Umm

 i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably

hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year

i hope she’s comfortable

Please don’t forget the best one so far^^^

Carry a fork with you. If someone tries to rob you, pull the fork out of your pocket and say “thank you, Lord for this meal I’m about to have” and charge at them with the fork

If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count

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