my favorite thing is when you pick up an animal and you look them in the eyes and you can tell nothings going on behind them. you look at them and theres just elevator music. stupid animals really are like the fucking best, the lights are on but no one is home

that also happens when u pick me up and look into my eyes

I think if people were less vapid and maybe a little less concerned with physical appearance theyd talk to me and see that I'm actually very abrasive and incredibly uninteresting

i really am, from the bottom of my heart, an actual fucking idiot

I have never seen anything more accurate in my life

*has video game open* hm i dont feel like playing this right now actually *closes it* man i wish i was playing video game right now *opens it again* hm i dont feel like playing this right now actually *closes it

fishing is dope you just lie to animals

damn im hungry time to go emotionally manipulate some fish

I have the ability to speak to shrimps (Shrimpathy). unfortunately this does not allow them to respond or understand what im saying

if you plug your headphones into a hole in tree you can hear tree thoughts. stuff like “birds live in my hair” “water is my favorite” “the sun is my boyfriend”

No matter how old you are, an empty wrapping paper tube is still fun to bonk someone over the head with.

Retrograde does not affect me... Im already silly billy mode 24/7 ...

Yeah but I haven’t needed a claw to reach the top shelf since I was 7 so stay mad about it shrimp

Went straight for their kneecaps on that one