track two: big deal

'i'm surprised that you're the one who said it first' - my girlfriend said 'i love you' to me first in may 2024 and i was surprised, to say the least (i didn't say it back straight away but i very much felt it)

'if you had waited a few years, i would've burst' - i never would've said it first

'so what changes, if anything? / maybe everything can stay the same' - in the first week we became friends (knowing it would probably become more than that) we made a pact saying that no matter how this ends, we'll still be cool with each other, and things will stay the same

'do you remember? you say "how could i forget?"' - we both remember everything that has ever happened between us

track three: ankles

'then help me with the crossword in the morning / you are gonna make me tea / gonna ask me how did i sleep' - the simplicity of mundane life together, we would play connections (the nyt game) every morning and she would make me tea (i love living with my girlfriend)

'how lucky are we to have so much to lose?' - !!!

track five: modigliani

'why does it feel significant? / why do i have to tell you about it?' - me and my dying need to tell my girlfriend about every little thing that happens in my day and my dying need to know about every little thing in her day too

'you make me homesick for places i've never been before' - my girlfriend constantly talks about her hometown (which i first visited a month after this album came out) as well as the country she spends every summer in

'meeting your family was a trip' - i spent two weeks in my girlfriend's hometown that summer, staying in her childhood home with her family and i was high the entire time

'you've got all these mannerisms that you never do' - meeting my girlfriend's friends and noticing all the little phrases they all share

'i like watching you win over a new crowd' - i loved seeing my girlfriend meet my friends, seeing how her charm works on them too

'but i feel better when you call / just to tell me how you are' - long distance relationships will be the death of me

track seven: for keeps

'i don't believe in anything anymore / except you and me supremacy' - facts

'but i still miss you when i'm with you / cause i know we're not playing for keeps' - this was my thought process the entire time we were living together, because i knew it was gonna have to come to an end and i didn't know when the next time we would get this again

track eight: forever is a feeling

'i remember everywhere we've ever been and went' - i actually do, for a while i could remember specifically every calendar date during out first year of uni together and exactly what we did each day

'i remember thinking you were pretty when we met' - i remember my exact thoughts when i met my girlfriend for the first time, i remember how cool she looked and how i was so intrigued by her, i remember what she was wearing (that same sweater she wore that day she gifted to me for my 21st birthday), i remember the first words i spoke to her (she asked if anyone was sat at a chair and i said "no, you can sit"), i remember everything

track nine: come out

'even on opposite sides of the room / i am orbiting you' - funny story, a few weeks into our study abroad placement, my girlfriend was moved away from me in the classroom because we would talk too much; she was at the front, i was at the back and at any chance we'd sneak over to each other if the teacher wasn't looking

'i used to think that'd be the worst / to grow old and run out of words' - a friend once asked me if me and my girlfriend ever ran out of things to talk about since we were each other's main friend, and we said that we've covered almost every conversation topic

track ten: best guess

'you are my girl / you are my pack a day / you are my favourite place' - i somehow have not obtained a nicotine addiction during my relationship with my girlfriend who is the biggest smoker i know (yet we'd both share a pack a day when we lived together)

'you are my best guess at the future' - the countless nights we spent talking about the future and how if we break up, we'll end up crossing paths in the future and we'll end up together

track twelve: most wanted man

'now i feel your hand under the table at the fancy restaurant' - one of my fondest memories from near the end of my year abroad, my girlfriend took me out to the same fancy restaurant we had visited at the start of the year and it was beautiful and magical (it actually reminded me of the restaurant scene in tfios which is funny)

'living the dream before we fully pass our prime' - i think we really did live the dream, all before we were even 20

'i'll have time to write the book on you' - i actually do plan to write a book on her at some point

track thirteen: lost time (extended)

'it's almost spring and i can't wait and i can't think' - my precise thoughts when this album came out

'i love you and every day / that i knew and didn't say / is lost time' - i often feel like there's a constant countdown with our relationship and i'm constantly worrying about all the time we're never gonna get back

'i wish that we could have a place that we could share' - our little blue and green flat will always hold such a special place in my heart (it's insane to think there's this random flat in this random country that has pieces of us all over it)

'not only stolen moments in abandoned halls / quiet touch in elevators and bathroom stalls' - whilst walking up the stairs to our classroom every day she would give me a little kiss before entering the hallway, and the elevator that would take us to the ground floor in our flat has our dna everywhere

'nothing lasts forever so let's see how far we get / so when it comes my turn to lose you / i'll have made the most of it' - fuck lucy dacus gets it SO bad

'your face is a language / i'm fluent by now / you can tell me the whole story without saying it out loud' - we often have full conversations just with eye contact

'i notice everything about you, i can't help it / it's not a choice, it's been this way since we met' - i had been plotting on her since day one, it really has been this way since we met