I GOT IT!

"did you need anything? other than to guilt trip me for being a bitch before noon?" it was as close to an apology as andie was capable of giving. "you're kind of freaking me out that the staff was running my equipment into the ground while i was gone."

"no, i think i'm good for now. thank you! although, i wasn't trying to guilt trip you and i don't think you were being a bitch." he offered andie a soft smile. "they were doing a stellar job while you were gone, don't worry. i just felt bad they gave you the first shift of the day."

“Alright,” he paused, looking down at Slim Shady ( he has now had the pup for at least two weeks), “you are going to have to be on your be-…are you listening to me?” Slim Shady was not listening to Dario, in fact, he was more focused on trying to nip at Dario’s heel for not picking him up to see what was on the kitchen counter. “You’re nothing but trouble, little dude. Come on,” he chuckled, bending down to scoop the little guy in his arms, “I guess it’s not really polite to talk down to you, huh?” Whimpers and little wiggles are Slim’s response. “Yeah, yeah. I’m getting things going, okay? Look, I need you to be in your best behavior. We have company over today and we need to focus on getting stuff on paper for our future.”

He looked at the pup who could give two tail wags about whatever Dario was yapping about because all he wanted was the food that his human was preparing for him. And Dario just chuckled while shaking his head, giving the pup a little kiss on his head, lowering Slim Shady and food bowl to the ground.

Like father, like pup. Always hungry, always with theatrics.

Now that Slim was taken care of, Dario looked around to see if he was missing anything for his unofficial date night with Jamir. Snacks, drinks, television on low volume (for now), fort set up, a homemade pizza in the oven. His place was more tidy than usual, everything seemed more organized, like he had put a little more extra effort into making the place look nice. It was because he had, though he wasn’t to sure why he suddenly felt like his place needed to be more tidy for Jamir. It’s not like he has ever cared what Jamir thought about his place whenever he came over, in fact, he has definitely had it turned inside out on some of his visits. He told himself it was probably just because they were future business partners now, absolutely not because the word date hung in the back of his mind, and he just needed to be more grounded in everything if Jamir was going to take him seriously. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less.

then came his outfit. he didn't want it to seem like he was trying too hard, but he also wanted to put in some effort. he threw on a pair of dark blue jeans and then some brown loafers. on top, he wore an oversized beige sweater with a tank top underneath in case he needed to take it off. it's not like the weather really mattered.

he probably brushed his teeth twice before finally pulling himself out of his own apartment and over to dario's. luckily his hair wasn't long, otherwise he would have been late getting ready. as he glanced down at his wrist before knocking on the door, he waited two whole minutes. that way he would be right on time. not too late, but also not too early. he didn't want to seem like he was desperate or putting the other man out. he rolled his shoulders back several times to try and relax his own nerves. he could do this. it was just a meeting with his business partner, right? brainstorming new ideas and hanging out...

He grins. The offer is kind - as are most things Jamir does. Easy's tempted to say no, if only to give the guy some kind of break from all the charitable acts he does, but at the same time, he's not exactly in a place where he can say no.

"Hell yeah, dude, I'll let you know. We're still polishing off that script, but as soon as we start filming, I'm calling you in on that favor. You seem like you could hold up a boom mic."

Easy's eyes soften and he bumps his shoulder against Jamir's. "Okay, man. I'm just checking. You do so much for everyone else, you feel?"

if he has to clear that up with her, then he would. he knows that easy likes to stir the pot sometimes. not that he can blame him either. he keeps colossal on its toes every now and then and gives the people something to talk about.

"whatever you need i'm your guy. doesn't just have to be on werewolf nights." is he making a mental note to go back home and research what a boom mic is? yes. along with anything else that he might be able to help with.

for now, he just smiles and nods though. happy to be of use in some way. "i feel you, thanks for checking. don't worry though. my support system's tight. including you."

Merritt picks up two pineapples, identical in almost every way, and inspects them thoroughly before choosing the one on the right. She hums, adding it to the cart as she listens to the book pitch. "Okay, so true, so like, a self-help sort of thing? With like relationships? That sounds verrry deep and fulfilling. I have to go back and finish bell hooks' Wounds of Passion before I get into anything new, but def adding that to the list."

Plums are added to the cart next, and a papaya for good measure. They aren't the best looking - Ohio isn't exactly the best place to get fresh tropical fruits - but they'd work well enough for the message being sent.

