The Wanderer

Map in Beckett's office in progress (3 stages were created)

Beckett's map completed

Closer view

Source material for the map

East India coat of arms

Branding for the East India Company and others

East India sign & large clock face

Better sense of clock face scale

Various signs for Port Royal

Sign for a chymist/druggist

Sign for a grocer (golden loaves of sugar)

Jack's compass (updated from the first film)

Ornamentation designed for the interior of the Empress

Design for the stern of the Empress

Gores for the Pirate Lords' globe

i simply ADORE Elizabeth and Hector's shift in dynamic comparing the first and the last movie. I feel like it's not talked about enough.

I especially love how one of the FIRST things Barbossa ever says when talking to Lizzie is "Miss Turner" out loud, while the very last thing he says to her in At World's End is "Mrs Turner".

Okay why is nobody talking about the coked out fever dream that is Beautiful Wedding!?

I've seen commentaries on Beautiful Disaster, which is how I discovered these gloriously terrible movies in the first place, but for some unknown reason, I've found nothing on the (imo far superior) sequel. This is a horrible missed opportunity for the commentary genre and the general public at large who may never get to experience this... experience without the proper publicity. I am in no way the best person for this job, but unfortunately, no one else seems willing, so here we go.

Beautiful Disaster was an objectively bad movie, but I thought it was fun in a very wattpad-esque way. With Dylan Sprouse as a bad boy underground boxer whose most frequent line is "pigeon", you know you're in for a cringey good time.

However, that movie does not hold a candle to the ridiculously awful Beautiful Wedding.

While I wouldn't say Beautiful Disaster was serious in any way, it really felt like everyone involved just gave up all pretense of making, like, an actual movie with the sequel. From what little I know about the book, this movie is completely new material, and oddly enough, I think that worked in its favor. Almost immediately, you just feel a different vibe that lets you know no one making this has any misconceptions about what they're creating. They all know they're making garbage, and they're having fun doing it, which makes it all the more hilarious. The plot is all over the place, the characters make no sense, everything is over the top and beyond nonsensical, and it's great because they lean into it.

There's this one scene near the end where, I shit you not, Dylan Sprouse is on a roof, he sees Abby absolutely caked in mud, he jumps off the roof in slow motion, and lands in a superhero pose. Then they make out while the camera circles them.

Truly it is a shining example of cinema.

The Black Pearl…Jack sees her as synonymous with freedom (ironic given he sold his soul to save her) and values her more than anything, and she is perfectly fitted to him in turn, especially with her figurehead holding forth a little bird in flight. She’s scarred just as much as he is with her blackened hull and their shared past. And then when Barbossa is in possession of her and the whole crew is cursed with undeath, their bones showing through in the moonlight, her sails become as tattered as their exposed ribs, and yet she’s still as fast as she ever was. And then, reunited with her first captain once more, her sails are patched up, the curse lifted. They enjoy even more adventures together in the time they have left, free and whole—until they both perish together, yet again.

"A chance of what?"

"To convince you to love me again. Even if you don't remember the first time."

Like yes James Norrington deserved so much better and my baby is dead and oh my god I want to die but hey look at Jack Davenport! Look at him doing his stunts! Look at him laughing at Keira's shenanigans! Look at him smiling at Johnny Depp and calling him darling!