rule your mind or it will rule you

me: *never becomes less tired*

more people need to know they’re real because look at this, this is some real walking with dinosaurs shit

they have powerful legs allowing them to run up to 20mph and leap to impressive heights with ease

they are extremely swift and fearless, quick enough to take down a sizable rattlesnake and other large prey animals like lizards and mice

they have several unique adaptations to thermoregulate, such as the dark patch of feathers on their back which acts as a solar panel to absorb heat, or its crest that either releases or absorbs heat by exposing its skin

they have these long, stiff tailfeathers that they use as a counterbalance when running, very reminiscent of the rod-like tail of a dromaeosaur

and they are capable of bursts of flight/gliding with incredibly beautiful plumage

shams & noor: hmm… what is this

me: a fish! a prey! to bite and kill! to chomp! to-

shams and noor: to… to have and to hold? to love and cherish? a friend in time of need? a cuddle partner to brave the cold nights? a trusted comrade? and someday… if the fates are kind… something more, perhaps?

a summary:

- Two Josh Swains were in attendance. OG Josh, hailing from Arizona

- And Nebraska's own Josh Swain, from Omaha.

(feat. An Audio Engineer doing THE MOST for that sound quality)

-All the local news stations were there

- The majority of attendees were from out of state

- The two Josh Swains battled for supremacy by Rock Paper Scissors duel.

- The victor? Josh Swain, from Arizona. A crushing defeat for Josh Swain, who despite having none of Josh Swain's newfound Twitter Clout, DID have the home team advantage, as well as a Great Look.

- Following the Josh Swain Duel and coronation of the One True Josh Swain, there was an All-Josh pool noodle battle royale

- A brief list of notable Josh Variants I saw in this battle:

Josh Swain (Prime)

Josh Swain (Secondary)

Medieval Josh (full chain mail armor)

Spider Josh (x2)

"Josh Wick" (had pool noodles mounted to two electric drills for spin-attack capabilities)

Furry Josh (A Josh in a fursuit)

Big Josh (A large man with the words "Big Josh" painted on his bare torso, and "Dad Bod" painted on his back. Armed with pool noodle wolverine claws)

Little Josh (A small boy of about 5 years old)

Luchador Josh

Roman Centurion Josh

The rules were simple. Enter the ring and fight honorably (no headshots, no hits below the belt.) If you are hit with a pool noodle, you are dead, having fallen in glorious battle. The last Josh standing would be the winner.

The battle lasted a little over sixty seconds in total. The final victor was....

LITTLE JOSH, THE SMALLEST COMBATANT.

The crowd was going wild. The chanting for Little Josh was deafening. Truly there could have been no better outcome.

pool noodle combat was then opened to the general public, for fun rather than glory.

As for Josh Prime, he seemed like a very cool dude! As of last reporting, he raised $6600 dollars for the Children's Hospital and a truckload of nonperishables for the local food bank alongside the other Josh Fight attendees! He offered masks to any maskless people he met, and did his best to keep things as safe and socially distanced as he could, despite the ungodly amount of people who showed up to this random fucking field outside of Lincoln, Nebraska.

(Also for the Nebraskans: Yes he tried a Runza, and yes he says he enjoyed it.)