"Ugh, I've been so focused on getting the book club spread I completely forgot to ask how you fared at the snow-in. I heard it was, like, totally insane. Spill the deets, immediately." Then, as an afterthought: "Please."

jamir silently watches merritt, trying to see what makes her pick certain fruit over the other. he doesn't consider himself an expert in the matter, so maybe there's something that he can learn. "yeah, i guess you can call it that. ohh what's that one about? i'm going to add it to my list too." he flips his notepad to a blank page, ignore his grocery list for now, and writes down her current read. he does put her name next to it for added measure.

the fruits seem to become a second thought in their conversation. he chuckled softly as he thinks about that night. how it ended up changing from making brownies after a shift to getting stuck in the basement with the others.

"i spent most of the second half of the night just wandering around looking for protein bars. then, when we finally broke free, probably packed too many people in my car that it could have been considered illegal." oh well! "guess that was the talk of the town?"

frankie can't imagine jamir being anything but a good neighbor, but she doesn't bother mentioning it. jamir being a model citizen is pretty much common knowledge, right? to himself included, probably. "you've heard it? does that mean you've never actually seen him, or you just didn't think he was dreamy? if he walked out right now as george of the jungle, i might leave my whole family," she jokes, though whether the joke is her doing that or her having family worth struggling to leave is unknown, even to her. after a generous sip, she asks, "what about you? favorite movie?"

luckily for him, he's not one to shy away from giving someone a compliment. even if it's a celebrity that they'll probably never meet in this small town. "i don't know if i'll leave my whole family for him, but he is attractive. i'd at least take him out for some food. or let him take me out, since he's probably swimming in money and all of that." how much do actors make again? "my top three in different genres are sleepaway camp, babe, and rush hour. what about you?" horror, a family movie, and comedy. he feels like that's a good enough mix.

It shouldn't, this is very much so Jamir like, but Dev is standing in her own shoes and thus, approaching this topic as such.

"I think I'm wrong. I think you're the one who welcomes in the odd stranger in the middle of the woods to the cabin, offer hospitality, and end up dead first."

It's still some form of a compliment.

"And yeah, they'd go out doing what they 'love', but what I'm pointing out is the trope of what they love being their Achilles heel. I won't make it to the end, because I'd try to face it head on, and my overconfidence would—" she visibly cringes, now as she thinks of slasher films and gruesome scenes. "How did we end up here?"

It's her fault.

instead, he just listens. perhaps this conversation can help him survive a horror movie if they're ever in one. show him what he'll do wrong.

"oh come on. you think i'll be all of my day ones in danger for someone that i don't know?" a feigned, shocked, expression washes over his face. almost as if he's hurt. maybe.

"i'm not trying to be the naive optimist in the movie, but maybe you have the strength to actually take them out once and for all." he rolls his shoulders have at the question. jamir actually can't remember what made them move onto this topic. "i think it had something to do with me being a meat shield."

which, his answer still doesn't cange.

"Someone like you?" Dario didn't even register anything else after that comment was made, brows knitting in confusion. "You make it sound like you're a burden or something. You know that's not the case, right? That could never be the case with you, Jamir." He'd remind him of that every chance he got. "Let's give these forts a couple of runs before we invite Vee. Only so that when we do invite him, we would've mastered the art of the fort making. We can do so much. I want to make sure we make him go 'holy shit!' when he gets in here. I'm thinking string lights and stuff...yeah." He chuckles, "And, no, I highly doubt anyone is going to be interrogating you about me anytime soon. But just in case....ya know." His gaze follows Jamir's up to the ceiling as he talks about Sleepaway Camp and he chuckles at the Jason comment. "I mean...I guess there really is no way for him to know. Just don't be slutty at Camp Crystal Lake, I guess? But now, where is the fun in that?" He joked, chuckling a bit.

He hadn't thought Jamir was serious about a date, in fact, he had honestly not given it too much thought when he said the word. But at Jamir's next comment, Dario's curiosity starts to creep up. He was about to ask him something, but then he's distracted at the mention of the list. "Deal. I’ll try to keep it short. But you’re right, we do have to get to know each other more. We’ll start with snacks. Also,” he smiles, softly, “thank you, Jamir. You and Vee have always been really good to me. I can’t for the day we all become roommates.” It still blew his mind that they lived floors apart from each other but even that felt too far sometimes. "Embrace the chaos. Not many people tell me that, you know? But...okay. I think I can do that."

