Weir Wulf

When I looked at the screen he’d perfectly typed “loki”. I know those letters are all right next to each other but it still seemed portentous as fuck.

not Saw specifically but a slasher with a legit body count. Summer camp slashers are overplayed but I think it really works because it's the type of thing the Scooby gang WOULD get caught up in.

like some of the counselors didn't show up (got got) so the head counselor calls his younger cousin to see if him and his friends can fill in last minute. They show up and they're a bunch of nerds, one of them even has an anxiety dog, and they don't have a big role at first. It seems like the movie is setting them up as cannon fodder.

Fuck the slasher movie just effectively becomes Home Alone but with Four Kevin McAllisters

Dani realizes pretty much immediately that Danny didn't actually succeed in saving her, so that's why she almost immediately runs for the hills.

Later, she's using ghost shifting to hide the fact she's fully dead.

Then Danny finding out he didn't actually succeed in saving her at some point.

Sorry, I had to contemplate this. I don't really know what to write that doesn't feel... unsatisfying.

Because Danny's going to feel devastated. One part because he couldn't save her. Another, because she felt she had to hide her death. Like he had to hide his.

Also, this would probably kick start a mild dark Danny timeline. Not full on Dan, of course. But the idea that someone he loved died because he couldn't save them really messes with his head. He's more traumatized by Dani's death than she is. It may even lead into him trying to figure out how to give her a body. Either by studying cloning or by making her a body like Frankenstein. (Or possibly Ghost cannibalism to reform her with his living side?)

Phantom has become outwardly violent towards the mayor. Publicly. Which goes against everything he was trying to do before. If Daniel is no longer worried about how the public views Ghosts, that's less leverage Vlad has. Especially since the teens of Amity Park completely believe that Phantom is a hero. So why would a hero try to destroy Town Hall and threaten the mayor with with mutilation if he touched a Ghost child again? What does that even mean?

Maddie and Jack using this as an excuse to ramp up their hunting. Causing property damage as they chase the Phantom menace. Except. Well. This leads to them getting humbled. Quickly. Because Danny is done. He loves his parents, but they are causing more destruction, more injuries, and are more likely to hurt themselves than a Ghost that's actually trying. At least, in his mind.

Having the creature you were hunting suddenly show you they were holding back the entire time is terrifying. Having it hold you down with it's powers while it looks you in the eyes and tells you it isn't playing anymore, so go home. As if everything was just a game it grew tired of.

Phantom grabbing Maddie by the collar of her Hazmat, was already out of left field. Because Phantom always ran away. They thought he was a coward practicing self preservation. But all their Ghost weapons are none functioning and he's speaking to her with eyes so done and face almost completely blank, except for the lines of stress as he tried to instill in her that he was going to stop holding back.

Before she even had the chance to answer, he was there. Eye to eye, nearly nose to nose.

"Were you at indifferent when he killed her human side? Like your father was, knowing he was making an innocent puppy obsolete? When he decided Axion Labs didn't need guard dogs to compete with his systems? When he had Cujo put down?" Phantom pulled back, and looked at her in disgust.

"Valerie Gray," made her blood run cold.

"I should have let Technus hack that satellite gun. I should have let that Ghost possess the machine your father said he could protect from anything. I should have let all you humans die due to your hubris. I shouldn't have stopped the dog from proving he was always better than your father. Or maybe, I should have stopped him so I could have let Technus win? Any way it goes, I am done. You protect humans. I'll protect Ghosts. If you hunt a single one of my species again, I'll start doing the same to yours. Understand?"

"That, that means you can't hunt Masters!" She was just trying to gain ground.

Danny: Huh? Oh, yeah! They were all donated to me by some of my subjects after my coronation.

Damian: You sit on a throne... Of charitably donated bones?

Danny: Yeah? Where else would I get a bunch of bones?

Damian: The cliche is usually a throne made out of the bones of one's enemies, is it not?

Danny:

The bone throne means his people trust him and are devoted to him. They donated a part of themselves to build his empire.

The spooky lighting means his (glowing) subjects are obvious in the room. He's not trying to drown them out with bright lights and make them invisible, he's depriving himself of sightlines to make sure his guests are visible.

The towering ceilings give his people room to move, giving them a tactical advantage should they need to dodge. It's considerate to give them space to protect themselves.

