Simon Jarrett x Reader headcanons because im normal about the Canadians
cherry valley forever

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
NASA
todays bird
Not today Justin
we're not kids anymore.
noise dept.
DEAR READER

Andulka
Mike Driver
styofa doing anything
One Nice Bug Per Day
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Monterey Bay Aquarium

shark vs the universe
almost home

ellievsbear

izzy's playlists!
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@wausbasementslave
Simon Jarrett x Reader headcanons because im normal about the Canadians

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Can I yap to you about the smut fic I’m writing about Simon Jarrett entering a Dominant/Submissive dynamic with Catherine? (Catherine is the dom and Simon is the sub btw)
SURE! Go ahead I love Soma Fanfics! :D
(Submissive simon? Based!)
So i came up with a deranged hc awhile ago...what if Shockwave was an incel. Hear me out, he calls his own species females and he is ugly by transformer standards. So what if he was sexually frustrated from this, only to find out on the decepticon incel forums (or decepticels.org for anyone curious) that human females are "easier" and tighter than the
What could they mean? Well his attempt doesnt go as planned. The poor feeeemale human is screaming and he has no idea why. He supposes that females of all species are like this then kidnaps you. (have fun drowning in his jar)
shocky furballs
I saw this post and it made me wetter (from sweat, of course, lol).
Especially this part:
Obsessed! Shockwave x human! reader
GN! reader. Thank you, @nsfcomets, for your post and for the portion of inspiration! English is not my native language!

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The tripods are kinda cute ngl
I wanna pet it and i bet it gives the sweetest purrs
I WILL NOT TOLERATE THE SIMON SLANDER ANY LONGER.
simon regularly gets dragged by people because he comes off as "stupid." SIMON IS NOT STUPID, HE HAS BRAIN DAMAGE. do people not understand this??? literally the whole game happens because simon went in for an experimental brain scan in hopes of recovering from the horrific car accident he suffered prior to the games events. his brain is literally BLEEDING. so much so that he has to go to the hospital to get his fucking skull cavity drained so the blood buildup doesn't cause even more damage
his condition is demonstrated in the prologue. he has memory problems. he cannot remember where he put the tracer fluid, and has to go through his whole apartment to find it. he forgot to send jesse that email explaining why he wouldn't be coming into work that day. he can't watch TV or movies anymore because screens gives him headaches. he needs to be medicated because his nightmares cause him stress, which can be fatal for him.
simon's scan is not only one of the very first of its kind, therefore quite primitive, but it is also that of a damaged brain. it is 'flatter' than the other scans we encounter. right off the bat, all versions of simon are impaired.
so of course it makes sense that he cannot fully comprehend certain concepts. it makes sense that he doesn't quite grasp what is going on and what will happen to him, even when he is faced with it after getting put in a new suit (WHICH TRAUMATIZES HIM BY THE WAY). and just like the ones who embraced the continuity theory, he clings to hope that he will be saved from the nightmare that is pathos-2.
simon is remarkably fucking chill when you think about it. he navigates the dilapidated structures of pathos-2 quite well, despite not only being impaired, but also coming from an entirely different time period. simon's scan is from 2015. he comes to in fuckin 2104. this guy is resilient as FUCK. and on top of that, he is constantly in danger and has to sneak around and hide from literal abominations trying to tear him apart and also has to cope with the fact that the world fucking ended and almost everyone is DEAD AND GONE. in fact, his impairment is partly what keeps him from going completely insane like the other mockingbirds.
and not to mention the fact that his guiding companion knows all of this. catherine is very careful with the way she words things after she picks up that simon isn't quite understanding the concepts involved. she redirects him from certain thought paths, and omits information she know would upset him. it is subtly manipulative. (but i still adore her)
simon was just a guy. an everyman, if you will. he worked at a bookstore. he dabbled in photography. he liked watching movies. he had an unrequited crush on a friend who died horrifically in the same accident that gave him serious, fatal injuries. he wasn't particularly academic. he wasn't an engineer or in STEM. he was just a guy from toronto who was dealt a very shitty hand and died young. and then his brain scan gets uploaded into an absolute NIGHTMARE.
AND HE STILL GETS SHIT DONE. DO NOT COME FOR MY BOY. HE IS PRECIOUS AND HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HIS WHOLE LIFE. HE DESERVED BETTER.
GO OFF. IM SICK OF THE SIMON SLANDER. HE. IS. TRAUMATIZED AND HAS BRAINDAMAGE.
a simon doodle i made a few days ago.....
it was just a warmup sketch and some style practice but i'm still happy with how it turned out ^^
we all agree that when Cath opened her arms at the end of Soma that was so Simon could throw himself into them and hug her, yes?
peak male appearance

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simon-2 back in omicron watching simon-3 going through it in the abyss
(this was a lot funnier in my head)
((also helmetless version!))
no need to apologize! its your blog, it moves at whatever pace you want it to :)
awwww thanks.
I'm going to fuck that nerd
do you see simon as primarily a dom, sub, or switch? i feel like it could go any way (dont even get me started on what simon 2 and simon 3 would get up to in pathos-2 after the launch)
Sub mostly. I feel like he would like to get pegged and would cry at orgasm. Probably the type to moan loudly so you gotta give him a gag hehe. Bottom as hell, I feel like he would be nervous so you also gotta hop on it. (Of course lust might get to him and maybe....switch it up.) In my opinion at least. Sorry for the lack of activity.
ONTOS
Reveal Trailer
Website / Steam

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IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW FRICTIONAL GAME JEGFYCUJFFJCUTZHXHCFHCHCH
I kinda lowkey hope theres a tiny lil soma reference in there. Maybe a lil computer that sounds like simon. Or maybe his voice actor coming back as a new character. that would be so cool.
Translucent Xenomorph (Prototype by H.R. Giger)