Jazz's Journal
Entry #10
October 18, 2004
It's Casper High Spirit Week, and you know what that means. Pep rallies, themed dress-up days, competitions, and a big speech we do every year that I'll be headlining. You know, the usual stuff that most high schools do to try and do something fun for the students and boost school pride. Most of the people at school seem to be enjoying it so far, and I would be, too, if it wasn't for one thing that's been nagging at the back of my mind these past few weeks.
You see, I've always loved spirit week. As an aspiring Psychologist, it's a great opportunity for me to practice helping out those who might be struggling, as well as spread school cheer as far and wide as I can. It usually works pretty well for me, and there's nothing more satisfying to me than being able to lift someone's mood and bring optimism back into their life. My brother, Danny, though, has been the toughest one to crack so far, and it's making me more worried each day, especially now.
Just as I feared, his mental health doesn't seem to be improving. He's still struggling in school, and he's acting like he's carrying a newfound burden that wasn't there before and it's too much. Not to mention how physically drained he is a lot of the time. When he's not at school or out with his friends, I'll often walk by his room and see him completely passed out on his bed, like he'd been out fighting literal battles or something. And the energy he gives off now is just...different. I don't even know how to describe it. It's almost...otherworldly, in a way. Kind of like a part of him has died and he's lost his sense of self.
I think he might be depressed, in which case, he needs me. I know I can help him, but he keeps trying to push me away, insisting that everything's fine. But I know my brother, and I know my psychology. I know a struggling teen when I see one, and I will get to the bottom of whatever has been troubling him, because as his big sister, there's nothing he can hide from me.
----------------------------------------------------
I went to Mr. Lancer today to express my concerns regarding Danny. I want to talk to him myself, but knowing him, he'll just think I'm being bossy. But if he doesn't talk to somebody, I worry that all those bottled up emotions could boil over and cause him to lash out. At his age, his mind is very fragile right now, so this is the best time to act. Sure enough, we found him alone in the new guidance counselor's office, and it was a wreck. Yep, we're definitely gonna have a talk before this escalates any further, so we're having him see the new counselor, Penelope Spectra. I've never met her before, so I don't know what to expect, but hopefully she's got the skills to help Danny. She seems to be our best shot right now.
----------------------------------------------------
Well, that didn't go as planned. Danny was already in an antsy mood when he found him, and now he's gonna get punished for wrecking the office. He got mad at me for drawing attention to him and called me a fink, then stormed out. Great, guess it's back to square one. And I don't know what Miss Spectra's deal was, but it was cold as a morgue in there! Apparently she thinks it helps warm the mind? Whatever that means. I could literally see my own breath, it was ridiculous. But Mr. Lancer insisted she's one of our top motivational speakers and I should give her a chance.
She then introduced me to her assistant, Bertrand. I gave him a friendly smile and wave, but he just looked at me with a flat, cold expression. This was getting more and more awkward by the minute. I have a really uneasy feeling about this, that's for sure. And the plan she had for my speech was really over-the-top, too. She told me that once I'm finished, they're gonna set off a domino chain that spells out our school, followed by sparklers. Okay, so she's a little overly preppy, but she's kind of my only shot at getting through to Danny right now, so I'll take whatever chance I can get.
----------------------------------------------------
I ran into Danny and his friends in the hallway and just happened to hear the tail end of their conversation. Sam said something didn't sound like Jazz to her, so I asked her what it was. None of them answered, and Danny just looked at me with a scowl. He's still mad at me, clearly, even though I'm just trying to help. I expressed concern that he just hasn't been himself since that mysterious accident a few months ago. To make matters worse, Sam and Tucker are his only friends and he has no extracurricular activities. He spat back at me that it doesn't matter, he's just like this now. Then he started shivering out of nowhere and stormed off again, yelling at me to leave him alone.
This is worse than I thought. But before I could worry any further, a giant green hornet came around a corner and started attacking everyone, then came straight for me! I screamed as it grabbed me, only to be saved by a transparent figure that shouted for it to back off, calling it a ghost bug. Ghost bug? And the figure was a ghost, too? This has already been a wild day, but I was not expecting to encounter two ghosts at the same time!
Unable to resist my curiosity, I snuck over to the window where they flew outside and peeked out. They were battling it out, and on second glance I could see that the other ghost that saved me was clearly a human ghost. It had its back to me, so I couldn't get a good look at its face, but I'm definitely gonna tell Danny about it later! Just not mom and dad. They will have a field day if they find out, and I've had enough of those already.
