@wcvecrested continued from here
As the months had passed, Zuko's body slowly began to recover. His broken ribs were almost healed, though still sore, and his limping had gone away, though he was still slower. Bruises had now faded away, gashes now left only scars. He was starting to hold weight again, his face filling out, though his muscles hadn't yet returned. Training had been next to impossible. He was focused almost entirely on just regaining regular strength to function. His body was on the mend, which was helping his mind.
His mind, however, still struggled. Nightmares of everything that transpired in that frigid basement still haunted him. Memories of what was done to him pulled him from his sleep and made it hard to focus on anything. Even if he was just going about his day, sometimes Zuko's eyes would glaze over, the sight before him disappearing behind a flashback of those men's faces.
It was hard to feel like a person. He'd been so degraded and dehumanized it was difficult to distinguish where the line lied. Zuko didn't know where his humanity started and where his dignity had ended. Months of being called worthless swirled together with a childhood of it and distorted his self perception even further. He hated it, and it made him feel like a sulking burden again. He had put his uncle through enough when he was a teenager.
But Zuko counted his blessings that his uncle and friends were here. He couldn't fathom why they still cared, but they did. Without them, he didn't know how he possibly could have hung on. He loved them all so deeply, but in the past months, as Katara especially stayed closer and closer, his long held feelings became harder to deny. For years, Zuko held feelings for Katara that he'd tried to push away.
She was dating his best friend, after all, and she was also one of his best friends. He wasn't fool enough to come between that or even try to. It would be selfish and cruel, and in vain. Once Mai had left him, the feelings became harder to deny, but he kept trying. And even now, Katara had just broken up with Aang, and he didn't know if that was permanent. Saying something now still felt cruel and insensitive to the relationship she'd just lost, and he didn't want to hurt Aang either, who still likely had feelings for Katara.
Not to mention, he probably hadn't been a very good friend about that to either of them lately. He was so caught up in his own problems that he hadn't been around as a shoulder to cry on for either of them going through this breakup. They needed him, and he couldn't be there for them. Yet, here they were, still here for him.
To top it all off, Zuko doubted that Katara even would reciprocate romantic feelings for him at all. Katara was an incredible friend: kind, loving, and devoted to everyone she cared about. He didn't want to ever do anything to make her uncomfortable or risk changing what they had in their deep, friendly bond. It wasn't even in a self-loathing sense, Zuko just couldn't see a beautiful, intelligent, kind, funny woman like Katara falling for a man like him.
So it was best to appreciate what they had, and he loved what they had. He was lucky to have it.
Even now, Katara stayed at his side in his bed, despite the rumors the court whispered in the corridors, for him. She kept him company at nightfall — for him. Zuko couldn't sleep by himself, and at first, his uncle had lied beside him, but as his uncle had become busy picking up some of Zuko's slack, Katara found herself at his side. She didn't have to do that for him, leave her own quarters and be with him, but she did.
That was another thing. Zuko didn't want Katara to think that he was falling for her as some kind of crutch, that it was just because of his bad situation, like he was using her. He knew what it felt like to feel used. Zuko never wanted Katara to feel that way, especially not from him. He didn't want her to ever think that he had fallen for what she'd done for him instead of who she was.
And he loved every part of who Katara was. The anger, the mean streaks, the morning breath, and everything in between.
As he slept tonight, Zuko stirred gently. Thankfully, not from a nightmare. He awoke groggily, finding himself entangled in Katara. He blushed deeply. Zuko was always embarrassed when he found himself in Katara's arms. It was something he did unconsciously, another sign of trust — of his love for her. But he couldn't imagine it was something she wanted, especially in this heat, and especially from her friend who people were already spreading rumors about.
"Oh, I— I'm sorry," muttered Zuko sleepily, noticing Katara was awake too. "I hope I wasn't keeping you awake," he said, still blushing fiercely. "You can always shove me off," mumbled Zuko, feeling his skin heat up, "Or go back to your own room. You don't have to do this forever, Katara… you've been doing more than enough for me."
