Wanderer Threatening

1977: Star Wars is released, featuring, of course, Darth Vader

(Pictured: Darth Vader)

1984: Director Todd Durham releases his Star Wars parody movie, Hyperspace, featuring Darth Vader inspired villain Lord Buckethead.

(Pictured: Hyperspace poster featuring two Jawa-esque aliens flying through space in a shopping trolley.)

1987: Hyperspace is released on video in the UK, under the new title Gremloids.

(Pictured: Gremloids cover in the style of the original Star Wars poster, featuring Lord Buckethead.)

To promote the film, Mike Lee, the owner of the distributing company, ran for parliament as Lord Buckethead. He ran in Margaret Thatcher's constituency, Finchley, in order to get on TV. Lord Buckethead was representing the Gremloids party.

(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with Margaret Thatcher.)

1992: Gremloids is re-released. Lord Buckethead rides again, this time against prime minister John Major in Huntingdon. (Here's a fun fact about Huntingdon: I was born there! :D) 87/92 Buckethead seems to have leaned pretty hard into the space supervillain thing, with campaign promises including 'demolish Birmingham to build a spaceport'.

(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with John Major. Other notable candidates include Screaming Lord Sutch of the Monster Raving Loony Party.)

2017: comedian Jon Harvey, having recently watched Gremloids and learned of Lord Buckethead's candidacy for parliament, decides it's a great bit. He runs against Theresa May in Maidenhead. 2017 Buckethead seems to have a wackier and also more political approach, with campaign promises ranging from nonsense like 'nationalise Adele' to gesturing at actually sensible policies with stuff like 'lower the voting age to 16 and restrict voting after age 80'.

He also made an appearance on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. As with his previous incarnation, he was a member of the Gremloids party.

(Pictured: Lord Buckethead dabbing on stage with Theresa May.)

2018: Director Todd Durham asserts his legal ownership of Lord Buckethead. Jon Harvey opted not to go to court over Buckethead and handed over the reins. Todd Durham extended an invitation to anyone who wanted to be the 'authorised' Lord Buckethead.

(Pictured: the new Lord Buckethead.)

2019: Lord Buckethead, now played by journalist David Hughes, stood against Boris Johnson in Uxbridge and South Ruislip. He ran for the Monster Raving Loony Party, the UK's pre-existing gag candidate party. He ran with a similarly silly manifesto as the 2017 incarnation, but with a bit less of a political edge. His promises included 'All doorways to be increased by 1 foot (30 cm) in height' and 'Nigel Farage to be sold for parts'.

(Pictured: Lord Buckethead and Count Binface square up.)

Meanwhile, Jon Harvey in his new persona Count Binface, also ran against Boris Johnson. Buckethead and Binface face off! Binface ran as an independent with a manifesto once again blending silly and semi-serious promises such as 'nationalising model railways' and 'giving £1 trillion a week to the NHS'. This was also I believe the debut of his promise to 'move the hand dryer in the men's toilet at Uxbridge's Crown and Treaty pub to a more sensible position'.

(Pictured: Count Binface presenting the offending hand dryer, inconveniently close to both the sink and the urinals.)

He has a point.

2021: Count Binface runs for the position of Mayor of London for the first time, with promises such as 'London to join the European Union'. He notably finished ahead of far right party UKIP.

2023: Count Binface runs in the Uxbridge and South Ruislip by-election following Boris Johnson's resignation. He once again gets more votes than UKIP.

May 2024: Count Binface once again runs to be Mayor of London, debuting his now iconic 'build at least one affordable house' promise. Notably, he finished ahead of far right party Britain First.

(Pictured: Count Binface with Rishi Sunak. Also pictured: Monster Raving Loony Party candidate Sir Archibald Stanton with a ventriloquist's dummy.)

July 2024: Count Binface stands in the general election, running in Richmond and Northallerton against prime minister Rishi Sunak. He debuts his promise to cap the price of 99p flakes at 99p. This is his most successful election to date with 308 votes.

(Pictured: Count Binface with Andy Burnham. Also pictured: independent candidate Robert Pownell, dressed as a fox for his own reasons.)

June 2026: Count Binface stands in the Makerfield by-election against Andy Burnham, (recently) former Mayor of Manchester running for parliament with the intention of standing in the Labour Party leadership contest.

(Pictured: Count Binface on BBC's Newsnight.)

ok buckaroos i am going to talk a bit on artists and writers and publishers and AI, specifically HOW to create in this environment of endless ai slop and WHY i think you will probably be fine if you heed these very important words: YOUR ART IS MORE THAN WHAT IS IN THE PAGE OR PAINTING OR FILM

been saying this for years and DANG does it get folks riled up. the idea is this: as a creator, the thing that you make is not just an object (album, book, tv show) it is also a TETHER between you and your audience. this is ALL a performance art piece, and you bring all of yourself to the stage

when you experience a book, the art is not just text, because the way you connect with that book does not exist in a scientific lab. ART IS NOT A VACUUM. its the cover. its the bookstore where you got it. its what you know about the author. its what you ate for breakfast, its the weather, your mood

what ive said here INFURIATES some authors, because in a world of social media and publishers saying YOU NEED A PRESENCE, most writers just say: 'leave me alone i want to write not be a marketing team.' this is fair and i FEEL FOR YOU BUCKAROOS, but wishing it were different does not change reality

but HERES THE GOOD THING: all of that stuff around you, those tethers that connect you and your audience through infinite time and space, those can be part of your art. in fact, BIG REVEAL, they already are. you NEVER WERE just the text of your book. you are a multidimensional creation and creator

so how can you harness this? THATS FOR YOU TO DECIDE. you can simply NOT harness it (but unfortunately i would argue thats ALSO harnessing it) or you can find something that only YOU can express. your INFINITE UNIQUE HUMAN STAMP ON EXISTENCE. look, for instance, at my entire social media presence

there are MANY people who see my name on a book cover when they trot past and think, 'oh WOW thats chuck tingle i know him from _____' they are experiencing my book AND my art as a whole. in fact, they do that with EVERY SINGLE AUTHOR. 'oh that name sounds familiar. oh i liked their last book.'

great example: i have been self publishing erotica for years, and even back then there was a book for EVERY SINGLE FETISH. now, with AI slop, there is STILL a book for every single fetish. you might ask: 'dang chuck then how come YOU became the surrealist living object author everyone thinks of?'

answer: i expressed myself to you holistically. OUTSIDE of the books, as well as inside. i harnessed the power of uniqueness that HUMANS ALL HAVE. i said 'actually, i LIKE that tinglers are written overnight and have spelling errors and heres my philosophy why' these things ADD UP TO AN EXPERIENCE

so what is YOUR EXPERIENCE? YES, you have a painting or a book or a song or a movie, but WHO ARE YOU? once you find that you are in luck because GUESS WHAT? AI is literally nothing. the story outside of THAT story is environmental disaster and plagiarism. it FEELS BAD no matter how 'good' it gets