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Masterlist
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Azriel
Aftermath Series (Completed) Part1 Part2 Part3 Part 4 Part5 Court of Calm Chaos (Ongoing)
Rhysand
Promises Made (Angst) (Oneshot)
Cassian
Coming soon
Eris
The Snowflake and The Fire (Ongoing) Part1 Part2

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The Snowflake and The Fire
Summary: They met Under the Mountain. Carved a thin slice of happiness from the misery. After things fell out between them, Eris finally opens up
Warnings: Lil angst, abuse, soft Eris?, female reader , Non-canon
Author's Note: Hi guys, part two of Eris x reader. It is kinda short compared to the other.
I really enjoy reading the comments please leave one
ENJOY!
P.S Iâm working on my Azriel series as well, I just had to get this outta my head to focus on that one
He walked down the dimly lit hall toward the west wing, where most of the Autumn people were kept. It was later than usual, but the images wouldnât stop clawing at him. Eris shook his head sharply. Not here. Not in front of him
âAnd when is this happening?â Beronâs voice came from the half-open study door
âTomorrow, my Lordâ One of his fatherâs trusted answered
Eris put the mask of the cruel prince and stepped inside âFatherâ
âWhere have you been, boy?â Beron snarled
Eris offered a wicked practiced smile âMatters required my attentionâ
Beron tsked âThe event for tomorrow is already in motion I trust?â
Eris sat beside his father, eyes flicking over the two empty bottles on the table. He kept his tone light almost bored âOf courseâ
Beron drained his glass in one swallow âWinter had it coming. What happens to those rebellious little children is their own faultâ
Erisâs heart slammed to a brutal stop. Horror ripped across his face before he could cage it. The mask cracked completely. For one agonising second the world went silent except for the roaring of his blood. Innocent lives. He had known too late
He heard Beronâs voice continue Erisâs hands curled into fists beneath the table as he slammed the mask back into placeâthe wicked male everyone expected him to be.
âThat is very true, Fatherâ He replied, voice steady and empty
That memory had become a constant reminder of his shame, his guilt. Of her pain. Like a blade between his ribs.
Eris stopped outside the door to the Winter Princessâs chambers. She had arrived last night, offered only the barest, coldest greetings, and disappeared behind these walls. She hadnât come for breakfast, claiming to be nauseous from travel.
He lifted a hand, hovering just above the door, aching to reach her. But he let it fall. The decision he had made the moment Kalliasâs letter arrived still held
He turned on his heel and walked toward the great hall to inspect the coronation preparations.
°ââàŠ.àż
Ember was tired yesterday night, but since she woke morning, she kept finding little pieces here and there. Pieces of Winter. Â A decorative bowl, with pinecones on the dressing table. Crystal snowflake, a mini structure of the winter deer on the bookshelf. A liquor decanter with staghorn. There were more hidden gems like that
But her eyes went at the vase placed on the bed side side, dark grey marble, with flowers that should be only in be in Winter. Emberâs eyes sparkled looking at the white teardrop shaped petals
Winterâs Snowdrop, the promise of hope, a promise of better tomorrow.
Her treacherous heart melted. Then, clenched with familiar anger
How? Why? Why did these small gestures still pierce her so deeply when he had hidden something so devastating?
A knock from the door broke her spiraling questions
She opened it and peaked outside
A messenger stood there, he bowed his head in greeting âThe Lady of the house wishes to meet youâ He said  âI am to escort you thereâ He gave a warm smile
There was no room for refusal. Ember forced a polite smile and followed.
The secluded garden at the back of the palace was quiet, shielded by tall hedges and ancient trees. Lady of Autumn waited with a warm, familiar smile that tugged painfully at old memories
Ember bowed âIt is good to see youâ
âPlease, sitâ
Pouring the tea with her own hands Autumnâs Lady added âI noticed you werenât there at breakfastâ
The placed a plate of berry tarts and delicate sandwiches before herâEmberâs favorites, the kind she could never resist.
Emberâs throat tightened. Only one person in this entire court had ever known her preferences so precisely.
She noticed her reaction and gave a gentle knowing look âThere is very little I do not notice about who my eldest cares forâ
Ember grabbed one of the tarts
âYou also go for the sweet things firstâ The Lady of Autumn said in delight
Ember cleared her throat âYou wished to meet me?â
âI merely wanted to see youâ Her gaze flicked to the thick form of trees
âI wanted to ask you if you wish to look at gowns, for the coronationâ Lady Autumn said calmly Â
Ember studied her, her careful wordings, the hidden meanings. And have a small genuine smile
That evening, the great hall glittered with the finest autumnal decorations for the pre-coronation supper.Â
Ember arrived deliberately late, hoping to slip into her seat unnoticed. She was glad to see familiar faces among the guests â Keela from the Dawn Court and Varian of Summer. She spoke with them quietly, grateful for the distraction, laughing softly at Keelaâs dry humor
Ember tried her best not to look at the head of the table where Eris sat beside his father. But she felt his gaze on her.Â
Her stomach twistedâanger, longing, betrayal, and something softer she refused to name. She wanted to hate him. She should hate him. Yet the Winter Snowdrops in her room and the careful touches throughout her chambers made her chest ache with conflicting emotions.
Beronâs sharp voice cut through the murmurs like a blade âWinterâs emissaryâ Embers head turned towards him
âTell me girlâ Beron drawled âDoes your Court still mourn at the loss for the little ones?â There was a slight tilt on this lips
Emberâs fingers tightened around her fork until her knuckles whitened. She forced her voice steady âWinter remembers its losses. We also remember our strengthâ Her gaze flicked to Eris, his mask cracking for just a second, raw fury shown in themÂ
Beron laughed, low and mocking. âStrengthâ-âHow charming.â His gaze slid to Eris, then back to her âThe snow always melts in the presence of fireâÂ
The threat was thinly veiled. Ember inclined her head, refusing to flinch, and with icy coldness added âThen it is fortunate that we have learned to endure the hottest flamesâÂ
°ââàŠ.àż
âIs it selfish to think that Iâm happy?â Ember questioned âGiven the circumstancesâ She looked at Eris lying beside her, his eyes were distant
She placed a hand on his chest. Eris snapped and fully turned towards her âI thinkâ His voice was raw âThat this slice we cut for ourselves is worth itâ
A warm smile painted his face, but his eyes were sad.