he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand, chewing down on his cheek momentarily. he didn't want this to become a pity party, but sometimes he did wonder if people liked having him around or if he was annoying. "thanks for that, d, really. i know i can be too much sometimes." the idea seemed good enough for him. thankfully, vee had his own business to take care of so they'd probably all have to settle on a date in the future anyway. "we're going to impress him. especially since i always keep this living room looking like a waiting room in a hospital." he was only half joking. it was always just as clean, but he did try to make it more comfortable. "we'll see what happens in the future, i guess." he chuckled softly, nodding at both the plan but also the comment. "i guess just don't be slutty while he's watching."

if they were going to be business partners and roommates soon, then they were going to have a lot of time to get to know each other. jamir knew that he would still have to run the idea by harvey, but he couldn't picture anything that would prevent the three of them from living together. obviously, the place that they would get would be bigger. at least three-bedrooms. "we'll make a whole menu of our favorites and vee's. that way, we know what to always keep in stock when we're all living together." he smiled softly, but shook his head slowly. "that's nothing you have to thank me on. you know that we're going to always be here for you, right?" then a laugh escaped his lips. "we're going to need that chaotic mind of yours for ideas."

He is pleasantly surprised by Jamir’s response to his movie guy question. He had expected comedy, action was a bit of a surprise. And the reasoning also surprised him because he didn’t think Jamir, or anyone, paid that much attention to what he liked or didn’t like. “Well, yeah, you’re spot on. Horror, comedy, action. That’s my go to. Sometimes I like romcoms too but that’s our secret. Don’t go telling people I have a romantic in me,” he teased, softly chuckling. He reaches for one of the garlic pieces with the taco toppings on it to give it a try as he listened to Jamir. Of course the garlic bread taco invention was delicious, why wouldn’t it be? By this point Dario was fully convinced there was nothing Jamir could do that would be anything short of perfect. “Plus, I think as long as you’re not having sex Jason doesn’t kill you. Isn’t that like some horror movie unwritten rule? Sex equals death? Sleepaway Camp didn’t seem to care. You’re just fucked.” He thinks for a second, before blurting, “wait so like…if you’re a virgin and you go to Camp Crystal Lake, and Jason only kills nonvirgins, would you just be hang out on the camp grounds as he went on a murder spree? Does he just give you a nod and carry on?” He can’t help but to laugh at how ridiculous he sounded.

The word date doesn’t even fully register to Dario, and even when it does, he does not think twice about it. He simply laughs a bit more, and teasingly says, “I mean, Jamir, if you wanted to ask me on a date that’s all you had to do.” One thing about Dario? He was oblivious at the best and worst of times. But it was also probably a good thing because if he had any inkling that Jamir was serious then…well, who knows. “But, yes, we can totally do this. This is going to be the best. Tell me your favorite snacks and drinks. Do you know Harvey’s favorite snacks? I need to make sure I stock up on them so we can have some for our next fort movie date night. And if I am going to be coming over more often then I want to make sure I get Harvey a little something for the troubles of me interrupting you guys roommate time.” Maybe he could even use some movies as inspo for Easy’s film, perhaps some ideas would pop out at him to give to his friend. “But I think you’re the genius with the creations, man. I’m just chaotically creative at best.” Aaaand he smoked a lot of weed so some of that could’ve inspired a bit of his creations tonight. He didn’t know if Jamir was aware that he was one of Harvey’s customers and he didn’t really want to shine light on it because he wasn’t too sure if that was okay. For some reason, out of all the things between the two of them, that’s the one thing he donate to overthought.

romcoms honestly feel like a guilty pleasure for him. mainly because he never admits that he'll sit through a full one and actually enjoy it too. “your secret is safe with me. not that i think anyone's going to interrogate me on what your tastes in movies are.” unless people are watching jamir while he's watching dario. it's a strange time to be in colossal. he doesn't even remember when this crush started to build up, but it's something that he can't deny anymore. no matter how hard he tries to push it out of his mind. “in most movies, that's why the couples or the slut always dies first. there's always someone that's going while they're fully naked.” then he nods slightly. “that doesn't matter at sleepaway camp though, you're right. everyone's an equal opportunity murder.” he thinks about the theory quite seriously, eyes looking up at the ceiling for a brief moment. “maybe? although i don't know how he'll confirm if you're realyl a virgin though…” not that he thinks anyone in colossal is going to be safe anyway.

