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DESSERT PERSON with Claire Saffitz
Mhmm.
Go choke on your superiority complex.
With love,
Lo
It's funny, but a year ago I was crushed, absolutely shattered by what felt like everything crumbling down on top of me. I didn't think I'd ever feel better while knowing that thought was fatalist and mostly the heartbreak talking.
But I'm doing good right now. I love my job and feel more secure than ever, I have my small collective of friends who I don't feel anxious over when they tease me for fucking up or being a dumbass, and for the first time in years I have a good relationship with my siblings at the same time and Joey is coming to stay and visit for a few days next weekend.
Time really does heals all wounds I guess. It's nice.
In today’s political environment, where do you look for solace?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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ONE OF OUR INSTRUCTORS ACCIDENTALLY GOT PAID $787,000 THIS MONTH IM WHEEZING, OMFG PAYROLL
A PAYROLL EMPLOYEE ENTERED 123 INSTEAD OF 1 SO HE GOT PAID 123 TIMES WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO
this is the rare $786,708 payday. reblog to receive more money than you were expecting on your next paycheck 💫
Ya know, just in case lol
Reblog this within 10 seconds and unexpected extra money will cum to you this week
The money will do what now
I don’t care how the money gets here tbh
Same place, different day.
Awesome color study
fantasy adventure genre vs survival horror genre
antoni freaking out because of a corgi and ignoring everything else for the rest of the episode is honestly me
ONE OF OUR INSTRUCTORS ACCIDENTALLY GOT PAID $787,000 THIS MONTH IM WHEEZING, OMFG PAYROLL
A PAYROLL EMPLOYEE ENTERED 123 INSTEAD OF 1 SO HE GOT PAID 123 TIMES WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO
this is the rare $786,708 payday. reblog to receive more money than you were expecting on your next paycheck 💫
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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hot take pride and prejudice isn’t a story about two people who hate each other getting married despite their hate. pride and prejudice is a story about a rich, privileged guy getting called on his privilege and toxic masculinity by the woman he admires and then actually listening to her, taking steps to correct his own toxic masculine behavior, and using his wealth and privilege to rectify the “missing stair” problem he caused by allowing a predator to operate unchecked in his community. he specifically takes action, pays money, and does work without asking for credit or using it to point-score, because he realizes that his job as a privileged person is to protect vulnerable people, especially women. and THAT is what changes his crush’s mind about him, because he does the work and becomes a person she can respect, love, and be proud of. thanks for coming to my TED talk
I have never heard the plot and message of P&P articulated so accurately. We wonder why Austen is still so relevant today and Pride and Prejudice has always enjoyed such consistent appeal, this is it, this is why!
for brittonie
a guide to homestuck classes
Prince: Imma do the thing
literally everyone in a 2km radius: please please don't do the thing
Prince, covered in blood and surrounded by burning corpses: too late
---
Knight: Imma do the thing
Someone: No, don't do it
Knight: dude we are surrounded, wounded and have about a 99.9% chance of dying painfully, if you have a better option then I'm all ears
---
Thief: Imma do the thing
Someone: No, don't do it
Thief: I don't think you understand just how funny it is that you think you have a say in this
---
Heir: Imma do the thing
Someone: No, don't do it
Heir, relieved: oh thank goodness now i don't have to
---
Witch: Imma do the thing
Someone: Oh thank god, you're finally doing it, we've been holed up in here just waiting for you to do it and you never would
Witch:
---
Seer: Imma do the thing
Someone: No, don't do it
Seer: Excuse me I have been planning for the better part of a DECADE I have like 4 backup plans I have this entire thing down to a SCIENCE how DARE you tell me I shouldn't do this
---
Page: Imma do the thing
Someone: No, don't do it
Page, on the verge of tears: y-yeah you're right
---
Mage: Imma do the thing
Someone: What thing??
Mage: //has already left//
Someone: shit
---
Someone: hey, so uh--
Sylph: you did the thing, didn't you
Someone: yes
Sylph: you failed, didn't you
Someone: ...yes
Sylph: knew it
---
Maid: //does the thing//
Someone: now normally I'd tell you not to do that but since it made a lot of things go right for once I'll let it slide
---
Rogue: So you want me to do the thing
Someone: Yes
Rogue: Fully realizing that this thing is incredibly dangerous and could potentially hospitalize us
Someone: Do you have a problem with that?