He cupped her face âYou are worth itâ
Ember returned to her chambers after supper, emotions frayed raw. She was reaching for her nightgown
She thought about the fury on Erisâs eyes. She didnât want to care, couldnât, not after what he did.
Changing into a night gown, a knock sound pulled Ember to the door, but nobody was there
The knock came again, this time toward her left, she noticed the bookshelf. The bare wall beside it.
âTake the black and gold book outâ A Â muffled voice came, familiar, but she couldnât place it
Emberâs gaze immediately went to the bookshelf. But before anything she grabbed her dagger underneath her pillow
She took the book out, a creaking sound followed, the wall opened, like a door.
A figure emerged, she didnât think once as she came up from behind and placed the dagger on the tall maleâs throat
Long dark copper hair came in view, as the male turned his head and his mechanical eye moved  âI would appreciate if you could let me goâ Lucien said
Ember âLucien!â â What are you doing here?â Her voice was a whisper
Lucien huffed âYou donât have to whisperâ â âThis room is one of the safest placesâ â âWith wards even Beron will find hard to breakâ
Ember's brows lifted, her gaze darted to the secret passage
âDonât worry I was just here to drop someoneâ Emberâs brows furrowed âThe Night Courtâs emissaryâ
Lucien let a sigh out âAnd because I owe a favorâ â âTo Erisâ
âNoâ Ember snapped âI do not want to talk about himâ Old anger rising
âListenâ Lucien continued as if Ember did not speak âMy brother is many thingsâ He paused  âBut a cheat and liar is not one of themâ â âNot to the ones he cares aboutâ
His tone shifted âAnd I speak with experienceâ
âIf he needs to tell me anythingâ She snarled âTell him to face meâ â âTell him that he needs to face the reactions he causedâ
âI do wish tooâ Came a very familiar voice from the passage of the door âIf you allow itâ
Eris gave a nod to Lucien as he entered and the other left
Emberâs body went cold and hot all at once seeing Eris come. The bruises that lined his face the split lip
Amber eyes met hers and suddenly she realized it was just them
âWhat do you want?â Ember growled, dagger still gripped tightly.
âMany thingsâ Eris rasped, voice rough with exhaustion and longing  âBut right now I want to know why you never came to meâeven after every letters I sentâ
âYou think I would even read them?â she bit out, anger and pain lacing every word âAfter everything?â
Erisâs expression crumpled with sorrow âDo you think I would ever risk you?â
Ember didnât know how to respond to that, but deep down she knew. By the cauldron this male would have done anything for her, did anything.
âYou know meâ A statement âYou shouldnât have hidden behind lettersâ
Eris thrust his hand through his hair âYou know why this happened?â He gestured to his face
Ember went still, she didnât want to acknowledge the sadness and wrath that came with looking at his bruise
âIt was because Beron got to know my mother asked to meet youâ His voice rising with barely controlled fury âIt is because he wished to know what you spoke aboutâ
He let out a dry laugh âAnd when I told himâ- âHe didnât think the answer was true and thisâ He gestured to his bruises again
Eris stepped closer  âThatâs who Iâve spent my whole life protecting anyone I care about from. The monster who rules this courtâ â âProtecting you fromâ
As soon as those words left from his mouth the dam broke, Eris couldnât stop  âI swearâ his voice raw, and eyes that didnât leave hers âTo whatever shattered pieces of my soul remainâI didnât know anything until it was too lateâ
Ember saw, heard the truth in his voice, the wall she built around her heart brick by brick cracked a little
âIt happened that night. That night we lay together speaking about our happiness Under the Mountain, about a future we both knew we might never haveâ Erisâs voice was rough âI went back to my fatherâs study and only overheard fragmentsâ - Â âI played along because I had toâ He paused âAnd when Beron finally said that Winter was the targetâ
His voice cracked âTrust me, little fire, I didnât know. Not in time to stop it. Not in time to warn you without pinning a target on your back for Amarantha to destroyâ
Eris slowly sank to his knees before her, head bowed at first, then lifting so their eyes could meet
His hands trembled as he reached out but stopped short of touching her âIf they had known I was with youâif they had even suspectedâI refused to risk youâ - Â âI would rather carry your hatred for the rest of my days than see you broken because of me.â
A broken whimper left Ember, as the tears began rolling down, she couldnât stop them.
She remembered that night as if it was yesterday, where they spoke about everything and nothing. The distant look  in his eyes, when they started speaking about a future. Hopelessly. That particular night where he held her tighter than usual
She sank to her knees too, fingers trembling as they finally brushed his bruised cheek. Erisâs entire body shuddered at the gentle contact, a broken sound escaping him.
âYou didnât knowâ Ember whispered in a trembling voice
Eris slightly shook his head, eyes lined with silver
âYou didnât betray meâ
âNever youâ Eris rasped, words that came from the depths of this soul âNeverâ
The wall around her heart came crashing down
With a chocked sob , Ember leaned forward and threw her arms around him
Eris caught her instantly, crushing her against his chest. His anchor, his whole world. His hands trembled as one splayed on her back. Another one slid up to cradle the nape of her neck, fingers threading desperately through her pale blonde hair. He buried his face in the curve of her shoulder, breathing her in deeply. Home. After a very, very long time, he was finally home.
