Worlds best sorcerer

We all know that Lucifer is the big brother responsible for everything, but what about the other big brothers?

(A/N: was gonna do Levi but I got lazy, I'll put him in a part two!)

Mammon’s brows furrow from the sight of his younger brother– usually in a decent mood– being more upset than angry. He huffs softly and approaches the Avatar of Wrath who was sullen and upset. Mammon sits there, nudging Satan a little and smiles down at his hunched figure.

“What?” Satan grumbles out, his voice lacking the usual snap and fiery tone– one that Mammon sure was familiar with.

“What’s up with ya, hm?” Mammon leans back against the wooden bench, head tilting back as his shimmery blue eyes observe the everlasting moon of the Devildom. His eyes trail back to the sulking blonde– who huffs and turns his head away. Mammon sits straight up, expecting indifference yet is met with a hesitant reply.

I went, "What. no. she/her."

"How does that work? With she/her/hers and they/them?"

I stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Well you came out as-" and I said, "I'm asexual."

She replied, "Like an amoeba, I know."

"Oh. My god. No. Mom. It doesn't- it's not the asexual you learned about in biology. I didn't come out as a single celled organism."

With heavy relief, she said "Oh, it has a different meaning?"

sources: unknown // unknown // maplepecanpastry on tumblr // ashmanathletics on tiktok // i saw the tv glow (2024) // pray for me by kendrick lamar // unknown // what are you waiting for? by derald cannon jr. // unknown // unknown // drunk drivers/killer whales by car seat headrest // polekingrasputin on instagram

I actually really liked reading Archie as a child so this feels appropriate

You watched as every other demon in the room yawned, too.

Lucifer had the grace to cover his mouth with a gloved hand. His deep voice always made for a very pleasant yawn.

Mammon moved his arm as if to cover his mouth, but changed his mind halfway and instead stretched it above his head, which he threw back to yawn into the air. It looked very satisfying.

Leviathan kept both hands firmly on his D.D.D. No yawn, nor hiccup, nor sneeze would break his full combo, even if his yawn was very vocal.

A tear appeared in the corner of Satan's eye when he quietly yawned. He wiped it away, then wiped his finger off on his pants before turning the page of his novel.

Asmodeus used the back of his hand to cover his yawn. It was very classy, and his pinky finger stuck out a bit from his other fingers.

Beelzebub had some food stuck in his teeth, which were visible when he yawned. You noted that everyone's teeth looked pointier than usual with their mouths wide open. He ended his yawn by smacking his lips.

Diavolo even lets you pilfer all of the pillow mints and tiny shampoos. He calls it compensation for having to share a room with him, as all of the adjacent suites sell out fast. Or, so he says.

The only thing that bugs you is etiquette. You never quite know how to act in certain situations, or how to publicly bring something to the prince's attention when there's something important to say.

"Lord Diavolo," you say, hesitantly interrupting his discussion with a delegation of noble vampires.

"Yes? Why so formal? You are not one of my denizens," he reminds you. "You know you can drop the title."

You hesitate before you address him again. "Diavolo."

He appears delighted when he replies, "Yes?"

"It's not that I dislike it, but, uh... I'm worried for your public image if you keep patting me like this."

"Hm?"

With only one arm needed for firm handshakes, Diavolo's other hand naturally drifted to your head, where he kept giving you plenty of headpats.

You don't think the prince is conscious of it. It's a habit he forgets to shake when the two of you aren't alone, and a habit that makes your hair all messy. You look more like a pet than an official representative of the human world.

Lucifer, lightly touching MC with the side of his foot: "MC, move out of the way please so I don’t trip on you."

Don't look down, you thought to yourself. The prince was in demon form for official business and you were helping during a quick break. You handed him a cup of water and took a step back. Don't look down.

"Is something the matter?" he asked perceptively. You didn't usually keep your distance.

"Nothing," you lied. You pretended to be fixated on a corner of the wall. It was a great corner.

Diavolo immediately clocked your dishonesty and took a step closer. "Did something happen while I was busy?"

"Not at all," you assured. You bravely looked him in the eye and earnestly explained, "everyone here has been really accommodating. They're treating me as part of your entourage."

"Well, that's a relief," he said. Diavolo brought the water to his lips. As he drank, your eyes slid down to his navel. The prince took a gulp and you swiveled your head back towards the ceiling.

Diavolo raised an eyebrow and followed your gaze. There was nothing on the ceiling. He took another step closer, causing you to tense up. It was hard not to see all the skin he was showing.

"Is this form bothering you?"

"Not at all." Your voice cracked as you tried to say, "It's very majestic."

Diavolo laughed. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the laugh spread out from his stomach, rippling muscles as it spread upwards. He placed the empty cup in your hand. It was warm.

"If you have an interest in demon forms, I can help you get used to mine later." He stretched his wings and rolled his shoulders, preparing to get back to work.

You determined his pants must be staying up with magic. There was no way they could hang that low despite all of the movement, and be that loose, without revealing his crown jewels. Magic had to be involved. The cloth around his waist looked like it would expose everything with one quick tug, but there was no way the royal family would risk that happening. Mysterious forces had to be at play.

You didn't realize you were staring intensely until Diavolo laughed again and ruffled your hair. It startled you.

Your image caption read, "btw when you're being mean to me, this is who you're being mean to."

No hashtags. People would find it anyway.

It was a normal photo. You thought the light was kind of flattering and you captured a decent angle. You didn't look special, though. You were center frame, in your everyday RAD uniform, making a peace sign with your fingers. You hoped most demons understood what a peace sign was.

Beside you were the Seven Rulers of Hell. Their presence looked so relaxed that any common demon who was used to their cold and untouchable visages would immediately do a double-take.

Lucifer had his hand on your shoulder in a gentle yet possessive grip. Next to him was Mammon, reaching over to put his sunglasses on your face. Beelzebub rested his chin on the crown of your head as Asmodeus gave the two of you bunny ears with his fingers. Leviathan poked out from under your arm, which was linked around Satan's elbow. The top half of Belphegor's head barely made it in the frame. He was crouched under Lucifer, grabbing on to the side of your shirt and partially blocked by your hand that was taking the selfie.