Rogue: No, no, I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page
---
Bard: ;o)
Someone: what the fuck
Bard: //does the thing//
Someone: WHAT THE FUCK
Posted with permission from the artist @ByTwistwood. Story by Matthew Wisner.
Mr Rogers A+ Parenting
i’m not crying you’re crying

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Evans and Ruffalo find out with BuzzFeed if they would have survived Thanos’ snap and answer the question: Which is your favorite MCU dynamic duo?
Fleur Delacour had the most impressive performance in the First Task of the Triwizard Tournament, imo, and it is a Crime that she came in last place. Like, sure, maybe what she did took awhile and it wasn’t flashy, but imo she did by far the most impressive, difficult, and most humane piece of magic.
Like, there’s this pissed off dragon mother, right? It’s been boxed up, taken to this strange place, then stuck in a noisy arena where its eggs are being threatened. This dragon is probably Unbelievably scared and angry.
It can take 4-8 adult wizards working in tandem to Stun a dragon, especially a pissed off one, but Fleur “fairy princess” Delacour walks into that arena, stares down an angry apex predator, and somehow manages to single-handedly enchant it to sleep. This Common Welsh Green is surrounded by hundreds of people, needs to protect its eggs, but Fleur Delacour’s magic manages to override all of its fear and anger? That is an incredible feat of powerful and probably very complex magic.
Like, no wonder Fleur Delacour can come off as condescending, that is mind-blowingly impressive. That is the work of 4-8 adult wizards. You cannot tell me that the watching dragon-handlers were not LOSING THEIR MINDS.
Between sexism and Fleur being part-Veela, it is unfortunately very realistic that she faces a lot of prejudice, but come on, Professors Sprout and Hagrid and etc. must have been going wild. It’s only some very bad luck that her skirt was accidentally set on fire. She got the golden egg. There was zero damage to the dragon or to the real eggs. Even if Madame Maxime and Fleur worked together to prepare it, Fleur still had to do it, and Madame Maxime would have been so rightly furious that Fleur’s bravery and magical skill wasn’t recognized.
Anyway, part of where I’m going with this, is that this injustice also creates some choice eldest Weasley brother reactions. Like Bill Weasley is writing his regular letters to Charlie, right? And he happens to mention, “Hey, I met this woman at work, with that guardian beast problem with that tomb I was telling you about. Do you remember the Beauxbatons Champion, Fleur Delacour?”
And Charlie Weasley writes back like, “DO I REMEMBER FLEUR DELACOUR? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WE HAVE A POSTER OF HER ON OUR WALL! I HAVE HER GRADUATING CHARMS THESIS ON CALMING MAGICAL CREATURES AND I WANT IT SIGNED. SHE REVOLUTIONIZED OUR DEALINGS WITH DRAGONS HERE. INJURIES ON THE RESERVE FOR DRAGONS AND HANDLERS ARE DOWN BY LIKE 75% SINCE WE BEGAN IMPLEMENTING HER SPELLWORK.”
“Uh, alright then. Well, you can send that to me and I will ask her to sign it for you,” Bill Weasley, an extremely successful Curse-Breaker, writes back. (It isn’t that he doesn’t find Fleur Delacour accomplishments very impressive, it is just that the poster on the wall thing is a Bit Weird.) “That’s not going to be weird when I ask her out or anything. Wish me luck.”
And Charlie writes back, “LUCK? LUCK?! WILLIAM WEASLEY, IF YOU DON’T MARRY THAT WOMAN, I’LL DISOWN YOU. TELL HER THAT IF GRINGOTTS DOESN’T APPRECIATE HER, SHE CAN COME TO ROMANIA. WE’RE BROKE, BUT I HAVE A DOZEN MUSCLED WIZARDS, WITCHES, AND OTHERS READY TO PROPOSE TO HER ON THE SPOT.”
“I was thinking dinner first,” Bill writes back. “But I’ll let her know?”
So, Fleur initially has to deal with a lot of crap from the Weasley Family, but at least she’s always got Charlie “Number One Fleur Delacour Fan” Weasley in her corner. You’ll catch Uncle Charlie excitedly telling the story of Fleur Delacour in the First Task to Bill’s children forever.
(Charlie: “IF YOU DON’T MARRY HER THEN I WILL!”
Bill: “Charlie, you’re not even into women.”
Charlie: “WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MOST IMPRESSIVE DRAGON-HANDLING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE?!!”)