₊˚⊹♡ 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ♡⊹˚₊
౨ৎ click on the titles… if you’re curious ౨ৎ
♡ kpop ♡
Jules of Nature
$LAYYYTER
KIROKAZE
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year


JVL
Three Goblin Art
tumblr dot com

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
todays bird
DEAR READER
ojovivo
art blog(derogatory)

Kiana Khansmith
Not today Justin
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Keni

⁂
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Argentina

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia

seen from Türkiye

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Canada
@vmoonheart
₊˚⊹♡ 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ♡⊹˚₊
౨ৎ click on the titles… if you’re curious ౨ৎ
♡ kpop ♡
enhypen ↳ some lines should not be crossed… and won’t be.
↳ sunghoon
୨୧ the scent of red | part 1 posted — link
୨୧ the scent of red | part 2 posted — link
gothic romance, dark intimacy, something a little dangerous ♡
txt (feelings tend to get out of control here…)
↳ yeonjun
୨୧ after hours posted — link secret relationship,idol!au, quiet longing, secret relationship, light jealousy/possessiveness, soft touches, smut ♡
୨୧ a series of you & me posted — link idol!au, fluffy, sweet, simple, like falling in love slowly ♡
୨୧ a long way from the playground posted — link (long fic) childhood love, friends to lovers,mutual pining, fluff, growing up, staying anyway ♡
୨୧ ruined by her ongoing — link college au, toxic situationship, smut, angst, hurt no comfort (or is there?) reader as the villain core,bad decisions, worse feelings, and no intention of fixing it ♡
↳ soobin
୨୧ the best friend theory ongoing — link emotionally messy, smut, hot gay best friend rumor, morally gray love,college!au, best friends to lovers, touch-starved idiots, college!au, best friends to lovers, ♡
୨୧ the hidden sequence ongoing — link something is wrong with time. and with you. sci-fi, thriller, romance, fantasy, slow-burn, bit fluff fun ♡
୨୧ love without a counter charm ongoing — link hogwarts au, slow-burn romance, fluff, magic, softness, comfort read, and choosing someone anyway ♡
↳ beomgyu
୨୧ two pieces posted — link historical au, slow burn romance, friends to lovers, gentle love, poetic, patience, a love that takes its time ♡
bts
↳ jungkook
୨୧ the man who forgets every morning posted — link loving someone who has to meet you again… every day, romance, angst, slow burn, hurt/comfort, slice of life, bittersweet♡
୨୧ the alphabet sex playlist posted — link explicit, smut anthology, a collection of very bad decisions ♡
୨୧ still human at the end of the world ongoing — link zombie apocalypse, long fic, slow-burn situationship to lovers, psychological survival, angst, emotional intimacy, smut, the world ends. feelings don’t. ♡
୨୧ something like you — link exes to strangers to lovers · single dad au · fluff · angst · smut · found family · slow burn
nct ↳ jaehyun. always jaehyun.
୨୧ checkmate, rival (jaehyun × fem!reader) posted — link college au, rivals to lovers, slow burn, smut… but soft in the end ♡
♡ other worlds ♡
twilight ↳ jasper. always. ♡
spider-man ↳ love, but make it hurt ♡
umbrella academy ↳ five. forever means forever. ♡
harry potter ↳ magic and very questionable decisions ♡
₊˚⊹♡ notes ♡⊹˚₊
Some works are +18 only / mdni
no minors. ever.
all works are fictional
tags, tropes, and warnings will be listed per fic
this masterlist will grow as my sanity declines.
please don’t repost or translate without permission
everything here is fictional
tag list aways open.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
𝜗𝜚 THE BEST FRIEND THEORY 𝜗𝜚
𝒸𝒽𝑜𝒾 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝒷𝒾𝓃 × 𝒻𝑒𝓂!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓈𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: your best friend is unfairly gorgeous the kind of gorgeous that makes strangers turn twice luckily… he’s gay so it’s harmless when he pulls you into his lap during movie night harmless when he braids your hair while you rant about bad dates harmless when he kisses your temple before exams right?
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮: college au, slow burn → intense burn, smut
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: friends to lovers, hot best friend rumor, dirty talk, manipulation themes, emotional dependency, family pressure, jealousy, smut, masturbation, mdni, fluff, multiple orgasms, mutual pining, morally gray, touch-starved idiots, pregnancy themes in final chapters, obsessive behavior, please read responsibly ♡
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓎𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ˖ ݁dress – taylor swift, shameless – camila cabello, sweater weather – the neighbourhood, killer queen – 5 seconds of summer, love talk – wayv, call it what you want – taylor swift, i wanna be yours – arctic monkeys, peaches & cream – kai, love on the brain – rihanna, do i wanna know? – arctic monkeys, until i found you – stephen sanchez
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓃𝑒 ✧ ɞ˚‧。⋆
The dorm room smells like someone just won the laundry lottery: crisp cotton detergent mixed with that vanilla candle she insists on burning even though it’s basically a fire hazard at this point. The wick is drowning in its own wax, throwing off sweet curls of smoke that fight the coconut shampoo ghost still clinging to everything Soobin touches. From his phone propped against a half-empty iced Americano bottle comes the chillest lo-fi playlist known to man, bass so lazy it’s practically napping. Afternoon sun pours through the floor-to-ceiling window like it’s auditioning for a luxury real-estate ad, painting fat golden stripes across the cream rug that cost more than most people’s rent. Dust motes float through the beams like tiny drunk astronauts. Her left thumb keeps spinning the thin silver ring she bought in a “treat yourself” moment last semester, twisting it clockwise, counterclockwise, clockwise again like she’s trying to unlock something. Soobin’s shoulders are relaxed against the couch back, long legs sprawled, but his left hand rests flat on his thigh—thumb tapping once, twice, three times in perfect sync with the invisible rhythm he’s always hearing. The whole place screams quiet money: soft gray sectional that actually stays clean, plants that haven’t died yet (miracle), no mystery stains, no empty energy-drink cans. Just the kind of effortless niceness that comes from parents who never ask “how much was that?”
She exhales through her nose, slowly, and lets her head tip back against the cushion. The fabric is soft chenille, the kind that costs too much per yard but feels like being hugged by money. Her bare feet are tucked under one of the throw pillows, toes curling into the fringe. Soobin's hoodie—navy, oversized, the one she stole last week and never gave back—hangs loose on her frame, sleeves bunched at her elbows. She can still smell his shampoo on the collar when she turns her head: clean coconut and something faintly woody. Familiar. Safe.
He hasn't said anything in maybe three minutes. Just sits there, scrolling his phone with one hand while the other keeps that slow, absent thumb-tap on his leg. The light hits the side of his face, turning the tips of his dark hair gold-brown, catching the soft curve of his cheek when he breathes. He looks peaceful. Always does around her. Like the world quiets down when she's in the room.
She watches him from the corner of her eye. The way his lashes are stupidly long. The way his mouth rests in a gentle line even when he's not smiling. The way he never slouches like most guys do when they're trying to look cool—he just exists, tall and calm and unbothered. God he's pretty, she thinks, not for the first time. What a fucking waste that he's gay.
The thought lands soft, familiar, almost fond. No sting anymore. Just a fact. Like knowing the sky is blue or that strawberry soju hits differently on an empty stomach. He's her person. The one who remembers she likes her nails almond-shaped and not square. The one who can French-braid better than her own mom ever could. The one who once spent forty minutes debating with her whether Chris Hemsworth's arms or Timothée Chalamet's jawline deserved more thirst tweets, rating them both like it was a legitimate Olympic category. Zero hesitation. Zero fragile masculinity. Just Soobin being Soobin.
She twists the ring again. Faster this time.
He notices—of course he does—and glances over without lifting his head much. His eyes are warm brown, crinkled at the corners already even though he's barely smiling.
"You okay?" he asks, voice low and soft like he's talking to a skittish animal. Which he kind of is. She knows it. He knows it.
"Yeah." She forces a small laugh. "Just thinking how you're literally the only guy I know who can talk about hot guys without making it weird."
Soobin huffs a quiet laugh through his nose. His thumb stops tapping. "Is that a compliment or a roast?"
"Both." She nudges his thigh with her foot under the pillow. "Mostly compliment. You don't get all macho about it. You just… agree. Like when I said that new TA has nice hands and you went 'yeah his fingers are long, good for—' and then made that obscene gesture with zero shame."
He grins now—full, dimples deep, eyes curving into happy half-moons. The kind of smile that makes her stomach do a lazy flip even though she knows better.
"What can I say?" He shrugs one shoulder, casual. "I'm secure in my sexuality."
She snorts. "Understatement of the year."
The playlist shifts to a slower track. The light moves half an inch across the rug as the sun drops lower. Vanilla curls stronger now that the candle's wick is shorter.
Soobin sets his phone down screen-up. Reaches over without asking and takes her left hand—the one still fiddling with the ring. His fingers are long, warm, callus-free because he uses hand cream like it's religion. He turns her hand palm-up, inspects the chipped navy polish on her nails.
"This is peeling already," he murmurs, thumb brushing the edge of one nail. "Want me to fix it later? I still have that quick-dry top coat in my bag."
She doesn't pull away. Why would she? It's just Soobin.
"Yeah," she says, softer than she means to. "That'd be nice."
He nods once. Lets her hand go but doesn't move his own far—leaves it resting on the cushion between them, pinky brushing hers like an afterthought.
She stretches her legs out fully now, bare feet sliding across the couch until her heels bump his hip. The contact is light, casual, the kind of nudge that’s happened a thousand times before. He doesn’t flinch or shift away. Instead he adjusts his posture with that effortless grace he has, long legs folding just enough to give her more room so her ankles end up resting against his side like they belong there. It’s automatic. Muscle memory at this point. Her toes wiggle once against the soft fabric of his sweatpants, seeking the warmth that always seems to radiate off him no matter the season.
Soobin sets his phone face-down on the armrest with a soft clack. The lo-fi track keeps humming, bass line still sleepy, but now it feels like background noise for whatever quiet thing is about to happen between them. He turns his upper body a little more toward her, one elbow propped on the back of the couch, chin resting in his palm. The movement makes the hoodie sleeve she’s wearing ride up her forearm, exposing the thin silver bracelet she forgot she was wearing today. He notices that too, of course. His eyes flick to it for half a second before returning to her face.
She catches the glance and smirks, feeling playful all of a sudden. “What, you gonna offer to polish my jewelry next? You’re already on nail duty.”
He lets out a low chuckle, the sound vibrating through his chest and traveling up her legs where they touch him. “If it’s peeling like your polish, yeah. Can’t have my favorite accessory looking neglected.”
“Favorite accessory,” she echoes, rolling her eyes so dramatically her lashes almost brush her brows. “You say that like I’m not wearing your entire wardrobe half the time.”
“Exactly.” He reaches over and tugs lightly on the drawstring of the hoodie hood that’s bunched around her neck. “This one’s mine. The gray sweatpants yesterday were mine. The black tee with the tiny hole in the collar from last week? Also mine. I’m basically dressing you at this point.”
She laughs, sharp and bright, the sound bouncing off the high ceiling. “You love it. Admit it. You get a weird thrill out of seeing me in your clothes.”
Soobin tilts his head, expression perfectly innocent, but there’s a glint in his eyes that’s pure mischief. “I get a thrill out of knowing you smell like me all day. Territorial much? Maybe.”
She snorts again, louder this time. “Territorial. Please. You’re the least jealous person alive. You literally encouraged me to go out with that barista last month because ‘he has nice forearms and makes good latte art.’ Your exact words.”
He shrugs, unbothered. “He did have nice forearms. And the latte art was on point. I’m supportive like that.”
“Supportive,” she repeats, dragging the word out like it’s evidence in a trial. “You’re supportive the way a gay best friend in a rom-com is supportive. Full enthusiasm, zero competition.”
His smile widens just a fraction, dimples deepening, but he doesn’t correct her. Just let the assumption sit there between them like a cozy blanket neither of them ever bothers to fold up.
She kicks his hip lightly with her heel. “You’re impossible.”
“And you’re comfortable,” he fires back, voice soft but quick. His free hand drifts down and settles loosely around her ankle again, fingers wrapping just enough to hold without gripping. Thumb strokes once over the bone, slow and absentminded, like he’s petting a cat that wandered into his lap.
The touch is so normal it almost doesn’t register as anything more. Almost.
She feels the warmth spread up her calf anyway. Ignores it. Or tries to.
She kicks his hip again, lighter this time, more playful, toes wiggling against the cotton of his sweatpants like she's testing if he'll actually react. Soobin doesn't budge. He just lets his head tip sideways until it rests against the couch back, eyes half-lidded, looking at her like she's the most entertaining documentary he's watched all week.
"You're staring," she says, narrowing her eyes in mock suspicion. "Stop looking at me like I'm about to do something stupid."
He raises one eyebrow so slowly it's basically performance art. "You always do something stupid. I'm just waiting for the live show."
She gasps, dramatic, hand flying to her chest like he wounded her. "Excuse me? My life choices are impeccable. Flawless. Iconic, even."
Soobin snorts so hard his shoulders shake once. "Your last 'iconic' choice was texting that finance bro at 2 a.m. because he said 'you're giving the main character energy.' You came crying to me at 3 because he ghosted you by breakfast."
She groans and flops backward, arms flung wide, hoodie riding up to expose a sliver of stomach. "He had nice teeth, okay? Perfect alignment. Orthodontist-approved. I was blinded by enamel."
"Blinded by enamel," he repeats, deadpan, voice dripping with the kind of dry amusement that should come with a warning label. "That's a new low. Even for you."
She sits up on her elbows, glaring, but the corners of her mouth are already twitching. "You're supposed to be supportive, not savage. Where's my best-friend loyalty?"
"Right here." He leans forward, elbows on his knees now, face closer, voice dropping into that low, conspiratorial tone he uses when he's about to roast her into next week. "Supporting you means telling you the truth. And the truth is your type is walking red flag with a side of gym-bro cologne. I'm doing the lord's work by saving you from yourself."
She throws a throw pillow at his face. He catches it one-handed without blinking, tucks it behind his back like it's a trophy, then reaches out and flicks the end of her nose gently.
"Ow," she whines, rubbing the spot even though it didn't hurt. "Abuse. I'm calling the friendship police."
"Call them. They'll side with me." He grabs her wrist mid-rub, turns her hand over again like it's exhibit A in his ongoing case against her taste in men. "Look at this. Chipped polish. Messy cuticles. You're literally falling apart and still swiping right on guys who can't even text back. Priorities, babe."
She yanks her hand free but doesn't really try hard. "Don't 'babe' me,You're the one who knows how to contour better than half the girls on campus. If anyone's priorities are questionable, it's yours."
Soobin grins, all teeth and dimples and pure evil innocence. "Contour is gender-neutral. And I'm good at it because I care about art. Unlike your taste in men, which is apparently performance art in tragedy."
She bursts out laughing, head thrown back, the sound loud and unfiltered in the quiet room. "You're such an asshole."
"Love you too," he says, soft and quick, like it's nothing. Like he says it every day. Which he kind of does.
Her laughter fades into a grin she can't quite wipe off. She nudges his knee with her foot again, lingering this time. "You're lucky you're hot. And gay. Otherwise I'd have to hate you for being this mean."
He just smiles wider, eyes crinkling until they're almost gone. "Lucky me."
The candle pops once, throwing a fresh wave of vanilla. The lo-fi track loops back to the beginning, bass still napping. His pinky is still brushing hers on the cushion.
—------------------------------------------------------
Soobin has always been tactile in the most innocent way: fixing her hair when a strand falls in her face during lectures, tucking her scarf tighter in winter, letting her nap with her head on his shoulder during movie marathons without ever making it weird. No leering. No lingering too long. Just… care. The kind that feels like home because it never asks for anything back.
That’s the thing about him. He’s never once made her feel like a conquest or a prize or even a maybe. He’s just there. Steady. Warm. Listening to her rant about shitty dates, offering ice cream and brutally honest commentary, then braiding her hair while she cries about the same shitty date ghosting her. He’s seen her at her messiest—hungover, puffy-eyed, mascara-streaked, ranting about how all men are trash—and never once flinched or judged or tried to fix it by hitting on her.
And that’s why the gay assumption fits so perfectly in her head. It explains everything without any scary edges. He can compliment her ass in leggings (“objectively phenomenal, congrats”) and then immediately pivot to ranking male swimmers’ shoulders like it’s a TED Talk. He can hold her hand in crowded places so she doesn’t get lost and never once lets his thumb wander. He can whisper filthy jokes in her ear during group hangouts and laugh when she swats him, because it’s all playful.
If he were straight, she thinks, this would be dangerous. The touches would mean something. The smiles would carry subtext. The way he remembers her coffee order, her cycle (because he tracks it better than she does, the freak), her favorite period snacks would feel like moves in a long game. But he’s not straight. So it’s just friendship on steroids. Extra affection. Extra everything. No threat to the perfect little bubble they’ve built.
She likes the bubble. It’s cozy. It’s reliable. It lets her be vulnerable without fear of rejection or awkwardness or—worst of all—losing him. If he ever looked at her like that, really looked, the whole thing might crack. And she can’t imagine a world where Soobin isn’t her constant. Where she doesn’t have someone who shows up at 2 a.m. with convenience-store ramyeon because she texted “life sucks” at 1:57. Where she doesn’t have the one person who can make her laugh until her stomach hurts even when she’s convinced the world is ending.
So she keeps the label in place like a safety pin. Gay. Safe. Mine (but not like that). It lets her lean into every hug, every casual touch, every late-night confession without second-guessing. It lets her steal his hoodies and sleep in his bed during thunderstorms and cry on his chest without wondering if he’s counting the seconds until he can kiss her.
It’s perfect cus It’s easy.
The candle flickers again, vanilla thickening the air. His pinky stays exactly where it is, brushing hers in the smallest, most innocent rhythm.
She exhales, slow and smug in her own certainty.
Thank god he’s gay, she thinks, the phrase landing like a favorite blanket. Otherwise I’d be so fucked.
She shifts her weight, pretending it's just to get more comfortable, but really it's to press her ankle a fraction harder against his side. The movement is small, almost nothing, but his hand reacts instantly: fingers curl a little tighter around her ankle bone, not possessive, just enough to say he noticed and isn't letting go. His thumb resumes that slow, deliberate circle over the knob of bone, pressure so light it's criminal how much it registers. Heat spreads up her calf in lazy waves, the kind that feels accidental until you realize it's been building for minutes.
Soobin doesn't look down at where they're connected. His eyes stay on her face, soft and amused, like he's cataloging every micro-expression she makes. He tilts forward another inch, elbow still on his knee, chin in hand, closing the space between their faces without ever making it feel deliberate.
"Speaking of terrible taste," he says, voice dropping into that velvet register he uses when he's about to say something devastatingly honest, "you still have that group chat open with the girls? The one where they keep trying to set you up with their brother's friend who 'looks like a taller Soobin but straight'?"
She freezes for half a heartbeat, then bursts into laughter that comes out too loud in the quiet room. "They said taller. Taller. As if height is the only upgrade needed."
He raises both brows now, mock-offended, mouth twitching. "Excuse me. I'm already premium edition. Adding height would just make me unfair to the rest of the male population."
"Premium edition," she echoes, snickering. "You're a walking limited-edition collectible with emotional support boyfriend DLC unlocked. No wonder they keep trying to straight-wash you."
His laugh is low, chest-rumbling, and the vibration travels straight through her legs where they touch him. He shifts his grip on her ankle—slides his palm up to cup the back of her calf now, fingers splaying wide enough to cover most of the muscle there. The move is casual, like he's just adjusting for comfort, but the warmth of his whole hand seeps through her skin and settles somewhere low in her stomach.
"Emotional support boyfriend DLC," he repeats, tasting the words like fine wine. "Accurate.It comes with unlimited hugs, savage roasts, and emergency midnight delivery. Five-star rating. No returns."
She snorts again, but the sound catches when his thumb drags one long, slow line up the inside of her calf—barely there, barely intentional, yet it leaves a trail of goosebumps she can't hide. Her free foot flexes against his hip in reflex, toes curling into the fabric.
"You're ridiculous," she mutters, but her voice comes out breathier than she planned.
"And you're still using me as a human heater." He doesn't move his hand away. If anything, his fingers flex once, gently squeezing the muscle before relaxing again. "Admit it. You'd freeze without me."
She rolls her eyes, but the gesture feels weak now, performative. "I'd survive. Probably."
"Liar." His smile turns softer, almost tender, eyes crinkling at the corners. "You'd miss the premium-edition cuddles the most."
The candle flame dances higher for a second, throwing vanilla-scented warmth across both their faces. His hand stays exactly where it is—warm, steady, claiming space on her leg like it's always belonged there.
The silence finally cracks when Soobin exhales again, longer this time, the sound almost a sigh but too content to qualify. His hand slides off her calf in one slow, reluctant motion, fingers trailing down the back of her ankle before letting go completely. The absence of warmth hits sharper than it should, a sudden cool spot on her skin that makes her want to chase it back. She doesn't. Instead she curls her toes once against his hip, testing the boundary without crossing it, then pulls both legs in toward her chest. The movement is casual, folded knees hugging the pillow now, but it feels like retreat even though she hasn't moved far.
Soobin leans back fully against the couch again, stretching his arms overhead until his spine pops softly. The motion lifts the hem of his shirt just enough to show a thin strip of skin above his waistband—flat stomach, faint line of muscle that disappears under fabric. He doesn't fix the shirt right away. Lets it ride there for a beat while he rolls his shoulders, then tugs it down with lazy fingers.
"Beomgyu's gonna be home any minute with that party energy," he says, voice back to its normal gentle drawl. "You still want strawberry soju or should I text him to grab something else?"
She hugs her knees tighter, chin resting on top. "Strawberry. Definitely. And tell him if he brings that cheap beer again I'm pouring it on his head."
Soobin chuckles, low and easy, already reaching for his phone. His fingers fly across the screen in quick taps, message sent before she finishes the sentence. He sets the phone back down between them, screen dark now, and turns his head to look at her fully. The light has gone fully amber, painting half his face in warm shadow, making his eyes look deeper, almost liquid.
"You know," he says quietly, "you could just stay here tonight. Crash on the couch. Or my bed. Beomgyu's party usually ends with him passed out on the floor anyway."
She considers it. The idea settles warm in her chest: his room, his sheets that always smell like him, the way he never hogs blankets even though he's giant. No walk back to her place in the dark. No dealing with Lia's questions about why she's smiling like an idiot. Just easy. Familiar.
"Yeah," she says after a second, voice softer than the words deserve. "Maybe I will."
He nods once, small satisfied movement, like something clicked into place. "Good. I'll grab extra pillows."
She watches him stand—tall frame unfolding gracefully—and feels that same smug certainty wrap around her again. This is them. This is safe. This is why he's the only one she never has to question.
He glances back once from the hallway, dimples faint in the low light. "Don't move. I'll be right back."
She doesn't. Just sits there hugging her knees, ring still spinning slowly on her thumb, thinking how lucky she is to have a best friend like this.
How perfectly, tragically lucky.
The stairwell echoes with Beomgyu’s arrival before the door even opens: keys jangling like loose change in a pocket, footsteps skipping every other step, already laughing at some joke he’s telling himself. The sound bounces off the concrete walls and spills into the apartment the second he kicks the door wide. A gust of cold evening air rushes in behind him, carrying the faint metallic bite of campus sidewalks and the greasy promise of whatever takeout bag he’s swinging.
Soobin is already up, moving toward the kitchen island with that long-legged stride that makes everything look effortless. He flips on the overhead light—soft warm white, not the harsh fluorescents most places have—and the room brightens just enough to make the shadows retreat. The vanilla candle has finally given up; only a thin trail of smoke curls from the drowned wick, scent fading fast into the background. The lo-fi playlist ends mid-note when Soobin taps his phone to silence it, leaving the space suddenly quiet except for Beomgyu’s entrance.
Beomgyu bursts through, cheeks pink from the run up the stairs, grin splitting his face wide enough to show every tooth. He’s wearing the same oversized denim jacket he’s had since freshman year, sleeves rolled to his elbows, hair a chaotic mess from the wind. In one hand: a plastic bag bulging with bottles that clink together. In the other: his phone, already recording a boomerang of himself kicking the door shut behind him.
“Party people!” he yells, voice cracking on the last syllable for dramatic effect. “Your host with the most has arrived. And he brought reinforcements.”
He swings the bag onto the counter with a theatrical thud. Glass rattles. Soobin catches a rolling bottle of soju before it can tip off the edge, sets it upright without comment, then leans both hands on the marble, shoulders relaxed, watching Beomgyu like a parent watching a toddler with too much sugar.
She stays curled on the couch, knees still hugged to her chest, but she can’t help the grin that tugs at her mouth. Beomgyu’s chaos is predictable in the best way—like a storm you see coming from miles away and still run out to dance in.
Beomgyu finally notices her. His eyes light up even brighter. “There she is! My favorite third wheel. You staying? Because I need someone to film me doing the worm later when I’m three shots deep.”
She snorts, unfolding her legs and stretching them out along the cushion again. “Only if you promise not to cry when you inevitably lose at beer pong. Again.”
Beomgyu clutches his chest like she stabbed him. “Low blow. That was one time. One. And it was because Yeonjun cheated with the elbow rule.”
Soobin lets out a quiet huff of laughter, already pulling glasses from the cabinet. “Yeonjun always cheats. You just keep falling for it.”
Beomgyu points an accusing finger at him. “Traitor. You’re supposed to be on my side.”
Soobin shrugs one shoulder, dimples flickering. “I’m on the side of truth. And truth says you suck at beer pong.”
She laughs again, louder this time, the sound bouncing off the high ceiling. The room feels bigger suddenly, fuller, the quiet intimacy from earlier stretching thin but not snapping. Beomgyu starts unpacking bottles—strawberry soju, regular, a couple of cheap beers, some random flavored vodka he probably grabbed because the label was shiny.
Soobin glances over his shoulder at her, eyes soft in the new light. “Still crashing here?”
She nods without hesitation. “Yeah. Couch is calling my name.”
Beomgyu overhears and spins around, arms wide. “Couch? No way. You get the guest spot in Soobin’s room. He’s got the good pillows. I know because I steal them sometimes.”
Soobin rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny it. Just keeps lining up shot glasses in a neat row.
The first guests will arrive soon. Music will get loud. People will spill drinks and secrets and bad dance moves. But right now, in this brief pocket before the storm hits full force, she feels it again—that smug, cozy certainty.
This is her safe place. Her people. Her ridiculous, perfect best friend who never makes anything complicated.
She watches Soobin pour the first shot of strawberry soju, the liquid catching pink in the light, and thinks how lucky she is that nothing ever has to change.
The buzzer rings again, sharper this time, impatient. Beomgyu vaults over the back of the couch in one fluid motion—long limbs flailing just enough to look chaotic on purpose—and slams the intercom button with his palm.
“Yo, come up! The door's open!” he yells into the speaker, voice echoing back tinny and distorted.
Soobin doesn’t react to the acrobatics. He’s already lining up more shot glasses on the island, neat little soldiers in a row, strawberry soju bottle uncapped and waiting. The pink liquid catches the overhead light and glows like cheap candy. He pours three shots without measuring, liquid sloshing just shy of the rim, then slides one toward her spot on the couch with a gentle push across the marble.
She uncurls fully now, feet hitting the rug, and pads over barefoot. The floor is cool under her soles, a sharp contrast to the lingering warmth from where his hand had been. She picks up the shot, sniffs it once—sweet, artificial strawberry that promises a headache by morning—and raises it in mock toast.
“To bad decisions and worse hangovers,” she says.
Beomgyu spins back around, grabs his own glass, and clinks it against hers so hard a drop spills over the edge. “To me getting laid tonight. And you two finally admitting you’re basically married.”
Soobin chokes on air mid-pour. A tiny splash hits the counter. He wipes it up with the sleeve of his hoodie—her hoodie, technically, but who’s counting—and shoots Beomgyu a look that’s equal parts fond and murderous.
“Keep dreaming, Gyu.”
The door bangs open before anyone can reply. First in is Yeonjun, hair freshly dyed a violent cherry red that looks illegal under the apartment lights, followed by two girls she vaguely recognizes from last semester’s psych elective—both giggling, arms linked, already halfway to tipsy from whatever pregame happened elsewhere. Behind them trails a guy with a backpack full of speakers, wires dangling like tentacles, and then three more randoms she’s never seen but who act like they live here.
The room fills fast. Voices overlap. Someone cranks the Bluetooth speaker on the coffee table—bass-heavy hip-hop that rattles the empty bottles. Yeonjun beelines for the soju, pours himself a double, then throws an arm around Soobin’s shoulders like they’re long-lost brothers.
“Binnie! My man! You look disgustingly sober. Fix that.”
Soobin shrugs the arm off with zero effort, but there’s a small smile tugging at his mouth. “Someone has to make sure you don’t break your face on the coffee table again.”
Yeonjun gasps, hand to chest. “That was one time. And I was pushed.”
The girls swarm the couch, claiming spots on either side of her. One—dark hair, silver nose ring—leans in close, eyes sparkling.
“You’re Soobin’s friend, right? The one he talks about all the time?”
She blinks. “He talks about me?”
The other girl laughs. “Constantly. ‘She hates olives,’ ‘she likes her coffee iced even in winter,’ ‘don’t play that song, it makes her sad.’ It 's cute.”
She feels heat crawl up her neck. Glances toward the kitchen. Soobin is pouring another round, head bent, but she catches the quick flick of his eyes her way—brief, almost shy—before he looks back down.
Beomgyu appears at her elbow, shot in hand, grinning wickedly.
“See? Married. I told you.”
She elbows him in the ribs. Hard.
The music gets louder. Bodies start moving—someone drags the rug back to make a makeshift dance floor. Laughter spikes over the beat. The air thickens with perfume, spilled soju, and the faint metallic tang of excitement.
Soobin weaves through the growing crowd, two fresh shots in hand. He stops in front of her, offers one without a word. His fingers brush hers when she takes it—deliberate? Accidental? Doesn’t matter. The touch is brief, warm, gone.
He leans down just enough so his voice reaches her ear over the noise.
“Stay close. Things might get messy fast.”
She nods, shot burning sweet down her throat.
The music jumps an octave when someone finally connects Yeonjun’s phone to the bigger speaker. Bass drops hard enough to rattle the shot glasses on the island. Bodies pack tighter—someone’s elbow bumps her shoulder, a stranger’s laugh explodes too close to her ear. Beomgyu is already in full chaos mode, dragging the coffee table to the side with dramatic grunts, clearing a wobbly circle of floor space that’s now officially the “dance floor.”
He spins toward her, eyes bright and predatory, holding two red plastic cups like trophies. Beer sloshes inside, foam clinging to the rims.
“Beer pong!” he announces like it’s a royal decree. “You versus me. The loser has to do the worm in front of everyone. Right now. No excuses.”
She raises both brows, arms crossing over her chest. “You’re already losing. You always lose.”
Beomgyu gasps, clutching his heart with one hand while thrusting a cup at her with the other. “Slander. Pure slander. I’m undefeated in spirit.”
Soobin appears at her side like he materialized from the crowd, tall enough to cut through the press of bodies without effort. He plucks the cup from Beomgyu’s fingers before she can take it, sniffs once, then hands it back with a flat look.
“This is warm and half foam. Try again.”
Beomgyu whines but obeys, darting back to the kitchen island to pour fresh ones from the cold six-pack someone brought. Soobin stays planted next to her, shoulder brushing hers every time someone squeezes past. He doesn’t move away. Doesn’t need to. The crowd parts around him like water around a rock.
Yeonjun materializes on her other side, red hair glowing under the string lights Beomgyu strung up earlier. He slings an arm around her shoulders, casual and heavy.
“Team up with Binnie. Make it a couples pong. It’ll be adorable. Everyone will cry.”
She elbows him in the ribs. “We’re not a couple.”
Yeonjun grins, teeth flashing. “Sure. That’s why he’s literally your shadow tonight. Look at him. Guard dog mode activated.”
Soobin doesn’t deny it. Just reaches past her to snag a ping-pong ball from the table Beomgyu is now setting up—two red cups at each end, triangle formation, water inside because no one trusts the beer not to spill everywhere. He bounces the ball once on the table, catches it clean, then holds it out to her palm-up.
“Your shot first,” he says, voice low enough that only she hears it over the music. “Sink it and I’ll buy you actual good soju next week.”
She takes the ball, fingers brushing his for a split second longer than necessary. The plastic is cool and slightly damp. She lines up, tongue poking between her teeth in concentration, and flicks her wrist.
The ball arcs perfectly—plop—straight into Beomgyu’s front cup.
The room erupts. Beomgyu shrieks like he’s been shot, clutching the cup to his chest.
“Cheating! She cheated! Soobin distracted me with his pretty face!”
Soobin snorts, shoulders shaking once. “That’s your excuse? My face?”
Beomgyu downs the cup in one dramatic gulp, slams it down, then points at Soobin. “Your turn, traitor. Sink it or I’m making you sing karaoke.”
Soobin takes the next ball, bounces it once, twice, eyes flicking to her for half a heartbeat before he throws. Clean arc. Plop. Another cup is gone.
Beomgyu throws his head back and howls. “This is rigged! Rigged!”
The crowd chants now—pong, pong, pong—phones out, recording. She laughs so hard her stomach hurts, leaning sideways into Soobin’s side without thinking. His arm comes around her shoulders automatically, steadying her, thumb resting light against her upper arm.
Beomgyu misses his next shot spectacularly—ball ricocheting off the rim and flying into someone’s hair. The room loses it.
Soobin leans down, mouth close to her ear again. “Told you. Messy fast.”
She tilts her head back to meet his eyes. “You love it.”
His dimples flash. “Only when you’re winning.”
The game keeps going. Cups empty. Cheers rise. Beer spills. Someone starts a conga line that immediately collapses into a pile of limbs.
And through it all, Soobin stays right there—arm loose around her, body angled to shield her from the worst of the crowd, quiet amusement in every glance he sends her way.
The beer pong game collapses into chaos exactly as predicted. Beomgyu misses his redemption shot so badly the ball bounces off the ceiling fan, ricochets into a potted plant, and knocks over a half-full cup of beer that splashes across Yeonjun’s white sneakers. Yeonjun shrieks like he’s been set on fire, hopping on one foot while waving his arms. “My limited edition! You monster!”
Beomgyu cackles so hard he has to brace himself on the table. “Collateral damage! War is hell!”
She watches the whole disaster from the edge of the makeshift court, Soobin’s arm still loosely draped around her shoulders like a human seatbelt. The crowd has doubled in the last twenty minutes—more bodies, more noise, more questionable decisions stacking up like Jenga blocks. The string lights flicker every time someone bumps the speaker, casting erratic pink and blue shadows across sweaty faces and red plastic cups.
Across the room, one of the psych girls has cornered the backpack-speaker guy against the wall. She’s got her hands in his hair, mouth on his neck, and he looks equal parts thrilled and terrified. His eyes dart around like he’s waiting for someone to yell “cut.” She whispers something in his ear; he nods frantically, then they disappear down the hallway toward Beomgyu’s room. The door clicks shut. Thirty seconds later, muffled giggling turns into unmistakable rhythmic thumping against the wall.
Soobin tilts his head toward the sound, eyebrow quirking. “That’s gonna be awkward in the morning when Beomgyu realizes his bed is occupied.”
She snorts into her cup. “He’ll just sleep on the floor and call it ‘immersive camping.’”
Another couple—random tall guy with a backwards cap and one of Yeonjun’s friends—has claimed the armchair in the corner. She’s straddling his lap, grinding slow and shameless while he gropes under her shirt like they’re auditioning for softcore. Their makeout is so loud it competes with the bass drop. Sloppy, wet sounds. Occasional moan that makes half the room turn and cheer like it’s a sports highlight.
Beomgyu stumbles over, three shots deep and swaying, pointing at them with exaggerated horror. “Public indecency! I’m calling the morality police! Wait, no, I’m the morality police. Get a room!”
The girl flips him off without breaking rhythm. The guy just grins, dazed and happy.
Soobin leans down, voice low and amused against her ear. “They’re putting on a better show than the actual party.”
She laughs, shoulder bumping his chest. “At least they’re committed. Look at Mr. Backwards Cap—he’s treating it like a religious experience.”
Another couple forms near the kitchen island: two guys from the econ club, hands everywhere, one pinning the other against the fridge while they kiss like the world ends in five minutes. Beer cans clatter to the floor. Someone yells “get it!” and starts filming on their phone.
She shakes her head, grinning. “This place is turning into a low-budget porno set. Where’s the director yelling ‘more passion’?”
Soobin’s fingers flex once on her shoulder, thumb brushing the nape of her neck in a quick, absent caress. “Give it ten minutes. Someone’s gonna start a threesome in the bathroom.”
Beomgyu overhears, spins toward them with wild eyes. “Don’t jinx it! Last time we had to replace the shower curtain. Again.”
She bursts out laughing so hard she has to grab Soobin’s hoodie to stay upright. He steadies her automatically, arm tightening just enough to keep her from tipping.
The room spins with drunk energy—bodies grinding, mouths crashing, hands wandering, everyone too far gone to care who’s watching. Phones out everywhere, capturing the madness for tomorrow’s regret stories. Someone starts a chant of “shots shots shots” that turns into off-key singing. Another couple disappears into the coat closet. Door slams. Giggling. Thudding.
Soobin watches it all with that same calm, half-smile, like he’s observing animals at the zoo. His hand stays on her shoulder, warm and steady, the only point of quiet in the storm.
She glances up at him, still chuckling. “How are you not drunk yet?”
He shrugs, eyes crinkling. “Someone has to drive the getaway car when this implodes.”
She rolls her eyes but leans into his side anyway.
The couch has become their unofficial commentary booth. She’s tucked into the corner now, knees drawn up, back against the armrest, one foot propped on Soobin’s thigh like it’s a footstool he volunteered for. He doesn’t complain. Just lets his hand rest loose on her ankle again, thumb occasionally flicking the hem of her legging like he’s keeping score in a game only he understands. The party has hit peak disaster: bass thumping so hard the empty cups on the table vibrate, bodies grinding in every corner, someone’s already crying in the bathroom over a text from an ex.
Soobin nods toward the armchair couple—the girl still riding backwards-cap guy like he’s a mechanical bull at a county fair. She’s got her head thrown back, mouth open in what looks like a very loud moan, while he grips her hips like they’re the last lifeboat on the Titanic.
“Look at that technique,” Soobin deadpans, voice low enough for only her to hear. “He’s holding on like she’s about to launch into orbit. Solid ten for effort, three for rhythm.”
She chokes on her laugh, nearly spilling her drink. “She’s doing all the work. He’s just… there. Like a very enthusiastic chair.”
“Exactly. Human furniture. Five stars on Yelp for comfort, zero for cardio.”
They both watch as the girl suddenly grabs his face and kisses him so aggressively their teeth probably clack. Tongues visible from across the room. She pulls back, says something, then dives back in.
Soobin tilts his head. “That kiss looks like they’re trying to eat each other’s souls. Is that passion or are they just really hungry?”
She snorts so hard beer bubbles up her nose. “Passion. Definitely passion. The kind that ends with a trip to urgent care for a dislocated jaw.”
Across the room, the econ-club guys have escalated: one has the other pressed flat against the fridge, hands under shirts, hips rolling in a way that’s more dry-hump than dance. The kiss breaks for a second—both panting—then the taller one whispers something filthy enough that the shorter one’s eyes roll back.
Soobin winces theatrically. “Oof. That dirty talk was so loud I heard the word ‘daddy’ from here and I’m not even wearing headphones.”
She covers her mouth, shoulders shaking. “He said it like he’s ordering at a drive-thru. ‘Yeah, can I get one daddy with extra cheese?’”
Soobin’s laugh is quiet but deep, vibrating through his chest into her side where she’s leaning now. “And the response. ‘Coming right up.’ Tragic.”
Beomgyu stumbles past, three cups in hand, spots them, and points accusingly. “You two are gossiping like old ladies! Join the degeneracy!”
Soobin lifts his free hand in a lazy salute. “We’re providing color commentary. Someone has to narrate the trainwreck.”
Beomgyu flips them off, then immediately gets pulled into a sloppy group hug by Yeonjun and two randoms, all three trying to grind at once and mostly just falling over.
She leans her head on Soobin’s shoulder, still giggling. “This is better than reality TV. We should start a podcast. ‘Live from Soobin’s Couch: Watching Drunk People Ruin Their Lives.’”
He turns his face toward her hair, voice dropping softer, amused. “You’d be the mean one. I’d be the nice one who says ‘they’re just expressing themselves.’”
She lifts her head, eyes sparkling. “You’d defend their terrible decisions?”
“Only if they pay for therapy later.” His thumb strokes once along her ankle, slow and absent. “But yeah. I’d say they look very… passionate.”
She snorts again. “Passionate. Sure. That’s one word for it.”
The armchair couple finally tips over sideways—crash—onto the floor in a tangle of limbs and laughter. No one stops making out. Just keeps going horizontally now.
Soobin sighs, mock-sad. “And scene. Tragic loss of verticality.”
She buries her face in his shoulder to muffle the laugh. His arm slides around her back, hand settling warm at her waist, holding her steady while the room spins around them.
The commentary booth turns sloppy around shot number four. Strawberry soju hits different when you chase it with warm beer—sweet first, then bitter, then nothing but warm fuzz and zero filter. She’s giggling into Soobin’s shoulder every few seconds now, body loose, one leg still draped over his lap like it grew there. He’s matching her pace, cheeks flushed a soft pink that makes his dimples look dangerous. The room is a full circus: someone’s doing body shots off Yeonjun’s stomach on the kitchen floor, Beomgyu is attempting to twerk on the coffee table and mostly just falling off, the armchair couple has relocated to the floor and is now aggressively dry-humping while fully clothed like horny teenagers who forgot how zippers work.
A long beat of quiet falls between them—not awkward, just drunk and syrupy. The bass thumps on, but it feels distant, muffled by the alcohol blanket wrapped around their heads. Soobin’s hand has migrated from her ankle to the inside of her knee, fingers splayed wide, thumb resting in the soft dip behind her kneecap. No movement. Just weight. Warm. Heavy in the best way. She doesn’t move it. Doesn’t want to.
Across the room, backwards-cap guy finally gets his shirt off. Throws it like a victory flag. The girl cheers, then immediately face-plants into his chest, laughing so hard she snorts. They roll once, twice—knock over a lamp. It crashes without breaking. No one cares.
Soobin watches for three full seconds, head tilted, then turns back to her with the slowest, most judgmental blink she’s ever seen.
“That,” he says, voice thick and slurred just enough to sound luxurious, “is what happens when you confuse stamina with choreography.”
She wheezes, forehead dropping to his collarbone. “He thinks he’s in a music video. She thinks she’s winning an award for best supporting actress for bad decisions.”
He snorts, breath warm against her temple. “They’re both losing. Spectacularly.”
Another pause. The music dips into a slower track—some R&B remix that makes half the room grind harder. The econ guys are now making out so intensely one of them has the other’s leg hooked over his hip against the fridge door. The fridge light flickers every time it opens and closes from the pressure.
Soobin exhales through his nose, long and dramatic. “I give that kiss a six. Solid technique, but zero finesse. It’s like watching two vacuum cleaners fight over dust.”
She laughs so hard tears prick her eyes, hand slapping his chest once. “Vacuum cleaners. You’re evil.”
“Observant,” he corrects, fingers flexing once against her knee. The touch sends a lazy spark up her thigh that she blames entirely on the soju.
The silence stretches again—five seconds, six, seven—filled only by distant moans, shattering glass somewhere in the kitchen, Beomgyu yelling “body shot round two!” like a war cry. Soobin’s thumb starts the tiniest circle behind her knee. Barely there. Drunk enough to pretend it’s accidental.
She lifts her head just enough to meet his eyes. They’re glassy, dark, crinkled at the corners with drunken amusement.
“You’re terrible at commentary,” she mumbles, words running together. “But you’re right. Everyone here is a disaster.”
He smiles slowly, lazy and devastating. “Except us.”
She snorts. “We’re sitting on a couch judging people while drunk. We’re the kings of disaster.”
“Queens of irony,” he counters, leaning in until their foreheads almost touch. “Best seat in the house.”
Beomgyu, now shirtless and glistening like a budget action hero, climbs onto the coffee table again, holding an empty soju bottle like a microphone.
“New game!” he bellows, voice cracking on the high note. “Drink roulette! Spin the bottle, whoever it lands on has to take a shot and do whatever the spinner dares. No backsies. No mercy. Let’s ruin lives!”
Cheers erupt. Phones flash. The crowd forms a sloppy circle around the table. She’s still tucked against Soobin, head fuzzy and warm, cheeks hot from the alcohol and the laughter that won’t stop bubbling up. His hand has slid higher on her thigh now—casual, drunk, thumb resting just under the hem of her legging like it wandered there by mistake and decided to stay.
The bottle spins again, slower this time, the soju making everything feel like slow-motion film. Beomgyu’s voice cracks on the countdown—“Three! Two! One!”—and it lands with a decisive clink, pointing straight at her.
The circle erupts. Phones flash. Beomgyu pumps both fists like he just won the lottery. “Queen of the night! Dare time!”
She’s too drunk to protest properly. The room tilts when she tries to sit up straighter, so she just laughs and flops back against the couch arm, hoodie riding up to expose a strip of stomach. The cool air hits skin and she shivers once, giggling at nothing.
Soobin’s hand is still on her waist from earlier, thumb brushing the edge of exposed skin like it’s no big deal. He doesn’t move it. Just watches with that glassy, amused stare.
Beomgyu pours a fresh shot of strawberry soju, eyes wicked. “Yeonjun! Dare: drink it off her tummy. No hands. Go full animal.”
Yeonjun whoops, already crawling across the table on his knees, red hair flopping into his eyes. The crowd chants his name like it’s a gladiator arena. He stops in front of her, grinning feral, cheeks flushed deep pink from the alcohol.
“Ready?” he asks, voice slurred and playful.
She snorts, lifting the hem of the hoodie higher with one hand. “Do your worst, pretty boy.”
Yeonjun doesn’t hesitate. He lowers his head, lips brushing her stomach first—teasing, light—then pours the shot straight from the bottle onto her skin. Cold liquid pools in the dip of her navel, sweet and sticky. The crowd loses it—whistles, cheers, someone yells “slurp!”
He dives in. Tongue flat, lapping slow at first, then bolder, chasing every drop. His hair tickles her ribs. She squeals, half-laughing, half-gasping, fingers tangling in his red strands without thinking. The sensation is ridiculous—cold soju, warm tongue, alcohol buzzing in her veins—and she can’t stop giggling even as goosebumps race across her skin.
Yeonjun finishes with a dramatic lick up her midline, then lifts his head, lips shiny, eyes dark and drunk. “Best shot I’ve ever had.”
The room roars.
Before she can wipe the sticky residue or even sit up properly, Yeonjun surges forward, cups her face with both hands—gentle but sure—and kisses her.
It’s bold. Messy. Full soju-sweet and laughter. His tongue slips in playful, teasing hers for a second before pulling back with a loud smack. He winks, collapsing sideways onto the table in fake exhaustion, one arm flung over his eyes.
“Ten out of ten,” he declares to the ceiling. “She’s a pro.”
The circle loses it. Beomgyu high-fives her so hard her arm hurts. Phones capture every second.
She falls back against Soobin, laughing so hard tears streak her cheeks. His arm wraps fully around her waist now, pulling her into his side like gravity. His breath is warm against her ear when he murmurs, “Bold move.”
She turns her face up, noses almost touching, eyes glassy and bright. “Just for fun. No big deal.”
He smiles slow, dimples deep, eyes dark and unreadable in the flashing lights. “No big deal.”
His hand stays on her waist—fingers splayed, possessive in a way that feels accidental until it doesn’t. The bottle spins again. Someone else screams. The party keeps raging.
But she stays right there, pressed against him, the kiss already forgotten in the haze.
The bottle spins again. The party keeps raging.
But she stays right there, pressed against him, the taste of strawberry soju and Yeonjun’s kiss already fading into background noise.
Soobin’s cheeks are flushed a deep rose, eyes glassy and half-lidded, but he still looks annoyingly composed—hair a little messy from people ruffling it, lips shiny from the last shot he took straight from the bottle. The couch cushion has sunk under their combined weight; every time someone walks past, the whole thing rocks like a boat.
She turns her head toward him, cheek smushed against his shoulder, breath warm against his neck. The alcohol has stripped away every filter she ever had.
“You know,” she slurs, poking his chest with one finger, “if you weren’t so stupidly tall, you’d be the perfect height for me to climb like a tree.”
Soobin huffs a laugh that rumbles through his chest into hers. His thumb drags one slow line along the inside of her thigh—barely an inch, but enough to make her breath hitch.
“Climb me?” he echoes, voice low and rough from the drinks. “Bold. You’d need a ladder for the good parts.”
She snickers, head lolling back so she can look up at him through her lashes. “Please. I’d just use your abs as steps. They’re basically a staircase anyway.”
He grins slowly, dimples carving deep. His free hand comes up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, fingers lingering at her jaw. “Careful. Keep talking like that and I might let you try. See how far you get before you slip.”
The words land drunk and playful, but the way his eyes darken a fraction makes her stomach flip. She blames the soju. Totally the soju.
She shifts closer, thigh sliding higher across his lap until she’s practically straddling one of his legs. The movement is clumsy, tipsy, but deliberate enough that his hand tightens on her thigh to steady her.
“Slipping’s half the fun,” she murmurs, nose brushing his cheek. “You’d catch me. Right, big guy?”
Soobin’s laugh is quieter this time, breath fanning hot across her lips. “Always catch you. But if you keep grinding on my thigh like that, I might start charging admission.”
She gasps dramatically, hand flying to her chest. “Charging? After all we’ve been through? I thought we were ride-or-die.”
His fingers flex against her leg, pulling her a fraction closer. “Ride-or-die it is. Emphasis on ride.”
The joke hangs there—dirty, accidental, perfect. Her laugh bubbles up again, but it comes out breathier than before. The room keeps spinning around them—people making out, bottles clinking, Beomgyu yelling something incoherent—but right here, on this sagging couch, the air between them feels suddenly thicker, hotter, heavier.
The fake-flirt doesn’t stay fake for long. It mutates fast, drunk and reckless, like everything else in the room tonight.
She shifts again in his lap—deliberate this time—grinding down once, slow and teasing, just enough to feel how hard he is under the thin layer of sweatpants. His grip on her waist tightens instantly, fingers digging in like he’s trying not to flip her onto her back right there.
“You’re playing dirty,” he mutters, voice gravel-rough against her ear.
She grins, tipsy and bold, lips brushing his jaw. “Says the guy who’s been hard since I let Yeonjun lick soju off my stomach. Hypocrite.”
Soobin laughs low, the sound vibrating straight through her core. His hand slides up her back under the hoodie, palm flat and hot between her shoulder blades, pressing her closer until her breasts flatten against his chest.
“Guilty,” he breathes. “But you liked it. I felt you clench when his tongue hit your skin.”
She gasps, half-laugh, half-moan, and rocks her hips once more—subtle, but unmistakable. “Shut up. That was the cold soju. Not him.”
“Liar.” His lips graze her earlobe. “You’re soaked right now. I can feel it through my pants.”
Her breath hitches. She tries to laugh it off, but it comes out shaky. “You wish.”
“I know.” He nips her earlobe lightly—teeth just sharp enough to sting. “Bet if I slipped my hand down there I’d find you dripping. All from me talking shit in your ear.”
She shivers hard, thighs squeezing his hips. “Keep dreaming, Binnie.”
The music has devolved into a pounding bass line that vibrates through the floorboards and straight up their spines. Beomgyu is somewhere in the kitchen screaming “body shot round three!” while Yeonjun tries to pour vodka into someone’s mouth and mostly pours it on the floor. Phones flash like strobe lights. Moans and laughter mix into white noise.
Soobin turns his face into her hair, nose brushing her temple, lips grazing the shell of her ear. His breath is hot, whiskey-sweet from the last shot he chased with beer. He speaks so low the words are more vibration than sound, meant for her alone.
He pulls back just enough to look at her—eyes dark, pupils blown, cheeks flushed deep. Then he leans in again, mouth to her ear, voice dropping to a filthy whisper that curls straight down her spine.
“I’m not dreaming. I’m imagining how you’d sound when I finally fuck you open—slow at first, just the tip, letting you whine and beg for more while I stretch you out inch by inch until you’re crying on my cock, clenching so tight I can’t pull out even if I wanted to. Then I’d flip you over, ass up, face down, and pound into you until you’re screaming my name and coming so hard you forget your own.”
The sentence lands like a slap of heat. Her whole body clenches—thighs, stomach, core—like someone flipped a switch. A rush of wet warmth pools between her legs so fast she has to press them together. Her nipples harden against the hoodie fabric instantly. She sucks in a sharp breath, the sound audible even over the music.
He doesn’t pull back. Just lets the words hang there, lips still brushing her earlobe, waiting.
She freezes for two full seconds. Then the flustered giggle bursts out—high, shaky, half-hysterical. She shoves at his chest weakly, face flaming, trying to play it off like it’s just another joke in their endless chain of filth.
“Oh my god,” she wheezes, voice cracking on the laugh. “Shut up. You can’t just say shit like that.”
Soobin pulls back just enough to meet her eyes. His pupils are blown wide, cheeks flushed darker now, but the grin is slow, wicked, unrepentant. He licks his bottom lip once—slow, deliberate—like he’s tasting the words he just fed her.
She fans her face with one hand, still giggling, but the sound is breathy, edged with something raw. Her free hand clutches the front of his shirt, knuckles white.
She swallows hard, voice cracking on the laugh. “Wow Soobin, if I didn’t know you I’d want to sit on it right now. The way you just talked was hot as fuck.”
The confession slips out raw, drunk, honest. She expects him to tease back. Joke. Break the tension.
He doesn’t.
His eyes lift to hers—something dark and hungry flickering there, something that wasn’t there five minutes ago. The playful glint is gone. Replaced by raw want. His hand on her waist slides lower, cupping her ass fully now, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise.
His voice comes out gravel-rough, barely louder than the bass.
“Who said anything about being gay tonight?”
The words hit like a second shot of soju—straight to the veins.
She stops breathing.
Half an hour passes like that: whispered filth traded back and forth, hips rocking subtly under the cover of the crowd, hands wandering but never crossing the final line. They watch the room—people grinding, making out, disappearing into bedrooms—but it’s background noise now. Their world has narrowed to mouths close, breaths shared, bodies pressed tight.
Every dirty promise he murmurs makes her wetter. Every teasing grind she gives makes him harder.
He realizes it then—really realizes it.
She’s turned on by him.
Not Yeonjun. Not the party. Him.
The shift in his eyes deepens—dark, possessive, triumphant.
The bass finally drops to a low throb as someone kills the playlist mid-song. Beomgyu is passed out face-down on the kitchen island, one arm dangling, drooling onto a stack of red cups. Yeonjun and the psych girls have vanished—probably tangled in his bed or someone else’s. The living room floor is a war zone: overturned bottles, sticky puddles of soju and beer, abandoned hoodies, a single high-heel lying like evidence at a crime scene. The string lights flicker weakly, pink and purple bleeding into dim amber from the single lamp still on. The air smells like spilled liquor, sweat, cheap perfume, and the faint metallic bite of exhaustion settling in.
She’s still in Soobin’s lap, legs straddling one of his thighs, hoodie rucked up to her ribs from all the shifting and grinding. His hands are under the fabric now—both of them—one splayed across her lower back, the other cupping her ass through the legging, fingers dug in just enough to keep her anchored. Her forehead rests against his temple, breaths coming short and hot against his cheek. The room is emptying fast—people stumbling out, laughing slurred goodbyes, doors slamming downstairs—but neither of them moves. The silence that follows the music is loud, intimate, heavy with everything they’ve been whispering for the last hour.
His heart hammers against her chest. Hers answers in frantic little skips. The alcohol is still buzzing hard, but the haze has sharpened into something clearer, hungrier.
She shifts once—slow roll of her hips down his thigh—and feels him twitch under her, thick and insistent through the sweatpants. A soft, involuntary whimper slips out before she can catch it.
Soobin exhales hard through his nose, lips brushing her cheek.
“Everyone’s leaving,” he murmurs, voice wrecked and low. “Beomgyu’s out cold. We’ve got the place to ourselves.”
She swallows, throat clicking. “Yeah.”
His hand on her ass squeezes once—firm, possessive. “You gonna keep teasing me, or are you finally gonna let me do what I’ve been promising all night?”
She laughs—shaky, breathy—but doesn’t pull away. “You talk like you’re gonna wreck me, Binnie.”
“I am.” His mouth finds her ear again, voice dropping to that filthy velvet register that’s been ruining her since the first whisper. “Gonna spread you out on this couch, peel those leggings off slow, lick you open until you’re dripping down my chin, then fuck you so deep you feel me in your throat. Gonna make you come on my cock until your legs don’t work, then flip you over and fill you up until it’s leaking out of you. You’ll be begging me to stop and begging me not to at the same time.”
Her whole body clenches—hard. A fresh gush of wetness soaks through her underwear and probably his pants too. She gasps, nails digging into his shoulders, hips grinding down instinctively.
“Fuck,” she breathes, voice trembling. “You can’t just… say that.”
He nips her earlobe. “Why not? You’re already shaking for it.”
She tries to laugh again, but it comes out as a moan. “If I didn’t know better… I’d think you actually want to ruin me.”
Soobin pulls back just enough to meet her eyes—dark, blown, no trace of joke left.
“I do.”
The words land heavy. Final.
She stares at him for one long, suspended second—party dying around them, Beomgyu snoring softly in the background, the room empty except for the two of them and the electric tension crackling between.
Then she snaps.
