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Since AO3 is down and I'm sure people are losing their minds looking for fics (I am people), I'm posting some of my fics over here. If you look in the tag "Mia writes fanfic" you can see all the fic I've posted on tumblr
Robin was the first person to notice something was wrong with Steve Harrington.
By the end of the day, everyone had noticed. People were whispering up and down the halls, wondering what had happened to Steve since yesterday to make him act so drastically different. He hadn’t flirted with a single girl all day. He’d told Tommy Hagan to “knock it off” when Tommy had started tormenting a freshman. He’d treated his friends weirdly – avoiding Jason Carver, a sophomore on the basketball team who he’d been training, losing patience with Carol Perkins’s snappish remarks, freezing up when some cheerleaders talked to him.
Robin heard all of this second-hand. King Steve was so notorious that even the band kids were gossiping about his personality transplant. Multiple people came up to Robin to share some tidbit of gossip that they insisted proved that Steve had been body-snatched.
But Robin didn’t need rumors to know that Steve Harrington was different. She’d known since first period, when he’d walked into Ms. Click’s class on time and without a bagel. Steve had barely glanced at Tammy, even as she’d looked at him from under her lashes, beautiful and enticing. Instead, Steve had, for the first time in his entire life, looked at Robin.
And he’d smiled at her. Not a polite acknowledgement of her existence – which still would have been more than Robin had ever gotten from him – but a huge, friendly smile. The kind that would have had most girls falling at his feet.
Robin glanced behind her to see if Steve was smiling at someone else, but unless Steve was smiling like that at Fred Benson – even more unlikely – he was definitely directing that expression at her.
Robin spun back to Steve, unsure what her face was communicating. Confusion, maybe, or wide-eyed shock.
Steve didn’t look offended or surprised by her reaction, just gave her a dorky little wave and sat down.
Robin stared at the back of his head, still trying to process what had just happened. Tammy turned to Robin, scanning her up and down. Robin knew she was just trying to figure out what about Robin had caught King Steve’s interest, but her scrutiny made Robin feel all hot anyway. It was Tammy, looking at Robin intently. With purpose. Taking in Robin’s stupid perm and her smudgy makeup and her layers of jewelry.
Robin blushed.
Tammy turned back around.
Ms. Click began talking, but Robin didn’t hear a single word for the rest of class, lost in thought. She alternated between loud mental screaming about the fact that Tammy had looked at her and staring at Steve Harrington’s famous hair and wondering what the hell had inspired him to notice her existence.
Robin was packing in a daze at the end of class when Steve gave her another smile before leaving. Robin accidentally met Tammy’s eyes, which were just as confused as Robin felt.
Tammy bit her lip, which was pink and soft-looking. “Robin? Did you talk to Steve over the weekend?”
Oh my god. Tammy was talking to her. It wasn’t like Tammy never talked to her, but every single time it made Robin lose her mind and babble like a freak.
Robin just shook her head instead of risking opening her mouth.
“Oh,” Tammy said, looking disappointed. “But you like him?”
“No,” Robin said honestly. “I don’t even know him.”
“But you like him,” Tammy said, and this time it wasn’t a question. “I saw you blushing after he smiled at you.”
“I guess so,” Robin said. What else was she supposed to say? She couldn’t tell Tammy that she didn’t give a damn if Steve Harrington looked at her and that the blush had been all for Tammy. That would send Tammy running the other way.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Tammy said. “A lot of girls like Steve.”
She didn’t mention that she was one of those girls, but she didn’t need to. Robin knew.
Maybe it would be okay to pretend to like Steve. It would give her and Tammy something in common and it would help her hide in plain sight. Steve was the perfect fake crush for a lesbian, pretty and athletic enough to be an acceptable crush, but unattainable enough that she would never have to act on it. Robin had never faked a crush on him before because of the principle of the thing, but now that she’d accidentally already done it, she might as well keep up the pretense.
“Today must have been a fluke,” Robin told Tammy, trying to sound both reassuring and lovelorn. She didn’t want Tammy to see her as a threat. She wanted her to see her as a friend. “I don’t think Steve even knows my name.”
***
But Steve kept smiling at her for the rest of the week and on Thursday, Tammy asked Robin if she wanted to hang out after school.
“Really?” Robin asked. Then, “I mean, yeah, sure. Sounds fun.”
So Robin went to Tammy’s house with the rest of Tammy’s friends. Apparently they did this every Thursday — Friday and Saturday were date nights, which made Thursday the perfect girls’ night.
They went up to Tammy’s room, which was like peeking into her mind. The other girls paid no attention to the room, probably having seen it a million times. They settled on the floor, spreading bowls of chips and chocolates around and pulling out magazines and nail polish. But Robin couldn’t help but try to take in every detail of the room. The walls were pink and the curtains and bedspread a gauzy white, giving everything a bit of a princess feel. But there were posters on the wall, and not the kind Robin had expected. There weren’t handsome movie stars — these were girls with guitars.
“Who’s that?” Robin asked, pointing at a poster of a girl with long straight hair, standing over a microphone and holding a guitar.
Tammy twisted to see who Robin was pointing to. “That’s Emmylou Harris. She’s incredible. She was one of the first women to really make it big in country music.”
“So you want to be like her?” Robin asked.
Tammy blushed a little, playing with the end of her long blonde curls. “I mean, I don’t know if I’m as good as Emmylou Harris. But that’s the dream.”
“You’re really good,” Robin said sincerely. “I heard you singing Kiss On My List before class the other day and it was-“ captivating. life-changing. beautiful. “Really good,” Robin finished lamely.
“Thank you,” Tammy said, looking touched.
One of Tammy’s friends — Olivia? — rolled her eyes. “Tam, we didn’t invite Robin here to talk about your singing. We want to hear about Steve Harrington!”
The two other girls — Karen and Melissa — giggled and nodded their agreement.
“What did you do to get his attention?” Olivia asked Robin.
Robin tried not to obviously deflate. She wanted to talk to Tammy about her passions, see the way Tammy lit up when she smiled. She didn’t want to gossip about stupid boys, especially not Steve Harrington.
But that was why they’d invited her over. Her fake crush on Steve was her in with these girls, with Tammy, and she had to make them believe her if she wanted to be invited to spend more time with him.
“I don’t know,” Robin said honestly. “I’ve sat behind him all year and I didn’t think he knew I existed. And then all of a sudden on Monday — bam! — he’s acting like he knows me.”
Melissa hummed, passing around bottles of nail polish. “Maybe it’s your hair? Did you perm it recently? Cause Heather Holloway says Steve has a thing for girls with curly hair.”
Tammy frowned at her own hair and shook her head. “Robin’s hair has been like that all year.”
Tammy had watched Robin closely enough to notice what she did with her hair? Robin bit down on a smile, grabbing blue nail polish from Melissa.
“Did you go to the party last weekend?” Karen asked.
Robin shook her head. She’s actually spend last weekend reading a book, listening to her language tapes, and playing board games with her parents. Nothing that could be remotely considered cool.
“Did you look particularly pretty on Monday?” Olivia asked.
Robin shrugged. “I think I just looked how I always do.”
Tammy put on a Kris Kristofferson record then sat down beside Robin again. “I guess we’ll just have to watch what he does in class. Collect more information.”
“I guess so,” Robin said, hoping Steve forgot her existence soon for her own sake. She didn’t know what she would do if he actually asked her out.
But maybe if he kept giving her attention she could keep this new friendship with Tammy, at least for a little while.
Robin sighed, loud and long.
“Don’t worry,” Tammy said, “We’ll figure it out.”
“And you don’t… mind?” Robin asked. “I know you like him too. I don’t want to break girl code or something.”
Robin had never worried about breaking girl code before, for obvious reasons, but she’d seen girls fall out over liking the same guy.
Olivia snorted. “Please. Girl code doesn’t count when it comes to Steve Harrington. He’s slept with half the school.”