Even the idea of a King sitting on a throne at the focal point of the room is considerate in that it allows people to clearly see where the threat is, and maneuver themselves around him should they need to.

Arming himself shows respect, that he feels the need to have weapons around you because you're a potential threat. Formal speech is precise because he's aware of the threat of species like the fae, who deal in words, and he's being cautious because he knows words can be a threat too. Any challenge to your beliefs or authority is a test, because he's a cautious and respectful King who wants the best for your people, so of course he will test your emotional mettle to make sure you're up for the task as their spokesperson.

To have such a vast army implies either masterful tactics that rarely cost casualties on his side (thus allowing his army to stay big and strong even without a constant supply of new recruits), a great deal of faith and good will from his people to keep donating more troops, or both.

Have y'all ever heard of the Army Corps of Engineers?

 He has no one to bitch to about it. 

Even the Emperor’s jumped on the superweapon hype train. Even the tolerably-competent officers like Tarkin are all #TeamDeathStar, and then there’s smug assholes like Admiral Motti who just won’t shut up about it, and honestly?

Vader’s probably been on the email CC list for the design since the project started. Years of enduring shitty design and interdepartmental bickering and watching some smarmy asshole in an inferior cloak prance about bloviating about his special superweapon like somebody who has an anime body pillow of the superlaser housing.

And then there’s this one scientist who keeps going on and on about this thermal exhaust problem.

Just. Huge amounts of emails on the subject, going on and on and on about it.

Vader is totally the only person who actually reads these after the first, like, five of them. Everybody else just skims through them with a side of “Seriously, Galen? Another one? Force-dammit, Krennic, couldn’t you have left him on that mudball with his family?” But Vader is bored out of his skull with 90% of his job anyway, and it’s not like he has anything better to do. Besides, viciously judging other people’s design abilities is the closest thing to pass for fun when there aren’t any Rebels to slaughter or armies to curbstomp, and there’s plenty of shit design for the judging.

He spots the flaw in the reactor the first time it appears in the plans.

He’d have shit himself if it wasn’t for the suit.

He promptly makes a bet with himself on whether anybody is going to spot it.

Nobody does.

They’re a pack of idiots. Every last one of them.

Maybe he contemplates telling them for like two-thirds of a second. It would be fun to lord his actual mechanical expertise over that little shit, Krennic.

But then he considers that he can only tell them once, and what if it were after the thing blew itself right the fuck up, what if that? He can still point out the flaw, and he can throw everyone’s stupidity right in their stupid faces, but also there’ll be no more Death Star.

So when Galen Erso sends out Thermal Exhaust Problem Analysis Report #6,109 and buried in paragraph 37 is a suggestion of an extra exhaust port, and Krennic responds with “SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR GODDAMN THERMAL EXHAUST PORT, GALEN, I DON’T GIVE A SHIT!” and Erso goes, “So you approve the solution?” and Krennic goes “S***** F*** LKJDGJFKL!!!!LJF$%#$DJF! YES!” Vader saves the email exchange for posterity and is downright cheerful the rest of the week.

True, he acts in its defense, chasing down Rebels when the plans are stolen. Of course he does. They’re Rebels, and hunting them down is his job and one of the very few pleasures of his existence. But it’s not for the Death Star. In fact, if one of them were to escape with its plans, and hide them successfully, and keep their location secret through torture and worse, and if another of them were to fly a starfighter well enough to keep from being destroyed long enough to drop a torpedo through that vulnerable exhaust port and touch off that reactor instability and turn the whole massive, ridiculous, wasteful, absurd, and vaguely insulting contraption into so much spacedust …

… well …

… oops.

Vader’s only regret about the whole affair is that Krennic predeceased it and is therefore unavailable for gloating to.

It’s Vader. The last guy you want to see. The guy who’s basically a galactic boogeyman. He doesn’t have Krennic to mess with but he’s MORE than happy to watch it again and be all like…

So yew trees are weird. They are extremely long lived with basically no known upper limit to their age. They do this by simply being extremely good at not dying like other trees do.

When a normal tree gets to an old age what usually happens is a fungus gets into their heartwood and takes hold. Their internal, dead wood rots away and they hollow out, lose structural support and collapse. Depending on the species this process can take decades or a good few centuries or so.

While yew trees do hollow out in this way they simply keep going afterwards. A ring shaped yew tree with most of its trunk missing is actually just middle aged and the most ancient yews get even weirder than that.

