sorry for yearning crimes

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

every day i get a little madder about the ‘dream job’ narrative… all i want is to have a job that benefits society somewhat, doesn’t abuse me, and lets me live a happy life outside of my job lol. jobs should not be (and arguably can’t be) cosmic destinies and identities

everyday i mourn that my parents did not make me study five languages during my critical window of language acquisition (2 to 7 years)

rule of thumb is you do not think about your life on a sunday. that is the devil talking

I'm waiting for him to explain to me how his newfound love of drag allowed him to prove I killed my business partner

(guy who has forgotten the words "public domain"") mikey mouse is free use

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

a cd for breakfast and a dvd for lunch

[ID: David Lynch smoking a cigarette. /end ID.]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal

trick me once shame on you. shame on you. shame on you shame on you i hate you. i ltierally trusted you.

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

20 years ago, it was a scandal that Google started to track which links you clicked on the search-results page,