----------------------------------------------------
I told Danny about the ghost bug. He didn't think it was a ghost, it just looked like a regular bug to him, but apparently it still freaked him out and that's why he ran. I don't believe that. And he still wouldn't listen to me, so I had no choice but to get mom and dad involved. That backfired real quick. Danny stumbled a bit at first at their questioning, but then he snitched about me seeing a ghost at school today to deflect attention away from him! Oh great, just great! Mom freaked out, of course, demanding to know why I didn't tell them, and dad whipped out what he called a "Portable Fenton Ghost Peeler" that he wants to try out. This one is supposed to peel ghosts apart atom by atom. How lovely.
He pressed a button on the device and it covered his whole body in some kind of armor. It must have been too heavy, because he lost his balance and went crashing down on our kitchen table, shattering it to bits. Great, that's the third table they've busted over this nonsense. I honestly don't know how we still have money. Danny then walked off and left me alone with them. Ugh. Nice going, brother. This is why I didn't tell them...
----------------------------------------------------
October 19, 2004
It's day two of me trying to find out what's going on with Danny. I managed to corner Sam and Tucker in the hallway when he wasn't around and see if they knew anything, but they wouldn't budge. Tucker just said that as Danny's friends, they're not gonna spill any secrets, not even to me. So that puts me back at square one yet again. To make matters worse, Danny pulled the fire alarm just then and got sent back to see Miss Spectra for another session. That was it for me. Danny's getting in too much trouble now, and I won't stand by and let it get worse any longer. I will get him to talk to me, even if it means I have to follow him around all day.
----------------------------------------------------
My hands are shaking as I write this. I feel like my mind is going in a million different directions, and at a million miles per hour. I have so many thoughts, questions, and emotions I don't even know where to begin. Because what I saw today just changed everything. Everything I thought I knew about myself, my life, the world as I know it, and especially Danny.
I found him at the ice cream parlor with his friends and was trying to connect with him and get him to talk to me about how he's been feeling when it happened. He ran off and I gave chase this time. I started to open the door that I saw him run out of, and that's when I saw it.
It happened so fast, my mind could barely keep up. But I can't get it out of my head now. He looked both ways, not realizing I was there, and then there was a flash of light. A pair of rings appeared around his waist and encapsulated him, one moving up his body and the other moving down. As they moved, he changed. His t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers turned into a black and white jumpsuit with white boots and gloves. His black hair turned snow-white, and his blue eyes now glowed green. When the transformation was complete, his legs morphed into a tail and he flew off in a flash, straight into the sky! I couldn't believe it. I gasped under my breath and called out his name, even though he was gone by that point.
My baby brother is a half-ghost! It all makes sense now. The way he would suddenly get nervous when mom and dad presented a crazy new invention for catching ghosts. The exhaustion, the stress, the failing grades, he's been living a secret double life this whole time! And at just 14 years old! No wonder he's been so stressed, that's way too much for a developing mind to handle!
His friends know about it, too. I could tell when they watched Danny take off and showed no signs of surprise, but they panicked as soon as they saw me and immediately tried to brush off my suspicions of what I just saw. I decided in that moment to play dumb and pretend like Sam was right, I was letting my mind play tricks on me. I disappeared around a corner and, once they thought I was gone, quietly followed them to where Danny had gone. Sure enough, he was back in the mall in a nearby store, fighting another ghost while his friends watched!
I feel like such a fool. How did I miss it? The signs were right there in front of me, and I missed them! I'm Jazz Fenton, I never miss signs! Never! How long has this been going on for?! How long has he been suffering in silence from having to keep such a heavy secret because he's too scared to tell mom and dad the truth?
I'm gonna have a quiet talk with him later when he gets back home, but I won't pressure him into telling me. I'd rather he trust me enough to tell me himself. I just want him to know how much I care about him, and I always have his best interests at heart, even if it doesn't seem that way sometimes. I love him, and I feel awful for not seeing what was right in front of me sooner. At this point, I just hope I can earn his trust enough for him to feel comfortable telling me, even if it takes a long time. In the meantime, I'll be watching over him as best I can. I need to protect him not only from who knows how many other ghosts are in this town, but our own parents. I can't let them do something they might regret.
At least he currently has Sam and Tucker for support when I'm not around. I don't know how long they've known, but the three of them are so close and do everything together, it's no wonder they'd be among the first to know. I trust that he's at least a little safer with them around, but regardless, I'll be watching. I can't fail him again. I won't. He'll always have me to cover for him, even if he doesn't know it.