âËïœĄâââïœĄËâ âêłâ *â§ âËïœĄâââïœĄËâ âêłâ *â§ âËïœĄâââïœĄËâ âêłâ *â§ âËïœĄâââïœĄËâ âêłâ *â§ âËïœĄâââïœĄ
Note: I know this was more direct, but I really wanted to clear the air between the characters for the other part
I hope you guys liked it
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Court of Calm Chaos - Chapter 7
Summary: Lilith's past resurfaces at the worst time. The High Lords meeting. And so does the tension between her and Azriel (idk how to summarise properly)
Warnings: Mature content, 18+, Vomit, Mentions of dying
Author's Note: Hi guys! It's been long I know. But I finally Chapter 7 is here. I hope you guys enjoy. Comments are open to all.
P.S. The story down the line will be split in Lilith's POV and even Azriel's POV (not much but yeah)
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6
She felt bile rise up yet again as she jolted up and threw up. Lilith wiped the sweat of her face as her gaze landed on the healer
Neema stood there, expression as unreadable, as if she had seen this type of reaction thousands of times. She took various bottles of portions lined up on the side table and started to mix them once again
âI donât think I will be able to drink that againâ Lilith said in a weak voice
The healer gave her a sharp look, but her words were soft as she said âIt must be difficultâ â âBut you set yourself a goalâ
Lilith took a long breath, her goal, her goal to see her sister again. To find where she was, if she was happy. To make sure Elain either didnât marry that idiot fool, and if she did, to scare the living hell out of him to behave himself. And Nesta âShe glanced at the tonics âYou told me this workedâ The statement came out as a question
Lilithâs body trembled as she got up and stood in front of a mirror. She had requested it to be placed there. To remind herself that this was for Feyre, for the promise made to her mother. And the sparkle of hope she saw in her fatherâs eye when Neema first came.
She took off the locket her father had given to her, opening it she read the small note for the hundredth time
"You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, Lilypad"
She looked at her reflection, the bruises under her eyes, the bones peeking out from the length of her body, the greyish pale under her skin.
Yes, it had lessened from the first time, but it still wasnât good enough, not for her
Neema placed a hand of her shoulder âThere is more to just healing your bodyâ â âYour heart must be tooâ Lilith had heard these words many times
But what followed was something new âBut your soul also must want to liveâ
Lilith blinked in surprise, and out of nowhere a sudden laugh burst from her, there was nothing joyful in that laugh. It was pain, a laugh that was born out of pure sorrow, sacrifice and pain. She thought of the words again her mind reacted with loader chuckles
Neemaâs expression was something mixed between horrified and sorrow âSorryâ Lilith said in midst of chuckles âItâs justâ She willed herself to stop
âIf you knew my lifeâ She sighed, a sorrowful smile dawning on her face, Lilith shook her head
Changing the subject, she said âNextâ
That particular memory played again and again, Your soul must want to live. Did she understand those words? Did her soul truly want to live? Was all that had happened not enough? The fact that she couldnât figure out anything from the powers to the bond, not a sign of something?
She didnât know how and when she reached the Town House, somehow the long walk got completed. And she reached the right place
She stood there for a while, strengthening not only her mental shields but also sealing up the space where the golden light came from. Her excuse was not to distract or get distracted when the war broke out, and somehow, the High Lord didnât notice her ulterior motive when she asked how not to send emotions down the bond.
But somehow she knew, she knew that her priority wouldnât be the war, it would be this.
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
He couldnât sleep. The nightmares were nothing newâshadows of the things he had done as the Night Courtâs spymaster, the blood on his hands that no amount of time could wash clean. They came and went like unwelcome ghosts.
But tonight⊠tonight was different. Heart thumping, Azriel dragged a hand through his damp hair, his body still slick with cold sweat; the cell from his past had returned after yearsâstone walls, iron chains, the suffocating dark. Only this time, it hadnât been him trapped inside. It had been her
His shadows stirred, curling along his shoulders, whispering against his ear âTownhouse⊠safeâ A pause âBut something is wrongâ His jaw tightened
That much, he already knew. Lilith had been fine yesterday morningâmore than fine. Laughing, teasing him, that quiet warmth in her eyes that he had begun to crave more than he should. When he and Cassian left for the camp, she had stayed behind at the townhouse without a second thought. Nothing had seemed off.
Except now, the ice-cold, nothingness down the bond was terrifying. There had never been a momentânot one, when he couldnât feel her. Her emotions had always reached him, let it be anger, happiness or even when she left lonely.
His instincts roared, clawing at his control. Something is wrong.
The cold wind drifting in from the balcony did little to steady him. Azriel stepped outside anyway, gripping the railing. His thoughts spiralled. The war, the nightmare. The way she had looked at him. The way she had felt in his arms, and now this emptiness. His grip tightened.
Did she regret it? The question came sharp as a blade Did I push too far? His wings shifted restlessly behind him. Or worse, did something happen to her?
Azriel stilled, shadows rising, coiling, restless. There was only one way to silence the storm. He stepped back from the railing, and flew into the sky.
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
Lilith stared at her reflection from where she sat on the dresser.
The dark circles beneath her eyes had deepened. Her skin had taken on a faint paleness, almost ghostlike in the morning light. She exhaled slowly, her fingers curling against the wood.
She couldnât face anyone like this. But, then again, it wasnât a secret that she didnât get much sleep. Maybe, she will chalk it up to that
Her gaze drifted to the bed. The dress lay there, carefully chosen, its fabric catching the soft spill of sunlight through the window. A small, unfamiliar smile tugged at her lips. She hadnât always liked things like this, anything that felt⊠feminine.
But now they made her feel something she didnât quite have a name for. Something good.
The sunlight shifted, cascading fully across the dress, and Lilith stilled. The shimmerâher breath caught. It looked like his siphons. That same quiet glow of blue.
His image rose in her mind; his rare smile, the way his shadows curled and danced, the way his eyes softened, warming into that honeyed gold whenever they found her.
