Sup

Jason: There's only one rule

Jason: You have to have a spleen to get in

Batman: [stumbles in]

Pizza maker: [concerned] “you need help?”

Batman: [rips off cowl] “it’s fucking hot today”

Pizza maker: “cowl?? Cowl? Batman? Wayneman? Why???”

Bruce: [gives side eye] “don’t play dumb. Who else orders pizza without cheese with BBQ and pineapple on it?”

Enter the managers of the competing pizzerias, who are secretly hanging out after hours in a Romeo and Juliet-style forbidden love between competing chain restaurants, and suddenly the topic of weirdest pizza orders comes up.

Chain A worker: yeah so I think the weirdest order I ever got was for bruce wayne. He asked for 3 large pizzas with no sauce, stacked on top of each other, and a gallon of ranch on the side. What a weird guy, eh?

Chain B worker: oh my god Batman ordered the same thing from us last week! What a coincidence!

Chain A: …

This lol

kate mckinnon, weirdly drawn to him for some reason: go on.

(may i just interject and say red hood is played by jason todd, who introduces himself as bruce wayne’s assistant and bruce, who didn’t know jason was there, has to go like ‘yes he is, i don’t go anywhere without my loyal assistant todd’)

(jason smoking weed with pete davidson like 5 minutes later: ‘no i’m actually bruce wayne’s dead son, but i came back so it’s fine’)

(bruce, also smoking weed with pete davidson: ‘oh shit really? you don’t look very much like my dead son’)

Eldest daughter syndrome

Daddy issues

White

Bad bitch disease

Age 13