“Yeah, everyone knows he’s just a good time,” Karen added. “He doesn’t actually date girls for real.”
“I went out with him for two weeks in middle school,” Melissa said. “We made it to second base and then he dumped me for Erica Tanner.”
“You’re in good company here,” Olivia promised.
Tammy still hadn’t spoken. Tammy was focused on painting her nails bright pink, a color Robin would never choose for herself but that perfectly matched with Tammy’s pink cheeks and pink lips, which she was biting.
Because Tammy cared, Robin realized. Steve might be the school slut, and he might never date a girl seriously, but Tammy liked him for real.
Melissa, Olivia, and Karen were now arguing over whether Melissa’s two-week fling with Steve Harrington counted as a relationship. They seemed sufficiently distracted, so Robin dropped her voice low and leaned into Tammy’s space.
“Do you mind?” she asked Tammy. “Because I can back off.”
“No,” Tammy said, smile pretty and entirely a lie. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”
Robin didn’t know what to do with that. Was Tammy trying to save face by not admitting she had a real crush on Steve Harrington? Was this her way of testing if Robin was worthy friend-material? How was Steve fucking Harrington Robin’s key to getting to know Tammy and also the one who was mostly likely to ruin this new friendship?
“Okay,” Robin said, staring at her nails so she wouldn’t have to figure out what facial expression was appropriate. She cleared her throat. “So you were telling me about Emmylou Harris?”
***
Steve Harrington came up to Robin at her locker on Friday, when she was getting the books she needed to take home for the weekend.
“Hey,” he said, like it wasn’t supremely weird that he was approaching Robin Buckley, band geek and wallflower and no one who ever should have caught his eye.
“Hi?” Robin answered.
Steve ran his fingers through his hair. “Do you want to go to the diner with me? We could get milkshakes.”
Robin stared at him. Was this a joke? A prank? Had one of his friends dared him to ask out the weird band kid?
“What?” Robin asked.
Steve rubbed the back of his neck. He looked nervous, which was crazy. He was Steve Harrington and she was just Robin Buckley.
“I can drive us,” Steve said. “And I’ll pay.”
“I’m not going on a date with you,” Robin said. It was a gut reaction, but a second later Robin couldn’t help but wonder if she should have said yes. What was she going to tell Tammy about why she’d turned down her supposed crush?
But why was Steve Harrington even asking her out in the first place?
Steve didn’t look offended at her rejection, but he did hurry to say, “I know. I didn’t mean as a date.”
Robin looked down the hall. A group of cheerleaders at one end was watching them, giggling and tittering. Had the cheerleaders put him up to this? Girls could be vicious, but trying to embarrass a girl by having a boy ask her out seemed like a more guy type of prank somehow.
“You want to hang out with me just as friends,” Robin said skeptically.
“Yeah,” Steve said.
Robin rolled her eyes. “Right. Thanks, but no thanks.”
“I mean it,” Steve said. “I want to be friends.”
He was lying. Robin didn’t know why, but he was lying. Maybe he thought that if she hung out with him as “friends” she would eventually change her mind and agree to date him.
“Why?” Robin demanded. “Why would you want to be friends with me?”
Steve opened his mouth, then paused. He thought for a few seconds before he said, “You seem cool.”
Robin snorted. “I’m the furthest thing from cool.”
“No, I know,” Steve said. “I mean you seem… interesting. Nice. Fun.”
“You don’t even know me,” Robin said. “We’ve never spoken, and now all of a sudden you’re interested in me? I don’t buy it.”
“It’s true,” Steve said. He jumped as a hand landed on his arm and then Carol Perkins was there, staring Robin down with disdain in her eyes.
“What are you doing?” Carol asked.
“I was asking Robin to milkshakes,” Steve said.
Carol gave Robin an up-and-down and it didn’t feel good like when Tammy had done it. Carol wasn’t admiring her. She was looking at Robin like gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe.
“Are you that bored of going out with pretty girls?” Carol asked, voice all fake-interested like it was a real question.
Steve scowled, shaking Carol’s hand off his arm. “Robin’s pretty.”
Carol rolled her eyes. “She’s not terrible, I guess, under that bad perm, but she dresses like a dyke. If you want to rebel and date a freak or a charity case, you can do better.”
Robin flinched violently when Carol said the word dyke. She fought to keep her expression straight even as her heart raced and her lungs constricted.
Did Carol Perkins know? Or had she blindly thrown out an insult, hoping it would hurt?
“Don’t call her that,” Steve snapped, his face dark and furious. He looked frightening enough that Robin skittered back half a step.
Carol didn’t look scared of Steve, but her mouth did drop open in shock.
That was fair. Robin was shocked too.
Was Steve defending her?
Maybe this was what it meant to be a girl Steve Harrington liked. Maybe he didn’t like Carol calling Robin a dyke because that was an offense to his own masculinity. That was the only thing that made sense. Robin had heard Steve throw around gay slurs just last week, so it couldn’t be the word itself that he had a problem with.
“Seriously, Steve?” Carol asked, haughty and judgmental. “You can’t actually like her.”
“Robin is great,” Steve insisted.
Carol rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I’ll remind you of this when you come to your senses.”
With that, Carol spun on her heels – red hair smacking Steve in the face – and walked away.
Steve’s posture loosened, like he had also perceived Carol as a threat.
“I’m sorry,” he told Robin, looking sincere and apologetic.
Robin hated him.
“Stay the fuck away from me” Robin told Steve.
She slammed her locker and walked away, clutching her books to her chest to hide her shaking hands. She kept her head up as she walked by the cheerleaders, who laughed loudly as she passed.
***
Steve kept smiling at her whenever he walked into Click’s class, but he didn’t try to ask her out again.
He looked a bit like a kicked puppy every time she glared back at him, but Robin didn’t care.
“What are you doing?” Tammy asked one day after class. “He’s going to give up on you if you keep glaring at him like that.”
“He asked me out as a joke,” Robin told Tammy.
Tammy frowned. “Are you sure it was a joke? I don’t think he would do that.”
“I’m sure,” Robin said darkly, thinking of Carol hovering and the cheerleaders watching. Did Steve believe what Carol had said? Was that the joke: to put Robin in a position where she had to either go on a date with a man she didn’t like or else turn him down and confirm she was a lesbian? What kind of girl said no to a date with Steve Harrington?
Tammy bit her lip. She had on bright pink lipstick today. It would have looked tacky on anyone else, but it made Tammy look like a pop star. Robin wondered if the lipstick was flavored. She wished she could kiss Tammy and find out.
“You don’t mind if I flirt with him, right?” Tammy asked, echoing Robin’s words at her house last week. So far, Robin hadn’t been invited to girls’ night again.
Yes, Robin thought. Yes, I mind. I mind so much, but not for the reason that you think.
“Not at all,” Robin said. “It’s like you said, girl code doesn’t apply to Steve Harrington. Go for it.”
So Tammy kept trying to get Steve’s attention. He was nice to her. He never outright ignored her when she talked to him, but he never talked to her for longer than politeness required. He would always turn away, missing the way Tammy’s face fell.
And he kept fucking smiling at Robin. Picking up her books when she dropped them. Apologizing to her when he got bagel crumbs on the floor, even though she’d never mentioned how much it annoyed her. Turning to catch her eye when someone said something funny, like he thought she was someone he could share inside jokes with.
Slowly, Tammy stopped smiling at Robin. She started flicking annoyed glances in Robin’s direction whenever Steve gave Robin attention. Started snapping at Robin whenever Robin tried to sympathize with her about how much of a douchebag Steve Harrington was. Started avoiding Robin unless Robin directly started conversation with her.
Steve Harrington was ruining everything.
***
“What are you doing?” Robin demanded. She’d chased Steve after Ms. Click’s class, following him to the little alley out by the gym. She was going to be late for math, but she didn’t care. She needed to talk to him before he ruined everything.
