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@warridden-blog
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❛ my body is its own EARTHQUAKE, my bones are tectonic plates. where i am now, in this moment in my life, i should feel invincible — instead, all i can feel are the bones of my rib cage diverging and converging to PIERCE my chest. i want to write but i can barely breathe. (breathe just breathe just breathe). ❜
THEDARKNESSTOHISLIGHT:
’ I’M NOT CRYING. ’
she says as she wipes tears from her eyes with the back of a wearied knuckle. the hours, the DAYS when he’s gone are unlike any torture that she had faced, like a poisoned blade dragging across her heart over & over again. ana would feed herself on nothing but worry & the thoughts of what would happen were steve to never return home.
but he had. he had, he had, he had.
’ give me a hug, you big idiot. ’
❛ no, just sweating. from your eyes. ❜ the guilt gnawing at his nerves makes it difficult for steve to feel any relief for his return, and it's not even for himself. the idea that a prod at her ribs might lessen the weight of it starts to seem like a poor one as soon as it's out. but he knows how this works. he can't take back the missing time, do away with it as he'd like. can't fill in the spaces like they were never empty, and he can't swallow whatever nonsense spills from his lips when he turns up again. but he does know how to envelope ana's much more petite frame in sore arms, to pull her close enough that it'd only be a matter of time before the warmth of his body started to bleed into hers. that's something he can do. ❛ need a towel, or do you think you can manage? ❜
MARTYRIOU:
he embodies PACIFISM to the best of his ability, strife undoubtedly unnecessary, as well as a factor he would much rather prefer to deter from. ❛ though i find the term SUBJECTIVE, i would consider myself as such. you are what humans consider a ‘super hero’, are you not ? ❜
❛ isn't that the point? ❜ how else were they expected to form trust for ' visitors ' they knew almost nothing about? the solution seemed almost adolescent in steve's mind. tactical infiltration. you get in, you get what you need, and you get out. getting on whoever's good side you needed to be on was one of the easiest ways in. ❛ i don't know about super hero. i gotta admit, it's a little subjective. ❜
martyriou
it's clear in the merge of his brows that there's a battle brewing in steve's mind. found in the tense line that his stance, heels firm to the ground. he's not seeking out a fight, but he's not opposed coming to his own defensive, should their encounter spiral in the direction of one. not that tumbling with an alien robot was on his bucket list. ❛ so. you're one of the good guys? ❜

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okay so I know I was awol for a couple months and that was tooootally not cool whatsoever but while I was away I couldn’t help but want a thread where someone finds steve’s old films and he catches them watching (and possible making fun of) them and yes please
“ I DON’T LIKE BULLIES. ”
previously soldierstrust ( ART CRED )
FACADEFATALITY:
and she orders the drink she desires before looking towards the male sat beside her, a smile creeping onto her lips. she ran her slim fingers through her raven hair, gazing back at the bartender as she watched the male order his drink. after he was done, she couldn’t HELP but feel like it was her job to squaddle in his business.
’ rough day, huh ? ‘
beneath him is a stool that has presumably seen better days ---- its cushion not much of what you'd expect out of one, the leather taut around it bearing its wear without pride. steve suspects creases to form into the press of his pant the moment he seats himself, and it's not something he'll enjoy ironing out later. his flesh, muscle, bone -- they all begin to seep the second he allows relaxation to take hold, a palm flicking up in order when bartender and patron's eyes meet. his attention shifts gradually at the perk of a neighboring voice, slump of shoulders following suit. ❛ was i that obvious? ❜
ʙᴏᴅʏ ᴡᴀs ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ʙʟᴜᴇ
COMPROMISEDASSET:
for such a composition of written information to be in his friend’s POSSESSION, he would be more surprised if it was revealed that two flesh hands hadn’t flipped through the pages to DRINK in whatever knowledge he could about the winter soldier. about him. facts that are scrawled in pen or typed on these pages are unbeknownst to him, but steve knows every little thing.
once or twice. once or TWICE the blond has braved what can only be horrors between the front and back covers of this manila folder, yet bucky’s been CONFINED to ignorance concerning his past. he’s incapable of determining whether he should be angry for that or not. on the one hand, steve’s visage isn’t lending anything that might lead him to believe that there are PLEASANT things waiting for him on yellowed, wrinkled sheets. withholding this information could certainly have been meant as a form of PROTECTION.
on the opposite digits, however, the former asset doesn’t see how hiding his history from him, however NIGHTMARISH, does him any good or is supposed to win the captain any favors. realizing just how much he’s LOST thanks to invasive procedures and the intermittent drone of static at his temples ( not to mention the PAIN that came with it ) had taken him a while, and he’s near certain that he’s too DAMAGED to recover it. but knowing that there are fragments preserved in a file about his inception is enough to make him want to indulge, the cost probably being rather high. he might not recall things empirically, but would at least be able to PIECE some things together. maybe make a little more sense of his chaotic state of mind.
❛ no, i haven’t. not ——— not yet. ———— i wasn’t sure if i wanted to. ❜
spinning the cover back around to face himself, hues linger on the russian print, considering his OPTIONS here. certainly, he could leave it be ( especially when he sees steve’s expression, which is rather difficult to distinguish, but bucky thinks it might be a little disturbed ) . but it’s ACCESSIBLE, in his hands, his grasp, and honestly, he doesn’t want to let it go.
a defunct memory attempting to piece back together a past that didn’t exist anymore, efforts in VAIN but dangerous all the same, was exactly why he’d been wiped time and time again. that possibility doesn’t exist here, for every fraction of his history to be torn away and for his mentality to be sent back to SQUARE ONE. what he knows about himself is up to personal discretion, and though he knows that what lies inside could lead to further REGRET, he deems his anguish for the things he’s done as deserved. almost like personal punishment of sorts.
digits flip over the cover after glancing at the blond for a quick moment, and he plans on reading this in its E N T I R E T Y, even with a pounding heart and anticipation for irreparable blame.
the dig of plastic to a rough palm feels insistent, a distant reminder of the dairy steve's all but forgotten. the act of putting it away was slid to a back burner once he'd crossed into a state of confrontation. only this, the stiff air between the two of them, couldn't really be contained with that one word. it was less, but it felt like more, and it was steve's every dread. the pace of his heart could be felt clearly not only against his ribs but within the fingers hardly fighting the strain of a grocery bag, bold and with a false sense of measurement bucky would surely recognize if he were aware of it.
that consideration alone trips another in the blond's mind that has his feet carrying him elsewhere, anywhere that will replace bucky from his immediate line of sight. two steps later and he's centimeters from knocking knees with a coffee table, the other scarce in his peripheral vision. the thought of him not being aware of as much as he used to sets a new weight in steve as the one in his hand is lost, settled to wood that takes it without a creak of protest.
bucky's aware, of a load of things half the world wouldn't recognize. of tactics, weaponry, and, unsuprisingly, the art of assissination, to name a few. but himself? that's one thing that takes a little more thought to add to the list than steve would care for. a little more than he'd prefer was necessary. but he's bucky, always has been. not a doubt in steve's mind could convince him that the file currently tampering with what normalcy they've built could explain that to him. it's scribed with ' the winter soldier ' for a reason.
❛ what if you don't like what you find out? ❜