Her hands fist in his hair, yanking his mouth to hers.
The kiss is brutal—teeth clacking, tongues sliding messy and desperate, no preamble, no gentleness. She pours every filthy promise he made back into it, biting his bottom lip hard enough to taste copper, grinding down on his cock like she’s trying to break him.
She’s flat on her back now, legs hooked high around his waist, ankles locked at the small of his back. Soobin hovers above her, weight braced on one forearm beside her head, the other hand shoved under her hoodie, palm cupping her bare breast, thumb rolling slow, relentless circles over her nipple until it’s swollen and aching. His hips are already slotted tight between her thighs, cock thick and rigid through his sweatpants, grinding down in slow, deliberate rolls that drag the rough cotton over her soaked leggings, right against her clit.
She moans into his mouth—loud, broken—tongue sliding against his in wet, sloppy strokes. No finesse left. Just hunger. Teeth clack, lips bruise, spit strings between them when they separate for half a second to breathe. Her hands are everywhere: nails raking down his back under his shirt, leaving red trails; fingers twisting in his hair and yanking hard enough to make him groan; one palm shoving between them to cup his cock through the fabric, squeezing once, feeling him throb and leak against her palm.
“Fuck,” he growls against her lips, hips snapping forward harder. The friction is brutal—his length grinding right along her slit, the seam of her leggings catching on her swollen clit with every thrust. “You’re so fucking wet I can feel it soaking through.”
She whimpers, hips bucking up to meet him, chasing the pressure. “Then do something about it.”
He doesn’t answer with words. Just kisses her deeper—tongue fucking into her mouth in the same rhythm his hips are fucking against her core—while his free hand yanks her legging down just enough to bare her ass and the tops of her thighs. No panties underneath. Just slick, swollen folds rubbing raw against the damp cotton of his sweatpants.
She cries out when he grinds down again—bare clit dragging along his clothed shaft. The friction is filthy, perfect, overwhelming. Her nails dig into his ass, pulling him closer, harder, faster.
“More,” she gasps against his mouth. “Harder. Please.”
Soobin obeys. Hips pistoning now—desperate, erratic—cock sliding up and down her slit, head catching on her entrance through the fabric, teasing without pushing in. His mouth moves to her neck, sucking hard enough to leave marks, teeth scraping, tongue soothing the sting. One hand pinches her nipple, twists just shy of pain; the other grips her hip, holding her still so he can grind exactly where she needs it.
She’s trembling—whole body shaking—thighs quivering around his waist, core clenching on nothing, so close she can taste it.
The kiss doesn’t slow. It deepens into something feral, tongues sliding thick and wet, mouths open so wide it hurts the corners of her lips. She sucks his bottom lip between her teeth, bites down until he hisses into her mouth, the copper tang of blood mixing with strawberry soju and spit. Soobin growls—low, animal—hips slamming down harder, cock grinding brutally along her bare slit now that her leggings are shoved to mid-thigh. The rough cotton of his sweatpants drags over her swollen clit with every desperate thrust, fabric soaked dark and clinging to both of them.
Her hands claw under his shirt, nails raking bloody trails down his back. She feels the skin give, feels him shudder and fuck harder against her in response. One hand dives between them—fingers shoving into his waistband, wrapping around his leaking cock. He’s thick, hot, pulsing in her palm; the head is slick with precome, smearing sticky across her fingers as she strokes him rough and fast. He groans brokenly against her tongue, hips jerking into her fist.
“Fuck—tighten your hand,” he rasps, voice wrecked. “Squeeze me like you’re gonna milk every drop.”
She does. Grips him hard, thumb swiping over the slit, spreading the wetness while her other hand yanks his sweatpants lower. His cock springs free—heavy, flushed dark, veins standing out—slapping wet against her stomach before he notches the head right at her entrance. No penetration. Just teasing pressure, the fat tip catching on her hole, stretching the rim without pushing in.
She whimpers, hips canting up desperately. “Inside—please—need you inside—”
“Not yet.” He kisses her again—messy, bruising—while his hand slides down to cup her pussy. Two fingers plunge in without warning, curling hard against her front wall, thumb mashing her clit in tight circles. She screams into his mouth, walls fluttering around his fingers, gushing slick that runs down his wrist.
He fucks her with his hand—hard, fast, obscene squelching sounds filling the quiet room—while his cock slides up and down her folds, coating himself in her wetness. The head bumps her clit on every upstroke, making her jolt and clench.
“Gonna come,” she whines, voice wrecked. “Soobin—fuck—gonna come just like this—”
He groans deep in his throat, hips stuttering. ““Do it. Gonna come on my fingers first,” he growls against her lips. “Then I’m gonna fuck you raw until you’re crying and coming again. Gonna fill you so full it drips out for days.”
The words snap something inside her.
She comes with a shattered cry—back arching off the couch, thighs clamping his wrist, walls spasming violently around his fingers. Wet heat pulses out, soaking his hand, dripping down to the cushion beneath her ass. Her vision whites out for a second; she bites his shoulder to muffle the scream, tasting salt and skin.
Soobin doesn’t stop. Keeps fucking her through it—fingers curling deeper, thumb grinding her oversensitive clit—until she’s shaking, overshot, tears streaking her cheeks.
He pulls his fingers free with a wet sound, brings them to his mouth, sucks them clean while staring down at her wrecked face, he follows seconds later—hips slamming down one last time, grinding deep as he comes with a choked groan against her throat. Hot spurts soak through his sweatpants, mixing with her wetness, the fabric clinging transparently to both of them. His whole body shudders, arms trembling as he holds himself above her, forehead pressed to hers, breaths ragged and shared.
They stay like that—panting, sticky, wrecked—mouths brushing in lazy, open-mouthed kisses that taste like salt and come-down.
The room is silent except for their breathing and Beomgyu’s distant snores.
She sobs his name.
He comes instantly—hips stuttering, cock pulsing hot and thick inside her, flooding her with rope after rope until it leaks out around his base, mixing with her own release.
They barely catch their breath. Soobin’s mouth is still on hers—slow, filthy open-mouthed kisses now, tongues lazy but greedy, tasting salt and come and the faint strawberry ghost lingering on both their lips. His cock is softening inside her but still thick enough to stretch her walls, every tiny shift sending aftershocks through her oversensitive core. Come leaks out around his base in slow, warm dribbles, pooling under her ass on the ruined couch cushion. The wet sound of it is obscene in the quiet room.
She clenches around him once—reflexive, needy—and he groans low against her tongue, hips rocking forward in a shallow, instinctive thrust. Not fucking. Just grinding. Slow, dirty circles that drag his softening length along her fluttering walls, smearing their mess deeper.
“Again?” she whispers, voice cracked and wrecked, half-laugh, half-plea.
Soobin pulls back just enough to look at her—eyes dark, pupils still blown wide, sweat beading on his upper lip. “You’re still dripping,” he murmurs, voice hoarse. “Can’t leave you like this.”
He rolls his hips again—deeper this time—cock hardening inside her with every grind. She whimpers, thighs trembling around his waist, nails digging into his ass to pull him closer. The friction is slick, filthy, oversensitive—every drag makes her twitch and clench, fresh wetness mixing with the come already inside her.
His hand slides between them, fingers finding her clit—swollen, slippery—and rubbing tight, merciless circles. She arches hard, mouth falling open on a broken moan. “Soobin—fuck—too much—”
“Not enough,” he growls, kissing her again—deep, desperate—while his hips snap forward in short, punishing thrusts. The couch creaks under them, springs protesting. His other hand grips her thigh, yanking it higher so he can sink deeper, cockhead nudging her cervix on every stroke.
She’s shaking—whole body trembling—tears streaking her cheeks from overstimulation and raw need. Her walls flutter around him, milking him, pulling him in. He grinds down hard, pubic bone crushing her clit, and she comes again—sudden, violent—sobbing into his mouth as her pussy spasms, gushing around his cock in hot pulses.
Soobin follows right after—hips stuttering, burying deep as he spills again, thick ropes flooding her already full cunt until it overflows, dripping down her ass and soaking the cushion beneath.
They collapse together—sweaty, shaking, breathing in harsh pants against each other’s mouths. Slow kisses now—soft, emotional—tongues brushing gentle, tasting the mess they made. His forehead rests on hers, eyes closed, hand cupping her cheek like she’s something fragile.
The room is dead silent except for their ragged breathing and the faint drip of come hitting the floor.
Then—sharp, piercing—the emergency ringtone cuts through everything.
Her phone. The specific tone she set for Lia. Loud. Insistent. Emergency.
She freezes.
Soobin lifts his head, eyes snapping open, still buried inside her.
The ringtone blares again—once, twice—vibrating against the coffee table where she dropped it earlier.
She reaches for it with trembling fingers, heart slamming for a different reason now.
The screen lights up: Lia calling. And a text preview underneath.
“I’m at Soobin's garage. Emergency. Need you NOW. Please hurry.”
Her stomach drops.
Soobin pulls out slowly—careful, gentle—both of them wincing at the wet slide and the sudden emptiness. Come drips out immediately, thick and warm down her thighs.
She sits up fast—dizzy, legs shaky—yanking her leggings back into place with shaking hands. The fabric clings, soaked through.
“I have to go,” she whispers, voice cracking. “Lia—she’s waiting downstairs. In the garage.”
Soobin nods once—face pale now, eyes wide with concern. He stands, tucking himself back into his sweatpants, wincing at the sticky mess.
“You okay to walk?” he asks, already grabbing her phone and hoodie from the floor.
She nods, but her legs feel like jelly. “Yeah. Just… help me.”
He does—arm around her waist, steadying her as she stumbles toward the door. The apartment is a graveyard—empty cups, passed-out Beomgyu, the couch ruined behind them.
At the door she turns, looks at him—eyes glassy, lips swollen, thighs still trembling.
“I’ll text you,” she says, voice small.
He nods, hand lingering on her cheek. “Go. I’ll clean up here.”
She slips out—door clicking shut behind her—leaving him standing in the wrecked room, come still drying on his skin, heart hammering.
She’s already halfway to the stairwell, leggings still clinging damp between her thighs, hoodie pulled low to hide the marks blooming on her neck. Every step sends a fresh trickle of their combined mess down her inner thigh; she can feel it cooling, sticky, obscene. Her legs shake—not just from the orgasms, but from the sudden drop of adrenaline, the reality slamming back like cold water.
Soobin stands in the open doorway, shirt untucked, hair wrecked, lips swollen red. Come is still drying on his sweatpants in dark patches; he doesn’t bother hiding it. His chest rises and falls too fast, like he ran a marathon instead of just fucking his best friend on a couch.
She pauses at the top of the stairs, hand on the railing, turning back. The emergency ringtone has stopped—Lia must have hung up—but the silence feels louder now.
Soobin steps forward once, twice—bare feet silent on the tile—until he’s close enough to reach out. His fingers catch her wrist, gentle but firm, thumb pressing over her racing pulse.
“Are you coming to college tomorrow?” he asks softly, voice rough from moaning her name minutes ago.
She swallows. Looks down at their joined hands—his so much bigger, knuckles still red from gripping her hips—then back up to his face. His eyes are dark, searching, something vulnerable flickering behind the post-orgasm haze.
“Sorry, buddy,” she whispers, the old nickname slipping out like habit. “I’m going to Mom’s house. Lia needs me. It’s… bad.”
He nods once. Slow. Doesn’t let go of her wrist.
The stairwell door creaks open downstairs—Lia’s voice echoes up, small and urgent. “Hey? You coming?”
She tugs gently. Soobin releases her, fingers trailing down her palm, pinky hooking hers for one last second—like always, like nothing has changed.
But everything has.
She turns, starts down the stairs. Doesn’t look back. Can’t. If she does, she’ll see the wrecked couch, the come-stains, the way his sweatpants cling to his thighs, the marks she left on his shoulders. She’ll see him watching her go, and she won’t leave.
The door to the garage swings shut behind her.
Soobin stands there another full minute—alone in the wrecked apartment—listening to the echo of her footsteps fade, then the distant slam of a car door, then the low rumble of an engine pulling away.
He exhales once—long, shaky.
Then he walks back inside.
Closes the door. Locks it.
Crosses to his bedroom without looking at the couch.
His suitcase is already packed—black rolling case by the closet door, handle extended, zipper half-open. Inside: neatly folded clothes for a week, charger, toothbrush, the small notebook he keeps synced to her calendar. He’s been ready for days. Weeks, really.
He zips it closed. Sets it by the front door.
Then he sinks onto the edge of his bed, elbows on knees, face in hands.
The apartment is dead quiet except for Beomgyu’s snores and the faint drip-drip from the kitchen faucet.
Soobin lifts his head slowly. Stares at the closed door she just walked through.
A slow, quiet smile curves his mouth—not playful, not teasing. Something darker. Hungrier. Certain.
This is the opening.
Finally.
୨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ˖ ݁ ୨ৎ
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓃𝑒 – 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝑜𝓇𝓎 ( reading )
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝓌𝑜 – 𝓇𝑜𝒶𝒹 𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓅
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑒𝑒 – 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓃𝑜𝓌𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓂
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝑜𝓊𝓇 – 𝒾𝓃𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓋𝑒 – 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑒
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝒾𝓍 – 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓀
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃: 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓎𝑒𝓈 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝓈𝒶𝓎
⋆。‧˚ʚ upcoming....ʚ˚‧。⋆
✧ 𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ✧
𝓌𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓇𝓃𝑒𝓇 ♡
✧ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑒𝓉𝓈 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 → [𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒]
✧ 𝓊𝓅𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒿𝑒𝒸𝓉𝓈 → [𝓈𝑜𝑜𝓃]
୨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 ˖ ݁ ୨ৎ → [𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒𝓉𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉]
🩷 𝓊𝓅𝒹𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓅𝒾𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓀𝑒𝓈
౨ৎtag open: @black-startxt, @binniesbabe @buttersoob,
Not sure why it's a new trend among fic readers to assume if the fic has not been posted within the week it's inappropriate to comment on it, like the fic has to be hot out of the oven to give feedback for.
I got a comment on a fic that is less than a year old and it was mostly an apology for being a comment on an "old fic" and how late they were in commenting.
Just comment on the fic. Doesn't matter how old it is.
Fandom is not social media.
Fandom is not trends.
Fandom is a cross between a library and having a slumber party with your friends.
"Old" means nothing to fic.
𝜗𝜚 THE BEST FRIEND THEORY 𝜗𝜚
𝒸𝒽𝑜𝒾 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝒷𝒾𝓃 × 𝒻𝑒𝓂!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓈𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: your best friend is unfairly gorgeous the kind of gorgeous that makes strangers turn twice luckily… he’s gay so it’s harmless when he pulls you into his lap during movie night harmless when he braids your hair while you rant about bad dates harmless when he kisses your temple before exams right?
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮: college au, slow burn → intense burn, smut
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: friends to lovers, hot best friend rumor, dirty talk, manipulation themes, emotional dependency, family pressure, jealousy, smut, masturbation, mdni, fluff, multiple orgasms, mutual pining, morally gray, touch-starved idiots, pregnancy themes in final chapters, obsessive behavior, please read responsibly ♡
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓎𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ˖ ݁dress – taylor swift, shameless – camila cabello, sweater weather – the neighbourhood, killer queen – 5 seconds of summer, love talk – wayv, call it what you want – taylor swift, i wanna be yours – arctic monkeys, peaches & cream – kai, love on the brain – rihanna, do i wanna know? – arctic monkeys, until i found you – stephen sanchez
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓃𝑒 ✧ ɞ˚‧。⋆
The dorm room smells like someone just won the laundry lottery: crisp cotton detergent mixed with that vanilla candle she insists on burning even though it’s basically a fire hazard at this point. The wick is drowning in its own wax, throwing off sweet curls of smoke that fight the coconut shampoo ghost still clinging to everything Soobin touches. From his phone propped against a half-empty iced Americano bottle comes the chillest lo-fi playlist known to man, bass so lazy it’s practically napping. Afternoon sun pours through the floor-to-ceiling window like it’s auditioning for a luxury real-estate ad, painting fat golden stripes across the cream rug that cost more than most people’s rent. Dust motes float through the beams like tiny drunk astronauts. Her left thumb keeps spinning the thin silver ring she bought in a “treat yourself” moment last semester, twisting it clockwise, counterclockwise, clockwise again like she’s trying to unlock something. Soobin’s shoulders are relaxed against the couch back, long legs sprawled, but his left hand rests flat on his thigh—thumb tapping once, twice, three times in perfect sync with the invisible rhythm he’s always hearing. The whole place screams quiet money: soft gray sectional that actually stays clean, plants that haven’t died yet (miracle), no mystery stains, no empty energy-drink cans. Just the kind of effortless niceness that comes from parents who never ask “how much was that?”
She exhales through her nose, slowly, and lets her head tip back against the cushion. The fabric is soft chenille, the kind that costs too much per yard but feels like being hugged by money. Her bare feet are tucked under one of the throw pillows, toes curling into the fringe. Soobin's hoodie—navy, oversized, the one she stole last week and never gave back—hangs loose on her frame, sleeves bunched at her elbows. She can still smell his shampoo on the collar when she turns her head: clean coconut and something faintly woody. Familiar. Safe.
He hasn't said anything in maybe three minutes. Just sits there, scrolling his phone with one hand while the other keeps that slow, absent thumb-tap on his leg. The light hits the side of his face, turning the tips of his dark hair gold-brown, catching the soft curve of his cheek when he breathes. He looks peaceful. Always does around her. Like the world quiets down when she's in the room.
She watches him from the corner of her eye. The way his lashes are stupidly long. The way his mouth rests in a gentle line even when he's not smiling. The way he never slouches like most guys do when they're trying to look cool—he just exists, tall and calm and unbothered. God he's pretty, she thinks, not for the first time. What a fucking waste that he's gay.
The thought lands soft, familiar, almost fond. No sting anymore. Just a fact. Like knowing the sky is blue or that strawberry soju hits differently on an empty stomach. He's her person. The one who remembers she likes her nails almond-shaped and not square. The one who can French-braid better than her own mom ever could. The one who once spent forty minutes debating with her whether Chris Hemsworth's arms or Timothée Chalamet's jawline deserved more thirst tweets, rating them both like it was a legitimate Olympic category. Zero hesitation. Zero fragile masculinity. Just Soobin being Soobin.
She twists the ring again. Faster this time.
He notices—of course he does—and glances over without lifting his head much. His eyes are warm brown, crinkled at the corners already even though he's barely smiling.
"You okay?" he asks, voice low and soft like he's talking to a skittish animal. Which he kind of is. She knows it. He knows it.
"Yeah." She forces a small laugh. "Just thinking how you're literally the only guy I know who can talk about hot guys without making it weird."
Soobin huffs a quiet laugh through his nose. His thumb stops tapping. "Is that a compliment or a roast?"
"Both." She nudges his thigh with her foot under the pillow. "Mostly compliment. You don't get all macho about it. You just… agree. Like when I said that new TA has nice hands and you went 'yeah his fingers are long, good for—' and then made that obscene gesture with zero shame."
He grins now—full, dimples deep, eyes curving into happy half-moons. The kind of smile that makes her stomach do a lazy flip even though she knows better.
"What can I say?" He shrugs one shoulder, casual. "I'm secure in my sexuality."
She snorts. "Understatement of the year."
The playlist shifts to a slower track. The light moves half an inch across the rug as the sun drops lower. Vanilla curls stronger now that the candle's wick is shorter.
Soobin sets his phone down screen-up. Reaches over without asking and takes her left hand—the one still fiddling with the ring. His fingers are long, warm, callus-free because he uses hand cream like it's religion. He turns her hand palm-up, inspects the chipped navy polish on her nails.
"This is peeling already," he murmurs, thumb brushing the edge of one nail. "Want me to fix it later? I still have that quick-dry top coat in my bag."
She doesn't pull away. Why would she? It's just Soobin.
"Yeah," she says, softer than she means to. "That'd be nice."
He nods once. Lets her hand go but doesn't move his own far—leaves it resting on the cushion between them, pinky brushing hers like an afterthought.
She stretches her legs out fully now, bare feet sliding across the couch until her heels bump his hip. The contact is light, casual, the kind of nudge that’s happened a thousand times before. He doesn’t flinch or shift away. Instead he adjusts his posture with that effortless grace he has, long legs folding just enough to give her more room so her ankles end up resting against his side like they belong there. It’s automatic. Muscle memory at this point. Her toes wiggle once against the soft fabric of his sweatpants, seeking the warmth that always seems to radiate off him no matter the season.
Soobin sets his phone face-down on the armrest with a soft clack. The lo-fi track keeps humming, bass line still sleepy, but now it feels like background noise for whatever quiet thing is about to happen between them. He turns his upper body a little more toward her, one elbow propped on the back of the couch, chin resting in his palm. The movement makes the hoodie sleeve she’s wearing ride up her forearm, exposing the thin silver bracelet she forgot she was wearing today. He notices that too, of course. His eyes flick to it for half a second before returning to her face.
She catches the glance and smirks, feeling playful all of a sudden. “What, you gonna offer to polish my jewelry next? You’re already on nail duty.”
He lets out a low chuckle, the sound vibrating through his chest and traveling up her legs where they touch him. “If it’s peeling like your polish, yeah. Can’t have my favorite accessory looking neglected.”
“Favorite accessory,” she echoes, rolling her eyes so dramatically her lashes almost brush her brows. “You say that like I’m not wearing your entire wardrobe half the time.”
“Exactly.” He reaches over and tugs lightly on the drawstring of the hoodie hood that’s bunched around her neck. “This one’s mine. The gray sweatpants yesterday were mine. The black tee with the tiny hole in the collar from last week? Also mine. I’m basically dressing you at this point.”
She laughs, sharp and bright, the sound bouncing off the high ceiling. “You love it. Admit it. You get a weird thrill out of seeing me in your clothes.”
Soobin tilts his head, expression perfectly innocent, but there’s a glint in his eyes that’s pure mischief. “I get a thrill out of knowing you smell like me all day. Territorial much? Maybe.”
She snorts again, louder this time. “Territorial. Please. You’re the least jealous person alive. You literally encouraged me to go out with that barista last month because ‘he has nice forearms and makes good latte art.’ Your exact words.”
He shrugs, unbothered. “He did have nice forearms. And the latte art was on point. I’m supportive like that.”
“Supportive,” she repeats, dragging the word out like it’s evidence in a trial. “You’re supportive the way a gay best friend in a rom-com is supportive. Full enthusiasm, zero competition.”
His smile widens just a fraction, dimples deepening, but he doesn’t correct her. Just let the assumption sit there between them like a cozy blanket neither of them ever bothers to fold up.
She kicks his hip lightly with her heel. “You’re impossible.”
“And you’re comfortable,” he fires back, voice soft but quick. His free hand drifts down and settles loosely around her ankle again, fingers wrapping just enough to hold without gripping. Thumb strokes once over the bone, slow and absentminded, like he’s petting a cat that wandered into his lap.
The touch is so normal it almost doesn’t register as anything more. Almost.
She feels the warmth spread up her calf anyway. Ignores it. Or tries to.
She kicks his hip again, lighter this time, more playful, toes wiggling against the cotton of his sweatpants like she's testing if he'll actually react. Soobin doesn't budge. He just lets his head tip sideways until it rests against the couch back, eyes half-lidded, looking at her like she's the most entertaining documentary he's watched all week.
"You're staring," she says, narrowing her eyes in mock suspicion. "Stop looking at me like I'm about to do something stupid."
He raises one eyebrow so slowly it's basically performance art. "You always do something stupid. I'm just waiting for the live show."
She gasps, dramatic, hand flying to her chest like he wounded her. "Excuse me? My life choices are impeccable. Flawless. Iconic, even."
Soobin snorts so hard his shoulders shake once. "Your last 'iconic' choice was texting that finance bro at 2 a.m. because he said 'you're giving the main character energy.' You came crying to me at 3 because he ghosted you by breakfast."
She groans and flops backward, arms flung wide, hoodie riding up to expose a sliver of stomach. "He had nice teeth, okay? Perfect alignment. Orthodontist-approved. I was blinded by enamel."
"Blinded by enamel," he repeats, deadpan, voice dripping with the kind of dry amusement that should come with a warning label. "That's a new low. Even for you."
She sits up on her elbows, glaring, but the corners of her mouth are already twitching. "You're supposed to be supportive, not savage. Where's my best-friend loyalty?"
"Right here." He leans forward, elbows on his knees now, face closer, voice dropping into that low, conspiratorial tone he uses when he's about to roast her into next week. "Supporting you means telling you the truth. And the truth is your type is walking red flag with a side of gym-bro cologne. I'm doing the lord's work by saving you from yourself."
She throws a throw pillow at his face. He catches it one-handed without blinking, tucks it behind his back like it's a trophy, then reaches out and flicks the end of her nose gently.
"Ow," she whines, rubbing the spot even though it didn't hurt. "Abuse. I'm calling the friendship police."
"Call them. They'll side with me." He grabs her wrist mid-rub, turns her hand over again like it's exhibit A in his ongoing case against her taste in men. "Look at this. Chipped polish. Messy cuticles. You're literally falling apart and still swiping right on guys who can't even text back. Priorities, babe."
She yanks her hand free but doesn't really try hard. "Don't 'babe' me,You're the one who knows how to contour better than half the girls on campus. If anyone's priorities are questionable, it's yours."
Soobin grins, all teeth and dimples and pure evil innocence. "Contour is gender-neutral. And I'm good at it because I care about art. Unlike your taste in men, which is apparently performance art in tragedy."
She bursts out laughing, head thrown back, the sound loud and unfiltered in the quiet room. "You're such an asshole."
"Love you too," he says, soft and quick, like it's nothing. Like he says it every day. Which he kind of does.
Her laughter fades into a grin she can't quite wipe off. She nudges his knee with her foot again, lingering this time. "You're lucky you're hot. And gay. Otherwise I'd have to hate you for being this mean."
He just smiles wider, eyes crinkling until they're almost gone. "Lucky me."
The candle pops once, throwing a fresh wave of vanilla. The lo-fi track loops back to the beginning, bass still napping. His pinky is still brushing hers on the cushion.
—------------------------------------------------------
Soobin has always been tactile in the most innocent way: fixing her hair when a strand falls in her face during lectures, tucking her scarf tighter in winter, letting her nap with her head on his shoulder during movie marathons without ever making it weird. No leering. No lingering too long. Just… care. The kind that feels like home because it never asks for anything back.
That’s the thing about him. He’s never once made her feel like a conquest or a prize or even a maybe. He’s just there. Steady. Warm. Listening to her rant about shitty dates, offering ice cream and brutally honest commentary, then braiding her hair while she cries about the same shitty date ghosting her. He’s seen her at her messiest—hungover, puffy-eyed, mascara-streaked, ranting about how all men are trash—and never once flinched or judged or tried to fix it by hitting on her.
And that’s why the gay assumption fits so perfectly in her head. It explains everything without any scary edges. He can compliment her ass in leggings (“objectively phenomenal, congrats”) and then immediately pivot to ranking male swimmers’ shoulders like it’s a TED Talk. He can hold her hand in crowded places so she doesn’t get lost and never once lets his thumb wander. He can whisper filthy jokes in her ear during group hangouts and laugh when she swats him, because it’s all playful.
If he were straight, she thinks, this would be dangerous. The touches would mean something. The smiles would carry subtext. The way he remembers her coffee order, her cycle (because he tracks it better than she does, the freak), her favorite period snacks would feel like moves in a long game. But he’s not straight. So it’s just friendship on steroids. Extra affection. Extra everything. No threat to the perfect little bubble they’ve built.
She likes the bubble. It’s cozy. It’s reliable. It lets her be vulnerable without fear of rejection or awkwardness or—worst of all—losing him. If he ever looked at her like that, really looked, the whole thing might crack. And she can’t imagine a world where Soobin isn’t her constant. Where she doesn’t have someone who shows up at 2 a.m. with convenience-store ramyeon because she texted “life sucks” at 1:57. Where she doesn’t have the one person who can make her laugh until her stomach hurts even when she’s convinced the world is ending.
So she keeps the label in place like a safety pin. Gay. Safe. Mine (but not like that). It lets her lean into every hug, every casual touch, every late-night confession without second-guessing. It lets her steal his hoodies and sleep in his bed during thunderstorms and cry on his chest without wondering if he’s counting the seconds until he can kiss her.
It’s perfect cus It’s easy.
The candle flickers again, vanilla thickening the air. His pinky stays exactly where it is, brushing hers in the smallest, most innocent rhythm.
She exhales, slow and smug in her own certainty.
Thank god he’s gay, she thinks, the phrase landing like a favorite blanket. Otherwise I’d be so fucked.
She shifts her weight, pretending it's just to get more comfortable, but really it's to press her ankle a fraction harder against his side. The movement is small, almost nothing, but his hand reacts instantly: fingers curl a little tighter around her ankle bone, not possessive, just enough to say he noticed and isn't letting go. His thumb resumes that slow, deliberate circle over the knob of bone, pressure so light it's criminal how much it registers. Heat spreads up her calf in lazy waves, the kind that feels accidental until you realize it's been building for minutes.
Soobin doesn't look down at where they're connected. His eyes stay on her face, soft and amused, like he's cataloging every micro-expression she makes. He tilts forward another inch, elbow still on his knee, chin in hand, closing the space between their faces without ever making it feel deliberate.
"Speaking of terrible taste," he says, voice dropping into that velvet register he uses when he's about to say something devastatingly honest, "you still have that group chat open with the girls? The one where they keep trying to set you up with their brother's friend who 'looks like a taller Soobin but straight'?"
She freezes for half a heartbeat, then bursts into laughter that comes out too loud in the quiet room. "They said taller. Taller. As if height is the only upgrade needed."
He raises both brows now, mock-offended, mouth twitching. "Excuse me. I'm already premium edition. Adding height would just make me unfair to the rest of the male population."
"Premium edition," she echoes, snickering. "You're a walking limited-edition collectible with emotional support boyfriend DLC unlocked. No wonder they keep trying to straight-wash you."
His laugh is low, chest-rumbling, and the vibration travels straight through her legs where they touch him. He shifts his grip on her ankle—slides his palm up to cup the back of her calf now, fingers splaying wide enough to cover most of the muscle there. The move is casual, like he's just adjusting for comfort, but the warmth of his whole hand seeps through her skin and settles somewhere low in her stomach.
"Emotional support boyfriend DLC," he repeats, tasting the words like fine wine. "Accurate.It comes with unlimited hugs, savage roasts, and emergency midnight delivery. Five-star rating. No returns."
She snorts again, but the sound catches when his thumb drags one long, slow line up the inside of her calf—barely there, barely intentional, yet it leaves a trail of goosebumps she can't hide. Her free foot flexes against his hip in reflex, toes curling into the fabric.
"You're ridiculous," she mutters, but her voice comes out breathier than she planned.
"And you're still using me as a human heater." He doesn't move his hand away. If anything, his fingers flex once, gently squeezing the muscle before relaxing again. "Admit it. You'd freeze without me."
She rolls her eyes, but the gesture feels weak now, performative. "I'd survive. Probably."
"Liar." His smile turns softer, almost tender, eyes crinkling at the corners. "You'd miss the premium-edition cuddles the most."
The candle flame dances higher for a second, throwing vanilla-scented warmth across both their faces. His hand stays exactly where it is—warm, steady, claiming space on her leg like it's always belonged there.
The silence finally cracks when Soobin exhales again, longer this time, the sound almost a sigh but too content to qualify. His hand slides off her calf in one slow, reluctant motion, fingers trailing down the back of her ankle before letting go completely. The absence of warmth hits sharper than it should, a sudden cool spot on her skin that makes her want to chase it back. She doesn't. Instead she curls her toes once against his hip, testing the boundary without crossing it, then pulls both legs in toward her chest. The movement is casual, folded knees hugging the pillow now, but it feels like retreat even though she hasn't moved far.
Soobin leans back fully against the couch again, stretching his arms overhead until his spine pops softly. The motion lifts the hem of his shirt just enough to show a thin strip of skin above his waistband—flat stomach, faint line of muscle that disappears under fabric. He doesn't fix the shirt right away. Lets it ride there for a beat while he rolls his shoulders, then tugs it down with lazy fingers.
"Beomgyu's gonna be home any minute with that party energy," he says, voice back to its normal gentle drawl. "You still want strawberry soju or should I text him to grab something else?"
She hugs her knees tighter, chin resting on top. "Strawberry. Definitely. And tell him if he brings that cheap beer again I'm pouring it on his head."
Soobin chuckles, low and easy, already reaching for his phone. His fingers fly across the screen in quick taps, message sent before she finishes the sentence. He sets the phone back down between them, screen dark now, and turns his head to look at her fully. The light has gone fully amber, painting half his face in warm shadow, making his eyes look deeper, almost liquid.
"You know," he says quietly, "you could just stay here tonight. Crash on the couch. Or my bed. Beomgyu's party usually ends with him passed out on the floor anyway."
She considers it. The idea settles warm in her chest: his room, his sheets that always smell like him, the way he never hogs blankets even though he's giant. No walk back to her place in the dark. No dealing with Lia's questions about why she's smiling like an idiot. Just easy. Familiar.
"Yeah," she says after a second, voice softer than the words deserve. "Maybe I will."
He nods once, small satisfied movement, like something clicked into place. "Good. I'll grab extra pillows."
She watches him stand—tall frame unfolding gracefully—and feels that same smug certainty wrap around her again. This is them. This is safe. This is why he's the only one she never has to question.
He glances back once from the hallway, dimples faint in the low light. "Don't move. I'll be right back."
She doesn't. Just sits there hugging her knees, ring still spinning slowly on her thumb, thinking how lucky she is to have a best friend like this.
How perfectly, tragically lucky.
The stairwell echoes with Beomgyu’s arrival before the door even opens: keys jangling like loose change in a pocket, footsteps skipping every other step, already laughing at some joke he’s telling himself. The sound bounces off the concrete walls and spills into the apartment the second he kicks the door wide. A gust of cold evening air rushes in behind him, carrying the faint metallic bite of campus sidewalks and the greasy promise of whatever takeout bag he’s swinging.
Soobin is already up, moving toward the kitchen island with that long-legged stride that makes everything look effortless. He flips on the overhead light—soft warm white, not the harsh fluorescents most places have—and the room brightens just enough to make the shadows retreat. The vanilla candle has finally given up; only a thin trail of smoke curls from the drowned wick, scent fading fast into the background. The lo-fi playlist ends mid-note when Soobin taps his phone to silence it, leaving the space suddenly quiet except for Beomgyu’s entrance.
Beomgyu bursts through, cheeks pink from the run up the stairs, grin splitting his face wide enough to show every tooth. He’s wearing the same oversized denim jacket he’s had since freshman year, sleeves rolled to his elbows, hair a chaotic mess from the wind. In one hand: a plastic bag bulging with bottles that clink together. In the other: his phone, already recording a boomerang of himself kicking the door shut behind him.
“Party people!” he yells, voice cracking on the last syllable for dramatic effect. “Your host with the most has arrived. And he brought reinforcements.”
He swings the bag onto the counter with a theatrical thud. Glass rattles. Soobin catches a rolling bottle of soju before it can tip off the edge, sets it upright without comment, then leans both hands on the marble, shoulders relaxed, watching Beomgyu like a parent watching a toddler with too much sugar.
She stays curled on the couch, knees still hugged to her chest, but she can’t help the grin that tugs at her mouth. Beomgyu’s chaos is predictable in the best way—like a storm you see coming from miles away and still run out to dance in.
Beomgyu finally notices her. His eyes light up even brighter. “There she is! My favorite third wheel. You staying? Because I need someone to film me doing the worm later when I’m three shots deep.”
She snorts, unfolding her legs and stretching them out along the cushion again. “Only if you promise not to cry when you inevitably lose at beer pong. Again.”
Beomgyu clutches his chest like she stabbed him. “Low blow. That was one time. One. And it was because Yeonjun cheated with the elbow rule.”
Soobin lets out a quiet huff of laughter, already pulling glasses from the cabinet. “Yeonjun always cheats. You just keep falling for it.”
Beomgyu points an accusing finger at him. “Traitor. You’re supposed to be on my side.”
Soobin shrugs one shoulder, dimples flickering. “I’m on the side of truth. And truth says you suck at beer pong.”
She laughs again, louder this time, the sound bouncing off the high ceiling. The room feels bigger suddenly, fuller, the quiet intimacy from earlier stretching thin but not snapping. Beomgyu starts unpacking bottles—strawberry soju, regular, a couple of cheap beers, some random flavored vodka he probably grabbed because the label was shiny.
Soobin glances over his shoulder at her, eyes soft in the new light. “Still crashing here?”
She nods without hesitation. “Yeah. Couch is calling my name.”
Beomgyu overhears and spins around, arms wide. “Couch? No way. You get the guest spot in Soobin’s room. He’s got the good pillows. I know because I steal them sometimes.”
Soobin rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny it. Just keeps lining up shot glasses in a neat row.
The first guests will arrive soon. Music will get loud. People will spill drinks and secrets and bad dance moves. But right now, in this brief pocket before the storm hits full force, she feels it again—that smug, cozy certainty.
This is her safe place. Her people. Her ridiculous, perfect best friend who never makes anything complicated.
She watches Soobin pour the first shot of strawberry soju, the liquid catching pink in the light, and thinks how lucky she is that nothing ever has to change.
The buzzer rings again, sharper this time, impatient. Beomgyu vaults over the back of the couch in one fluid motion—long limbs flailing just enough to look chaotic on purpose—and slams the intercom button with his palm.
“Yo, come up! The door's open!” he yells into the speaker, voice echoing back tinny and distorted.
Soobin doesn’t react to the acrobatics. He’s already lining up more shot glasses on the island, neat little soldiers in a row, strawberry soju bottle uncapped and waiting. The pink liquid catches the overhead light and glows like cheap candy. He pours three shots without measuring, liquid sloshing just shy of the rim, then slides one toward her spot on the couch with a gentle push across the marble.
She uncurls fully now, feet hitting the rug, and pads over barefoot. The floor is cool under her soles, a sharp contrast to the lingering warmth from where his hand had been. She picks up the shot, sniffs it once—sweet, artificial strawberry that promises a headache by morning—and raises it in mock toast.
“To bad decisions and worse hangovers,” she says.
Beomgyu spins back around, grabs his own glass, and clinks it against hers so hard a drop spills over the edge. “To me getting laid tonight. And you two finally admitting you’re basically married.”
Soobin chokes on air mid-pour. A tiny splash hits the counter. He wipes it up with the sleeve of his hoodie—her hoodie, technically, but who’s counting—and shoots Beomgyu a look that’s equal parts fond and murderous.
“Keep dreaming, Gyu.”
The door bangs open before anyone can reply. First in is Yeonjun, hair freshly dyed a violent cherry red that looks illegal under the apartment lights, followed by two girls she vaguely recognizes from last semester’s psych elective—both giggling, arms linked, already halfway to tipsy from whatever pregame happened elsewhere. Behind them trails a guy with a backpack full of speakers, wires dangling like tentacles, and then three more randoms she’s never seen but who act like they live here.
The room fills fast. Voices overlap. Someone cranks the Bluetooth speaker on the coffee table—bass-heavy hip-hop that rattles the empty bottles. Yeonjun beelines for the soju, pours himself a double, then throws an arm around Soobin’s shoulders like they’re long-lost brothers.
“Binnie! My man! You look disgustingly sober. Fix that.”
Soobin shrugs the arm off with zero effort, but there’s a small smile tugging at his mouth. “Someone has to make sure you don’t break your face on the coffee table again.”
Yeonjun gasps, hand to chest. “That was one time. And I was pushed.”
The girls swarm the couch, claiming spots on either side of her. One—dark hair, silver nose ring—leans in close, eyes sparkling.
“You’re Soobin’s friend, right? The one he talks about all the time?”
She blinks. “He talks about me?”
The other girl laughs. “Constantly. ‘She hates olives,’ ‘she likes her coffee iced even in winter,’ ‘don’t play that song, it makes her sad.’ It 's cute.”
She feels heat crawl up her neck. Glances toward the kitchen. Soobin is pouring another round, head bent, but she catches the quick flick of his eyes her way—brief, almost shy—before he looks back down.
Beomgyu appears at her elbow, shot in hand, grinning wickedly.
“See? Married. I told you.”
She elbows him in the ribs. Hard.
The music gets louder. Bodies start moving—someone drags the rug back to make a makeshift dance floor. Laughter spikes over the beat. The air thickens with perfume, spilled soju, and the faint metallic tang of excitement.
Soobin weaves through the growing crowd, two fresh shots in hand. He stops in front of her, offers one without a word. His fingers brush hers when she takes it—deliberate? Accidental? Doesn’t matter. The touch is brief, warm, gone.
He leans down just enough so his voice reaches her ear over the noise.
“Stay close. Things might get messy fast.”
She nods, shot burning sweet down her throat.
The music jumps an octave when someone finally connects Yeonjun’s phone to the bigger speaker. Bass drops hard enough to rattle the shot glasses on the island. Bodies pack tighter—someone’s elbow bumps her shoulder, a stranger’s laugh explodes too close to her ear. Beomgyu is already in full chaos mode, dragging the coffee table to the side with dramatic grunts, clearing a wobbly circle of floor space that’s now officially the “dance floor.”
He spins toward her, eyes bright and predatory, holding two red plastic cups like trophies. Beer sloshes inside, foam clinging to the rims.
“Beer pong!” he announces like it’s a royal decree. “You versus me. The loser has to do the worm in front of everyone. Right now. No excuses.”
She raises both brows, arms crossing over her chest. “You’re already losing. You always lose.”
Beomgyu gasps, clutching his heart with one hand while thrusting a cup at her with the other. “Slander. Pure slander. I’m undefeated in spirit.”
Soobin appears at her side like he materialized from the crowd, tall enough to cut through the press of bodies without effort. He plucks the cup from Beomgyu’s fingers before she can take it, sniffs once, then hands it back with a flat look.
“This is warm and half foam. Try again.”
Beomgyu whines but obeys, darting back to the kitchen island to pour fresh ones from the cold six-pack someone brought. Soobin stays planted next to her, shoulder brushing hers every time someone squeezes past. He doesn’t move away. Doesn’t need to. The crowd parts around him like water around a rock.
Yeonjun materializes on her other side, red hair glowing under the string lights Beomgyu strung up earlier. He slings an arm around her shoulders, casual and heavy.
“Team up with Binnie. Make it a couples pong. It’ll be adorable. Everyone will cry.”
She elbows him in the ribs. “We’re not a couple.”
Yeonjun grins, teeth flashing. “Sure. That’s why he’s literally your shadow tonight. Look at him. Guard dog mode activated.”
Soobin doesn’t deny it. Just reaches past her to snag a ping-pong ball from the table Beomgyu is now setting up—two red cups at each end, triangle formation, water inside because no one trusts the beer not to spill everywhere. He bounces the ball once on the table, catches it clean, then holds it out to her palm-up.
“Your shot first,” he says, voice low enough that only she hears it over the music. “Sink it and I’ll buy you actual good soju next week.”
She takes the ball, fingers brushing his for a split second longer than necessary. The plastic is cool and slightly damp. She lines up, tongue poking between her teeth in concentration, and flicks her wrist.
The ball arcs perfectly—plop—straight into Beomgyu’s front cup.
The room erupts. Beomgyu shrieks like he’s been shot, clutching the cup to his chest.
“Cheating! She cheated! Soobin distracted me with his pretty face!”
Soobin snorts, shoulders shaking once. “That’s your excuse? My face?”
Beomgyu downs the cup in one dramatic gulp, slams it down, then points at Soobin. “Your turn, traitor. Sink it or I’m making you sing karaoke.”
Soobin takes the next ball, bounces it once, twice, eyes flicking to her for half a heartbeat before he throws. Clean arc. Plop. Another cup is gone.
Beomgyu throws his head back and howls. “This is rigged! Rigged!”
The crowd chants now—pong, pong, pong—phones out, recording. She laughs so hard her stomach hurts, leaning sideways into Soobin’s side without thinking. His arm comes around her shoulders automatically, steadying her, thumb resting light against her upper arm.
Beomgyu misses his next shot spectacularly—ball ricocheting off the rim and flying into someone’s hair. The room loses it.
Soobin leans down, mouth close to her ear again. “Told you. Messy fast.”
She tilts her head back to meet his eyes. “You love it.”
His dimples flash. “Only when you’re winning.”
The game keeps going. Cups empty. Cheers rise. Beer spills. Someone starts a conga line that immediately collapses into a pile of limbs.
And through it all, Soobin stays right there—arm loose around her, body angled to shield her from the worst of the crowd, quiet amusement in every glance he sends her way.
The beer pong game collapses into chaos exactly as predicted. Beomgyu misses his redemption shot so badly the ball bounces off the ceiling fan, ricochets into a potted plant, and knocks over a half-full cup of beer that splashes across Yeonjun’s white sneakers. Yeonjun shrieks like he’s been set on fire, hopping on one foot while waving his arms. “My limited edition! You monster!”
Beomgyu cackles so hard he has to brace himself on the table. “Collateral damage! War is hell!”
She watches the whole disaster from the edge of the makeshift court, Soobin’s arm still loosely draped around her shoulders like a human seatbelt. The crowd has doubled in the last twenty minutes—more bodies, more noise, more questionable decisions stacking up like Jenga blocks. The string lights flicker every time someone bumps the speaker, casting erratic pink and blue shadows across sweaty faces and red plastic cups.
Across the room, one of the psych girls has cornered the backpack-speaker guy against the wall. She’s got her hands in his hair, mouth on his neck, and he looks equal parts thrilled and terrified. His eyes dart around like he’s waiting for someone to yell “cut.” She whispers something in his ear; he nods frantically, then they disappear down the hallway toward Beomgyu’s room. The door clicks shut. Thirty seconds later, muffled giggling turns into unmistakable rhythmic thumping against the wall.
Soobin tilts his head toward the sound, eyebrow quirking. “That’s gonna be awkward in the morning when Beomgyu realizes his bed is occupied.”
She snorts into her cup. “He’ll just sleep on the floor and call it ‘immersive camping.’”
Another couple—random tall guy with a backwards cap and one of Yeonjun’s friends—has claimed the armchair in the corner. She’s straddling his lap, grinding slow and shameless while he gropes under her shirt like they’re auditioning for softcore. Their makeout is so loud it competes with the bass drop. Sloppy, wet sounds. Occasional moan that makes half the room turn and cheer like it’s a sports highlight.
Beomgyu stumbles over, three shots deep and swaying, pointing at them with exaggerated horror. “Public indecency! I’m calling the morality police! Wait, no, I’m the morality police. Get a room!”
The girl flips him off without breaking rhythm. The guy just grins, dazed and happy.
Soobin leans down, voice low and amused against her ear. “They’re putting on a better show than the actual party.”
She laughs, shoulder bumping his chest. “At least they’re committed. Look at Mr. Backwards Cap—he’s treating it like a religious experience.”
Another couple forms near the kitchen island: two guys from the econ club, hands everywhere, one pinning the other against the fridge while they kiss like the world ends in five minutes. Beer cans clatter to the floor. Someone yells “get it!” and starts filming on their phone.
She shakes her head, grinning. “This place is turning into a low-budget porno set. Where’s the director yelling ‘more passion’?”
Soobin’s fingers flex once on her shoulder, thumb brushing the nape of her neck in a quick, absent caress. “Give it ten minutes. Someone’s gonna start a threesome in the bathroom.”
Beomgyu overhears, spins toward them with wild eyes. “Don’t jinx it! Last time we had to replace the shower curtain. Again.”
She bursts out laughing so hard she has to grab Soobin’s hoodie to stay upright. He steadies her automatically, arm tightening just enough to keep her from tipping.
The room spins with drunk energy—bodies grinding, mouths crashing, hands wandering, everyone too far gone to care who’s watching. Phones out everywhere, capturing the madness for tomorrow’s regret stories. Someone starts a chant of “shots shots shots” that turns into off-key singing. Another couple disappears into the coat closet. Door slams. Giggling. Thudding.
Soobin watches it all with that same calm, half-smile, like he’s observing animals at the zoo. His hand stays on her shoulder, warm and steady, the only point of quiet in the storm.
She glances up at him, still chuckling. “How are you not drunk yet?”
He shrugs, eyes crinkling. “Someone has to drive the getaway car when this implodes.”
She rolls her eyes but leans into his side anyway.
The couch has become their unofficial commentary booth. She’s tucked into the corner now, knees drawn up, back against the armrest, one foot propped on Soobin’s thigh like it’s a footstool he volunteered for. He doesn’t complain. Just lets his hand rest loose on her ankle again, thumb occasionally flicking the hem of her legging like he’s keeping score in a game only he understands. The party has hit peak disaster: bass thumping so hard the empty cups on the table vibrate, bodies grinding in every corner, someone’s already crying in the bathroom over a text from an ex.
Soobin nods toward the armchair couple—the girl still riding backwards-cap guy like he’s a mechanical bull at a county fair. She’s got her head thrown back, mouth open in what looks like a very loud moan, while he grips her hips like they’re the last lifeboat on the Titanic.
“Look at that technique,” Soobin deadpans, voice low enough for only her to hear. “He’s holding on like she’s about to launch into orbit. Solid ten for effort, three for rhythm.”
She chokes on her laugh, nearly spilling her drink. “She’s doing all the work. He’s just… there. Like a very enthusiastic chair.”
“Exactly. Human furniture. Five stars on Yelp for comfort, zero for cardio.”
They both watch as the girl suddenly grabs his face and kisses him so aggressively their teeth probably clack. Tongues visible from across the room. She pulls back, says something, then dives back in.
Soobin tilts his head. “That kiss looks like they’re trying to eat each other’s souls. Is that passion or are they just really hungry?”
She snorts so hard beer bubbles up her nose. “Passion. Definitely passion. The kind that ends with a trip to urgent care for a dislocated jaw.”
Across the room, the econ-club guys have escalated: one has the other pressed flat against the fridge, hands under shirts, hips rolling in a way that’s more dry-hump than dance. The kiss breaks for a second—both panting—then the taller one whispers something filthy enough that the shorter one’s eyes roll back.
Soobin winces theatrically. “Oof. That dirty talk was so loud I heard the word ‘daddy’ from here and I’m not even wearing headphones.”
She covers her mouth, shoulders shaking. “He said it like he’s ordering at a drive-thru. ‘Yeah, can I get one daddy with extra cheese?’”
Soobin’s laugh is quiet but deep, vibrating through his chest into her side where she’s leaning now. “And the response. ‘Coming right up.’ Tragic.”
Beomgyu stumbles past, three cups in hand, spots them, and points accusingly. “You two are gossiping like old ladies! Join the degeneracy!”
Soobin lifts his free hand in a lazy salute. “We’re providing color commentary. Someone has to narrate the trainwreck.”
Beomgyu flips them off, then immediately gets pulled into a sloppy group hug by Yeonjun and two randoms, all three trying to grind at once and mostly just falling over.
She leans her head on Soobin’s shoulder, still giggling. “This is better than reality TV. We should start a podcast. ‘Live from Soobin’s Couch: Watching Drunk People Ruin Their Lives.’”
He turns his face toward her hair, voice dropping softer, amused. “You’d be the mean one. I’d be the nice one who says ‘they’re just expressing themselves.’”
She lifts her head, eyes sparkling. “You’d defend their terrible decisions?”
“Only if they pay for therapy later.” His thumb strokes once along her ankle, slow and absent. “But yeah. I’d say they look very… passionate.”
She snorts again. “Passionate. Sure. That’s one word for it.”
The armchair couple finally tips over sideways—crash—onto the floor in a tangle of limbs and laughter. No one stops making out. Just keeps going horizontally now.
Soobin sighs, mock-sad. “And scene. Tragic loss of verticality.”
She buries her face in his shoulder to muffle the laugh. His arm slides around her back, hand settling warm at her waist, holding her steady while the room spins around them.
The commentary booth turns sloppy around shot number four. Strawberry soju hits different when you chase it with warm beer—sweet first, then bitter, then nothing but warm fuzz and zero filter. She’s giggling into Soobin’s shoulder every few seconds now, body loose, one leg still draped over his lap like it grew there. He’s matching her pace, cheeks flushed a soft pink that makes his dimples look dangerous. The room is a full circus: someone’s doing body shots off Yeonjun’s stomach on the kitchen floor, Beomgyu is attempting to twerk on the coffee table and mostly just falling off, the armchair couple has relocated to the floor and is now aggressively dry-humping while fully clothed like horny teenagers who forgot how zippers work.
A long beat of quiet falls between them—not awkward, just drunk and syrupy. The bass thumps on, but it feels distant, muffled by the alcohol blanket wrapped around their heads. Soobin’s hand has migrated from her ankle to the inside of her knee, fingers splayed wide, thumb resting in the soft dip behind her kneecap. No movement. Just weight. Warm. Heavy in the best way. She doesn’t move it. Doesn’t want to.
Across the room, backwards-cap guy finally gets his shirt off. Throws it like a victory flag. The girl cheers, then immediately face-plants into his chest, laughing so hard she snorts. They roll once, twice—knock over a lamp. It crashes without breaking. No one cares.
Soobin watches for three full seconds, head tilted, then turns back to her with the slowest, most judgmental blink she’s ever seen.
“That,” he says, voice thick and slurred just enough to sound luxurious, “is what happens when you confuse stamina with choreography.”
She wheezes, forehead dropping to his collarbone. “He thinks he’s in a music video. She thinks she’s winning an award for best supporting actress for bad decisions.”
He snorts, breath warm against her temple. “They’re both losing. Spectacularly.”
Another pause. The music dips into a slower track—some R&B remix that makes half the room grind harder. The econ guys are now making out so intensely one of them has the other’s leg hooked over his hip against the fridge door. The fridge light flickers every time it opens and closes from the pressure.
Soobin exhales through his nose, long and dramatic. “I give that kiss a six. Solid technique, but zero finesse. It’s like watching two vacuum cleaners fight over dust.”
She laughs so hard tears prick her eyes, hand slapping his chest once. “Vacuum cleaners. You’re evil.”
“Observant,” he corrects, fingers flexing once against her knee. The touch sends a lazy spark up her thigh that she blames entirely on the soju.
The silence stretches again—five seconds, six, seven—filled only by distant moans, shattering glass somewhere in the kitchen, Beomgyu yelling “body shot round two!” like a war cry. Soobin’s thumb starts the tiniest circle behind her knee. Barely there. Drunk enough to pretend it’s accidental.
She lifts her head just enough to meet his eyes. They’re glassy, dark, crinkled at the corners with drunken amusement.
“You’re terrible at commentary,” she mumbles, words running together. “But you’re right. Everyone here is a disaster.”
He smiles slowly, lazy and devastating. “Except us.”
She snorts. “We’re sitting on a couch judging people while drunk. We’re the kings of disaster.”
“Queens of irony,” he counters, leaning in until their foreheads almost touch. “Best seat in the house.”
Beomgyu, now shirtless and glistening like a budget action hero, climbs onto the coffee table again, holding an empty soju bottle like a microphone.
“New game!” he bellows, voice cracking on the high note. “Drink roulette! Spin the bottle, whoever it lands on has to take a shot and do whatever the spinner dares. No backsies. No mercy. Let’s ruin lives!”
Cheers erupt. Phones flash. The crowd forms a sloppy circle around the table. She’s still tucked against Soobin, head fuzzy and warm, cheeks hot from the alcohol and the laughter that won’t stop bubbling up. His hand has slid higher on her thigh now—casual, drunk, thumb resting just under the hem of her legging like it wandered there by mistake and decided to stay.
The bottle spins again, slower this time, the soju making everything feel like slow-motion film. Beomgyu’s voice cracks on the countdown—“Three! Two! One!”—and it lands with a decisive clink, pointing straight at her.
The circle erupts. Phones flash. Beomgyu pumps both fists like he just won the lottery. “Queen of the night! Dare time!”
She’s too drunk to protest properly. The room tilts when she tries to sit up straighter, so she just laughs and flops back against the couch arm, hoodie riding up to expose a strip of stomach. The cool air hits skin and she shivers once, giggling at nothing.
Soobin’s hand is still on her waist from earlier, thumb brushing the edge of exposed skin like it’s no big deal. He doesn’t move it. Just watches with that glassy, amused stare.
Beomgyu pours a fresh shot of strawberry soju, eyes wicked. “Yeonjun! Dare: drink it off her tummy. No hands. Go full animal.”
Yeonjun whoops, already crawling across the table on his knees, red hair flopping into his eyes. The crowd chants his name like it’s a gladiator arena. He stops in front of her, grinning feral, cheeks flushed deep pink from the alcohol.
“Ready?” he asks, voice slurred and playful.
She snorts, lifting the hem of the hoodie higher with one hand. “Do your worst, pretty boy.”
Yeonjun doesn’t hesitate. He lowers his head, lips brushing her stomach first—teasing, light—then pours the shot straight from the bottle onto her skin. Cold liquid pools in the dip of her navel, sweet and sticky. The crowd loses it—whistles, cheers, someone yells “slurp!”
He dives in. Tongue flat, lapping slow at first, then bolder, chasing every drop. His hair tickles her ribs. She squeals, half-laughing, half-gasping, fingers tangling in his red strands without thinking. The sensation is ridiculous—cold soju, warm tongue, alcohol buzzing in her veins—and she can’t stop giggling even as goosebumps race across her skin.
Yeonjun finishes with a dramatic lick up her midline, then lifts his head, lips shiny, eyes dark and drunk. “Best shot I’ve ever had.”
The room roars.
Before she can wipe the sticky residue or even sit up properly, Yeonjun surges forward, cups her face with both hands—gentle but sure—and kisses her.
It’s bold. Messy. Full soju-sweet and laughter. His tongue slips in playful, teasing hers for a second before pulling back with a loud smack. He winks, collapsing sideways onto the table in fake exhaustion, one arm flung over his eyes.