Wikipedia has this image of a Scottish yew where the start of this hollowing process can be seen. To be clear - for most tree species this would already have been fatal.

The thing is seeing a very old yew in this condition looks wrong to a tree surgeon, it's like the tree is constantly on the verge of death. So, if it's a well loved tree you try and do what you can to stop it from falling apart entirely.

A hundred years ago people tried all sorts of things like chaining up branches and also, yes, plugging the hollowed trunk with concrete. We know better nowadays.

Funnily enough there are even yews that survived this treatment and are still alive today.

This is a picture of the Tisbury yew in 1998 from the Ancient Yew Group, barely a minute ago from the tree's perspective.

Yews are fascinating plants with roots in European culture as ancient as the trees themselves. A few individual specimen trees are even estimated to be around five thousand years old - literally prehistoric in age.

Oh also they do weird things with sex as well sometimes. One of the oldest UK trees, the Fortingall yew appears to partially be turning from male to female on one side. It'll be interesting to see what becomes of it in the next few centuries of its life.

au where Jason was supposed to make sure Damian gets to Bruce safely but gets sidetracked by his crime lord/Joker revenge arc, and so on the night he was supposed to take Damian over to the manor he gets called away and tells Damian to just go over there alone, except Damian happens to spot Batman and Robin on patrol anyway and figures he just go and meet them there instead. which he does, and he goes home with them, and he settles in as a Wayne boy, eventually inheriting the Robin mantle from Tim, and it’s all normal and fine except for one thing.

Bruce has no idea Damian is his biological son.

Like, from Bruce’s perspective he just happened upon a small child with dark hair and an odd desensitisation to crime/violence with no other place to go and an interest in becoming Robin. that is literally how he acquired every other child he has adopted, this was Not unordinary behaviour from him. on Damian’s part, he had presumed that Talia would have alerted Bruce that he existed before sending him to Gotham, so he was under the impression that Bruce already knew Damian was his kid and this didn’t feel the need to overtly mention it. he just kinda showed up in the middle of Batman fighting a group of muggers, helped take them down, said he no longer had another home (he forgot the code to Jason’s apartment building and is too stubborn to ask for it again), and followed when Bruce told him to get in the batmobile.

i think Tim, Dick and Bruce would just assume that Damian is the product of some kind of trafficking ring/other horrible background that led to him being homeless on the streets with a decent hand to hand skillset, so they probably just. assume that Damian doesn’t want to talk about it. thinking that Damian will come to them when he’s ready to talk about where he came from, they just ask that he’s safe and nobody from his past is going to come for him. but the thing is, Damian knows from Jason that Batman and the League of Assassins don’t see eye to eye, so he presumes these questions are just about the probability of Damian meaning more league members are going to pop up in the Batman’s territory. so Damian, being honest, just goes ‘no- well unless you count Red Hood, but he defected so i’m not sure that counts’

so now Bruce not only has no idea he’s accidentally adopted his own fucking son, but he is under the impression that Damian is on the run from the Red Hood. and Damian is just increasingly confused by his family’s reactions to -in his mind- normal scenarios.

-

Bruce: and do you have a surname that you can remember?

Damian:

Damian, squinting: isn’t it… Wayne?

Bruce:

Bruce, tearing up as he prepares to contact his lawyers about adopting a child with no legal identity: i’m so glad you feel the same way.

Damian: ?

-

Bruce, the night they met Damian: and here is a guest room you can stay in for now,

Damian: thank you, Father.

Bruce:

Tim: that was quick. not even Dick’s at that stage yet.

Bruce: i know.

Tim: don’t expect that from me, buddy. i’m still kinda mad the fake uncle trick didn’t work.

Bruce: i know.

Tim: and i mean Dick left for Bludhaven, Jason ran for Ethiopia, i didn’t originally want to be adopted; it’s about time you found a kid who actually likes you-

Bruce: Tim shut up and go to bed.

-

Jason, interrupting them all on patrol: oh hey, you let the kid be Robin, cool.

Tim and Dick: *instantly jumping in front of Damian to shield him*

Dick: you aren’t taking him, Hood!

Tim: he’s free from you now and we won’t let him go, understand?

Jason:

Damian:

Jason:

Jason, side-eyeing them suspiciously: …aight. anyway, kid, you left your hoodie at my place. here.

Damian, catching the hoodie and sending Tim and Dick weird looks: thanks…?