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ONCERUSSIIAN:
❝Rogers ! I just stubbed my toe on your SHIELD. If you’re not careful with that thing I’m HURLING it at your head.❞
❛ you sure you're not the one who needs to be more careful? ❜
listening to europe is apparently the best way to cope with having a not-so-spectacular day.
NOTDEADJARHEAD:
a shoulder collision is all it takes for the wolf to spin around, fists clenched & eyes narrowed. he deserves the respect of an apology. america was a lot different than iraq was, especially the manners.
❝ dude, what the fuck is your—- ❞
he freezes. like actually freezes mid sentence, heart thudding unmercilessly in his chest, he suspects it’s going to burst out of his chest any second.
❝ captain— oh my god. sir, i’m sorry i was—- ❞
calloused hand unclench & he brings his right hand up to his forehead into a salute, back straight & ankles together. steve rogers is a war hero, if anyone deserves any kind of respect it’s him.
❝ corporal camden lahey— it’s truly a pleasure, sir. ❞
WHAT'S BOTHERSOME IS THE FAMILIARITY the following atmosphere presents -- or it should be. the blunt impact doesn't do much to steve's balance, not more than his stride affected. the outburst is what catches him, its fever scalding pieces of himself left untouched since who can remember when. ( he can, but the effort should be just as discontinued. ) old habits die hard, but are harder to kill ---- so when he veers, the expression he wears is wholly prepared to sharpen into something defensive. the reaction he receives in response manages to wither that.
his head has bowed the moment opposing heels snap, stare absent for a moment of time before they've returned to grace acknowledgment. ❛ that's not - ❜ necessary. obligatory. imperative. all of one poison, no pick needed lest he choose not to, at all. he does. in another time, on another day, he may have returned such a gesture. to muffle the voice snide enough to remind him he should would be too busy amidst the many others he's attempted to quiet, just today. ❛ corporal. ❜ in hopes that a mere nod will relax him, steve provides one of stern permission for him to do so. a stand-in at ease.
❛ looks like i'll need to pay more attention to where i'm going, from now on. sorry about that. ❜
dear natasha romanoffs: come to me, please.

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EYEXOFTHESPIDER:
& it’s with a laugh, that he fills the ( a i r ) between them. the stitch in his side, elicited by the presence of its most literal form. there’s a cautious breath, there, amdist the following silence, yet the manner in which his head r o l l s to its side remains UNAFFECTED.
❛ —- well, i had a G O O D time. you have a good time ? ❜
LABORED ARE BREATHS DIRTIED BY disturbed earth, the air corrupt by their own doing. just a drag of it leaves his throat as scathed as his body ---- welts increasing in formation as seconds tick on, utilizing this period of victory to blossom without protest or further jostling. a shift in position brings his spine near to shrieks, forearm braced to uplifted knee as it hunches.
❛ not really. ❜
CHLOROKINESIIS:
❛ —- It is an honour to meet you, Captain. ❜
Who would have thought of ALL the guest speakers Principal Powers would call in to the school, he would be the one?
❛ i feel like i should be the one telling you that. ❜
MINUS THE CAPTAIN. OR AT LEAST IT wasn't one of the titles his ears had beared witness to being thrown, here. here, where there was a distinct difference between heroes and sidekicks, there was no certainty to what else may be heard. he'd only just made it through his speech, afterall. there was plenty of night left for him to proven wrong. ❛ it's an impressive set up you've got up here. ❜