in my darkest hour

Time he definitely didn’t have, but that’s enough of the gallows humor for right now. “Can’t really get away from anyone, either. Everytime you turn around, hey, it’s the guy whos dog keeps shitting on your lawn.” And exes, but he bites his tongue there. In theory, Sol can’t see him, any possibility of anything there is gone, but the thought of her still makes his stomach twist. 

“True… So do you miss anything? Out of all of it?”

"Not a dog guy?” He grins, thinking about how Gatsby might reaction to this whole situation. 

“Oh the too old to learn’s the worst excuse. I tried to do political cartoons in the paper and the lash back was terrible. See, you can be anonymous in the city, but not here. People are nosy, but I’m sure you’ve figured that out.”

“Slow streets, huh, never thought of what a relief that would be. I’m going to take a moment to brag here and say I’ve never had to deal with shitty traffic or commutes. And, hey, I’ll never have to again.” 

"Sounds like you were on your way to cracking the shell. Just takes too much time.” And the burden shouldn’t be on either of them to do so. Mateo shrugs, fingers in the sand. “But yeah. Nosy’s an understatement.” 

 With his words falling on deaf ears and his presence unseen by even more, he’s been thankful, lately, of any ripple he makes on the world. So the grin he gets is one that makes him grin back. “Tell me about it. I grew up with them telling me how to pronounce my name. Wasted years of my life that I’ll never get back on AJ.”

“That’s sweet. We always hear it the other way around here, kids wanting to get away into the city. I see what you’re saying, though. It’s… a warm environment?”

"Awful. And they all want you to tell them it’s okay if ‘they’re too old to learn.’ Vicious cycle.” He shakes his head, looking out to the sea with a crease in his brow. “But that shit all goes over the same in the city.” 

“Where’d you come from?” A pause. Then, just because the other man’s brown, he adds in (with a little smile on his lips). “I mean in a city way, not in the mildly racist way.”

“I used to. Can’t really picture leaving either, so that makes both of us.” Part of him wonders what Mateo’s going on, but he’s terrified of opening that can of worms. Ajay stays quiet as he mulls over his thoughts, before speaking up again. “So what do you like about it?”

“Nowhere close. Think East.” Mateo cracks a wider grin at the second half, shaking his head. “Didn’t take it that way. But thanks, man. We sure live in a mildly racist town.”

“I did, yeah,”   he replies as he glances up to the figure. With the glare behind, it takes a second for Ajay to place Mateo.  “You didn’t, right?”

Ajay’s memories always seem split. There’s before his death and then there’s after. It doesn’t matter how long Mateo has been there; because of the nature of their encounters, he’s always placed as after. Maybe that’s why there’s always a bitter taste in his mouth, even as he plasters on a smile to add on. “How do you like it? Thinking about sticking around?”

"Nah,” He wants to level the space between them, and all his questions on top. The best he can do right now is sit down, so he leans on the heels of his palms. “Moved in six years ago.” 

Ajay settles down the sand on a surprisingly warm Friday morning. If he concentrates, just enough, he can feel the warm sand on his fingertips.

“The sun’s not going to last long, is it?” he comments as he peers off at the bulk of clouds heading this way.

“Big, goopy tears? What am I, an elephant?” 

“That’s how they keep you coming back for more. Changing it up subtly, so you don’t get bored. Keeping their trade secrets.” And it’s worked. He hasn’t gotten tired of them once in the two years they’ve been going consistently. “Just headed back from work. You want a lift? It’s pretty late.” Petal Beach might be safer than most places, but it would still make him feel better. 

“Doesn’t everything in cartoons have big, goopy tears? Would you rather have tiny ones? Little bullet tears? That sounds so weird.”

“Aw, come on! She’s not wrong! The dentists we have in Petal Beach aren’t… the greatest.” 

“You would have made an amazing girl scout. Bossy is just one step away from leadership skills.” When she thinks Holly is making fun of that one time she drunkenly admitted that she had a crush on her mom, Sol laughs with pink tinged cheeks. “Really? You think she would?”