Steve frowned as he lit up a cigarette. “What do you mean?”
“In Click’s class,” Robin said. “Tammy is practically throwing herself at you but you never even look her way. And I don’t talk to you at all, but you keep trying to talk to me.”
A flash of something crossed Steve’s face, but Robin didn’t know him well enough to read his expressions and it was gone in a heartbeat anyway.
“You don’t want me to talk to you?” Steve asked.
“Yes!” Robin said. “No. I don’t know. Why won’t you flirt with Tammy?”
Steve’s face scrunched up. It was a face Robin had seen before when they were taking tests in class – it meant Steve had no idea what was going on. “You’re upset because I’m not flirting with Tammy Thompson?”
“I don’t get it!” Robin said. “She’s really nice and she’s a good singer and she’s really pretty. Objectively. I mean, she seems like the Steve Harrington type.”
“Right,” Steve said, his lips twitching like she had said something funny.
“So I don’t get it,” Robin said. “She’s right there, and I don’t even try, but you keep looking. What’s so special about me?”
“Oh,” Steve said, like he had just realized something. “She’s jealous of you.”
Robin shuffled but didn’t say anything. Of course Tammy was jealous. Steve sat next to her every day, did he really not see it?
“And you don’t like that,” Steve continued, like he was figuring something out. Unfortunately, he was figuring out entirely the wrong thing. Robin wasn’t here to talk to Steve about her friendship with Tammy, she was here to find out why Steve didn’t like Tammy and why he seemed to like her.
“It’s not about me,” Robin said.
“Right,” Steve said, inhaling his stupid carcinogens. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Robin asked. She was pretty sure she was smarter than Steve Harrington, so she didn’t know why she was the one feeling lost in this conversation.
Steve stubbed out his cigarette against the wall. “I’ll fix it.”
The late bell rang. Robin wanted to ask Steve what he’d understood from this conversation, but she really did need to go to math class. Arriving late wasn’t a good way to fly under the radar.
“Okay,” she told Steve, not quite sure what she was agreeing to.
He gave her another one of those big smiles as she left the alleyway. It made something churn in her gut.
She wanted to be the kind of girl who got excited when Steve Harrington smiled at her like that. She wanted Tammy Thompson to smile at her like that. She wanted to fall in love with someone who loved her back, and she wanted to not get chased out of town by an angry mob with pitchforks for it.
***
The next time Robin walked into Ms. Click’s class, Steve was flirting with Tammy.
Robin had to stop in the middle of the aisle, feeling like she’d just been punched in the gut.
Tammy was leaning into Steve’s space, twirling her blonde curls around one finger. Steve was smiling at her, arm stretched over the back of her chair, listening attentively as she spoke.
Robin forced herself to walk mechanically to her desk. She took her notebook and pencil case out of her backpack and very carefully arranged everything on her desk, doing anything she could to prolong looking up. She didn’t want to watch this.
After what felt like the longest few minutes of Robin’s life, Ms. Click began talking. Robin risked looking up and saw that Steve had pulled his arm back and Tammy was sitting in her own seat again.
She couldn't stop seeing them wrapped up in each other.
At the end of class, Steve walked out quickly, the way he always did. Robin wondered if he always went to smoke behind the gym and that was why he ran away so fast.
Tammy whirled to Robin, squealing, her face lit up in a beautiful smile.
“Robin! Did you see that!”
Tammy hadn’t started a conversation with Robin in two weeks. Robin managed a real smile in the face of Tammy’s happiness.
“I did,” she said.
“I think he likes me,” Tammy said, almost shy, playing with the bracelets on her wrist.
“Yeah,” Robin said, ignoring the sinking feeling in her gut. “I think so too.”
***
The rumors at band practice told Robin that Steve was still flirting with other girls. He seemed particularly interested in Nancy Wheeler, who was a priss and a nerd but who was pretty and definitely his type. He seemed to be slowly wearing her down.
It made Robin furious. So Steve Harrington had a crush on Nancy Wheeler, fine, that made sense. But if he really liked her, and the rumors said he was absolutely head-over-heels, then what was he doing playing with Tammy and Robin? What the fuck was he up to?
***
A week later, Steve didn’t run out of Click’s class at the first sound of the bell. Instead he turned to Tammy and Robin and said, “I’m having a party at my house tonight. You’re both invited.”
“I’ll think about it,” Tammy said, smiling like this was a game. It was. They all knew Tammy would be going to see Steve and she was just trying to play it cool.
“Cool,” Steve said. He met Tammy’s eyes, then Robin's. “I’ll see you there.”
Tammy waited until he walked away, then did a little shimmy of excitement. It was kind of lame, but also hopelessly endearing. Robin liked when Tammy didn’t try to act cool around her.
“You’re going?” Robin asked dully.
“Of course I’m going!” Tammy said. “This is going to be so much fun! You’re coming, right?”
“Yeah,” Robin said, her mouth running before her brain could catch up with it. Tammy wanted her there. What else could she do? “I’ll be there.”
***
Robin got her dad to drop her off at the party. She was willing to bet she was the only teenager being dropped off by their dad, but her parents weren’t the type to be upset about her going out and they trusted her to drink responsibly. Plus, Robin couldn’t drive, so she didn’t know how else she was supposed to get there.
By the time she arrived, the party was already in full swing. Music came from inside the house and a few people spilled out into the yard.
Robin headed inside, dodging around a few couples making out against the hallway walls. Tammy was probably here already, right? Robin passed through the kitchen, filling a red solo cup with a tiny amount of vodka and a lot of coke. Jason Carver was there, flirting with Chrissy Cunningham, who was blushing at the attention.
Robin slipped into the living room and that was where she found Tammy. She was standing against a wall, surrounded by Olivia, Melissa, and Karen. Tammy was holding a red solo cup and staring out at the other end of the living room.
Robin followed her gave to Steve, who was talking to… Eddie Munson? Robin watched with her jaw slack until Steve came away with a grin and a joint between his fingers.
That made sense, actually. Of course the only reason Steve Harrington would ever speak to Eddie Munson would be to buy drugs.
Robin went up to Tammy, hovering at the edge of the group as she said “hi.”
“Hey,” Tammy said, giving her a distracted smile.
“I like your dress,” Robin said. She wanted to say that Tammy looked good, but that wasn’t a safe compliment.
“Thanks,” Tammy said. “I got it in Indy.”
“It’s cute,” Robin said. It was — pink and ruffled at the edges and unlike anything anyone else was wearing. Something that screamed Tammy Thompson.
The music went quiet for a moment, and Robin spun around, trying to figure out why. Carol Perkins was standing by the speakers.
“Let’s play a game!” she said, blowing a bubble with her gum like the picture of teenage insouciance. “Truth or dare.”
She sat on the ground, Tommy Hagan and Steve Harrington sitting beside her. A few more jocks joined — Jason and Andy from the basketball team, Chrissy and Fiona from the cheerleading squad. Heather Holloway and Patrick and Brenda.
“We have to join!” Tammy said. She grabbed Robin’s hand and dragged her over to the circle.
Robin complied in a daze. Tammy was holding her hand. Tammy’s hand was soft and warm and not sweaty at all and Robin could die happy, Tammy’s hand in hers.
Tammy released her as soon as they got to the circle and Robin felt suddenly bereft, taking a seat mechanically beside her. Melissa, Karen, and Olivia sat on Tammy’s other side.
Steve Harrington was looking in her direction, eyebrows up, and Robin scowled at him. Steve smiled, hands up like he was saying don’t shoot, and Carol noticed and shot Robin a glare.
“Tommy,” Steve said. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” Tommy said.
Steve grinned. “I dare you to let Carol take a body shot off you.”
Tommy scrunched up his face. “Don’t you mean I should take a shot off her?”
Steve blinked, absolutely nothing behind his eyes. “What do you mean?”