Her chest tightened âYour soul must want to liveâ Neemaâs voice echoed through her thoughts, steady and unyielding.
And then, a softer and deeper voice âCome backâ âCome back to meâ âIâll waitâ. Words that had once haunted her, were now like an anchor
Lilith closed her eyes Yes she thought, certain. Her soul did want to live. Not just for him. But for thisâthis, uncertain, new life unfolding before her. She wasnât just surviving anymore, even with the given situations.
She would endure them, face them, and this time she would live.
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
They entered the townhouse clad in their finest leathers, every siphon gleaming.
Azrielâs shadows scattered instantly, slipping into every corner, every hallway, searching. He gave a brief nod to Mor and Amren in the sitting room.
âWellâ Cassian drawled, stretching his arms âGlad weâre not the last onesâ â âThis oneâ he jerked a thumb toward Azriel âWas ready before I even woke upâ Azriel ignored him.
Every part of him was somewhere else, waiting. And then his shadows stilled, shifting, curling inwards.
And then she walked in, wrapped in his shadows as if they belonged to her. Azriel drew in his first real breath in what felt like hours. His gaze locked onto herâand widened, she was wearing blue, his blue.
The next breath never came âOursâ âBeautifulâ âPrettyâ âOursâ His shadows whispered over one another, restless
A hint of a smile curved Lilithâs lips as she caught him ogling at her. She tilted her head ever so slightly, then flicked her eyes to the side in silent warning, as if to say something.
It took a long moment for the rest of the room to come into focus. For the High Lady standing beside her to register. Feyre, radiant as starlight against the dark. Azriel dipped his head at once in acknowledgement
A muffled laugh slipped from Feyre as she nudged Lilith lightly. She knew, exactly why the shadowsingerâs mind was so distracted.
There was laughter as Cassian tried awkwardly to compliment Feyre, Mor immediately cutting in with a jab.
A smile tugged at Lilithâs lips when her eyes met Azrielâs again. She bit her lip, the memory of his taste flickering through her. But he didnât move, nor did she.
A shadow softly brushed along her cheek. Lilith closed her eyes, understanding the things he couldnât say.
The door opened, and Nesta stepped in, wearing a gown of darkest blue. Lilithâs gaze shifted to Cassian. The storm of emotion in his eyes made something in her chest ache.
Nesta passed them all, stopping before Feyre, for a heartbeat, her gaze flicked to Lilith âYou both look beautifulâ Lilithâs eyes widened slightly, one glance at Feyre told her she was also surprised
âIâm going to keep my wordâ Nesta said quietly âI canât stay hereâ Her eyes settled fully on Lilith now âNot after what you didâ A pause âFor Elain⊠and, even at the battleâ Lilithâs throat tightened.
âI know you will fight for the humansâ Nesta continued âBut I wonât let you do it aloneâ And then whispered âIt would make me a cowardâ
Lilith parted her lips, but no words came. Instead, her mind played a memory of Nesta laughing, spinning to music Lilith had played long ago. A different time.
âThe position of emissary to the Human Lands is openâ Rhysandâs smooth voice cut through âCare for the job?â
âIâll make you pay to the teeth for my servicesâ Nesta shot back.
âIâd expect nothing less from an Archeron sisterâ Lilith arched a brow at him. Rhysand only gave a lazy, knowing shrug.
âTwenty gold marks says a fight breaks out in forty minutesâ Cassian announced.
âForty, and I say thirtyâ Mor countered
âFiftyâ Azrielâs voice cut through deep yet calm âTwenty minutesâ Lilith turned to him, both brows lifting as she mouthed Twenty? Azriel replied with a faint tilt of his lips
âOne hundredâ Rhys said, cutting in âFifteen minutesâ Every eye snapped to him. He pointed straight at Lilith âDouble if itâs this oneâ
The shadows around Lilith swirled either in agreement or protest; she couldnât tell.
She gaped âExcuse me? I am perfectly in control of my emotionsâ
Mor snorted âNot when it comes to Feyreâ And teasingly added âOr a certain shadowsingerâ Azriel choked on his breath
Lilith snapped her mouth shut.
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
To call the Dawn Court beautiful would have been an understatement. The sky stretched above them in sweeping strokes of blue, violet, and soft pink, like a living painting. It reminded her of sunrise over Velaris.
She lingered a step behind as Feyre and Rhysand were greeted, as names were exchanged and old friends met again.
âAnd they are?â Thesan asked at last, his gaze settling on Nesta and Lilith
They stepped forward âThese are my sistersâ Feyre said âNesta and Lilithâ. Thesan politely greeted before turning to Lilith. She offered her hand.âItâs nice to meet youâ â âThank you for having usâ
Something shifted, it was subtle. Anyone else might have missed it. But Lilith didnât. Thesanâs expression stilled, not in shock or surprise, but something close to searching. Her smile faltered.
âIt⊠itâs a pleasure to have youâ Thesan said too quickly, releasing her hand âPlease, have a seatâ â âIâll⊠see that everything is preparedâ He turned away before anyone could respond
Lilithâs brows knit as she watched him go. Slowly, she glanced toward her High Lord and Lady, silently questioning and confused.
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
Anger built up and up, but she didnât lose control. Not when she saw Baron, heard his hollow logic. Not when Thesan and Helion watched her as if she were an object to study.
She felt it all, and showed nothing. They will say anything to provoke you What Feyre said before echoed in her mind. Then Rhysandâs Imagine itâs the Court of Nightmares He had said Just with less skin and more power. And Amrenâs warning Donât get rattled by words and call the shadows to you. In other wordsâdonât let them see what she was to the Night Courtâs Spymaster.
Her gaze flicked to the thin band of shadow circling her wrist. That one never left, no matter how many times she told it to.
