✖┋ASK MEMES: THE LAST FIVE YEARS.
‘ ____ is over and ____ is gone. ‘
‘ ____’s decided it’s time to move on. ’
‘ ____ has new dreams he’s/she’s building upon. ‘
‘ ____’s convinced that the problems are mine. ‘
‘ ____ is probably feeling just fine and I’m still hurting. ‘
‘ What about lies, ____? What about things that you swore to be true? ‘
‘ What about you, ____? ‘
’ ____ is sure something wonderful died. ‘
‘ ____ decided it’s his/her right to decide. ‘
‘ ____’s got secrets he/she doesn’t confide. ‘
‘ I’m still hurting. ‘
‘ Run away, run and find something better. ‘
‘ Run away like it’s simple, like it’s right. ‘
‘ Give me a day, ____. ‘
‘ Bring back the lies, hang them back on the wall. ‘
‘ Maybe then I’d see how you could be so certain we had no chance at all. ‘
‘ Where can I turn? ‘
‘ Covered with scars I did nothing to earn. ‘
‘ Maybe there’s somewhere a lesson to learn. ‘
‘ That wouldn’t change the fact. ‘
‘ I’m breaking my mother’s heart the longer I stand looking at you. ‘
‘ My grandfather’s rolling, rolling in his grave. ‘
‘ If you had a tattoo, that wouldn’t matter. ‘
‘ If you had a shaved head, that would be cool. ‘
‘ If you came from Spain or Japan or the back of a van, just as long as you’re not from ( insert religion ) school. ‘
‘ Now I’m getting somewhere! I’m finally breaking through! ‘
‘ Hey! Hey! Shiksa goddess! ‘
‘ I’ve been waiting for someone like you. ‘
‘ The minute I first met you, I could barely catch my breath. ‘
‘ I’ve been standing for days with the phone in my hand like and idiot, scared to death. ‘
‘ I’ve been beaten, I’ve been hit. ‘
‘ My people have suffered for thousands of years and I don’t give a shit. ‘
‘ Well, nobody’s perfect. ‘
‘ It’s tragic but it’s true. ‘
‘ I’ve been waiting for someone, I’ve been praying for someone. ‘
‘ I think that I could be in love with someone like you. ‘
‘ I guess I can’t believe you really came. ‘
‘ See, I’m smiling. That means I’m happy that you’re here. ‘
‘ I stole this sweater from a costume shop, it makes me look like Daisy Mae. ‘
‘ See, we’re laughing. ‘
‘ I think we’re gonna be okay. ‘
‘ I mean, we’ll have to try a little harder. ‘
‘ I think you’re really gonna like this show, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t suck. ‘
‘ See, you’re laughing and I’m smiling. ‘
‘ We’re doing fine. ‘
‘ I think we both can see what could be better. ‘
‘ I’ll own when I was wrong. ‘
‘ With all we’ve had to go through we’ll end up twice as strong. ‘
‘ We’ll start again this weekend and just keep rolling along. ‘
‘ I didn’t know you had to go so soon. ‘
‘ I thought we had a little time. ‘
‘ Look, whatever, if you have to then you have to, so whatever, it’s all right. ‘
‘ We’ll have tonight. ‘
‘ You know what makes me crazy? ‘
‘ I’m sorry, can I say this? ‘
‘ We could be together, here together, sharing our night, spending our time. And you are gonna choose someone else to be with? ‘
‘ Yes, ____, that’s exactly what you’re doing! ‘
‘ You could be here with me or be there with them. As usual, guess which you pick! ‘
‘ No, _____, you do not have to go to another party with the same twenty jerks you already know. ‘
‘ I know in your soul it must drive you crazy that you won’t get to play with your little girlfriends! ‘
‘ You can’t spend a single day that’s not about, you and you and nothing but you! ‘
‘ I swear to God I’ll never understand how you can stand there straight and tall and see I’m crying… and not do anything at all. ‘
‘ Did I just hear an alarm start ringing? Did I see sirens go flying past? ‘