----------------------------------------------------
Sadly, the talk didn't go as planned. I think I at least managed to convince Danny that contrary to what he's heard, I don't think low of him at all, and he can always come to me if he needs someone to talk to. I came so close to getting him comfortable enough to tell me about his powers, but as fate would have it, mom and dad chose that moment to blow a hole through the wall with that stupid Ghost Peeler and obliviously blabber on about how they're gonna find that ghost at my school and "peel it like an onion," then examine its remains.
Perfect. Understandably, Danny didn't want to talk after that, so I had no choice but to let it go for now. I kissed him goodnight and returned to my room, where I'm now gonna try and get some sleep so I can get ready for that speech tomorrow. After everything that's happened, I don't know how I'm gonna sleep, but I have to try. I'm hoping that my speech will be good enough to bring back some school spirit, and maybe even lift Danny's as well. That's my biggest goal.
----------------------------------------------------
October 21, 2004
Well, this sure has been quite a week. One that I don't think I'll ever forget. Somehow it went from me worrying over my little brother like I always do to finding out that he's part ghost. I even got to see him up close in action, but I couldn't let him know that I knew yet.
As it turns out, something happened as I was giving my spirit week speech to a gym full of students who had for some reason become deeply depressed out of the blue. I know now that it was due to Spectra being a ghost who fed on people's misery as a means to stay young, but at that moment, my mind could only process one thing: I almost got killed by two giant laser beams, and my brother saved me in his ghost form.
He took me to an empty room nearby and smiled at me, but before either of us could say anything, an evil-eyed, humanoid shadow figure grabbed him and dragged him away to the next room, most likely to finish him off from the fight they must have been having before Danny saved me. So that was Spectra's true form, huh? I knew it was her as soon as I heard her voice, and she was mocking him, calling him a freak. Danny, my little brother whom up until this point, I thought I knew everything about. But I didn't.
I didn't know he was now a half ghost. I didn't know he'd been balancing such a burden with his friends by his side, or that his growing more distant from me was more than just typical teenage drama. But if there's one thing that I do know about my little brother, even now, is that he is not, and will never be, a freak. He's too brave, self-sacrificial, and kind-hearted to be anywhere close to that. Not to mention he saved me from literally being vaporized in front of the whole school. Now, it was my turn to save him. And luckily, I came prepared.
With dad's Portable Fenton Ghost Peeler at the ready, I immediately pulled the trigger at Spectra and found myself coated from head to toe in its heavy armor. I won't lie, it was a weird feeling and I felt a little ridiculous, but as long as it worked, it didn't matter. Next thing I knew, the laser shot out and stripped Spectra of all the power she'd gained from leeching off of people's misery, leaving her a pathetic, shriveled old woman.
Capturing her in the Fenton Thermos was easy after that. I let Danny do that part, but I saw the fear in his eyes when I approached him afterwards and could tell that he still didn't know that I knew the truth, and I didn't want to risk adding more pressure on him by finding out he'd let it slip without meaning to. No, this was his secret, and his life. For him, I'll wait until he's ready. So I faked being scared of him and ran off.
When I made it back to the auditorium, I was greeted with cheers and high spirits. I spotted Danny in the crowd with his friends, having returned to his human form. He gave me a warm smile and wave, which I returned. Finally, Danny was happy again, and I came home that afternoon with a newfound understanding of his life and his feelings. I even learned a valuable lesson of my own.
See, I take pride in my intelligence. But sometimes, without meaning to, I let that pride turn into arrogance. I used to think I could never be wrong. That if I was wrong, my life would fall apart and everything that I've worked hard for would go into question, like that time I was wrong about dad when he forgot his anniversary with mom again. Yeah, I know, dramatic much? That's Jazz Fenton for you. Miss I'm-the-only-adult-in-this-family even though I'm still 16.
Point is, that arrogance caused me to overlook what was right in front of me. My 14-year-old brother's life was literally split in two. He's not only been using his powers to fight other ghosts, but keeping his alter ego a secret from the rest of us, while also protecting us with all that he has at the same time.
Now I sit at my bedroom window, looking out at the bright, ghostly figure that is Danny, flying high in the night sky. I can see his arms outstretched as he flips and glides, leaving a soft glowing trail in his wake. For once he looks so peaceful, so happy and free. I'll do everything in my own personal power to keep it that way. Whatever it takes, for as long as it takes. It's the least he deserves after everything he's been through.