“Ten out of ten,” he declares to the ceiling. “She’s a pro.”
The circle loses it. Beomgyu high-fives her so hard her arm hurts. Phones capture every second.
She falls back against Soobin, laughing so hard tears streak her cheeks. His arm wraps fully around her waist now, pulling her into his side like gravity. His breath is warm against her ear when he murmurs, “Bold move.”
She turns her face up, noses almost touching, eyes glassy and bright. “Just for fun. No big deal.”
He smiles slow, dimples deep, eyes dark and unreadable in the flashing lights. “No big deal.”
His hand stays on her waist—fingers splayed, possessive in a way that feels accidental until it doesn’t. The bottle spins again. Someone else screams. The party keeps raging.
But she stays right there, pressed against him, the kiss already forgotten in the haze.
The bottle spins again. The party keeps raging.
But she stays right there, pressed against him, the taste of strawberry soju and Yeonjun’s kiss already fading into background noise.
Soobin’s cheeks are flushed a deep rose, eyes glassy and half-lidded, but he still looks annoyingly composed—hair a little messy from people ruffling it, lips shiny from the last shot he took straight from the bottle. The couch cushion has sunk under their combined weight; every time someone walks past, the whole thing rocks like a boat.
She turns her head toward him, cheek smushed against his shoulder, breath warm against his neck. The alcohol has stripped away every filter she ever had.
“You know,” she slurs, poking his chest with one finger, “if you weren’t so stupidly tall, you’d be the perfect height for me to climb like a tree.”
Soobin huffs a laugh that rumbles through his chest into hers. His thumb drags one slow line along the inside of her thigh—barely an inch, but enough to make her breath hitch.
“Climb me?” he echoes, voice low and rough from the drinks. “Bold. You’d need a ladder for the good parts.”
She snickers, head lolling back so she can look up at him through her lashes. “Please. I’d just use your abs as steps. They’re basically a staircase anyway.”
He grins slowly, dimples carving deep. His free hand comes up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, fingers lingering at her jaw. “Careful. Keep talking like that and I might let you try. See how far you get before you slip.”
The words land drunk and playful, but the way his eyes darken a fraction makes her stomach flip. She blames the soju. Totally the soju.
She shifts closer, thigh sliding higher across his lap until she’s practically straddling one of his legs. The movement is clumsy, tipsy, but deliberate enough that his hand tightens on her thigh to steady her.
“Slipping’s half the fun,” she murmurs, nose brushing his cheek. “You’d catch me. Right, big guy?”
Soobin’s laugh is quieter this time, breath fanning hot across her lips. “Always catch you. But if you keep grinding on my thigh like that, I might start charging admission.”
She gasps dramatically, hand flying to her chest. “Charging? After all we’ve been through? I thought we were ride-or-die.”
His fingers flex against her leg, pulling her a fraction closer. “Ride-or-die it is. Emphasis on ride.”
The joke hangs there—dirty, accidental, perfect. Her laugh bubbles up again, but it comes out breathier than before. The room keeps spinning around them—people making out, bottles clinking, Beomgyu yelling something incoherent—but right here, on this sagging couch, the air between them feels suddenly thicker, hotter, heavier.
The fake-flirt doesn’t stay fake for long. It mutates fast, drunk and reckless, like everything else in the room tonight.
She shifts again in his lap—deliberate this time—grinding down once, slow and teasing, just enough to feel how hard he is under the thin layer of sweatpants. His grip on her waist tightens instantly, fingers digging in like he’s trying not to flip her onto her back right there.
“You’re playing dirty,” he mutters, voice gravel-rough against her ear.
She grins, tipsy and bold, lips brushing his jaw. “Says the guy who’s been hard since I let Yeonjun lick soju off my stomach. Hypocrite.”
Soobin laughs low, the sound vibrating straight through her core. His hand slides up her back under the hoodie, palm flat and hot between her shoulder blades, pressing her closer until her breasts flatten against his chest.
“Guilty,” he breathes. “But you liked it. I felt you clench when his tongue hit your skin.”
She gasps, half-laugh, half-moan, and rocks her hips once more—subtle, but unmistakable. “Shut up. That was the cold soju. Not him.”
“Liar.” His lips graze her earlobe. “You’re soaked right now. I can feel it through my pants.”
Her breath hitches. She tries to laugh it off, but it comes out shaky. “You wish.”
“I know.” He nips her earlobe lightly—teeth just sharp enough to sting. “Bet if I slipped my hand down there I’d find you dripping. All from me talking shit in your ear.”
She shivers hard, thighs squeezing his hips. “Keep dreaming, Binnie.”
The music has devolved into a pounding bass line that vibrates through the floorboards and straight up their spines. Beomgyu is somewhere in the kitchen screaming “body shot round three!” while Yeonjun tries to pour vodka into someone’s mouth and mostly pours it on the floor. Phones flash like strobe lights. Moans and laughter mix into white noise.
Soobin turns his face into her hair, nose brushing her temple, lips grazing the shell of her ear. His breath is hot, whiskey-sweet from the last shot he chased with beer. He speaks so low the words are more vibration than sound, meant for her alone.
He pulls back just enough to look at her—eyes dark, pupils blown, cheeks flushed deep. Then he leans in again, mouth to her ear, voice dropping to a filthy whisper that curls straight down her spine.
“I’m not dreaming. I’m imagining how you’d sound when I finally fuck you open—slow at first, just the tip, letting you whine and beg for more while I stretch you out inch by inch until you’re crying on my cock, clenching so tight I can’t pull out even if I wanted to. Then I’d flip you over, ass up, face down, and pound into you until you’re screaming my name and coming so hard you forget your own.”
The sentence lands like a slap of heat. Her whole body clenches—thighs, stomach, core—like someone flipped a switch. A rush of wet warmth pools between her legs so fast she has to press them together. Her nipples harden against the hoodie fabric instantly. She sucks in a sharp breath, the sound audible even over the music.
He doesn’t pull back. Just lets the words hang there, lips still brushing her earlobe, waiting.
She freezes for two full seconds. Then the flustered giggle bursts out—high, shaky, half-hysterical. She shoves at his chest weakly, face flaming, trying to play it off like it’s just another joke in their endless chain of filth.
“Oh my god,” she wheezes, voice cracking on the laugh. “Shut up. You can’t just say shit like that.”
Soobin pulls back just enough to meet her eyes. His pupils are blown wide, cheeks flushed darker now, but the grin is slow, wicked, unrepentant. He licks his bottom lip once—slow, deliberate—like he’s tasting the words he just fed her.
She fans her face with one hand, still giggling, but the sound is breathy, edged with something raw. Her free hand clutches the front of his shirt, knuckles white.
She swallows hard, voice cracking on the laugh. “Wow Soobin, if I didn’t know you I’d want to sit on it right now. The way you just talked was hot as fuck.”
The confession slips out raw, drunk, honest. She expects him to tease back. Joke. Break the tension.
He doesn’t.
His eyes lift to hers—something dark and hungry flickering there, something that wasn’t there five minutes ago. The playful glint is gone. Replaced by raw want. His hand on her waist slides lower, cupping her ass fully now, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise.
His voice comes out gravel-rough, barely louder than the bass.
“Who said anything about being gay tonight?”
The words hit like a second shot of soju—straight to the veins.
She stops breathing.
Half an hour passes like that: whispered filth traded back and forth, hips rocking subtly under the cover of the crowd, hands wandering but never crossing the final line. They watch the room—people grinding, making out, disappearing into bedrooms—but it’s background noise now. Their world has narrowed to mouths close, breaths shared, bodies pressed tight.
Every dirty promise he murmurs makes her wetter. Every teasing grind she gives makes him harder.
He realizes it then—really realizes it.
She’s turned on by him.
Not Yeonjun. Not the party. Him.
The shift in his eyes deepens—dark, possessive, triumphant.
The bass finally drops to a low throb as someone kills the playlist mid-song. Beomgyu is passed out face-down on the kitchen island, one arm dangling, drooling onto a stack of red cups. Yeonjun and the psych girls have vanished—probably tangled in his bed or someone else’s. The living room floor is a war zone: overturned bottles, sticky puddles of soju and beer, abandoned hoodies, a single high-heel lying like evidence at a crime scene. The string lights flicker weakly, pink and purple bleeding into dim amber from the single lamp still on. The air smells like spilled liquor, sweat, cheap perfume, and the faint metallic bite of exhaustion settling in.
She’s still in Soobin’s lap, legs straddling one of his thighs, hoodie rucked up to her ribs from all the shifting and grinding. His hands are under the fabric now—both of them—one splayed across her lower back, the other cupping her ass through the legging, fingers dug in just enough to keep her anchored. Her forehead rests against his temple, breaths coming short and hot against his cheek. The room is emptying fast—people stumbling out, laughing slurred goodbyes, doors slamming downstairs—but neither of them moves. The silence that follows the music is loud, intimate, heavy with everything they’ve been whispering for the last hour.
His heart hammers against her chest. Hers answers in frantic little skips. The alcohol is still buzzing hard, but the haze has sharpened into something clearer, hungrier.
She shifts once—slow roll of her hips down his thigh—and feels him twitch under her, thick and insistent through the sweatpants. A soft, involuntary whimper slips out before she can catch it.
Soobin exhales hard through his nose, lips brushing her cheek.
“Everyone’s leaving,” he murmurs, voice wrecked and low. “Beomgyu’s out cold. We’ve got the place to ourselves.”
She swallows, throat clicking. “Yeah.”
His hand on her ass squeezes once—firm, possessive. “You gonna keep teasing me, or are you finally gonna let me do what I’ve been promising all night?”
She laughs—shaky, breathy—but doesn’t pull away. “You talk like you’re gonna wreck me, Binnie.”
“I am.” His mouth finds her ear again, voice dropping to that filthy velvet register that’s been ruining her since the first whisper. “Gonna spread you out on this couch, peel those leggings off slow, lick you open until you’re dripping down my chin, then fuck you so deep you feel me in your throat. Gonna make you come on my cock until your legs don’t work, then flip you over and fill you up until it’s leaking out of you. You’ll be begging me to stop and begging me not to at the same time.”
Her whole body clenches—hard. A fresh gush of wetness soaks through her underwear and probably his pants too. She gasps, nails digging into his shoulders, hips grinding down instinctively.
“Fuck,” she breathes, voice trembling. “You can’t just… say that.”
He nips her earlobe. “Why not? You’re already shaking for it.”
She tries to laugh again, but it comes out as a moan. “If I didn’t know better… I’d think you actually want to ruin me.”
Soobin pulls back just enough to meet her eyes—dark, blown, no trace of joke left.
“I do.”
The words land heavy. Final.
She stares at him for one long, suspended second—party dying around them, Beomgyu snoring softly in the background, the room empty except for the two of them and the electric tension crackling between.
Then she snaps.
Her hands fist in his hair, yanking his mouth to hers.
The kiss is brutal—teeth clacking, tongues sliding messy and desperate, no preamble, no gentleness. She pours every filthy promise he made back into it, biting his bottom lip hard enough to taste copper, grinding down on his cock like she’s trying to break him.
She’s flat on her back now, legs hooked high around his waist, ankles locked at the small of his back. Soobin hovers above her, weight braced on one forearm beside her head, the other hand shoved under her hoodie, palm cupping her bare breast, thumb rolling slow, relentless circles over her nipple until it’s swollen and aching. His hips are already slotted tight between her thighs, cock thick and rigid through his sweatpants, grinding down in slow, deliberate rolls that drag the rough cotton over her soaked leggings, right against her clit.
She moans into his mouth—loud, broken—tongue sliding against his in wet, sloppy strokes. No finesse left. Just hunger. Teeth clack, lips bruise, spit strings between them when they separate for half a second to breathe. Her hands are everywhere: nails raking down his back under his shirt, leaving red trails; fingers twisting in his hair and yanking hard enough to make him groan; one palm shoving between them to cup his cock through the fabric, squeezing once, feeling him throb and leak against her palm.
“Fuck,” he growls against her lips, hips snapping forward harder. The friction is brutal—his length grinding right along her slit, the seam of her leggings catching on her swollen clit with every thrust. “You’re so fucking wet I can feel it soaking through.”
She whimpers, hips bucking up to meet him, chasing the pressure. “Then do something about it.”
He doesn’t answer with words. Just kisses her deeper—tongue fucking into her mouth in the same rhythm his hips are fucking against her core—while his free hand yanks her legging down just enough to bare her ass and the tops of her thighs. No panties underneath. Just slick, swollen folds rubbing raw against the damp cotton of his sweatpants.
She cries out when he grinds down again—bare clit dragging along his clothed shaft. The friction is filthy, perfect, overwhelming. Her nails dig into his ass, pulling him closer, harder, faster.
“More,” she gasps against his mouth. “Harder. Please.”
Soobin obeys. Hips pistoning now—desperate, erratic—cock sliding up and down her slit, head catching on her entrance through the fabric, teasing without pushing in. His mouth moves to her neck, sucking hard enough to leave marks, teeth scraping, tongue soothing the sting. One hand pinches her nipple, twists just shy of pain; the other grips her hip, holding her still so he can grind exactly where she needs it.
She’s trembling—whole body shaking—thighs quivering around his waist, core clenching on nothing, so close she can taste it.
The kiss doesn’t slow. It deepens into something feral, tongues sliding thick and wet, mouths open so wide it hurts the corners of her lips. She sucks his bottom lip between her teeth, bites down until he hisses into her mouth, the copper tang of blood mixing with strawberry soju and spit. Soobin growls—low, animal—hips slamming down harder, cock grinding brutally along her bare slit now that her leggings are shoved to mid-thigh. The rough cotton of his sweatpants drags over her swollen clit with every desperate thrust, fabric soaked dark and clinging to both of them.
Her hands claw under his shirt, nails raking bloody trails down his back. She feels the skin give, feels him shudder and fuck harder against her in response. One hand dives between them—fingers shoving into his waistband, wrapping around his leaking cock. He’s thick, hot, pulsing in her palm; the head is slick with precome, smearing sticky across her fingers as she strokes him rough and fast. He groans brokenly against her tongue, hips jerking into her fist.
“Fuck—tighten your hand,” he rasps, voice wrecked. “Squeeze me like you’re gonna milk every drop.”
She does. Grips him hard, thumb swiping over the slit, spreading the wetness while her other hand yanks his sweatpants lower. His cock springs free—heavy, flushed dark, veins standing out—slapping wet against her stomach before he notches the head right at her entrance. No penetration. Just teasing pressure, the fat tip catching on her hole, stretching the rim without pushing in.
She whimpers, hips canting up desperately. “Inside—please—need you inside—”
“Not yet.” He kisses her again—messy, bruising—while his hand slides down to cup her pussy. Two fingers plunge in without warning, curling hard against her front wall, thumb mashing her clit in tight circles. She screams into his mouth, walls fluttering around his fingers, gushing slick that runs down his wrist.
He fucks her with his hand—hard, fast, obscene squelching sounds filling the quiet room—while his cock slides up and down her folds, coating himself in her wetness. The head bumps her clit on every upstroke, making her jolt and clench.
“Gonna come,” she whines, voice wrecked. “Soobin—fuck—gonna come just like this—”
He groans deep in his throat, hips stuttering. ““Do it. Gonna come on my fingers first,” he growls against her lips. “Then I’m gonna fuck you raw until you’re crying and coming again. Gonna fill you so full it drips out for days.”
The words snap something inside her.
She comes with a shattered cry—back arching off the couch, thighs clamping his wrist, walls spasming violently around his fingers. Wet heat pulses out, soaking his hand, dripping down to the cushion beneath her ass. Her vision whites out for a second; she bites his shoulder to muffle the scream, tasting salt and skin.
Soobin doesn’t stop. Keeps fucking her through it—fingers curling deeper, thumb grinding her oversensitive clit—until she’s shaking, overshot, tears streaking her cheeks.
He pulls his fingers free with a wet sound, brings them to his mouth, sucks them clean while staring down at her wrecked face, he follows seconds later—hips slamming down one last time, grinding deep as he comes with a choked groan against her throat. Hot spurts soak through his sweatpants, mixing with her wetness, the fabric clinging transparently to both of them. His whole body shudders, arms trembling as he holds himself above her, forehead pressed to hers, breaths ragged and shared.
They stay like that—panting, sticky, wrecked—mouths brushing in lazy, open-mouthed kisses that taste like salt and come-down.
The room is silent except for their breathing and Beomgyu’s distant snores.
She sobs his name.
He comes instantly—hips stuttering, cock pulsing hot and thick inside her, flooding her with rope after rope until it leaks out around his base, mixing with her own release.
They barely catch their breath. Soobin’s mouth is still on hers—slow, filthy open-mouthed kisses now, tongues lazy but greedy, tasting salt and come and the faint strawberry ghost lingering on both their lips. His cock is softening inside her but still thick enough to stretch her walls, every tiny shift sending aftershocks through her oversensitive core. Come leaks out around his base in slow, warm dribbles, pooling under her ass on the ruined couch cushion. The wet sound of it is obscene in the quiet room.
She clenches around him once—reflexive, needy—and he groans low against her tongue, hips rocking forward in a shallow, instinctive thrust. Not fucking. Just grinding. Slow, dirty circles that drag his softening length along her fluttering walls, smearing their mess deeper.
“Again?” she whispers, voice cracked and wrecked, half-laugh, half-plea.
Soobin pulls back just enough to look at her—eyes dark, pupils still blown wide, sweat beading on his upper lip. “You’re still dripping,” he murmurs, voice hoarse. “Can’t leave you like this.”
He rolls his hips again—deeper this time—cock hardening inside her with every grind. She whimpers, thighs trembling around his waist, nails digging into his ass to pull him closer. The friction is slick, filthy, oversensitive—every drag makes her twitch and clench, fresh wetness mixing with the come already inside her.
His hand slides between them, fingers finding her clit—swollen, slippery—and rubbing tight, merciless circles. She arches hard, mouth falling open on a broken moan. “Soobin—fuck—too much—”
“Not enough,” he growls, kissing her again—deep, desperate—while his hips snap forward in short, punishing thrusts. The couch creaks under them, springs protesting. His other hand grips her thigh, yanking it higher so he can sink deeper, cockhead nudging her cervix on every stroke.
She’s shaking—whole body trembling—tears streaking her cheeks from overstimulation and raw need. Her walls flutter around him, milking him, pulling him in. He grinds down hard, pubic bone crushing her clit, and she comes again—sudden, violent—sobbing into his mouth as her pussy spasms, gushing around his cock in hot pulses.
Soobin follows right after—hips stuttering, burying deep as he spills again, thick ropes flooding her already full cunt until it overflows, dripping down her ass and soaking the cushion beneath.
They collapse together—sweaty, shaking, breathing in harsh pants against each other’s mouths. Slow kisses now—soft, emotional—tongues brushing gentle, tasting the mess they made. His forehead rests on hers, eyes closed, hand cupping her cheek like she’s something fragile.
The room is dead silent except for their ragged breathing and the faint drip of come hitting the floor.
Then—sharp, piercing—the emergency ringtone cuts through everything.
Her phone. The specific tone she set for Lia. Loud. Insistent. Emergency.
She freezes.
Soobin lifts his head, eyes snapping open, still buried inside her.
The ringtone blares again—once, twice—vibrating against the coffee table where she dropped it earlier.
She reaches for it with trembling fingers, heart slamming for a different reason now.
The screen lights up: Lia calling. And a text preview underneath.
“I’m at Soobin's garage. Emergency. Need you NOW. Please hurry.”
Her stomach drops.
Soobin pulls out slowly—careful, gentle—both of them wincing at the wet slide and the sudden emptiness. Come drips out immediately, thick and warm down her thighs.
She sits up fast—dizzy, legs shaky—yanking her leggings back into place with shaking hands. The fabric clings, soaked through.
“I have to go,” she whispers, voice cracking. “Lia—she’s waiting downstairs. In the garage.”
Soobin nods once—face pale now, eyes wide with concern. He stands, tucking himself back into his sweatpants, wincing at the sticky mess.
“You okay to walk?” he asks, already grabbing her phone and hoodie from the floor.
She nods, but her legs feel like jelly. “Yeah. Just… help me.”
He does—arm around her waist, steadying her as she stumbles toward the door. The apartment is a graveyard—empty cups, passed-out Beomgyu, the couch ruined behind them.
At the door she turns, looks at him—eyes glassy, lips swollen, thighs still trembling.
“I’ll text you,” she says, voice small.
He nods, hand lingering on her cheek. “Go. I’ll clean up here.”
She slips out—door clicking shut behind her—leaving him standing in the wrecked room, come still drying on his skin, heart hammering.
She’s already halfway to the stairwell, leggings still clinging damp between her thighs, hoodie pulled low to hide the marks blooming on her neck. Every step sends a fresh trickle of their combined mess down her inner thigh; she can feel it cooling, sticky, obscene. Her legs shake—not just from the orgasms, but from the sudden drop of adrenaline, the reality slamming back like cold water.
Soobin stands in the open doorway, shirt untucked, hair wrecked, lips swollen red. Come is still drying on his sweatpants in dark patches; he doesn’t bother hiding it. His chest rises and falls too fast, like he ran a marathon instead of just fucking his best friend on a couch.
She pauses at the top of the stairs, hand on the railing, turning back. The emergency ringtone has stopped—Lia must have hung up—but the silence feels louder now.
Soobin steps forward once, twice—bare feet silent on the tile—until he’s close enough to reach out. His fingers catch her wrist, gentle but firm, thumb pressing over her racing pulse.
“Are you coming to college tomorrow?” he asks softly, voice rough from moaning her name minutes ago.
She swallows. Looks down at their joined hands—his so much bigger, knuckles still red from gripping her hips—then back up to his face. His eyes are dark, searching, something vulnerable flickering behind the post-orgasm haze.
“Sorry, buddy,” she whispers, the old nickname slipping out like habit. “I’m going to Mom’s house. Lia needs me. It’s… bad.”
He nods once. Slow. Doesn’t let go of her wrist.
The stairwell door creaks open downstairs—Lia’s voice echoes up, small and urgent. “Hey? You coming?”
She tugs gently. Soobin releases her, fingers trailing down her palm, pinky hooking hers for one last second—like always, like nothing has changed.
But everything has.
She turns, starts down the stairs. Doesn’t look back. Can’t. If she does, she’ll see the wrecked couch, the come-stains, the way his sweatpants cling to his thighs, the marks she left on his shoulders. She’ll see him watching her go, and she won’t leave.
The door to the garage swings shut behind her.
Soobin stands there another full minute—alone in the wrecked apartment—listening to the echo of her footsteps fade, then the distant slam of a car door, then the low rumble of an engine pulling away.
He exhales once—long, shaky.
Then he walks back inside.
Closes the door. Locks it.
Crosses to his bedroom without looking at the couch.
His suitcase is already packed—black rolling case by the closet door, handle extended, zipper half-open. Inside: neatly folded clothes for a week, charger, toothbrush, the small notebook he keeps synced to her calendar. He’s been ready for days. Weeks, really.
He zips it closed. Sets it by the front door.
Then he sinks onto the edge of his bed, elbows on knees, face in hands.
The apartment is dead quiet except for Beomgyu’s snores and the faint drip-drip from the kitchen faucet.
Soobin lifts his head slowly. Stares at the closed door she just walked through.
A slow, quiet smile curves his mouth—not playful, not teasing. Something darker. Hungrier. Certain.
This is the opening.
Finally.
୨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ˖ ݁ ୨ৎ
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓃𝑒 – 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝑜𝓇𝓎 ( reading )
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝓌𝑜 – 𝓇𝑜𝒶𝒹 𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓅
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑒𝑒 – 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓃𝑜𝓌𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓂
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝑜𝓊𝓇 – 𝒾𝓃𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓋𝑒 – 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑒
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝒾𝓍 – 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓀
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃: 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓎𝑒𝓈 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝓈𝒶𝓎
⋆。‧˚ʚ upcoming....ʚ˚‧。⋆
✧ 𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ✧
𝓌𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓇𝓃𝑒𝓇 ♡
✧ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑒𝓉𝓈 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 → [𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒]
✧ 𝓊𝓅𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒿𝑒𝒸𝓉𝓈 → [𝓈𝑜𝑜𝓃]
୨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 ˖ ݁ ୨ৎ → [𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒𝓉𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉]
🩷 𝓊𝓅𝒹𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓅𝒾𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓀𝑒𝓈
౨ৎtag open: @black-startxt, @binniesbabe @buttersoob,
𝜗𝜚 THE BEST FRIEND THEORY 𝜗𝜚 𝓮𝔁𝓽𝓻𝓪: in between
𝒸𝒽𝑜𝒾 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝒷𝒾𝓃 × 𝒻𝑒𝓂!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓈𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: your best friend is unfairly gorgeous the kind of gorgeous that makes strangers turn twice luckily… he’s gay so it’s harmless when he pulls you into his lap during movie night harmless when he braids your hair while you rant about bad dates harmless when he kisses your temple before exams right?
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮: college au, slow burn to intense burn, soobin pov. bestfriends to lovers
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝒾𝓷𝓰𝓈: soobin pov, obsessive behavior, manipulation themes, morally gray, baby trapping, emotional dependency, he is not a good boy, he truly loves her, both things are true, mdni, please read responsibly ♡
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓎𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ˖ ݁ call it what you want – taylor swift, you are in love – taylor swift, the night will always win – james vincent mcmorrow
౨ৎ ˖ 𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒 ♡ hi loves. this one is soobin’s pov only! we are finally inside his head. all of it. from the beginning, this is soobin. the real one. the whole one. i hope you understand him even when you shouldn't. this chapter was actually just a draft i had sitting around for this fic… like originally i had three different directions for the story and this was the one i picked at the time (ironically it’s my least favorite now lol) i really wanted to give you something while updates are slow 🩷
also!! one big difference here:
in this version they meet at nineteen
while in the original storyline you can kinda tell they’ve known each other since childhood. anyway… please talk to me in the comments
i need the motivation and i really wanna know what you guys think ♡
He remembers the exact moment.
Not the first time he saw her — that was orientation week, crowded hallway, she was arguing with someone about the room assignments with the particular focused energy of a person who is always right and knows it, and he registered her the way you register weather: sudden, significant, impossible to ignore. That wasn't the moment. That was just the beginning of noticing.
The moment was a Tuesday in October of their first year. Study room on the third floor of the library, both of them there by coincidence, sitting at opposite ends of a long table with their separate materials and their separate silences until she knocked her coffee off the edge reaching for something and it went everywhere — across her notes, her laptop, her jeans — and she said a word so creative and so foul that it made him laugh out loud before he could stop himself, and she looked up at him with her jeans soaked in coffee and the look on her face shifting from mortified to surprised to something that wanted to laugh too.
He gave her his spare notes. He always had spare notes. He'd learned early that being useful was the fastest way to become necessary.
She fixed her coffee disaster. He helped without making it a thing. And then she sat back down at the same end of the table instead of the other end and said: I'm terrible with names, you're going to have to tell me yours again, and he told her and she repeated it once like she was checking the weight of it and then went back to her reading.
He walked back to his room that evening and sat on the edge of his bed and thought: that's the one. With the clarity of a person who has never been uncertain about anything important. Just: that's the one.
He didn't know what to do with that. He was nineteen and careful and his family had raised him to understand that wanting something very much was not sufficient reason to pursue it without a plan. His father built a company from nothing through patience and precision and the understanding that timing is not luck, it's preparation meeting opportunity. Soobin had absorbed that lesson at a cellular level.
So he waited. He built something first.
He was the one who refilled her water glass during long study sessions. The one who noticed she left her umbrella behind and ran it out to her. The one who remembered, without being told, that she liked her nails almond-shaped and that certain songs made her sad and that she needed twenty minutes of quiet after a hard lecture before she was ready to talk. He built himself into the infrastructure of her days piece by piece, carefully, without drawing attention to the construction.
And then one day — three months in, early December, the library closing and both of them gathering their things in the cold fluorescent quiet, she reached over and hugged him.
It wasn't a normal welcoming hug, much less a polite one. She moved closer to him as if she'd always planned to be there, her face against his collarbone, her arms around his waist, and exhaled, long and slowly and comfortably, as if something she'd been holding onto all day finally had somewhere to go.
He stood very still.
He was afraid to move, afraid to breathe wrong, afraid that any wrong motion would end it and she would step back and he would have to exist in the space where this had been.
She stayed for a long time. Long enough that his arms came up around her without him deciding to. Long enough that he felt the specific quality of her trust — total, uncomplicated, the trust of someone who has decided you are safe and means it completely.
He held her until she stepped back.
She said sorry, I'm just — it was a long day.
He said it's okay, which was the most catastrophic understatement of his life to that point because it was not okay, it was the opposite of okay, it was the thing that split his life into before and after with the clean precision of a key turning in a lock.
He walked home.
He sat in the parking garage for twenty minutes before he could make his hands stop shaking.
He thought: I cannot say anything yet. If I say anything now, she'll be careful with me. She'll create distance. She'll protect the friendship with that same total focus she brings to everything and I will be filed away under complicated and handled and the door will be not quite closed but almost.
He thought: I need to become indispensable first. I need to be so woven into her life that losing me isn't just uncomfortable, it's unimaginable.
He opened his notes app.
He typed: she likes her nails almond. coffee iced in winter. don't mention the song — it makes her sad.
The first entry.
The gay thing was her idea. He needs to be precise about this even inside his own head — he never said it, never implied it, never constructed the illusion deliberately. She arrived at it herself and he recognized immediately that it was useful and said nothing.
The specific day was a Wednesday in their second year. They were getting coffee and she was telling him about a guy from her communications seminar and he was listening with the careful attention he always brought to conversations about her life, not because he wanted to hear about other men but because she wanted to tell him and her wanting to tell him was the whole point, the trust being built one conversation at a time, and somewhere in the middle of it he made a comment about the guy's jawline being objectively strong and she stopped talking and looked at him with something clicking behind her eyes.
Oh, she said. Oh, are you— she made a gesture. Gay? Or like, bi?
He looked at her.
He thought about the hug in the library. He thought about the nineteen-year-old version of himself sitting on a bed making his hands stop shaking. He thought about what it would mean if he said no, the careful distance that would appear, the reclassification, the way she would become guarded around him in the specific way she became guarded around men she thought were interested, which was to say: polite, warm from a measured distance, nothing like the total unguarded trust of her face against his collarbone.
He shrugged. Said something noncommittal. Changed the subject.
She filled in the rest herself.
He understood immediately what it gave him: access. The particular access of a person who has been deemed safe, all the touching, all the closeness, all the late nights and the shared beds and the hoodies she stopped giving back and the way she talked to him about her body and her fear and her worst moments without filtering. He got all of it. Every piece of her that she kept in the category of too intimate for men who might want something.
He was a man who wanted everything. She just didn't know that yet.
He told himself it was harmless. He told himself he was just waiting for the right moment, that the moment would come naturally, that he wasn't deceiving her so much as allowing her to believe something comfortable while he built toward something true. He told himself a lot of things in those first years. Some of them were almost convincing.
The part he couldn't talk himself out of, late at night with the notebook open: she trusts me completely because she thinks I'm something I'm not. And I let her think it because I need her close and I am afraid of what she'll do if she finds out I've been here all along, wanting, planning, counting down.
He wrote it down. He wrote everything down. That was the discipline of it — not lying to himself about what he was doing, even if he couldn't stop doing it.
He loved her. Completely. Desperately. The real kind, the kind that builds a floor under someone's feet and calls it care. And underneath the love was the fear — the specific fear of a person whose family expressed love through provision rather than vulnerability, who grew up understanding that being needed was safer than being wanted, who had watched relationships fail for his entire childhood because someone needed and someone left and the someone who left always left because they had the option to.
He was making sure she didn't have the option.
Not through cruelty. Through the slow patient work of becoming the most necessary person in her life — the one who knew her schedule and her coffee and her cycle and her fears, the one who was always already there, the one whose absence would register as something wrong with the air itself.
He was not a good person, the way people mean it casually. He knew that.
But he loved her, the way people mean it when they mean it completely. He knew that too.
Both things were true. He had never been able to make them cancel each other out.
He knew she was ovulating.
He had known since September when he synced the app — quietly, while she was in the shower, her phone unlocked on the bathroom counter the way she always left it because she trusted him completely, and he had been tracking it since, adjusting his behavior during her windows in the subtle ways he had practiced: more touch, more warmth, more of everything that made her feel held and wanted and safe, which was the specific cocktail that had always made her lean into him rather than away.
The party was on a Friday. He checked the app Thursday night. Saw the window.
He told Beomgyu to throw the party weeks ago. Beomgyu had been talking about wanting to have people over anyway — Beomgyu rarely needed encouragement in this direction, and Soobin simply provided the timing. A large party was better than a small gathering. Enough people that the noise would be excuse enough for them to sit together, slightly apart from it all, the way they always sat slightly apart from it all, which was the dynamic he had spent years carefully cultivating because proximity in isolation had always moved things forward faster than proximity in crowds.
He didn't plan the dirty talk. That part was genuinely theirs — the escalating joke, the way they always pushed each other's limits in conversations that other people would have called outrageous but that for them was just normal, the particular latitude that came from years of being each other's most trusted person. When it started he followed it, which was not the same as initiating it, and when he leaned close to her ear and said the thing that finally made her breath hitch he did it because he felt her body shift against him and understood that she was further along than she was admitting.
The thing he said was true, by the way. Every word of it. He had been imagining it for years.
When she looked at him after — flushed, laughing it off, trying to play it casual, and said wow Soobin if I didn't know you, and trailed off, he felt the whole night change. Felt the air between them stop being hypothetical. Felt she wanted him, not only the safe version, not the label she'd given him, but him, specifically, the person who'd been sitting three feet away from her for four years waiting for exactly this.
He didn't perform calmly. He just was calm, the particular calm of a person who has been moving toward a thing for so long that arriving doesn't feel like surprise, it feels like recognition.
When she kissed him he kissed her back with everything he had.
He wasn't thinking six steps ahead in that moment. He was just there, with her, finally, his hands on her face and her breath on his mouth and four years of patient waiting dissolving into something that felt like the most natural thing he had ever done.
He was not performing when he held her after. He was not calculating when she laughed against his neck. He was just a man who loved a woman and had finally been allowed to show it, and the joy of that was clean and enormous and entirely real.
Even the good things in him were complicated. He had made peace with that.
When her phone rang — the specific emergency ringtone — he felt the shift before she did. Watched her pull away. Watched her face change from soft to alert in the space of a breath. Watched her become the person who had somewhere to be that wasn't here.
He let her go.
He walked back inside.
He stood in the wrecked apartment with Beomgyu snoring on the kitchen island and looked at the couch and felt the enormity of what had just happened settle into him like something taking root.
Then he crossed to his bedroom. Opened the closet. Looked at the suitcase — black, rolling, already packed, had been packed for days, clothes for a week and the charger and the notebook synced to her calendar — and thought: now.
He zipped it closed.
Sat on the edge of his bed.
Smiled in the darkness, and it wasn't a triumphant smile, just one of certainty. The smile of a man who has been building something for years and has finally seen that the foundation holds firm.
This is the opening, he thought. Finally.
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴
The mall was not in the plan.
That is the part he hasn't written in the notebook because it doesn't fit neatly into the language of strategy — the mall was a Tuesday afternoon errand, her shampoo and the matching conditioner, nothing significant, and then she stopped.
He was half a step behind her when she slowed in front of the new baby boutique — the grand opening banners, the Pokémon theme in the window, and right in the center of the display the Eevee onesie with the tiny ears and the paw shoes and the shorts with the little tail — and he nearly walked into her, caught himself, looked at her face instead.
She was looking at the onesie the way she looked at very few things in the world: completely, without performance, her face entirely open, the particular expression she got when something reached past whatever careful surface she kept in public and touched something underneath it. He had a whole entry in the notebook about this expression. He saw it rarely. He catalogued every instance.
She stood there for four minutes. He counted.
He had his arms around her before he fully decided to — chin on her shoulder, looking at the same window, her body leaning back into him slightly the way it always did now, automatic and warm and trusting — and he looked at the tiny paw shoes and felt something unlock in his chest that he didn't have a word for.
He had always planned the baby. It was in the notebook — planned for the future, the distant hypothetical future, the thing that would come after the relationship was established and she was his in every way that mattered. It was not supposed to happen yet. He was being patient.
But standing behind her at that shop window, her weight leaning back into him, looking at Eevee paw shoes in a size that fit no one he knew yet — he felt the future arrive in the present with such force that the distinction between them stopped making sense.
He thought: I want this now. Not someday. Now.
He thought: she's ready. She just doesn't know it yet.
He thought: I might need to help her know it.
He pressed a kiss to her temple. Suggested going inside just to look.
She said yes because she always said yes to him, and he held her hand through the baby boutique and watched her touch tiny soft things with the expression that made his chest ache and thought: this is what I'm building toward. This exact thing. This is the ending.
He went home and opened the notebook.
He wrote: speed up the plan. today.
And then, underneath, in smaller letters: she'd be an incredible mother. I've known this for years. she just needs someone to show her she's ready.
He believes this. He believes it completely.
That is the most complicated true thing about him.
He goes on a Wednesday morning while she has her nine o'clock.
He knows her schedule. He has known her schedule since October of their second year when she started sharing her calendar with him so he could help her prepare for exams, and he has kept it synced ever since, updated automatically, so that at any given moment he knows exactly where she is and how long she will be there and what state she will likely be in when she comes home.
She will be in her seminar until ten-thirty. He has ninety minutes.
The pharmacy near campus is small and well-lit and he moves through it with the efficiency of someone who has visited before, which he has, not for this specifically, but for her period products, her pain relievers, the specific brand of vitamins she mentioned once being low on. He knows this aisle. He knows what she reaches for.
He picks up her period products first. The right ones — the overnight pads she always forgets, the liners, the specific brand. He knows these the way he knows her coffee order: completely, without having to think about it, the knowledge built into him over years the way language is built, structural rather than conscious.
Then he takes his time with the vitamins.
He has done his research. This is not an impulse, nothing he does is an impulse, it is a decision made over several weeks, researched carefully, crosschecked. Prenatal vitamins in the correct dosage to support fertility without announcing their purpose. Same aisle as her usual supplements. Close enough in appearance — amber bottle, similar capsule — that substituting them is a matter of placement rather than concealment. She takes what he sets out. She has always taken what he sets out. This is the trust he has built, the floor beneath her feet, and he is now standing on it.
He adds them to the basket.
He picks up the after-pill too — the expensive one, the one he told her actually works — and holds it for a moment, then pockets it on the way to the register.
He is not a monster. He knows this not because he tells himself but because he checks regularly, holds his actions up against the light and looks at them clearly. He is a man who loves a woman and has decided that the natural pace of her arriving at what he already knows — that they are each other's, that this was always where they were going — is too slow, too vulnerable to interference, too dependent on her having the freedom to choose something else. He has removed some of that freedom. Quietly. Carefully. With the conviction of a person who believes he is making a choice she would ultimately make herself, given enough time and enough safety.
He knows this reasoning is not airtight.
He knows it anyway. Holds it alongside the love, which is enormous and genuine and the truest thing in him.
He pays for the basket. Walks back to the apartment. Sets the vitamins on her bathroom shelf in the place where her old ones were, same position, same angle, and puts the old bottle in his bag to dispose of elsewhere.
He makes coffee.
She comes home at ten-forty, bag over her shoulder, hair slightly windswept, and drops into her chair at the kitchen table and says something about her seminar professor that makes him laugh, and he puts the coffee in front of her and the specific brand of biscuit she likes and sits across from her and listens to her talk.
She is so easy to love.
That is the thing he could never explain to anyone who asked, not that he would ever explain any of this to anyone who asked — but the thing underneath all the planning, the thing that makes the planning feel like devotion rather than possession: she is so extraordinarily easy to love. Every small preference, every habit, every morning routine and late-night spiral and the specific way she laughs when something surprises her. He would have loved her without the notebook. He loved her before the notebook. The notebook is just what love looks like when you're terrified of losing it.
He watches her drink her coffee.
He thinks: she'll take the vitamins tomorrow. She already trusts me with everything. This is just one more thing.
He thinks: we're almost there.
He thinks: she's going to be an extraordinary mother. She doesn't know this yet. He has known it for years.
Her father was going to be the hardest part. He knew this going in.
He had been building toward the graduation dinner for months, not just the dinner itself, the whole sequence: the thesis help, the schedule management, the way he made himself so entirely reliable that by the time the families sat down together at that restaurant, her father would already have a picture of him built from her unconscious testimony. She talked about him constantly. He knew this because Beomgyu had told him — she mentions you in every context, Bin, it's actually kind of insane — and because he had read the texts she sent to Lia in January, which he shouldn't have read but did, because he had access to her phone and used it carefully and only when he needed to know something important.
She told Lia: he knows me better than I know myself sometimes and I don't know if that's beautiful or terrifying.
He read that text three times.
He thought: she's almost there.
The dinner itself went exactly as he'd anticipated. Her father was formal and probing and smart — he respected that, genuinely, it was not performance, and Soobin answered every question with the truthful version of the answer that also happened to be the most reassuring. His plans, his income, his intentions. The position with his father's company, the apartments he was already researching, the fact that he planned to be around — phrased carefully, not possessively, as a practical reality rather than an announcement.
Her father nodded once near the end. Deliberate. The nod of a man who has made a decision and is closing a file.
Soobin didn't smile. Just held the eye contact for the appropriate beat and then looked away.
He walked back to the apartment with her afterward and she was wearing his jacket and asking about what he'd said to her father and he told her the truth — he told her the truth about most things, which was not the same as telling her everything — and she nodded and seemed satisfied and hooked her pinky through his in that old instinctive way she had, the one that had started as a crowd habit and become something else entirely, and he hooked back and they walked the last three blocks without needing to say anything.
He thought: she doesn't know she's already chosen. She thinks she's still deciding.
He thought: that's fine. She can decide at her own pace. I've built the only house available.
He is not proud of all of it. He wants to be clear about this even inside his own head —is not performative clarity, real clarity, the kind that looks at what you've done and names it without flinching. He has manipulated her. He has removed choices from her without her knowledge. He has made her dependent on him carefully and deliberately and called it love, which it is, but love is not an excuse for the method — he knows this, he has always known this, it is the thing he writes in the notebook late at night when the careful composure slips.
He writes it and keeps going anyway.
Because the fear is bigger than the conscience. The specific fear of a man who has never trusted that being wanted is the same as being stayed for — that has always been his mother tongue, the original wound, the thing his expensive family and his formal upbringing never quite healed. The fear that says: if she has the option to leave, she will. Not because she doesn't love him. Because loving someone and staying with them are different skills and people get them confused.
He is making sure they don't get confused.
That is what he tells himself.
He is not entirely wrong. He is also not entirely right. Both things are true in the specific way that the most important truths are always complicated and resist the clean version.
She comes out of the bedroom holding the positive test and his first thought is: there it is.
Not I'm surprised or I didn't expect this — there it is, the clean arrival of something he's been moving toward, the confirmation that what he built was strong enough to reach the place he was building toward. He feels it in his chest like a key turning, like a door opening, like coming home.
His second thought is: she's terrified.
He sees it in the specific quality of her stillness — the way she holds herself when something enormous has arrived and she hasn't had time to construct a response yet, the controlled surface over a current running hard underneath. He has a whole section of the notebook about her fear responses, the difference between the fear that makes her go quiet and the fear that makes her go loud and which one means she needs space and which one means she needs contact.
This is the quiet kind.
He crosses the room. Sits in front of her, lower than her, the geometry shifted so she's above him for once because he knows — he has always known — that being looked up to rather than looked up at changes the dynamic of a hard moment, gives the person you're looking up to something they need without asking.
He waits for her to speak.
She says: I'm pregnant. Her voice is steadier than she feels. He knows this because he knows every register of her voice and the steady one costs her effort right now.
He says: I know. Soft. Without apology.
She asks the question: was it an accident?, and he answers honestly, which is the first time in a long time he answers something about the plan without the careful shaping he normally applies. He says: I wasn't careful, and I knew what that could mean, and I didn't stop. And she says: that's not an accident. And he says: no. It isn't.
He watches her absorb it.
He watches her decide not to run.
He watches her ask for time and he says: take all the time you need, and means it, because he has been patient for four years and three more days is nothing, is the blink between holding breath and finally letting it out.
He holds her hand. Feels her pulse — quick, frightened, working through something enormous — and keeps his thumb over it the way he has kept his thumb over it in a hundred difficult moments, the specific pressure that says: I'm here, I'm not leaving, you can do this.
She keeps her hand in his.
That is all he needs tonight.
The three days she gives herself he fills quietly — ginger tea researched at midnight and procured by morning, crackers on the nightstand, the note because he knows she reads better than she hears when she's processing something heavy, the apartment listings pulled up and the map annotated and the notebook moved to where it could be found.
He moves the notebook deliberately. Not to expose himself, not fully, not in a way he controls, but because he understands something she doesn't yet: the discovery needs to happen on her terms to mean anything. If he tells her, it's a confession. If she finds it, it's a choice she makes. He needs her to choose knowing, not be given it.
He moves the notebook to where it can be seen if she looks closely.
And then he does the most difficult thing he has done in four years of careful planning: he waits.
౨ৎ
She finds it on a Thursday morning.
He sees her see it — watches her eyes catch the corner peeking out from under the laptop, watches the still half-second of recognition, watches her look at his hand as he moves toward it and stops himself, too slow, she's already clocked the motion.
She picks it up.
He goes completely still.
He has imagined this moment many times. He has imagined her anger — the specific kind, cold and precise, the kind she deploys rarely and devastatingly. He has imagined her walking out. He has imagined her asking him to leave Lia's apartment, the apartment he has been living in for months, and he has thought about what he would do if that happened and the answer he arrived at was: I would go. And I would come back. Because I always come back, and eventually she always lets me, and that has been the rhythm of us since the beginning and I know it the way I know her coffee order, the way I know her cycle — completely, without doubt.
What he has not imagined is what he sees.
She reads every page. He watches her face as she reads — every flicker, every tightening, every moment where she stops and he watches her absorb something specific and then keeps reading. He watches her find the ovulation entries. He watches her find the storm forecast note. He watches her find the vitamins.
He watches her find: she trusts me completely. I don't know if I deserve it.
She closes the notebook.
Sets it on the table.
Looks at him.
And her face is not what he prepared for. It is not cold or precise or devastating. It is tired and complicated and something else underneath — something that looks, if he is reading her correctly, and he is always reading her correctly — like the expression of a person who has found something that confirms what they already knew and is deciding what to do with the confirmation rather than with the surprise.
She already knew.
Not specifically, not the notebook, or the vitamins — but the shape of it. She knew and she chose not to look closely because looking closely would have required her to act on what she found and she wasn't ready to act on it and she wanted to stay in the warmth of what they had more than she wanted to examine how it was built.
He understands her so completely in this moment that it steals his breath.
She is morally gray too. That is the truth he loves about her most — she is not innocent, she has never been innocent, she has been a willing participant in something she let herself not-quite-see because it suited her, and when he finally says yes to every question she asks him, gives her every confirmation, makes himself knowable in the full complicated real sense — she still looks at the apartment listing.
Still asks about the park.
Still stays.
He crouches in front of her chair. Puts his hands around hers. Feels her pulse — still fast, still working through something enormous — and keeps his thumb there, the same pressure, the same message: I'm here. I'm not leaving. You can do this.
She doesn't pull away.
She says: I'm still here.
And he thinks: I know. You have always been here. I built toward here and you walked the whole way and neither of us fully admits that you walked it willingly.
He says: I know. Soft. Like a man receiving something he wasn't sure he'd earned.
She says: tell me about the park.
And he does.
He tells her about the park — the one with the good light in the mornings, the one near the apartment building with the quiet hallways and the room that could be a nursery or an office or both, the one he drove past twice in February to confirm it was the right choice, the one twenty minutes from both their families and close enough to the hospital and far enough from campus to feel like after instead of still. He tells her all of it, and she listens, and gradually the tension in her hands eases, and the apartment that smells like cedar and ginger tea and the particular warmth of two people who have been building a life together without naming it holds them both without asking for anything more.
Later — much later, 2am, her asleep against his side, her hand curled under his in sleep the way it always finds him — he opens the notebook app on his phone in the dark.
He types the last entry he will write for a long time:
she found it. she stayed.
she asked about the park.
that's everything. that's always been everything.
He locks the phone.
Closes his eyes.
Listens to her breathe.
౨ৎ prev ✧ next — 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑒𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉: 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝑒𝓈𝓉
౨ৎ tag open: @black-startxt @buttersoob @idkguyslma @toru-saki @amelie-sama-blog @binniesbabe @ravenslocked @usuallyunlikelyfox @whoreforjongho @kpoploserr
🩷 𝓊𝓅𝒹𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓅𝒾𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓀𝑒𝓈
𝓌𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓇𝓃𝑒𝓇 ♡
✧ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑒𝓉𝓈 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 → [𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒]
✧𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 → [𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒]
✧ 𝓊𝓅𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒿𝑒𝒸𝓉𝓈 → [𝓈𝑜𝑜𝓃]
୨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 ˖ ݁ ୨ৎ → [𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒𝓉𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉]
𝓊𝓅𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓃𝓰 ꒰ა𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒲𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝒞𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇-𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓂໒꒱ 𝒸𝒽𝑜𝒾 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝒷𝒾𝓃 × 𝒻𝑒𝓂!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 ໒꒱ Hogwarts AU

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
𝜗𝜚 THE BEST FRIEND THEORY 𝜗𝜚 𝓈𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃
𝒸𝒽𝑜𝒾 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝒷𝒾𝓃 × 𝒻𝑒𝓂!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓈𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: your best friend is unfairly gorgeous the kind of gorgeous that makes strangers turn twice luckily… he’s gay so it’s harmless when he pulls you into his lap during movie night harmless when he braids your hair while you rant about bad dates harmless when he kisses your temple before exams right?
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮: college au, slow burn → intense burn, smut, cp 7!
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝒾𝓷𝓰𝓈: friends to lovers, pregnancy, manipulation themes, emotional dependency, morally gray, obsessive behavior, soft!soobin, overwhelmed reader, the notebook reveal, mdni, please read responsibly ♡
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓎𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ˖ ݁ until i found you – stephen sanchez, call it what you want – taylor swift, the night will always win – james vincent mcmorrow, you are in love – taylor swift, love on the brain – rihanna, sweater weather – the neighbourhood, i wanna be yours – arctic monkeys
౨ৎ ˖ 𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒 ♡ hi loves ♡ college is about to get really busy for the next couple months, so updates might slow down a bit :(
i’ll still try to post some older drafts / small extras, while i survive this. thank you for the patience <3
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃: 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓎𝑒𝓈 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝓈𝒶𝓎 ✧ ɞ˚‧。⋆
It starts with coffee.
Just coffee, the same order from the same place two blocks over, the one Soobin introduced her to and that has been hers for two years now, the one she brings to her lips on a Tuesday morning three weeks after graduation and her stomach turns so hard and so fast she has to set the cup down and press both palms flat to the counter and breathe through her nose for a full ten seconds.
She blames the milk. The milk is probably off.
Wednesday it happens again, this time with eggs — Soobin at the stove, the kitchen bright and warm and smelling like something good — and she has to leave the room fast, murmuring something about her phone charger, and stands in the hallway of the apartment she shares with Lia, the apartment that has been just hers since January when Lia's mother got sick and Lia packed a bag and said I don't know how long and kissed her cheek and left. She stands with her back against the wall outside her own bathroom and waits for her stomach to remember where it lives.
She blames stress. Post-graduation decompression. Her body finally releasing four years of held tension all at once.
Thursday she throws up.
Quietly, efficiently, tap running, hand pressed to her mouth. She sits on the bathroom tile after — the same tile Lia picked out freshman year because it was the cheapest option that didn't look cheap — and stares at the ceiling and counts backward and then counts again because the first answer cannot be right and the second answer is the same as the first.
She is late.
She is never late.
She knows this because he tracks it — the thought arrives and she lets it pass without examining it, the way she lets most thoughts about how much he knows pass without examining them, because examining them leads somewhere she isn't ready to go. She just knows she is late and her stomach has been wrong for a week and the coffee she has drunk every morning for two years suddenly smells like a threat.
She comes out of the bathroom looking completely fine. She is excellent at looking fine. He is at the kitchen counter reading something on his phone, and he hands her a glass of water without looking up — just reaches for it and holds it out, already poured, already room temperature because he knows she can't stand cold water first thing in the morning — and she takes it without comment and drinks it all and tells herself: probably nothing. definitely nothing. she'll wait one more day and then it will be nothing.
She waits two more days.
It is not nothing.
Lia answers on the second ring, voice warm and slightly rough the way it always is in the morning, and the relief of hearing her is so immediate and physical that she has to sit down on the edge of the bed.
"Hey," Lia says. "You sound weird. What happened."
"Nothing yet," she says. "I need you to stay on the phone with me while I go to the pharmacy."
A pause. Then, very carefully: "Okay. I'm here. Go."
She goes.
The pharmacy near campus is small and bright and mercifully quiet at nine in the morning. Lia talks her through the aisle — this one, yes the three-pack, and grab the gummy bears from the front because you're going to need them, trust me — and she puts everything in the basket without looking at the prices and pays with her card and walks back to the apartment with her bag and her phone and the specific feeling of a person who already knows the answer and is just completing the formality of being told.
Soobin is out. She checked before she left — morning run, he goes at eight-thirty every day, back by ten, she knows this the way she knows everything about his schedule now, which is to say completely and without having to think about it.
She takes all three tests.
She sits on the bathroom floor between each one with her phone pressed to her ear and Lia on the other end not talking, just breathing, which is exactly the right thing and exactly why Lia is her person even from eight hours away.
All three say the same thing.
She looks at them lined up on the sink edge and feels everything simultaneously, which means she feels nothing for about thirty seconds, and then she puts her face in her hands.
"Lia," she says.
"I know," Lia says, voice soft and steady across the distance. "I know. Breathe."
"How did this—" she stops. She knows how. She's been telling herself for weeks that he handled it, the expensive pill, the good brand, we're covered, and she accepted that the way she accepts everything from him — fully, without verification, because he has never been wrong and she trusts him completely. "I was careful," she says, and even as the words leave her mouth they feel slightly wrong, slightly imprecise, like she's describing something she only has half the information for.
Lia is quiet for a moment. "Were you?"
She thinks about the drawer. The condoms she stopped tracking. The vitamins she takes every morning without checking the label because he sets them out and she takes them because he's always right about what she needs.
She thinks: were you.
She doesn't have an answer yet.
"He's going to be calm about this," she says instead, into her palms, the words muffled. "He's going to be so unbearably calm and I'm going to want to scream."
"Is that the worst thing?" Lia asks. "Him being calm?"
She thinks about it honestly — sitting on the bathroom floor of the apartment they share, the apartment he has been living in for months, his shampoo on the second shelf, his running shoes by the door, his handwriting on the grocery list on the fridge.
"No," she admits. "Right now it might be the only thing that doesn't make me fall apart completely."
She hears the front door open at ten-oh-four.
He reads the room from the hallway.
She knows he does this — she's watched him do it a hundred times, the small pause before he enters any space where she is, the half second of assessment that tells him everything before a word is spoken. She used to think it was just attentiveness, the natural result of knowing someone this well. She is beginning to think it is something more precise than that.
He appears in the living room doorway, jacket unzipped, hair wind-messed from the run, cheeks pink, and takes in the scene in one sweep: her on the armchair with her knees pulled up, the bathroom door open behind her, the specific quality of her stillness that is not calm but the performance of calm. His eyes find hers and stay.
He understands. She watches him understand — the fractional widening of his eyes, the long exhale through his nose, the way his shoulders drop in a motion so small anyone else would miss it. Not surprise exactly. More like confirmation.
Not surprised, she thinks. He's not surprised.
She puts that away for later.
"I've got her," he says quietly toward her phone, which she's still holding, and she realizes he could hear Lia's breathing from across the room — that's how quiet the apartment is, that's how attuned he is. She tells Lia she'll call back, and Lia says I love you and she says I love you and the call ends and then it's just them in the apartment and the three tests on the bathroom sink and the grocery list in his handwriting on the fridge.
He crosses to the armchair. Crouches in front of her so his face is level with hers, lower than hers, actually, which changes the geometry of them in a way she isn't used to, him looking up at her for once — and waits.
"I'm pregnant," she says.
"I know," he says, soft as an exhale.
She stares at him. "Say it. Say you already knew."
"I suspected," he says. "A few days. The nausea. Wednesday when you left the kitchen. I didn't want to say anything until you knew for yourself."
She nods slowly. "Of course you knew."
"I—"
"Of course," she says again, not unkindly, just tired and true and still processing the thing she's been not-quite-letting-herself-think for four days. "You know everything about my body before I do. You track my cycle. You noticed before I put it together." She pauses. "Were you surprised?"
He holds her gaze. The pause that follows is the most honest thing he's done in months — not because it contains an admission, but because it doesn't contain a denial.
"No," he says finally. Quietly.
The word lands like a stone in deep water. She watches the circles move out and doesn't try to stop them.
"How did this happen," she says, and even as she asks it she's not sure what answer she's looking for — the biological one she already knows or the other one, the one underneath, the one she can almost see the shape of but can't quite bring herself to name yet.
He doesn't answer the biological version. He says: "I wasn't careful. And I knew what that could mean."
"That's not the same as an accident."
"No," he agrees. "It isn't."
She puts her face in her hands again. Stays there. He doesn't reach for her — just waits, crouched in front of her chair, giving her the space she needs to process without trying to fill it, which is exactly what she needs and exactly what she can't figure out whether to be grateful for.
"What do you want?" she asks into her palms. The only question that matters right now.
"Whatever you decide," he says, immediately, steady. "Fully, completely, no conditions. If you can't do this right now I will take care of everything and hold your hand through it and we will not speak of it until you want to. If you want to keep it—" a pause, and in it she hears something she can't quite name, something enormous and patient finally permitted to be itself "—I will spend every day making sure neither of you needs a single thing I can give you."