-

i want this to go on for so long. like, i want Jason to be back in the family and him and Damian still not realising none of the bats know Damian is Bruce’s actual kid. i want there to be a really bad incident involving the JLA where Bruce gets poisoned/magicked in some way where the only cure that will save his life is blood/DNA from a blood-related donor, and everybody is freaking the fuck out because Bruce has no siblings and his parents are dead, so they have no options.

Okay but what if Amity park is an artificial town.

What I mean by that is what if in like the 50s it was a science experiment to see what happens if you put a bunch of people from a bunch of different places together. (its so diverse for a small town in the mid west. also it's called *Amity* Park.)

Most the people there or at least most who stayed are the kind of people who would up root their lives for science as such it is a very smart community, a community quite literally based in science.

After the first generation of kids is born the organisers of the experiment were asked if they tell the children what this town was made for or not.

They did not.

I’m thinking Danny’s gen is 3 or 4. the Fenton’s were outsiders who moved in because this small town just happened to be possiblly the most ecto dense place in all of America.

They were straight out of collage, they didn’t care about all the papers they were made to sign to stay there. They have ghosts to hunt after all.

When the GIW get to Amity Park because of all the ghost attacks and are met with far more red tape than they thought they would. They are able to operate there and deal with the ghosts however they see fit, however certain buildings are under certain protections and they are not to disturb the people of Amity, they are not allowed to purposely sew seeds of doubt and distrust in the community.

The GIW know Danny Fenton is somehow tied to Phantom, likely working closely with him, giving the ghost all his tech and teaching him how to dismantle theirs. But they can never get to him let alone question him because he keeps enacting all these stupid rules for the experiment!

Barry: hm-Wha?

Iris: Someone is in our house!

Barry: Is it Wally?

Iris: No, he's still on that space mission.

Barry: Okay. Stay here. I'll go check it out. *Picks up bat* If you hear me shout Code 16 use our home invasion plan delta.

Iris: Okay.

Barry walking through the dark house until he sees a light in the kitchen: AH-HA!

Danny eating out of the open fridge: Hmm-whaa!?

Barry: Wait a minute, you're just a kid. What are you doing?

Danny: I'm sorry! I was hungry! I didn't know anyone was home, but I swear I didn't mean any harm!

Barry: I see. How long has it been since you last had food?

Danny: I don't know.

Barry: Really?

Danny sniffing: I'll leave, I'm sorry. Please don't call the cops.

Barry putting the bat down: Leaving before my one am meal? You can't! Stay, I could use the company.

Danny: ....one am meal?

Barry: Yeah, I can whip us up some pizzas. *turning to yell* IRIS, IT'S ALL GOOD. GO BACK TO BED. I'M GOING TO EAT

Iris: OKAY! ENJOY!

Danny: Um?

Barry: I have pepperoni, sausage or plain cheese. Which do you prefer?

Danny: Wait. Are you really going to make me pizza?

Barry: Well, it's frozen pizza. It takes about 15 minutes in my toaster oven, but trust me, it's the best brand. My nephew swears by it. My name is Barry, by the way, what's yours?

Danny: I...Ugh I'm Danny.

Barry: Nice to meet you Danny. You want to crash here after we eat?

Danny: What?

Barry: Spend the night here. A nap after eating always feels best.

Danny: ....what?

A few hours later Barry slipping back into bed: Iris.

Iris: Hmm?

Barry: I've adopted a son. His name is Danny. He's fifteen, meta, and running from his parents. Sweet thing. He took over the guest room, so now when we have guests stay over, they have to sleep on the pull-out couch.

Iris half alseep: Sounds good. Does he have your eyes?

Barry: Yeah surprisingly he does. I tucked him into bed.

Iris: That's nice.

“You can catch me, or you can save them. Make your choice, Batsy!” Joker cackled as he pulled the pin on the grenade and threw it into the crowd of civilians.

Batman lunged for the grenade, but Jazz was closer. She didn’t know what motivated her to grab the grenade in her hands, but she scooped it up and clamped her fingers around it just as it exploded.

“No!” Batman grunted.

Luckily for Jazz and the crowd, the explosion was contained in her hands and nobody was harmed. Unluckily for Jazz, both Joker and Batman were now staring at her.

Jazz:... I can't accept the offer to Gotham U. And it was sooo good!!!! And you two! Aren't! Helping!