So Tommy lay down and balanced a shot glass on his stomach, so low it was practically on his hips, and Carol grabbed it with her mouth, tipping her head back to drink. Robin didn’t like Carol at all, but she had to admit there was something attractive about it, about the long line of Carol’s throat as she drank the shot and the dainty, self-satisfied way she wiped her mouth afterward.
From there, they kept going around the circle.
Heather Holloway gave Andy a lap dance. Fiona admitted to having done mushrooms. Jason Carver was dared to kiss the prettiest girl in the circle, which made him turn to Chrissy Cunningham and say “A good girl like you deserves better than some drunken kiss during truth or dare. What do you say I take you out to dinner tomorrow and then give you a kiss on your front porch at the end of the night?”
Chrissy’s smile was disarmingly wide. “Yeah,” she said, nodding. “That sounds nice.”
“It’s a date,” Jason said. A few of the boys hollered and whooped, patting Jason on the back and shaking him a little. Jason looked bashful, hiding a smile behind a sip of his drink.
“Finally!” Carol Perkins said. She turned to Chrissy. “He’s been pining over you since last year and it took him this long to work up the guts to ask you out.”
Jason screeched at Carol, who ignored him and winked at a pleased-looking Chrissy. Robin was hit with the sudden realization that Carol Perkins could be nice, when she wanted to be.
Melissa got dared to swap clothes with Patrick, Karen revealed she’d shoplifted a pair of earrings once, and Olivia admitted to having made out with a boy in the school janitor’s closet.
Then it was Tammy’s turn.
“Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” Tammy said, something brave in her eyes.
A few of the girls conferred together — Carol and Heather and Fiona — before turning to Tammy with smiles on their faces. “We dare you to shotgun with Steve.”
Tammy’s eyes went wide. Robin didn’t think Tammy was the type to smoke weed, but Tammy pressed a confident smile onto her face. Maybe she didn’t want to back down from a dare. Maybe she just wanted a chance to press her mouth against Steve Harrington’s.
Steve looked at her from all the way across the circle — if he, Tommy, and Carol were the North Pole, Tammy and Robin were the South, the antipodal point — and raised the joint questioningly.
“Okay,” Tammy said.
Steve took a drag off the joint and crawled across the circle. Tammy met him in the middle and he was gentle as he used one hand to tip her chin up, pressing his lips against hers and exhaling. Robin could only really see the back of Tammy’s head, but she was hit by a burning jealousy at the way Steve so casually touched her.
It felt like it had been years since Tammy had held her hand.
Tammy sat back beside Robin, a pleased little smile on her face.
“Band kid,” Carol said, smiling meanly. “Truth or dare.”
Robin shuffled uncomfortably. So far all the dares had involved some kind of sexual display with the opposite sex and Robin did not want to kiss a boy or give him a lap dance. But she also had a lot of secrets she didn’t really feel like sharing.
She should pick truth, right? Worst come to worst, she could just lie. It’s not like any of these people would ever know — none of them really knew her.
“Truth,” Robin said.
Chrissy started to say something, but Carol spoke over her. “Who was your first kiss?”
Robin’s cheeks flamed. Carol was doing this on purpose.
“I haven’t had my first kiss yet,” Robin said, trying to sound casual. It wasn’t that unusual, at least in the circles she ran with.
But Carol reacted with extreme shock, her eyes going wide, her mouth dropping open. “Ever? That’s so sad!”
“Not really,” Robin said. Everyone was staring at her. She’d spent months trying to fly under the radar, and now they were all watching her and it was just as terrible as she’d thought it would be.
Carol kept going. “But why haven’t you kissed anyone? Aren’t there any boys you like?”
It would have been fine if Carol hadn’t paused a little, put more emphasis on the word boys. But Carol knew what she was doing, insinuating exactly what she had when she’d stood with Steve by Robin’s locker.
Everyone in the circle was staring at Robin. Jason Carver looked disgusted. Tammy pulled back a bit from Robin’s side.
Robin felt like she was going to throw up.
Then Steve Harrington scoffed. All eyes moved to him, to see what the King was going to say. Steve was relaxed, weight back on one hand, legs kicked out in front of him. “Not everyone is a slut, Carol.”
The like you went unspoken, but Robin saw it land. Carol’s face scrunched up with real hurt for a second, like she wasn’t sure why Steve was attacking her.
Tommy, sitting between them, gave Steve a what the fuck look as he pulled Carol into his side.
Steve either didn’t see any of this or pretended not to. He turned to Patrick, sitting next to Robin on the opposite side as Tammy, and said “truth or dare?”
Robin relaxed. It was over, right? They weren’t looking at her anymore?
She glanced around the circle and it seemed like everyone had moved on. A sneaky glance at Tammy showed that she wasn’t sitting as close to Robin as before, but she also wasn’t looking particularly repulsed. Maybe she had just forgotten to move back again.
Robin didn’t really believe it.
She tried to calm her racing heart as the next few people went. But when it was Steve Harrington’s turn, she couldn’t help but tune in.
“Steve,” Tommy Hagan said. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” Steve said, like every teenage jock ever.
Carol leaned over and whispered in Tommy’s ear and Tommy grinned. “I dare you to kiss Robin Buckley.”
Robin’s blood turned to ice. Once again, all heads in the circle swiveled to her.
Robin didn’t want to kiss Steve Harrington. She had been saving her first kiss because she wanted it to be special. She could have pretended to like a boy, to kiss a boy, to date a boy. But she had wanted to save all her firsts for a girl — to have them be real and meaningful instead of a stupid farce.
She didn’t have a choice though. Not after what Carol had implied earlier. If Robin didn’t kiss Steve, she would practically be confirming that she was a lesbian.
Robin looked to Carol, who was smirking at her.
“Yeah,” Robin said shakily. “Okay.”
Steve was watching her intently, something indecipherable in his eyes. He got to his feet and crossed the circle, kneeling down in front of her.
Robin didn’t think she’d ever been this close to a boy. He smelled like hairspray and beer, and his eyes were brown and serious as she watched her.
He gave her the same friendly smile he’d been giving her all semester, then leaned in to whisper in her ear. His breath was uncomfortably hot on her skin as he said, “trust me.”
Then he pulled back and squared his shoulders, cocky and unapologetic about it. He smirked around the circle, a boy proud to be showing off that he was kissing a pretty girl.
Robin was going to throw up. Her heart was pounding and she was going to have to kiss a boy and Steve had been playing games with her all semester.
Robin closed her eyes, preparing for the kiss and also trying to hide the hot tears she could feel building up.
She jumped a bit when Steve’s hands landed on her face. He wasn’t holding her jaw delicately like he’d done to Tammy. Both of Steve’s giant palms where splayed across her cheeks, one of them half caught in her hair, dragging it in front of her face. Great. Her first kiss was going to taste like hair and that wasn’t even going to be the worst part of it.
Robin kept her eyes screwed shut as Steve’s skin pressed against her lips and his nose bumped hers and — those weren’t Steve’s lips.
Steve was close, yes, so close they were sharing the same air. So close that it probably looked like they were kissing.
But this was a stage kiss. Steve’s thumb was over Robin’s mouth, his lips pressed to one side and hers to the other.
Robin opened her eyes in shock. She couldn’t really see Steve — he was too close not to be blurry — but his eyes were pressed closed, brown eyelashes fanned over his cheeks. As if this were a real kiss.
Where had basketball-playing, prom king Steve Harrington even learned what a stage kiss was? This couldn’t be standard practice for the popular kids — they played these games as an excuse to kiss each other, not to fake it.
And more importantly, why was he doing this? Was he that opposed to kissing her? Or had he somehow noticed her reluctance and decided to protect her while allowing both of them to save face?
Steve used his hands to tilt Robin’s head and she followed without resistance. He pressed closer, moving her back, and they still weren’t kissing but it probably looked like they were making out. Like he was into this. Like she was.
