sarims list of relationships:
random men and boys around highever: a solid handful of individuals over the course of his life who he had trysts with (varying levels of success) but he used to be fairly more comfortable with his sexuality
random women and girls around highever: fewer than the men and boys but still a fair amount. he experimented and it never went amazing
delilah howe: was meant to marry her. slight interest in her as a person to speak with but she can't stand him (too stuck up)
dairren: fumbled him horrendously and he wasn't even cute. foreboding omen of total destruction soon to come
ser gilmore: sarim loves men older and more capable than him. but he died. sad!
alistair: forever bonded by war and violence and grey warden-isms. made out with him once in a bid to get alistair to beat the shit out of him because he hated himself so much. didn't work. relationship is never truly open and honest and real, and therefore was unsustainable after the war. they still think about each other
bann teagan: sarim loves older and more experienced men and was exorbitantly invested in his continued survival. but then teagan abandons him in redcliffe and sarim kills his nephew sooo
leliana: comphet 101 - get into a relationship that makes zero sense because you are scared how it will look if you ignore the only young available woman at camp. be extremely disgruntled but reticent when she actually tries to have a relationship with you. break up with her to marry the queen and get slightly annoyed that she isn't more mad at you for it
zevran: comphet 102 - kill the assassins who flirt with you because you're scared what their presence might reveal about yourself
random man at the pearl who looks like zevran: snuck out alone to brothel, got attacked by bandits, slept with a man who looks like a guy you killed weeks ago. tries not to think about it
anora: comphet 103 - make a desperate bid for power by marrying the queen. stay married to her for the rest of your life. never really learn what she's like
morrigan: completely alienate and distrust her until the last second when he has to sleep with her to not die
orlesian spy undercover as his seneschal: tricks himself into thinking he's totally owning this whole long-running-affair-under-his-wife's-nose thing, turns out she knows he's doing it and doesn't care, and then the guy tries to kill him and escapes alive
sebastian vael: emotionally and sexually unsatisfying affair that they carry on for years for no reason until sarim dies tragically and pyhrrically at like 45
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