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Here's my attempt at drawing the Emperor...

Judge me all you want(?) just be a little nice at least

His final spasms had been mesmerizingly acrobatic. The fall down the steps leading up to his iron throne had pretzelled his body quite impressively, both arms folded behind his back and one leg bent at a jaunty angle.

The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin.

"Shit," said the goblin.

"Shit," said the orc.

"We're likely to get blamed for this," the goblin said. She walked over to the head of the glittering mangled heap and started pulling the helmet off.

"It's not our fault," the orc said. "It's hard to help someone choking when they wear two-hundred pounds of spiked armor at all times."

"Yeah, well," the goblin grunted. The helmet came free, and the bald head of the Overlord bounced on the stone with a hollow, coconut noise. "You know how it is in this bloody country - thieves get their heads cut off so they can't think about thieving, and all that." She fished in the Overlord's mouth with a finger and pulled out the obstructing olive on the end of her claw.

She popped it into her mouth and chewed. "What do you reckon they do for a regicide?" she said.

"We should run," the orc said. She had started bouncing her leg. "I hear that there's some places in the Alliance where they just kill you and let you stay dead. That's got to be nicer than what'll happen if we stay here."

The goblin started to nod - and then her gaze fell on the helmet.

It looked like a pineapple designed by a deranged blacksmith. It was all thorns and spikes and hard edges, as though the maker had been very determined to not let pigeons roost on it. The only bits that weren't solid iron were eyeholes. Nobody had ever seen the Overlord's face.

She held up the helmet and squinted from it to the orc. One of the thorns had been bent badly in the fall.

Nobody had ever seen the Overlord's face...

"Right," she muttered. "Right. Could work - or."

The orc had a sudden vision of the immediate future. "No," she said.

"I mean you're about his height-"

"No."

"It would just be for a-"

"Absolutely not."

"Just hear me out," the goblin said. "Outside of this room are two-thousand men and orcs and goblins who are absolutely gonzo about this man, and there's a whole country of them outside of the castle, and at any moment someone's going to walk in that door and see one dead tit in black armor and two unbelievably dead idiots next to him.

"Or." She tossed the helmet up like a basketball to the orc, who fumbled and tried to find somewhere to hold it that wasn't a knife's edge. "We chuck him out the window now, walk out the door in the armor, and ditch the armor as soon as nobody sees us."

The orc had started bouncing her leg again. "They'll know something's up the second I walk out of the room."

"No worries," said the goblin. "Leave that to me."

---

It had been a very strange year for the Empire.

Change had rolled across the land as slow and inevitable as a glacier. Roads and bridges carved the gray, blasted wildlands, and a number of social reforms had made the country a place where you could be miserable, yes, but miserable in comfort and safety, and that was an improvement.

Barely anyone got boiled alive in molten metal, and even if the disgusted sun never rose to light the Empire, at least you had a roof over your head to protect yourself from the acid rain.

Rage, okay, so word on "E", eagle, on "E" again, my Lord.

We all know the story of how Thor's hammer got stolen and he had to dress up as Freya in a wedding dress to get his weapon back. Leading to hilarious shenanigans where Thor almost gives himself away, and Loki makes sure to cover his ass constantly. Ending in the giant who stole the hammer getting killed once Thor gets his hammer back.

Which of the three brothers has their weapon stolen, who is made to dress up, and who gets the Loki position in this story? We all know this had to have happened at least once. Fury probably gets Freya's position in this story. Being told some schmuck demon or other wants her as a bride, to which she vehemently declines and nearly beats the crap outta whoever asked. Freya did indeed beat up Loki for a bit just for asking. However this turns out, I'm expecting pure hilarity.

Hands down, it's Chaoseater that gets stolen. And by some headstrong demon, who only wants the best of the best(in their opinion). They're willing to make a trade of course, one treasure for another. A sword in exchange for the last female nephilim in existence, as they're bride.

Fury is all too ready to smite the creature down for purely suggesting the idea of marriage, but to her, and everybody's surprise, Death agrees to the trade and makes preparations with the demon. Naturally, his siblings want answers, and to tear open his head to see if his brain has gone missing. But the eldest leads them away and into a huddle to discuss his plan. Slowly, the faces of the three turn from angry frowns to wicked smirks.

Fast forward towards the actual wedding ritual(we are talking about demons here). Fury comes in, wearing a rather revealing get-up with her face covered by a veil, and Strife and War walking beside her. The demon in question, looking very proud with Chaoseater in hand, surrounded by an army of their followers, is more than eager to be one with their new bride. The demon priest recites the ritual rights, blah blah blah, now they may kiss the bride.

The demon takes her by the hand and lifts her veil, only to be staring at a white bone mask that somehow looks incredibly p*ssed off. The last thing he hears, was his "bride," whispering, "Til death do us part," as they are gutted by twin scythes. War, taking back Chaoseater from the corpse, jumps into a fray of angry demons along with Strife, and slay everything in sight. The priest, Fury in disguise, laughs at the sight as she turns to her brother in admiration,

"You were right, Death. This turned out to be very entertaining indeed."

His stress levels skyrocket whenever he sees them wearing it. Especially if they walk into the Crystal Spire one day.