Robin closed her eyes. She could figure out the mystery that was Steve Harrington later. Right now, she had to help Steve sell this.
She raised her hands to Steve’s shoulders, pulling him closer, hoping he wouldn’t misinterpret her sudden ardor as a request for a real kiss.
He let out a little moan, his nose brushing hers as he tipped his head, and she smiled against his thumb. Holy shit. They were totally faking it and everyone was going to think she was a good enough kisser to make Steve Harrington moan.
After a long moment, Steve pulled back, simultaneously slipping his thumb to the side so it wouldn’t be over her mouth.
He stayed in her space a second longer, eyes locked with Robin’s. He seemed pleased with himself, or maybe with her shocked expression.
He licked his lips and Robin copied him automatically. Her lips tasted like beer and smoke but it was from Steve’s hand, not his lips, and that made all the difference.
Someone wolf-whistled.
Steve backed away, returning to his seat next to Tommy Hagan. Robin was speechless as the room returned to focus.
Carol looked pissed. Tommy was elbowing Steve, leaning in to tease him.
“Damn, Harrington,” said some basketball jock Robin didn’t know. “I didn’t know you were into band nerds.”
“That was a hell of a first kiss,” another one said.
Steve smiled, cocky and pleased and bashful all at once. He was a better actor than Robin had ever given him credit for.
Tammy nudged Robin, and that’s when Robin realized she was still staring at Steve, dumb with awe.
As everyone turned to Tommy Hagan, Tammy leaned in and whispered, “it looks like you really enjoyed that kiss.”
She was trying to smile, trying to gently tease like a friend would, but Robin could see the heartbreak in her expression. Robin wished she could tell Tammy that it had all been for show and that she hadn’t actually kissed Steve, but Tammy had pulled away at the accusation that Robin was a lesbian and only been okay touching her again after that performance of a kiss.
This wasn’t a world where Robin got to have both Steve and Tammy.
“Yeah,” Robin said, surprised to find she was telling the truth. She was glad she’d been dared to kiss Steve and not any other boy here. There were apparently layers to Steve Harrington, who she’d thought was nothing more than a pretty, empty-headed, girl-obsessed jock.
She kind of wanted to know more about him.
She glanced across the circle. Steve was watching Tommy try to do a handstand, until Tommy overbalanced and fell into Steve’s lap, making him yelp. Steve laughed as he leaned over Tommy, asking if he was okay, and Tommy’s eyes lit up in a way Robin recognized. The way she had probably lit up when Tammy had taken her hand.
In that moment, Robin felt like she understood something about all of them.
Carol’s frozen smile as she watched her boyfriend beam at Steve. The way Tommy pretended to fumble a bit climbing off Steve’s lap, if only to stay there a second longer. And Steve’s sharp eyes, catching Tommy’s adoration and Carol’s pain.
“You’re too high, man,” Steve said, waving his joint in a big circle. Giving Tommy cover in case anyone else had noticed what Robin had.
“Way too high,” Carol agreed, snatching the joint from Steve’s fingers. She took a long drag, then blew the smoke out, passed the joint back to Steve, and curled into Tommy’s side.
Tommy and Carol looked like the picture of a happy couple and Robin realized it was another type of performance. Had Carol known before she started dating Tommy? Or had she fallen in love with him first, only realizing he liked Steve when it was too late to stop her heart from being broken?
Robin didn’t want to feel sympathy for Carol Perkins, who had tried so hard to ruin Robin’s night. But she pitied her a little, watching her playact at being happy and realizing that they were all doing it. All these stupid popular kids were just pretending to be shiny, happy people and the rest of the school was buying it, standing too far away to see the imperfections that would have been obvious up close.
Steve met Robin’s eyes across the circle, bringing the joint to his lips. His eyes were perfectly clear, pupils small, not like someone who had been smoking at all. Another slight of hand, like the stage kiss.
“I think he likes you back,” Tammy said.
Robin looked at Tammy, who was faking a smile just like the rest of the popular kids. Why hadn’t Robin seen it before? Tammy was brave and Tammy was kind, but she hid those parts of herself, trying to seem just as cookie-cutter perfect as the rest of the people in this circle.
Robin didn’t want cookie-cutter perfect. She wanted real.
She still didn’t want to break Tammy’s heart, so she said something she didn’t really believe about Steve. Not anymore.
“Maybe,” Robin said. “But like you said, he’s just a good time. He’ll be over me in two weeks.”
***
On Monday, Robin found Steve at his locker after school.
His eyes went wide as she came up to him and he smiled at her. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Robin said. She kicked the toes of her converse together. She’d spent all of yesterday doodling on them while watching tv. Maybe it was stupid, given how close Carol had come to outing her, but Robin was feeling a little bulletproof. She’d written I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on your sister in pen on the whites of her shoes.
Steve looked down at her feet and smiled. “Nice artwork.”
Robin froze, even though there was no way Steve could read her shoes while standing up. “Thanks,” she said stiffly. “I thought they could use some, uh, personality?”
“I like them better this way,” Steve said.
Robin cleared her throat. “Do you, uh, wanna get milkshakes? You’re paying, of course.”
Steve’s eyes lit up. “Yeah,” he said quickly. “I’ll buy you however many milkshakes you want.”
Robin rolled her eyes. “Do girls really fall for this desperate act?”
“I’m much cooler around girls I’m interested in,” Steve said. Robin believed him this time. He’d put his thumb over her mouth and then swaggered like he’d kissed her and she trusted him in a way she hadn’t before.
She was dying to know why he’d done it.
“So it’s just your friends that you bribe into liking you,” Robin teased.
“Yeah,” Steve said, shameless. “Usually more with free rides and arcade money, but I’ve used ice cream before.”
“You’re so weird,” Robin blurted out. Then she froze. It was practically social suicide to call Steve Harrington weird.
But Steve didn’t get mad. He just laughed and said “you have no idea.”
“Yo, Harrington,” called a basketball player walking down the hall. “Hurry up, you’ll be late for practice.”
“I’m not going today!” Steve called back. “I’m sick.” He gave a very unconvincing cough.
The basketball player rolled his eyes. “Lovesick, maybe.”
Steve scowled playfully. “Fuck off, man.”
“I’ll tell Coach you’re too pussy-whipped to play,” the basketball player said.
“Don’t you dare!” Steve called. Robin expected him to sound more offended at being called pussy-whipped. No teenage boy wanted to be told he would do anything a girl told him to do, even in exchange for sex. And Steve was definitely not getting sex. But the insult rolled off Steve like water off a duck’s back. “Tell him I have the flu.”
“Sure, sure, whatever.” The boy rolled his eyes as he disappeared around the corner.
Steve closed his locker. “Ready to go?”
“You’re not going to basketball?”
“No,” Steve said. “We’re getting milkshakes. I’m not giving up a chance to make Robin Buckley my best friend.”
“Aren’t you, like, first chair?” Robin said. She watched a lot of basketball games by virtue of being in band, she knew it was called starting line. But she enjoyed seeing Steve’s face scrunch up at her words.
Steve groaned. “God, that is annoying. Remind me to stop calling Dustin’s campaigns his nerd practices.”
“Who’s Dustin and what are campaigns?”
“A kid I babysit, and a Dungeons and Dragons game.”
Robin blinked. “Dungeons and Dragons? That Hellfire game?”
“Yeah,” Steve said. “He’s not in high school yet, so he doesn’t play with Eddie as his DM, but I’m sure he’ll join in a few years.”
DM? Was that some Hellfire term?
Apparently the new Steve Harrington knew the terms to nerd games. He stage-kissed lesbians at parties and thought it was worth skipping basketball practice for a chance to be Robin’s friend.
“Who are you?” Robin asked. “And what have you done with Steve?”
“I’m a time traveller from the future,” Steve said.
Robin laughed. What a nerd. “No, really.”
Steve started walking backwards down the hallway, keys swinging around his fingers. “I’ll tell you over milkshakes.”