She was walking through the park and admiring the scenery when she noticed a park bench empty. She headed towards it, taking a seat. She opened her book: the wonders of the human mind, and began to read. She would make notes every so often of something to research later for her classes. It wasn’t that cold of a day, in fact, it was quite warm for September.

“Would you like a hot chocolate, miss?”

She looked up in disbelief. Superman was holding a paper cup in his hand. She didn’t want to be rude, so she picked her notes up from the seat beside her and gestured for him to sit down. He did, handing her the cup as he did. She thanked him and took a sip.

“I’m assuming this is about what happened in Gotham.” She said.

“Is it a crime to visit a friend from time to time?” Superman asked.

“I’ve never met you before, Superman.” She deadpanned, looking down at the cup.

She sniffed it, wishing she had done that before she had taken a drink. Luckily, she didn’t smell anything amiss with the hot chocolate. Years of living with her parents had honed her senses to the slightest disturbance, long before she had even became a halfa.

Superman blinked in surprise at the blatant distrust that had come from her. “Okay, I will admit that I did want to talk to you about something.”

She gestures for him to go on while she took another sip of the hot chocolate. It was actually pretty good!

“Would you be interested in joining the Justice League?”

She choked on her hot chocolate, dribbling half of it down her shirt as she coughed. “Absolutely not!” She croaked out.

“Are you sure?” Superman looked concerned. “We offer—“

She stood up abruptly, grabbing her books in one hand and her hot chocolate in the other. “No thanks. See ya!”

Danny: What's up?

Ellie: Yeah! Who do we gotta punch!!

Jazz: No! No punching Superman! He tried to recruit me to their hero club.

Danny: What?

Ellie: But.. You're studying to be a doctor? This would be the worst time to do heroics?

Jazz: Exactly! So...

None of them thought of the actual problem though. It all started one day like this: Lex’s toupees had all gone missing, and the only shirt in his closet was a very tacky t-shirt that had an arrow pointing at the neckline with the words “Solar Powered Sex Machine” under said arrow. Only pants? Fuschia sequined booty shorts that said #GotCake? across the butt.

He had tried everything. But as soon as he blinked, it was this again. He even tried wearing it and hiding in a stall on another level to change since everyone KNEW Luthor would never willingly use a public stall, it still happened again.

And on top of that? He somehow managed to get toilet paper attached to the bottom of his shoe, so Lois and Clark’s new favorite picture of Lex had him with a horrible fake tan, a head that glowed in the noonday sun, the world’s tackiest shirt and shoe combo, but with $500 dress shoes that had a trail of toilet paper attached behind him running the length of the hallway.

Dinah: Why both of us?

Clark: I have.. An interesting case. It intersects. We have a meta with superhuman strength and durability. Who is being haunted by her dead siblings. Now! They aren't doing anything harmful. They keep haunting Luthor and drug runners. And she seems fine. But, is it... Healthy for her to let the haunt her?

Dinah: Huh. And they definitely are dead. Not just assumed dead?

Clark: There are NO vital signs. Just... Voices. Who clearly love her. I'm keeping an ear on them. They cook for her and clean her flat. Make sure she sleeps. When she's not there? They go bust drug rings. Even with x-ray? I can't see them. She clearly can. But whatever type of spirit they are?

Zatanna: Hmm. Clearly powerful if they are capable of interacting so much. Give me the address? I can try scrying. If that doesn't work? I'll wander that area and get a feel.

Dinah: They could also b a new type of meta. And if he was presumed dead? They may not know how to safely query that?

Clark:... I would have thought that. If she didn't mention his death. It could very well be a situation like Fish where the kid was just changed. But they all believe he's dead. So...

Dick: Drake?

Tim: No, I mean as Robin. I have to fill out these forms for a new hero team but it won't let me submit it without a surname and they don’t know who I really am yet so...

Dick: Oh, it's Knight. That's actually Bruce sanctioned.

Tim: He agreed to it?

Dick: Not exactly. He had to full name me in the field once in front of Lex Luthor and said 'Robin the Boy Wonder Knight, if you do not get down from there this instant...'

Tim: Does he use it?

Dick: I think so. After I started using it. He's sentimental like that.

Even the fucking DOG is euphoric, and I get it; You ever run up the stairs of your house on all fours? Shits magical as a child. Ben got that but actually being quadrupedal.