Weightloss Of Slob

Meditation for Slobs

Dress Appropriately - Don’t be sitting down cross legged in a pair of pants that are cutting into your gut, you need oxygen to breath and breathing is a big part of mediation/living in general. Wear anything you find really comfortable. Old Jumpers and baggy t-shirts are great. Hell, let the dangly bits free if thats what you want. As long as you feel unrestricted and calm thats all that matters.

Stretch it Out - Do those awkward stretches that you don’t know the name of. Loosen the muscles up. Very important to getting you in that physically and mentally relaxed state. Yoga is meant to be helpful before meditating so do some cat, horse,dog poses. If thats your thing.

Sit or Lay Down - Once again its up to you. Sit like Yoda or lay down like a starfish. It’s your body you should know what will help you . I prefer to sit up with my back against something. My lazy way of keeping good posture.

Breathe - No matter what blog or book you read they will all generally discuss the same idea. Focus on your breathing. I find it so hard to do. I would say not to focus so much on it but be mindful of it. I read in a book that chanting something for every exhale and inhale is good internally chanting not yelling out to the heavens chanting. I do this technique and I find my mind goes quiet a lot quicker. 

Patience - Im not the most patient person and the fact that meditation holds no instant gratification is highly annoying to me when my focus is shot and i’m feeling Dick Frizzelled. Calm yourself down man. Even if you don’t get to the ‘spiritual motherland’ getting into a more relaxed state has just helped your day.

Be Open - Let whatever state you’re in take you where it wants, although it might freak you out at first it will surprise you how good you can feel. Do what feels right and if you don’t get it the first time try not to worry it takes a lot of time. 5 mins is great for a first time. I am at that stage that goes before beginner and if I even get 5 - 15 mins I pat myself on the back.

Meditation; Is a practice in which an individual trains the mind or induces a mode of consciousness, either to realize some benefit or for the mind to simply acknowledge its content.

Mind = Blowin

I dont know if it’s just me but the above really made meditation seem like putting on skinny jeans after a swim……… IMPOSSIBLE. After reading that little definition I went off on a little cyber jaunt and came across thousands of how to meditate, meditation for beginners, “meditation so good for you” and mediation for dummies styled blogs. My concentration isnt that good at the best of times so as soon as the spiritual words started popping in front of my eyeballs and the text looked never ending I was already back on google looking for a different write up. I needed super “easy to follow” instructions because something that was meant to induce you into such a simple state shouldnt be so hard. Im no expert but makes sense when I type it.

Taking up meditation was meant to be a new adventure for me, as a person who is another victim of the “Age of Vanity” I felt like I was slowly leading down a shallow pathway filled with self loathing and unhappiness which I knew wouldn’t see me positively through life. Its super unhealthy to only care about the outside of a person, especially yourself. 

Ive found meditating to be quite insightful of myself and my mind. While at times it’s thoroughly relaxing and helpful, other times I feel in turmoil and exhausted from trying to reach the meditative state (Needless to say I probably wasn’t focusing enough but you find some sessions are better then others ). Although not for everybody its worth trying.

After a fairly long hiatus from the gym, healthy eating and just general taking care of myself I chose to blame the Christmas break .I decided it was time to get the new year off to a healthy start. Strolling in to my first combat class for the year I was excited but nervous at how I’d go, the overly loud and dizzying trance tracks began to blare out and I put on what I can only imagine as a displeasing display to the eyes. I was panting like crazy and any technique I thought I had had failed to show itself leaving me to be an uncoordinated mess. 

By the end of the class I had fully realised just how quickly fitness can leave a person even though the journey to get to it was long and tedious, all the christmas food devoured and mulled wine consumed over that holiday period had some how drowned it into non existence.

One can’t be to hard on themselves, as you can’t expect to dine like a king and it have no effect on your behind let alone your entire body. I thought back to the lazy lunches on the deck eating food that I probably wouldn’t get to have for another year and found only happiness not guilt. 

Hence why 2015 I’m going to be kinder to myself. Going to stop the self loathing voice I get in my head everytime i reach for something thats a ridiculous amount of calories and remind myself and others that they’re beautiful, even while stuffing there face with cake. 

After my first session of combat (a gym group session based around martial arts) for the year I found myself walking and feeling a bit different. The odd mind I have instantly thought a spell that could have been put on me and I immediately started to seek out the culprate. There was nobody to Stupefy so with that stupid theory being put to rest I instantly reflected on the torture I had just inflicted on my poor body. 