he's such an idiot for letting that word slip out. he's already mentally cursing himself and making sure that he doesn't do it again. dario's reaction seems to mellow him out a bit though, making him relax in the fort. “no way, man. if i ask you out on a date, it's going to be full on a romantic proposal. i wouldn't do it in my living room.” he seems to have given that some thought, but he might be revealing a little too much already. so he quickly tries to focus on the other topics of conversation. “i'll make you a list and tell you which ones are mine and which ones are his favorites. only if you tell me which ones are yours so that we can have all of that information laid out. business partners should get to know each other, right? you're not a trouble though. not to me and not to vee. i'm sure of that.” if his roommate has a problem with the man coming over more and more, than that's something they'll have to talk about with each other. “every mad scientist has been able to accomplish all of their great ideas because of the mad part. don't undersell your chaos. it'll come in handy, trust me.” jamir tries his best to uplift the other in that regard. 

eyes light up at the large bucket of new popcorn. she takes it without further niceties, her shoulders rising contentedly as she takes a bite. "are you kidding? sit, sleep, bring a girl back. do whatever you want, extra popcorn gets you all the points. have you seen this movie?" she speaks around little bites of buttered goodness, her mood clearly transformed by the offering. "it gets a bad rep, but brendan fraser is really dreamy," she sighs thoughtfully, then shifts her attention to the slushie in his hand, looking between the cup and his face. "can i...?"

then he settles down in the seat and stretches out his legs. jamir doesn't know when the last time he got to relax like this was, so he's going to take advantage of it. "all i want to do is sit, so at least you'll have a good neighbor for the movie." he points out. then he shakes his head, answering with his body before his words. "sadly i haven't, but it's been on my list! i've heard he's a total dreamboat in it but so is everyone else." his smile only widens when he sees were frankie's eyes land. "knock yourself out." jamir reaches his hand out, handing her the slushie.

He's surprised to hear that Jamir didn't take him for a horror movie kind of guy. "What kind of guy did you take me for?" He asked, curiously. If he had to guess he would say comedy, but he was very curious to know what Jamir's answer would be. "Aw, man. Sleepaway Camp is a great fucking film. Okay, tell me, which camp do you think is worse to be stuck at? Call me crazy, but I think I would survive Crystal Lake over Sleepaway Camp. Also, solid choices with Rush Hour and Babe. You know what? We should have fort night movie nights. I swear we don't have to have a buffet of food every time. I'll even bring the snacks next time! What do you say?" His memories of forts had always been just himself in his own world, even as a kid, even in his own little world he was alone. He didn't know how to voice it but he was happy to think that there could possibly be more nights like this.

“You like it? Yes! I’m no whiz. You’re just inspiring, man.” Dario laughed softly, feeling a sense of pride knowing it wasn't a complete bust of a creation. When Jamir mentioned the texture being a little weird, he nodded in agreement, glancing down at the pizza. “Yeah, I think that’s the only thing that would stop me from making a whole spaghetti pizza,” he admitted with a thoughtful hum. “Otherwise? Surprisingly, it’s not too bad.” He took another bite, chewing with a satisfied little nod. “Honestly, if we ever put this on the menu at our future maybe we just make the garlic bread our pizza.”

He kept picking at the food, alternating between different things. When Jamir asked if he was having fun, Dario didn’t even hesitate. “Yeah,” he said, smiling over at him. “I’m having a blast. I always am when you’re around.” He imagined that there would never be a time that would ever change, at least not for him. Eventually he ends up slowing down with the food, glancing at the still impressive amount of food left between them. “Man… I think I’m going take a small break,” he chuckled, sinking deeper into the pillows and stretching his legs out a bit. “Do you want to start the movie?"

when he thinks about the genres that he would have associated with the other prior to their conversation, the choices are easy. “comedy and action. i know that you just like to laugh sometimes and probably don't want to watch something that's too boring.” he quickly shuts up, eating one of his new creations. jamir doesn't want to make it seem like he's been studying his friend or watching too closely. “sleepaway camp is definitely the scariest one. sure, crystal lake has its moments, but it's one man trying to get revenge and normally goes for the bully type. i say it's a date!” there he goes, shoving another garlic taco topping creation into his mouth to shut up. once he's done chewing, he finally speaks again. “i mean, uh, i'm totally down! we can even pick a cadence and put it in our calendars. i'll get us some more movies!”

he nods slightly while reaching out for one of the napkins, wetting it a bit with some of the water, and wiping his hands and mouth clean. “yeah, you have a brilliant mind when it comes to your creations.” there's not one that they've had that night where he doesn't want to have ever again. then again, he trusts dario wholeheartedly to never steer him in the wrong direction. “you're a genius. who wouldn't love a garlic bread pizza?” vee could probably get some if his clients in. that's totally a weed food, right?

there's a sense of relief that washes over him when he realized the other is actually having fun. good. he doesn't want this to be boring or anything. a blush creeps up on his cheeks at the other comment though. “oh come on. i'm sure you say that to all of the guys.” he playfully rolls his eyes and reaches over for the remote. “i think i'm going to do the same. if i eat anymore, i'm going to have to unbutton my pants.” he laughs softly while starting the movie up. “let's go for it! one serving of practical magic, coming up.”