‘ I don’t know what tomorrow’s bringing. ‘
‘ I’ve got a singular impression things are moving too fast. ‘
‘ I barrel on through and I don’t complain. ‘
‘ No matter what I try I’m flying full speed ahead. ‘
‘ I’m never worried to walk the wire. ‘
‘ I won’t do anything just half-assed. ‘
‘ I found a woman/man I love. ‘
‘ Some people analyze every detail. ‘
‘ Some people freeze out of fear that they’ll fail, but I keep rollin’ on. ‘
‘ Some people can’t get success with their art. ‘
‘ Some people never feel love in their heart. ‘
‘ Maybe I can’t follow through but what else am I supposed to do? ‘
‘ Now I’m the subject of a bidding war. ‘
‘ I’m doing things I never dreamed of before. ‘
‘ We start to take the next step together. ‘
‘ The Atlantic Monthly’s printing my first chapter, two thousand bucks without rewriting one word. ‘
‘ I left Columbia and I don’t regret it. ‘
‘ My heart’s been stolen. ‘
‘ My ego’s swollen. ‘
‘ Well, well, what else is in store? ‘
‘ Got all this and more before twenty-four. ‘
‘ It’s hard not to be sure. ‘
‘ I’m spinning out of control. ‘
‘ I’m feeling panicked and rushed and hurried. ‘
‘ I’m feeling outmaneuvered and outclassed. ‘
‘ I’m so happy I can’t get worried. ‘
‘ He’s off on a trip to ____-land ‘
‘ And then he’ll/she’ll smile, his/her eyes light up and deep within the ground without a sound a moment comes to life. ‘
‘ I’m a part of that. ‘
‘ Next day it’s just like it never happened. ‘
‘ How can I complain? ‘
‘ Yes, he’s/she’s insane, but look what they can do. ‘
‘ I tend to follow in his/her stride instead of side by side. ‘
‘ I said I’d stick it out and follow through. ‘
‘ Where else can I go? ‘
‘ The rules do not apply. ‘
‘ And then he/she smiles and nothing else makes sense. ‘
‘ He/she invents the world that’s passing by. ‘
‘ I’m a part of that aren’t I? ‘
‘ First, a story. A little Christmas Story.
‘ ____, you’ll get to be happy! ‘
‘ Every cut and stitch was a perfect fit. ‘
‘ Take me back! ‘
‘ But shouldn’t I want the world to see the brilliant girl/guy who inspires me? ‘
‘ Don’t you think that now’s a good time to be the ambitious freak you are? ‘
‘ Say goodbye to wiping ashtrays at the bar. ‘
‘ Say hello to ____, big-time star! ‘
‘ I give you unlimited time. ‘
‘ Stop temping and go and be happy. ‘
‘ Here’s a headshot guy and a new BackStage. ‘
‘ Take a breath, take a step, take a chance! ‘
‘ Take your time. ‘
‘ Have I mentioned today how lucky I am to be in love with you? ‘
‘ I could lease a villa in Seville. ‘
‘ It wouldn’t be as nice as a summer in ____. ‘
‘ I could wander Paris after dark. ‘
‘ Take a carriage ride through Central Park. ‘
‘ I’m sharing a room with a former stripper and her snake, Wayne. ‘
‘ Still I’m certain I’d prefer to be going slowly batty. ‘
‘ I could shove an ice pick in my eye, I could eat some fish from last July, but it wouldn’t be as awful as a summer in _____. ‘
‘ I stole a look at your picture on the inside sleeve and then I couldn’t leave. ‘
‘ ____, who was with me, got uncharacteristically quiet. ‘
‘ All things considered, I guess you don’t have to buy it. ‘
‘ I smiled like Mona Lisa, and I lay my Visa down. ‘
‘ She/he wants me, he/she wants me, but he/she ain’t gonna get me. ‘
‘ Look at me, look at him. ‘
‘ Son of a bitch, I guess I’m doing something right. ‘
‘ I finally got something right. ‘
‘ No, it’s not Nirvana, but it’s on the way. ‘
‘ I play Anita at the matinee. ‘
’ I’m never gonna go back to _____! ‘
‘ The torture is just exquisite. ‘
‘ I’m waiting for you to visit. ‘
