wax wolf

*vibrating* it’s the cowboy witch poem it’s the cowboy witch poem it’s the cowboy witch poem

ive had this queued since february.

World Heritage Post

my mom just had a 7cm brain tumor removed and since she's woken up she's been talking nonstop about this dream she had about going to an art gallery full of colourful paintings by a 'homosexual artist' named klimsdorf who was ethereal and wise, both young and old... at first she was convinced he was a real person but after failing to find him online she's accepted he was a figment of her subconscious mind and is now determined to bring him to life via painting his portrait herself. she's 67 and has never drawn in her life. and now this. blorbo from her tumor

Gatekeeping is so good and important

What's she saying in the photo

HOT.

bugs bunny was so fucking right there really is nothing cuntier than eating a whole carrot

Old as shit skinny white woman in bed hooked up to 200 tubes and machines surrounded by her crying family, she looks up towards the eldest daughter and raises her frail hand. Everyone stops, listening raptly. She coughs twice and then clears her throat, and beckons the daughter closer. ‘i should’ve eaten her pussy. I should’ve rawed that roast beast like a rabid dog on its last legs. I would’ve made her bleed you know. She would’ve thought she came so hard that her period started. The squirt would’ve drowned me, but I’d swallow every last drop of rna so I could sequence it for the years to come. They’d have called me the krypt keeper. I would’ve chewed so hard her gynecologist would’ve woke up in the middle of the night sweating like a stuck pig. But I didn’t. That’s why I’m surrounded by you fucking bozos.’ With her final words she breaths her agonol breath and falls backwards before flatlining, leaving her family in the quiet hospice room stunned and teary eyed in the wake of her passing.

the songs Beyoncé writes about that man are crazy it's like watching someone build the sistine chapel for a possum they found in a gas station parking lot

having received a lot of feedback about this post in the last 24 hours I've realized that everyone is right and I genuinely do need to apologize. possums are lovely creatures and they don't deserve to be compared to Jay Z, that was a deeply uncool thing of me to say. I'm sorry possums, I love the way you eat ticks and I hope you'll forgive me someday.

I've been informed that the thing about possums eating ticks might also be wrong. sorry that this post has become a monument to bad information about the noble possum. the point about Jay Z stands though.

genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Harder to crucify a being with eight legs

the absolute agony of characters too good for the media they originate in