He held a hand out to her, beckoning, a hopeful smile on his face, and it didn’t feel like a joke anymore. Robin had no clue why, but Steve Harrington really wanted to be her friend.
Robin peeled herself off the lockers and took Steve’s hand, their fingers twining together, letting him pull her outside.
i think Will deserves to also get Steve's help with his hair.
like. he wouldnt charge for it, it'd still be a home done hair cut like joyce does, but the bowls would remain in the kitchen, and would go nowhere near the hair.
it'd be cut with actual stylist shears so no rough cuts here because i bet Steve has some for touch ups when he cant afford an actual stylist now he's working minimum wage, so he'll sort baby byers' hair out for free!
and maybe Jonathan's too cause "fuck dude, thats one hell of a mop right there. lemme just. zhoosh it up for ya. tell Nance i said 'you're welcome.'"
But Will especially, because Will deserves to be the bi awakening to all the age appropriate boys around him too cause he's very handsome and tall an he's getting some broadness to those shoulders, the bowlcut is just destroying his game.
make Mike realise that actually he's gotta sort his shit out because Will?
Not gonna be single forever kthnx, and he did technically start the process of letting Mike go in the back of that pizza van! HURRY UP MIKE CHOP CHOP.
Gareth the Great's just had his bi awakening thanks to Steve and his poolside summer time show and Will's like. Right there growing into quite the young hunk.
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Eddie lingers by the Lite-Brite, while Robin and Nancy thunder downstairs in search of the bikes; Steve can hear the echo of their voices as they go, Robin insisting that she get, “—the coolest looking bike, Nance, that’s only fair considering your goddamn outfit nearly strangled me,” followed by Nancy’s answering laughter.
Eddie doesn’t look like he’s heard them at all. Looks like he’s in a world of his own, actually.
His fingers trail through the air, creating a path of golden shimmers. His eyes are wide, entranced, and he suddenly looks so peaceful that the sight actually threatens to choke Steve up.
Maybe it’s a small thing compared to everything else. But Steve thinks it’s monumental: how despite every horror that he’s witnessed, despite everything, Eddie’s still reaching for the light.
The thought is familiar, a reminder of how he’d felt just minutes before, hearing Dustin and Erica’s triumphant giggles—hope and affection catching in his throat.
He’d almost forgotten that all of this could be fun, too.
Eddie’s fingers keep weaving—he doubles back on himself several times, like he’s trying to draw the light into his palm. There’s no discernible pattern to his movements, no half-formed words Steve can make out—he only sees Eddie’s complete and utter contentment in doing nothing but this: just drinking the moment in.
It makes Steve think of how he used to consider the Fourth of July as a kid. Before the big fireworks show, when it felt like time had slowed, like the whole world had narrowed down to just him and a dazzling sparkler in his hand.
Steve watches on, leaning against the doorframe; he wants—suddenly, desperately—to give Eddie all the time in the world.
But he has to settle for counting out increasingly long seconds in his head. Then he suppresses a sigh, gives a gentle tap, tap along the wall.
“Eddie,” Steve says softly. Then, when Eddie still hasn’t heard, just a touch louder: “Eddie.”
Eddie startles, blinking rapidly. His eyes refocus, land on Steve—but a slightly dreamy, captivated quality remains, as if he’s still seeing an afterimage of the lights.
“Oh,” he says, sounds almost sheepish.
“Hey,” Steve says, smiling. “You doing good over there? You look like you found proof that, like, Santa’s real or something.”
Eddie chuckles under his breath, but he doesn’t reply.
His hand returns to that spot again, dipping in and out of the light like he’s sat by a creek, fingers dragging through the water.
“Y’know,” Eddie begins, so quietly. Achingly wistful. “If it was all like this… I wouldn’t mind it.”
The feeling hits, tugs on Steve’s breastbone. It doesn’t hurt.
He keeps looking at Eddie, at the flickers of gold reflected in his pupils, and he silences the part of himself that insists he shouldn’t have time for this, and just thinks it anyway.
You’re beautiful, Eddie Munson.
That’s all. Nothing else, no qualifications.
Maybe here, things can be simple. Just this once.
Eddie drops his hand. The light fades away, but he’s staring at Steve, like something else has inexplicably been lit up right in front of him.
“What?” Steve says.
“Nothing,” Eddie says, almost a whisper. “Sometimes I just. I just think. You, um—you look at me like…”
Slowly, slowly, Steve steps further into the room.
“Like what?”
Another step.
Eddie shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says. Adds nonsensically, “Must’ve been a trick of the light.”
“I don’t think so,” Steve says.
He reaches out a hand. Feels the warmth beneath his palm.
Eddie lifts his hand, so hesitantly. He edges ever closer, until the shimmery trails from their fingertips begin to merge into one.
Until their hands intertwine.
For a moment, Eddie stands frozen, and Steve’s ready to draw back.
But then Eddie inhales. He’s not looking at the lights, not anymore.
He’s looking at me, Steve thinks.
Perhaps has been for a while.
“Yes?” Eddie murmurs, lips barely moving.
“Yes,” Steve says.
He leans in.
The kiss is a small thing, really. Warm, tentative touches—a stumble before finding each other in the dark.
Such a small thing.
But to Steve, it’s monumental.
He feels it in his chest, like a tidal wave, and as he brings a hand up to cradle the side of Eddie’s face, he thinks that the lights are somehow in his chest too, like they’re both swallowing flecks of gold until they’re glowing with it, until the beams’ll shoot out of their fingers, their toes, the ends of their hair.
And here, in this house that’s frozen in time, it somehow feels like they’re stealing more of it, precious seconds, minutes—hell, give me hours, Steve thinks euphorically, give me years—
“Steve!” calls Robin’s voice distantly, and they both jump. “Get your ass in gear or I’m gonna slash your tires.”
“Uh, have a little patience, puh-lease!” Steve returns, a role reversal from all the times she’s run late for him to pick her up.
Eddie blinks, looks as if he’s holding his breath again; his eyes flicker over Steve’s face, like he’s expecting him to pull away.
Steve doesn’t.
A tender, lovely smile spreads across Eddie’s face.
And then they’re laughing into each other’s mouths.
And laughing leads to more…
“Harrington,” Eddie says, but he’s smiling too much for it to come across as remotely serious.
“Just a little longer,” Steve says—feels like he’s back in high school, joyful and silly.
Eddie laughs breathily; Steve presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth, swallows the sound.
“If Buckley slashes your tires, you’re gonna have to, like, book it alongside us.”
“Or we could share a bike.”
A disbelieving, fond chuckle. “Steve.”
Eddie breaks away only to lean back in and kiss Steve’s cheek instead—and for some reason that’s the thing to make Steve’s breathing truly catch.
They’re still holding hands; he rediscovers that fact when Eddie grins slyly and pulls him to the door.
“Let’s go.”
“All right, all right, jeez.”
The room is left in darkness, but they’re laughing as they race each other downstairs—and though the shimmers have dissolved, they’re still leaving light in their wake, wherever they go next.
maybe if i keep talking about gseb i might actually write it.
originally posted 2/07/23
Robin has spent plenty of time watching Steve Harrington from the shadows. The way he continuously stayed on the sidelines of the rest of his friends' bullying was interesting. He never said too much of anything when it happened, didn't look all that interested in it, either. Just leaned against a locker and looked bored out of his mind.
Until a week before Thanksgiving break a couple years ago, when Tommy Hagan started bragging to anyone who'd listen about how Steve got his shit rocked by Jonathan Byers and promptly dumped him and Carol to the curb after. Sure, Tommy made sure to mention that Steve was the one to push until Jonathan finally snapped and punched him, but he didn't say how Steve had gone limp after. Letting Byers rearrange his face until a teacher ran over to break them up.
She remembers how lost he'd looked in the aftermath. Like he was a shell of himself.
