Hello again
Wow, itβs been a hot minuteΒ πΆ
Itβs been almost two years since I was last on social media but since it looks like tumblr might actually be on the verge of dying for real this time I couldnβt resist the urge for one last hoorahΒ πΒ
Iβm not sure how often Iβll be on. Itβs always been the site Iβve found easiest to handle but Iβm struggling a lot more with health and tbh itβs been a relief not to have to deal with the extra strain of social media. On the flip side itβs been lonely. I canβt talk, write or read much these days so thereβs every chance Iβll disappear without warning again for another 2 years, or maybe will only get to post every couple of weeks/months or whatever, but this has always been my online home and itβll doubtlessly call to me for as long as both I and it are around :P
So, I have news; unexpected, weird news but news none the less. Remember the last time I came back after an extended period of time and was like, hi guys, guess what? Iβm gay AF now and my entire life revolves around the most embarrassing crush in the world?β Well Iβve gone through a few more unexpected changes in the past few years π
After all the years it took to accept that I was a man, imagine my shock and horror at the pink blob looming at the other end of the horizon π©΅π©·
If youβre surprised to hear I came out as bigender earlier this year then youβre not alone, no one could be more surprised than I was! π€ I *really* want to talk more about this, itβs all new to me and Iβm still coming to terms with this change but as scary as itβs been I do feel like itβs made me feel like a more well-rounded, balanced person.Β
Itβs taking some getting used both to living in pink mode and trying to balance these two distinct sides. I pushed back against that unexpected pink blob so hard in absolute fear of it that I think I burnt out blue mode for a little while, but thatβs ok. Itβs not like itβs going anywhere.
As for pink mode, I took time to work out what this really is. I donβt want to be complicated or confusing, iβm terrified of being misunderstood and used as a weapon to hurt others. I still have a lot of unanswered questions but what I *do* know is that itβs not something that was there before. I wasnβt mistaken or overcompensating. Iβm not detransitioning, Iβm not taking anything back; I was 100% male and now Iβm not, just like my attraction used to be fixed 100% towards women, until it wasnβt. Sometimes the most unexpected changes happen.
Damn this has been a scary ride and I think opening up on here is maybe the scariest part yet. Iβve been here for *so long* π©΅π©·
So yeah, thatβs mostly whatβs new with meβ¦Β
No actually, there are a few other things I guess. Iβve gotten into music composition and, accidentally, bodybuilding?? Iβve explored a LOT of new fandoms (Iβm gonna have to do a mega-dump about those though since I am still the massive piece of fandom trash I always was so not everything changes, I guess!) and iβve even finally played a Xenoblade game myself thanks to the excellent and patient tutoring of my gorgeous girlfriend! π
Sadly I have to report that my entire life still revolves around *that show*Β π«Β and somehow Iβve only gotten gayer, itβs just that these days Iβm a 2-way gay, heaven help me and my damn shippy heart π€¬π Feeling very sapphic these days ππ©·
Anyway if I donβt wrap this up and post it then I never will so, yeah - hello again tumblr, - oh how Iβve missed ye!Β π₯°
And if you donβt mind, I like just going by Stringer these days π€π©΅π©·
Nice to meet you, again π€
