Officially 1 year anniversary since marrying my wife! (β Β β Λβ Β β Β³β Λβ )β‘
I really wanted to talk about my experience with yumeshipping and how it's really helped me and overall my journey with being a Scotty yume under the read more :) If you do want to read it, big warning for sensitive topics! Otherwise, happy anniversary to us!
Let's start from the beginning, shall we?
When I first got into Star Trek I was immediately infatuated with the pairing between Montgomery Scott and Leonard McCoy, aka "scones" or "mcscotty." I was still in highschool at this point, and I remember I found fanfic of the pairing on AO3. They were all mostly written by @/aceship-sconesterprise (Mega) and @/thesconesyard (Andi), who I heavily suggest any readers to check out! Their work is amazing.
I saw that Mega linked her Tumblr account at the bottom in the notes part, and that's when I first made my Tumblr account.
I grew to love scones more and more, even making AUs and my own OCs from the ship. I soon started to slip into a mindset where I would often imagine Scotty being all loving to McCoy, but I would imagine myself AS McCoy. Essentially I was in his shoes, pretending I was being loved by Scotty. This went on for at least a year. I never told anyone I did this. I was deeply ashamed and embarrassed.
Somewhere in that year I met a friend of mine, Snowy. (@/snowysoong) Snowy yumeships with Lore from TNG, and through him I started to learn more and more about yumeshipping. For those confused it's just selfshipping with more micro labels, which I'd go on to use a few of.
Anyways, eventually I shifted my mindset and decided to imagine Scotty was talking to me personally. I found that I really liked it, and I made a self insert/sona so I had someone to imagine Scotty with, since a simple copy and paste of my actual self wouldn't cut it, I'm otherkin after all so I wanted my sona to reflect that and be the species I identify with. Thus Simon Jr was born.
Simon Jr (who's actual name is Simon, but to keep from confusion I slapped a Jr on him) quickly helped me embrace my love for Scotty more. Now I don't want to see anyone arguing that this is "unhealthy" or "delusional," I want to point out I am completely aware Scotty is a fictional character, but my love isn't any less genuine.
Through yumeshipping with Scotty it's given me motivation to keep going, sometimes even keeping me attempting suicide. A harsh reality, I know. However it's also helped me change as a person. With Scotty being there for someone to talk to in my head (a role a part of my brain simply put on) I was able to work through my emotions and problems better. After a while, I learned people could "marry" their f/o (fictional other) for fun, and I decided I'd marry Scotty.
Since then I've lived my life with the thought of him still in my head, coming in to comfort me or simply be someone to talk to- aka yes, talking to myself. Star Trek hasn't been my main focus for a while now, but I still love Scotty as a character and I'm really glad I came around to being open and honest to myself.
