Virtualmarshmallow

I just mowed my 88 year old papas lawn and when i came back inside he lifted my arm to reveal a bug that was attempting to hitchhike into the house. At which point he said "you will NEVER escape my garden." And flicked it back into the grass

Great time to start pricing this out by the way, fire season starts… on the summer solstice this year, that’s fun. Signs point to it being a doozy.

lets out a single pitiful eheu that echoes throughout the empty senate house

you should have to handcraft a ritual mask along with your thesis and wear it during your defense and if the mask comes off you don't get your PhD. and there should be long shelves in the basement of the library where all the alumni's masks are stored

I Was So Good And Polite They Are Putting Me In The Touch Tank At Aquarium Tomorrow.

Super specific but you just know Bingo Little is the type of mf that when you excuse yourself to go to the toilet at a restaurant he follows you into the bathroom and continues the conversation while you're cooped up in a stall just trying to take a shit. You know that bastard doesn't give you a moments peace. Bro is 100% that weirdo that's having a full blown loud ass echoing off the walls convo in public bathrooms. He really thinks his story is that important

wait they're kind of badass

"everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted.

This is sweet but I really thought it was going to end with someone named “Haters Horge” who spends every second in a cave halfway across the world just loathing you for no reason and they were the statistical outlier

Don't be your own Haters Horge

Throw Haters Horge in a Disastrous Gorge

Sure, boss, I’d still be ya henchman if you was a woim

weevil 1050