‘ The San Remo is up a few blocks. ‘
‘ Have you been inside the Museum? ‘
‘ We should go. ‘
‘ Will you share your life with me for the next ten minutes? ‘
‘ There are so many lives I want to share with you. ‘
‘ I will never be complete until I do. ‘
‘ I’m not always on time, please don’t expect that from me. ‘
‘ I will be late, but if you can just wait, I will make it eventually. ‘
‘ Not like it’s in my control. ‘
‘ Not like I’m proud of the fact. ‘
‘ I don’t know why people run. ‘
‘ I don’t know why things fall through. ‘
‘ I don’t know how anybody survives in this life without someone like you. ‘
‘ I could say no and goodbye. ‘
‘ I want to be your wife/husband. ‘
‘ I want to bear your child ‘
‘ I want to die knowing I had a long, full life in your arms. ‘
‘ Isn’t that the Museum? ‘
‘ Can we go see the dinosaurs? ‘
‘ Everyone tells you that the minute you get married every other woman/man in the world auddenly finds you attractive. Well, that’s not true. ‘
‘ And now they’re banging down your door and falling to their knees. At least that’s what it feels like because you CAN NOT TOUCH THEM. ‘
‘ That’s not fair! ‘
‘ In a perfect world a miracle would happen and every other girl/boy would fly away. ‘
‘ It’d be me and ____ and nothing else would matter. ‘
‘ But it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine I mean, I’m happy. ‘
‘ It’s not a problem, it’s just a challenge. ‘
‘ It’s a challenge to resist temptation. ‘
‘ I’m at these parties, I’m the center of attention, I’m the grand fromage. ‘
‘ Let’s get a cup of coffee, will you look at my manuscript? ‘
‘ I’m gesticulating with my left hand. ‘
‘ And then WHOOMP! There’s ____! ‘
‘ ‘Cause she/he knows, they always know. ‘
‘ There’s that really awkward moment where I try to show I wasn’t encouraging this, though of course I sort of was. ‘
‘ I don’t want to look whipped in front of this woman, which is dumb - I shouldn’t care what she thinks since I can’t fuck her anyway! ‘
‘ In a perfect world a miracle would happen and every girl would look like Mister Ed. ‘
‘ I swear I’ll be there soon, ___. ‘
‘ I am so proud of you, baby. ‘
‘ You’re doing what you never got to do before. ‘
‘ We’re gonna make it through and nothing else will matter. ‘
‘ We’ll be fine, we’re fine. ‘
‘ I’m climbing uphill, ____. ‘
‘ I’m up every morning at six. ‘
‘ I’m waiting five hours in line. ‘
‘ When I walk in the room there’s a table of men, always men - usually gay. ‘
‘ I am a good person, I’m an attractive person, I am a talented person. Grant me grace! ‘
‘ I should have told them I was sick last week. ‘
‘ Maybe I should stop and start over. ‘
‘ Why is the director staring at his crotch? ’
‘ Don’t stare at my resume, I made up half of my resume. ‘
‘ Look at me. Stop looking at that, look at me. ‘
‘ Don’t look at my shoes, I hate these stupid shoes. ‘
‘ Why did I pick this career? ’
‘ Why does this pianist hate me? ’
‘ I’m obviously such a horrible, annoying distraction to him/her. ‘
‘ What’s he/she gonna be like when we have kids? ’
‘ Why am I working so hard? ’
‘ Jesus Christ, I suck, I suck, I suck. ‘
‘ I will not be the girl/guy stuck at home in the ‘burbs with the baby, the dog, and the garden of herbs. ‘
‘ I will not be the girl/guy in the sensible shoes pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues. ‘
‘ I will not be the girl/guy who gets asked how it feels to be trotting along at the genius’s heels. ‘
‘ I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by. ‘
IF I DIDN’T BELIEVE IN YOU.