"I wouldn’t know! I don’t have any five star dentists to compare them to!” 

“I hate you. I hope you know that.” With both of Holly’s arms free, Vivian has no qualms about wrapping her up and pressing a kiss to her shoulder before leaning her chin against it. 

“Duh, any excuse to go bother the precinct is the best. We have to really sell them, though. Like flaunt that stuff, baby.” Vivian giggles a little as she slaps Holly’s ass. “Oh, I’m so excited, I love dropping by there. There’s this hot ass detective who makes me want to drop my panties right there. You’re gonna love him.”

“I know! You’re always reminding me when we wake up together.” 

“If we’re lucky? I couldn’t deal with them not recognizing me for it.” 

“Yeah, they’re really asking for it, aren’t they? And their tacos keep getting better–not sure how.” Rafael laughs at the thought of them up at six in the morning, dealing with the consequences of their actions. “We’ll deal with that when we deal with it.” When he notices the streets are pretty dark save for a streetlight or two, Raf turns back to Holly. “Were you on your way home?”  

"Try not to let it get to you, okay? I don’t know if I can afford all the Puffs for your big, goopy tears.” 

Sol laughs, and shakes her head. “Well, we can’t have that, now can we?”

“You really have to watch your back with that group of girls. They wouldn’t hesitate to overthrow you as the leader!” She might be exaggerating, but it isn’t especially far outside of the realm of reality. “You’re too kind! I can’t wait to look through those racks and try on… just about the whole store.” 

"If I have to hear about her bad experiences with dentists one more time, I can’t be held accountable for my actions.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not going down without a fight.” 

He laughs at the amount of tacos they always get when they grab dinner at Pétalo Taqueria every first Friday of the month. “You’re right. Bet we’ll be up to six by summer. And you got me hooked on that sweet bread, anyway.” 

“We’ll duke it out. Maybe if we’re lucky, they’ll put it in the papers about the brave fight you put up.” 

“Rarely! Maybe twice, and they weren’t even that bad!”

“Gatorade? What are you, nuts? You’ll have a little gaggle of children at your heels! They won’t let you leave!” She’s learned that the hard way, multiple times. “I can’t wait to see the store, though! The collection of clothes she gets in the spring are always way too good to pass up.” 

"You’re going to give my mom a very real cavity if you keep being so sweet.” 

“I better watch my back, then. That’s the kind of thing that might push you over the edge.”

He’s been going out to scheduled lunches and other outings with Holly for so long that she feels like family, despite his every attempt at distance. “Are you saying you don’t always splurge?”

"I’m getting there. Hopefully sooner than we think. Then I can tell the whole town I clowned you.” 

“She’s too kind! Really, I think I go overboard with how much I tell her I love her. Everything she makes is just too good for me to feel okay with leaving without paying her something for it.” 

Sol laughs at the idea of bringing a bunch of kids Capri Suns. “I’m not quite that level of soccer mom, thank god. I’m the boring version who shows up with bottles of water.” And fruit, if she has enough time, not that many kids often take some other than Elisa. “So sweet of you to help your mom on your day off! How is the shop coming together?”

"Well, your tastebuds have paid, too. It works out!” 

“I’m waiting for the day.” 

He knows better than to push too hard against how stubborn she is, because it’s never worked out in his favor. “Alright, fine. But only because I know you’re going to do it no matter what I say.”

"Me too. I should invest in one of those Batman or Superman suits for Halloween. The fake pecs would do wonders for me.” 

“You came out of it so strong and sweet,” she replies, teasing about the tough cookie comment. “Now stop looking at me like that so I can stop kissing you.” 

“That’s it? Thank God I’m here, then, to save you. Are you just supposed to stand here until they’re all done?” Vivian leans into her touch with a happy hum. “I can’t believe you didn’t think of the quick fix. We just need to go drop them off at my brother’s precinct. You know how it is about cops and donuts.” 

"Is that what I came out like?” Holly’s smile seems unconvinced. “I can’t!”