Constant Fuck Up

So a LOT has changed in the last year!! I left tumblr without a trace and spent the last year or so really doing everything in my power to try to better myself as a person! Its been a lot of self reflection and self realisation. So many things have changed in my life and its been for the better!                   ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------As some of you who have been following me for a while know I used to be in a horrible mental state. I knew that I was depressed but I had no idea how bad it was. I hated myself and It was to the point where most days I just couldnt find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I thought that I couldnt handle life anymore and I planned to commit suicide. I left a post on tumblr saying goodbye to everyone and what I planned to do. Some people that know me in the real world saw the post and stopped me before I did anything drastic. I stayed away from tumblr to keep away from things that might trigger me and ended up abandoning it entirely. I took about a year to get myself together before coming back to tumblr.                                           -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Leaving all the distractions and triggers behind was one of the best choices Ive ever made. I focused on bettering myself as a person and trying to stay positive no matter what hit me. I tried to trick myself into thinking I was happy at first by forcing myself to smile and to fight against my depression. After awhile I didnt have to force it anymore and my positivity changed my life entirely. To top everything off and really try to better myself I made changes in my life that allowed me to avoid triggers almost entirely and I told myself I would quit cutting. It was horrible at first because Its all I would think about when I was sad. As each day went on without cutting I started to think about it less and less until it got to the point where it barely crosses my mind anymore.  Im currently 1 year and 2 months clean from self harm                               and I dont plan to stop any time soon!                                --------------------------------------------------------------------------------After a year of avoiding the negitive and trying to better myself Im now back on tumblr but for a different reason. I want to tell people my story and hopefully along the way help people who were in the same sinking ship I was in, I want to not only SAY that things will get better but I want to be living proof of it. Life gets SO much better but you cant just wait for it to happen. To have to MAKE it happen!                                                             --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Despite everything Ive been through I ended up coming out on top. I still have to fight my depression and I probably always will but the battle gets easier every day. Im in my senior year of high school and  I have a beautiful and amazing girlfriend named Gail who is always there for me. She is just the right amount of understanding and comforting but she also can get on my ass about things if I need it. I was in a really terrible place for awhile and i just needed to get away from everything but now Im feeling a million times better and being with Gail is not only making me FEEL better but she really inspires me to be a better person