( It helps that he keeps the secrets he's learned. )

"Been kind of focused on my movie stuff, man. You might have to get another news source because I'm bone dry. Try my sister." She'd have real news, too; Junia always knew when big trouble was brewing in town. He wonders if Jamir would be susceptible to being kidnapped for one of Junia's stakeouts for her articles - if maybe he hadn't already been on one.

Easy shakes his head. "No way, dude. I love Portal, but Petey can't squeeze any more out of me than he already does." Honestly, Easy could stand to pick up a few hours. "Does anyone ever offer to bring you lunch and waters, Jamir?"

"i'm sure junia has enough information to make your movie double the time with some more inspiration." he chuckles softly as he thinks about what both siblings probably know about those in colossal. "how's the movie going by the way? if you need any help with it, you know that i can support wherever needed." he's not an actor or director, but he's an extra pair of hands.

he nods slightly, glancing back over at the screen. "that doesn't mean he's not going to try to do just that thought." everyone wants a slice of easy. "yes, they do actually. at least some do."

it's cold. she shivers slightly and buries her face deeper into her scarf. should they be preparing for tonight? probably yes. but is she? no. they wanted to be outdoors, having some fun before tonight. besides, they had more than enough time to prepare. it's still early, so she can get any last jitters out with the free ice skating. they borrowed a pair of skates from their older sister, and they're hanging by their laces by their side.

spotting someone familiar in the crowd near the hot chocolate booth, they grin. she's bounding up to them ( still too much energy that needs to be released ), smile spread across their face. "hey!" she's exclaiming, moving to take their arm in one of hers. "you're here to help me skate, yeah?" they ask the person, grinning at them.

so when pippa walks up to him, he smiles widely at seeing a familiar face. "hey right back at you!" he tosses his empty cup in the trash and links his arm with theirs. "of course. you know i'm an ice skating pro by now." he starts walking closer to the rink, looking over at her. "well, not a pro, but at least i'm sturdy."

Out of anyone and everyone in Colossal, Jamir is at the very bottom of the list of people that should end up in that position. He’s definitely at the bottom of the list of people who deserve it. There’s got to be enough good karma in the universe to make sure he never ends up in the line of danger.

Dev almost thinks she would have to be there to stand in the way of it.

Still, she smiles teasingly at him, her one brow arched in challenge. Even when he essentially surrenders in this hypothetical.

"Please, you’d make it far enough as the voice of reason, and the emotional support, until the very end. Then your death would motivate the survivors— not Dario, because the goofball always goes, and not Easy, because he would be murdered mid-make-out—" She pauses then and taps her chin. "—Frankie would make it pretty far, but she’d go out, probably a merciful death too. CJ. He would be the one who’d make it out. Him or Milo."

That thought process is a lot more fun than thinking about a maybe. Maybe she’d get out of Colossal by time she’s thirty. Maybe she could chase something bigger than working at Tantrum.

still, a part of him thinks that devon actually won't want to hit him, but he knows that he won't stop her if she does. after all, if that's what she needs to get out of her system then so be it. when the time comes, it's probably because he did something to deserve it. she's pretty fair that way.

is he talking himself up to getting punched? probably.

he chuckles softly at how serious she seems to be taking this topic. almost believing everything she's saying because of her confidence alone.

"at least that means i played an important part in helping some of you make it all the way to the end." jamir laughs, thinking about how the fool and flirt would meet their ultimate demise. "at least they both would have fun on their way out. doing what they loved and all of that." he agrees about frankie, nodding at dev's comment. "deserves all the mercy, i would say." after the survivors are mentioned, he nudges her arm a bit. "maybe you'd make it out with them too."

he can't deny her thought process once more. when he was eighteen, he thought he was going to get out for good and ultimately end up as a veterinarian. nearly ten years later, he's still stuck in a similar place.