“Trick or Yeet!” I shout to the children when I open the door. “Yeet?” one says confusidly. I shrug. “Yeet it is.” I throw the child.

Not Halloween but, okay. 

okay you stick of unsalted butter i made this on halloween but everyone just likes to reblog it for some reason

this is the funniest thing that has happened in spngebob since season 3

“Yass queen” with a completely emotionless face will always be the best line of the whole series.

This is so advanced tho.

white person acts like a decent person for once, and the crowd goes wild!!!!

Can you believe that there are people who live so close to the ocean that they can just think “hey, I should go to the ocean” and then they just do???

If that blows your mind, consider: I live maybe an hour’s drive from the beach and I frequently think “hey, I should go to the ocean” and then I just don’t.

“if a cat wants to sleep somewhere, then any complications like gravity won’t stop her…”

the actual leader and founder of the third wave of feminism’s movement

Oh hey look it’s me! I usually cut up kittens food but I always ask her just in case she ever wants to be a big girl. I love you lil britches mwuah

*Banging table* CUMMIES CUMMIES CUMMIES

hE WEARING AN ED EDD AND EDDY SHIRT NOBODY GONNA SAY SHIT ABoUT THIS

str-yrats

You guys wouldn’t understand the relationship between a kitten and her daddy