She lifts her face. Studies his. "You already know what you want."
"This isn't about what I want."
"Soobin."
He holds her gaze — and there, just underneath the careful and the steady, she sees it. The yes. The already. The quiet certainty of a man who has been imagining this from inside a plan he hasn't shown her yet.
"Yes," he says softly. "I know what I want."
She wipes her face with her wrist. Breathes. "I need time. A few days."
"Take all the time you need."
"Stop being so reasonable," she says, and her voice wobbles between tears and a laugh. "It's making it harder."
He reaches out — slow, careful — and takes her hand. Doesn't grip. Just holds it in both of his, warm and steady, thumb resting over her pulse the way it always does, the way it has done since the very beginning, since long before she understood what that meant.
She lets him.
She gives herself three days.
The first she spends mostly on the couch in Lia's side of the apartment — the side that still smells a little like Lia's perfume even though she's been gone for months, the side with the dying succulent Lia asked her to water and she keeps forgetting and then watering too much to compensate, curled around a blanket that is technically Lia's and calling her mother without telling her why and just listening to her talk about the garden and the neighbor's dog and the normalcy of a world that hasn't changed yet.
She doesn't call her father.
The second day she goes to the shelter alone, without telling Soobin where she's going. She sits in run 14 with Max's enormous golden head in her lap for forty minutes and scratches behind his ears and thinks about things she doesn't have words for yet. Max asks nothing of her. This is currently his greatest quality. She thinks about the baby clothes in the mall window — the Eevee onesie, the tiny paw shoes, the way her chest had gone warm and aching looking at them, and thinks about Soobin's arms coming around her from behind, his chin on her shoulder, his voice saying just to look. She thinks about how sure he was. How already he felt, even then. She thinks: he has been several steps ahead of me for a very long time and I have been so comfortable in that I never looked up to see how far.
On the third night she turns over in the dark and faces him.
He's awake. Of course he's awake. Watching her with those dark steady eyes that have been watching her for years and waiting for her to be ready to look back.
"I'm keeping it," she says.
He closes his eyes. Just for a second. Just long enough for something enormous to move through him. When he opens them again they're bright in the dark in a way she's never quite seen before — not tears, just light, like something that has been under pressure for a long time finally being given room to breathe.
"Okay," he says, and his voice comes out rough at the edges. "Okay."
"Say something real," she says. "Not just okay."
He reaches for her — slow — cups the back of her head and pulls her forward until her forehead rests against his. His thumb moves through her hair, back and forth, the rhythm of it like breathing.
"We're having a baby," he whispers, and stops. Starts again. "I'm—" his breath shakes, just slightly. "I'm so—"
He doesn't finish.
She understands everything he doesn't finish.
"I know," she whispers back.
She falls asleep with his hand in her hair and doesn't dream of anything.
She wakes to ginger tea on her nightstand.
Ginger tea, which she has not asked for, which she didn't know was in the apartment, which is apparently what you're supposed to drink for first trimester nausea and which Soobin has clearly researched in the seventy-two hours since she told him, because of course he has, because there is no version of a thing she needs that he doesn't immediately move to provide. There is also a sleeve of crackers. A banana. A small folded note in his handwriting: eat before you stand up. body needs it first. trust me.
She eats the crackers before her feet touch the floor. The nausea, when she stands, is slightly less devastating than yesterday. She credits the crackers. She would like to not credit him for this but she does.
She pulls his hoodie over her head — it's hers now in every practical sense, has been hers for so long she can't remember which specific act of theft initiated it — and pads out to the apartment.
He is at the dining table.
This is not unusual. He is often at the table in the mornings, coffee to his left, something open on his laptop. The domestic geometry of him in Lia's apartment — the apartment she's been living in alone since January, the one he gradually filled with his presence the way weather fills a room — stopped being remarkable to her months ago. She walks past him toward the kitchen without really registering him.
Then she registers what's on the table.
She stops.
Laptop open — property listings, multiple tabs, each one a different apartment in the city, prices and square footages visible from here. A notepad covered in his handwriting — addresses, travel times, proximity notes. A printed city map with circles drawn in blue pen around specific neighborhoods, each one annotated in his small precise script.
She crosses to the table slowly. Picks up the map without sitting down.
good school district, one circle reads, in his handwriting, in blue pen, drawn around a neighborhood she knows is twenty minutes from both their family homes.
park nearby. the circle next to it.
close to hospital, the third one.
She sets the map down.
Looks at him.
He looks back — unhurried, prepared, a man who has known this moment was coming and has had time to decide how he wants to inhabit it.
"We've been living together for months," he says, before she can speak. "You said yes when I needed somewhere to stay and then I just... stayed. Which isn't the same as deciding. We're going to have a baby. We graduated. It makes sense to find something that's actually ours." He turns the laptop toward her so she can see the listings more clearly. "I was looking at two-bedrooms mostly. But there's a three-bedroom—" he pulls up the tab "—good light. Room for a nursery and an office. Building is quiet. Near that park."
She stares at the screen. She stares at the map. She stares at the note on the page that says good school district in his handwriting, which means he was thinking about school districts, which means this goes further than apartment hunting, which means—
She looks down.
The notebook is under the edge of the laptop. Just the corner of it — slim black cover, edges worn soft, peeking out like it slipped during all the papers and maps and lists. She wouldn't have seen it if she hadn't been looking at the table in this specific way, standing at this specific angle.
She wouldn't have seen it.
But she does.
And he reaches for it — one small reflexive motion, hand moving toward it before he stops himself, before he makes himself go still.
She looks at his hand.
Looks at the notebook.
Looks at his face.
"What is that," she says.
He is perfectly still.
"Soobin." Her voice is quiet. Careful. The voice she uses when she already knows the answer and is giving him the chance to be the one to say it. "What is that."
He doesn't try to hide it.
That is the thing she keeps coming back to — when she reaches across the table and slides it out from under the laptop, he doesn't stop her. Doesn't move at all. Just sits with his hands flat on the table and watches her face with the complete, careful attention of a man who has catalogued every expression she makes and has prepared for most of them and is not sure, for the first time in a long time, whether he has prepared for this one.
She opens it.
His handwriting. Obviously. She'd know it anywhere — small, slanted, precise, every letter formed like it means something. She starts at the beginning because she always starts at the beginning. She needs the full shape of a thing.
The first entries are old. Months old. Some from before the party, before the snow trip, before any of it.
She hates olives. coffee iced even in winter. don't play that song — it makes her sad.
rubs her left temple when the coffee's too strong. prefers the left side of the couch — better view of the window.
She keeps reading.
ovulation window opens thursday. she has seminar until 6. dinner ready. let it happen naturally. it always happens naturally.
She stops.
Reads it again.
Her hands are very still on the pages. She can feel her own heartbeat in her fingertips. She turns the page.
don't rush. she needs to choose me.
speed up the plan. today.
she stopped at the baby clothes for four minutes. she didn't notice me counting. something shifted in her — I felt it. time to move faster.
talk to her mother about the storm forecast longer than necessary. she can't ask him to leave in that weather. she won't.
vitamins swapped week three. she hasn't noticed.
She looks up from the page.
He meets her eyes. Doesn't look away.
She looks back down.
beomgyu doesn't have girls over. he goes to them. she doesn't know that.
she said I don't know what I'd do without you when I fixed her laptop. she said it like it was nothing. it's everything. it's the whole point.
She keeps reading. She reads every page. She reads it the way you read something you know is going to change things — slowly, because speed won't help, because the point is not to finish but to understand.
The entries are not cruel.
That is the thing she keeps being caught on — they are not cruel. They are calculating and deliberate and yes, laid out in his handwriting like a blueprint she was never supposed to see — but they are not cruel. Because running alongside the strategy, threaded through every entry the same way his pinky finds hers in crowds, are the other things:
she laughs more when she eats strawberries. buy them thursday.
she was nervous before the seminar. she didn't say so. she braided and unbraided the same piece of hair four times. she's okay. she just needs someone to not make it a big deal.
she trusts me. completely. I don't know if I deserve it. I know I'm not going to stop.
she looked at me last night like she was about to say something. she didn't. I'm going to give her more time.
She closes the notebook.
Sets it on the table.
Looks at him for a long time.
His expression is the thing she keeps trying to read — waiting for the calculation, the composed certainty she'd expect from someone who kept a record like this. Instead she finds what she's been seeing more of lately and still isn't fully prepared for: fear. The real kind. The kind that doesn't have a plan behind it.
"How long," she says.
"The notebook — before the party. The period app — September. The vitamins—" he pauses "—January."
January. She takes the vitamins he sets out every morning in January. She has not once checked the label.
"And the baby," she says. The sentence she has been building toward. "Was it an accident."
The apartment is very quiet. Lia's dying succulent on the windowsill. His handwriting on the grocery list on the fridge. His running shoes by the door beside hers.
"I wasn't careful," he says. "And I knew what that could mean. And I didn't stop."
"That's not an accident."
"No," he says quietly. "It isn't."
She nods. Very slow. Her hands are folded in her lap and she is very calm in the way that comes after something enormous, when the body has no panic left and only clarity remains.
"You planned all of it," she says. Not a question.
"Yes."
"The snow trip. The storm. Beomgyu's girls. The vitamins. The condoms." She says each word clean and separate. "All of it."
"Yes."
"You were never gay."
"No."
"You let me believe it for years."
"Yes."
She looks at the notebook on the table between them. Looks at the map with its blue circles. Looks at the laptop with the three-bedroom listing — good light, room for a nursery — and the park nearby and the good school district and the proximity to the hospital.
She thinks: he has been building this for years. She thinks: I have been living inside the house he built without seeing the walls. She thinks: I am pregnant and the father planned it and I am sitting here and I cannot locate the thing inside me that is supposed to be furious and only can find things that are warmer and more complicated and much harder to act on.
"Why are you not apologizing," she says.
"Because I'm not sorry for loving you," he says. "I'm sorry I was too afraid to just say it. Too afraid you'd pull away if you knew I wanted more than you'd decided I was allowed to want. I should have told you years ago. I'm sorry for that." He holds her gaze — steady, open, stripped of everything careful for once. "I'm not sorry for being here. I'm not sorry for the baby. I'm not sorry for any of the things I did to take care of you — those were real. Every one of them was real."
"The notebook is real too," she says.
"Yes," he says. "That's real too."
She stands up. Crosses to the window. Looks at the campus below — students passing, ordinary morning, the world continuing without awareness of the conversation happening in this apartment. She stands there long enough that she hears him stand behind her, hears him cross the room, feels him stop a careful distance back — not reaching, not closing the gap, just present, the way he is always present, the patient orbit of a planet that has been circling the same sun for years.
"My father," she says to the window. "He's going to—" she stops. Her father's voice in her head, the formal disappointed register. "He's going to have a lot to say."
"I know," Soobin says behind her. "I'll be there when you tell him."
She almost laughs. "Of course you will."
She turns around. He's right there — close but not crowding, giving her exactly the amount of space she needs, because he always gives her exactly the amount of space she needs, because he has studied her preferences with the precision of someone who has been in love for four years and has no intention of making a mistake at the finish line.
She looks at his face.
She looks at the notebook on the table.
She looks at the laptop with the three-bedroom and the good light.
"Show me the apartment," she says.
He goes absolutely still.
"The three-bedroom," she says. "The one with the park nearby."
He crosses to the laptop — and his hands, she notices, are not entirely steady when he pulls up the listing. She files that away. Holds it close. The unsteady hands are the most honest thing in this room.
She sits beside him at the table and looks at the apartment on the screen — high ceilings, good light, a room that could be anything — and feels the anger and the love and the complicated truth of two people who have been building something together without both of them knowing it.
"We need to talk about all of it," she says quietly. "The real talk. Not just the apartment. Everything in that notebook. What trust looks like going forward. What you owe me and what I'm willing to accept." She looks at him. "And I need you to understand that finding this—" she touches the notebook cover "—when I'm already terrified and pregnant and haven't called my father yet — it's a lot."
"I know," he says. "I know it is."
"But I'm still here," she says.
He looks at her. Really looks.
"I know," he says, softer this time. Like a man receiving something he wasn't sure he'd earned.
She turns back to the screen. Looks at the apartment. The park. The school district circled in blue pen.
"Tell me about the park," she says.
And he does.
She calls her mother first.
From the bedroom, door closed, Soobin in the kitchen making the ginger tea he's been making every morning for three days now, the sounds of him moving through the apartment she shares with Lia — Lia who is eight hours away in a hospital waiting room texting her updates about her mother's recovery, Lia who said when she called last week you sound different, you sound like someone who's figured something out, which she denied and which was not entirely a lie and not entirely the truth either.
Her mother answers on the third ring, warm and slightly breathless.
"Hey, baby. I was just thinking about you—"
"Mom." She stops. "I have something to tell you."
The particular silence of a mother calibrating. Then, soft: "Okay."
"I'm pregnant."
A pause — not shock, not panic — a long exhale that sounds like the releasing of something held tightly for a long time. "Oh, sweetheart."
"I know."
"How far?"
"Early. Just weeks."
"And Soobin."
She closes her eyes. "How did you know it was Soobin."
Her mother makes a sound — gentle, wry, the sound of a woman who has known something for years and has been waiting with extraordinary patience for the rest of the world to catch up. "I've known since you were both eighteen and you fell asleep on his shoulder at Christmas dinner and he didn't move for four hours because he didn't want to wake you." A pause. "I've been waiting a long time for you two to figure it out."
She laughs — short, wet. "Mom."
"Is he there?"
"In the kitchen."
"Of course he is." Unmistakable warmth. Then: "And you're keeping it."
Not a question. Her mother has always known her better than she knows herself, which is a quality she is beginning to recognize in more people in her life than she previously accounted for.
"Yes," she says. "We're keeping it."
Her mother is quiet for a moment. Then: "Your father will be difficult. He'll make it about propriety and expectations and what the family looks like from the outside. And then he'll hold his grandchild for the first time and forget every word of it." She pauses. "Soobin's a good man. I saw how he looked at you at that Christmas dinner. Knew then."
She wipes her face with the back of her wrist. "You never said anything."
"You weren't ready to hear it," her mother says simply. "Now you are."
She calls her father from the couch. Soobin sits beside her — not close enough to crowd, just there, the solid warm fact of him, his hand resting near hers on the cushion without touching.
Her father answers on the second ring.
The conversation is exactly what she expected — his voice going formal and careful, the specific silence of a man reorganizing something enormous inside himself, the pointed questions about plans and stability and what this means for her career trajectory and whether she has thought about — yes, she has thought about it, she's thought about little else for three days, yes he's staying, yes he has a position, yes they're looking at apartments, yes she's finishing what she needs to finish.
There is a long silence near the end.
"He was at the graduation dinner," her father says finally.
"Yes."
"He answered my questions well."
She glances at Soobin. Soobin does not react, which is its own kind of reaction. "Yes."
"I want a proper conversation with him," her father says. "Not at a restaurant. In person. At home."
"Okay."
Another pause. Then, rough at the edges — her father's version of undone: "I love you. We'll figure the rest out."
She hangs up. Sits for a moment. Lets out the breath she's been holding since she dialed.
Soobin's hand finds hers on the cushion.
"Well?" he says quietly.
"He wants to meet with you. Properly. He said you answered his questions well at the dinner." She looks at him. "You knew he was going to ask you things at that dinner."
"Yes," he says.
"You prepared."
"Yes."
She nods slowly. "Of course you did."
His thumb moves — one slow circle on the back of her hand. She doesn't pull away.
"I know this is a lot," he says. "I know it's—"
"It's a lot," she agrees. "And we're going to have a very long conversation about all of it. About the notebook and the vitamins and what honesty looks like going forward. I'm not — I'm not pretending none of that happened." She looks at him. "But I'm also not leaving. And I'm keeping the baby. And I want to see the three-bedroom." She squeezes his hand once, brief. "That's all I know tonight."
He looks at her for a long moment. Something settles in him — she can see it, the slow exhale of a man who has been bracing for an impact that landed differently than expected.
"Okay," he says. Quiet and real. "That's enough."
That night she wakes at 2am and can't go back to sleep.
Soobin is behind her — arm over her waist, breathing slow and even, the particular weight of him that she has gotten so used to that the nights he isn't there have started feeling like something missing rather than something normal. She lies still and stares at the wall of her room — the room she shares with Lia, who is getting better at her mother's bedside eight hours away, who texted today: mom had a good day. also you're going to tell me everything when I'm back and I mean everything.
She thinks about everything.
The notebook. The blue pen circles on the map. The vitamins she took every morning without checking. The condoms she stopped tracking because he said he'd handle it and she trusted him the way she trusts weather — not because it's infallible but because fighting it has never been a useful response.
She thinks about four years of him. Every braided hair. Every 2am ramyeon delivery. Every time he fixed a problem before she'd finished naming it, every careful touch that she filed under safe because the label she'd given him made safe the only category available. She thinks about a man who has been in love with her since they were nineteen and expressed it in the only language he trusted — action, proximity, permanence — because words without a plan behind them felt too risky to say.
She thinks about herself too. The times she called him when she wasn't really in crisis, just lonely. The times she let him carry things she could have carried herself because it was easier and she liked being held. The times she wore his hoodies not because she was cold but because she liked how it felt to smell like him all day and she let herself believe that was a thing without consequences. She thinks about Lia saying he's doing a lot for you and her saying he doesn't mind, he likes it, and Lia saying that's not what I asked and her changing the subject.
She has not been a passive participant in what they've built.
She has just been less aware of what she was building.
She turns over. Faces him.
He's asleep — face soft the way it gets in sleep, the careful composure of his waking hours gentled down to something younger. She looks at him for a long time in the dark. The man who tracked her cycle and planned a snowstorm and swapped her vitamins and built a floor under her feet so quietly she forgot there was ever anything else.
The man who didn't move for four hours at Christmas so he wouldn't wake her up.
The man who, somewhere in that notebook, wrote: she trusts me completely. I don't know if I deserve it.
She reaches out and puts her hand over his where it rests on the pillow between them. His fingers curl instinctively around hers even in sleep — automatic, reflexive, the body knowing what it wants before the mind catches up.
She thinks: this is real. All of it — the plan and the love and the manipulation and the four years — all of it is real, and real things are complicated, and complicated things are not the same as wrong, and she is going to have to spend a long time figuring out where exactly the line is between what she forgives and what she holds onto as important.
She also thinks: he is going to be an extraordinary father. She knows this the way she knows the left side of the couch is hers — not because anyone decided it, just because it became true.
She closes her eyes.
In the morning there will be ginger tea and an apartment listing and a call to schedule with her father and a very long conversation she owes both of them. There will be decisions and complications and the ongoing project of figuring out who she is in a life she didn't entirely choose and didn't entirely not choose.
But right now it is 2am and his hand is around hers and the room smells like cedar and something faintly warm and familiar and she is tired and pregnant and has found out more truth in one day than she can fully process and she is going to sleep.
She is going to sleep and in the morning things will still be complicated and she will still be here.
That's enough for tonight.
That is, she thinks, as her breathing slows and the dark closes in warm around her — enough.
౨ৎ prev ✧ next — 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑒𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉: 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝑒𝓈𝓉
౨ৎ tag open: @black-startxt @buttersoob @idkguyslma @toru-saki @amelie-sama-blog @binniesbabe @ravenslocked @usuallyunlikelyfox @whoreforjongho
🩷 𝓊𝓅𝒹𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓅𝒾𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓀𝑒𝓈
𝓌𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓇𝓃𝑒𝓇 ♡
✧ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑔𝑒𝓉𝓈 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 → [𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒]
✧𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 → [𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒]
✧ 𝓊𝓅𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒿𝑒𝒸𝓉𝓈 → [𝓈𝑜𝑜𝓃]
୨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 ˖ ݁ ୨ৎ → [𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒𝓉𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉]
𝓊𝓅𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓃𝓰 ꒰ა𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒲𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝒞𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇-𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓂໒꒱ 𝒸𝒽𝑜𝒾 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝒷𝒾𝓃 × 𝒻𝑒𝓂!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 ໒꒱ Hogwarts AU
ꔫ Something like you ꔫ
pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader
After moving into a new apartment, you (a pediatric doctor) get pulled into your neighbor Jungkook’s life when his toddler daughter Ellie gets sick late at night. Jungkook immediately recognizes you as his gentle ex from years ago, while it takes you longer to see past the tattoos and the strong single-dad version of the boy you once dated. What begins as helping with a fever slowly turns into shared meals, park walks, late-night talks, and quiet domestic moments. Ellie quickly becomes attached, reaching for you first and even calling you by name. As the days pass, you and Jungkook fall back into each other — this time slower, deeper, and far more intentional. The love is mature, sensual, and so easy it feels almost scary. Even when your ex Yeonjun reappears hoping for another chance, your heart already knows where it belongs: across the landing, with a man who refuses to let you go again and a little girl who chose you from the very first night.
ꔫ genre: exes to strangers to lovers · single dad au · fluff · angst · smut · found family · slow burn
ꔫ warnings: explicit sexual content, smut, penetrative sex, oral sex, fingering, praise, soft dom, strong language, past family loss/grief, single guardian, child illness, light jealousy, found family, toddler being irresistibly cute
ꔫ author’s note: she makes it so easy to fall, he thinks. And this time they’re not rushing; they’re choosing. (The continuation story featuring Yeonjun will be posted separately soon.)
ꔫ song: From The Start — Laufey
You’ve been here two weeks and the place still smells like fresh paint and the green iced tea you keep in the fridge—extra lemon, always, because anything less feels like a betrayal.
You’re left-handed, so the smudges on the canvas propped against the living-room wall are exactly where they should be. It’s a half-finished night scene: streetlights blurred by rain, the kind of nostalgic blur you chase when the hospital pager isn’t screaming. You hum along to an old Olivia Dean track playing low from your phone, the one that always makes you feel a little too much. I could be the twist, the one to make you stop…
Your eyes are heavy. The kind of sleepy that comes after a twelve-hour shift and too much chocolate from the corner store. You love that sleepy feeling—it’s honest. You used to be louder, brighter, a little chaotic when happiness hit. Now you’re calmer, steadier. But when the rare free evening stretches out and the music is right, that old crazy-happy version of you still peeks out, dancing alone in socks across the wooden floor like no one’s watching.
You’re wiping a streak of blue from your left thumb when the knock comes.
Not the polite daytime knock, no this one is urgent, three sharp raps that cut straight through the rain and the song.
You glance at the clock—12:17 a.m. Your hair is twisted up in a messy knot, paint on your oversized sweater, bare feet cold on the floor. You open the door anyway.
The man standing there is tall, shoulders filling the frame, black hoodie damp from the rain. Raindrops cling to dark hair that falls across his forehead. His arms are crossed tight like he’s holding something back, and the ink peeking from his sleeves—full sleeves, bold lines, no hesitation—catches the hallway light. He looks strong. Solid. Nothing like the boy you remember from seven years ago.
But his eyes.
Those eyes hit you first. Wide, dark, frantic.
“Hi,” he says, voice low and rough. “I’m sorry—it’s late. I wouldn’t… I heard rumors. The new neighbor in 5D is a kids’ doctor?”
You nod once, professional even at midnight. “Pediatric resident, yeah. What’s wrong?”
He exhales like the words have been choking him. “My daughter. Ellie. She’s two and a half. The fever started fast—really fast. She’s burning up, coughing and won’t settle. I gave her the usual stuff but it’s not coming down and I—” His jaw flexes. “I’m across the landing. 5C. I know it’s late but I didn’t know who else—”
Something in the way he says Ellie tugs at a memory you can’t quite place yet. You grab your bag from the hook by the door—stethoscope, thermometer, the small kit you always keep ready. “Let me get shoes. Two minutes.”
He waits in the hallway, shifting his weight, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. You notice the tattoos again—delicate script on one wrist, something bolder climbing toward his elbow. Strong. Changed. Not the lanky twenty-year-old who used to laugh quietly at your bad jokes.
You step out, lock the door, and follow him across the landing. The hallway light flickers once.
Inside 5C the apartment is warm but tense. A small night-light shaped like a cloud glows in the corner. Toys are scattered in neat baskets—someone keeps order even when the world tilts. On the couch, under a soft blanket, is Ellie.
She’s tiny, cheeks flushed bright red, dark lashes fluttering against fevered skin. Her breathing is too fast, a little raspy. She clutches a stuffed bear like it’s the only steady thing left.
You kneel beside her immediately, left hand gentle on her forehead. Hot. Too hot. “Hey, sweet girl,” you murmur, voice soft the way it always gets with little patients. “I’m here to help, okay?”
Ellie’s eyes open—big, glassy, the same shape as the man hovering behind you. She doesn’t cry. Just watches you with that quiet toddler trust that breaks hearts.
You work fast but calm: temperature, ears, throat, lungs. “103.8. Sounds like an ear infection brewing on top of a virus. We need to bring this fever down safely.” You glance up at him. “Do you have children’s ibuprofen? Cool cloths? I can walk you through—”
He’s already moving, handing you the medicine bottle like he’s been holding it ready for hours. His hands are steady but his eyes are raw. “She’s never been this sick before. Not like this.”
You dose her carefully, help him cool her with damp cloths. Ellie leans into your touch without hesitation, small fingers curling around your left wrist like she’s claiming it. The calm version of you stays in control, but something warmer flickers underneath— that old crazy-happy spark, quiet for now, but awake.
Ten minutes later the fever starts its slow drop. Ellie’s breathing evens out. She drifts, still holding your wrist.
Only then do you really look at him again.
He’s crouched on the other side of the couch, elbows on knees, watching you both. The tattoos, the broader chest, the jawline sharpened by years—you tilt your head.
Something clicks. Slow. Like a song you haven’t heard since you were eighteen.
“Wait…” Your voice is barely above a whisper. “Jungkook?”
His eyes meet yours and the relief in them is immediate, almost painful. He knew the second he saw you in the doorway. “Yeah,” he says, quiet. “It’s me.”
You sit back on your heels. The boy you dated for one soft, sunlit year at the very end of your teens—the one who used to trace invisible patterns on your palm and say he was always calculating how to make you smile—is now this man. Inked. Strong. Carrying the weight of a sick toddler and a life that clearly didn’t go easy.
He rubs a hand over his face. “I recognized you the day you moved in. The way you hum when you’re unlocking your door... I didn’t say anything because… well, it’s been seven years. And Ellie was already sick yesterday. I figured I’d just… stay out of your way.” A small, tired smile. “Then tonight happened.”
Ellie makes a soft sound in her sleep, fingers tightening on your wrist.
You swallow. Nostalgia hits like the rain outside, steady, impossible to ignore. “You look… different. Good different. Stronger.”
He shrugs one shoulder, but his gaze stays on you. “Life does that. You look the same. Still sleepy-eyed. Still beautiful.” The last part slips out like he couldn’t stop it. He clears his throat. “Thank you. For coming. I didn’t know who else—”
“You don’t have to explain,” you say, calm again, but your heart is doing something complicated. “I’m glad I was here.”
The rain keeps tapping. Olivia Dean is still playing faintly from your apartment across the landing, the chorus drifting through the cracked door you left open. ’Cause I make it so easy to fall in love…
Jungkook hears it too. His eyes flick toward the sound, then back to you. Something soft and wondering crosses his face.
You close your apartment door behind you with a soft click that sounds way too loud in the quiet hallway. The rain is still going, softer now, like it’s decided to mind its own business. Your sweater smells faintly like Jungkook’s apartment—warm laundry and that faint baby-powder scent that clings to sick toddlers. You lean your back against the wood for a second, bag sliding down your arm to the floor with a dull thud.
“What the hell just happened?” you mutter to the empty room.
Your voice comes out half-laugh, half-groan. You drag a hand down your face, left thumb still smudged with blue paint, and shuffle straight to the fridge. The green iced tea is waiting—extra lemon, the slices floating like little life rafts. You take a long sip straight from the bottle because glasses feel like too much effort right now. The cold hits your teeth and wakes you up just enough to laugh again, this time properly.
Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. With tattoos. And shoulders. And a daughter.
You sink onto the couch, the half-finished canvas staring at you like it knows you’re distracted. Seven years. You were eighteen and he was twenty, the kind of young where love felt like staying up until 3 a.m. sharing earbuds and laughing at nothing. Gentle. Easy in that teenage-end-of-adulthood way. It ended because life pulled you in different directions,your scholarship, his family stuff, both of you too soft and too scared to fight for it. No drama, no scars. Just… faded.
And now he has a kid.
Ellie.
You stare at the ceiling, tea bottle cold against your chest. “He has a daughter now,” you say out loud, testing how it sounds. It sounds ridiculous. And kind of… nice? No. Weird. Definitely weird. “Guess he got married. Or… something. People do that. Grow up. Have babies. Get tattoos that look really good—wait, no, brain, stop.”
A snort escapes you. You’re tired, nostalgic, and a little bit giddy in that confusing post-midnight way. The calm version of you wants to file this away neatly: helpful neighbor moment, done. The old crazy-happy part—the one that used to blast music and dance in socks—is already replaying the way his voice dropped when he said “You look the same. Still beautiful.”
You groan and reach for the half-eaten chocolate bar on the coffee table. Dark chocolate with caramel swirls. “You win some and you lose some,” you tell the chocolate like it’s your therapist. “He’s probably married. Or has a partner. Hot single dad with a sick kid at midnight? That’s someone’s whole fantasy. Not mine. I have shifts and paint and this tea that cost too much. Moving on.”
You take a big bite. The caramel sticks to your teeth. Nostalgia hits harder than expected—memories of him tracing patterns on your palm, calling you “lefty” in that soft voice, the way he used to hum along to whatever song you played even if he didn’t know the words. He looked different tonight. Stronger. Like life had pressed on him and he pressed back. The tattoos suited him. Made him look… safe. Capable. The kind of man who’d knock on a stranger’s door at midnight because his baby was sick.
You shake your head, laughing quietly at yourself. “Get it together. You’re a doctor. You helped a kid. That’s it. Tomorrow you’ll probably never see him again except awkward hallway nods.”
But your left wrist still feels warm where Ellie held it. And the song from earlier is stuck in your head, you hum a few bars, off-key on purpose, then switch to something louder and sillier just to shake the feeling. You end up dancing a little in the middle of the living room, socks slipping on the floor, chocolate in one hand, iced tea in the other, laughing because this is ridiculous and your heart is doing stupid fluttery things it has no business doing.
Eventually you collapse into bed, paint still on your hands, mind a messy swirl of fever checks, dark eyes, and the quiet fear in Jungkook’s voice when he talked about Ellie. Sleep comes fast, but it’s full of half-dreams: small hands, rain on windows, and a man who used to be a boy looking at you like seven years hadn’t happened at all.
The next day is a long shift—crying babies, worried parents, the usual chaos that keeps your hands busy and your mind mostly focused. Mostly. Every quiet moment your brain wanders back to 5C. Ellie’s flushed cheeks. Jungkook’s tired shoulders. The way he said your name like it still fit in his mouth.
By the time you get home it’s past nine at night. Your feet hurt. Your scrubs smell like hospital. You stopped at the 24-hour pharmacy on the way, picking up a bottle of children’s fever medicine, the good kind, the one with the little syringe for accurate dosing. You also grabbed a small pack of those honey-lemon cough drops that are gentle on tiny throats. Practical. Neighborly. Not because you couldn’t stop thinking about them. Definitely not.
You stand in front of 5C for a long minute, bag in hand, debating. Just leave it. Knock? No knock. Knocking feels like opening a door you’re not sure you want open. Leaving it feels… safe. Polite.
You crouch down, left hand steady, and set the small paper bag right against his door. A quick note on the back of a pharmacy receipt: For Ellie — fever reducer + gentle cough drops. Dose is on the box. Hope she’s feeling better. — 5D
You straighten up, brush your hands on your scrubs, and whisper to the door like an idiot, “Night, little one. Get better.”
Then you slip back into your apt, lock the door, and immediately go for the chocolate again. One square. Two. The green iced tea joins you on the couch while you put on the same song, volume low. You stare at the half-finished painting and try not to smile at how your heart feels lighter than it should after a twelve-hour shift.
“He has a daughter,” you remind yourself again, softer this time. “Probably married. Or dating someone really lucky. You’re just the nice doctor neighbor now.”
But the thought doesn’t land as heavy as it did last night. Instead it feels… curious and warm.
Two days slip by in a quiet haze of shifts, half-finished canvases, and the familiar comfort of green iced tea. You keep the volume low while you paint, the lyrics wrapping around thoughts you refuse to examine too closely.
You don’t see them. You tell yourself that’s fine. Normal, even.
Until the afternoon you decide you need new painting supplies.
The little art store two blocks from the building is your happy place—shelves of brushes, tubes of color that smell like possibility, the kind of calm that makes the hospital feel far away. You load your basket with cadmium yellow, a new set of brushes, and a heavy pad of thick watercolor paper that costs more than it should. By the time you step outside, the bag is digging into your left shoulder, your right hand balancing another smaller one. The sky is gray but not raining yet. Your stomach growls once, reminding you that skipping meals for extra sleep or a long bath is a habit that’s catching up to you.
You’re adjusting the strap when a voice comes from behind, low and familiar.
“Here—let me take that before it snaps your arm off.”
A hand reaches past you, gentle but sure, lifting the heavy bag from your shoulder. You turn, startled, and there he is.
Jungkook.
He looks different in daylight—black t-shirt stretched across broader shoulders, tattoos fully visible now, curling up both arms in bold, deliberate lines. A small silver chain rests against his collarbone. His hair is slightly messy, like he ran his hands through it too many times. In his other hand he holds a small shopping bag of his own—probably something for Ellie.
He offers a small, almost shy smile. “Hey. 5D.”
You blink, the weight gone from your shoulder leaving you oddly lighter. “Jungkook. Hi.”
“I saw you from across the street. That bag looked like it was winning.” He nods toward the art store. “Painting stuff?”
“Yeah. Watercolors. I… paint a little when I have time. Which isn’t often.” You rub your left shoulder absently, still processing how easily he just stepped in. “Thanks for the rescue. I always overestimate how much I can carry when I’m in there.”
He chuckles, the sound warm and low, nothing like the frantic tone from two nights ago. “No problem. Least I can do after you showed up at midnight like some kind of miracle doctor.” His eyes meet yours, direct and sincere. “Ellie’s doing a lot better. The medicine you left helped bring the fever down faster. She slept through the night. I… I can’t thank you enough. Really.”
You feel heat creep up your neck, a mix of professional pride and something softer. “I’m glad. Ear infections can sneak up fast on little ones. How’s she been since?”
“Grumpy but eating again. She keeps asking for the ‘nice lady with cold hands.’” He shifts the heavy bag to his other hand like it weighs nothing. “She’s two and a half going on thirty. Already has opinions about everything.”
You laugh despite yourself, the sound lighter than you expected. “Sounds about right for that age. They’re tiny dictators with the best hearts.”
There’s a small pause, comfortable but charged. People walk past on the sidewalk, carrying their own bags, living their own afternoons. Jungkook glances toward a restaurant just down the block—a cozy place with big windows and outdoor tables, the kind that always smells like fresh bread and herbs. The sign says “Luna’s Table” and you’ve heard coworkers rave about their food being stupidly good.
He clears his throat. “Look, I know it’s sudden, but… would you let me buy you lunch? As a proper thank you. They have crazy good pasta and salads here. Nothing fancy, but it’s honest food. My treat. You helped my daughter when I was losing my mind, It’s the least I can do.”
You hesitate, mouth opening on instinct to say no. You’re one of those people who would rather sink into a hot bath with music playing or steal an extra hour of sleep than sit down for a proper meal when time is tight. Your shift starts in a couple of hours. You already planned to skip lunch, maybe grab something quick later if you remembered.
But then Ellie’s voice cuts through the moment.
From behind Jungkook’s leg, a small head peeks out. She must have been standing there quietly the whole time, holding onto his jeans with one hand, her stuffed bear dangling from the other. Her cheeks are still a little pink from the leftover fever, but her eyes are bright and focused—on you.
“Nice lady,” she says, clear and serious for such a tiny person. She tugs Jungkook’s hand once. “Lunch. With nice lady.”
Jungkook looks down at her, surprised but softening instantly. “Ellie-ya, we don’t have to—”
She nods like the decision is already made, then looks straight at you with those big, trusting eyes. “Please? Appa says you make fevers go away. You come eat too.”
The words hit like a gentle nudge from the universe. You glance at the time on your phone. You do need to eat something real before the shift or you’ll be running on fumes and chocolate again. Saying no to a sick toddler who just asked so politely feels… impossible. Like it was written that you’d end up here.
You exhale a soft laugh, shaking your head at the absurdity and the warmth blooming in your chest. “Well… if Ellie’s asking, how can I say no? Lunch sounds good. But only if it’s quick—I have a shift starting soon and I’m terrible at remembering to eat when I get busy.”
Jungkook’s face lights up with quiet relief, the kind that makes the tattoos and the strong frame seem less intimidating and more… human. “Quick it is. Promise. And thank you. Again.”
The three of you walk the short distance to Luna’s Table. Jungkook carries your heavy bag without complaint, Ellie holding his free hand and occasionally glancing back at you like she’s making sure you’re still there. Inside, the restaurant is warm and inviting—wooden tables, soft lighting, the smell of garlic and fresh basil wrapping around you like a hug.
You slide into a booth across from him. Ellie climbs up beside her dad, bear in her lap, watching you with open curiosity.
Jungkook hands you a menu. “Their carbonara is ridiculous. Or the lemon chicken if you want something lighter. Whatever you want.”
You order the lemon chicken—something bright and easy—while he gets pasta for himself and a small kid’s portion of plain noodles with butter for Ellie. Conversation starts slow but flows easier than you expected.
“So… painting,” he says, nodding toward the bag he set beside the table. “You always had that creative side. I remember you doodling on napkins during lectures.”
You smile, a nostalgic flicker warming your cheeks. “Still do. It’s my way of unwinding. Hospital days can get heavy. What about you? Those tattoos are new. They suit you.”
He glances down at his arms, flexing one hand almost self-consciously. “Got them over the last few years. Each one means something. Life… got complicated after we lost touch. But they remind me I can carry things and still keep going.”
You nod, understanding more than you let on. The food arrives quickly. Ellie pokes at her noodles with a fork that’s too big for her, but she eats steadily, occasionally offering a piece of buttered noodle to her bear.
Jungkook watches you for a moment, then says quietly, “I didn’t expect to run into you like this. Or at all. But I’m glad. Really glad.”
You take a bite of the lemon chicken, and feel that pull again. The mature version of whatever you once had. Not the light teenage rush. Something deeper. Steadier. Like two adults who know how heavy life can get, but sitting here makes it feel lighter.
Ellie suddenly pushes a noodle toward you on her fork. “Try. Good.”
You lean in and take the bite she offers, making an exaggerated happy sound that makes her giggle. The sound is small but bright, cutting through the restaurant noise.
Jungkook’s eyes soften as he watches the exchange. “She doesn’t do that with just anyone.”
The meal passes too quickly—easy talk about shifts, his work from home in tech, how Ellie loves watching rain on the window.
When it’s time to go, Jungkook insists on paying, then carries your supplies all the way back to the building. Ellie waves at you with both hands as they head toward 5C.
You step into 5D, heart doing that confusing, fluttering thing again. Lunch. With your ex from seven years ago and his daughter. Because a toddler asked.
You laugh to yourself, already reaching for the iced tea, again.“This is getting ridiculous.”
But the smile stays longer than it should.
And for the first time in a long while, skipping a relaxing bath doesn’t feel like a sacrifice.
The lunch lingers in your mind longer than it should.
Not the food—though the lemon chicken really was stupidly good—but the way Jungkook carried your heavy supplies without making a big deal out of it. The easy way he listened when you mentioned a tough case from your shift last week. How Ellie kept sneaking glances at you over her noodles, like she was quietly adding you to her small list of important things.
You tell yourself it’s just nostalgia doing its thing, justlike... like old connections resurfacing because of a midnight fever scare and a random sidewalk meeting. Nothing more.
But two evenings later, you’re proven wrong again.
You come home from your shift exhausted, the kind of tired that makes your hand feel clumsy when you try to unlock your door, and all you want is a long, hot bath with music playing low and maybe one square of chocolate before sleep claims you. You’re already picturing it—steam, JVKE humming through the speaker, the calm version of you finally winning the day.
Then you hear it.
Soft crying from across the landing. is not dramatic, just the small, hiccuping sound of a toddler who’s had enough.
You pause, key halfway in the lock. The crying stops for a second, then starts again, quieter. A man’s voice murmurs something soothing—Jungkook. You can’t make out the words, but the tone is tired, patient, edged with worry.
Before you can talk yourself out of it, you cross the landing and knock lightly on 5C.
The door opens almost immediately. Jungkook looks wrecked in the softest way—hair messy, t-shirt rumpled, one shoulder of it stained with what might be spit-up or tears. Ellie is in his arms, face buried in his neck, her small body still shaking with leftover sobs. Her eyes are puffy, nose running, and she’s clutching her bear like it’s the only thing keeping her together.
“Hey,” he says, voice rough. “Sorry if we’re loud. She’s been… off since the fever. Teething on top of everything, I think. Nothing’s working tonight.”
You don’t hesitate. “Can I come in for a minute?”
He steps aside without question.
Inside, the apartment is dimly lit, the cloud night-light glowing again. You set your bag down and wash your hands quickly in the kitchen sink out of habit. Ellie peeks at you from Jungkook’s shoulder, her crying slowing to sniffles when she recognizes you.
“Nice lady,” she mumbles, reaching one small hand toward you.
Your chest does something complicated. You take her hand gently, left thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Hi, Ellie. Rough night?”
She nods solemnly, then holds her bear out to you like an offering. “Bori sad too.”
You take the bear with both hands—your left one steady as always—and press a soft kiss to its worn head, the way you’ve learned little kids sometimes need. “There. Bori feels better now. See?”
Ellie watches with wide eyes, then leans forward, arms out. Jungkook transfers her to you without a word, and suddenly you’re holding a warm, sniffly toddler who tucks her face into your neck like she belongs there. She smells like baby shampoo and faint medicine.
Jungkook rubs the back of his neck, watching the two of you. “You’re good at this. Really good. I’ve read every book and I still feel like I’m guessing half the time.”
You sway gently with Ellie, the motion automatic from years of pediatric work. “Books help, but sometimes they just need to feel safe. She’s had a lot this week—fever, new teeth, new neighbor showing up at midnight.” You smile softly. “She’s allowed to be overwhelmed.”
He exhales a quiet laugh. “Yeah. We both are.”
Ellie’s sobs taper off completely as you hum a low, wordless tune—the same melody that’s been stuck in your head for days. She relaxes against you, small fingers playing with the collar of your scrubs. The calm version of you stays steady, but that old spark of crazy-happy flickers again, quiet joy at how easily she trusts.
Jungkook leans against the counter, arms crossed, tattoos shifting with the movement. “I keep thinking about that lunch. How you said yes even though you looked like you’d rather be anywhere else. Ellie basically guilted you into it.”
“She’s very persuasive,” you say, still swaying. “And the food was worth it. I usually skip meals when I’m tired—prefer a bath or sleep. But… it was nice. Really nice.”
His eyes linger on you a beat longer than necessary. “It was. For me too.” A pause. “Listen, I know you just got home and you’re probably dead on your feet. But if you’re not in a hurry… stay for a bit? I can make you that green iced tea you seem to live on. Extra lemon. I noticed the slices when you were here the other night.”
You raise an eyebrow, surprised. “You noticed that?”
“I notice a lot of things,” he says simply, no flirtation, just honest.
The words land soft but heavy. Mature. Like he’s not playing games anymore—he’s a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to say the small truths out loud. The way life hit him hard enough to leave tattoos and tired eyes. The way you’ve both changed but somehow still fit in the quiet moments.
Ellie makes a small, contented sound against your neck, her breathing slowing.
You nod. “Tea sounds good. Just for a little while. Then I really should soak in the tub before I pass out.”
He moves around the kitchen with quiet efficiency, slicing lemons with the kind of care that says he’s used to doing things precisely. You settle on the couch with Ellie, who has gone almost completely limp, trusting you to hold her while her dad works.
When he brings the glass over—perfectly sweetened, extra lemon floating on top—he sits on the other end of the couch, giving you space but not distance. The tea is exactly right. Cold and refreshing in a way that cuts through your exhaustion.
“Thank you,” you murmur after the first sip. “For this.”
Jungkook watches you over the rim of his own water glass. and glances at Ellie, then back at you, voice lower. “I thought about you a lot after you moved in. Before the fever night. Wondered if you’d remember me. If you’d want to.”
You take another sip, the tart lemon waking you up just enough. “I did remember. Eventually. You look… different. Stronger. Like you’ve carried a lot and came out the other side.”
“I have,” he admits quietly. “Ellie’s mom—my brother’s wife—passed with him in an accident. I became her guardian overnight. It changed everything. Made me grow up fast. The tattoos… some are for them. Some are for her. Reminders that I can keep going.”
The confession sits between you, honest and raw but not heavy in a way that demands fixing. You reach over and squeeze his hand once—left hand, paint still faintly under your nails. “You’re doing it. She’s lucky to have you.”
He turns his palm up, fingers brushing yours. The touch is simple. Steady. “And now you’re here. Across the landing. Making fevers go away and letting my daughter guilt you into lunch.” A small smile. “It feels… easy. In a way I didn’t expect. Like it doesn’t have to be complicated this time.”
Your heart does a slow, deliberate flip. Not the giddy teenage rush. Something deeper. Warmer. The kind of mature pull where two people who know life isn’t always gentle still make the hard parts softer just by existing in the same space.
Ellie stirs slightly, murmuring “nice lady” in her sleep before settling again.
You don’t pull your hand away.
The tea is cold by the time you finish it. The bath can wait a little longer tonight.
Because right now, sitting on his couch with a sleeping toddler in your arms and the man you once loved looking at you like you make everything simpler, falling feels less like a risk and more like the most natural thing in the world.
Weeks pass in the gentle rhythm that only new routines can create.
Mornings start to feel different. You still wake up to the soft hum of your alarm, still reach for the green iced tea first thing—extra lemon slices always ready in the fridge—but now there’s the occasional sound of small footsteps and a low, patient voice from across the landing. Ellie has taken to “patrolling” the hallway some mornings, her bear tucked under one arm, calling out “nice lady?” in her tiny, determined voice if your door opens even a crack.
Jungkook always apologizes when he catches her, but his eyes smile more than his mouth does these days.
One Saturday morning, three weeks after the midnight fever night, you’re painting in the living room with the window cracked open. The canvas is finally coming together—a rainy street scene with warm window lights bleeding into the gray. Your left hand moves steadily, smudging just enough to feel right. Olivia plays low in the background, the same songs looping because it matches the quiet ache in your chest you can’t quite name yet.
A knock interrupts the brushstrokes.
You open the door to find Jungkook holding two paper cups and Ellie standing beside him in a bright yellow sweater, bear dangling from her fingers.
“Delivery,” he says, lifting one cup. “Green iced tea. Extra lemon. I asked the café guy to make it exactly how you like it—told him it was for the doctor who saved my daughter from a meltdown.”
Ellie holds up her own small cup with both hands. “Juice. For me.”
You laugh, the sound lighter than it’s been in days, and step aside to let them in. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” Jungkook replies simply. He sets the cups on your table, careful not to disturb the paint supplies. “Also, Ellie insisted we check if you were painting today. She’s been talking about ‘colors on paper’ since the art store.”
Ellie toddles straight to your canvas, stopping a safe distance away like she knows not to touch. She points with one small finger. “Pretty rain. Like outside.”
You crouch beside her, left hand still holding the brush. “Yeah, baby. It’s supposed to feel like the rain we had last week. Want to see how I mix the gray?”
She nods solemnly. You let her watch as you blend colors on the palette, explaining in simple words. Jungkook leans against the wall, arms crossed, tattoos shifting as he watches the two of you. There’s something soft and wondering in his expression—like he’s still getting used to how naturally you fit into their mornings.
Later, while Ellie sits on the floor carefully arranging your spare brushes by size (her new favorite game), Jungkook helps you clean a few palettes in the sink. His shoulder brushes yours once, warm and solid.
“You’re calmer than I remember,” he says quietly, not looking at you. “Back then you were all bright chaos—dancing in the dorm kitchen at 2 a.m., dragging me to late-night food stalls. Now… you seem settled. In a good way.”
You rinse a brush under the water, left hand steady. “Life taught me to slow down. Long shifts do that. But the crazy-happy part still comes out when I have time. I danced around the living room last week after a good painting session. Almost knocked over the tea.”
He smiles, the corner of his mouth lifting. “I’d like to see that sometime.”
The words hang between you, easy and heavy at the same time.
The weeks keep unfolding like that—small, overlapping moments that build without anyone forcing them.
Some evenings Jungkook knocks with leftovers because “I made too much again.” Ellie always brings her bear and insists on sitting next to you on the couch. You start keeping extra chocolate in a bowl on the table because she’s discovered she likes the caramel kind “a little bit.”
One Thursday night after your shift, you come home to find a small package outside your door: new lemon slices pre-cut in a container and a note in Jungkook’s neat handwriting. For your iced tea stash. Ellie helped pick the lemons. — 5C
You stand in the hallway smiling like an idiot, the calm version of you melting into something warmer.
Another afternoon, you run into them at the small park nearby. Ellie is on the swings, Jungkook pushing her gently. When she spots you, she demands “push with Appa!” so you end up on one side, Jungkook on the other, both of you laughing as Ellie squeals with delight. Her laughter is small and bright, cutting through the autumn air like the best kind of song.
Later, sitting on a bench while Ellie collects leaves, Jungkook leans back, stretching his inked arms along the backrest.
“I think about you a lot,” he admits, voice low enough that only you can hear. “Not just because you’re across the landing. Because you make things feel… easier. I’ve been carrying a lot since my brother and his wife—Ellie’s parents—were gone. The guilt, the fear I’m not enough for her. But when you’re here, even just for tea or a walk, it feels lighter. Like I can breathe.”
You look at him, really look—the strong line of his jaw, the tattoos that tell stories he hasn’t fully shared yet, the quiet strength in how he watches his daughter. “You are enough, Jungkook. She knows it. I see it every time she reaches for you.”
He turns his head, eyes meeting yours. “And you? Do you know how easy it is to fall with you? Not the young, messy way we were before. This feels… mature. Real. Like two people who’ve seen harder days still choosing the soft ones together.”
“I feel it too,” you say softly. “It’s scary how easy it is. But good scary.”
Ellie runs back then, arms full of colorful leaves, demanding you both admire her collection. The moment breaks, but the warmth stays.
That night, after they’ve gone back to 5C and you’re alone with your canvas and iced tea, you put on Olivia Dean again. The lyrics feel different now, less like a memory and more like a promise.
You dance a little in the living room, socks sliding, that old crazy-happy spark flaring brighter. Laughing at yourself because this—neighbor knocks, toddler leaf collections, quiet confessions on park benches—is becoming your new normal.
The weeks had settled into something quietly beautiful, but one Thursday evening cracked it open wider.
You had come home from a long shift, the kind that left your shoulders tight and your mind replaying tiny patients’ faces. Instead of heading straight for the bath like usual, you found yourself knocking on 5C after hearing Ellie’s soft giggles mixed with Jungkook’s low laughter drifting into the hallway. The door opened to warm light and the smell of something simple cooking—ramen with extra vegetables, probably.
Ellie spotted you first and ran over on unsteady legs, arms up. You scooped her up without thinking, left hand supporting her back as she tucked her face into your neck like it was the most natural place in the world.
Jungkook stood by the stove, wooden spoon in hand, watching the two of you with that soft, wondering look that had become more frequent lately. “Perfect timing. We were just about to eat. Stay?”
You did.
After dinner—Ellie proudly feeding her bear a single noodle—Jungkook put her to bed while you cleared the table. When he came back, the apartment felt quieter, the cloud night-light casting gentle shadows. He grabbed two glasses of your favorite green iced tea (he’d started keeping lemons just for you) and nodded toward the couch.
“Sit with me?” His voice was lower than usual, almost hesitant. “There’s… stuff I’ve been wanting to tell you. About the years since we lost touch. About how I ended up here. With her.”
You settled beside him, close enough that your knee brushed his. The calm version of you stayed steady, but your heart picked up pace. “Only if you want to. No pressure.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, tattoos shifting with the movement. For a moment he looked exactly like the shy twenty-year-old you once knew—eyes down, shoulders slightly rounded—before he straightened and met your gaze.
“We broke up… it was gentle. You went off for your scholarship, I was figuring out my own path. I thought we’d both just grow into different people and that was okay. But life didn’t stay simple.”
He took a slow breath, fingers tracing the rim of his glass.
“My brother—Seojun—and his wife Jiyoon… they were everything to me. They had Ellie when she was just a baby. I was there the day she was born. Held her when she was ten minutes old and she grabbed my finger like she already knew me. I became ‘Appa’s brother’ to her. The fun uncle who showed up with silly gifts and helped with night feeds when they needed a break.”
His voice caught for a second. You reached over and rested your left hand on his arm, quiet support. He covered it with his own without looking away.
“Fourteen months ago… there was an accident. Car crash on the highway. They didn’t make it. I got the call while I was in the middle of a work meeting. One minute I was reviewing code, the next I was Ellie’s only family. Their will was clear—they wanted me to raise her. No hesitation on paper. But in real life?”
He let out a shaky laugh that didn’t quite hide the pain. “I was terrified. Twenty-seven years old, single, running a small tech company from home, still figuring out how to be an adult myself. I spent the first week after the funeral sitting on the floor of their apartment with Ellie in my lap, both of us crying, and I didn’t know how to explain they weren’t coming back. I called lawyers. Looked into other options. Thought maybe my parents or a more stable family could do it better.”
You squeezed his arm gently. “That’s human, Jungkook. Anyone would doubt themselves.”
“Yeah… but I couldn’t do it. The second I tried to imagine handing her over, something in me broke. She was already mine in every way that mattered. From that first hospital day. From every time Seojun called me at 3 a.m. saying ‘Jungkook-ah, come meet your niece.’ I looked at her tiny face—those eyes that are exactly my brother’s—and I knew. I had to grow up right then. No more shy kid calculating risks from the sidelines, and I became her dad. Officially. Legally. Every single day since.”
He paused, voice dropping softer. “It changed me. I got the tattoos—some for Seojun and Jiyoon, some for Ellie, reminders that I can carry heavy things and still keep moving. I learned how to do night feeds, doctor visits, toddler tantrums. I read every parenting book I could find. But some days… I still feel like that shy teenager you knew. The one who got nervous holding your hand because he didn’t want to mess it up. When Ellie reaches for me and calls me Appa, part of me still panics that I’m not enough. That I’m faking this whole ‘strong dad’ thing.”
You turned toward him fully, your left hand sliding up to cup his cheek. The touch was gentle, paint still faintly under your nails from earlier that day. “You’re not faking it. I see you with her. The way you carry her when she’s tired, the way you notice every little thing she needs. That’s real maturity, Jungkook. Not perfect, but real. And the shy part? It’s still there because you’re still you. I like both versions.”
He leaned into your palm, eyes closing for a moment like the words were something he’d been waiting to hear. When he opened them again, they were brighter, more open.
“Meeting you again—right across the landing—felt like the universe giving me a second chance at something soft. I recognized you the first day you moved in. The way you hum when you’re unlocking your door, that left-handed grip on your bags. I didn’t say anything because I was scared. Scared I’d complicate your life with a ready-made family and all my baggage. But then Ellie got sick and you showed up at midnight like it was nothing. And every week since… you make it feel easy. Being a dad. Being around someone who sees the shy parts and the strong parts and doesn’t run.”
The air between you felt thicker now, charged with years and new honesty. Not the light, teenage love from before—this was heavier, deeper, two adults who had been shaped by loss and responsibility choosing each other anyway.
You smiled softly, thumb brushing his cheekbone. “You make it easy too, you know. Coming home to knocks and tea and a little girl who thinks I’m magic because I made her fever go away. I used to skip meals for baths or sleep, but lately I find myself looking forward to these moments more than the quiet ones alone.”
Ellie made a small sleep sound from her room, the monitor on the table crackling softly. Jungkook glanced toward it, then back at you, his hand still over yours.
“I’m not rushing anything,” he said quietly. “But I needed you to know the whole story. How I became her father. How I grew up overnight even though sometimes I still feel like that nervous kid who liked you too much to say it right the first time.”
You leaned in, resting your forehead against his for a brief moment. The touch was simple. Warm. Full of the mature kind of promise.
“Thank you for telling me,” you whispered. “I’m glad it was you across the landing. Both versions of you.”
The moment stretched, heavy with everything he had shared and everything still unspoken. Then his hand came up slowly, fingers sliding into your hair at the nape of your neck, careful, like he was asking permission with every touch.
“Can I…?” he whispered, voice rough and low, the shy teenager peeking through the strong man he had become.
You answered by closing the small distance.
The first kiss was soft. Tentative in the way only something truly wanted can be. His lips brushed yours once, testing, then pressed again with quiet certainty. There was no rush, no explosion of young passion like the hurried kisses you once shared at twenty and eighteen. This was slower, deeper—two people who had carried years of life pressing their mouths together like they were finally allowing themselves to breathe the same air again.
He tasted like green tea and something warmer underneath. His hand stayed gentle in your hair while the other found your waist, pulling you just a fraction closer on the couch. You melted into it, left hand sliding from his cheek to the back of his neck, fingers brushing the short hairs there. The kiss lingered, turning from sweet to something more intent, mouths moving in a rhythm that felt both brand new and achingly familiar.
When you finally pulled back, just enough to breathe, your foreheads touched again. His eyes were dark, lashes low, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth.
“I’ve wanted to do that since the night you showed up for Ellie,” he admitted quietly. “Maybe since the day you moved in. But I kept telling myself not to complicate things.”
