in the streets i am a problem

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

I can tell my evil advisor has been feeling down lately so I've been pretending to take big sips from his cursed chalice and then roaming the palace grounds groaning and clutching my abdomen. Lowkey I know it's deceptive but I can tell it's really cheering him up. I heard him evilly cackle for the first time in weeks. WIBTA if I keep doing this

I’ll need to run it by the black mold first before making any major decisions

going to get my blood tested and dr acula and nurse feratu walk in. hope everything is ok

explaining things to your friend who's a gnome: okay so imagine a berry

Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi

those are his hooves you bitch

happy 10 years of those are his hooves you bitch

why the FUCK am i still on here

Ill block a bitch on iamsober ill block a bitch on myfitnesspal ill block a bitch on neko atsume 2

Ill help mom block a bitch on chess.com

And Ill block mom after

(scrolling my dash) trite. trite. trite. contrived. foppish. shameful. oh, a disgusting embellishment from one of my decrepit mutuals. to be cordial i will re-blogge it. JEFFREY! (a butler-type creature who is as tall as my knee and incredibly ghoulish skitters into the room from a crack in the wall) be a dear and block this fool for me would you? (jeffrey pulls out a rusted dagger from behind its back and licks it) thank you. begone. (jeffrey scuttles out of the door and into the road where it is immediately struck by a semi truck at 80 mph)

byron. come here to memy son. i have been defeated. we have been defeated. my sweet child. swallow this pill with daddeh. it’ll be over soon. i love you. i love this nation. god bless these great united states. good buh buh

Reblog to kill a British person instantly