When Tamlin began spinning his tale of how Feyre had been under influence, how he had only been trying to protect her, Lilith wanted to laugh in his face. She found it assuming how a man who lived hundreds of years could still have his head up his ass
But irritation sharpened into something darker as he twisted Rhysandâs sacrifice. Every time he opened his mouth, it was like he was testing her limitations.
To be the mate of a spymaster to the court with many faces, put a target on her back. He couldnât defend her here. Not when they were in a pit of vipers, ready to strike at any time. It was safe to say Azriel was on high alert, more than usual.
His shadows slipped through the room, whispering to him things he would not feel and something like pride stirred in him as Lilith observed her not loose control. Even when she had every reason not to.
Lilith knew what the sorry example of the High Lord was nothing but a joke, and what words came out of his mouth was nothing but bullshit. She shouldnât give it much thought. But it became personal when he started speaking about Feyreâs character, and about Nestaâs.
She felt the familiar tingling sensation in her fingers
Azriel was having problems with his restraint unravelling as Tamlinâs story carried on, dragging Rhysandâs name, twisting truths into something distorted. And thenâhe felt it, power rising edged with fury. He silently sent his shadows in every corner of the room.
He felt Truth-Teller shifting, sliding a fraction from its sheath. His gaze snapped to Lilith, to the faint, unmistakable glow beginning in her eyes, in her hands. He tried to send something, anything down the bond, praying to the Mother that it would reach her.
Lilith wanted to tear Tamlin into pieces when a pang of fear and understanding hit her. She didnât need to move to know it was Azrielâs emotions that somehow broke through her shields, reaching her. Surprisingly, it calmed her; she knew it wasnât fear of her but for her.
Tamlinâs gaze flicked toward Cassian, then to the tendrils of shadow curling near Lilith. A mocking smirk spread across his face âFunnyâ He drawled âI see thatâs not the only thing that runs in that familyâ
What came next, Lilith couldnât control. A sharp laugh tore out of her
Tamlinâs lip curled âWhat is so amusing?â
Lilith gave a cold smile âYouâ She said âThe entire Prythian stands on the brink of war, and you still canât stop telling the tragic tale of the poor High Lord of Springâ
âThat is notââ His mouth kept moving, but no sound followed
Lilithâs gaze slid to Rhysand. The High Lord only offered a slow, wicked smile.
The amount of selfishness between the courts and the utter lack of empathy for the innocent lives, let it be in lesser fae or humans, shifted something within Lilith. It just anger, it was deeper, ancient. It felt like a lock breaking open in her chest and what burst out was infinite.
She felt dizzy as she stood, the movement enough to draw attention from all. When she spoke, her voice was steady, quiet, but laced with power that did not belong to any court âSome of you have seen this war beforeâ She said âYou have watched it burn through lands and livesâ Her gaze was cold as it slid across the room
âMy sister and Iâ She glanced at Nesta âWe were inside the Cauldronâ A pause âWe know what it isâ â âWhat it wantsâ
Nesta rose beside her âWe want one thingâ She said sharp as a blade âTo protect those who cannot protect themselves, fae or human, it makes no differenceâ
Her eyes hardened as they met each High Lord in turn âSo tell meâ â âWhat kind of rulers are youâ She added with distaste âIf you wonât even protect your own lands?â
A heartbeat of silence, then Feyre stood âThese powers may once have belonged to youâ Her voice calm and unyielding âBut they are mine nowâ She continued âAnd I will use themâ - âTo protect what is mineâ
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
Her body still hummed with energy. Lilith had outburst before, but this was different she felt like she was on fire.
They came in the suite. Although Lilith wanted to be alone for awhile calm her powers down, Mor practically dragged her
âWell, Iâm surprised you didnât lose itâ Rhysand said as the door clicked behind them.
âShe didâ Azriel teased. Shadows circled her once again, and their coolness was welcoming
Lilith playfully smacked his chest as they sat on a long settee. Rhysand and Feyre occupied the one that was on the opposite side. And Cassian, taking up the armchair
 âI controlled itâ â âI wish I hadnâtâ She looked at Feyre âYou should have done more damageâ
Feyre huffed a quiet laugh âBelieve me, I wanted tooâ
A knock came from the door. Rhysand was already on his feet
 âDonât open itâ â âEven with the shields, donâtâ Mor called out. Lilith sent a confused look at her
Rhysand opened the door to find Helion standing there, grinning.
The High Lord of Day, to Lilithâs surprise, was not so bad. From the minute he walked in, the âBastard actâ as he called it, dropped. He gave Lilith the same gracious bow as he did to Feyre.
His gaze was still on her âYouâ Lilith stiffened, as shadows moved, taking a defensive position.
âForgive meâ Helion stated âItâs just that I can sense your magicâ â âBut I canât seem to pinpoint what it truly isâ Spell-Cleaver they called him. Of all the High Lords, he should at least have had a guess.
Lilith snorted âJoin the clubâ
He plopped himself beside Mor, âItâs been centuriesâ He said with a dramatic sigh âAnd you three havenât accepted my offerâ
âI donât like to shareâ Mor exclaimed. Lilith blinked in confusion
âHelion likes both males and females in bed and has been gunning for those three to join him for centuriesâ Rhysandâs voice filled his mind.
The power thatâs been buzzing within her, did not help at that statement. Something sharp flared in her chest before she could stop it, something close to jealousy. Her head turned slowly toward Azriel. Why did that bother her? It was the past. Things were different now.
Azriel, smoothly draped an arm over her shoulders, a calculated move. He tucked Lilith towards her, pulling her close. A barely visible smile painted his face at the reaction of his mate learning about what the offer was.
He met her gaze, an eyebrow lifted up in question. His eyes were searching her now flushed face.
The question on that smug face sent the jealousy flying away, replaced with completely different sensation. And when Azriel barely caught his lower lip between his teeth. Her mind played the flashes of the night where his hands were on her.