You let out a soft laugh, the crazy-happy spark flickering warmly in your chest. “You’re not complicating anything. You’re… making it feel right.”
He kissed you once more, quick and soft this time, like he couldn’t help himself, then settled back against the couch, keeping your hand in his. The silence was comfortable, the kind that didn’t need filling right away.
After a moment, you squeezed his fingers. “Since you told me your story… I should tell you mine. The parts after we lost touch. It wasn’t all smooth for me either.”
Jungkook turned toward you fully, giving you his complete attention the way he always did—focused, patient, like nothing else in the world mattered right now. “I want to hear it. All of it.”
You took a breath, staring at your joined hands. Your left thumb traced one of his tattoos absentmindedly.
“College… it broke me for a while. I thought leaving was the right decision. The scholarship felt like this big, bright future. But the program was brutal. I was eighteen, away from home, surrounded by people who seemed so much more prepared than me. The first two years I questioned everything. There were nights I cried in the dorm bathroom because I was convinced I had made the worst decision of my life. That I wasn’t smart enough, strong enough.”
You paused, the memories still sharp even years later. “Then came the surgical rotation. We had to work with real cadavers—cutting open actual flesh, seeing everything up close. I threw up after the first class. Actually threw up in the sink while the professor was still talking. I locked myself in a stall and thought, ‘This is it. I’m not made for medicine. I should quit and do something easier.’ I felt so weak. So unprepared for how heavy real life was going to be.”
Jungkook’s thumb stroked the back of your hand, steady and warm. He didn’t interrupt, just listened with those dark eyes that made you feel seen.
“But then… pediatrics happened. I got placed in the children’s ward during my third year. The first time I helped a young mother on the street—her baby was choking on something small, right outside the hospital. I ran over, did the maneuvers I’d only practiced on dummies, and the baby started breathing again. The mom hugged me so tight she was crying. That moment… it clicked. This was where I belonged. Helping the smallest patients, the ones who couldn’t speak for themselves yet.”
A small smile tugged at your lips as happier memories surfaced. “There was this one baby, maybe six months old, who had the tiniest toothless smile. I was having the worst day—another sleepless night, doubting everything again. I picked him up for a check-up and he just grinned at me with those gummy gums, like the sun had come out. That smile fixed something in me. I walked out of that room knowing I was on the right path again. Pediatrics wasn’t just a rotation. It became my home. The place where the hard parts felt worth it because the little wins were so pure.”
You looked up at him, voice softer. “So yeah… I had my breakdowns. The throwing up after surgery, the nights I wanted to quit. But I found my way back. Just like you did with Ellie. We both grew up the hard way, but we ended up here.”
Jungkook lifted your joined hands and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, right over the faint paint smudge that never quite washed away. “I’m proud of you. For staying when it was ugly. For finding the toothless smiles that kept you going.” His voice dropped, warm and certain. “And I’m really glad those paths brought you back across the landing from me.”
The kiss that followed was slower, deeper than the first. Less tentative, more sure. His hand cupped your jaw while yours rested against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart under your palm. It wasn’t rushed or desperate—it was the kind of kiss that said “I see all of you, the hard parts and the soft ones, and I’m still here.”
When you pulled apart this time, you were both smiling, a little breathless, the crazy-happy spark in you dancing brighter.
Ellie’s monitor let out a small murmur. Jungkook glanced at it, then back at you with a quiet laugh. “She has perfect timing.”
You leaned your head on his shoulder, the weight comfortable and right. “She really does.”
The night stretched on with more quiet talk and a few more soft kisses, the kind that felt like promises rather than endings. Outside, the city hummed its usual song. Inside 5C, two people who had once been young and uncertain were finding each other again—this time as the adults they had fought to become.
Jungkook started texting you in the mornings, short messages about Ellie’s latest discovery (a new word for “bird” or how she tried to feed her bear cereal). You replied with photos of your half-finished canvases or quick updates from your shift breaks. Just steady threads pulling you closer across the landing.
One Tuesday evening you came home to find him waiting outside your door with a small container of soup. “Ellie made me cook extra. She kept saying ‘for the nice lady.’” You invited him in. You ate together at your tiny table while music played softly in the background. He asked about the songs you loved lately; you asked about the tech projects that kept him working from home. Conversation wandered easily from silly childhood stories to the small frustrations of adult life. When he left, he brushed a soft kiss against your cheek at the door — nothing more, but it lingered.
The next weekend Ellie dragged both of you to the park again. She insisted on holding one of your hands and one of his, swinging between you like a tiny bridge. Jungkook caught your eye over her head and smiled — that slow, warm smile that made your stomach flip. Later, while Ellie chased leaves, the two of you sat on the bench talking about favorite movies from years ago. He remembered the ones you used to quote; you remembered how he used to hum along even when he didn’t know the words. When Ellie got tired, he carried her home on his shoulders and you walked beside them, the three of you moving like it was the most natural thing.
Some nights he knocked with whatever he had cooked that day, and you ended up on his couch watching whatever cartoon Ellie demanded before bed. She always crawled into your lap halfway through, falling asleep against your chest while Jungkook watched the two of you with quiet eyes. You started staying longer after she was tucked in — just talking, sharing small pieces of your days, letting kisses happen naturally when the moment felt right. Soft presses at first, then deeper ones that left you both a little breathless and smiling against each other’s mouths.
One rainy Thursday you had a rare afternoon off. Jungkook suggested a short walk to the nearby market because Ellie wanted “pretty fruits.” You went along, ending up carrying bags while he kept one arm loosely around your shoulders to shield you from the drizzle. At home you helped chop vegetables for dinner, shoulders brushing as you worked side by side in his kitchen. Ellie “helped” by stacking blocks on the floor and announcing each one’s name. When dinner was ready the three of you ate together like it had always been this way — easy laughter, Ellie stealing bites from your plate, Jungkook’s foot gently nudging yours under the table.
He began walking you to your door after evenings together, stealing one last kiss that tasted like the dessert you had shared. You started leaving small notes on his doorstep when your shifts ran late — silly drawings or reminders to rest. He replied with photos of Ellie’s latest artwork dedicated “to nice lady.”
One evening after putting Ellie to bed, you stayed on his couch longer than usual. The conversation turned quieter, more intimate. He told you about a tough work call that day; you shared a story about a little patient who had made you laugh until you cried. The space between you disappeared slowly until you were curled against his side, his arm around you, fingers tracing lazy patterns on your shoulder.
When he kissed you that night it felt different — slower, more intentional. His hands framed your face like you were something precious he was still learning how to hold. You kissed him back with the same care, exploring the way his breath hitched when you tugged gently at his hair, the way his body relaxed under your touch. There was heat building, but no rush. Just the steady discovery of each other again — the man he had become and the woman you were now.
Afterward you stayed tangled together on the couch, trading soft words and quieter kisses until the monitor crackled with Ellie’s sleepy murmur. He walked you across the landing with his hand in yours, pressing one final kiss to your forehead before you slipped inside your own apartment.
The next morning he sent a photo of Ellie holding up a drawing of three stick figures holding hands. The message simply read: She says this is us.
You smiled at your phone for a long minute, heart full in a way that felt brand new and deeply familiar at the same time.
You weren’t calling it dating. You weren’t labeling anything.
But every shared meal, every walk with Ellie between you, every kiss that grew longer and surer, every quiet night talking until the hours slipped away — it was building something real. Something steady. Something that made coming home feel like the best part of the day.
The call came on a quiet Wednesday afternoon when you were off shift and halfway through sketching a new canvas.
Jungkook’s voice on the phone sounded tight, the kind of controlled panic that only parents learn. “Hey… I’m really sorry to ask this, but my biggest client just moved our meeting up by three hours and it’s in-person downtown. My usual sitter is out sick and my mom can’t get here in time. Ellie’s been fine all morning but she’s still a little clingy. Would you… could you watch her for a couple of hours? I’ll be back before dinner.”
You didn’t even hesitate. “Of course. Bring her over.”
Ten minutes later he appeared at your door with Ellie on his hip, a small backpack slung over his shoulder, and gratitude written all over his face. Ellie reached for you immediately, bear clutched in one fist.
“You sure this is okay?” he asked, setting the bag down. “I know it’s last minute.”
“It’s more than okay,” you said, taking Ellie from him. She settled against you like she belonged there, small head resting on your shoulder. “Go handle your meeting. We’ll be fine.”
He lingered for a second longer than necessary, eyes moving between you and his daughter. Then he leaned in, pressed a quick, soft kiss to your temple, and another to Ellie’s hair. “Thank you. Text me if anything comes up. I’ll hurry back.”
The door clicked shut behind him, and suddenly it was just you and Ellie in your apartment.
She wasn’t difficult. She was curious.
For the first hour she followed you around like a tiny shadow while you finished your sketch, pointing at colors and demanding names for each one. You let her sit on your lap at the table and “help” by handing you crayons, her serious little face concentrating hard on every movement. When she got bored of that, you pulled out paper and let her scribble her own pictures — mostly circles and wobbly lines she proudly declared were “birds and appa and you.”
Lunch was simple: chopped fruit and the yogurt she liked. She fed herself with surprising focus, occasionally offering a strawberry to you or her bear. Afterward you read her two books on the couch, doing all the voices until she giggled so hard she nearly fell off your lap.
Then came the part that undid you both a little.
Ellie started rubbing her eyes, the clinginess from earlier returning. Instead of fighting it, you carried her to the couch, wrapped her in the soft throw blanket you kept there, and hummed the same low tune you’d used the night of her fever. She curled into your side, bear tucked under her chin, one small hand fisting the front of your shirt like she was making sure you wouldn’t disappear.
You stayed there, stroking her back in slow circles, watching her lashes flutter and finally still as she drifted off. The apartment was quiet except for her soft breathing and the distant sound of rain starting again outside.
That was when Jungkook came back.
He let himself in with the spare key you’d given him the week before (just in case, you’d both said). You looked up from the couch and caught the exact moment his expression changed.
He stopped in the doorway, bag still in hand, eyes softening as he took in the scene: you on the couch with his daughter asleep against your chest, her tiny fist still curled in your shirt, your hand gently resting on her back. The half-finished drawings scattered on the table. The blanket you’d pulled over both of you. The way the afternoon light came through the window and painted everything golden and soft.
He didn’t speak right away. Just stood there watching, something raw and wondering crossing his face — like he was seeing a version of life he had quietly imagined in the hardest months after becoming Ellie’s dad, but never fully let himself believe could happen.
A life with someone who didn’t just help, but fit.
Someone who made the ordinary afternoons feel like they belonged to all three of you.
You offered him a small, gentle smile over Ellie’s head. He crossed the room quietly and knelt beside the couch, one hand coming up to brush a strand of hair from his daughter’s cheek. His fingers lingered, then moved to rest lightly over yours where they lay on Ellie’s back.
“She went down easy?” he whispered.
“After stories and strawberries,” you murmured back. “She drew you a bird. It’s on the table.”
He glanced at the drawings, then back at you. His eyes were bright, a little glassy at the edges. “You look good like this,” he said, voice so low it barely carried. “Holding her. Being here. It makes me think about… all the nights I stayed up wondering if I was doing this right. If she would ever have someone else who just… knew how to be with her like this.”
You turned your hand palm-up under his, lacing your fingers together. “She has you. And right now she has both of us. That’s enough.”
He leaned in and kissed you — slow, grateful, the kind of kiss that carried weeks of building closeness and the weight of everything he wasn’t saying yet. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours for a moment, Ellie sleeping peacefully between you.
“Thank you,” he whispered against your lips. “For today. For all the days lately.”
You kissed him once more, softer this time, then glanced down at the little girl who had somehow become the center of everything.
“She’s out cold,” you said with a small smile. “Want to move her to the bed so we can sit properly?”
He nodded, carefully lifting Ellie into his arms. You followed him to your bedroom, watching as he laid her down and tucked the blanket around her with practiced care. When he straightened, he pulled you close again, arms wrapping around your waist, chin resting on top of your head.
Jungkook held you like he was afraid the moment might slip away if he let go. The wordless thing you had been building felt less like something happening to you and more like something you were both choosing — one shared afternoon, one sleepy toddler, one steady kiss at a time
The following Saturday afternoon found the three of you in Jungkook’s apartment again, the kind of lazy weekend where time moved slower.
Ellie had been playing on the living room floor with her blocks, building lopsided towers and knocking them down with delighted squeals. You were sitting cross-legged nearby, helping her stack the bright blue ones while Jungkook worked on his laptop at the table, occasionally glancing over with a soft smile. The rain from earlier had cleared, leaving golden light spilling through the windows.
When Ellie’s tower finally collapsed for the fifth time, she let out a dramatic little huff and toddled straight toward you instead of her father.
“Up,” she demanded, arms raised.
You opened your arms without thinking and lifted her onto your lap. She settled immediately, tiny hands grabbing fistfuls of your shirt like she was anchoring herself there. Her fingers twisted the fabric tight, refusing to loosen even when Jungkook stood up and walked over, crouching in front of you both with an amused grin.
“Hey, Ellie-ya,” he said gently, holding his own arms out. “Come to Appa? Let’s build another tower together.”
Ellie shook her head once, burying her face against your chest. Her grip on your shirt only tightened, small knuckles turning white. “No. Stay.”
Jungkook laughed softly, the sound warm and light, but you caught the way his eyes flickered — something deeper flashing across his face before he masked it with another chuckle. “Alright, guess she’s made her choice today.”
He sat down beside you on the floor instead, close enough that his knee pressed against yours. Ellie peeked out from your shirt just long enough to give him a triumphant little smile, then went right back to clutching you, her whole small body relaxing like this was exactly where she wanted to be.
You rubbed slow circles on her back, murmuring nonsense about the colors of the blocks. Ellie listened for a moment, then lifted her head, looked straight at you with those big dark eyes, and said clearly:
“Y/N.”
Your breath caught.
She had never used your name before — always “nice lady” or nothing at all. Now it came out simple and certain, like she had been practicing it in her head and decided it fit.
“Y/N,” she repeated, patting your chest with one hand while the other stayed firmly twisted in your shirt. “Stay.”
Jungkook went very still beside you. The laugh he let out this time was quieter, almost breathless. “Well… that’s new.”
You felt warmth bloom across your cheeks, but you didn’t pull away. Instead you pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Ellie’s head. “Okay, sweetheart. I’m staying right here.”
From that moment something shifted inside you without you fully realizing it.
You started doing little things naturally, the way you had once imagined you might if you ever became a mother someday. Small adjustments you didn’t even notice you were making.
When Ellie got fussy later that evening, you instinctively rocked her in the exact rhythm that always calmed the babies at the hospital. You hummed the same soft tune while preparing her snack, cutting the fruit into the tiny pieces she liked best. You wiped her hands and face with the warm cloth Jungkook handed you, but you did it with the gentle thoroughness you used on your tiniest patients — careful, patient, full of quiet affection.
You didn’t think about it. It just felt right.
But Jungkook noticed everything.
He watched from the kitchen while you helped Ellie wash her hands at the sink, your body angled protectively so she wouldn’t slip. He saw the way you automatically checked her forehead with the back of your fingers when she yawned, the same way you’d done the night of her fever. He caught how you rearranged the cushions on the couch so she could lean against them comfortably while you read her a story, your voice soft and engaged like nothing else in the world mattered more than this moment.
Each small thing undid him in a way he hadn’t known was possible.
He had spent so long being the strong one — the one who had to figure everything out alone after the accident, the one who carried the weight of becoming a father overnight. He thought he had accepted that this was his life now: just him and Ellie against the world.
But seeing you slip so effortlessly into the role — not forcing it, not performing it, just being there with that natural care — hit him somewhere deep and tender he hadn’t let himself feel before. It wasn’t just attraction anymore. It was devotion, sudden and strong, the kind that made his chest ache in the best possible way.
Later, after Ellie had finally fallen asleep in her bed (still clutching the corner of the blanket you had tucked around her), Jungkook pulled you into the hallway just outside her room. He backed you gently against the wall, hands framing your face as he looked at you like you were the most precious thing he had ever seen.
“You have no idea what you do to me,” he whispered, voice rough with emotion. “Watching you with her today… the way she reached for you first. The way she said your name like it was already hers. And then you just… you took care of her like you’ve been doing it forever.”
He kissed you then — deeper than usual, more intense, like he was pouring every unspoken feeling into it. His hands slid down to your waist, pulling you flush against him as if he needed to feel you there, solid and real.
When he pulled back just enough to breathe, his forehead rested against yours. “I’m falling so hard for you. Harder than I thought I could. You make this feel possible — all of it. Being her dad, being with someone, having this kind of life. I didn’t know I could want it this much until I saw you with her today.”
You smiled against his lips, fingers threading through his hair. “She chose me today. I think I’m choosing both of you right back.”
He kissed you again, slower this time, full of that new layer of devotion that made every touch feel heavier with meaning. His hands stayed on you like he couldn’t bear to let go, like he was already promising silently to hold onto this — onto you — with everything he had.
Jungkook was leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, watching the two of you with that soft look that had become constant lately. “There’s a little parents’ event at Ellie’s daycare this Friday. It’s just a short show — the toddlers do a simple dance and sing a couple songs. Nothing fancy, but… she’s been practicing the moves every day. Would you come with us?”
Ellie immediately dropped her block and clapped her hands. “Y/N come! Dance with me!”
You laughed, heart doing a silly little flip at how naturally she said your name now. “I’d love to.”
The daycare parents’ event turned out to be a little bigger than Jungkook had first described.
“It’s not just the toddlers dancing,” he explained the night before while you were both sitting on his couch after Ellie went to bed. “There’s a small reception afterward with photos and snacks. A few parents dress up a bit — nothing crazy, but nicer than everyday clothes. I was thinking… maybe we could too? For Ellie.”
You agreed without overthinking it.
Friday afternoon you came straight from your shift and changed into something a step above your usual post-work comfort. A soft cream-colored blouse with delicate buttons, tucked into high-waisted dark jeans that made your legs look longer. You added a simple gold necklace and light makeup — just enough to feel put-together. When you stepped across the landing, Jungkook opened the door already dressed.
He looked good. Really good.
A charcoal button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled once to show a hint of his tattoos, paired with well-fitted black trousers and polished shoes. The shirt hugged his shoulders in a way that reminded you exactly how strong he had become over the years. His hair was styled neatly, a little effort put in, and he smelled faintly of the cologne he saved for important days.
Ellie was dressed in her favorite yellow sun shirt, but Jungkook had added a soft tulle skirt over her leggings and tiny white shoes that made her look like a proper little performer. She twirled the second she saw you, skirt flaring out.
“You both look nice,” you said, unable to hide your smile.
Jungkook’s eyes swept over you appreciatively. “So do you. Ready?”
The three of you arrived at the daycare looking every bit the picture of a young family. Jungkook carried Ellie on his hip at first, then set her down so she could walk between you, holding one of your hands and one of his. You had brought a small bag with extra wipes and a spare shirt for her, just in case. Jungkook had remembered her favorite snack and a water bottle.
The gymnasium was decorated with more balloons and fairy lights than last time. Parents were dressed up in their own versions of “nice but realistic” — button-downs, pretty blouses, dresses that weren’t too formal. No one was in a full suit or gown, but everyone had made an effort.
Ellie’s class performed again, the same adorable chaotic dance. She kept glancing at you and Jungkook in the front row, waving every time the music paused. When the song ended and the kids ran to their families, Ellie sprinted straight to you again.
This time she didn’t just reach for you — she launched herself.
You caught her, laughing as her tiny hands grabbed your blouse. The fabric wrinkled under her grip, but you didn’t care. She buried her face in your neck, legs wrapping around your waist.
A couple standing nearby smiled warmly.
“Oh, she’s so attached to her mom,” the woman said. “Look at that hug! You two must be so proud of how far she’s come since starting here.”
Jungkook didn’t miss a beat.
“We are,” he said smoothly, stepping closer so his arm could slide around your waist, hand resting just above where Ellie’s legs were wrapped. “She’s been practicing every single day at home. Couldn’t be prouder.”
You opened your mouth to gently correct the assumption, but Jungkook’s fingers gave a light squeeze on your side — a silent let it be. His touch was warm through your blouse, steady and reassuring.
The fluffy feeling hit you again, harder this time.
Oh my God. He just called us “we” like it’s the most natural thing.
This man — tattoos, strong shoulders, button-down that fits him way too well — is standing here in nice trousers, arm around me, while our… while Ellie clings to my blouse like I’m hers.
People are looking at us like we’re a real little family. Me. In my slightly-fancy blouse. Him looking like he stepped out of a responsible-dad catalog.
Jesus Christ, is this my life now? I went from throwing up after cadaver class to this?
Fluffy doesn’t even cover it. My chest feels like someone stuffed it with warm cotton and fairy lights. I might actually melt into the floor if he keeps his hand there.
You adjusted Ellie on your hip, pressing a kiss to her temple while your mind kept its ridiculous
The daycare parents’ event turned out to be a little bigger than Jungkook had first described.
“It’s not just the toddlers dancing,” he explained the night before while you were both sitting on his couch after Ellie went to bed. “There’s a small reception afterward with photos and snacks. A few parents dress up a bit — nothing crazy, but nicer than everyday clothes. I was thinking… maybe we could too? For Ellie.”
You agreed without overthinking it.
Friday afternoon you came straight from your shift and changed into something a step above your usual post-work comfort. A soft cream-colored blouse with delicate buttons, tucked into high-waisted dark jeans that made your legs look longer. You added a simple gold necklace and light makeup — just enough to feel put-together. When you stepped across the landing, Jungkook opened the door already dressed.
He looked good. Really good.
A charcoal button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled once to show a hint of his tattoos, paired with well-fitted black trousers and polished shoes. The shirt hugged his shoulders in a way that reminded you exactly how strong he had become over the years. His hair was styled neatly, a little effort put in, and he smelled faintly of the cologne he saved for important days.
Ellie was dressed in her favorite yellow sun shirt, but Jungkook had added a soft tulle skirt over her leggings and tiny white shoes that made her look like a proper little performer. She twirled the second she saw you, skirt flaring out.
“You both look nice,” you said, unable to hide your smile.
Jungkook’s eyes swept over you appreciatively. “So do you. Ready?”
The three of you arrived at the daycare looking every bit the picture of a young family. Jungkook carried Ellie on his hip at first, then set her down so she could walk between you, holding one of your hands and one of his. You had brought a small bag with extra wipes and a spare shirt for her, just in case. Jungkook had remembered her favorite snack and a water bottle.
The gymnasium was decorated with more balloons and fairy lights than last time. Parents were dressed up in their own versions of “nice but realistic” — button-downs, pretty blouses, dresses that weren’t too formal. No one was in a full suit or gown, but everyone had made an effort.
Ellie’s class performed again, the same adorable chaotic dance. She kept glancing at you and Jungkook in the front row, waving every time the music paused. When the song ended and the kids ran to their families, Ellie sprinted straight to you again.
This time she didn’t just reach for you — she launched herself.
You caught her, laughing as her tiny hands grabbed your blouse. The fabric wrinkled under her grip, but you didn’t care. She buried her face in your neck, legs wrapping around your waist.
A couple standing nearby smiled warmly.
“Oh, she’s so attached to her mom,” the woman said. “Look at that hug! You two must be so proud of how far she’s come since starting here.”
Jungkook didn’t miss a beat.
“We are,” he said smoothly, stepping closer so his arm could slide around your waist, hand resting just above where Ellie’s legs were wrapped. “She’s been practicing every single day at home. Couldn’t be prouder.”
You opened your mouth to gently correct the assumption, but Jungkook’s fingers gave a light squeeze on your side — a silent let it be. His touch was warm through your blouse, steady and reassuring.
The fluffy feeling hit you again, harder this time.
Oh my God. He just called us “we” like it’s the most natural thing.
This man — tattoos, strong shoulders, button-down that fits him way too well — is standing here in nice trousers, arm around me, while our… while Ellie clings to my blouse like I’m hers.
People are looking at us like we’re a real little family. Me. In my slightly-fancy blouse. Him looking like he stepped out of a responsible-dad catalog.
Jesus Christ, is this my life now? I went from throwing up after cadaver class to this?
Fluffy doesn’t even cover it. My chest feels like someone stuffed it with warm cotton and fairy lights. I might actually melt into the floor if he keeps his hand there.
You adjusted Ellie on your hip, pressing a kiss to her temple while your mind kept its ridiculous, monologue running..
Okay, brain, breathe. You’re a pediatric doctor. You’ve handled actual emergencies. You can handle being mistaken for a mom while wearing a blouse that cost more than your usual scrubs.
But look at him. Sleeves rolled just enough to show some ink. Standing there like he belongs in this picture. Like he wants people to think we’re together. Like he wants me here as more than just the nice neighbor.
This is dangerous. This is the kind of dangerous that makes me want to keep wearing blouses and showing up to toddler dance shows forever.
The reception continued with snacks and group photos. Several more parents stopped to compliment Ellie’s performance and casually referred to you as her mother. Each time, Jungkook simply smiled and thanked them, never correcting, his arm staying around you like it was the most normal place in the world.
You felt yourself leaning into him more as the afternoon went on. Ellie refused to be put down, content to stay in your arms while she nibbled on a cookie, occasionally offering you a piece with her sticky fingers.
When it was time for the official parent photo, the teacher waved the three of you over. Jungkook positioned himself behind you, one hand on your waist, the other steadying Ellie on your hip. The camera clicked.
You looked every bit the real parents — him in his charcoal shirt, you in your cream blouse, Ellie bright and happy between you.
On the drive home, Ellie fell asleep in her car seat, exhausted from all the excitement. Jungkook reached over and took your hand, lacing your fingers together.
“You looked beautiful today,” he said quietly. “Holding her like that. Standing there with us.”
You squeezed his hand, the fluffy warmth still swirling in your chest. “You looked pretty good yourself. All dressed up like a proper dad.”
He laughed softly, thumb brushing over your knuckles. “Felt good. Having you there. Having people see us like that.”
You didn’t say anything else for a moment, just let the quiet settle. Your internal voice was still chattering happily in the background.
This man just let an entire room of parents think I’m Ellie’s mom and he didn’t blink. He wanted it. He’s holding my hand like he never wants to let go.
If someone told eighteen-year-old me that one day I’d be dressed up in a blouse, carrying a toddler who calls me by name, while her ridiculously attractive father looks at me like I’m the missing piece… I would have laughed until I cried.
But here we are.
Back at the building, you carried a sleepy Ellie up the stairs while Jungkook held the doors. She stirred just enough to mumble “Y/N pretty” before tucking her face into your neck again.
Jungkook watched the whole thing with that look that had grown even stronger since— like every time he saw you with her, something inside him clicked more firmly into place, he closed the bedroom door with a gentle click and turned to you. The golden light from the small lamp made everything feel softer, warmer. His eyes moved over you slowly — the cream blouse you’d worn for the daycare event, now slightly wrinkled from Ellie’s hands, the way your hair had loosened throughout the day. He stepped closer, hands coming up to frame your face with a tenderness that made your chest ache.
“I’ve been thinking about this for weeks,” he whispered, thumb brushing your lower lip. “Not just tonight. Every time I saw you with her. Every time you stayed a little longer. Every time you looked at me like I still matter.”
You leaned into his touch, heart beating steady and heavy. “You do matter. You always did.”
He kissed you then, slow and deep, like he was savoring every second after years of being apart. His lips moved against yours with quiet certainty, tongue tracing the seam of your mouth until you opened for him. The kiss tasted like the punch from the reception and something sweeter underneath — like coming home after a long time away.
Your hands slid up his chest, fingers working open the buttons of his charcoal shirt one by one. When the fabric parted you pushed it off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. Your palms explored the warm skin beneath, tracing the lines of muscle he’d built over the years, the tattoos that told stories you were only beginning to learn. He shivered under your touch but didn’t hurry you.
Jungkook took his time undressing you too. He unbuttoned your blouse slowly, kissing every new inch of skin he revealed — your collarbone, the swell of your breasts above your bra, the soft skin of your stomach. When he reached the waistband of your jeans he knelt, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your hip as he slid the denim down your legs. Your bra and panties followed with the same patient care, until you stood completely bare in front of him.
He rose to his feet and looked at you for a long moment, eyes dark with want but full of something deeper. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. “Even more than I remembered.”
He guided you back onto the bed, laying you down gently against the pillows. His body covered yours, warm and solid, but he kept most of his weight on his forearms so he could look at your face. The kiss that followed was slower, more sensual — tongues sliding together, lips pulling and sucking softly. His hand roamed your body with reverence, cupping your breast, thumb circling your nipple until it tightened under his touch. You arched into him, a quiet moan slipping out.
Jungkook kissed down your neck, taking his time at the sensitive spot just below your ear that made your breath hitch. He moved lower, mouth closing around one nipple while his hand teased the other. The wet heat of his tongue, the gentle scrape of his teeth — it sent slow waves of pleasure through you, building steadily rather than rushing.
When he finally settled between your thighs, he looked up at you with dark, devoted eyes. “Let me taste you.”
He licked a long, slow stripe up your center, savoring you like he had all the time in the world. His tongue circled your clit with deliberate pressure, then flattened to lick broad strokes that had your hips rolling against his mouth. Two fingers slid inside you easily, curling gently to find that perfect spot while his lips wrapped around your clit and sucked softly.
You gasped his name, fingers threading through his hair. The pleasure built gradually, deep and rolling, until it crested in a long, shuddering orgasm that left you trembling beneath him. He stayed with you through every wave, licking you gently until you were oversensitive and breathing hard.
Jungkook kissed his way back up your body, letting you taste yourself on his tongue when he reached your mouth. “I missed this,” he whispered against your lips. “Missed feeling you like this. Missed making you feel good.”
You reached between you, wrapping your hand around his cock. He was hard and thick, pulsing in your palm as you stroked him slowly. He groaned low in his throat, hips pushing into your touch.
“Condom?” you asked softly.
He nodded, reaching into the nightstand. You watched him roll it on with steady hands, then pulled him back down. He settled between your thighs, the head of his cock nudging your entrance.
“Look at me,” he said gently.
Your eyes met his as he pushed in — slow, sure, inch by inch. The stretch was perfect, filling you completely until he was buried to the hilt. He stayed still for a long moment, forehead pressed to yours, breathing the same air.
“God… you feel like home,” he whispered.
Then he started moving — deep, unhurried thrusts that rocked you both together. Every stroke was deliberate, sensual, his hips rolling in a slow rhythm that built the pleasure gradually. You wrapped your legs around him, hands sliding over his back, feeling the muscles shift under your palms with every thrust.
He kissed you through it all — soft, romantic kisses that turned dirtier as the heat grew. “You’re so tight,” he murmured against your mouth. “Taking me so well. Been dreaming about being inside you again… just like this.”
His pace stayed steady but grew a little firmer, the angle shifting until he was hitting that spot deep inside you with every thrust. One hand slipped between your bodies, fingers circling your clit in slow, perfect strokes.
You moaned softly, nails digging into his shoulders. “Jungkook… feels so good…”
“I know, baby,” he breathed, voice rough with restraint. “I’ve got you. Let it build. I want to feel you come around me.”
The orgasm rose slowly this time — a deep, rolling wave that started in your core and spread outward until your whole body was trembling. You came with a quiet, broken cry, clenching tight around him. Jungkook groaned your name, hips stuttering as he followed you over the edge, burying himself deep while he pulsed inside the condom.
He stayed inside you for a long moment afterward, kissing you softly — your lips, your cheeks, your closed eyelids. When he finally pulled out he took care of the condom quickly, then returned to pull you into his arms.
You curled against his chest, one leg draped over his, his hand stroking slow patterns along your spine. The room was quiet, warm, filled with the sound of your slowing breaths.
“I love this,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Being with you like this. Slow. Real. After all this time.”
You smiled against his skin, heart full and steady. “Me too.”
He held you closer, the devotion in every touch even stronger now. In the quiet of his bedroom, with Ellie sleeping peacefully down the hall, the two of you lay tangled together — skin warm, hearts closer than they had been in years.
The first light of morning filtered softly through the curtains when Ellie woke up.
You felt it before you heard anything — a small shift in the air, the faint sound of tiny feet padding down the hallway. Jungkook was still asleep beside you, one arm draped heavily over your waist, his breathing deep and even. Your bodies were tangled under the sheets, skin warm from the night before. The memory of slow kisses, deep thrusts, and whispered words made heat bloom low in your belly even now.
Then came the soft creak of the bedroom door.
Ellie stood in the doorway in her yellow sun pajamas, hair messy from sleep, bear clutched under one arm. She rubbed her eyes with her fist, blinking at the sight of you both in bed together.
For a second she just stared, processing. Then her face lit up with the biggest, sleepiest smile you had ever seen.
“Y/N,” she said happily, voice still raspy from sleep. She didn’t hesitate — she toddled straight to the bed and climbed up with surprising determination, using the edge of the mattress to pull herself onto it. Her small body wriggled between the two of you, bear squished against your chest as she settled in like this was the most normal thing in the world.
Jungkook stirred awake at the movement, eyes blinking open. When he registered Ellie curled up between you, one tiny hand fisting the front of your shirt (the same one from yesterday, now completely wrinkled and discarded on the floor last night — you were wearing one of his t-shirts now), a slow, warm smile spread across his face.
“Morning, baby,” he murmured, voice rough with sleep. He reached over to brush her hair back, but his eyes stayed on you the whole time, full of that quiet devotion that had only grown stronger after last night.
Ellie snuggled closer to you, pressing her face into your neck. “Y/N stay. Warm.”
You laughed softly, wrapping an arm around her and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. The fluffy feeling from the daycare event returned tenfold, mixed with the intimate glow of the night you’d shared with Jungkook. “I’m here, sweetheart.”
Jungkook shifted closer, his hand finding yours under the blanket while Ellie wiggled happily between you. The three of you lay there for a long moment — warm, sleepy, tangled together in the soft morning light. His thumb stroked the back of your hand in slow circles, the same gentle rhythm he’d used on your skin last night when he was moving inside you, slow and deep and sure.
Ellie sighed contentedly, her small fingers still gripping your shirt. “Appa. Y/N. Bed.”
Jungkook chuckled quietly, leaning over Ellie to press a soft kiss to your lips — quick and sweet, but full of promise. “Yeah,” he whispered against your mouth. “This feels right.”
You felt your heart swell in that ridiculous, human way again.
Oh my God. I just spent the night with him— and now his daughter is cuddling between us like she planned this all along. She literally climbed into bed and claimed her spot. I’m wearing his t-shirt. He’s looking at me like last night meant everything. And I… I don’t want to leave this bed.
This is so domestic it should be illegal. I went from neighbor to… whatever this is… in what feels like five minutes and a thousand years at the same time.
Ellie lifted her head, looking between the two of you with those big, serious eyes. “Breakfast?”
Jungkook smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead before sitting up. “Yeah, let’s make breakfast. Pancakes?”
Ellie nodded enthusiastically and tried to climb over you to get to him, but ended up flopping back down with her head on your chest instead. She patted your shirt once, content. “Y/N help.”
You couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out of you. “Of course I’ll help.”
The three of you eventually made it to the kitchen — Ellie on Jungkook’s hip at first, then demanding to be carried by you while he started mixing the batter. She “helped” by handing you the spoon with both hands, her bear sitting on the counter watching everything with solemn dignity.
Jungkook kept stealing glances at you the whole time — soft, heated looks that reminded you exactly how his hands had felt on your body last night, how his voice had sounded when he groaned your name. Every time your eyes met, the corner of his mouth would lift in that private smile meant only for you.
Breakfast was messy and perfect. Ellie sat in your lap at the table, eating tiny pieces of pancake you cut for her while occasionally feeding some to her bear. Jungkook’s foot nudged yours under the table, a silent reminder of the night you’d shared.
When Ellie finished and started getting sleepy again (toddler crashes after big days were real), Jungkook took her to the living room for some quiet cartoons. You followed, and the three of you ended up on the couch — Ellie curled in your lap, Jungkook’s arm around both of you.
He leaned in close while Ellie was distracted by the screen, lips brushing your ear. “Last night was… everything,” he whispered. “Slow. Real. You and me, finally getting it right.”
You turned your head just enough to kiss him softly, careful not to disturb Ellie. “It was perfect.”
The morning continued like that — calm, warm, domestic in the best way. No rush to define anything. Just the three of you existing together, the memory of slow, sensual lovemaking from the night before lingering in every shared glance and gentle touch.
You stepped out of the hospital doors feeling that familiar post-work haze — the kind where your body wanted a long bath and your mind wanted to replay every small moment from last night and this morning. Jungkook had texted earlier that he would pick you up in his car so you didn’t have to take the bus. Ellie was with his mom for a few hours, giving the two of you a rare pocket of just-adult time.
You smiled at the thought as you walked toward the usual pickup spot near the side entrance. The cream blouse from yesterday was back in your bag; today you were in simple scrubs again, hair pulled up, but the memory of his hands on your skin still lingered like a secret.
Then you saw him.
Not Jungkook.
Yeonjun.
He was leaning against a car a few spaces away, hands in his pockets, looking exactly the same as the last time you’d seen him — warm eyes, easy smile, the kind of steady presence that had once felt safe. He straightened when he spotted you, lifting a hand in a small wave.
“Y/N,” he called, voice gentle. “Hey. I was hoping I’d catch you before you left.”
You stopped a few feet away, surprised but not upset. “Yeonjun… what are you doing here?”
He rubbed the back of his neck, the same nervous habit from years ago. “I’ve been back in Seoul for a couple of weeks. Work brought me here. I heard from a mutual friend that you moved into a new place, started at this hospital. I just… wanted to see how you’re doing. Maybe grab coffee? Talk?”
The words were soft, no pressure on the surface, but you could hear the undercurrent. The same one he’d had when he texted last month. He wasn’t aggressive. He never had been. That was the problem — he was kind. The breakup two years ago had been quiet, mutual, born from clashing schedules and two people who cared but couldn’t make the timing work. No fights. No betrayal. Just life pulling in opposite directions.
You opened your mouth to answer, but your brain was already spinning its own quiet monologue.
Oh… this is awkward in the softest way possible. He looks good. Still the same gentle guy who used to bring me soup when I pulled double shifts. But my chest doesn’t do that little flip anymore. It feels… nostalgic. Like looking at a photo from a chapter I already finished reading.
Last night I was in Jungkook’s bed, his voice in my ear calling me beautiful while he moved inside me like we had all the time in the world. This morning his daughter climbed between us and called my name like it belonged to her. And now here’s Yeonjun, standing here like he’s offering me a door back to something simpler.
God, why does life do this? Throw the past right in front of the present when everything finally feels like it’s clicking?
Before you could find the right words, a familiar black car pulled up to the curb. Jungkook.
He parked smoothly, engine still humming, and stepped out. The moment his eyes landed on Yeonjun standing there with you, something shifted in his expression — a flicker of recognition, then quiet tension. He knew exactly who this was. Old mutual friends had kept him updated over the years; he’d heard the story of the gentle breakup, the busy schedules, the fact that Yeonjun had never been the villain.
Jungkook walked over anyway, calm on the outside, but you could see the way his jaw tightened just a fraction.
“Hey,” he said, voice even as he reached you. His hand found the small of your back naturally, warm and steady. “Ready to go?”
Yeonjun’s eyes moved between the two of you, taking in the easy touch, the way Jungkook positioned himself beside you like it was the most natural place in the world. He smiled, small and genuine. “Jungkook, right? It’s been a while.”
“Yeah,” Jungkook answered, polite but short. “It has.”
You felt the air thicken for a second, just heavy with history and the unspoken. Yeonjun glanced at you one more time. “If you ever want that coffee… no pressure. I just wanted to see how you’re doing.”
He gave a small nod to both of you and walked back to his car.
The drive home was quiet at first. Ellie wasn’t in the backseat today, so it was just the two of you. Jungkook’s hands stayed steady on the wheel, but you could feel the thoughts turning in his head.
You reached over and rested your hand on his thigh. “He was just saying hi. It’s nothing.”
“I know,” he said softly. Then, after a long breath, he kept talking — more to himself than to you, voice low and truthful, like he needed to get the words out while they were still honest.
“I don’t blame him for wanting you back. I really don’t. He’s actually a nice guy… always was. From what I heard through friends back then, you two ended things clean. Just life and schedules getting in the way. He probably looks at you now and sees the same girl he fell for — smart, kind, the one who makes everything feel steady. And he’s right. You are a keeper. The kind of person someone would be stupid to let slip away twice.”
He glanced at you for a second, eyes soft but serious, before looking back at the road.
“But I’m sorry, brother… I know she’s a keeper. I let her go once — back when we were young and didn’t know how to fight for the soft things. I watched her walk away because I thought we’d both be fine on our own. I won’t make that same mistake again. Not now. Not when I’ve seen what it looks like to have her in my bed, whispering my name like it still fits. Not when I’ve watched her hold my daughter like she was always meant to be there. Not when Ellie climbs into bed between us and says Y/N’s name like it’s already hers.”
He let out a quiet, almost self-deprecating laugh, shaking his head.
“I’m not mad at him. I get it. I’d fight for you too if I were in his shoes. But you are here now. With me. With us. And I’m not letting go this time. Not for anything.”
The car filled with a comfortable quiet after that. You squeezed his thigh gently, heart full in a way that felt both new and deeply rooted.
You didn’t need to say anything right away. The words he’d spoken hung between you like a promise
When he parked in front of the building, he turned to you, leaning across the console to kiss you slow and sure, the same unhurried way he had last night.
“Home?” he asked against your lips.
You smiled, fingers brushing his jaw. “Home.”
And as you walked inside together, the past fading behind you like the afternoon light, you felt it settle even deeper — this life that was quietly, steadily becoming yours.
Ellie had come home from her grandmother’s full of stories and sleepy hugs, eaten her dinner, and gone down without a fight. Jungkook had tucked her in while you cleaned the kitchen, the two of you moving around each other with the easy familiarity that had grown so quickly. After she was asleep he pulled you into his room, kissed you slow and deep like he was still tasting the morning, and fell asleep with his arm around your waist and his face tucked against your neck.
You couldn’t sleep.
Not because anything felt wrong — the opposite. Everything felt so right that your mind wouldn’t stop turning.
You lay there in the dark, staring at the faint glow of the cloud night-light that spilled in from the hallway, and let yourself think about Yeonjun for the first time since the hospital parking lot.
What if I had said yes to coffee?
The question floated up quietly, not with longing, but with honest curiosity.
You tried to picture it — going back to the version of life you had with him two years ago. The comfortable routines. The gentle good mornings. The way he always planned dates around things he thought you’d like: nice cafés with perfect lattes, quiet dinners where the conversation never got too heavy. He was steady. Kind. The kind of man who remembered your favorite playlists and never raised his voice.
But the more you let the pictures form, the more they felt… off.
He always asked to take me for coffee. Every single time. “Let’s get coffee and talk,” like that was the answer to everything. I don’t even like coffee. I told him that once and he laughed and said he’d get me tea instead, but he never stopped suggesting coffee first. Like it was the default setting for us.
You turned your head slightly, looking at Jungkook’s sleeping face — the strong line of his jaw, the way his lashes rested against his cheeks, the small scar on his eyebrow you’d traced with your fingertip last night while he moved inside you slow and sure.
With Yeonjun everything was… easy. Too easy. The kind of easy that feels like friendship wearing love’s clothes. We never fought, never burned, never stayed up talking until the sun came up because we couldn’t stop. It was comfortable. Safe. But safe in the way a favorite sweater is safe — warm, familiar, but you don’t miss it when it’s in the drawer.
He was different from Jungkook in every way that matters. Jungkook sees me. Really sees me. The way I hum when I’m tired, the way I cut fruit into tiny pieces without thinking, the way I need slow mornings and extra lemon in my tea and someone who understands why I sometimes skip dinner just to paint or sleep. Yeonjun never noticed those things. He tried, but it never quite landed. Like we were speaking two different quiet languages.
You exhaled softly, careful not to wake the man beside you.
I don’t even know how we dated, looking back. It just… happened. Schedules lined up for a while, we liked the same movies, the sex was fine. But it never felt like this. Never felt like my whole chest lights up when he walks into a room. Never felt like I’m choosing him every single day, even when life gets heavy. Never felt like a toddler climbing into bed between us and saying my name like it belongs to her.
The comparison settled in your bones, clear and calm.
Yeonjun is a good person. A friend. Someone I genuinely hope finds someone who loves coffee and gentle routines the way he does. But he’s not for me. Not anymore. Maybe he never really was. It was easy in the way friendship is easy — no sparks, no ache, no fear of losing something because you never risked enough to have it.
You turned onto your side, facing Jungkook fully. In the low light his tattoos looked softer, his shoulders broader, the arm around you heavy with sleep and devotion.
This… this is the kind of easy that scares me because it matters. Slow mornings. Ellie reaching for me first. Him letting the whole world think I’m her mom and not correcting them. Slow, deep nights where he takes his time like he’s learning me all over again after years apart. This is the kind of easy that feels like love, not like settling.
You pressed a soft kiss to his chest, right over his heart, and felt him stir just enough to pull you closer in his sleep.
Sorry, Yeonjun. You’re a nice guy. But I’m not going back to easy-that-doesn’t-feel-like-love.
Not when I finally have the real thing right here.
okay I need HELP 😭
please drop me a bunch of boy AND girl names — I’m starting new projects and my brain is stuck recycling the same five names like it’s a cursed playlist
I need variety. drama. elegance. chaos. give me soft names, powerful names, unique ones, classic ones, names that sound like they belong to a villain, a prince, a heartbreak, a main character… ALL of it
and before anyone asks — yes, I do have other names saved, but those are under LOCK AND KEY because I plan to use them for future pets or babies and I refuse to ruin the vibe early
so please… feed me names. I am starving creatively
I don’t mean to be annoying so feel free tô completely ignore me, but why do you not write for hueningkai? are you an ot4 moa? 😭 anyways love your work!
omg you’re not being annoying at all, don’t worry☺️ and noo I’m not ot4 (honestly I don’t really get how people support a group but only focus on one or two members… I have a big heart, I support all ♥️). just very selective with who my writing muse decides to adopt lol
actually, I’ve never even tried writing for Kai, or Ni-ki, Renjun or Jisung… I think I might have some kind of protective instinct over them?? like my brain instantly goes into big sister mode “I must protect you, my precious!!”
I literally cannot write or even read anything smut or suggestive about them, my soul just rejects it 😭 so yeah… that’s just me being me
but I might try writing some fluffy stuff for them at some point! I’ll try to include them in future projects and see if I can get used to it… but smut? yeah no, absolutely not, I refuse to do that to my babies 😤
and thank you so much for your kind words btw, that really means a lot 🥹💗
₊˚⊹♡ 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ♡⊹˚₊
౨ৎ click on the titles… if you’re curious ౨ৎ
♡ kpop ♡
enhypen ↳ some lines should not be crossed… and won’t be.
↳ sunghoon
୨୧ the scent of red | part 1 posted — link
୨୧ the scent of red | part 2 posted — link
gothic romance, dark intimacy, something a little dangerous ♡
txt (feelings tend to get out of control here…)
↳ yeonjun
୨୧ after hours posted — link secret relationship,idol!au, quiet longing, secret relationship, light jealousy/possessiveness, soft touches, smut ♡
୨୧ a series of you & me posted — link idol!au, fluffy, sweet, simple, like falling in love slowly ♡
୨୧ a long way from the playground posted — link (long fic) childhood love, friends to lovers,mutual pining, fluff, growing up, staying anyway ♡
୨୧ ruined by her ongoing — link college au, toxic situationship, smut, angst, hurt no comfort (or is there?) reader as the villain core,bad decisions, worse feelings, and no intention of fixing it ♡
↳ soobin
୨୧ the best friend theory ongoing — link emotionally messy, smut, hot gay best friend rumor, morally gray love,college!au, best friends to lovers, touch-starved idiots, college!au, best friends to lovers, ♡
୨୧ the hidden sequence ongoing — link something is wrong with time. and with you. sci-fi, thriller, romance, fantasy, slow-burn, bit fluff fun ♡
୨୧ love without a counter charm ongoing — link hogwarts au, slow-burn romance, fluff, magic, softness, comfort read, and choosing someone anyway ♡
↳ beomgyu
୨୧ two pieces posted — link historical au, slow burn romance, friends to lovers, gentle love, poetic, patience, a love that takes its time ♡
bts
↳ jungkook
୨୧ the man who forgets every morning posted — link loving someone who has to meet you again… every day, romance, angst, slow burn, hurt/comfort, slice of life, bittersweet♡
୨୧ the alphabet sex playlist posted — link explicit, smut anthology, a collection of very bad decisions ♡
୨୧ still human at the end of the world ongoing — link zombie apocalypse, long fic, slow-burn situationship to lovers, psychological survival, angst, emotional intimacy, smut, the world ends. feelings don’t. ♡
nct ↳ jaehyun. always jaehyun.
୨୧ checkmate, rival (jaehyun × fem!reader) posted — link college au, rivals to lovers, slow burn, smut… but soft in the end ♡
♡ other worlds ♡
twilight ↳ jasper. always. ♡
spider-man ↳ love, but make it hurt ♡
umbrella academy ↳ five. forever means forever. ♡
harry potter ↳ magic and very questionable decisions ♡
₊˚⊹♡ notes ♡⊹˚₊
Some works are +18 only / mdni
no minors. ever.
all works are fictional
tags, tropes, and warnings will be listed per fic
this masterlist will grow as my sanity declines.
please don’t repost or translate without permission
everything here is fictional
tag list aways open.
Att!!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
𝜗𝜚 THE BEST FRIEND THEORY 𝜗𝜚 𝓈𝒾𝓍
𝒸𝒽𝑜𝒾 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝒷𝒾𝓃 × 𝒻𝑒𝓂!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓈𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: your best friend is unfairly gorgeous the kind of gorgeous that makes strangers turn twice luckily… he’s gay so it’s harmless when he pulls you into his lap during movie night harmless when he braids your hair while you rant about bad dates harmless when he kisses your temple before exams right?
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮: college au, slow burn → intense burn, smut
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝒾𝓷𝓰𝓼: friends to lovers, manipulation themes, emotional dependency, baby trapping, dirty talk, smut, mdni, multiple orgasms, morally gray, obsessive behavior, graduation, families, she has no idea, he has every idea, please read responsibly ♡
౨ৎ ˖ 𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒 ♡ hi loves. i had some problems updating tbft, so i really hope the chapter content wasn’t altered or deleted.... i’ve been trying to update it since yesterday and couldn’t, but now it finally seems to have worked!
this chapter isn’t exactly how i wanted it to be because i lost my notes for the future chapters of this fanfic -.- so i had to write it based on what i could remember lol. right now i’m finishing the last chapter so i can post everything for you soon! i’ll probably be posting the rest within 1 to 3 days, so get ready.
i also have new fanfics active on my profile, the soobin core era is still going strong <3 my asks are open, and if any request catches my attention, i might write it when i have time!
this chapter is the long one. the last semester. the pharmacy. the families. the final stretch before everything changes and neither of them fully knows it yet — well. one of them does. reblogs keep me breathing. i mean it every time ♡ tag list is open for this and all my other works. for now, that’s it
xoxo, v.
౨ৎ ˖ 𝔀𝒹𝓼: 14k.
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓎𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ˖ ݁dress – taylor swift, shameless – camila cabello, sweater weather – the neighbourhood, killer queen – 5 seconds of summer, love talk – wayv, call it what you want – taylor swift, i wanna be yours – arctic monkeys, peaches & cream – kai, love on the brain – rihanna, do i wanna know? – arctic monkeys, until i found you – stephen sanchez
“Be patient. Let it happen naturally.”
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝒾𝓍 ✧ ɞ˚‧。⋆
January arrives like a door swinging open onto cold air — sudden, inevitable, the kind of thing you knew was coming and somehow still aren't ready for. Final semester. Last stretch. The end of something enormous that they've been inside so long it stopped feeling like an ending and started feeling like just the way things are.
The campus wakes up with a different kind of energy — quieter in some ways, louder in others. Seniors move through the quad with that specific expression of people who can see the finish line and aren't sure whether to sprint or stop and look around one more time. She feels it in her chest every morning: the particular anxiety of being almost done, which is somehow more terrifying than being in the middle of it. Almost done means having to figure out what comes next. Almost done means the structure she's been living inside for four years dissolves and something else has to take its place.
She doesn't think too hard about what that something is.
Soobin is already at the kitchen counter when she comes out most mornings — his things, her kitchen, this blurred arrangement that stopped being temporary somewhere around week three and never found its way back. Coffee made before she asks. Her mug on the left because he noticed she always reaches left first. The specific brand of creamer she likes on the second shelf because the first shelf gets too cold near the back and the creamer separates if it gets too cold and she complained about that once, months ago, and he has apparently filed it away alongside every other small detail of her existence.
She stopped noticing the small things. That's the part that matters — not that he does them, but that she stopped noticing, which means she started expecting, which means the absence of them would register as lack rather than normal. He built a floor under her feet so quietly that she forgot there was ever anything beneath her but his hands.
Thesis drafts take up most of January. She works at the dining table most evenings and he works across from her, his own pages spread, and they've developed a rhythm of productive silence broken by murmured questions and the occasional shared snack and the way he reaches over without looking to refill her water glass whenever it gets low. She's told three separate people that she works better with him there than she ever did alone, and she means it the way you mean true things — carelessly, without examining why it's true or when it became that way.
Beomgyu texts her one Thursday: you two are basically married. i'm sending a gift registry.
She sends back a middle finger emoji and doesn't show Soobin.
He already knows what Beomgyu thinks. He's known for a long time. He finds it useful.
The stress peaks in February the way it always does — deadlines compressing, every professor deciding this is the week to assign the difficult thing, her sleep getting thin and her temper getting shorter and the specific hormonal cocktail of finals-adjacent anxiety making her feel like her body is slightly too loud for her skin. She knows this version of herself. She doesn't like her but she recognizes her.
Soobin recognizes her too.
He shows up one evening with a heating pad she didn't ask for — it's not her period, just tension across her lower back — and a packet of the good painkillers and a container of whatever his mother used to make that involves ginger and enough warmth to soften the worst edges of a bad week. He sets everything on the coffee table without ceremony, drops onto the couch beside her, and pulls her sideways into him with one arm while he opens his own laptop with the other like this is just how evenings go now.
"You didn't have to," she says, already reaching for the ginger thing.
"Didn't have to do what?" he says, which is the only answer he ever gives to gratitude, which is the way he makes it feel like breathing — like something that just happens, like oxygen, like of course, why would there be any other option.
She eats the whole container. He doesn't comment. Just keeps working, one hand eventually drifting to her knee where it rests for the rest of the night, thumb making those slow absent circles she's stopped registering as anything except warmth.
Later — much later, the drafts put away, the apartment quiet — she ends up in his lap with her mouth on his jaw and his hands under her shirt and the particular urgency of people who've been sitting very close to each other for too many hours and have reached the natural end of the tension that produces. They've stopped discussing it. It just happens now the same way the coffee happens — naturally, without ceremony, an arrangement that suits them both. She tells herself this because it's comfortable. He lets her tell herself this because it's useful.
"Stay," he says against her throat, the word barely above a breath, which she understands to mean in my bed tonight, because she still sometimes retreats to the pull-out when the evening ends with them tangled on the couch rather than moving to the bedroom, a small preservation of the idea that this is still flexible, still a choice being made, still something she could step back from if she decided to.
She goes to the bedroom.
She always goes to the bedroom.
It starts with the condom conversation.
Which isn't really a conversation so much as a moment, a Tuesday night, the two of them already past the point of slowing down, his mouth on her neck and her hands in his hair and the drawer of the nightstand open where the condoms live, except his hand pauses on the way there and he turns his face against her cheek instead, voice low and careful in the way he gets when he's about to suggest something he's already decided on.
"I want to feel you," he murmurs, and the words land in the specific register he uses when he wants them to bypass her thinking brain and go somewhere warmer and less rational. "Just once. Just us. I'll get the pill tomorrow — the expensive one, the one that actually works. I just—" his mouth drags to her ear "—I want to know what it feels like."
She should think about it longer than she does.
She doesn't.
"Okay," she breathes, which is the word her body has apparently decided is correct, and then his hands are moving again and the drawer stays closed and the particular desperate warmth of skin without barrier is enough to make the thinking brain go offline entirely.
Afterward — the warmth of him still inside her, both of them slow and wrecked and his face pressed to her shoulder — she thinks: tomorrow he'll get the pill, we'll be fine, this was a one-time thing because he asked so well and she was already too far gone to be sensible about it.
She doesn't notice that the drawer stays closed the next night too.
Or the night after.
What she does notice — weeks later, without connecting the dots she doesn't know are there to connect — is that the nightstand has been subtly reorganized. The things she reaches for most are at the front now. The condoms are still technically there, just toward the back, under some things, slightly less immediately available. She assumes she moved them herself.
She didn't.
He goes to the pharmacy on a Wednesday morning while she's in her 9am lecture.
He knows her schedule. He always knows her schedule.
He takes his time in the aisle — this is not a trip he makes carelessly, this is a trip he has thought about since the baby clothes in the mall, since he felt something unlock in his chest standing behind her at that shop window, since he looked at the tiny Eevee paw shoes and thought: I want this, and the wanting arrived so clean and certain that it frightened him briefly before it didn't anymore.
He picks up her period products first — the right ones, the specific brand she likes, the overnight pads she always forgets to buy herself, the liners because she mentioned once being caught without them. Sets them in the basket.
Then he takes his time with the vitamins.
Prenatal vitamins, it turns out, look remarkably like regular women's health supplements. Same aisle. Similar packaging. He picks up two bottles — compares them with the ones she already takes, the ones she keeps on the bathroom shelf — and selects the ones closest in appearance to her regular brand. Same amber bottle. Similar capsule color. Different contents.
He adds them to the basket without hurry.