‘ Okay, stop. ____, stop. Listen to me. ‘
‘ There are people and they are publishing my book. ‘
‘ There’s a party that they’re throwing. ‘
‘ And while you’ve made it very clear that you’re not going, I will be going and that’s done. ’
’ But what’s it really about? ‘
‘ Is it really about a party, ____? ’
‘ Can we please for a minute stop blaming and say what you feel? ‘
‘ Did you think this would all be much easier than it’s turned out to be? ‘
‘ Well, then talk to me, ____. Talk to me. ‘
‘ If I didn’t believe in you we’d never have gotten this far. ‘
‘ If I didn’t think you could do anything you ever wanted to, if I wasn’t certain that you’d come through somehow, the fact of the matter is I wouldn’t be standing here now. ‘
‘ If I didn’t believe in you we wouldn’t be having this fight. ‘
‘ I never could let that go knowing the things about you I know. ‘
‘ It never took much convincing to make me believe in you. ‘
‘ Don’t we get to be happy, ____? ’
‘ At some point down the line don’t we get to relax? ‘
‘ If I’m cheering on your side, ____, why can’t you support mine? ‘
‘ Why do I have to feel I’ve committed some felony doing what I always swore I would do? ‘
‘ I don’t want you to hurt. ‘
‘ But you know what I think? I think you’ll be fine! ’
‘ Will you listen to me? ’
‘ No one can give you courage, no one can thicken your skin. ‘
‘ I will not fail so you can be comfortable, ____. ‘
‘ I will not lose because you can’t win. ‘
‘ This is the life I choose, this is the thing I can’t bear to lose. ‘
‘ Trip us or trap us but we refuse to fall. ‘
‘ Now why don’t you put your dress on and we’ll go, okay? ’
I CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.
‘ My best friend had a little situation at the end of our senior year. ‘
‘ And like a shot, she/he and _____ got married that summer. ‘
‘ They got a little cute house on a little cute street with a crucifix on the door. ‘
‘ I thought about what I wanted, it wasn’t like that at all. ‘
‘ I can do better than that. ‘
‘ In a year or so, I moved to the city. ‘
‘ What have I got to lose? ‘
‘ Got a room, got a cat, and got twenty pounds thinner. ‘
‘ Met a guy in a class I was taking. ‘
‘ He wouldn’t leave me alone ‘less I went with him to dinner. ‘
‘ And I guess he/she was cute, and I guess he/she was sweet, and I guess he/she was good in bed. ‘
‘ So I’m starting to think that this maybe might work and the second it entered my head, he/she needed to take some time off. ‘
‘ He blew me off with a heartfelt letter. ‘
‘ You don’t have to change a thing, just stay with me. ‘
‘ I want you and you and nothing but you. ‘
‘ I don’t need any lifetime commitments. ‘
‘ I don’t want to throw up your walls and defenses. ‘
‘ I don’t mean to put on any pressure but I know what a thing is right. ‘
‘ When we get to my house, take a look at that town, take a look at how far I’ve gone. ‘
‘ I will never go back. ‘
‘ It feels like my life led right to your side. ‘
‘ Think about how I love you and ay you’ll move in with me. ‘
‘ Think of what’s great about me and you, think of the bullshit we’ve both been through, think of what’s past because we can do better! ‘
‘ Hey, kid. Good morning. ‘
‘ You look like an angel. ‘
‘ I don’t remember when we fell asleep. ‘
‘ Just relax, lay low. All right, the panic recedes. ‘
‘ Nobody needs to know. ‘
‘ All right, it’s over, it’s done. ’
‘ Then I start making, conscious, deliberate mistakes. ‘
‘ All that I ask for is one little corner, one private room, at the back of my heart. ‘
‘ What can I do? ’
‘ Come back to bed. ‘
‘ I promise won’t lie to you. ‘
‘ Hold on, don’t cry yet. ‘
‘ I need to be in love with someone. ‘
‘ Maybe I could be in love with someone like you. ‘
GOODBYE UNTIL TOMORROW/ I COULD NEVER RESCUE YOU.
‘ Don’t kiss me goodbye again. ‘
‘ Leave this night clean and quiet. ‘
‘ You want the last word, you want me to laugh, but leave it for now. ‘
‘ All you can say, all you can feel, was wrapped up inside that one perfect kiss, leave it at that. ‘
‘ Goodbye until tomorrow. ‘
‘ Goodbye until the next time you call. ‘
‘ I will be waiting! ‘
‘ I called ____ to help me pack my bags. I went downtown and closed the bank account.
It’s not about another shrink. It’s not about another compromise. ‘
‘ I’m not the only one who’s hurting here. ‘
‘ I don’t know what the hell is left to do. ‘
‘ You never saw how far the crack had opened, you never knew I had run out of rope and I could never rescue you. ‘
‘ No matter how I tried all I could do was love you hard and let you go. ‘
‘ All I could do was love you. God, I loved you so. ‘
‘ So we could fight or we could wait or we could go. ‘
‘ I didn’t see a way we both could win. ‘