âGet a roomâ Mor shouted across to their High Lord and Lady.
Lilith snapped into reality. Â She turned her gaze towards Mor, who was already looking at her You too she mouthed.
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
She came back to an empty living room, her sisters already off to bed. It was not surprising, it was just, well, it was what it was
She walked towards the kitchen, praying to any God that atleast a glass of water would settle in her stomach.
She saw a light in her peripheral vision, she didnât have to turn to know who it was
âI told you not to be awake Hannaâ
There was no reply, but she heard the clatter of plates and pans, like always; Hanna made sure she had a plate of food every time she came back
Hanna placed the food on the table âAnd I told you itâs my duty not just as your handmaiden but also your friend to make sure you donât go hungry to bedâ
Lilithâs lip tilted up at the word friend, but it was gone in a heartbeat to see the food laid out. She gulped as she felt the all to familiar sensation again
Hanna gave her a familiar look, which told Lilith that if she didnât eat, the whole lecture about pregnant women throwing up so many time that they practically lived in the toilets would come up again.
The difference they had life inside them, and hers was fading away Â
âDonâtâ Hanna said âDo not think you are going anywhereâ It was assuming; this had happened a lot of times that Hanna was able to read her expressions
Lilith gave a knowing look as she spoonful of rice.
She finally reached her room after supper. Her mind was playing tricks on her, there was no bile in her throat. No sensation of throwing up or weakness. But she was barely able to eat anything, the memory coming in flashes. And with the power still buzzed within her, the feeling was not good, she left like she was going to combust.
Azriel was standing outside for a good minute, thinking whether to go in or not. Should I go in? He thought Will I be able to control? The dress she wore on top of the jealousy, that was written all over her face. It didnât help at all.
His shadows kept whispering that they would be alert to stop him. They knew that it wasnât-
âPlanning to burn a hole through the doorâ Cassian voice cut through thoughts âWhy you thinking so hard about this?â Â He asked approaching beside him
Azriel didnât answer; he just flicked his eyes towards the hall. And then back at Cassian
Cassian understood the warning â and didnât care.
She didnât have a chance to sit before a knock came from the door. She opened it, to find the two Illyrians standing there
Cassian grinned and entered like he owned the place. And then the other followed cloaked in shadows
Lilith arched a brow âDo I want to know?â
Cassian dropped onto the bed with a sigh âProbably notâ
Azrielâs gaze lingered on her for a second too long âRhys has my room shieldedâ Lilith said before either of them could speak
âI have wingsâ Cassian muttered, glancing around âAnd somehow you still get the bigger bedâ
âCassâ Lilith warned. He held up his hands in defeat
The humour quickly drained, as he said âNestaâ Â His voice was serious now âShe said something felt offâ He paused âWrongâ He met Lilithâs eyes âDo you feel anything like that?â
Lilith blinked, caught off guard âNoâ She said automatically
She hesitated before adding âIâm more connected..to my powersâ She furrowed her brows âRight now itâs closer to the surface than usualâ She searched for the right words âLike itâs trying to get outâ
She sighed âIt doesnât feel goodâ Azriel straightened from where he was leaning on the wall
Lilith noticed that, and quickly added âBut Iâm fineâ She didnât sound convincing
Cassian pushed off the bed. âRightâ He a glance to Azriel and then back to her âIâll let Rhys know. He headed for the door without waiting for a response.
Azriel didnât follow.
As soon as Cassian left, the room somehow felt smaller.
Lilithâs eyes flicked to the shadowsingerâhis gaze already on her
âAndâ She drawled âWhat did you want?â
Azrielâs lips tilted up as he crossed the space between them. He had been holding back from the moment he saw her in that dress. Not anymore.
His hand came to her cheek, sliding to the nape of her neck as he pulled her in and kissed her.
The kiss was raw. Hungry. Her imagination had done it no justice. Lilithâs arms circled his neck as she tilted her head, giving him more. When her teeth caught his lower lip, a low growl rumbled from him, deepening the kiss.
But he didnât go further. Couldnât. Wouldnâtânot here.
A soft whimper escaped her as they parted.
âTrust me, Angelâ He murmured, his voice rough, sending a shiver down her spine âIâve thought about itâ
She couldnât stop herself âWhat have you thought about?â Her voice was breathless
The hardness that pressed on her lower stomach was evident in the things he thought about âIt doesnât involve my family being aroundâ He said quietly âOr yoursâ
Lilith didnât move away, tilting her chin up instead.
âOr being in a pit of vipersâ
That stopped her. The words hit like an ice wind. Lilith grunted as she pulled back, putting space between them before she lost control again.
Her gaze narrowed âSo you came here just to torture me?â
Azriel didnât move. A low chuckle left him âBelieve meâ He said âItâs nothing compared to the torture youâve put me throughâ
Her brow arched in question
âThe jealousyâ He stated, his gaze dragging slowly over her âAnd that damned dressâ He tapped the siphon at his wristâthe exact same shade of blue
Lilith cleared her throat âAnything else?â She could have stepped closer. Could have pushed. She didnât. Because he was right.
Azriel stepped closer anyway, his control hanging by a thread. A shadow slipped forward, placing the dagger into his hand, the one he had made for her.
âHereâ A wicked glint flashed in his eyes. âTomorrow, we are not so friendlyâ
Lilith took it, mesmerised âAzâŠâ She breathed, awe softening her voice âItâs beautifulâ
She bit her lipâand his gaze dropped instantly
His control slipped another inch âYouâre playing a dangerous game, Angelâ
Gods, she should have stopped. But the look in his eyes, the warning in his tone, only made her want to push further.
âFor someone whoâs feared across Prythianâ Lilithâs brow lifted in challenge âYou sure hesitate a lotâ
Azrielâs eyes darkened at the challenge. In an instant he pressed Lilith to the wall, caging her in with his body âYou are in troubleâ He growled, voice rough.