Although me and excercise rarely get along, this evening really made me think about what it does to my mind and body.

Walking taller - Not because of platform chucks or the delicious stretches to my spine I did at the end of class but doing something good for yourself does make you walk with your head a bit higher because you are feeling like a confident gym ape who is extremely slender and toned. Actually stretches to the spine scientifically could be a thing that plays with your height not to sure….

Feeling happier - Im sure you’ve heard it 100 times about all these interesting feel good chemicals (My google is being slow so no proper name for those little gems today) in your body that get released when you do exercise. Yes they exist, yes they do get released and yes they do make you feel good which then leads to a super stoked you, feeling like a million bucks cause you did something positive for your body instead of putting something positively delicious inside of it. 

Eating healthier - Okay this one could be up for debate but I personally find that when I’ve had a good work out the last thing I want to do is eat a big fat pizza because in the long run it means just that, i’ll have to go for a long run. Also you’ve made this great big effort to burn some of that pizza off your ass from the previous take out night why add to it. 

I remember after my first week of fully committed training I went into a clothes store and grabbed a top a size smaller then the one I usually wear. It didnt fit in case you were waiting for this big rewarding story but in my mind I was a bloody size smaller and that top just didnt know it was meant to fit me. That right there is a perfect example of the way excercise can alter your minds perception of yourself.

You could easily put the positive feelings and mind altering effects of excercise down to the little points above or if you are an eccentric weirdo person like me and prefer something way more interesting, exciting and  non existent then blame it on the magic. 

Photography rookie. 

That’s probably a bit to generous of a title to give myself. Younger me had always loved film photography and older me who is under the impression that doing anything you want to do is possible decided to give it another try (Yes another, I had tried it at school but had been a rather distracted teen). A couple of sessions at high school and all the photography lifestyle blogs I had read since that time apparently didn’t mean I was going to be shit hot this time around.

Imagine my disappointment.

I bought a canon ae-1 (the beautiful photographs it produces on Charly Cox’s Style the Natives is enough of an advert to make you want one) last year and struggled for an hour trying to get the film in.

 Warning Bells. 

1. 80% Diet and 20% Exercise

If I had a dollar for every time my mum said this to me I’d probably have enough money to buy a Big Mac combo (Bloody expensive now days to). Everytime she says this a little voice in my head says “Pabs you’re effed cause you eat like a bloody animal”. I’m pretty sure she is right though cause I did read it on like 10 other blogs as well.  Cut back your portions and eat a bit healthier maybe go for a walk to the shop for that “pinky bar” and she’ll be right (I WISH). 

2. You don’t need a NutriBullet

Despite popular belief you don’t need a $200 NutriBullet to make those smoothies all the hip health bloggers show in there pictures. I’m not in anyway discouraging you from buying one. By all means if you have the money I take my hat off to you and shake your lovely wee hand. Im just saying that there are lots of cheap alternatives out there that do just as good of a job. Despite all that you should know blending is a great way to get those fruit and veg nutrients into you cause getting healthier does involve upping the intake of those bad boys. 

Note: Dont believe the buggers when they say fruit cuts out the yuck flavours of the veg. Either im doing it wrong or their tongue aint doing its job properly.

3.  Ain’t just about cardio

Cardio cardio cardio. I squirm inside just even typing it. My body is sweating in preparation for it. I’m just going to go out on a limb here and say I’m not fit (hence the word slob in the name) although I’m trying to combat that, it takes a person time to build up stamina to be able to tackle it. But the thing is it’s not the only type of exercise that will help you achieve the rockin bod you want. Yoga, Pilates, Weight training are all part of the system to. Yoga and Pilates for stretching, strength and targeted core work and Weight training just so you can be a muscly beast.

4. Detox that bod

I’ve read so much about detoxing and the benefits it gives your body. Basically its ridding your body of the toxins that have built up over time. Be aware this is just a fancy way of saying you should buy those mega rolls of toilet paper on your next shopping excursion. Ive done one once before and while highly inconvenient when your body is pushing all the rubbish out you do feel rather energised and lighter. Bloating in the ol tum goes way down too which is a bonus when looking in the mirror side on. Its recommended that you do one before starting your weightloss/health journeys. Start your body and mind off fresh.

5. Bloody Lifestyle Change