโve gone through a few more unexpected changes in the past few years ๐
After all the years it took to accept that I was a man, imagine my shock and horror at the pink blob looming at the other end of the horizon ๐ฉต๐ฉท
If youโre surprised to hear I came out as bigender earlier this year then youโre not alone, no one could be more surprised than I was! ๐ค I *really* want to talk more about this, itโs all new to me and Iโm still coming to terms with this change but as scary as itโs been I do feel like itโs made me feel like a more well-rounded, balanced person.ย
Itโs taking some getting used both to living in pink mode and trying to balance these two distinct sides. I pushed back against that unexpected pink blob so hard in absolute fear of it that I think I burnt out blue mode for a little while, but thatโs ok. Itโs not like itโs going anywhere.
As for pink mode, I took time to work out what this really is. I donโt want to be complicated or confusing, iโm terrified of being misunderstood and used as a weapon to hurt others. I still have a lot of unanswered questions but what I *do* know is that itโs not something that was there before. I wasnโt mistaken or overcompensating. Iโm not detransitioning, Iโm not taking anything back; I was 100% male and now Iโm not, just like my attraction used to be fixed 100% towards women, until it wasnโt. Sometimes the most unexpected changes happen.
Damn this has been a scary ride and I think opening up on here is maybe the scariest part yet. Iโve been here for *so long* ๐ฉต๐ฉท
So yeah, thatโs mostly whatโs new with meโฆย
No actually, there are a few other things I guess. Iโve gotten into music composition and, accidentally, bodybuilding?? Iโve explored a LOT of new fandoms (Iโm gonna have to do a mega-dump about those though since I am still the massive piece of fandom trash I always was so not everything changes, I guess!) and iโve even finally played a Xenoblade game myself thanks to the excellent and patient tutoring of my gorgeous girlfriend! ๐
Sadly I have to report that my entire life still revolves around *that show*ย ๐ซย and somehow Iโve only gotten gayer, itโs just that these days Iโm a 2-way gay, heaven help me and my damn shippy heart ๐คฌ๐ Feeling very sapphic these days ๐๐ฉท
Anyway if I donโt wrap this up and post it then I never will so, yeah - hello again tumblr, - oh how Iโve missed ye!ย ๐ฅฐ
And if you donโt mind, I like just going by Stringer these days ๐ค๐ฉต๐ฉท
Nice to meet you, again ๐ค