The glint in Lilithâs eyes made all his control vanish. His mouth slammed down on hers in a devouring kiss. Lilith moaned into it, arms wrapping around his neck. This was what she wanted, the only thing that quieted the chaos outside when he held her like this. She bit his lip, and this time, Azriel didnât hold back. Her power buzzed at her fingertips, threads of silver-blue sparking wildly; she was hot, desperate. Instinct took over as she wrapped one leg around his waist and rolled her hips. Another moan escaped her at the feel of his hard length pressing against her.
One hand slid down to grip her hip. The other tangled in her hair, tilting her head so he could kiss her deeper. When she rocked against him, desperate and needy, Azriel shifted without thinking, sliding one thick, muscled thigh firmly between her legs.
Shifting the fabric of her dress, she ground down on his thigh. The angle was perfect, the hard muscle pressing right where she ached most. The friction sent jolts of pleasure shooting through her. Her hand went straight to his cock, rubbing the thick length through his leathers.
She stroked him from base to tip, thumb brushing over the swollen head where he was already leaking.
 A low groan tore from his throat âFuckâ He hissed against her mouth, hips jerking into her touch. The bond roared in his chest, demanding he claim her, mark her, bury himself inside what was his. His shadows tugged sharply at his shoulders in warning, trying to pull him back
Her grip tightened âLilyâ He moaned her name like a prayer âFuck âjust like thatâ
Shadows brushed lightly along Lilithâs inner thigh and neck with affection. They loved her too much to fully stop this. The dual sensation of cool shadows on her heated skin sent her riding harder, faster âAz, gods â this feels so goodâ Her other hand clutched his shoulder, nails digging in.
Azrielâs breath came fast and ragged. He gripped her ass with one hand, helping guide her frantic movements on his thigh, while the other braced against the wall. He dropped his mouth to her neck, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin just below her ear, leaving marks that clothing would hide tomorrow
âYouâre so fucking wetâ He growled against her throat, voice dark and filthy âI can feel you through my leathersâ Lilithâs breath panted, her movements growing wilder âI know youâre closeâ His voice dropped even lower âCome for me, Angelâ
Compelled by his words, Lilith pressed her head to his chest, muffling a sharp cry as her orgasm crashed over her in waves. Threads of silver-blue power flew around them, mingling with the shadows.
The feeling of her falling apart on his thigh, the way she clenched and shuddered against him, pushed Azriel over the edge right after her. He groaned deep and guttural, hips jerking as he spilled hot and hard into his leathers, pulsing under the steady stroke of her hand.
They stayed pressed together for a long moment, panting, bodies still buzzing with aftershocks. Azriel wrapped an arm around Lilithâs waist, holding her firmly on his thigh as she rode out the final tremors.
âYou are cruel, Angelâ He whispered roughly, brushing his knuckles along the side of her face âYou make me lose every last ounce of controlâ
Lilith let out a breathless laugh, cheeks flushed, legs still shaky as she leaned into him âGood. Because you make me lose every bit of mineâ
He tilted her chin up and kissed her again - softer this time, then deeper, the heat between them still simmering beneath the surface.
There was a heartbeat of silence âTomorrowâs meeting is going to be hellâ He murmured against her lips, the weight of Dawn Court and the gathering High Lords pressing in on him. âBut I donât regret anything.â
Lilith smiled softly. âI donât either.â
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
Morning came too soon, Azriel had been on edge long before she walked in. He felt her before he saw her, the shift in the air, the wrongness through the bond. Lilith stepped into the foyer, clad in Illyrian leathers, dagger strapped to her thigh, something in his chest tightened. She looked like herself, but she did not feel like herself.
Power clung to her. Not the steady burn he had come to recognise, but something uncontrollable, waiting for release.
And then she looked at him âWhat is wrong?â His voice came out sharper than intended.
She sat between him and Feyre, the seat he had saved for her. His hand slid beneath the table immediately, fingers closing around her wrist. He flinched âYour burning up, Lilyâ It wasnât like the heat yesterday when they were close, it was like a fever either.
No this was something else; wrong that prickled his skin.
Her eyes moved too carefully taking in her surroundings before action. White wings crossed his peripheral vision, Thesan entering, Seraphim at his back. The other High Lords followed shortly after, power brushing against power in suffocating waves. But Azrielâs mind was occupied by what was wrong with his mate.
âWhatâs wrong?â Feyreâs voice echoed in Lilithâs mind calm yet concerned
Lilithâs reply came too fast âI donât know Feyre⊠but something isâI donât feel right.â Her voice fractured âTell Az⊠please tell Az there is something wrongânot with meâ â âLet them all know that what Nesta felt was rightâ
Azrielâs gripped tighten on her hand as he heard the message from his High Lady.
Azriel barely registered the High Lords taking their seats, Rhys beginning the meeting, words being exchanged about the war, alliances, Hybern. None of it mattered. Because the power inside Lilithâwas building.
His shadows recoiled as the felt it too. That never happened. The shadows had loved Lilith since the beginning. They sometimes even disobeyed him when it came to her.
Her fingers trembled under his, as the voice came in her head âCome to meâ They laughed âUse me by your willâ ââWeâll tell you all our true secretsâ
Azrielâs full focus was on her as she gazed up to the window. Too still, she was too still
Someone got up and ran, âIâ Nestaâs voice broke his focus âSomething is wrongâ she terribled as she clutched her stomach and hurled
Azriel snapped his head back to Lilith gripping her arm as she stared at the sky, lips moving soundlessly.
âIââ Nesta voice broke, raw, terrified. âSomething is very wrongâ - âNot with usââ she gasped, and threw up once again.