He adds the after-pill she asked for too — the expensive one, the one he told her works — and pockets it on the way out of the pharmacy without putting it in the bag.
She never asks to see the receipt.
She never asks about the vitamins.
She takes them every morning the way she takes everything he sets in front of her: because he's always been right about what she needs, because she trusts him completely, because four years of being known this precisely has trained her body to accept care from his hands without question.
He watches her take the first one over coffee on a Thursday morning — still in his hoodie, hair unstyled, squinting slightly at the light — and feels something patient and enormous settle in his chest.
He was always going to get here.
He just had to be careful about the route.
The last semester has a specific quality to it that she can only describe as pressure — everything compressed, every deadline tighter, every emotion closer to the surface. She cries twice over thesis footnotes. She laughs too loud at things that aren't that funny. She wakes at 4am with her heart already going and her mind cataloguing every unfinished thing, and the only thing that reliably puts her back to sleep is the weight of his arm across her waist and the slow even rhythm of his breathing against her shoulder.
She's also, she notices with a detachment that feels like someone else's observation, the horniest she has ever been in her adult life.
She doesn't analyze this too deeply. Stress, she tells herself. The body compensating. Senior year hormones. The fact that she's been sleeping next to someone warm and large and genuinely excellent at the specific activity for months now and her body has recalibrated its baseline accordingly.
Whatever the reason, the effect is this: they fuck constantly.
Not carelessly — they're never careless, even when they're frantic, even when it's 11pm and she has a 7am alarm and she's the one climbing into his lap instead of sleeping like a reasonable person. There's always intention in it. His, she will understand later, has always been very specific. Hers is just want — uncomplicated, immediate, the particular hunger of a person who has been given something extraordinary and can't stop reaching for it.
Tuesday morning before her seminar — quick, efficient, him sitting on the edge of the bed with her straddling his lap, face in his neck, his hands gripping her hips to set the pace, both of them quiet because the walls are thin and it's 7am and the world hasn't fully started yet.
Thursday night after she finishes her last draft revision — slow, thorough, him taking his time with her in the particular way he does when they have nowhere to be, no urgency except the kind that builds and builds until she's shaking and he's still moving like he could do this forever.
Sunday afternoon — twice, because the first time ends too fast and he pulls her back before she's even caught her breath, mouth at her ear saying stay and his hands already finding the places that make staying the only possible response.
She stops keeping track of what's protected and what isn't. She trusts him. She has always trusted him. He said he'd handle it — the expensive pill, the good brand, we're covered — and she accepted that the way she accepts everything from him, which is to say: fully, without verification, because he's never been wrong before.
He is not wrong now either, technically.
He's just not doing what she thinks he's doing.
The tension doesn’t break so much as it simply stops pretending to exist.
It starts on a random Tuesday in late February, the kind of gray afternoon where the light never quite decides to commit. She’s been hunched over her laptop for six straight hours, shoulders tight, eyes burning, when Soobin appears behind her chair without a sound. His hands settle on her shoulders first, warm, sure, thumbs pressing into the knots with the exact pressure she likes because he’s mapped every inch of her tension over months.
“You’ve been staring at the same paragraph for twenty minutes,” he murmurs, voice low and close to her ear.
She exhales shakily. “It’s not working.”
“Then stop.”
He doesn’t wait for permission. He never really does anymore. His fingers slide under the collar of her hoodie (his hoodie) and peel it upward. She lifts her arms automatically, letting him strip it off her like it’s the most natural thing in the world. The cool air hits her bare skin and she shivers once. He notices. Of course he does.
He turns her chair slowly until she’s facing him. Then he drops to his knees between her spread thighs like it’s nothing — like kneeling for her is just another Tuesday evening task.
“Soobin—”
“Shh.” His palms glide up her thighs, pushing the soft fabric of her shorts higher until his thumbs brush the crease where leg meets hip. “Let me take care of you.”
He leans in and presses an open-mouthed kiss to the inside of her thigh, then another, higher. When he reaches the edge of her panties he hooks his fingers in the waistband and tugs them down with one smooth motion. She lifts her hips to help without thinking. The trust is bone-deep now; her body has learned that his hands only ever bring relief.
He doesn’t tease tonight. There’s no slow build, no playful denial. He simply spreads her open with his thumbs and puts his mouth on her like he’s starving.
The first lick is broad and wet and perfect. She jolts, one hand flying to his hair. He hums against her, the vibration shooting straight up her spine, and then he settles in, slow, deliberate drags of his tongue over her clit, two fingers sliding inside her without resistance because she’s already soaked from the sheer relief of his attention.
“Fuck— Soobin,” she gasps, hips twitching.
He doesn’t answer with words. He answers by curling his fingers, finding that spot that makes her see white, and sucking her clit into his mouth with steady, rhythmic pressure. The wet sounds fill the quiet apartment, obscene and intimate at the same time. Her thighs start to tremble around his ears. He doesn’t let up. He never lets up when he decides she needs to come.
She comes the first time with a broken cry, back arching off the chair, fingers tightening painfully in his hair. He rides her through it, gentling his tongue but keeping his fingers moving until the last spasm fades.
Only then does he pull back, lips shiny, eyes dark and focused entirely on her flushed face. He rises to his feet, towering over her, and strips his own shirt off in one fluid motion. His sweatpants follow. His cock is already hard, flushed dark, the tip glistening.
He doesn’t ask. He simply pulls her up from the chair, turns her around, and bends her over the dining table where her thesis pages are still scattered.
The wood is cool against her breasts. She braces her palms flat as he kicks her feet wider apart.
“Stay just like this,” he says quietly, one large hand smoothing down her spine.
Then he’s pushing inside her — bare, hot, thick — in one long, steady stroke.
They both groan. The feeling without the latex is overwhelming: every ridge, every vein, the blunt head pressing right against her cervix when he bottoms out. He stays there for a moment, buried to the hilt, letting her adjust, letting himself feel her clench around him raw.
“So tight,” he breathes, voice rough. “Always so fucking perfect for me.”
He starts moving — slow at first, deep rolls of his hips that drag against every sensitive spot inside her. One hand grips her hip, the other slides up her back to fist gently in her hair, not pulling, just holding. Anchoring.
The pace builds. The table creaks under them. Her moans turn into whimpers, then sharp cries as he angles his hips and hits that spot again and again. The second orgasm crashes into her without warning. She clenches hard around him, vision blurring, and he curses under his breath, pace faltering for the first time.
He doesn’t pull out.
He fucks her through it, harder now, chasing his own release. When he comes it’s with a low, guttural sound, hips snapping forward as he spills deep inside her, hot pulses that seem to last forever. He grinds against her ass, making sure every drop stays where he wants it.
She’s still bent over the dining table, chest heaving, when Soobin’s hands slide up her sides with deliberate slowness. His cock is still buried deep inside her, softening only slightly, and the feeling of him twitching against her walls makes her whimper softly. He doesn’t pull out. Instead, he leans down, pressing his broad chest fully against her back, caging her between the cool wood and the heat of his body.
His lips find the shell of her ear first.
“You feel that?” he murmurs, voice low and rough, breath hot against her skin. “How perfectly you take me?. Nothing between us.”
A shiver runs through her. She nods, unable to form words yet. His hips give one lazy roll, pushing his cum deeper, and she clenches around him instinctively. The wet, filthy sound it makes should embarrass her. It doesn’t. Not with him.
Soobin’s mouth trails down to her neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses along the sensitive column. He sucks lightly at the spot just below her ear, the one that always makes her melt, then soothes it with his tongue. His hands aren’t idle. One large palm smooths up her spine, fingers splaying wide between her shoulder blades, while the other slips around to her front, cupping her breast and thumbing over her nipple until it pebbles under his touch.
“Such a good girl for me,” he whispers between kisses, voice dripping with that quiet intensity he only ever uses when they’re like this. “Letting me have you exactly how I want. Just us.”
He starts moving again — not thrusting hard, but slow, deep grinds that keep him pressed flush against her, his cock stirring back to full hardness inside her slick heat. Every roll of his hips drags against that sensitive spot, making her gasp and push back against him. His free hand leaves her breast to trace down her stomach, fingers brushing lightly over her clit in teasing circles that match the rhythm of his hips.
She turns her head, seeking his mouth. He meets her instantly, kissing her deeply, tongue sliding against hers in the same unhurried way he’s fucking her. The kiss is messy, wet, full of shared breath and quiet moans. His lips are soft but demanding, sucking on her lower lip, nipping gently, then soothing with his tongue again. He tastes like her, and the realization sends another wave of heat through her body.
His hand on her back slides up to tangle in her hair, just holding her head in place so he can kiss her harder. The other hand continues its slow torture between her legs — fingers circling her swollen clit with perfect pressure, occasionally dipping lower to feel where they’re joined, where his cock stretches her and his cum leaks out around him with every shallow thrust.
“You’re getting wetter,” he breathes against her mouth, a hint of satisfaction in his tone. “My cum inside you… you like that, don’t you? Feeling me drip out while I’m still fucking it back in.”
She moans into the kiss, nodding frantically. Her walls flutter around him, and he groans, the sound vibrating through his chest into her back. The kissing grows more heated — tongues tangling, teeth grazing, desperate little sounds escaping both of them. His hips pick up a fraction more speed, still controlled, still deep, each thrust accompanied by another slow circle over her clit.
He breaks the kiss only to trail his lips along her jaw, down her throat, sucking another mark just above her collarbone. His fingers in her hair tighten slightly, tilting her head to give him better access. Every touch is reverent and possessive at once — his palm mapping her ribs, thumb brushing the underside of her breast, then back down to pinch her nipple lightly while his mouth claims her neck.
“So pretty when you’re like this,” he murmurs between kisses and soft bites. “All flushed and needy. Taking everything I give you.”
Her breathing is ragged now, hips rocking back to meet his slow thrusts. The combination of his cock moving inside her, his fingers on her clit, and his mouth worshiping every inch of skin he can reach is overwhelming in the best way. She feels completely surrounded by him, his heat, his scent, his quiet control.
Soobin kisses the corner of her mouth again, softer this time, then whispers against her lips:
“Turn around for me, baby. I want to see your face while I touch you.”
He pulls out slowly, both of them groaning at the loss, a thick trickle of his release sliding down her thigh. He helps her straighten and turn, his hands gentle but firm on her hips. When she’s facing him, he lifts her effortlessly onto the table, spreading her legs wide and stepping between them.
His mouth finds hers again immediately, deep, consuming kisses that make her dizzy. His hands roam freely now: one cupping her face, thumb stroking her cheek, the other sliding between her thighs to push two fingers back inside her cum-filled pussy, curling them slowly while his thumb works her clit.
The kissing never stops. Slow and filthy, then soft and sweet, then hungry again. He drinks every moan from her lips, every gasp, every broken whisper of his name. His fingers move in perfect rhythm, scissoring gently, spreading his cum and her wetness, preparing her for more.
He only pulls back when she’s trembling, lips swollen and shiny, eyes glassy with need.
“Look at me,” he says softly.
She does.
And in that moment, with his fingers buried inside her and his gaze locked on hers, she feels the depth of how completely she belongs to this, to him, even if she still calls it friendship.
Soobin’s fingers are still buried deep inside her, curling slowly, when he pulls back just enough to look at her properly. His eyes are dark, pupils blown wide, but his voice stays soft, almost reverent.
“Look at you,” he murmurs, thumb stroking her clit in lazy circles while his other hand cradles her jaw. “Sitting on the table all spread open for me… so fucking beautiful.”
She bites her lip, cheeks burning under his gaze. “Soobin… you don’t have to say that every time.”
“But I do,” he replies instantly, leaning in to press a slow, deep kiss to her mouth. When he pulls away, his fingers keep moving. “Because it’s true. Every inch of you drives me crazy. I’ve wanted this for so long… wanted you like this.”
Her breath hitches as he curls his fingers again, hitting that spot that makes her thighs tremble. “You already have me,” she whispers, voice shaky. “You know that.”
A small, satisfied smile curves his lips. “Yeah… I do. And I’m never letting go.”
He withdraws his fingers slowly, making her whimper at the loss, then brings them to his mouth and licks them clean without breaking eye contact. She watches, mesmerized and flushed.
“Soobin—”
“Shh. Let me worship you properly tonight.” His hands slide up her thighs, spreading them wider as he leans down. His mouth starts at her collarbone, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses along the line. “You’ve been so stressed with the thesis… let me take care of every part of you.”
He trails lower, lips brushing the swell of her breasts, then down her stomach. Every kiss is deliberate, slow, like he’s mapping her. “This spot right here,” he murmurs against her ribs, sucking lightly, “makes you shiver every time.” He proves it by doing it again, smiling when she gasps.
“You remember everything,” she breathes, fingers threading through his hair.
“Of course I do.” His voice is low, intimate. “I’ve been paying attention for years. Every sound you make, every place that makes you wetter… all mine to learn.”
He moves back up, mouth finding the sensitive skin just below her ear while his hands roam — one palm smoothing over her hip, the other cupping her ass, squeezing gently. “Tell me how it feels, baby. Tell me what you need.”
“It feels… so good,” she moans softly as his fingers trace circles on her inner thigh. “Your hands are everywhere. I can’t think when you touch me like this.”
“Good,” he whispers, nipping at her jaw. “You don’t need to think. Just feel. Just let me love on you.”
He kisses down her neck again, slower this time, sucking a faint mark into the hollow of her throat. “This neck… always smells like your shampoo and a little like me now.” He inhales deeply, then licks the spot. “Fuck, I love that.”
She arches into him, a soft laugh escaping despite the heat building again. “You’re so obsessed.”
“With you? Yeah.” His eyes meet hers, serious and heated. “Completely. Every curve, every sound, every time you say my name like that.”
His hands slide under her thighs, lifting her slightly as he kisses lower, across her stomach, tongue dipping into her navel. “This little spot right here always makes your hips twitch.” He demonstrates, and she does exactly that, giggling breathlessly before it turns into a moan.
“Soobin, please… I need more.”
He looks up at her, chin resting on her lower stomach, eyes dark with promise. “Patience, baby. I’m not rushing tonight. I want to taste every part of you first. Tell me, does this feel good?” He presses a kiss just above her mound, then another on the inside of her thigh.
“Yes— fuck, yes,” she gasps, legs spreading wider on instinct. “Your mouth is so warm… I love when you kiss me there.”
He hums in approval, the vibration traveling through her skin. “Good girl. Keep talking to me. I love hearing how much you need me.”
His palms stroke up and down her sides, thumbs brushing the undersides of her breasts as his mouth continues its slow worship — kissing, licking, sucking gently on every inch of skin he can reach. He pauses at her hip bone, biting lightly, then soothing with his tongue.
“You’re shaking,” he observes softly, voice full of quiet pride. “Already so sensitive for me. That’s because your body knows who it belongs to now, doesn’t it?”
She nods, breath coming in short pants. “It does… it’s yours, Soobin. All of it.”
His eyes flash with something deep and satisfied. He rises slightly, capturing her mouth in another slow, filthy kiss while his hands continue exploring — squeezing her ass, tracing her waist, thumbs circling her nipples until they’re tight and aching.
“Say it again,” he whispers against her lips, voice husky. “Tell me who you belong to.”
“You,” she breathes, kissing him back desperately. “I belong to you.”
He groans softly into the kiss, one hand sliding between her legs again to tease her entrance with two fingers. “That’s my girl. So perfect. So mine.”
The touching never stops — slow, reverent strokes mixed with firmer grips, every movement designed to make her feel completely adored and completely claimed at the same time. His mouth stays busy on her skin, murmuring praises between kisses.
“You’re so soft here… so warm… I could spend hours just touching you like this.”
She whimpers, hips rocking against his hand. “Soobin… I’m getting close again just from this.”
“Then come for me whenever you want, baby,” he murmurs, kissing her deeply once more. “But I’m nowhere near done worshipping you tonight.”
She’s still trembling from his slow worship, thighs spread wide on the dining table, when Soobin straightens up and cups her face with both hands. His thumbs brush her flushed cheeks, eyes locked on hers with that quiet intensity that always makes her stomach flip.
“Baby,” he murmurs, voice low and rough around the edges, “you’re so good for me. Letting me touch you everywhere… but I need your mouth now. Can you do that for me?”
Her breath catches. She nods quickly, lips parting. “Yes… I want to. I love making you feel good too.”
A slow, satisfied smile spreads across his face. “That’s my girl. Come here.”
He helps her slide off the table, legs still shaky, and guides her gently down until she’s on her knees in front of him. The apartment floor is cool against her skin, but the heat radiating from his body makes her forget everything else. His cock stands hard and flushed in front of her, still slick from being inside her earlier, the tip glistening with a mix of their arousal.
Soobin threads his fingers gently through her hair. “Look at me while you do it,” he says softly. “I want to see your eyes.”
She looks up at him, heart racing, and wraps one hand around the base of his thick length. He’s big, always has been, and the weight of him in her palm feels familiar and intoxicating. She leans in and presses a soft, open-mouthed kiss to the head, tasting the salty tang of him mixed with her own wetness.
“Fuck…” Soobin hisses, his grip tightening slightly in her hair. “Just like that. Start slow, baby. I want to feel every second.”
She obeys, licking a long, slow stripe from base to tip, swirling her tongue around the sensitive head before taking him into her mouth. The groan that escapes him is deep and guttural, his hips twitching forward just a little.
“Oh shit, your mouth feels incredible,” he breathes, watching her with dark, hooded eyes. “So warm… so wet. You always take me so well.”
She hums around him, the vibration making his cock twitch against her tongue. Encouraged, she takes him deeper, bobbing her head slowly while her hand strokes what she can’t fit. Her other hand rests on his thigh, feeling the muscle tense under her palm.
Soobin’s breathing grows heavier. “That’s it… just like that. Use your tongue more on the underside — yes, fuck, right there.” His voice drops lower, almost reverent. “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about this. You on your knees, looking up at me with those pretty eyes while you suck my cock.”
She pulls back for a moment, lips shiny, breathing hard. “Do you really think about me like that?” she asks, voice husky, giving him a few slow pumps with her hand. “Even when we’re just… hanging out?”
“Every day,” he admits, thumb stroking her cheek. “Sometimes when you’re studying across from me, all focused and biting your lip, I imagine pulling you under the table and letting you worship me while you try to stay quiet.” He guides her mouth back to him gently. “But this is better. This is real. Suck a little harder, baby — yeah, just like that. Good girl.”
She moans around his length, taking him deeper until he hits the back of her throat. She relaxes, swallowing around him, and Soobin curses under his breath, head tipping back for a second before he forces himself to look down again.
“God, you’re perfect,” he groans, hips starting to rock shallowly. “The way your throat squeezes me… fuck, I could stay in your mouth forever. You like tasting us together? My cum and your pussy all over my cock?”
She nods as best she can, eyes watering slightly but never breaking eye contact. The filthy words send heat straight between her legs again. She hollows her cheeks, sucking harder, tongue working the underside while her hand twists gently at the base.
Soobin’s grip in her hair tightens, but he’s still careful, never forcing her. “Slow down a little or I’m gonna come too fast,” he warns, voice strained. “I want to enjoy this. Want to watch you take every inch. You’re so fucking eager for it… my sweet best friend on her knees sucking me like she was made for it.”
She pulls off with a wet pop, stroking him firmly while she catches her breath. “I was made for you,” she whispers, pressing sloppy kisses along his shaft. “I love how you feel in my mouth… how heavy you are on my tongue. Tell me what else you want.”
His eyes darken further. “Lick my balls while you stroke me. Then take me deep again.”
She does exactly that — tongue laving over his sack, sucking one into her mouth gently while her hand works his cock in long, steady strokes. Soobin’s thighs tremble, a low moan escaping him.
“Fuck yes… just like that, baby. You’re so good at this. No one else could ever make me feel this way. Only you.”
She switches to the other side, then licks back up to the head and swallows him down again, taking him as deep as she can. Soobin’s hand guides her rhythm now, gentle but firm.
“Look at me,” he says again, voice rough. “I want to see how much you love having my cock in your throat.”
Their eyes lock. Tears cling to her lashes, but she doesn’t stop, humming and swallowing around him. Soobin’s breathing turns ragged.
“You’re gonna make me come if you keep that up,” he warns, though his hips keep moving in shallow thrusts. “But not yet… I still want to fuck you properly tonight. Want to fill you up again while you’re moaning my name.”
She pulls back just enough to speak, lips brushing the tip. “Then use my mouth however you want first. I can take it.”
Soobin pulls her up from her knees with gentle but firm hands, his mouth immediately claiming hers in a deep, messy kiss. He can still taste himself on her tongue, and the thought makes him groan softly into her mouth. He walks her backward until her hips hit the edge of the dining table again, then lifts her effortlessly so she’s sitting on it once more, legs wrapping around his waist.
“You’re incredible,” he murmurs against her lips, breaking the kiss only to trail his mouth along her jaw. “The way you looked up at me with my cock down your throat… fuck, I almost lost it.”
She smiles breathlessly, hands sliding up his chest. “I love making you feel like that. You always take such good care of me… I want to do the same for you.”
His eyes soften for a moment, something deep and possessive flickering behind the heat. “You do. More than you know.” Then his voice drops lower, hands sliding up her sides. “But right now, I need to taste you again. Spread your legs wider for me, baby.”
She obeys instantly, leaning back on her elbows on the table as he drops to his knees between her thighs once more. His large hands grip her inner thighs, spreading her open, and he stares at her glistening pussy with open hunger.
“Look at this pretty little pussy,” he says, voice rough with want. “All wet and swollen from my cock and your mouth. Still leaking my cum… that’s so fucking hot.”
She whimpers, hips twitching. “Soobin… please.”
“Please what?” he asks, pressing a soft kiss to the inside of her thigh, then another higher up. “Tell me. I want to hear you say it.”
“I want your mouth on me,” she breathes, cheeks burning. “Please lick me… make me come with your tongue.”
A low, satisfied sound rumbles in his chest. “Good girl. So honest for me.”
He doesn’t tease this time. He dives in, licking a broad, slow stripe from her entrance up to her clit, tasting the mix of their arousal. She gasps sharply, one hand flying to his hair.
“Oh god— Soobin!”
He hums against her, the vibration sending sparks through her body. “You taste so good,” he murmurs, pulling back just enough to speak. “Sweet and a little salty from us… I could eat you for hours.”
His tongue circles her clit with precise, firm strokes, then flattens to lap at her entrance, pushing inside her as far as it can go. She moans loudly, back arching off the table.
“Yes— right there,” she pants. “Your tongue feels so good inside me… deeper, please.”
He obliges, fucking her with his tongue while his nose nudges her clit. Two fingers replace his tongue after a moment, curling upward to hit that perfect spot as his mouth latches onto her clit and sucks gently.
“Fuck, Soobin— I’m— I’m close already,” she cries, thighs trembling around his head. “Don’t stop… please don’t stop.”
“I won’t,” he promises, voice muffled against her. He looks up at her, eyes dark and intense. “Come on my tongue, baby. Let me feel you fall apart. You’re so beautiful when you come for me.”
His fingers pump faster, curling perfectly, while his tongue flicks rapidly over her clit. She’s gasping, moaning his name like a chant, hips grinding against his face.
“Soobin— oh fuck, I’m coming—!”
Her orgasm hits hard, walls clenching around his fingers, a gush of wetness coating his tongue. He doesn’t pull away, riding her through it with slow, soothing licks and gentle thrusts of his fingers until she’s shaking and oversensitive.
When she finally slumps back, breathing hard, he rises to his feet, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His cock is rock hard again, flushed and leaking.
He leans over her, kissing her deeply so she can taste herself on his lips. “Did that feel good?” he whispers.
“So good,” she sighs, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You always make me come so hard… I don’t know how you do it.”
“Because I know you,” he says simply, nipping at her lower lip. “Every spot, every sound, every way you like to be touched. You’re mine to please.”
She pulls him closer, kissing him again. “Then please fuck me now. I need you inside me again.”
He smiles against her mouth, voice low and promising. “Not yet, baby. I still want to play with these perfect tits first.”
Soobin’s words hang in the air, low and heated, as he leans over her on the table. His hands slide up her sides slowly, cupping her breasts and lifting them slightly, thumbs brushing over her already sensitive nipples.
“These perfect tits,” he murmurs, eyes dark with hunger. “I’ve been dying to give them the attention they deserve.”
She arches into his touch, a soft moan escaping. “Soobin… they’re not that special.”
He shakes his head, leaning down to press a reverent kiss to the swell of one breast. “Don’t say that. They’re fucking gorgeous. Soft, full, and they fit perfectly in my hands.” He squeezes gently, watching her reaction. “See? Made for me.”
He lowers his mouth to her left nipple, sucking it into his mouth with slow, deliberate pulls while his hand kneads the other breast. She gasps, fingers threading through his hair again.
“Oh— that feels so good,” she breathes. “Your mouth is so warm… suck a little harder.”
He does exactly that, hollowing his cheeks and flicking his tongue over the stiff peak. “Like this?” he asks, pulling back just enough to speak before switching to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment.
“Yes— fuck, yes,” she whimpers, back arching off the table. “I love when you play with my boobs… it goes straight between my legs.”
Soobin hums in approval, the vibration traveling through her nipple. “Good. Because I could do this all night.” He switches back and forth, licking, sucking, and gently biting, leaving faint red marks on the soft skin. “They get so hard for me… look at them. So pretty and sensitive.”
His free hand continues kneading the neglected breast, rolling the nipple between his fingers, pinching lightly until she’s squirming beneath him.
“Tell me how it feels,” he says, voice rough as he looks up at her, lips shiny. “Talk to me while I worship these.”
“It tingles… everywhere,” she pants, hips rocking uselessly against nothing. “Every time you suck, I feel it in my clit. You’re making me so wet again, Soobin.”
“That’s exactly what I want,” he growls softly, sucking harder on one nipple while twisting the other. “I want you dripping for me. Want your pussy aching while I take my time with your tits.”
He presses them together, burying his face between them, licking and kissing the valley. “So soft… so warm. I love how they spill over my hands.” He nips at the underside of one, then soothes it with his tongue. “You have no idea how many times I’ve stared at you in those tight shirts, imagining doing exactly this.”
She laughs breathlessly, tugging his hair. “Pervert.”
“Your pervert,” he corrects, grinning against her skin before sucking a nipple back into his mouth. “Only yours. And you love it. Say it.”
“I love it,” she moans, voice breaking as he bites down gently. “I love when you’re obsessed with my body… love how you touch me like I’m yours.”
“You are mine,” he says firmly, switching breasts again, lavishing the same slow, filthy attention on the other. His hips press forward, letting his hard cock rest against her inner thigh, hot and leaking. “These tits are mine to play with, to suck, to mark. Every time you wear that blue dress, I’m going to remember how they look right now — all flushed and covered in my mouth.”
She whimpers louder, one hand reaching down to stroke his cock slowly. “Then mark them more… please. I want to feel you tomorrow when I’m trying to study.”
Soobin groans, hips bucking into her hand. “Fuck, baby. You’re going to kill me.” He sucks harder, leaving a visible hickey on the inner curve of one breast, then another on the other side. “There. So everyone knows who these belong to, even if they can’t see.”
His tongue swirls around her nipples again, alternating between soft licks and firm sucks while his hands squeeze and mold her breasts. She’s panting now, thighs clenching around his waist.
“Soobin… I need you inside me,” she begs, voice shaky. “I’m so empty… please fuck me.”
He pulls back slightly, lips red and swollen, eyes blazing. “Not yet. Turn over for me first. I want you on your hands and knees.”
Soobin steps back just enough to give her room, his hands steady on her hips as she turns over on the dining table. She braces herself on her forearms, arching her back instinctively, ass presented to him. The position makes her feel exposed and desired at the same time, completely open for whatever he wants.
“Fuck, look at you,” he breathes, voice thick with lust. One large hand smooths down her spine, then cups her ass, squeezing firmly. “So pretty like this. Bent over and waiting for me.”
She glances back at him over her shoulder, cheeks flushed. “Is this how you want me?”
“Exactly like this,” he replies, stepping closer until his cock rests heavy against her ass. He rubs the thick length between her cheeks slowly, teasing. “Ass up, back arched… my perfect girl. You’re dripping down your thighs. All that from me playing with your tits?”
“Yes,” she admits, pushing back against him. “Everything you do makes me wet. Please, Soobin… I need you inside me now. I’ve been waiting.”
He groans, gripping her hips tighter. “You beg so sweetly. How can I say no to that?”
He lines himself up, the blunt head of his cock nudging her entrance, still slick from her earlier orgasm and his precum. With one slow, deliberate push, he sinks into her from behind — bare, deep, stretching her perfectly.
Both of them moan loudly at the feeling.
“Oh my god— Soobin,” she gasps, fingers curling against the table. “You’re so deep like this… I can feel every inch.”
“That’s right,” he says, voice strained as he bottoms out, hips flush against her ass. “Feel how well you take me? Your pussy was made for my cock bunny.”
He stays still for a moment, letting her adjust, one hand rubbing soothing circles on her lower back while the other grips her hip. Then he starts moving, slow, powerful thrusts that drag against every sensitive spot inside her.
“Fuck, you’re tight,” he groans, picking up a steady rhythm. “So warm and wet… gripping me like you never want me to leave.”
She pushes back to meet his thrusts, moaning with each deep stroke. “Harder… please. I can take it. I want to feel you tomorrow.”
Soobin’s grip tightens, and he gives her what she asks for — snapping his hips faster, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the apartment. “Like this? You want me to fuck you like I own you?”
“Yes— yes, just like that,” she cries out, head dropping forward. “You do own me… fuck, right there— don’t stop!”
He angles his hips, hitting that perfect spot over and over, one hand sliding around to rub her clit in tight circles. “That’s my good girl. Taking my cock so well in this position. Your ass looks incredible bouncing against me.”
He leans over her, chest pressing to her back, and presses open-mouthed kisses along her shoulder. “Tell me how it feels, baby. Tell me you love getting fucked like this.”
“I love it,” she moans, voice breaking with every thrust. “I love when you fuck me from behind… so deep, so rough. Your cock is hitting everything— I’m gonna come again if you keep going.”
“Then come,” he growls against her ear, thrusting harder. “Come on my cock while I’m buried inside you. I want to feel you squeeze me.”
His fingers move faster on her clit, and his pace turns punishing — deep, relentless strokes that make the table creak beneath them. She’s whimpering and moaning, pushing back desperately.
“Soobin— I’m close— fuck, I’m coming—!”
Her second orgasm crashes over her, walls clenching hard around his cock. Soobin curses, slowing his thrusts to ride her through it, but not stopping completely.
“That’s it… good girl. Milk my cock with that tight pussy,” he praises, voice rough. He keeps moving through her spasms, drawing it out until she’s shaking.
When she starts to come down, he straightens up, hands gripping her hips again. “I’m not done with you yet. I want to fill you up one more time… but first, turn over. I need to see your face when I come inside you.”
Soobin doesn’t let her catch her breath for long. He slides his arms under her, one beneath her knees, the other around her back, and lifts her effortlessly off the dining table. Her legs wrap around his waist instinctively, arms looping around his neck as he carries her through the apartment. His cock, still hard and slick with her release, brushes against her ass with every step, making her whimper softly against his shoulder.
“Where are we going?” she murmurs, pressing lazy kisses to his neck.
“To bed,” he answers, voice low and rough. “I want you spread out properly under me. I want to look at you while I fill you up one more time.”
He kicks the bedroom door open with his foot and lays her down gently on the center of her bed, their bed now, really, the sheets already rumpled from the night before. The room is dim, only the soft glow from the hallway light spilling in, casting warm shadows across her body.
Soobin climbs over her immediately, settling between her spread thighs in missionary. He braces himself on his forearms, caging her in, his broad frame hovering just above hers. His cock nudges her entrance again, hot and insistent.
“Look at me, baby,” he says softly, one hand brushing damp strands of hair from her face. “I want your eyes on me the whole time.”
She meets his gaze, her own eyes glassy with lingering pleasure and fresh need. “I’m looking… I always look at you.”
He smiles, that small, secret smile, and slowly pushes back inside her in one smooth thrust. They both moan at the familiar stretch, the wet heat, the perfect fit.
“Fuck… still so tight,” he groans, bottoming out and grinding his hips in slow circles. “Even after coming… your pussy keeps pulling me back in.”
She wraps her legs higher around his waist, heels digging into his lower back. “Because I need you there. Deeper, Soobin… please. I want to feel you everywhere.”
He starts moving — long, deep strokes that press her into the mattress. Unlike the rough pace, this is slower, more intentional, every thrust deliberate and grinding. His hips roll against hers, pubic bone pressing against her clit with each downward motion.
“So good,” she gasps, hands sliding up his back, nails lightly scratching. “This position… I can feel all of you. Your cock is so deep… hitting everything.”
“That’s the point,” he murmurs, leaning down to kiss her deeply, tongue sliding against hers in time with his thrusts. “I want you to feel every inch. Want you to remember exactly who’s inside you, who’s taking care of you.”
He breaks the kiss to trail his mouth down her neck, sucking lightly at the marks he left earlier. One hand slides between them to cup her breast again, thumb circling the nipple while he continues those deep, steady rolls of his hips.
“Tell me how it feels now,” he whispers against her skin. “Being in your own bed, legs wrapped around me while I fuck you raw.”
“It feels… safe,” she breathes, then moans as he hits a particularly sensitive spot. “And dirty. And perfect. I love having you on top of me like this… love how heavy you are, how you fill me completely.”
Soobin groans, pace faltering for a second before he steadies again. “You have no idea what you do to me when you say things like that.” He thrusts a little harder, making the bed creak. “Your pussy is clenching around me so nicely… you’re going to make me come soon if you keep squeezing like that.”
She tightens her walls deliberately around him, smiling breathlessly when he curses. “Then come inside me. I want it. I want to feel you spill deep… want you to stay there after.”
His eyes darken. “Yeah? You want me to breed you tonight? Fill this pretty cunt until it’s overflowing?”
The word “breed” makes her whimper loudly, hips bucking up to meet him. “Yes… do it. Fill me up, Soobin. I’m yours.”
That seems to snap something in him. He kisses her hard, messy and desperate, while his hips pick up speed, still deep, but faster now, chasing his release while making sure she feels every thrust. His hand stays on her breast, squeezing and playing with her nipple as he drives into her.
“Come with me,” he pants against her mouth. “One more time, baby. Come on my cock while I come inside you.”
She nods frantically, one hand slipping between them to rub her clit in quick circles. The combination — his thick cock pounding deep, his weight pressing her down, his mouth on hers, his hand on her breast — pushes her over the edge again.
“Soobin— I’m coming— fuck!”
Her third orgasm hits her hard, walls fluttering and clenching rhythmically around him. Soobin groans loudly, burying his face in her neck as his own release crashes over him. He thrusts deep one final time and stays there, cock pulsing as he spills hot and thick inside her, filling her completely.
Soobin stays buried deep inside her, his weight a comforting blanket as their breathing slowly evens out. He presses soft, lingering kisses along her collarbone, her jaw, the corner of her mouth, never pulling out. The feeling of him still thick and warm inside her makes her hum contentedly, legs still loosely wrapped around his hips.
He shifts carefully, keeping them connected, and rolls them both until she’s on top, straddling him. But instead of letting her ride him hard, he pulls her down so her chest is flush against his, arms wrapping around her back to hold her close. Their faces are inches apart, breaths mingling.
“Like this,” he murmurs, guiding her hips into a slow, rolling grind. “Nice and deep. I want to feel every little movement.”
She rocks gently against him, the new angle letting him press even deeper. A soft moan escapes her as the head of his cock nudges that sensitive spot inside with every subtle shift.
“Soobin… you feel so good,” she breathes, eyes half-lidded as she looks down at him. “So full…”
His hands slide up and down her back in long, soothing strokes, one eventually cupping the back of her neck while the other rests possessively on her ass, encouraging her slow rhythm. “That’s it, baby. Just like that. No rush tonight. I want to make love to you until you forget everything except how we fit together.”
He lifts his head to kiss her, slow, deep, unhurried kisses that match the lazy roll of their hips. Their tongues slide together gently, savoring, tasting. Every time she sinks down fully onto him, he groans softly into her mouth, the sound vibrating through both of them.
“You’re so warm inside,” she whispers between kisses, forehead resting against his. “I love feeling you throb like this… like your body is telling me how much you need me too.”
“I do need you,” he replies, voice husky but soft. “Every day. Every night. This — being inside you, with nothing between us… it’s everything I’ve wanted.” He thrusts up gently to meet her next roll, grinding deep. “Feel that? That’s me loving you. Slow and deep, just like you deserve.”
She whimpers quietly, clenching around him as the pleasure builds in a warm, steady wave rather than a sharp peak. “Soobin… it’s so intimate like this. I can feel your heartbeat inside me.”
His arms tighten around her, one hand slipping into her hair while the other traces her spine. “Good. I want you to feel all of me.” He kisses her again, slower this time, then trails his lips to her ear. “You’re my safe place. My home. Let me stay right here and love you like this for as long as you need.”
They move together in a gentle rhythm — not frantic fucking, but something softer, deeper. Making love. Her breasts press against his chest with every roll, nipples brushing his skin. His hands never stop touching her: stroking her back, squeezing her ass lightly, cradling her face so he can look into her eyes.
“Kiss me again,” she murmurs.
He does, pouring everything into it — the years of quiet longing, the careful way he’s built this life around her, the overwhelming tenderness he only lets show when they’re like this. Their hips keep that slow, sensual grind, his cock sliding in and out in long, luxurious strokes that make her toes curl.
“You’re clenching so sweetly around me,” he whispers against her lips. “Squeezing me like you never want me to leave your body.”
“I don’t,” she admits breathlessly, nipping at his lower lip. “Stay inside me forever if you could.”
Soobin lets out a low, pleased sound, thrusting up a little deeper on the next roll. “One day I will. But tonight… just feel me loving you. No ending yet.”
He flips them once more with careful strength, settling back on top of her in missionary without ever fully pulling out. Now he’s the one setting the slow pace, hips rocking in deep, unhurried circles while he holds her gaze.
“Tell me you feel it too,” he says softly, brushing his nose against hers. “Tell me how much you love having me inside you like this.”
“I love it,” she gasps, legs tightening around him. “I love you inside me… making love to me. It feels like we’re the only two people in the world.”
“We are right now,” he murmurs, kissing her deeply again as their bodies continue that slow, intimate dance.
He doesn’t chase his orgasm. He simply savors her — every flutter of her walls, every soft moan, every time her fingers dig into his shoulders. The pleasure builds gradually, warm and overwhelming, like sinking into something endless and safe.
In the quiet of her bed, with the last semester pressing in from outside, they make love like time has stopped — slow, deep, and dangerously close to something far more permanent than either of them is admitting.
They stay locked together for a long time, bodies still joined, hips moving in that same slow, lazy rhythm. The pleasure has built into something warm and endless, a gentle wave rather than a crash. Soobin’s forehead rests against hers, their breaths mingling in the quiet dark of the bedroom.
“I’m close,” he finally whispers, voice rough but tender. “Been holding it for you… but I need to come now, baby. Need to fill you one last time.”
She nods, legs tightening around his waist, fingers stroking the back of his neck. “Come inside me. Please. I want to feel it… all of it.”
He kisses her deeply as his pace shifts — still deep and intentional, but with a little more urgency now. One hand slides between them to circle her clit with slow, perfect pressure while he thrusts. Their mouths stay connected, soft and open, sharing every moan and gasp.
When her fourth orgasm finally washes over her — slow, rolling, and devastatingly sweet — she clenches hard around him, whimpering his name into his mouth. That’s all it takes.
Soobin groans low and broken, burying himself as deep as he can go. His cock pulses inside her, spilling hot and thick in long, rhythmic waves. He keeps rocking gently through it, pushing every drop deeper, like he’s sealing something between them.
“Take it all,” he breathes against her lips. “That’s it… good girl. All for you.”
They stay like that, trembling and connected, until the last aftershocks fade. Only then does Soobin carefully pull out, a thick trickle of his release following. He doesn’t let the mess bother either of them. Instead, he rolls onto his back and pulls her on top of him, wrapping both arms around her body like he never plans to let go.
The aftercare begins without words at first.
He strokes her back in long, soothing lines, fingertips tracing her spine, then her shoulders, then down to the curve of her ass. His other hand cups the back of her head, threading gently through her damp hair. Soft kisses land on her forehead, her temple, the tip of her nose, quiet, reverent presses of his lips that say everything he doesn’t voice yet.
“You okay?” he murmurs eventually, voice low and warm in the darkness.
She nods against his chest, ear pressed over his heartbeat. “More than okay. I feel… floaty. Safe. Like nothing bad can touch me when I’m with you like this.”
A small, satisfied sound rumbles in his chest. “Good. That’s exactly how I want you to feel.” He presses another kiss to the top of her head. “You were perfect tonight. Took everything I gave you so beautifully. I’m so proud of you, baby.”
She smiles sleepily, nuzzling closer. “You always take such good care of me. Even when we’re… like that. Especially when we’re like that.”
“Because you’re mine to take care of,” he says simply, one hand continuing its slow strokes down her back while the other reaches for the nightstand. He grabs a soft towel he’d left there earlier (always prepared) and gently cleans between her thighs with careful, tender wipes. “There… better?”
“Mhm.” She sighs contentedly as he finishes and tosses the towel aside, then pulls the blanket up over both of them. “Stay like this? Don’t move away yet.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he promises, shifting them so she’s tucked perfectly against his side, head on his chest, one of her legs thrown over his. His arm curls protectively around her waist, hand splaying wide over her lower back. “I’ve got you. Sleep if you want. I’ll be right here.”
She traces idle patterns on his chest with her fingertip. “You always know what I need before I even ask. The towel… the way you hold me after… everything. How do you do that?”
He chuckles softly, the sound vibrating under her ear. “I pay attention. To every little thing about you.” His fingers keep stroking her hair, slow and rhythmic. “You’ve been carrying so much with the thesis and finals. You deserve to be taken care of like this. Deserve to feel loved and safe every single night.”
The word “loved” lands softly between them. She doesn’t pull away from it — just lets it settle in her chest like something warm and familiar.
“I do feel loved,” she whispers after a moment. “With you. Even if we still call this… whatever it is between best friends.”
Soobin’s arms tighten around her just a fraction. His voice stays calm, but there’s a depth of satisfaction underneath. “Then keep feeling it. Because I’m not stopping anytime soon.”
He reaches over and turns off the small lamp on the nightstand, plunging the room into comfortable darkness. The only sounds are their breathing and the distant hum of the city outside. He keeps holding her close, one hand never stopping its gentle caresses, down her arm, across her back, along her hip, grounding her, soothing every last bit of tension from her body.
“Close your eyes,” he murmurs. “I’ve got the whole night. Tomorrow I’ll make you breakfast, run you a bath if you’re sore, whatever you need. But right now… just let me hold you.”
She yawns softly, already drifting. “Love you, Soobin… thank you for always being here.”
He presses one final, lingering kiss to her forehead, eyes closing as he breathes her in.
“I love you too,” he whispers, so quietly she might not fully register it. “More than you know. Sleep now, baby. I’m right here.”
In the quiet afterglow, with his cum still warm inside her and his arms wrapped securely around her body, she falls asleep feeling completely cherished, completely safe, and completely his — even if she still believes it’s all harmless.
Soobin stays awake a little longer, listening to her breathing even out, one hand resting possessively over her lower stomach.
He smiles into the dark.
Everything was going exactly as planned.
The notebook gets a new entry around week six of the semester, written in the bathroom of her apartment while she's in the shower, his handwriting smaller than usual like he's containing something:
*Ovulation window opens Thursday. She has a seminar until 6. I'll have dinner ready. She always relaxes after eating. Be patient. Let it happen naturally. It always happens naturally with her.*
*She took the vitamins again this morning. Third week. She thinks they're the same ones.*
*She said I don't know what I'd do without you last night when I fixed her laptop. She said it like it was nothing. She doesn't know it's everything.*
He closes the notebook. Listens to the shower running. Thinks about the Eevee onesie and the tiny paw shoes and the annotated map of the city with the good school district circled in blue pen.
He thinks: we're so close.
He thinks: she just needs a little more time to catch up.
He puts the notebook back in the bag where it always lives — deep, under folded clothes, the corner just barely visible if you know to look for it — and goes back to the kitchen to finish dinner.
She comes out of the shower in his hoodie twenty minutes later, hair damp, smelling like her shampoo and a little like him, and the sight of her in his space, in his clothes, building a life in the shape he's been quietly constructing around her for years — it lands in his chest the way it always lands, like coming home.
"Smells good," she says, dropping into her chair at the table.
"Chicken," he says. "You said you were craving it."
She said that Tuesday. Offhand. In the middle of a different conversation.
She doesn't remember saying it.
He does.
It happens on a Thursday afternoon — late sun cutting through the crooked blinds in narrow gold strips, the apartment carrying the stale-coffee smell of a day spent working at home, the ceiling fan doing its slow whining rotation. She's curled on the couch in his hoodie, phone face-down on the armrest, something unresolved sitting between her shoulder blades that she can't quite name.
He's on the floor with his back against the couch, textbook open across his lap, thumb tracing the edge of page 187 the way he does when he's reading but also thinking about something else.
She drops the phone onto the armrest and exhales through her nose.
"So," she starts, and stops. Tries again. "Have you ever — been with a girl and a guy, like, at the same time in your life? Overlapping?"
His thumb stills on the page. He tilts his head two centimeters left — that listening posture she knows — and lifts his eyes slowly.
"Why now?" he asks, voice soft with a tiny hook at the corner of his mouth.
She shrugs inside the oversized sleeves, pulling both cuffs down until her hands vanish. "Just thinking. You talk about hot guys the same way you talk about hot girls. It feels easier for you. More natural."
He closes the book carefully. Sets it beside his thigh, edges aligned.
"Easier with what?" His torso shifts toward her; his knee brushes her calf where she's curled on the cushion above him and stays there, warm.
She doesn't move her leg. "With bodies. Touch. Everything. You don't flinch. Guy or girl — it's the same to you."
He rests his elbow on the cushion by her knee, face tilted up toward hers. "Does that bother you?"
"No." She shakes her head, a loose strand falling across her eye that she pushes back with a sleeved knuckle. "I think it's nice. You just exist like that. No categories."
The fan whines once. A gold bar of light slides across the bridge of his nose.
"So what do you think I am?" he asks, barely above a whisper.
She swallows. "Someone who likes people. In different ways. At once, or one after the other. Doesn't matter."
His thumb traces a slow circle on the book cover. His gaze flicks to her mouth for half a second.
"Would knowing change anything for you?"
Her stomach executes a slow, rolling flip. "No." Fast, then softer: "I mean — it wouldn't change what we're already doing."
He lifts his right hand. The backs of his fingers brush the inside of her wrist where the hoodie sleeve has slipped — dry, warm, almost accidental. Almost. His thumb settles over her pulse — no pressure, just resting, feeling the quick rhythm underneath.
"Good to know," he murmurs.
She feels the last piece click into place in the back of her mind and slide a drawer shut: bi. Of course. That explains the way he talks about bodies, the way he's never had a label that fit, the way he dated that one guy in high school and then no one seriously after. That explains all of it. She's not his girl — she's his safe person, his most trusted body, the one constant in a life that keeps its real desires in a quieter room.
She breathes out slowly.
"You're really good at being human," she says, trying for playful, landing somewhere rougher.
He smiles sideways — small, secret. "And you're really good at letting me be."
His thumb stays exactly where it is over her pulse.
The light shifts from gold to orange and neither of them moves and she settles into the version of him she's just constructed — bi, complicated, hers in the way that doesn't require explanation — and feels the relief of it, the neat click of a label that makes everything make sense.
She doesn't see him watching her settle.
She doesn't see the small satisfied thing that moves across his face when he feels her relax.
He was never bi.
He was never gay.
He is a man who has been in love with one specific woman for four years and has been willing to be anything she needed him to be in order to stay close enough to matter.
He keeps his thumb on her pulse a little longer.
Feels it slow.
Feels her trust him completely.
March.
The period tracker app on his phone — the one synced silently to hers since September, the one she has no idea he has — shows a seven-day window starting the fourteenth.
He doesn't change anything about how he acts during those seven days. That's the discipline of it, the thing he's practiced and refined over months of quiet watching: he doesn't become different during the window, he just becomes more of what he already is. More present. More warm. More inclined to touch her without reason, to pull her into him from behind in the kitchen while she's reading something on her phone, to end evenings by pulling her into the bedroom instead of letting her drift to the pull-out, which she almost never uses anymore but still theoretically could.
The fourteenth falls on a Friday. She has a seminar until six. He has dinner ready at six-thirty. She comes through the door already half-unraveling from the week — bag dropped, shoes kicked, the exhale of someone who has been holding herself together through a long day and can finally let the seams loosen — and walks straight into the kitchen where he's plating food and leans her forehead against his shoulder blade without a word.
He reaches back and puts his hand on her hip without turning around.
"Hard day?" he asks.
"The worst," she says into his shoulder.
"Sit down. It's ready."
She sits. He brings everything over. They eat with the window cracked, the early March air just beginning to smell like something other than winter, and she talks about the seminar and he listens the way he always listens — fully, with his eyes on her face, asking the questions that extend what she's saying rather than redirecting it. This is one of the things she tells Lia about him when Lia asks — he actually listens, like, actually — and she doesn't know that she's describing something he cultivated deliberately over years because the research he did on emotional connection in long-term partnerships said that attentive listening was the highest-rated quality in relationship satisfaction across all studies.
He did the research.
Of course he did the research.
After dinner she ends up on his lap on the couch — not because she made a decision, just because the gravitational pull between them at this point is essentially physics — and his hand finds the back of her neck and she closes her eyes and his mouth finds her ear and it proceeds the way it always proceeds from here: inevitable, warm, without ceremony.
She doesn't think about protection.
She doesn't think about anything except the warmth of him and the weight of the week leaving her body and how this, right here, is the only place in the world where everything quiet down.
He thinks about the window.
He thinks: this is how it was always going to happen — naturally, warmly, in the middle of an ordinary evening, without her knowing what it is.
He thinks: she'll understand later. She'll choose this later. She always chooses me eventually — I just have to be patient enough to let her arrive.
He pulls her closer.
She melts into him without question.
Outside, early spring comes in quietly through the cracked window, carrying the smell of something new beginning.
April arrives and the thesis is submitted and the relief of it is enormous and clean and she screams in the apartment at 11:47pm when the portal confirms receipt and Soobin picks her up from the floor and spins her once, laughing, and she's laughing too and the apartment smells like the celebration dinner he started at ten in case it finished early — because he knew it would finish around now, because he checked her submitted draft schedule three days ago and calculated the revision time she'd need — and everything is warm and good and full of the specific joy of something enormous finally being done.
They're drunk by one. Not sloppy-drunk — happy-drunk, the kind where everything is funny and the music is too loud and she ends up on the kitchen counter while he dances extremely badly in front of her and she's laughing so hard her stomach hurts, and he grabs her hands and makes her dance with him standing on the floor while she's on the counter so they're almost the same height and she cups his face and kisses him — sweet this time, soft, grateful — and feels the whole weight of this year, of this person, of this strange warm life they've built in the space between what she thought he was and what he actually is.
"We're going to graduate," she says against his mouth, the fact of it landing new each time she says it.
"We're going to graduate," he agrees, hands on her waist, steady.
She leans her forehead against his. Thinks about May. Thinks about the families coming and the gowns and the photographs and what comes after and the particular terrifying freedom of after.
"Are you scared?" she asks.
"No," he says, which is true. He has been building after for years. He knows exactly what it looks like. "Are you?"
"A little," she admits.
He pulls her closer. "I'll be there," he says. "Whatever comes after. I'm there."
She believes him completely.
She has no idea how literal he means it.
May arrives in three weeks and leaves a month of chaos in its wake — final presentations, departmental dinners, the strange suspended quality of last things, last lectures, last times walking routes she's walked four years of mornings. She takes photos of things she never photographed before: the library window. The bench near the science building where she ate lunch a hundred times. The coffee place two blocks over where he introduced her to the order that's been hers for two years now.
She texts one to him with the caption: this is because of you.
He texts back: all the good ones are.
She screenshots it and doesn't tell him.
He already knows.
The families arrive the Thursday before graduation.
It's been planned for weeks — both sets of parents, a restaurant in the city, the kind of dinner that requires a reservation and actual shoes and the specific performance of adulthood that comes with presenting your life to people who remember when you were smaller. She spends an hour getting dressed and changes twice and Soobin sits on the edge of her bed watching her with the patience of a man who genuinely does not care which dress she wears as long as she's in the room.
"The blue one," he says, when she holds up two options.
"You always pick the blue one."
"Because you always look best in the blue one." Flat. Obvious. Like this is not a compliment but a fact, which is exactly how he always delivers compliments, which is exactly why they land.
She puts on the blue one.
The restaurant is warm and candlelit and the tables are close enough together that everything feels intimate whether you want it to be or not. Her parents are already there when they arrive — her mother standing up immediately, arms open, the specific warmth of a hug from a woman who has been waiting to see her daughter for months and is not going to underdeliver on the reunion. Her father shakes Soobin's hand — firm, measured, the handshake of a man who is taking stock — and Soobin meets it evenly, which her father notices, which is the first point in Soobin's favor.
His parents arrive five minutes later. His mother is warm and effortlessly elegant in the way of women who have been comfortable for a long time. His father has Soobin's height and Soobin's quality of stillness and the specific observant quiet of a man who built something and would like to see who his son is becoming.
The table settles. Wine is poured. The conversation finds its feet.
She watches it happen without fully understanding what she's watching — the way the two sets of parents orient toward each other with a comfort that feels less like strangers getting acquainted and more like people who already have an opinion and are spending the evening confirming it. Her mother laughs at something Soobin's mother says and touches her arm and the gesture is too warm for first meeting, like they've been in the same orbit before and simply haven't occupied the same room until now.
She goes to the bathroom midway through the main course and comes back to find her father and Soobin in the corner of the conversation, the rest of the table temporarily occupied with something else, her father leaning forward slightly — not hostile but focused — and Soobin meeting every question with the easy confidence of a man who prepared for this meeting long before it was scheduled.
She watches from across the room for a moment before they see her.
Her father nods once. Deliberate.
Soobin catches her eye over the table — quick, barely a flicker — and she can't read it from here, except that it's warm.
She sits back down. Her mother squeezes her hand under the table.
"He's wonderful," her mother says quietly, very close to her ear. "He's always been wonderful."
She thinks: she means as a friend. She means it the way she always means it — Soobin is wonderful, what a good friend, what a lucky thing you found him.
She doesn't think anything more careful than that.
After dinner — families separating, hotel directions exchanged, hugs distributed — she and Soobin walk back to the apartment in the cool May evening with the city noise low around them. He has his jacket over her shoulders because she was cold three blocks ago and he took it off without being asked, which is, she thinks distantly, so completely him that she doesn't even think of it as remarkable anymore.
"My dad asked you about your plans," she says.
"I know. I told him."
She glances at him. "What did you tell him?"
"The truth." His hands are in his pockets, step unhurried. "That I have a position with my father's company starting in July. That I'm looking at apartments in this city. That I plan to be around."
She absorbs this. The position she knew about. The apartments — she hasn't heard about apartments. "Looking at apartments?"
"Casually," he says, which is not true at all, but he says it so evenly that it lands as true. "Just thinking about the next step. It makes sense to stay near campus for a while. We both have reasons to stay near campus."
She nods slowly. She doesn't ask why he's framing it as we — it just sounds right, it slots in beside all the other things that have started sounding right without her consciously deciding they should.
"He seemed to approve," she says.
"He asked good questions. I respect him." A pause. "He loves you. Wants to know you're taken care of."
The phrase lands softly and she doesn't examine it. Just walks beside him with his jacket over her shoulders and the city lights turning everything amber and thinks: this is what after looks like, maybe. This warm ordinary thing. This person walking beside her who knows her schedule and her coffee order and her worst fears and her best jokes and who has made himself so completely necessary that she stopped being able to locate the seam between where she ends and where he begins.
She hooks her pinky through his — the old habit, the childhood reflex, the one that means crowds and closeness and I don't want to lose you in this.
He hooks back.
They walk the last three blocks in comfortable silence.
The night before graduation she can't sleep.
This is not unusual — she's been a bad sleeper before big things her whole life — but the particular shape of this restlessness is different. It's not the thesis anxiety or the seminar-deadline 4am alarm-heart. It's something lower and stranger, something in her body rather than her mind, a low-grade wrongness she can't locate precisely. She's been a little off for the past week. Not sick exactly — nothing she could point to and name — just slightly not herself, a degree or two off her usual temperature, a faint nausea some mornings that she blames on stress and then forgets by afternoon.
She chalks it up to the enormity of tomorrow.
Soobin is asleep behind her — arm over her waist, face close to her shoulder, breathing slow and even. He fell asleep fast the way he always does after she stops moving, like her stillness is the signal his body was waiting for.
She stares at the ceiling.
She thinks about four years. She thinks about the girl who arrived at this school with a perfectly organized planner and a very clear idea of what the next four years would look like, and looks for the seam between that girl and this one — lying in a bed that has become shared so gradually she couldn't tell you which night the pronoun changed from his bed to our bed — and finds the seam is very thin. Almost invisible. The kind that a good tailor makes deliberately so you can't see the work.
She thinks: I'm really happy.
The thought arrives simply, without the guilty hedging she might have expected. She's really happy. This is her life and she likes it and tomorrow she's going to wear a gown and her parents will cry and Soobin will be right there the way he always is and after after comes and she'll figure it out — they'll figure it out, the we that has become natural — and everything is going to be fine.
She doesn't think about the slight wrongness in her body. She's tired and stressed and tomorrow is enormous and everything strange is explainable.
She turns over. Faces him.