So yeah. Steve Harrington isn't the same person he was in high school. Or at least he's trying not to be, that much Robin has noticed since he started working at Scoops at the beginning of the summer. But she didn't think he'd changed so much to be openly flirting with the Freak of Hawkins.
Well. Not exactly flirting, but there's something there Robin can't quite put her finger on.
Steve's manning the counter, right where she'd left him twenty minutes ago, but instead of looking like the picture of boredom slinging ice cream to annoying kids, he's leaned his elbows on the counter where Eddie Munson is doing the same on the other side. They're too quiet for Robin to hear what they're talking about but Steve's fingers are hooked on Eddie's watch, not pulling or tugging. Just resting.
Eddie's hands are clasped in front of him but his pointer finger keeps reaching out to lightly stroke Steve's arm, and that's when it hits Robin like a slap in the face.
They're domestic.
The lobby is empty, save for Eddie's friends that now occupy one of the booths, loudly arguing over something but Robin could care less because at that moment, Steve says something that has Eddie letting out a cackle laugh, his nose scrunched up and his shoulders shaking as he laughs. Her eyes slide over to Steve and he's.
Huh.
Gone is the usual smug smirk that graces his face when a girl laughs at one of his (awful) jokes, and is replaced by something... fond. His face is relaxed into a small smile and his round Bambi eyes are shining with mirth. Like he'd expected this reaction. Sometime during this, their fingers have tangled together in a subtle hand-hold across the counter and holy shit.
Steve Harrington is dating Eddie Munson.
One of Eddie's friends (Jeff, she thinks. They had pre-calc together.) says something and Steve only rolls his eyes as he replies. Eddie's grinning at them over his shoulder. Neither of their postures have changed. Robin feels like the room's spinning.
She knows about Eddie. Eddie knows about her. It's never been verbally said, but birds of a feather and all that. It doesn't have to be. She must accidentally bump into something in her attempt to rebalance the world because Steve's head is snapping toward her and panic flashes in his eyes as he tries to rip his hands away from Eddie's.
Eddie only holds them tighter as he locks eyes with her.
"It's alright, sweetheart," he tells Steve in a hushed tone. In front of him, Steve's visibly shaking like a leaf, mouth opening and closing but not making a sound. Robin's heart breaks a little. He looks downright terrified. Eddie's eyes haven't left her. "She's safe. Aren't you, Birdie?"
The question is directed at her. She swallows and nods quickly. "Y-yeah!" She winces at the volume of it. Clearing her throat, she tries again, taking a step forward like she's approaching a frightened animal. "You can trust me, Steve." Uses his first name instead of the 'dingus' that's grown affectionate. "I'm—" She glances over at the booth that's gone quiet. She doesn't want to out herself to the entire freak population of Hawkins High.
"I'm a friend," she settles on.
It takes Steve a moment for it to sink in, and when it does, his eyes somehow grow bigger in understanding. "Oh," he breathes out, like a sigh of relief. Eddie's rubbing his thumb over Steve's knuckles.
"Yeah, dingus." Robin's close enough now to nudge his shoulder with hers. "Oh. Why don't you go on break? I've got this."
Steve gives her a grateful look and tugs Eddie to the booth to join Eddie's —their— friends.
"It's about damn time you guys remembered the rest of us," the curly haired one complains as they both slide in on the same side. Eddie throws a straw wrapper at him and Robin stops paying attention after that.
It’s like a normal library. Libraries can upload ebooks there and let people check them out through openlibrary if you have an openlibrary account, or it can point you to nearby libraries that have physical copies of the book for you to go and check out. If you check out books via openlibrary it counts towards the count of books checked out from the library that uploaded the ebook, and they can use it in their reporting and funding and stuff.
There’s like 150 libraries partnered with openlibrary so far.
They also have copies that you can check out if you are print-disabled.
You can also ‘sponsor a book’, which means you pay the cost of the ebook you want openlibrary to acquire, and then they can add it to their collection and let people check it out.
And click on a title even if it says ‘no ebook available’ and scroll down, ‘cause sometimes that just means “all of the copies of ebooks are checked out right now but you can get on the waitlist when it’s back in”
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Steve has never seen his father as upset, as furious, as he was when he got home with his final exam results. He'd known- suspected- that his father would flip when his results came in...
His father got angry at small things. Hearing that he'd had a party while they were away, that a girl went missing at that party, had been the closest Steve thought he'd ever get to recieving a beating.
But when he came home with his grades... when his father realized that his son, his supposed prodigy, barely passed...
Steve has never ran as fast as he currently is.
As soon as he'd seen an openning, a clear line to the door, he'd stumbled to his feet and bolted. He'd picked a random direction and ran. He isn't going to stop running until he physically has to stop, knowing that his father is most likely in his car, trying to find him.
He can't stop. He has to keep running.
Eventually, he has to pause. He has to catch his breath.
He leans against a trailer, panting. He prays that no one thinks to look outside and spot him. He prays that no one will-
"Harrington?"
"Fuck." He hisses, squinting up at- "Munson?"
"What the fuck happened to you?" He says, eyes widenning when he finally gets a look at his face. "Second round with Hargrove, or what?"
"Nothing happened, I'm fine."
Munson eyes him for a moment, frowning. "Is someone after you?"
"What do you care?" Steve heaves a deep breath, forcing himself to stand up straight. He brings his knees up in a few knee highs, gearing up for another sprint.
"Ugh. Just- you can come into my trailer," Munson says, sounding as though Steve is forcing him to make the suggestion. "No one would think to look for you there. You can, like... I don't know. Drink some water? You jocks do that, right?"
"Wh- I don't need your help!"
"I'm not waiting for you all day, come on, let's go!" He makes a wide, exaggerated gesture for Steve to follow.
"You just assume I'm gonna follow?"
"Yeah."
He sounds so confident, so sure, that Steve can't think to do anything other thank blink and say, "fuck it, yeah, alright."
Steve is a little surprised at how much space Eddies trailer has. It's cramped, but in a nice way- the way a home gets when people actually live in it. When the people inside are actually happy and chase those joys.
Munson does get him a glass of water, mumbling at him to "sit anywhere", before flopping onto the sofa himself. He turns the TV on, focusing on that.
"Thanks," Steve eventually mutters, awkwardly sitting down.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Nothing to talk about."
"Sure."
"There isn't," he insists, despite how casual and accepting Munson is acting. "It's my fault, anyway. I deserved it."
"Did you?" Munson turns to him, eyebrow raised. "All us freaks and losers can talk about these days is your change of heart. King of Hawkins High turned lame boytoy."
"Thanks, that makes me feel so much better," Steve sneers.
"Even Jeff thinks you're alright now," he barrels on. "Said he bumped into you, pretty hard, knocked all your shit down, and you apologized. Said his coffee ended up on an essay, or something. Thought he was about to get his ass kicked and you just..."
He waves his hand at him, as though that's explination enough.
Steve doesn't know a Jeff, but he's pretty sure he knows who Munson is talking about, and; "I wasn't looking where I was going. If anything, we were both at fault."
"See?" Munson waves his hand at him again, a little more pointed. "Don't doubt you've got a long way to go, but you're not half-bad. You didn't deserve whatever the fuck happened to your face."
"Whatever."
They fall quiet, both pretending to watch whatever is on the TV. Steve is so zoned out that, when someone clears their throat, he flinchs.
"Sorry to startle you boys," the man chuckles. But the humor quickly teeters out, once he gets a good look at Steve. "You alright, kid?"
"I'm fine."
"He's not," Munson grins wide when Steve glares at him.
"Staying the night?" The man continues, only looking at Eddie now.
"If I can convince him," Munson shrugs.
"I can't stay the night," Steve tries.
"Good," the man nods, as though Steve hadn't said anything. "I'll start making us all some dinner." He finally looks to Steve. "You got any allergies?"
"I can't stay," Steve tries again, insisting.
"No," Munson answers for him. "No problems with meat either."
