this gave me whiplash
untitled

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if i look back, i am lost
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@vixxii
this gave me whiplash

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Names I hate because I never know how the specific person spells it:
Matthew or Mathew Sarah or Sara Ashley or Ashlee or Ashlie Johnathan or Johnathon
Steven Stephen Hayley Haley Hailey Zac Zach Zack Garrett Garett Garret
I can’t believe they are so many people who hate this too.
you think thats bad
Here are 135 different ways to spell Katelyn
Um excuse you, 136.
That is literally child abuse
This might be my favorite post hahaha
I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD YO BECAUSE DON’T THEY KNOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE THERE???
Let Him Have The Sausages
i almost scrolled past this, like some kind of idiot
americans are u aware that ur using the word wrong
man shut up i swearta god with yall lil ugly hard ass cookies

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i can’t get in lifts with people because i have a sort of phobia of breathing in people’s breath
and when i got asked what was wrong by my law teacher (she thought i looked ill)
I had to fucking reply “I prefer people when they’re not breathing”
i hate that my first reaction to stress is always Time To Die™ like ok calm down edgelord
THE GREATEST JOKE ADVENTURE TIME HAS EVER WRITTEN
People like to make fun of animators but jokes on them…
WHY’D YALL LEAVE OUT THE BEST ONE?
somebody: im not a furry
somebody: heres me as a zootopia citizen though
me: thats a fursona and the police are on their way

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she said, “you were pretty easy to raise as teenagers. all you did was sleep and eat.”
so to prove some point she’s going to nail a small cup of jello to a tree.
she’s so pleased with her self
incredible
parents are weird
yeah but this is about as accurate as it gets.
you say “nail jello to a tree” and most people think jello all by itself.
but if you put any actual thought into what you’re doing and then give it just a little support
well gosh. look what happens.
please tell your mom good job.
Cover your kids in plastic and watch them flourish
People need to realize that there’s a difference between straight people and Straight People™
Straight person: Hey, you got a new haircut. Looks really good.
Straight Person™: No homo, but your haircut looks good on you.
In case you were confused 👌
Just like how there are white people who are gay and then there are the White Gays
White people who are gay: “I’m gay.”
White Gays: “I can’t believe I got accused of racism after calling that person a racial slur! I mean, I know what racism looks like because I’ve been discriminated for my sexuality. How is me being racist even possible? I’M GAY!”
Lmao all the angry White and Straight people in the comments, keep reblogging
neurotypical: i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders Neurotypical™: Happiness is a choice!! ✨✨Have you tried yoga? Drink more water and eat kale ✨✨
cis person: i identify completely as my assigned gender Cis Person™: It doesn’t matter what you identify as, cause you still have Female Genitals! I’m not being offensive!! Read a book on Human Biology! 🚹🚺
men: I identify as male.
Men™: feminazis ruin everything, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch
atheists: I don’t believe in god or identify with a religion
Atheists™: Don’t fucking talk to me if you believe in God. Open your closed-fucking-minds!! (usually targeted towards Christians)
nice guys: hey I know when not to invade someone’s space and I totally respect boundaries
Nice Guys™: IVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR A MONTH AND NOW YOURE TELLING ME YOU DONT WANT TO FUCK ME ???? WHAT IS THE POINT OF WOMEN IF YOURE NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME?
this post got all kinds of better since I last saw it
This post is perfection across the board.
feminist: I believe in equality for everything between the sexes
Feminist™: ALL MEN ARE ASSHOLES AND SHOULD DIE! WE DONT NEED ANY OF THEM ANYWAYS AND THEY NEVER DO ANYTHING GOOD FOR US!!
Christian: I believe in God and his son Jesus
Christian™: We must Obey Bible In Everything and Take It Literally and if you don’t do it you’re Going To Hell! I’m praying for you to find God and have your sins Forgiven! Other religions are from Satan and So Is Atheism!
Tumblr Code.
If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person
must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!
Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.
always reblog tumblr identification
This is an absolute tumblr relic. I feel like an archaeologist right now. This is incredible that this is on my dash.
this is from an era long passed
The worst thing you can do on Tumblr is make a post

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what the hell r u doing unfollowing me while im asleep that is disrespectful