In the dark his face is soft the way it gets in sleep — the careful composure he carries through waking hours gentled down to something younger, the boy inside the man, the person who has apparently been in love with her since they were nineteen and showed it in every way except the most obvious one.
She thinks: I love you.
The thought arrives without fanfare. Not a revelation — just a recognition, quiet and deep, like something that has been true for a long time finally being acknowledged in the right language.
She doesn't say it out loud.
But she tucks it close.
Closes her eyes.
And finally, finally, sleeps.
The next morning she wakes up to the smell of coffee and the sound of him moving quietly in the kitchen and the pale particular light of a May morning that is going to be a beautiful day. She lies there for a moment — ceiling, light, the distant sound of campus beginning to wake — and notices, without urgency, that her stomach feels faintly wrong again.
She ignores it.
Gets up. Gets dressed. Puts on the earrings he picked out last week when she held up options — simple silver ones he said would catch the light under the ceremony tent, because of course he thought about that.
He appears in the doorway with two mugs. "How do you feel?"
"Good," she says, and mostly means it. "Nervous. Ready."
He hands her the coffee. His thumb brushes her wrist when she takes it — just a second, just contact — and she feels it move through her the way it always moves through her, warm and sure and impossible to locate properly because it's everywhere now, woven into the whole fabric of her days.
"You're going to be great," he says.
"We're going to be great," she corrects.
He smiles — small, real, the one with the dimples — and it's a smile she doesn't quite have the context for, layered with a satisfaction she can't fully see.
"Yeah," he says quietly. "We are."
She drinks her coffee.
Outside, the May morning opens up clear and warm and full of beginnings.
And in her body, very quietly, something has already begun.
౨ৎ prev ✧ next — ⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃: 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓎𝑒𝓈 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝓈𝒶𝓎 ✧ ɞ˚‧。⋆
౨ৎ tag open: @black-startxt @buttersoob @idkguyslma @toru-saki @amelie-sama-blog @binniesbabe @ravenslocked @usuallyunlikelyfox @whoreforjongho
🩷 𝓊𝓅𝒹𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓅𝒾𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒾𝓀𝑒𝓈
𝓊𝓅𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓃𝓰 ꒰ა𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒲𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝒞𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇-𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓂໒꒱ 𝒸𝒽𝑜𝒾 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝒷𝒾𝓃 × 𝒻𝑒𝓂!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 ໒꒱ Hogwarts AU
꒰ა𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒲𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝒞𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇-𝒞𝒽𝓇𝓂໒꒱
𝒸𝒽𝑜𝒾 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝒷𝒾𝓃 × 𝒻𝑒𝓂!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 ໒꒱ Hogwarts AU
in the shadowed corners of Hogwarts, brilliant Ravenclaw Vaellen Clearwater accidentally casts Veriloquium Intimum on her best friend. a truth spell. one week of honesty. or so she thinks. for seven days, Soobin’s guarded heart spills out in small devastating truths. kept quills. shared scarves. chosen seats. words he never meant to say. a soft, giddy friends-to-lovers story about placebo courage, accidental magic, and the quiet bravery of loving someone for years before daring to name it. maybe love is not a grand confession. maybe it’s choosing the same chair every night until the truth sits down beside you.
໒꒱ 𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮: slow-burn romance • friends to lovers • hogwarts au • soft fantasy • comfort read
໒꒱ 𝓅𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔: soobin choi × fem!oc (vaellen clearwater)
໒꒱ 𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: fluff overdose • pining • accidental spellcasting • meddling friends • emotional vulnerability • soft jealousy • confession anxiety
໒꒱ 𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇’𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒: this story started with the idea of a truth spell… and what would happen if someone had to say everything they’ve been carefully hiding. it’s very soft, very quiet, and a little bit achey in that “almost” kind of way. the kind of love that shows up in small habits instead of big confessions. there’s a lot of pining, a lot of unsaid feelings finally slipping through, and that slow realization that maybe it was never one-sided at all. i really just wanted to write something gentle. something you can sit with.
i hope it feels like that ♡
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
♡ 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓈: ongoing
♡ 𝓉𝑜𝓉𝒶𝓁 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈: 5 (planned)
✧ 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉
𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝓁 (coming soon)
𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝒾𝓇𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝓉𝒽 (coming soon)
𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝒽𝑒 𝓀𝑒𝓅𝓉 (coming soon)
𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 (coming soon)
𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝒻𝓉𝑒𝓇 (coming soon)
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
♡ 𝓉𝒶𝑔 𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 (open)
send an ask or comment if you’d like to be added ♡
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
two friends orbiting each other for years, too afraid to close the distance… until a little “magic” pushed the truth into the open.
shared scarves.
lingering hands.
choosing the same seat, night after night.
vaellen and soobin aren’t perfect.
they’re nervous, distracted, a little oblivious.
but they’re gentle with each other in the ways that matter most.
and the friends… a little chaotic, a little nosy, but full of love in that very real, slightly embarrassing way.
maybe love really is just that simple…
and that brave.
With warmth, Vicky
XOXO
hii when is the best friend theory gonna be updated?
hello dear! i’ve been a bit busy with college lately, so i haven’t had much time to edit properly. but don’t worry, the next chapter is almost ready to post!
in the meantime, i just posted the prologue for a new book, The Hidden Sequence, it’s also a soobin story and i already have a few chapters prepared for it!
and if everything goes right, i should be able to update The Best Friend Theory by the end of this week. i’m planning around two more chapters so the story doesn’t get too long, and i also have a few one-shots from this universe that i’ll post eventually!
also… i actually wrote two different endings for this book.... i’m still deciding which one fits best, so we’ll see which version makes it to the final sequence…
thank you so much for waiting and supporting 🤍
THE HIDDEN SEQUENCE
sky(fem!reader) × jk × soobin × various
➥˖synopsis: things sky lee trusts: data. logic. exit strategies. her own brain.
things Sky lee does NOT trust: secret agencies that recruit her via encrypted message; twelve strangers she’s suddenly supposed to risk her life with; time travel (theoretical and emotional); whatever the hell is happening every time these boys look at her. (It's feelings. The variable is feelings. She's furious.)
➥ genre: sci-fi · thriller · romance · fantasy · slow-burn · bit fluff fun
⚠ warnings: mild violence · action sequences · smut · moral ambiguity · slow burn · found family · past trauma (non-graphic) · multiple love interests · time travel logic · mature (18+) · reader is a bit of an oc (cus she goes by her nickname sky and surname lee.)
➥ author's Note: hi loves, this has been living in my head for way too long, so I finally just did it. Reblogs truly keep me alive. I hope you fall as hard for these characters as I did. Buckle up, it’s a long one.
➥ chapter one ost: anti-hero – taylor swift · stay alive – bts · slow burn – kacey musgraves · exile – taylor swift ft. bon iver · ghost in the machine – sza ft. phoebe bridgers
Sky Lee has always been the smartest person in the room. She trusts data. Logic. Exit strategies. Her own brain.
What she does not trust: mysterious encrypted messages, a secret agency called Chronos, or the twelve strangers she’s suddenly supposed to risk her life with.
Chronos bends time to prevent catastrophes; they chose twelve agents from across the globe, strangers to one another, for reasons none of them fully understand. Sky’s mission: analyze. Adapt. Survive.
But the one variable she keeps miscalculating is them.
The one who stays calm when everything collapses.
The one who makes her laugh when she’s trying very hard not to feel.
The one who looks at her like she’s a problem he wants to solve.
And the one who was supposed to be a stranger—but somehow always knows exactly where to stand so she doesn’t feel alone.
Time is unstable. The past is never fully gone. And even the smartest can miscalculate when hearts are involved.
Across cities, decades, and broken timelines, Sky must learn the skill her mind never trained for: trusting someone else with the parts of her she keeps locked away.
Every mission, every split-team operation, every life-risking choice draws Sky closer to realizing that even the most precise mind can miscalculate the one variable she forgot to account for: the hearts of the people around her.
"Time is not a river.
It is a sequence of choices
someone forgot to tell you about."
— Chronos Internal Briefing · File 001 · Classified
The message arrived at 3:47 a.m. on a Tuesday, which was already suspicious, because nothing good has ever happened at 3:47 a.m. on a Tuesday. I know this as a fact. I have data! Not the kind you submit in a report — the kind you accumulate quietly over twenty-four years of being the person who notices things and wishes, sometimes, that she didn't.
— threat assessment: immediate. source: unknown. recommended action: don't panic.
secondary thought: already panicking. noted.
— my brain, immediately cataloguing this as a threat.
It wasn't a text.
It wasn't an email.
It appeared on my laptop screen, no notification sound, no sender, no trace in any folder I could find afterward, while I was mid-chapter of a paper I had no business writing at this hour, on a topic that my department had politely suggested I "reconsider pursuing."
Temporal anomalies in closed systems. Specifically: the mathematical possibility that certain points in time are not fixed, that they breathe, shift, collapse inward if the right pressure is applied at the right coordinates. The kind of thing that gets you laughed out of academic conferences, or, apparently, noticed by people you've never heard of. Apparently the latter.
The message was ten words long.
We know what you found. You've been chosen. Come alone.
Below that: coordinates. A date four days from now. A time 06:00, which felt aggressively optimistic for something this ominous. And at the very bottom, in a font so small I had to lean forward until my nose was nearly touching the screen
Burn this after reading. We'll know if you don't.
— they would know. i don't know how i knew that, but i did.
that was the part that scared me most. not the message. not the coordinates.
the certainty that they were not bluffing.
I closed the laptop.
I sat in the dark for exactly four minutes and thirty-two seconds. I counted, because counting is something I do when my brain refuses to stop running and I need to give it something harmless to chew on. Four minutes and thirty-two seconds of silence, of the refrigerator humming in the kitchen, of the city outside being its usual indifferent self at 3:48 a.m.
Then I opened the laptop again.
The message was still there. Of course it was. I hadn't actually expected it to be gone, that would have been too convenient, and nothing about my life has ever been convenient. but there's a small, stubborn part of me that keeps hoping reality will decide to cooperate. It never does.
— read it again. slower this time. look for what they're not saying.
"we know what you found" — not who you are. what you found.
they're not interested in me. they're interested in the work.
that's either reassuring or significantly more terrifying. undecided.
I read it four more times. Memorised the coordinates on the third pass, muscle memory, the way I've always absorbed numbers, like they're a language my brain learned before it learned anything else. Seoul. A district I didn't recognise. A building that didn't appear on any map I could pull up in the next twenty minutes of quiet, controlled searching.
The building didn't exist. Which meant either the coordinates were false, or the building wasn't supposed to be found.
— buildings that aren't supposed to be found are either very illegal
or very interesting.
probably both.
i was already calculating how long the flight would take.
I printed the message. One copy, no cloud backup, nothing stored anywhere I couldn't physically control. Then I took it to the kitchen sink, held it over the drain with a lighter I only own because I went through a candle phase two winters ago and never threw it out, and I watched it burn.
The paper caught fast. It always does. There's something almost peaceful about watching something disappear — the way the edges curl inward, the way the words go last, like they're the part that wants most to stay. The smoke rose in a single thin line and dissolved into the kitchen ceiling, and then it was gone, and the only place that message existed anymore was inside my head.
Which is, as it turns out, the only place they needed it to be.
My name is Sky Lee.
I'm twenty-four years old.
I live alone in a flat that's too small for my books and too quiet for my thoughts. I have a postgraduate degree in theoretical physics, a minor in behavioural analysis, and a habit of noticing things people would rather I didn't.
I'm also, apparently, chosen.
For what, exactly? I still didn't know.
I make lists the way other people breathe — automatically, constantly, without ever consciously deciding to start. It's not a quirk. It's not a coping mechanism, regardless of what the one therapist I saw for three months in my second year of university suggested. It's a system. Systems work. Systems are the difference between chaos and something you can actually navigate, and I have spent the better part of my life building systems around every sharp edge I've encountered so that I don't bleed out quietly in the middle of my own head.
— the therapist also suggested i had difficulty "sitting with uncertainty."
she was not wrong. i did not go back.
So I made a list. 4:02 a.m., kitchen sink still faintly smelling of smoke, lighter set back on the counter with more precision than the situation required. I opened a fresh document, locally saved, not synced, not backed up and I typed the only thing that felt honest.
✦ reasons not to go · compiled 04:02 · tuesday
Anonymous message. No verifiable sender. No institutional affiliation I can confirm. (red flag, obvious)
The coordinates lead to a building that does not appear to exist. (red flag, less obvious, more interesting)
"Come alone" is the exact phrasing used in approximately 94% of true crime scenarios I would rather not star in.
I have a paper due in eleven days that my supervisor is already losing patience over.
I do not know these people.
I do not trust people I do not know.
I do not, if I am being precise about this, particularly trust people I do know either.
Going would be impulsive. I am not impulsive. Impulsive people make errors. I do not make errors. (I make calculated decisions that occasionally look like errors from the outside. This is different.)
I stared at the list for a long time. Then I opened a second document and typed the header of the second list before I had consciously given myself permission to do it.
✦ reasons to go · compiled 04:09 · tuesday
They know about the paper. Not the published version — the real one. The unpublished one that lives on a drive I keep physically disconnected from everything.
No one knows about that paper. I have told no one. Which means they accessed something I considered inaccessible. (this should scare me more than it fascinates me. it does not.)
The building doesn't exist on any map. Which is not the same as the building not existing.
"You've been chosen" implies selection criteria. Selection criteria implies an organisation with specific needs. Specific needs implies they want something I have. Something I can provide.
I have spent my entire academic career being told my work is too theoretical, too speculative, too far outside the boundaries of what is considered serious research. Someone, somewhere, thinks it is serious enough to fly me to Seoul over.
I am twenty-four years old and I live alone in a flat that is too small for my books and I have not done anything that frightened me in a very long time. (that last one is not a good reason. i am including it anyway.)
— the second list was shorter.
i deleted both of them and went to pack.
This is what I know about myself at 4:17 a.m. on a Tuesday while standing in front of the open wardrobe in my bedroom: I am not brave. I want to be clear about that. Bravery implies a conscious choice to do something despite fear, and what I do is not that, what I do is decide that the fear is a less interesting variable than whatever is on the other side of it, and proceed accordingly. It looks the same from the outside. It is not the same from the inside.
I packed the way I think. methodically, in categories, with contingencies built in for scenarios I hadn't fully mapped yet. Four days of clothes. Neutral colours, nothing that would read as memorable to a stranger glancing at a surveillance feed. The kind of things you could wash in a hotel sink and have dry by morning if the situation required it.
— note to self: stop thinking about hotel sinks.
you do not know if there will be a hotel.
you do not know anything yet. that is the point.
My laptop. My hard drive — the disconnected one, the one with the real work on it. A notebook, physical, because some things I refuse to trust to devices that can be accessed without my knowledge. Three pens, because one pen is a liability and two pens is optimism and three pens is an actual plan. A book I'd been meaning to finish for six weeks and probably wouldn't touch but brought anyway, the way you bring a lucky item you don't believe in because the not bringing it feels like tempting something.
My passport. Obviously. A small first aid kit that I always travel with and that people always raise an eyebrow at until the one time it becomes necessary, at which point they stop raising eyebrows and start asking if I have antiseptic. Cash, in two currencies, distributed between three different pockets because the moment you keep everything in one place is the moment you lose everything.
— i am aware this is not how most people prepare for things.
most people are not prepared for most things.
i rest my case.
I zipped the bag at 4:51 a.m. It was a medium-sized black backpack, worn at the left shoulder strap from four years of carrying it across three countries and two degrees. I'd had it since I was twenty and I'd never given it a name, which I mention only because a colleague once told me she named her bags and I'd looked at her with the expression I apparently make when I encounter something I cannot categorise, and she'd laughed and said: "you're going to name something someday, Sky, and it's going to mean something."
I thought about that, standing in my bedroom at 4:51 a.m. with my unnamed bag on my shoulder, about to go somewhere I couldn't map to meet people I didn't know for reasons I didn't yet understand.
I didn't name the bag. But I thought about it.
The flat looked the same as always when I stood in the doorway and turned back to look at it one last time. That's the thing about living alone, nothing shifts in your absence. No one moves your things, borrows your books, leaves the kitchen light on by accident. The flat would be exactly like this when I came back: books stacked by subject and then by height, the single mug on the drying rack, the whiteboard above my desk still covered in equations I hadn't solved and wasn't ready to erase.
I looked at the whiteboard for a moment longer than I meant to. The equations were the same ones I'd been working around for eight months, the theoretical framework at the centre of the paper, the part that didn't quite close, the part where the numbers said something was possible that everything else said shouldn't be.
— temporal pressure at a fixed coordinate.
controlled intervention at a closed point in time.
theoretically: reversible. theoretically: precise.
theoretically: the kind of thing someone would build an entire secret organisation around
if they'd figured out how to make it work.
i turned the light off and closed the door.
The hallway outside my flat was empty and fluorescent and smelled faintly of someone else's cooking, the way it always did. I locked the door. Checked it twice, not because I'm superstitious, but because checking it once leaves a margin for error and I don't operate well with margins I could have closed. Then I walked to the lift, pressed the button for the ground floor, and stood in the small mirrored box of it and looked at my own reflection while it descended.
The person looking back at me was unimpressed. Dark eyes, the kind of unreadable that people sometimes mistake for calm. Hair pulled back because I hadn't thought about it. The expression I make when I'm thinking about seven things simultaneously and have decided to let my face go neutral while I sort them out.
I looked, in other words, exactly like someone who had just received an anonymous summons from an organisation that shouldn't exist, decided in the space of forty-five minutes to comply, and was now descending in a lift at 5:06 a.m. toward a decision she couldn't fully calculate the consequences of yet.
— which is to say: i looked exactly like myself.
this was not entirely comforting.
The lift doors opened. I walked out into the lobby, through the front door, into the cold air of a city that was just beginning to consider waking up. The sky was that particular shade of dark blue that isn't quite night anymore but hasn't committed to morning yet — the colour of something holding its breath.
I had a flight to book. I had four days to figure out what I was walking into. I had a bag on my shoulder with no name and a head full of equations that might, just possibly, be the reason a secret agency had decided I was worth finding.
I turned left toward the main road and started walking.
observe first. conclude later. trust no one until you have enough data.
— i broke that rule approximately forty-eight hours later. but that comes after
◆ The Sequence of Agents
Skylar Lee - Choi Soobin - Jeon Jungkook - Woo Do-hwan - Park Bo-gum- Park Bo-young - Jake Sim - Hwang In-youp - Lee Heyrin - Song Kang - Jung So-min - Irene.
✦ next chapter one — first contact · (coming next)
✦ tag list open: @black-startxt @rurujm @buttersoob @
𝜗𝜚 THE BEST FRIEND THEORY 𝜗𝜚 𝒻𝒾𝓋𝑒
𝒸𝒽𝑜𝒾 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝒷𝒾𝓃 × 𝒻𝑒𝓂!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓈𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: your best friend is unfairly gorgeous the kind of gorgeous that makes strangers turn twice luckily… he’s gay so it’s harmless when he pulls you into his lap during movie night harmless when he braids your hair while you rant about bad dates harmless when he kisses your temple before exams right?
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮: college au, slow burn → intense burn, smut, cp 2!
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: friends to lovers, hot best friend rumor, dirty talk, manipulation themes, emotional dependency, family pressure, jealousy, smut, masturbation, mdni, fluff, multiple orgasms, mutual pining, morally gray, touch-starved idiots, pregnancy themes in final chapters, obsessive behavior, please read responsibly ♡
౨ৎ ݁ ˖ 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓎𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ˖ ݁dress – taylor swift, shameless – camila cabello, sweater weather – the neighbourhood, killer queen – 5 seconds of summer, love talk – wayv, call it what you want – taylor swift, i wanna be yours – arctic monkeys, peaches & cream – kai, love on the brain – rihanna, do i wanna know? – arctic monkeys, until i found you – stephen sanchez
⋆。‧˚ʚ ✧ 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝒾𝓋𝑒✧ ɞ˚‧。⋆
The library corner on the third floor has become their unofficial spot—same table by the window every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon, sunlight slanting through the glass in long golden bars across their open notebooks. She's hunched over her laptop today, chewing the end of her pen while she tries to untangle a paragraph that refuses to make sense. Soobin sits across from her—textbook open but unread—watching her with that quiet, patient focus he always has when she's working.
She exhales sharply through her nose, drops the pen, rubs her temples. "This is stupid. I can't figure out how to connect the second argument to the conclusion without sounding like I'm forcing it."
He leans forward—elbows on the table—tilts his head to read the screen upside down. "You're overcomplicating the transition. Just say what you already know: the evidence from the first study supports the second because both show the same pattern in different populations. Then link it back to your thesis in the next sentence."
She stares at him—blinks. "How do you do that? You haven't even read the articles."
"I read your outline last night while you were showering," he says—reaches across, turns her laptop slightly so he can see better. "And you talk out loud when you're stuck."
Warmth climbs her cheeks—small, sudden—but she doesn't pull away when his fingers brush hers on the keyboard. "You're scary good at this."
"I know." The words come out soft, like the most obvious thing in the world. Then he glances at her phone when it lights up on the table—notification from some dating app she downloaded months ago and mostly forgot about. A message preview pops up: Hey cutie, saw your pics… that smile is dangerous 😏
She reaches to flip the phone over—fast—but he's already seen it.
He doesn't react the way most guys would—no tightening of the jaw, no forced casualness. Just a small tilt of his head, curious.
"New match?"
She sighs—leans back in her chair. "Yeah. Some guy from the gym app. He messaged yesterday. I haven't answered yet."
Soobin nods—slow—leans back too, mirroring her posture. "What's he like?"
She shrugs—scrolls open the profile just to have something to do with her hands. "Tall. Works out. Posts gym selfies every other day. Bio says 'looking for someone who can keep up.' Classic."
He hums—thoughtful—then leans forward again, elbows on the table. "Sounds confident. Good shoulders in the pics?"
She laughs—surprised—glances at him. "You're doing the shoulder thing again."
"Shoulders matter," he says—deadpan—but there's a tiny glint in his eye. "They tell you a lot. Strong shoulders usually mean he can carry his own weight. And yours if you need it."
She rolls her eyes but smiles anyway. "You're ridiculous."
"Maybe." He reaches over—takes her phone gently from her hand, scrolls through the profile pictures with clinical detachment. "Nice arms too. Decent jawline. He'd look good in photos."
She snatches the phone back—laughing despite herself. "Stop rating my potential dates. It's weird."
"Not weird," he says—one shoulder lifting. "Just helping. You always ask me what I think anyway."
She sighs—sets the phone face-down. "Yeah. I do. Because you're honest. Brutally honest sometimes."
"Only when it matters." He leans closer—voice dropping. "If he's worth your time, go for it. You deserve someone who shows up. Who listens. Who makes you feel… safe."
She looks at him—really looks. "Like you do."
He doesn't flinch. Just holds her gaze—steady, soft. "Exactly like that."
The library hums around them—pages turning, keyboards clicking, distant coughs—but it feels like the air between them has gone still.
She swallows. "You never get jealous. Not once. Not with any of them."
He lifts one shoulder—small, almost careless. "Why would I? If he's good for you, I'm happy. If he's not… you'll figure it out. You always do. And I'll be here. Same as always."
She feels something twist—sharp, confusing—in her chest. "You make it sound so easy."
"It is easy," he says quietly. "You're my best friend. I want you to be happy. Even if it's not with me."
The words land heavy—simple, honest—and she feels them settle somewhere within her.
She looks down at her laptop—screen gone dark—then back up at him.
"You're too good, Binnie. Too good for me."
He smiles—small, almost sad. "I'm just me."
She nods—slow—reaches across the table, squeezes his hand once.
"Thanks. For… everything."
He squeezes back—thumb brushing her knuckles.
"Anytime."
They go back to work—her typing, him reading—but the air feels different now.
Charged. Unspoken.
Because he encouraged her again. Told her to try.
Rated the guy's shoulders like it was nothing. And somewhere underneath it all, she's starting to wonder why that bothers her more than it should.
Soobin lies awake on the pull-out couch long after the apartment has gone still. The clock on the microwave glows 2:47 a.m. in dull red numbers. He can hear the faint rhythm of her breathing through the thin bedroom door—slow, even, trusting. She fell asleep curled against him earlier, face tucked into his neck, leg thrown over his hip like she was afraid he’d disappear if she let go. He stayed until her grip loosened, until her breaths deepened, then carefully untangled himself and slipped out here.
Now the living room is too quiet. Too dark. Too empty.
He sits up slowly—blanket pooling around his waist—rubs both hands over his face. His skin feels too tight. His pulse is already hammering low in his groin, insistent, familiar. It’s been like this every night since the snow trip. Since he tasted her. Since he felt her clench around him and heard his name break on her lips like a plea.
He stands—bare feet silent on the cold floor—walks to the bathroom without turning on any lights. Closes the door. Locks it. The click feels louder than it should.
The bathtub is cool against his back when he lowers himself into it—still clothed in boxers and the loose tee he slept in. He doesn’t bother with the faucet. Doesn’t need water for this. Just needs… relief. Privacy. A moment to let the mask slip.
He exhales—shaky—leans his head back against the porcelain edge. The cold shocks his scalp but he barely registers it. His hand is already moving—sliding under the waistband of his boxers, wrapping around himself. He’s hard—painfully so—just from the memory of her earlier: the way she sighed when he kissed her neck while washing dishes, the way her hips shifted against him when they sat too close on the couch, the way she looked at him when he said “anytime” like she was trying to decide whether to believe him.
He strokes once—slow, firm—from base to tip. A low groan slips out before he can catch it.
Fuck.
He remembers her moans from the snow trip—soft at first, then desperate, then broken when he hit that spot inside her. He remembers the way she whispered his name like it was a secret only they shared. He remembers the way she tasted—sweet, wet, addictive.
His hips buck up into his fist—waterless, but the motion is the same. Desperate. Hungry.
What would you do if you knew?
The thought hits him hard—makes his hand speed up.
If you knew I’m not gay. Never was. That I’ve been touching myself to the thought of you for years. That every time you sigh, every time you stretch and your shirt rides up just enough to show a strip of skin, every time you laugh too loud at one of my stupid jokes—I lose it. I come home and lock myself in the bathroom and fuck my own hand thinking about bending you over the counter, about spanking your ass red until you beg, about fucking you so hard the headboard dents the wall.
He bites his lip—hard—to keep the groan quiet. His other hand grips the edge of the tub—knuckles white.
You’d run. You’d think I’m a creep. A liar. You’d think I manipulated you. And maybe I did. But I’d do it again. I’d do anything to keep you close. To keep you mine.
His hips snap up faster—thrusting into his fist—waterless but frantic. The porcelain is cold against his back, but he doesn’t care. Pain barely registers.
What would you sound like if I was rougher? If I pinned your wrists above your head and fucked you until you cried? If I spanked you until your skin bloomed pink and you begged for more? Would you like it? Would you come harder? Or would you pull away? Would you look at me like I scared you?
The uncertainty only makes him harder—makes the ache sharper.
He’s close—dangerously close—thighs shaking, abs clenching, breath coming in short, harsh pants.
All the waiting… all the patience… it’ll be worth it. Because when you finally choose me—when you finally admit you want me the way I want you—I’ll give you everything. Slow. Rough. Gentle. Whatever you need. But I’ll never let you go.
A few more desperate thrusts—fast, erratic—and he comes—hard—hot ropes spilling over his fist, painting his stomach and chest. His head snaps back—cracking against the porcelain edge—but the pain barely registers. His legs shake violently, toes curling, vision whiting out for a long second.
He rides it out—hand slowing, milking every last pulse—until he’s trembling, oversensitive, chest heaving.
When he finally stills—breath ragged—he opens his eyes.
She doesn’t know yet.
He reaches for the washcloth—wipes himself clean—slow, methodical.
Then stands—legs still shaky—pulls his boxers back up.
Walks back to the couch.
Slips under the blankets.
Closes his eyes.
And sleeps deeply and dreamless, knowing she’s only a few steps down the hall.
“So you’re really sticking with the extra cheese on everything now?” she asks, leaning her hip against the kitchen counter while she watches him grate parmesan over the pasta, the rasp of the grater filling the small space between them.
Soobin glances up, one corner of his mouth lifting in that quiet way he has when he’s amused but trying not to show it too much. “It’s not extra if it tastes right. You’re the one who complained last week that the sauce was ‘too tomato-forward’.”
She rolls her eyes but reaches over anyway, stealing a pinch of the grated cheese straight from the pile he’s building. “I stand by that. Tomato-forward is code for boring, and cheese fixes boring.”
He snorts softly, shaking his head while he keeps grating, the motion steady and unhurried. “You fix boring by drowning it in dairy. Noted for next time.”
“Next time you’re cooking, you mean.” She hops up to sit on the counter beside the stove, legs swinging a little, bare feet brushing his thigh when he shifts to stir the sauce. “Because I’m still recovering from the last time I tried to make risotto. We both remember how that ended.”
“With smoke alarms and takeout,” he finishes for her, voice warm with the memory. He sets the grater down, wipes his hands on the dish towel slung over his shoulder, then turns the burner to low so the sauce can simmer. “You’re banned from risotto for life. I’m serious.”
She laughs—bright and easy—tipping her head back until it rests against the cabinet door. “Harsh, but fair. At least I’m good at eating what you make.”
“You’re good at a lot of things.” He steps between her knees without thinking, hands settling on the counter on either side of her hips, caging her in a way that feels casual but isn’t. “Like distracting me while I’m trying to keep this from burning.”
She tilts her head, meeting his eyes, close enough now that she can see the faint freckles across his nose that only show up in this light. “Am I distracting you?”
“Constantly,” he says, and the word comes out quieter than he probably means it to, almost like a confession he didn’t plan on making.
For a second neither of them moves. The pasta bubbles gently behind him, steam curling up between them, carrying the smell of garlic and butter and something warmer underneath. She feels the heat of his palms through the fabric of her leggings where his thumbs have drifted to rest against the outside of her thighs, not pushing, just… there.
She swallows, keeps her voice light even though her pulse has kicked up. “Then maybe you should finish cooking before you get distracted any more.”
He exhales through his nose—almost a laugh—then leans in just enough that his forehead brushes hers for half a heartbeat. “Maybe I should.”
But he doesn’t step back right away. Instead he stays close, breathing the same air, watching her face like he’s trying to memorize every flicker of expression. His thumbs move—tiny, unconscious strokes along the seam of her leggings—and she feels the shiver chase up her spine even though she tries to keep her face neutral.
“Binnie,” she says, softer now, “the sauce.”
“Right.” He pulls away slowly, reluctantly, like it costs him something to do it. “Sauce. Food. Priorities.”
She watches him turn back to the stove—shoulders a little tense, neck flushed at the tips of his ears—and something tightens in her own chest, familiar and confusing all at once. She hops down from the counter, moves to stand beside him instead, shoulder brushing his while she grabs plates from the cabinet.
They plate the pasta together—quiet teamwork, elbows bumping, fingers brushing when they pass the serving spoon—and carry everything to the small table by the window. Outside the city lights are starting to come on, reflecting off the wet pavement, turning everything gold and blurry.
He sits first, waits for her to settle across from him, then picks up his fork but doesn’t eat yet. “You’ve been quiet tonight.”
She twirls pasta around her fork, shrugs one shoulder. “Just thinking.”
“About?”
She meets his eyes—steady, searching—and decides to keep it simple. “About how nice this is. Having you here. Eating dinner like normal people. No chaos. No running around. Just… this.”
His expression softens—something warm and unguarded flickering across his face before he covers it with a small smile. “Yeah. It’s nice.”
They eat then—slow, comfortable—talking about nothing important: the professor who keeps canceling office hours, the new coffee shop that opened near campus, whether they should try making bread next weekend even though neither of them knows how. Every once in a while their knees bump under the table and neither pulls away. Every once in a while his foot nudges hers and stays there, warm through their socks.
After dinner he insists on washing up while she dries. They stand side by side at the sink—elbows brushing, hips close—passing plates and forks in easy rhythm. When the last dish is stacked he turns off the faucet, dries his hands, then turns to her instead of stepping away.
He doesn’t say anything at first. Just looks at her—really looks—like he’s seeing something he’s been waiting to see for a long time.
Then, quietly: “I like this. Being here. With you. Like this.”
She feels her throat tighten—small, sudden. “Me too.”
He reaches out—slow—brushes his knuckles along her cheek, then tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. His fingers linger there, warm against her skin.
“I could get used to it,” he says, voice so low she almost misses it. “To coming home to you. To cooking with you. To… all of it.”
Her heart stutters—hard. She opens her mouth to say something—anything—but the words stick.
He doesn’t push. Just leans in—forehead resting gently against hers for a long moment—then pulls back, smiles that small, crooked smile she’s known since they were kids.
“Night,” he says softly. “Sleep well.”
He walks to the pull-out couch—starts unfolding it like always.
She stands there—rooted—watching him move with that quiet efficiency he has.
Then she speaks—voice barely above a whisper.
“Binnie?”
He pauses—looks over his shoulder. “Yeah?”
She swallows. “You don’t have to sleep on the couch tonight. If… if you don’t want to.”
His eyes darken—just a fraction—but he keeps his voice steady. “You sure?”
She nods—small, certain. “Yeah. I’m sure.”
He straightens—walks back to her—slow, deliberate—until he’s close enough that she can feel the warmth radiating off him.
“Okay,” he says quietly. “Then I won’t.”
He takes her hand—threads their fingers together—leads her toward her bedroom.
The door closes behind them—soft click and the apartment stays quiet.
Weeks slip by almost without notice, the kind of quiet stretch where days start to feel the same but better—warmer, softer, easier. The snow has mostly melted into gray puddles that reflect the campus lights at night, and the apartment has slowly rearranged itself around two people instead of one. His shoes by the door next to hers. His charger plugged in beside the couch. His hoodie hanging on the back of her chair like it's always belonged there.
He pays for things so quietly she almost doesn't catch it at first. A coffee run turns into him sliding his card across the counter before she can even open her wallet. When she frowns and reaches for her phone to Venmo him back, he just shakes his head—small smile, casual shrug. "I got it. You paid last time." Except she didn't. Not really. Not lately. The pattern repeats: groceries, late-night takeout when she's buried in notes, even the small bottle of pain relievers she mentioned running low on—he brings home two without a word, sets them on the bathroom shelf like they've always been there.
She starts to notice the paperwork next. The financial aid form she's been avoiding because the questions make her head hurt—he sits beside her one evening, pulls the laptop closer, asks gentle questions until the boxes are filled out. "There. Submitted. Deadline was tomorrow, by the way." She stares at the confirmation email, then at him. "How did you even know the deadline?" He lifts one shoulder—easy, like it's nothing. "You mentioned it last week. I wrote it down."
He picks her up from class more often than not now. Not every day at first, but enough that she stops looking surprised when she steps out of the lecture hall and sees him leaning against the wall—phone in hand, hood up, small lift of his chin when their eyes meet. "Figured it was raining," he says one afternoon, even though the sky is only threatening. He holds an umbrella anyway. She slips under it without thinking, shoulder brushing his, their hands finding each other halfway across campus like it's the most natural thing.
She doesn't notice how dependent she's becoming. Not at first. It happens in pieces. She stops checking the weather because he always knows if she needs a jacket. She stops planning dinner because he's already asked what she's craving by the time she gets home. She stops double-checking her schedule because he remembers her exam dates better than she does, leaves sticky notes on the fridge with gentle reminders: Bio quiz tomorrow—flashcards on the table. When she's anxious before a presentation he sits with her until midnight, reading her slides aloud in that calm, steady voice until the words stop feeling scary.
And at night—when the apartment is dark and the city hums faintly outside—she tells him things she's never told anyone else.
One evening she's curled against his side on the couch, head on his chest, his fingers tracing absent patterns on her arm while some documentary neither of them is really watching plays in the background.
"I used to think I wasn't good enough," she says suddenly—voice small, almost lost under the narrator's voice. "In high school. Everyone had plans—college, careers, boyfriends who looked good on paper. I just… floated. Mom and Dad never pushed, but I felt it anyway. Like I was supposed to have it all figured out by seventeen. I still feel like that sometimes. Like I'm behind. Like I'm faking it."
Soobin's fingers pause—just for a second—then resume their slow circles. He doesn't interrupt. Just listens.
"I never told anyone that," she continues, quieter now. "Not even Lia. She'd tell me I'm being dramatic. But with you… I don't feel dramatic. I just feel… seen."
He presses his lips to the top of her head—soft, barely there. "You're not behind. You're just… you. And you're exactly where you're supposed to be."
She turns her face into his chest—hides the way her eyes sting. "You always say the right thing."
"I say what's true," he murmurs. "You've never had to fake it with me. You never will."
She believes him.
Because he's never given her a reason not to, because every time she reaches—he's already there, because the small problems disappear before she even names them, because he pays, he plans, he waits, he holds, and she lets him.
Without questioning why it feels so easy. Without noticing how completely she's started to rely on him. Without seeing how perfectly he's woven himself into every corner of her life.
One Tuesday evening she's sprawled on the couch grading discussion posts—laptop balanced on her thighs, glasses slipping down her nose—when Soobin walks in from the kitchen with two mugs of tea. Chamomile for her, black for him. He sets hers on the coffee table without a word, then sits beside her—close enough that their shoulders touch when he leans back.
She glances over—smiles automatically. "Thanks. You're a mind-reader."
His shoulder lifts in that familiar half-shrug, sipping his own tea. "You always grade better when you're calm. Chamomile helps."
She hums agreement, takes a sip—warmth spreading through her chest. "You know me too well."
"Always," he says quietly, eyes on the screen over her shoulder. "You've got that little frown when you're reading something you disagree with. Right… there."
He reaches over—gentle—smooths the crease between her brows with his thumb. She laughs softly, leans into the touch for a second before catching herself.
"You always notice everything."
"I notice you," he says—matter-of-fact—then drops his hand, picks up his phone instead. "You have that group presentation Thursday, right? I added it to my calendar so I can pick you up after. Parking lot B again?"
She blinks—startled. "I didn't tell you the room number."
"You mentioned it last week when you were ranting about the projector not working in 214. I remembered."
She stares at him—heart doing that strange flutter it's been doing more often lately. "You… sync my schedule?"
He doesn't look up from his phone—keeps tapping. "Yeah. Shared calendar. Makes it easier. You forget things when you're stressed."
She opens her mouth—closes it—then laughs, small and disbelieving. "You're terrifyingly organized."
"Someone has to be." He finally meets her eyes—the corner of his mouth curving upward. "You focus on the important stuff. I handle the rest."
She feels something settle—warm, heavy—in her chest. Dependence. Comfort. Safety. She doesn't name it. Just leans her head on his shoulder while she keeps grading.
He doesn't comment.
Just wraps his arm around her—pulls her closer—thumb stroking slow circles on her upper arm.
Later that night—when she's brushing her teeth—he's already in bed, propped against the headboard with his phone. She climbs in beside him—curls against his side without asking. He sets the phone aside immediately, arm coming around her shoulders like it's reflex.
She rests her head on his chest—listens to his heartbeat—then speaks quietly. "You track my period app too, don't you?"
He goes still—just for a second—then exhales slow. "Yeah."
She lifts her head—looks at him. "Why?"
"Because you get headaches the day before. And you're extra tired the first two days. And you crave chocolate the week leading up. I like knowing so I can… help. Chocolate in the fridge. Heating pad ready. Extra hugs when you need them."
She feels her throat tighten—small, unexpected. "You hug me more those days."
"I do," he admits—voice low. "You seem to like it. And I like holding you."
She searches his face—looking for something she can't name. "You're… too good at this."
“Like I said I pay attention,” he says simply—hand sliding up to cradle the back of her neck. “To you.”
She nods—small—leans up, kisses him once on the cheek—soft, lingering. When she pulls back she curls against him again—head on his chest, leg thrown over his hip.
He holds her tighter—chin resting on her head—thumb making slow circles on her back.
She falls asleep like that—warm, safe, held.
And he stays awake a little longer—phone in hand—opening the period tracking app he synced to hers months ago.
Ovulation in four days.
He adds a note to his calendar—quiet, private.
Extra hugs. Extra touches. Extra closeness.
Then he turns off the screen, sets the phone aside, and wraps both arms around her—pulling her flush against his chest.
And closes his eyes.
They only came to the mall for a few things—her favorite expensive shampoo that the campus store never stocks, the matching conditioner that actually makes her hair feel like silk instead of straw, and maybe a new hair mask because the last one disappeared into the void of her bathroom cabinet. Soobin suggested the trip himself this morning over coffee, casual as anything: "I'm heading that way anyway. Come with?" She said yes without thinking—because she always says yes to him lately—and now the small paper bag from the beauty store swings lightly from his wrist while they walk side by side through the corridor.
The mall is busy but not overwhelming—holiday music playing faintly overhead, people drifting in and out of stores, the occasional burst of laughter from a group near the escalators. She's in jeans and his oversized gray hoodie (the one she "borrowed" permanently weeks ago), hair loose and slightly tangled from the wind outside. Soobin walks beside her—hands in his pockets, hood down now that they're inside—eyes scanning the storefronts like he's mapping the place in his head.
She slows in front of a boutique window—soft home goods on display: cashmere throws folded neatly, scented candles in glass jars, a small shelf with folded blankets in pastel shades. She stops without meaning to—fingers brushing the edge of a pale lavender throw through the glass.
Soobin stops too. Doesn't say anything. Just watches her.
She tilts her head, voice quiet. "This looks so soft. Like the kind of thing you'd wrap up in on a cold day and never want to move."
He steps closer—shoulder brushing hers—leans in slightly to see what she's looking at. "It does. Heavy enough to feel like a hug, light enough not to smother you."
She nods—fingers still tracing the texture through the window. "I like things like that. Simple. Warm. Nothing too loud or scratchy. Just… comfortable."
He doesn't speak right away. Just stands there—close, quiet—watching the way her expression softens, the way her breathing slows like she's slipping into a small, private daydream.
She finally pulls her hand back—lets out a small breath—turns to him with a half-smile. "Sorry. Got distracted. We should keep going."
He shakes his head—barely perceptible. "Don't apologize. I like watching you look at things. You get this expression—like you're already imagining how it'll feel."
She laughs—soft, self-conscious—tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "That's embarrassing."
"It's not." His voice stays low, steady. "It's nice. Makes me want to buy everything you touch just so you can have it."
Warmth climbs her cheeks—quick, sudden—but she doesn't look away. "You're gonna bankrupt yourself if you do that."
"Worth it," he says—then reaches for her hand, threads their fingers together like it's the most natural thing. "Come on."
They keep walking—hands linked, bag swinging between them—past clothing stores, a jewelry kiosk, a place selling scented candles. Every few steps her shoulder brushes his arm, his thumb strokes the back of her hand once, twice, absent but deliberate.
She doesn't pull away.
He doesn't let go.
She's in the middle of telling him about a new scent she wants to try—something with vanilla and bergamot—when she stops walking mid-sentence.
Soobin stops too, following her gaze.
A new baby boutique has opened right in the middle of the corridor—grand opening banners fluttering in bright red and white, balloons tied to the entrance in clusters of pastel and silver. The display windows are themed around Pokémon: tiny onesies with Pikachu ears, a little Eevee romper hanging front and center, matching shorts with fluffy brown tails, and even miniature shoes shaped like Eevee paws. Soft yellow lighting makes everything look warm and inviting, like a tiny world built for daydreams.
She doesn't say anything at first. Just stares.
The Eevee set is impossible to miss: cream-colored onesie with big brown eyes printed on the chest, little ears flopping over the hood, the shorts fuzzy at the edges, and those paw-shaped booties with tiny pink pads on the bottom. It's cute—ridiculously cute—and something in her softens so fast she feels it like a physical ache.
Soobin watches her silently—hands still in his pockets, bag hanging forgotten from his fingers. He sees the way her lips part slightly, the way her eyes go wide and glassy, the way she takes one unconscious step closer to the window.
She finally speaks—voice small, almost embarrassed. "That's… Eevee. My favorite since I was little. Look at the little paws. And the tail on the shorts. It's so… tiny."
He doesn't laugh. Doesn't tease. Just steps up beside her so their shoulders touch.
"It's perfect," he says quietly. "Exactly your kind of cute."
She laughs under her breath—soft, self-conscious—but doesn't move away from the window. "I used to have the plushie. The big one with the fluffy mane. I slept with it until I was… way too old to admit."
Soobin tilts his head—watching her profile more than the display. "You still have it?"
"Maybe," she admits—cheeks going pink. "In a box somewhere. Don't judge."
"I'm not." His voice stays low—gentle. "It's sweet. You'd probably still hug it if you found it."
She glances at him—half-smiling. "Probably."
They stand there another moment—her eyes glued to the Eevee outfit, his eyes glued to her.
Something shifts in him then—quiet and certain, like a door clicking shut on everything he's been holding back.
He steps closer—until his chest brushes her back. His arms come around her waist—gentle—chin resting on her shoulder so he can see the display too.
"It'd look good on someone small," he says quietly—voice low, almost reverent. "Eevee ears. Little paws."
She laughs—small, surprised—but leans back into him anyway. "You think?"
"I know."
His hand slides over hers—fingers threading between hers.
She feels it—the shift. The weight of his arms. The warmth of his chest. The way his breath brushes her ear when he speaks.
She doesn't pull away.
He presses a kiss to her temple—soft, lingering.
"Let's go inside," he says—barely above a whisper. "Just to look."
She nods—small—almost without thinking.
"Yeah. Just to look."
They step inside—hand in hand—into the soft pastel world of tiny clothes and quiet dreams.
Snowflakes are starting again—small, hesitant ones that melt the second they hit the windshield as they pull out of the parking lot.
She's in the passenger seat, legs tucked under her, still wearing his gray hoodie with the sleeves pushed up. The heater hums low, warm air curling around them, carrying the faint vanilla from her hair. She's quiet at first—looking out the window at the lights blurring past—then glances over at him.
"You're taking the long way," she says, not accusing, just noticing.
Soobin keeps his eyes on the road—thumb tapping once against the steering wheel. "Yeah. Thought we could stop somewhere on the way. There's that liquor store with the good selection. I want to grab something for tonight."
She tilts her head—curious. "Like what?"
"Your favorite wine," he says. "The red one with the black label you always get when we do movie nights. And maybe champagne. And apple cider—non-alcoholic, the spiced kind you like when it's cold. Figured we could open something nice. Stay in. Just us."
Warmth blooms in her chest—small, sudden—spreading out to her fingertips.
She doesn't say anything right away. Just watches him drive—profile lit by passing streetlights, jaw relaxed, hands steady on the wheel. The silence between them isn't heavy; it's comfortable, full of things they haven't said yet but don't need to rush.
The liquor store is small—warm yellow light spilling out onto the snowy sidewalk, bell jingling when they step inside. The air smells like wood and wine and cinnamon from the spiced cider display near the door. Soobin heads straight for the shelves—confident, like he's done this run before.
He finds the red wine first—a dark bottle, deep burgundy glass, simple black label—holds it up so she can see. "This one?"
She smiles—nods. "Yeah. Perfect."
Then the champagne—something crisp and dry, not too sweet. He sets it in the basket. Finally the apple cider—glass bottles with red ribbons around the neck, spiced with clove and nutmeg. He picks up two—looks at her.
"Two? In case we want more than one night."
She laughs—soft. "You're planning ahead."
"Always," he says—quiet, almost serious—then adds a small bottle of sparkling water for her because she gets headaches if she drinks too much wine without it.
At the counter he pays before she can reach for her wallet—smooth, practiced—takes the bag from the cashier with a nod. She doesn't protest this time. Just watches him—heart doing that familiar flutter she's stopped trying to ignore.
Outside the cold bites again—snowflakes catching in his hair, melting on his lashes. He shifts both bags to one hand—reaches for hers with the other—threads their fingers together like it's nothing.
They walk to the car—hands linked, breath fogging white between them.
In the car he sets the bags in the back seat—starts the engine—turns the heat up. Then he looks at her—really looks—eyes soft in the dashboard glow.
"Movie night?" he asks. "Your pick. I'll make popcorn."
She smiles—small, real—leans over the console, kisses his cheek once—quick, warm.
"Yeah. Movie night."
He starts driving—slow, careful—hand resting on her thigh the whole way home.
The living room is already dim when Soobin walks back in from the kitchen, arms loaded with supplies: the red wine, the chilled champagne, the spiced apple cider, a bowl of popcorn, a plate of cut cheese and crackers, a bag of her favorite chocolate-dipped pretzels, and a small bowl of gummy bears because he knows she'll eat them by the handful when she's relaxed. He sets everything down on the coffee table with careful movements, the bottles clinking softly against each other.
She's curled on the couch under the big throw blanket—legs tucked under her, remote in hand, scrolling through the streaming menu. The lamp beside her throws warm light across her face, catching the loose strands of hair that escaped her bun. She looks up when he enters—smiles small, tired but content.
"You're spoiling me," she says, nodding at the spread. "That's enough for a small party."
He drops down beside her—close enough that their thighs press together under the blanket. "We've earned it. And if we're doing movie night, we should do it right."
She laughs quietly—leans her head against his shoulder for a second before straightening again. "Okay, fine. But I'm picking the movie. You always choose the same three thrillers."
He raises both hands in surrender—a small grin tugging at his mouth. "I'm not complaining. Pick whatever you want. I just want to see the one you've been talking about for weeks—the new romance, the couple in Paris. You kept saying the trailer made you cry in the best way."
Her cheeks warm—quick, surprised.
He reaches for the wine opener, starts working the cork. "So put it on. I'll pour."
She hesitates—only for a second—then navigates to the movie, presses play. The opening credits roll—soft piano music, wide shots of Paris at dawn, golden light spilling over cobblestones. She dims the lamp a little more with the remote—blanket pulled higher over her lap.
Soobin finishes opening the wine—pours two generous glasses, hands her one. Their fingers brush when she takes it; he lets the touch linger just a beat longer than necessary before pulling back. He opens the cider next—pours her a small glass of that too, sets it beside the wine.
"In case you want something lighter later," he says quietly—then settles back, arm stretching along the back of the couch behind her shoulders.
She takes a sip of the wine—rich, warm, berry notes spreading across her tongue. "This is perfect. Thank you."
He hums—small sound of acknowledgment—then reaches for the popcorn bowl, sets it between them. "Eat. You always forget when you're watching something good."
She laughs again—soft—and grabs a handful, popping one into her mouth.
The movie plays—slow burn romance, lingering shots, quiet confessions in French cafés. She sips the wine steadily—glass emptying faster than she realizes. Soobin refills it without asking—topping off her cider too when she switches. He keeps the snacks coming—pushing the pretzels closer when she finishes the popcorn, handing her a gummy bear when she starts fidgeting during a tense scene.
Halfway through—when the couple on screen is dancing in the rain—she's leaning against his side, head on his shoulder, blanket pulled over both their laps. Her glass is almost empty again; he refills it without comment.
"You okay?" he asks—voice low, close to her ear.
She nods—hums. "Yeah. Just… cozy. The wine's good. Everything's good."
The corner of his mouth curves against her hair—arm sliding around her shoulders, pulling her closer.
"Good," he murmurs. "That's all I want."
She sighs—content—snuggles deeper into his side, hand resting on his thigh under the blanket.
They keep watching—wine flowing, snacks disappearing, her laughter soft when the couple does something silly on screen.
He keeps watching her more than the movie.
Keeps waiting.
Because she's relaxing—slowly, steadily—cheeks flushed from the wine, body loose against his.
He refills her glass one more time—slow, careful.
Leans down—kisses the top of her head.
"Still good?" he whispers.
She nods—sleepy, happy—turns her face into his neck.
"Perfect."
His arm tightens around her.
Perfect.
Empty wine glasses sit on the coffee table next to the half-eaten bowl of popcorn and the bag of chocolate pretzels. The apple cider has gone cold in their mugs, forgotten.
She's curled against his side under the thick throw blanket—head resting on his shoulder, legs tucked beneath her, one hand loosely holding the edge of his hoodie sleeve. Her breathing is slow, relaxed, the wine and the warmth making her limbs heavy. Soobin has one arm draped along the back of the couch behind her, fingers occasionally brushing the ends of her hair in absent, gentle strokes.
For a long while neither speaks. The movie characters murmur something sentimental on screen; she sighs softly, shifting a little closer without thinking.
Soobin feels it—the small movement, the way her body settles more fully against his, the quiet trust in how she fits there. His pulse kicks up—steady but faster—heat pooling low in his stomach. He’s been patient for weeks—months, really—letting her set the pace, letting her lean in first, letting her believe she’s the one choosing every step.
But tonight—tonight the air feels different. Thicker. Hungrier.
He turns his head slightly—nose brushing the top of her hair—inhales the faint vanilla from her shampoo mixed with the red wine on her breath.
"You still awake?" he asks—voice low, rougher than usual.
She hums—sleepy affirmative—tilts her head up just enough to meet his eyes. "Mhm. Barely."
The corner of his mouth lifts—slow—his free hand tracing the line of her jaw with the back of his knuckles. The touch is light—barely there—but it makes her breath catch.
"You look pretty like this," he murmurs. "Relaxed. Warm."
Her eyes flutter half-closed—leaning into his hand without thinking.
Their mouths meet—soft at first, tentative, like they're testing the air between them. Her hand slides up his chest—fingers curling into the fabric of his hoodie—pulling him closer.
She pulls back—just slightly—and in the quiet between them, almost shy, she whispers against his mouth:
"Can I kiss you?"
He freezes.
His eyes widen—something cracking open in his expression, wide and unguarded. He heard her right. He knows he did. The words hang there—simple, soft, devastating—and for the first time in all the years he's waited, planned, held back, he feels the ground shift beneath him.
She's asking.
Not taking. Not assuming. Asking.
His heart slams against his ribs—once, twice—hard enough he's sure she can feel it where their chests press together. He scans her face—every flicker, every shadow—searching for doubt or hesitation.
He doesn't find it.
Just her—eyes locked on his, lips parted, waiting.
Something inside him cracks open—wide, raw, unguarded.
His hands rise—trembling slightly—cradling her face with a tenderness that feels almost too soft for the heat simmering between them. His thumbs stroke the delicate skin under her eyes—slow, worshipful—like he's holding something precious.
He doesn't speak.
He just leans in—slow—giving her every second to change her mind.
She doesn't.
Their mouths meet again—this time different.
Not hungry. Not frantic.
Tender.
So tender it aches.
He kisses her like she's the first breath after drowning—like she's everything he's been starving for without knowing how to name it. His lips move over hers—soft, deliberate—tasting every corner, every sigh. His tongue brushes hers—gentle, coaxing—not demanding, inviting her to open for him, to meet him halfway.
She does.
The kiss is grounding—warm, steady, like coming home after years away—but it lifts her off the ground at the same time, unmoors her, sends her floating somewhere gravity doesn't reach. There are notes in it she's never heard before—longing, relief, something so quiet and tender it feels almost sacred.
She makes a small sound—half-whimper, half-sigh—into his mouth. Her hands slide up his arms—fingers curling around his biceps—holding on like she's afraid she'll drift away if she lets go.
He pulls back—just enough to breathe—forehead pressed to hers again, eyes closed.
"You okay?" he whispers—voice rough, trembling at the edges.
She nods—small, frantic—eyes opening slowly, glassy and wide.
"More than okay," she breathes. "That was…"
She doesn't finish.
She doesn't need to.
He kisses her again—soft, lingering—then pulls her closer, rolling them so she's tucked against his chest, arms wrapped tight around her.
There's no hurry.
Just them—breathing together—feeling the weight of what just happened settle between them like something permanent.
He shifts—turns more fully toward her—hand sliding from her jaw to the back of her neck, fingers threading into her hair. She makes a small sound—needy, surprised—opens her mouth wider, letting him take control. His other arm wraps around her waist—pulls her across his lap until she’s straddling him, knees bracketing his hips.
She gasps into his mouth—hands gripping his shoulders—feels him hard beneath her, pressing insistently against her core through their clothes. The friction makes her hips roll forward on instinct—slow, searching—and he groans low against her lips, hips lifting to meet the movement.
“Fuck,” he breathes—pulling back just enough to look at her—eyes dark, pupils blown wide. “You feel so good.”
She rocks again—deliberate this time—watching his face tighten with pleasure. “So do you.”
His hands slide under the hoodie—palms flat against her bare back—pulling her closer until her chest presses against his. He kisses her harder closer now,—tongue sliding against hers in slow, filthy strokes while his hands roam—up her spine, down to her hips, gripping her ass to guide her rhythm against him.
She moans—soft, broken—grinds down harder, chasing the pressure. “Soobin…”
He kisses down her jaw—open-mouthed—sucks lightly at the spot below her ear that makes her shiver. “Tell me what you want,” he whispers—voice rough, wrecked. “Anything. I’ll give it to you.”
She pulls back just enough to look at him—eyes glassy, cheeks flushed. “I want… you. All of you. No more waiting. No more pretending this is just… comfort.”
His breath catches—sharp—then he kisses her again—fierce, claiming—hands sliding under her thighs, lifting her easily as he stands.
She wraps her legs around his waist—arms around his neck—kissing him desperately while he carries her toward her bedroom.
The door closes behind them—soft click.
Clothes hit the floor in a hurried trail—hoodie, leggings, tee, sweats—until it’s just skin on skin, warm and trembling.
He lays her down on the bed—follows her down—mouth never leaving hers.
He lays her down on the bed—follows her down—mouth never leaving hers, kissing her like he’s been starving for it, like every second apart was punishment. His hands slide up her sides—slow, reverent—mapping every inch he’s memorized but never allowed himself to linger on quite like this. She arches under him—small gasp swallowed by his lips—fingers threading into his hair, tugging just enough to make him groan low against her mouth.
They break apart—barely—to breathe. Her chest rises and falls fast against his; his forehead presses to hers, eyes searching her face in the dim moonlight slipping through the curtains. She’s flushed—lips swollen, eyes glassy and wide—and for a moment neither speaks, just the sound of their breathing filling the space between them.