The man gives Munson a thumbs up, heading through to the kitchen.
"I can't stay," Steve repeats, turning to Munson. "Really. I have to go back or... I have to go back."
"What will happen if you don't go back?"
Steve grimaces. "Nothing. Just- I can't stay here."
"Why not? They gonna hit me too?"
"You know what, Munson? Yeah, probably. And your- your dad?"
"Uncle," Munson snorts, standing, stretching. "No one messes with us though. We're too scary." He wiggles his fingers in Steves face as he passes by. "And call me Eddie."
"Why?"
"It's my name."
Steve awkwardly follows him to the kitchen, hovering a good distance from the two of them, watch how they move around each other with so much comfort and ease. It makes something in Steves chest ache.
"Oh, hey, you like football right?" Eddie asks, pointing to him.
"Uh, yeah, kinda. Not enough to have, like, a team." Steve shrugs.
Wayne turns around slowly, eyebrows raised. "You don't got a team?"
Talking football with Wayne is so easy that, until he's halfway through the dinner he cooked, Steve doesn't notice how fast the time is going. He can't bring himself to be bothered though. It's too nice.
Plus, Eddie is almost bouncing with joy at how well Steve and Wayne are getting along.
Someone starts banging on the door, loud and aggressive, as they make their way to the kitchen.
"Alright!" Wayne calls, rolling his eyes. "Hold your horses."
Steves stomach drops when the door opens and his father is on the other side. He smiles at Steve, sickly sweet and dangerously calm.
"Oh, thank God," he sighs. "Steve, your mother and I have been looking all over for you. When you didn't get home-"
Wayne blocks his way when he tries to step inside. "Who are you?"
"Robert Harrington," Steves dad sniffs, leaning back so he can physically look down at Wayne. "I'm here for my son."
"He ain't here."
Robert Harrington splutters, face tinting red with anger and frustration. He points to Steve, voice raising as he says, "he's right there! And he's coming with me."
Wayne turns, slow and casual. "Huh. That's odd. Don't see him."
"Steve," he snaps his fingers at Steve, like he's a dog. "Come on. We're going home."
Eddie shifts so he's standing slightly in front of him.
It's enough reassurance for him to finally snap back; "I'm not going anywhere with you."
"Steven-"
"Get off my property," Wayne snaps.
His father glares at them, waiting, as though he expects them to back down. When he doesn't, he snarls; "this is kidnapping."
"He's 18," Eddie drawls.
Grumbling, he stomps off.
"Asshole," Wayne mutters. He shuts and locks the door, sliding on the chain too.
Steve has to sit down, with how much his legs are shaking.
"You alright?" Eddie asks, hesitantly sitting beside him.
"Yeah," Steve says. He's surprised to find he means it. "Yeah, I'm good."
"You can stay here, long as you need," Wayne offers. "You'll have to bunk with Eds though. Not a lot of room."
"Why can't he use the sofa when you're-"
"Nope," Wayne cuts him off. There's a glint of mischief in his eyes that has Steve squinting in suspicion. "And you'll need those cuts looking at. Eddie, why don't you go with him. Medkits in the bathroom."
Steve goes ahead when Eddie points the way to the bathroom.
Eddie tries to give Wayne a warning look but he's unbothered and, with Steves back turned, he gives Eddie an encouraging wink.
A small brain worm I threw at @henderdads and now I can't get it out of my head...also guys, this is about the musical. Only the musical. Please. Don't come at me and attempt to burn me at stake for heresy. Double please.
Musical singers Steve and Eddie.
They are both very talented, well known, have an amazing stage presence. They never starred anywhere together, but people would love to see them because their voices are exact opposites, Steve's clear and perfected, Eddie's more raw and full of emotion. They don't know each other, but know OF each other.
Steve thinks Eddie should have been a rocker and not a musical singer. He always sticks out of his roles a bit, bringing a lot of himself into his roles. He's also rumored to have an inconsistent work morale.
Eddie thinks Steve is a pompous ass. He had the perfect education, connections, his voice is flawless while Eddie has a bit of a rasp. He's Mr. Perfect and Eddie hates it.
Eventually, they get cast in a production together...of Jesus Christ Superstar, Steve as Jesus and Eddie as Judas. They greet each other cautiously, start rehearsing...and magic happens.
Because Steve, the Grease posterboy, can portray so much pain and loneliness it takes Eddie's breath away. The way two single tears roll from his eyes when he asks God why he should die is...it stirrs something in Eddie. He believes Steve.
Eddie makes Steve speechless when he sings about how everything they've worked for has become sour, how he's torn between his loyalty to Jesus and drive to take action, do something to feel like he's fixing the injustices of the world. Eddie's dark eyes show so much hurt and internal turmoil that Steve wants to hold him.
And the final number, Superstar. It is a show number, it can be taken more lightly, but Eddie manages to convey his regret, his lingering questions, and Steve reaches for him with bloodied fingers, mouthing "help me", knowing all too well Eddie can't.
The crowd goes nuts. There are flowers everywhere, cheering, yelling, and Steve and Eddie finally agree on something - none of their premieres have felt like this.
The second the curtain drops, Eddie turns to Steve. "Uh. Could you maybe get changed?" When Steve stares at him, Eddie turns a beautiful shade of pink visible even through the stage makeup and clarifies. "Look, it's not like I'm really religious, but I really, really want to kiss you now. And it would feel really weird with...that."
Steve snickers and adjusts his prop thorn crown. "You're a wise man, Eddie Munson. The fake blood tastes awful. Meet you outside in fifteen?"
After the first kiss, a fun dinner and a very exciting night, Eddie asks Steve: "so, you think they'd cast me in Grease with you?"
His boyfriend snickers and kisses his cheek. "I sure hope so, you'd look great in a blonde wig."
And yes, it might earn Steve a hit with a pillow, but Eddie always sings along to Summer Lovin' with him whenever they cook together and that's all that matters.
there is always steddie fic with one (or more) of the characters missing. Which yes, yes it’s fine. You can’t squeeze all dynamics into fics, especially if you are focusing on the pairing. What I won’t accept? No Robin Buckley. She needs to be at least be mentioned. She doesn’t need to be there but her presence needs to be acknowledged. That is the bare minimum. Honestly, she need to be included in mass variety in every fic. There is no Steve without Robin, and there is no Robin without Steve. You will have to pry my favorite platonic soulmates from my cold, dead hands. Am I a steddie truther through and through? Yes. Do I respect other pairings even though they aren’t my favorites? Also yes. But do I ultimately put platonic stobin first and foremost? Absolutely. You think these lovable dinguses that share one brain cell don’t become best friends in every universe??? Sorry, your wrong. Steve and Robin are bound together by forces in which we will never understand.
duffer brothers smartest decision ever was making this friendship happen.
i dont rhink you understand. steve getting pushed against the wall with a bottle to his neck and robin having to be held back by dustin to prevent her from beating eddie up. robin rolling up her sleeves and having the most murderous look on her face when she sees steve flinch when eddie leans in closer. robin running over to steve as soon as he's freed and rubbing his back and checkinf up on him because she was so so worried. you dont get it.
tony’s been dreaming of the day peter and harley meet, because he just knows they’ll get on like a house on fire.
he, however, certainly doesn’t expect their first meeting to be them getting kidnapped together, over 900 miles apart. he also doesn’t expect the frantic phone call he gets two sleepless days later, from their kidnapper, begging him to please come get the kids because they’re so fucking irritating.
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Steve doing a whole Bit™️ while cleaning his pool in nothing but a wet, cropped shirt and shorts one summer after the world doesn't end.
He's got music playing from his open bedroom window. He's got a pool net in one hand, alternating using it as both a mic and a guitar.
He's also got an audience of the entire hellfire club in his sun room but he has no idea they're there because Eddie has sworn them to absolute silence so he can Enjoy This™️ an if they speak, they're doomed.
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