His hands—steady until now—tremble just slightly as they rise. He cradles her face—palms cupping her cheeks with a tenderness that feels almost too soft, too precious for the heat still simmering between them. His thumbs stroke the delicate skin under her eyes—slow, worshipful—like he’s touching something fragile he’s afraid might shatter.
He feels it too—the shift.
The moment everything changes.
There's no hurry, just them skin on skin, breathing together—feeling the weight of what just happened settle between them.
He presses his lips to her forehead—long, lingering.
Then—slowly—his hands begin to move.
They slide up her sides—palms flat against her ribs—until his thumbs brush the undersides of her breasts. He cups them gently—weight settling perfectly in his hands—and she sighs, arching just a fraction into the touch.
Soobin’s breath catches.
God.
They're soft—fuller than he remembered from the last few nights, weeks ago, and from the new furtive glances, he imagined, or had her breasts simply grown warmer? His thumbs caress the outer curves—slowly, reverently—then circle inward, brushing against her nipples without yet touching them. Her nipples harden at the proximity—small, tight buttons begging for attention.
He lowers his head—kisses the swell of one breast, then the other—open-mouthed, warm. Tongue traces the underside, then flicks the nipple once—light, teasing. She whimpers—back arching higher—pushing herself closer to his mouth.
“So sensitive,” he breathes against her skin—voice rough with awe. "Look at you… you're already falling apart for me."
He closes his mouth over one nipple—warm, wet—sucking gently at first, then harder, tongue swirling slow circles around the peak. His hand works the other breast—pinching lightly, rolling the nipple between thumb and finger, tugging just enough to make her gasp louder.
“Fuck—Soobin—yes—like that—”
He switches—mouth moving to the other side, sucking harder now, teeth grazing the sensitive bud while his hand kneads the first breast, thumb flicking the wet nipple he just left. She’s trembling—thighs pressing together, hips rocking once against nothing—needy sounds slipping out every time he sucks or pinches.
“God—Soobin—”
He hums against her skin—vibration making her nipple throb—then lifts his head, eyes dark and hungry as he looks down at her breasts—flushed, swollen, glistening from his mouth.
They’ll get heavier, he thinks—dark, possessive heat flooding him. When you’re pregnant. Fuller. Rounder. Aching. I’ll hold them just like this—kiss them—suck them until you’re begging. Until milk beads at the tips and I can taste you again... different, sweeter and mine.
The thought makes him groan—low, primal—mouth returning to her breast, sucking harder, tongue flicking fast then slow then fast—alternating until she’s whimpering, back bowed, thighs shaking.
“You like this?” he murmurs—pulling off with a wet pop, voice wrecked. “Like when I suck your tits? Pinch them? Make them all sensitive and swollen for me?”
“Yes—fuck—yes—keep going—bite a little—”
He does—teeth grazing the nipple, then nipping gently—then soothing with his tongue. His other hand pinches the neglected one—rolling, tugging, making her cry out softly.
“So pretty like this,” he whispers—kissing between her breasts, then up to her collarbone, then back down. “All flushed.”
She moans—loud, broken—hips bucking again. “Soobin—please—touch me lower—”
He smiles against her skin—wicked, slow. “Patience.”
He kisses lower—slow trail down her sternum, over her ribs, tongue dipping into her navel—then back up, worshipping every inch of her torso with open-mouthed kisses, small nips, soothing licks. His hands roam—palms sliding over her stomach, thumbs tracing the soft skin just below her breasts, then up again to cup them once more, squeezing gently while his mouth returns to her nipples—sucking, licking, biting lightly—marking her with soft red blooms that will fade to faint purple by morning.
She’s moaning now—soft, broken—hips rocking against nothing, thighs pressing together. “Soobin—please—more—”
He lifts his head—kisses the valley between her breasts—then looks up at her, voice rough with want.
“More?” he murmurs. “I’m not done yet. I want every inch of you marked. Want you to feel me everywhere. Want you to remember this—remember me—every time you look at yourself.”
She whimpers—nodding frantically—hands gripping his hair, pulling him back down.
He obeys—mouth returning to her breasts—sucking harder, leaving small love bites along the curves, the undersides, the sensitive skin where breast meets ribcage. His hands knead—gentle then firmer—thumbs rolling her nipples, pinching just enough to make her cry out softly.
“You’re so responsive,” he whispers against her skin—voice wrecked. “So perfect. These—fuck—these are mine. Every mark. Every bruise. Every shiver. Mine.”
She arches—moaning louder—body trembling under his mouth, his hands, his words.
He keeps going—slow, thorough, devoted—worshipping her breasts until they’re flushed dark, swollen, glistening, marked with his mouth in soft red and purple blooms.
He kisses down her tummy—slow, deliberate—lips brushing the soft skin just above her navel, then lower, tracing the faint line where her stomach dips toward her hips. She shivers beneath him, fingers tightening in his hair, breath catching every time his mouth lingers. The room is quiet except for their breathing and the faint rustle of sheets when her legs shift wider, inviting without words.
Soobin settles between her thighs—broad shoulders nudging her knees farther apart—hands sliding up the backs of her legs, thumbs pressing into the crease where thigh meets hip. He looks up at her once—eyes dark, pupils blown wide—then lowers his head.
His first lick is long and flat—tongue dragging from her entrance all the way up to her clit in one unhurried stroke. She gasps—sharp, high—hips jerking up toward his mouth. He groans low against her—vibration rumbling through her core—then does it again, slower this time, savoring the taste, the slick heat, the way she’s already dripping for him.
“Fuck,” he mutters—voice muffled, rough—“you’re so wet already. Soaking my chin. Look at you—creaming for me before I’ve even started.”
She whimpers—legs trembling—trying to press closer but he holds her thighs open with firm hands, keeping her spread exactly how he wants.
He dives in deeper—tongue pushing inside her, curling, thrusting slow and filthy while his nose grinds against her clit. She moans—loud, broken—back arching off the bed, fingers yanking his hair harder. He doesn’t stop—fucks her with his tongue like he’s trying to reach something deeper, something only he can touch, then pulls back just enough to suck her clit between his lips—hard, pulsing suction—tongue flicking fast over the swollen bud.
Her thighs shake violently—breath coming in short, desperate pants. “Soobin—god—your tongue—don’t stop—please—”
He growls against her—vibration making her clit throb—then slides two fingers inside her—slow at first—curling against that spot that makes her cry out. He pumps them steadily, deliberately, fully—while his mouth works her clit in relentless circles, tongue flat then pointed then flat again, sucking, licking, slurping like he’s trying to drink every drop she gives him.
“You taste like fucking heaven,” he rasps between licks—voice wrecked, lips shiny with her. “So sweet. So creamy. Dripping down my chin—down my throat. Gonna make you leak for me—gonna make you soak the sheets—want every bit of you messy and desperate.”
She’s trembling—whole body taut—hips bucking against his mouth, chasing the pressure, the stretch, the wet heat. “Yes—yes—fuck—right there—don’t stop—gonna come—gonna—”
He pulls back suddenly—mouth leaving her clit with a wet pop—fingers sliding out slow, glistening. She whines—high, frustrated—hips chasing his hand, thighs shaking.
“Not yet,” he murmurs—voice dark, commanding—kissing the inside of her thigh instead. “Not until I say. I want you dripping. I want you begging. I want you so close you can’t think straight.”
She sobs—soft, needy—head thrashing against the pillow. “Please—Soobin—need it—need to come—please—”
He blows cool air over her clit—watching her hips jerk—then licks once—slow, teasing—tongue barely touching. She cries out—body bowing off the bed.
“Shh,” he soothes—kissing her folds gently, almost sweetly. “You can take it. You’re doing so good for me. Look how wet you are—creaming all over my fingers—dripping down your thighs. So pretty. So messy. baby”
He slides his fingers back in—three this time—slow stretch—curling further while his tongue returns to her clit—light flicks, then slow circles, then nothing—just breathing hot against her until she’s whimpering, hips grinding against air.
“Tell me how it feels,” he demands—voice rough—fingers pumping unhurried, deliberate. “Tell me how bad you need to come.”
“So bad,” she sobs—voice breaking. “So close—please—your tongue—your fingers—everything—gonna explode—please let me—”
“Not yet,” he growls—pulling his fingers out again—watching her clench around nothing, slick dripping down onto the sheets. “Look at this pussy—clenching for me—begging to be filled. So wet it’s obscene. You’re making a mess of the bed. My good girl—making such a pretty mess.”
She’s crying now—tears slipping down her temples—body shaking, thighs quivering. “Soobin—please—I can’t—need it—need you—please—”
He kisses her clit once—soft—then looks up at her—eyes dark, possessive.
“Soon,” he promises—voice wrecked. “Soon. But not yet. I want you addicted to this—to me. I want you to come so hard you forget your own name. But only when I say.”
He dives back in—tongue flat and slow—fingers sliding in again—curling, thrusting, thumb circling her clit in tight, relentless circles—bringing her right to the edge—
Then stopping.
Again.
And again.
Until she’s sobbing—desperate—begging—body trembling on the brink—wet, creamy, dripping—completely his.
And he keeps going.
Slow. Filthy. Merciless.
Because he wants her ruined.
Addicted. His.
And she’s so close—
So fucking close—
He blows cool air over her clit—watching her hips jerk—then dives back in—tongue flat and broad—lapping slow, thorough circles around her clit while his fingers slide back inside—three again—curling hard, thrusting deep, palm grinding against her clit with every stroke.
“Gonna let you come now,” he growls—voice dark, possessive—sucking her clit harder, tongue flicking mercilessly. “Come on my tongue—flood my mouth—give me everything—let me drink you down—make a mess of my face—come for me—now.”
She breaks—shattering hard—walls clamping around his fingers, gushing wet and hot against his tongue as she comes with a loud, broken scream—body convulsing, thighs shaking violently around his head. He keeps going—lapping slowly, tongue thrusting inside her to catch every pulse, every drop—sucking her clit gently through the aftershocks until she’s whimpering, oversensitive, pushing weakly at his head.
He pulls back—slow—lips and chin glistening—eyes dark, satisfied—kisses her inner thigh once—soft—then crawls up her body.
She’s trembling—breathless—eyes glassy—reaches for him weakly.
He kisses her again, slow and shameless, letting her taste the lingering sweetness on his tongue.
“Perfect,” he whispers—voice wrecked. “So fucking perfect.”
“Please,” she whispers—voice cracking on the word, raw and desperate—hips lifting off the mattress, chasing the heat of him. “Soobin—please—I need you inside me—can’t take it anymore—please fuck me—need your cock—need to feel you stretch me—please—”
Soobin hovers over her—breath ragged—cock heavy and slick against her folds, tip nudging her entrance but not pushing in. He’s hard—painfully so—precome beading at the slit, smearing wet across her clit every time he rocks forward just enough to tease. His hands grip her hips—holding her down—keeping her exactly where he wants while she writhes beneath him.
“Not yet,” he murmurs—voice low, wrecked—eyes locked on hers, dark and possessive. “Look at you—begging so pretty. Pussy dripping all over my tip—making me so fucking wet. You want it that bad?”
“Yes—god—yes—” she sobs—legs shaking, thighs spread wide—trying to arch up, trying to force him inside. “Please—Soobin—I’m so empty—need you to fill me—need you closer—please—can’t wait anymore—”
He lets out a raw, guttural groan—hips rocking forward again—slow—letting the head catch on her entrance, stretching her just enough to make her gasp, then pulling back completely. Slick strings between them—thick, obscene—dripping down her ass, pooling on the sheets.
“Fuck—you’re so wet it’s dripping everywhere,” he rasps—watching the mess with hooded eyes. “Look at this pretty pussy—clenching on nothing—begging for my cock. You’re making such a filthy mess, baby. All creamy and slick—just for me.”
She cries out—frustrated, needy—hands grabbing his hips, trying to pull him closer. “Soobin—please—I’m dying—need you inside—need to feel you—please—just the tip—anything—please—”
He leans down—mouth brushing her ear—voice dark, filthy. “You want the tip? Want me to tease this tight little hole until you’re sobbing? Want me to rub my cock all over your clit until you’re shaking?”
“Yes—fuck—yes—do it—please—”
He does—slow, torturous—slides the head through her folds again—coating himself in her slick—then presses just the tip inside—barely breaching her—stretching her open just enough to make her whimper. She clenches—hard—trying to pull him all the way—but he holds still—hips locked—letting her feel the burn, the ache, the emptiness.
“So tight,” he growls—voice trembling with restraint. “Squeezing just the tip—trying to suck me in. You’re so greedy for it—pussy fluttering like it’s starving. Look how creamy you’re getting—dripping down my balls already. Such a messy girl.”
"Please—come in—Soobin—please—I'll behave, I—I promise—I need you—all of you."
He rocks—tiny, shallow thrusts—just the head dipping in and out—stretching her over and over—never giving her more. Slick sounds fill the room—wet, obscene—every time he pulls back she clenches, every time he pushes in she sobs.
“You’re shaking,” he murmurs—kissing her neck—sucking a mark into the skin. “So close already—just from the tip. Gonna come like this? Gonna cream all over my cock without me even fucking you properly?”
“Yes—fuck—yes—gonna come—please—let me—please—”
He pulls out completely—tip rubbing slow circles around her clit—watching her hips jerk, watching her pussy clench on nothing, watching fresh slick gush out.
“Not yet,” he whispers—voice dark, commanding. “Not until I’m inside. Not until you’re begging so hard you can’t breathe. I want you ruined—desperate for my cock. I want you to come so hard you forget your own name. But only when I say.”
She sobs—tears slipping down her temples—body trembling on the brink—wet, creamy, dripping—completely at his mercy.
“Please—Soobin—I can’t—need you—need you inside—please—fuck me—please—”
He kisses her again—enveloping her in a sinful, passionate kiss—then pulls back—and aligns himself again—the tip of his body brushes against her entrance once more.
“Beg one more time,” he growls—voice wrecked. “Beg like you mean it. Beg like you’ll die without me inside you.”
She does—voice breaking, raw, desperate.
“Please—Soobin—please,” she breathes desperately. “I need you—need you so bad—please—don’t tease me anymore—”
He groans, low and strained, and finally moves. Slowly he pushes in, inch by inch, stretching her as he fills her completely until his hips press flush against hers.
They both moan—loud, shattered—bodies trembling together.
And he finally—finally—starts to move.
He starts moving—slow—pulling out almost all the way, letting her feel the drag of every inch, then sliding back in with a single, sinking with a roll of his hips. The first thrust is measured, careful, giving her time to adjust to the thickness splitting her open again. She gasps—soft, trembling—nails digging into his shoulders as he fills her completely, hips flush against hers, staying buried for a long heartbeat before retreating once more.
“Feel that?” he whispers against her ear, voice rough, breath hot against her skin. “How far in I am? The way you’re wrapped around me?”
She nods frantically, legs tightening around his waist, heels pressing into his lower back to keep him close.“Right there—don’t stop—please—just like that—”
He doesn’t. Instead, he settles into a slow rhythm, long, unhurried strokes that make her feel everything: the drag of him inside her, the way the head catches on that sensitive spot inside her every time he bottoms out, the way her slick coats him completely, making every movement smoother and louder.
“Listen to you,” he murmurs—pulling out slowly again, watching the way her pussy clenches around nothing, trying to keep him inside. “So wet—making such filthy sounds every time I move. You’re dripping down my balls—making a mess of us both.”
A broken moan slips from her as her hips rise to meet him, chasing the next movement. Trying to take him fully, faster. ““Soobin—please—more. I need you to go harder—”
He gives a dark, quiet chuckle against her neck, teeth brushing her pulse.“Relax, baby. You’ll get everything. Right now, just feel it.”
He rolls his hips again—all the way in this time—grinding against her clit when he’s fully seated, staying there for a long second, letting her feel the pressure, the stretch, the fullness.
She lets out a high, desperate sob, her walls fluttering around him as if trying to draw him even closer.
“You’re clenching so hard,” he groans, voice tight with restraint. “Holding onto me like you don’t want to let me go. Fuck… you feel so good. Warm. Tight. Like you were made for me.”
Her whole body trembles now, legs shaking around his waist, fingers digging into his back. “Please—harder, Soobin—I can take it. I need more. I need to feel you lose control—”
He exhales shakily, then finally gives in.
The next thrust lands harder. Lingering, fully, but with more force, more weight behind it. The headboard taps the wall once, then again as he starts to build a rhythm. Not fast yet, but heavier with every stroke, pulling louder gasps from her as the wet sounds between them grow unmistakable.
“Like that?” he growls, drawing out slowly, watching the way her pussy grips him, trying to keep him inside—then slamming back in—hard—making her cry out. “You like feeling me this close? Like feeling every inch stretch you open? Like knowing no one else can fill you like this?”
“Yes—fuck—yes—don’t stop—”
He keeps the pace steady and punishing, each thrust deliberate and powerful.His hips drive forward with controlled force, grinding against her clit every time he bottoms out, staying there for a heartbeat before pulling back again. She’s completely soaked, slick warmth coating him, spreading over their skin and the sheets beneath her.
“You’re creaming so much,” he rasps—voice trembling with restraint. “Look at you… making a mess of my cock. dripping down my balls. Such a good girl, falling apart for me like this. Gonna make you come like this slow… keep you right here until you can’t breathe.”
She’s sobbing now, tears slipping down her temples, her whole body trembling as her thighs shake around his waist.“Soobin—please—I’m close—I can’t hold it—need to—please—”
“Not yet,” he murmurs, the warning low in his throat as his pace eases further. He pushes forward and stays there, hips rolling against her clit, letting the pressure build without giving her the release she wants.
A broken cry slips from her as her hips jerk upward, chasing the friction he’s denying her. “Please—I need it—I can’t—Soobin—please—”
He silences her with a kiss, messy and breathless, before drawing back again. His rhythm returns in slow, powerful strokes, the bed shifting beneath them as the pace begins to build again, each movement heavier than the last.
“Soon,” he promises quietly, his voice rough and strained.
He keeps going. The pace stays deliberate, relentless, keeping her balanced right on the edge. Her body is trembling, slick warmth spreading between them, her breath breaking into uneven sounds as she clings to him.
And she keeps begging.
Again.
And again.
Until her voice breaks.
Until her whole body shakes with the strain of holding on.
And still—
He keeps her right there on the brink.
Soobin shifts above her—slow at first—sliding one arm under her pillow, fingers threading through her hair at the nape of her neck so he can cradle the back of her head, tilting her face up toward his. His other hand hooks under her knee, lifting her leg higher over his shoulder—opening her wider, fully—until her calf rests against his back and her body arches instinctively into the new angle.
He lowers himself again, chest pressing to hers, his forehead resting briefly against hers while he adjusts, letting her feel the shift in pressure, the way he sinks—seated completely now, every inch claiming more space inside her. She gasps—soft, startled—nails digging into his shoulders as the new position makes him hit places that steal her breath.
“There,” he breathes, voice low and strained, lips brushing hers.“Right there. Feel how much deeper I am now? How much more of you can I reach? Do you feel the difference?”
She nods quickly, eyes fluttering shut for a second before opening again, glassy and pleading. “Yes—god—yes—feels like you’re everywhere—”
He starts moving again, quicker now but still controlled, his hips driving forward in steady motions that make the headboard tap softly against the wall. Each thrust rolls against her clit when he settles fully against her, lingering there for a heartbeat before pulling back almost all the way, only to drive in again harder, faster, building the pace without ever losing that growing intensity.
His hand in her hair tightens, fingers supporting the back of her head to keep her face angled toward his so their mouths stay close, breaths mingling, lips brushing even when they’re not kissing. Then he kisses her. Messy, hungry, his tongue sliding against hers while his thrusts continues beneath them, swallowing every sound she makes.
“You’re taking me so well,” he murmurs between kisses , his voice rough, trembling with restraint. “So tight—so wet—clenching around me every time I pull back like you’re scared I’ll leave. Don’t worry, baby—I’m not going anywhere. Gonna stay right here—fucking you deep—making sure you feel every inch.”
She whimpers into his mouth, legs tightening around him as her hips lift to meet every thrust, chasing the growing friction that’s beginning to blur the edges of her vision.
“Harder,” she gasps, voice breaking as her nails drag down his back. “Please—harder—I want to feel you lose control—”
A low groan escapes him as his pace climbs another notch. He still keeps it measured enough to savor every slide, every drag, but there’s more force behind it now, with each thrust of his hips drawing louder cries from her as the bed creaks beneath them.
“Like this?” he rasps, his mouth dropping to her neck as he sucks a mark just below her ear. “Like me fucking you like I own you? Like I’m trying to leave my shape inside you so no one else will ever fit?”
“Yes—god, yes,” she breathes, her voice trembling. “Don’t stop. I want everyone to see it. I want them to know exactly who had me like this.”
He kisses her again, rougher this time, his tongue claiming her mouth while his hips keep that punishing rhythm, rolling forward and grinding against her clit whenever he settles fully inside her, staying there to let her feel the pressure build without release.
“You’re dripping everywhere,” he growls against her lips, his voice shaking. “Soaking my cock—dripping down my balls—making everything so fucking wet. You’re gonna leave a puddle on the sheets, baby. Gonna make me smell like you for days.”
She lets out a broken sound, her body trembling as she clings to him, her legs tightening around his waist while her walls flutter around him.
“Soobin—I’m right there,” she says breathlessly. “If you keep moving like that I’m going to lose it. I can feel everything you’re doing.”
He slows again, just enough—thrusting deep and holding—grinding slow circles with his hips—keeping her right on the brink without letting her tip over.
“Wait a little longer, baby, it will be worth it, I promise.” he whispers, kissing her more softly now, the tenderness of it clashing with the way his cock moves inside her. “I want to feel you fall apart properly... I want to hear you beg for it. I want to mark you more, I want your insides to be shaped like me, so only I will be able to fill you so well, I want you to always remember how good I make you feel.”
She whimpers, frustrated but needy, her hips move weakly but with a contagious rhythm, trying to find friction. “Then stop holding back,” she murmurs against his mouth. “You’re the one making me desperate. If you want me begging, keep going like that… because you feel too good for me to stay quiet.”
He kisses her again, slow and claiming —then pulls back—thrusting slow once more—building the pace again— he picks up speed, but the rhythm turns sharper, hips driving forward with more force, each thrust landing harder, wetter, the slick sound of their bodies colliding filling the room like a filthy heartbeat. She’s dripping now—gushing around him every time he pulls back—coating his cock, his balls, the sheets beneath her ass in a warm, sticky mess that makes every slide smoother, louder, more obscene.
Her hands clutch at him as she trembles beneath him, her voice breaking again as she tries to keep up with him.
“Soobin… don’t stop now,” she breathes. “If you keep moving like that, I’m not going to last.”
“Listen to this,” he whispers hoarsely against her mouth, his voice rough with effort. “Listen to how wet you are? How creamy you are? You’re soaking everything—making a mess for me, do you hear how good we sound together? Our harmony? Your pussy squeezing me so tightly every time I try to pull away—like you never want me to leave and I know you don’t want me to go.”
A sharp, desperate sob escapes her as her nails scratching down his back, leaving red burning lines across his skin that marks him in the best possible way. “Soobin—please,” she gasps. “You can’t keep doing this to me. I can’t take it anymore. I didn’t know you were so mean… you've never been this mean to me before."
“I’m sorry my love, I know I’m being mean… but you deserve it, don’t be sad, it will be worth it— I know it will.” he whispers, his voice softer now, kissing her slowly and passionately, his tongue sliding against hers in a slow, maddening rhythm. “I’ll let you come” he continues quietly against her lips, “But only when you tell me what you want. Tell me exactly where you want me. Tell me you need this—that you need me inside—that you need me to fill you up— you'll thank me for it later.”
She cries out beneath him, frustration and desperation mixing together as her hips move restlessly against his. “Inside—please—need to feel you,” she breathes, her voice breaking. “I want you to come inside me. Don’t pull away… just stay right there and make me yours— I want to feel you when it happens.”
He groans—rough, broken—pace faltering for a second as her words hit him. “Say it again,” he demands, his voice darker now as his pace picks up again “Beg for it. Beg me to come inside you. Beg me to breed you—fill you so full you’ll feel me for days.”
Her fingers tighten against his shoulders as she meets his gaze. “Please—Soobin—come inside me—breed me—fill me up—want your cum—want to feel you leaking out of me—please—need it—need you—please—”she says breathlessly. “Don’t… don't hold back anymore.”
“Good girl,”He kisses her fiercely, like he’s claiming her breath for himself, then pulls back just enough to look at her. His eyes are dark, hungry, almost reverent.
“Good girl,” he growls—voice wrecked. “That’s it—beg for it—beg for my cum—beg to be filled.”
Her voice breaks when she answers, raw with emotion.
“Please… don’t stop. Come inside. I need you.”
He moves again, holding her close as the tension finally snaps between them.
“Come for me,” he whispers, the command low and steady. “Come on my cock—milk me—squeeze every drop out of me—let me fill you—Let go.”
She does.
The sound that leaves her is half-sob, half-cry as the release hits her all at once. walls clamping down hard around him, pulsing violently as she comes—gushing wet, soaking him, soaking the sheets—body convulsing, thighs shaking, nails digging into his back hard enough to draw blood and clings to him like he’s the only thing holding her together.
He follows moments later, a low groan breaking from his chest as he buries his face against her shoulder—cock pulsing thick ropes fully deep inside her, filling her until it leaks out around his base, dripping down her thighs in warm, sticky trails. holding her tightly while the last of the tension drains from them both.
He keeps moving against her in slow, gentle motions, milking every last drop of sensation from them both until they’re both trembling, oversensitive and spent. and for a while they just stay there, breathing hard, bodies still shaking.
Eventually he collapses gently over her, careful not to crush her, his forehead resting against hers.
“Hey,” he murmurs softly, his voice hoarse now instead of rough. “You okay?”
She nods weakly, curling closer to him and hiding her face in the warmth of his neck.
“Yes,” she breathes.
He presses a slow kiss to her temple, holding it there for a moment as his arms tighten around her.
A quiet smile spreads across his face, subtle but certain and victorious
Because she asked for him. Because she fell apart in his arms. Because she just begged him to breed her. Because, in this moment, she chose him completely.
The room quiets after the storm passes—only their breathing left, uneven at first, then slowing together until it syncs, soft and even, like the tide pulling back after a wave. Soobin stays inside her a little longer—still half-hard—rocking gently through the aftershocks while she clings to him, thighs trembling around his hips, face buried in the crook of his neck.
He finally eases out—slow—both of them wincing at the sudden emptiness. Slick leaks out immediately—warm, thick—dripping down her thighs and onto the sheets beneath her. She makes a small, embarrassed sound; he shushes her with a kiss to her temple, hand sliding between her legs to cup her gently, palm pressing against her swollen folds like he’s holding everything in place.
“Stay still,” he murmurs—voice hoarse, tender. “Let me take care of you.”
She nods—too spent to argue—lets him roll off her and disappear for a moment. He returns with a warm washcloth, kneels between her parted thighs again, cleans her with careful strokes—gentle over her clit, thorough between her folds—then wipes himself down before tossing the cloth aside. He pulls the comforter up over them both, tucking it around her shoulders, then gathers her against his chest—arm around her waist, hand splayed protective over her stomach.
She curls into him immediately—face pressed to his collarbone, leg thrown over his hip—still trembling faintly from the intensity. He strokes her back in long, soothing lines, fingers tracing her spine, then circling back up to thread through her hair.
“You okay?” he asks after a while voice soft, almost careful, like he’s afraid the answer might change everything.
She nods against his skin—small, sleepy. “More than okay. Just… overwhelmed. In a good way.”
He exhales relieved and kisses the top of her head. “Good. That’s all I want.”
Silence settles again, warm and easy. Her breathing evens out as her body relaxes against his. He keeps stroking her back in slow, steady passes until she’s completely at ease.
Came apart on his tongue, around his cock, screaming his name like a prayer.
She chose him and he has no intention of letting her go.
౨ৎ ݁ ˖𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒: Hey guys, so things are getting goooood… so I think it's best to let you know that we'll probably only have 1 or 2 more chapters until the end of this fanfic. I had a lot of fun, but new ideas came up and you know how it is, right… I think I must be in my Soobin-core era. Until 2 weeks ago it was Yeonjun, now it was Soobin, and I can already see Gyu at the top of the hill, which I'll climb when I have the courage lol. I'm finishing this fanfic here and I already have others on the way, but I'm curious what you want to read? Like, with whom? Does anyone have any requests? ♡
౨ৎ prev ✧ next ౨ৎtag open: @black-startxt, @buttersoob,@idkguyslma @toru-saki @amelie-sama-blog @binniesbabe @ravenslocked @usuallyunlikelyfox

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
౨ৎ 𝒯𝓌𝑜 𝒫𝒾𝑒𝒸𝑒𝓈 ౨ৎ
𝓑𝓮𝓸𝓶𝓰𝔂𝓾 𝔁 𝒻𝑒𝓂!𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻
ღ 𝒮𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: Two houses stand side by side, divided only by a stretch of wild land and years of quiet restraint. A boy, often confined by care and concern, learns the world from a window. A girl, raised with patience and observation, learns how to walk through it gently. What begins with shared glances and unspoken understanding grows into friendship, then something softer and deeper, shaped by waiting rather than urgency. This is a story where love does not rush to be named, where listening becomes devotion, and where two lives learn to grow together, piece by piece.
˚₊‧꒰ 𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒: historical au, slow burn romance, friends to lovers, soft / gentle love, poetic, patience, care, and becoming
˚₊‧꒰ 𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: very slow burn, emotional vulnerability, Illness mentioned (non-graphic), parental overprotection, no explicit content
˚₊‧꒰ 𝒜𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇’𝓈 𝒩𝑜𝓉𝑒: this story believes that love does not need to arrive whole. It believes in pauses, in patience, in choosing someone without demanding certainty. this is a story for those who understand that slowness can be beautiful, and that some hearts are not meant to be rushed, only understood.
˚₊‧꒰𝒾𝓃𝓈𝓅𝒾𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝒷𝓎: quiet, reflective poetry
Morning always arrives slowly in your house.
You were seated by the window, fingers resting against the sill, while the land beyond stretched wide and untamed. The wild moved as if it belonged only to itself, bending under the weight of the wind, alive in ways that felt almost personal.
That was when you noticed him.
Across the distance, framed by the glass of the neighboring estate, a boy stood in his bedroom, still and thoughtful, his gaze fixed on the same stretch of land. He did not look lost, yet there was something heavy in the way his shoulders rested, as if he had been holding himself together for longer than anyone noticed.
You did not look away immediately. Neither did he.
Later, when the house filled with quiet footsteps and distant voices, you found yourself returning to the window. He was still there, hands loosely folded, eyes tracing the movement of the grass as though it understood him better than people ever had.
You wondered how long he had been watching the world instead of living in it.
In the days that followed, the routine formed without permission. Every morning, every evening, he appeared. Sometimes closer to the glass, sometimes farther back, yet always facing the wild, always carrying the same quiet weight.
It felt strange how comfort arrived before conversation.
You learned this while standing by the window again, your chin resting against your knuckles, eyes following the way the wild bent and straightened itself without ever asking permission. The world felt larger at this age, heavier somehow, yet full of hidden doors you had not learned how to open.
Beomgyu was there, of course. He always was.
Today, he sat on the floor instead of standing, his back pressed to the wall beneath the window, knees pulled close to his chest. He looked younger like this, less like a Viscount’s son and more like a boy who had not yet decided who he was allowed to become.
You tilted your head, curious.
It surprised you how curiosity could feel so tender.
You wondered what made him quiet. You wondered what made him watch instead of speak. You wondered if he ever felt the same way you did, like your heart was practicing something it did not yet know how to do.
Later, when your mother called your name from the hallway, you answered softly and returned to the window only after the house settled again. Beomgyu had shifted positions, now sitting cross-legged, fingers absentmindedly tracing shapes on the glass.
You lifted your hand and copied the movement on your side, tracing nothing, feeling everything.
He noticed.
His eyes widened slightly before softening, and he smiled, small and uncertain, like he was trying something new and hoping it would not break. He raised his hand too, his fingers hovering just where yours rested, close but not touching.
You felt your chest warm in a way that startled you.
Neither of you spoke. At this age, words often felt too big, too risky, and silence felt safer, full of possibilities instead of mistakes.
You thought about how love, at fifteen, did not arrive fully formed. It arrived as wondering. It arrived as waiting by windows and tracing shapes you could not explain. It arrived as the feeling that someone else was learning the world at the same pace as you.
Beomgyu shifted, resting his forehead briefly against the glass, his breath fogging it just enough to blur his face. You smiled without realizing it, because somehow, even that felt like trust.
Maybe this was what it meant to care for someone before knowing what caring truly was. Just two hearts, still growing, holding their pieces carefully, believing that one day they might learn how to fit them.
The afternoon pulled you outside before you understood why.
The air felt softer than usual, touched with the warmth that only arrived when the day was undecided about becoming evening. You walked slowly across the edge of the field, skirts brushing against tall grass, your steps careful, as if the ground itself deserved gentleness.
You did not look toward the house.
Instead, you focused on the way the wild responded to you. The grass bent around your legs. The wind moved your hair across your face. For a moment, it felt like the world was noticing you in small, quiet ways.
From his window, Beomgyu watched.
He leaned against the frame, fingers curled loosely around the wood, his body still except for the subtle rise and fall of his breathing. Seeing you outside felt different than seeing you through glass. You were closer to the wild now, part of it, moving through the same space he had spent so long observing.
He noticed things he had never allowed himself to notice before.
The way you paused to fix a ribbon at your wrist.
The way you looked up at the sky as if it might answer you back.
The way you smiled to yourself, soft and unguarded.
His chest tightened, not painfully, but with something new and unfamiliar.
You stopped near the center of the field, crouching to touch the tips of the grass, your fingers brushing over green and gold. You laughed quietly at nothing in particular, the sound carried away by the wind before it could return to you.
Beomgyu swallowed.
At sixteen, emotions did not ask permission. They arrived suddenly, full and confusing, leaving you unsure whether to hold them close or step away before they noticed you back.
He shifted his weight, resting his forehead briefly against the cool glass, his gaze never leaving you. There was something fragile about this moment, about seeing you without being seen, as though he had been trusted with a secret he did not yet know how to keep.
You stood again and turned slightly, still unaware, your attention caught by the movement of clouds drifting apart overhead. Blue opened slowly above you, patient and wide.
Beomgyu felt it then.
That quiet realization that caring could happen even before words, even before courage.
You were still learning who you were.
So was he.
And somewhere between watching and waiting, between distance and closeness, the feeling settled gently into place.
You walked back toward the house with grass still clinging to the hem of your dress, your fingers brushing together as though they were holding onto something invisible. There was a strange warmth in your chest, one that had followed you since you stepped outside, and you did not yet have the words to explain it.
You paused at the doorway before going in.
The field behind you looked calmer now, resting after the wind, and for a brief moment you felt like you were leaving something unfinished out there. You glanced back, your eyes scanning the wild without really searching for anything specific.
You did not look up.
From his window, Beomgyu watched you stop.
He noticed the hesitation in your step, the way your shoulders lifted slightly before settling again, like you were deciding whether to listen to a thought or let it pass. He wondered if you felt it too, that quiet pull that stayed even after the moment had ended.
When you finally went inside, the light in your room flickered on soon after. Beomgyu stepped back from the window then, his heart beating faster than it had any right to. He sat on the edge of his bed, hands resting on his knees, staring at the floor as if it might explain what he was feeling.
Later, as night settled fully, you returned to your window, candlelight soft against the glass. You leaned there, your cheek resting briefly against the frame, your thoughts wandering without direction.
You thought about the field.
You thought about being watched by the sky.
You thought about how some days felt like they were made of questions instead of answers.
Across from you, Beomgyu stood again, careful and quiet, meeting your gaze at last. There was no surprise this time, only recognition, like both of you had arrived at the same place from different paths.
He lifted his hand slowly.
You did the same, your movements matching without effort.
Neither of you smiled fully. feelings were too new to wear comfortably, too tender to show without fear.
The next day did not arrive gently.
Voices filled the house earlier than usual, footsteps crossing halls, doors opening and closing with purpose. You moved through it all quietly, fastening your sleeves, listening without fully hearing, your thoughts elsewhere, already pulled toward the hours that came after obligations.
By the time the afternoon settled, you slipped outside again, not to the center of the field this time, but closer to the old tree near the fence. Its branches leaned low, offering shade and a sense of shelter, as if it understood the need to stand somewhere without being seen too much.
You sat in the grass, knees drawn close, a book resting unopened in your lap.
From his room, Beomgyu noticed the change immediately.
You were not wandering today. You were waiting, though even you might not have known for what. He watched you tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, then pause, your fingers lingering there, uncertain, thoughtful.
He stepped away from the window.
The movement startled him.
His heart beat faster as he made his way down the stairs, the house unusually quiet, each step feeling louder than the last. He stopped near the back door, his hand hovering over the handle, doubt settling in like a familiar companion.
Outside, you shifted your position beneath the tree, the grass cool against your palms. You looked up at the sky, watching clouds gather and separate again, your expression soft but distant, like someone practicing patience without realizing it.
The door behind the house opened.
You did not turn right away.
Beomgyu stepped out slowly, the air brushing against his face, grounding him. He stood there for a moment, unsure where to place himself, before taking a few careful steps forward. The field felt different from this side, closer, louder, more real.
You heard the sound then.
You turned, surprised, your eyes widening just slightly when you saw him standing there, hands tucked nervously at his sides, shoulders drawn in as if he were unsure whether he was allowed to be part of this space.
Neither of you spoke at first.
He shifted his weight, then looked up at you, his gaze honest and tentative.
He cleared his throat, then hesitated, as though the sound itself surprised him.
“I hope I am not intruding,” he said at last, his voice quiet, careful, shaped by manners learned early and feelings learned late. He bowed his head slightly, more out of habit than confidence. “I saw you here and thought it might be improper to pass without greeting.”
You shifted your weight, the grass bending beneath you, and offered a small, uncertain smile.
“You are not intruding,” you replied, after a breath. “I was only sitting. The day felt too fine to remain indoors.”
Your words sounded steadier than you felt. Your hands loosened and tightened again, betraying you despite your effort.
He nodded, eyes dropping briefly to the ground before lifting again, as if he were gathering courage piece by piece.
“My name is Beomgyu,” he said. “We have lived as neighbors for years, yet I fear I have known you only by distance.”
You felt something warm stir at that, something gentle and almost shy.
“I am glad you have crossed it, then,” you answered. “I am glad we need not be strangers any longer.”
For a moment, neither of you knew what followed such honesty.
He took a careful step closer, not enough to invade your space, only enough to lessen the emptiness between you. His hands rested at his sides, fingers tense, as if he were holding himself together by will alone.
“I am not always good with words,” he admitted, a faint, embarrassed smile touching his lips. “Still, I wished to say that I often see you by your window. It brings a sort of comfort I did not know I was seeking.”
Your breath caught softly, though you did not step back.
“I see you as well,” you confessed, your voice lower now, more intimate. “I thought it strange at first, how easily a presence could become familiar.”
He let out a quiet breath, something close to a laugh, though it carried more relief than mirth.
“Perhaps we are both learning,” he said, meeting your eyes fully this time.
You nodded, the motion slow, thoughtful.
“Yes,” you agreed. “Learning seems the proper word.”
Silence settled again, yet it no longer felt uncertain. It felt earned.
Beomgyu shifted slightly, as if unsure whether he should stay or excuse himself, then seemed to decide that neither choice felt entirely right. He glanced toward the field, then back to you, his expression open in a way that felt unpracticed.
“I have not often spoken with someone outside my household,” he said, almost apologetically. “If I say something amiss, I hope you will forgive it.”
You smiled at that, warmth rising easily.
“I fear we are equally matched in that regard,” you replied. “I am better at listening than at speaking wisely.”
He let out a soft breath, something lighter than before.
“Then perhaps this will suit us both,” he said.
You turned slightly so you were no longer facing him directly, your gaze drifting toward the wild. It made the closeness easier, as though sharing the same view allowed the words to come without scrutiny.
“Do you often watch the field?” you asked, your tone curious rather than probing.
“Yes,” he answered after a moment. “It reminds me that things may grow without being instructed how. I find that comforting.”
You nodded, considering.
“I come here when my thoughts feel too crowded,” you said. “The wind seems to sort them better than I can.”
He glanced at you then, something thoughtful settling in his eyes.
“I believe I understand that,” he said quietly.
A pause followed, gentle and unhurried.
After a moment, you gestured lightly toward the house behind him. “Does your family mind the quiet?” you asked. “Mine insists upon filling every hour with something.”
He smiled, small and genuine.
“They mean well,” he said. “Yet silence is often kinder to me than conversation.”
You looked at him again, truly looked this time, and felt a sense of ease settle between you.
“I am glad you spoke to me today,” you said. “I think I should have regretted it had you not.”
His fingers curled briefly, then relaxed.
“I felt the same,” he admitted. “Though I was uncertain whether courage would find me.”
“It did,” you said simply.
The sky began to soften toward evening, light shifting slowly, patiently. Neither of you rushed to fill the space with more words, content instead to let the conversation breathe, to learn each other not through confessions but through presence.
And when you finally parted, offering polite goodbyes that lingered longer than necessary, you both carried the same quiet thought with you.
This was not something to hurry,It was something to know, slowly and sincerely.
The days began to pass with a quieter rhythm. You no longer counted them by obligation or routine, but by moments. A shared glance across the field. A few words exchanged beneath the tree and the way conversations grew less careful.
Some afternoons, you walked together along the edge of the wild, never too close to the house, never far enough to feel improper. Your steps matched without effort, as though your bodies had learned a language before your voices dared to.
Beomgyu spoke more now, though still gently.
One day, after a long pause that felt heavier than the others, he slowed his pace and looked toward the grass instead of at you.
“I do not often say this aloud,” he began, his tone steady but restrained, “yet I find myself uncertain of where I belong.”
You did not interrupt. You adjusted your steps to his and waited.
“My mother worries greatly,” he continued, fingers brushing together as he walked. “Since my illness, she prefers me indoors, safe, watched, untouched by what might unsettle me.” He hesitated, then added, quieter, “I understand her fear. Still, I sometimes feel as though I am watching life instead of living it.”
You listened, fully, without preparing an answer.
He glanced at you then, as if expecting reassurance, or perhaps correction, but you offered neither. You only nodded, your expression open, inviting him to continue if he wished.
“There are days,” he said, “when I stand at the window and wonder whether the world would notice if I stepped into it.”
Your chest tightened, though your voice remained calm.
“I believe it already has,” you said softly. “In ways it does not yet know how to name.”
He considered that, his gaze returning to the sky.
You did not tell him he would be fine, you did not tell him what he should become. And somehow, that was enough.
As the days passed, his words grew braver. He spoke of feeling behind others his age, of carrying expectations he did not feel strong enough to hold yet. You spoke too, in time, about the quiet pressure of being proper, of knowing the rules but not always understanding their purpose.
You were walking beside him along the familiar path when Beomgyu slowed, his steps thoughtful, as if he were weighing something that mattered more than it appeared.
“My mother will be occupied this afternoon,” he said, not looking at you at first. “She has agreed to visit my aunt in the neighboring town.” He paused, then added, carefully, “I wondered whether you might wish to join me in the garden behind our house. It is sheltered, and I am permitted to be there.”
You stopped walking.
Not because the invitation startled you, but because it felt important in a way that asked for respect.
“I would like that,” you answered after a moment. “Very much.”
His shoulders eased, the tension leaving them as if he had been holding his breath longer than he realized.
The afternoon unfolded slowly.
You arrived with a small basket, modest and neatly arranged, nothing extravagant. Bread wrapped in linen. Fruit cut carefully. A little jar of honey you had insisted upon bringing, though you were not certain why.
Beomgyu was already waiting in the garden, a blanket laid beneath the shade of a low tree. The space felt different from the field, quieter, more contained, yet still open enough to let the sky be part of it.
“I was uncertain whether I had prepared enough,” he said, straightening the edge of the cloth with unnecessary care.
“It is more than enough,” you replied, kneeling beside him. “I think the day itself has already given us plenty.”
You sat with a polite distance between you at first, passing food back and forth, thanking each other more often than necessary. The conversation moved gently, from small observations to shared laughter that surprised you both.
He spoke of books he read by the window.
You spoke of letters you never sent.
At one point, he fell quiet, his gaze drifting toward the house.
“My mother believes rest is safety,” he said softly. “I do not blame her. Still, there are moments when I wish she could see that being careful is not the same as being alive.”
You listened, your hands folded in your lap.
“She loves you,” you said, not as an argument, but as an acknowledgment. “And yet, it is not wrong to want more than protection.”
He looked at you then, truly looked, as if your words had given shape to something he had not dared to think clearly. Beomgyu glanced at the basket again, thoughtful, and spoke with a hint of shy curiosity.
“May I ask,” he said, adjusting the sleeve at his wrist, “what food you favor most? I find such things tell much about a person.”
You smiled, surprised by the gentleness of the question.
“I have always liked pears,” you replied. “They are patient fruits. They do not rush to sweetness.”
He considered that carefully.
“I think that suits you,” he said, then flushed faintly, clearing his throat. “I mean the patience. Not only the fruit.”
You laughed softly, warmth rising to your cheeks.
“And you?” you asked. “What do you choose, when choice is yours?”
“Bread with honey,” he answered without hesitation. “It reminds me of mornings when the house was quieter, before worry learned how to speak.”
You nodded, understanding more than the words alone suggested.
A little later, as the light shifted through the leaves, you asked about colors. He admitted that he favored blue, not the deep kind, but the pale shade that appeared after storms. You told him you liked green best, because it promised return, even after harsh seasons.
He listened closely, as if memorizing you through these small truths.
“What of music?” he asked then. “I listen when I am alone. It feels easier that way.”
“I do as well,” you said. “Songs help me hold feelings I do not yet understand.”
He smiled at that, soft and genuine.
“There is one song,” he said slowly
You did not ask him to name it.
You spoke then of small hopes, of places you wished to see one day, of how the world felt too large and too near all at once. He told you he wished to learn how to step forward without fear of disappointing those who loved him.
The breeze passed through the garden, lifting the edge of the blanket, carrying the sound of distant birds. You shared the last of the fruit, your fingers brushing briefly when you reached for the same piece, both of you pulling back at once, then smiling, embarrassed but unafraid.
When the time came to part, the sun already lowering behind the house, Beomgyu walked you to the edge of the garden.
“Thank you,” he said simply.
You nodded, your smile warm and genuine.
“Thank you for inviting me.”
Months passed without announcement. They arrived gently, carried by changing light and cooler air, by routines that no longer felt new yet never felt dull. What once required courage now came with ease. You no longer hesitated before stepping into the garden, nor did Beomgyu retreat to the window as often as before.
It was on an afternoon softened by early autumn that the word finally found its place.
You were seated on the low stone wall, your feet brushing fallen leaves, while Beomgyu stood nearby, turning a small branch over in his hands as if it were a thought he had not yet released.
“My mother asked about you this morning,” he said, casual, though his shoulders tensed slightly. “She wished to know how I pass my afternoons.”
You glanced at him, curious but untroubled.
“And what did you tell her?”
He hesitated, then smiled, a little unsure, but honest.
“I told her I spend time with a friend.”
The word lingered between you.
Friend.
You felt it settle, not with disappointment, but with warmth, as if it had always been waiting patiently for the right moment. You nodded, your expression soft.
“I think that is a fine word,” you said. “It holds care without asking for more than one is ready to give.”
He exhaled, relief evident.
“Yes,” he agreed. “That is precisely why I chose it.”
You spoke then of ordinary things, of the coming season, of books and letters and small plans. Yet something had shifted quietly. The comfort between you had grown strong enough to carry a name.
Friendship did not lessen what you felt.
It deepened it.
And waiting learned new meanings that season.
It was no longer only the space between meetings, or the pause before footsteps reached the garden. It became something spoken aloud in drawing rooms and hallways, shaped by expectations that did not ask whether hearts were ready.
Your family spoke gently, yet firmly.
They asked of prospects and proper timelines, of when affection ought to become intention, and intention ought to become decision. You listened with composure, hands folded neatly, answering with courtesy while something steadier formed beneath your calm.
“I am in no haste,” you said more than once, your voice respectful, unyielding in its softness.
Later, when you walked with Beomgyu beneath a sky heavy with clouds, he spoke of similar questions, though his carried a different weight.
“My mother fears delay,” he admitted, his gaze fixed ahead. “She believes time is a fragile thing for me. That I must be guided quickly, before I falter.”
You slowed your steps, allowing him to do the same.
“And what do you believe?” you asked, not challenging, only curious.
He was quiet for a while. Then he smiled faintly, uncertain but sincere.
“I believe I have spent much of my life being hurried toward safety,” he said. “I think I should like, for once, to move at a pace that allows me to feel.”
That evening, after parting, you thought of the phrase that had taken root in your chest. Even if I say I have to wait in line. It no longer sounded like delay. It sounded like devotion, patient and intentional.
Days passed, and whispers followed you both. Some called your bond hesitant. Others called it impractical. Love, they suggested, ought to be decisive, visible, swift.
You chose patience anyway. Not because you were uncertain, but because you were sure enough to wait.
Beomgyu learned this slowly, watching the way you never pressed, never demanded reassurance, never asked him to become more than he could hold. In your presence, time did not threaten. It allowed.
“I am grateful,” he told you one afternoon, his voice quiet but resolute. “You do not treat my pauses as failures.”
You smiled at him then, warmth steady in your eyes.
“They are not pauses,” you said. “They are part of your becoming.”
The wind moved through the trees, unhurried, teaching its own lesson.
You had come that afternoon to return a book Beomgyu had lent you, its pages carefully marked, its spine worn in a way that suggested it had been read more than once. The house felt quieter than usual, the kind of quiet that carried awareness rather than rest.
Beomgyu met you at the door, a brief flicker of surprise crossing his face before composure returned.
“My mother is at home today,” he said softly, as if offering you a choice even as the moment moved forward. “If you would prefer another time, I would understand.”
You shook your head gently.
“It is quite all right,” you replied. “I should not like to hide.”
He nodded, something grateful settling in his expression, and led you inside.
His mother awaited you in the sitting room, seated upright, hands folded neatly in her lap. Her gaze was keen, not unkind, yet searching in the way of someone who had learned to worry deeply and often.
“You must be the young lady my son speaks of,” she said, rising to her feet. Her voice was composed, measured. “I am pleased to make your acquaintance.”
You curtsied properly, meeting her eyes without challenge.
“The pleasure is mine,” you answered. “Your home is most welcoming.”
She observed you as you spoke, noting your calm, your restraint, the way you did not rush to fill the space with words. Beomgyu stood nearby, attentive but quiet, his posture respectful, his hands still.
They spoke of ordinary things at first. The weather. The garden. The book you returned. Yet beneath the civility ran a current of careful judgment.
“My son’s health requires certain considerations,” his mother said eventually, her gaze steady on you. “I trust you understand that his well-being must come before youthful fancies.”
“I understand entirely,” you replied. “Care is not something I take lightly.”
Her expression shifted then, just slightly.
“And yet,” she continued, “I have noticed that he seems lighter of spirit these days.”
You smiled, not proudly, but warmly.
“He has taught me much about attentiveness,” you said. “I believe kindness grows best when given room.”
The room fell quiet.
His mother studied you again, more thoughtfully this time.
“You do not appear to press him,” she said at last.
“No,” you answered simply. “I walk beside him.”
Beomgyu’s breath caught softly at that, though he said nothing.
When you departed later, escorted politely to the door, his mother inclined her head.
“Thank you for your visit,” she said. “You are welcome here.”
It was not approval but it was not refusal either.
Outside, Beomgyu walked with you a short distance, his expression a mixture of relief and awe.
“You were very brave,” he said quietly.
You shook your head, smiling.
“I was only honest.” and in that honesty, something shifted.
You returned home with measured steps, the book no longer in your hands, the encounter lingering instead in your thoughts. You replayed small moments, the tone of his mother’s voice, the way her eyes softened just enough to suggest consideration rather than dismissal.
It felt like standing at the edge of something that required steadiness.
The next day, when you met Beomgyu near the path where the trees thinned, he seemed quieter than usual, though not withdrawn. He walked beside you with care, as if matching his breath to his steps.
“She did not ask me to stop seeing you,” he said eventually, his voice low, thoughtful. “In the past, she would have.”
You glanced at him, attentive.
“And how does that leave you?” you asked.
He took a moment before answering, as though testing the honesty of his own thoughts.
“It leaves me uncertain,” he admitted. “Yet also relieved. I am learning that I need not decide everything at once.”
You nodded.
“Time does not disappear because we use it gently,” you said. “It often reveals more that way.”
He smiled then, a small, grateful curve of his lips, and you sensed how much he needed permission rather than instruction.
Later, as you sat together beneath a sky turning pale with dusk, he spoke again, his voice carrying a quiet resolve.
“There are moments when I fear I am asking too much patience of you,” he said. “That I am making you wait without offering promise.”
You turned toward him fully.
“I am not standing in line because I am unsure,” you said softly. “I wait because I choose to.”
The words settled between you, unadorned yet full.
He exhaled slowly, as if something had loosened within him.
“I am grateful you allow me time,” he said. “I am learning that it is not something I must earn through haste.”
Love, you understood now, was not diminished by slowness. It was clarified by it. It grew not through urgency, but through the courage to remain present, to trust that care would deepen if given space.
Night rested over the house with a careful calm, settling into corners and hallways as though it knew this hour mattered.
Beomgyu sat beside the small bed, the lamp turned low, its light warm and kind. Serin lay beneath her blanket, her breathing already slowing, though her eyes remained open, waiting.
“The old story,” she said, barely above a whisper.
Beomgyu inclined his head and began, not as one who explained, but as one who remembered.
“There was once a boy,” he said softly, “who learned the world through a window. He watched the sky instead of the road, the wind instead of people, because he had not yet learned how to step forward without fear.”
Serin’s fingers relaxed against the sheets.
“One day, he noticed a girl walking through the wild land near their homes. She moved as though the earth trusted her. She did not know she was being seen, and because of that, the moment was pure.”
At the doorway, she stood quietly.
She did not enter the room. She rested her shoulder against the frame, listening, her presence light, careful not to disturb what was unfolding. The sound of his voice carried through the space, familiar and full.
“The boy did not speak to her at once,” Beomgyu continued. “They learned each other slowly. Through small truths. Favorite colors. Simple meals. Songs that reminded them it was all right to feel uncertain.” He paused, choosing his words with the same care he always had.
“The boy was often lost,” he said. “Quietly on his own head. His mother loved him deeply and feared the world might take too much from him, so his life learned patience early.”
Her hand tightened gently at the doorframe.
“But the girl,” Beomgyu went on, his voice warming, “did not mistake waiting for weakness. She listened instead of correcting. She stayed beside him instead of demanding. She believed that even when one must wait in line, love can still be choosing.”
Serin shifted, sleep drawing closer now.
“Years passed,” he said. “The boy learned he was allowed time. The girl learned that patience could be devotion. And together, they learned that love does not need to hurry to be true.”
The story softened, becoming almost a hush.
“That is how a quiet beginning became a life,” Beomgyu finished. “Not all at once. Not loudly. But piece by piece, until it felt like home.”
Serin was asleep before the silence fully settled.
Beomgyu tucked the blanket closer around her and stood. In the doorway, his gaze met hers. No words passed between them. None were needed.
They moved down the hall together, hands brushing, the past folding gently into the present. The window, the field, the waiting. All of it lived on, not as ache, but as foundation.
Somewhere in that quiet, the truth once carried by Two Pieces lingered still.
Love had never asked them to be whole.
Only to be patient.
And that patience had become everything.
okay i need to vent a bit because HELPPPPPPP I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT ITTTTT
i saw harry last week. LAST WEEK.
and at the beginning of this year i saw sunghoon in milan during the bolivar torch moment.
like… what is going on with my life???
i never see anybody. ever. and then when i do, it’s celebrities just being themselves walking down the street so i don’t approach. i just stand there pretending i’m normal while internally buffering.
but those two times??? i was going crazyyyy.
mrs. park sunghoon… he is unbelievably more pretty in person. like unreal. and he actually looks more manly than i thought? i expected him to be a bit more delicate, softer features maybe? can i even say that???
noooooooo.
this man is aging like fine water. not wine. water. clear. sharp. powerful.
i was having flashbacks to his younger years the whole time. the growth, the evolution.
and he was having so much fun with the people there. i thought he would be way more shy. he was shy at first, yes, but then boom. engenes did such a good job reassuring him because he really got out of his shell. and his shy smile??? the cutest thing in this world.
there were so many people there and he is way more charismatic than people give him credit for. it was insane.
AND THEN.
harry styles.
WHY does he STILL have this hold on me like ??? sir i built half my personality at 14 around you. my entire writer era blueprint has your fingerprints on it.
and listen. LISTEN.
if there is a little forehead expansion happening? if the hairline is exploring new horizons?
I. DO. NOT. CARE.
he could show up bald. fully chrome dome. reflective. aerodynamic. and i would STILL be like yes. yes exactly.
that man is the foundation. the muse.
and now i’m literally going to breathe the same london air as harry styles on TWO separate nights at wembley. WEMBLEY. I LOVE WEMBLEY.
ON MY FREAKING BIRTHDAY IN JULY.
like what kind of cosmic alignment is that???
if i pass out no i didn’t. if i cry no i didn’t. if i spiritually ascend into another dimension that’s between me and the universe.
i’m poor now. but happy.
i feel very lucky. like my two worlds finally aligned. like my younger self hugging my adult self very warmly. like all the versions of me are proud of the person i became.
GO. ME.