Cassian lunged for her. âNestaââ
âDonât touch me!â She cried, shaking, eyes wide with horror âItâs callingâ
Azriel moved in front of Lilith without thinking, hands cupping her face, forcing her to look at him âLilyâ Her eyes were unfocused âAngel, look at meâ
Her lips parted taking a shallow breath âThe bookââ That was all she got out before silver-blue threads sparked from her skin.
Helion leaned forward, eyes sharp. Across the room Beron rose to this feet âWhat in the Cauldronââ He snapped
âSit downâ Rhys snarled, power cracking like lightning through the chamber.
The floor began to shake, violently. The entire Dawn Court palace shuddered as if something beneath it had awakened.
And thenâ silence.
Lilith collapsed forward, gasping. Azriel caught her before she hit the ground. The power was completely gone. The heat completely vanished
She shoved out of his grip, stumbling toward the window. Azriel followed her, his gaze now fell on what had happened and this blood turn to ice
The Wallâwas gone, rubbing into pieces across Prythian
Rhys breathed, low and deadly âHybernâ
đ©đȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©đȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©đȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©đȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©đȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©đȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©âĄđȘ
Note: I hope you guys lied it. I kept debating if i shout add Lilith riding Az, but idk it just felt right.
I know it's taking longer than usual, but i need to have a certain state of mind to write Lily's character.
My Taglist <3: @the-onlyy-angie @lreadsstuff @xadenswhore @willowpains @secretsicanthideanymore @a-chegwidden @tele86 @i-am-infinite @booksbypisces @anon1227 @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @sophieliz @nebarious @whore-of-many-hot-men @art1012 @plants-w0rld @bruuuuuuuuuuuuh @mitziix @annamariereads16 @illustrioussanctuarystatue @goldenlove1665 @madeofeverythingjuice @regulusblackstar @wickedpyro @littleemissperfecttt @nikfigueiredo @celestialgilb @thelady-of-dragonfire @ogscoobydoobysnacks @namelesssav @smashee0789 @littowl @watermelomsuger @trippiehippieashley @aurora-maria
on thin ice
hockey star!az x premed/nerdy!reader
summary: azriel is a senior at the university of michigan and the star center and captain of their hockey team. it seems like he has everything a man could ever ask forâgood grades, loyal teammates, top pick in the nhl draft, girls falling all over him all the timeâŠ
but then you come alongâhis anatomy lab partner for the semester.
youâre a quiet, closed off sophomore studying neuroscience, and youâve never heard of himâhavenât even watched a single hockey game in your life.
azriel doesnât know how you fit into his life and why you seem to throw such a wrench into his future plansâbut he does know that he has to have you, and heâll stop at nothing to make sure you see that heâs something that you can let yourself have.
series warnings: violence (itâs hockey), my minimal hockey knowledge (but extensive anatomy knowledge), pining and yearning, azriel is down bad and reader is too scared, mentions of past trauma, anxious!reader, panic attacks, eventual smut
add yourself to the taglist
one (coming soon!)
Well, I wrote an Eris fanfic, and it's not showing in the latest updates. I don't know if it's a glitch or something else. So, creating this post just in case. If anybody knows, please lemme know
Part1

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The Snowflake and The Fire
Summary: They met Under the Mountain. Carved a thin slice of happiness from the misery. But all things changed after she got to know what he was hiding.
Warnings: Lil angst, soft Eris?, female reader , Non-canon
Author's Note: Hi guys, please go a little easy on me. This is the first time I'm writing Eris. The idea came to me when i was writing my other ACOTAR series. I think it would be like a 3 parts thing. Anways ENJOY!
Italic sentences mean past memories.
He saw her again at the summons of the High Lords; he saw her usual glowing skin now, now had a grey sheen to it. His heart twisted. Â The sharp bob of pale-blonde hair, normally so bright it bordered on white, hung dull and brittle around her face. And she had become thin. Too thin. His jaw clenched. By the Mother, she had looked better under the Mountain.
His gaze went to her eyes; that fire in them didnât dim, not even close. Fragile hope filled his chest.
His father whispered something to him about the High Lady of Night's power, and he just nodded, going along. He didnât care. Not when she was sitting right opposite to him, still burning
She knocked on the door
âEmber!â Mor exclaimed, âCome inâ
Ember slipped inside, brows rising when she spotted the High Lord of Day himself lounging in an armchair like he owned the room âAre you still trying to get them together?â She asked dryly.
Helionâs unsuccessful attempts to convince the Illyrians, Azriel and Cassian, and Mor to join him in bed, all at once.
Helion pressed a hand to his chest âA male can hopeâ
Ember only shook her head, lips twitching despite the exhaustion shadowing her features.
Her gaze shifted to Rhysand and Feyre. The soft smile she gave them was real âI never got the chance to thank youâ She said quietly âFor everythingâ Everyone knew Feyre, Cursebreaker. But Rhysand⊠Rhysand had helped her more times than anyone realised. He and-
âYou donât need to be so formal with us, Emberâ Rhysand said âYouâre a friendâ
Something flickered in her eyes at that. Gratitude. Weariness. And beneath it all, that same unbroken spark.
Ember had gone along with Mor and Helion for as long as she could stand it, laughing when expected, playing along with Helionâs theatrics. But the moment the teasing shifted toward something heated, she slipped out.
âI see your taste has changedâ Eris calmly said, blocking her path towards her room
She tried to sidestep him. He moved with her, blocking her again
âMoveâ She snapped
Eris smirked âNot in the mood to play, little fire?â
Rage shot through her veins. Before he could blink, her hand wrapped around his throat, slamming him back against the wall.
Eris didnât fight. His eyes glittered with something dark âI remember when you liked me doing thisâ He rasped
Emberâs grip tightened âYou let her dieâ Each word as sharp as a blade. Erisâs smirk faltered
âYou knewâ She hissed âYou knew about the forty babes in my home, and you did nothingâ
All colour drained from his face. The spark in his eyes dimmed, replaced by something hollow. Haunted. For a heartbeat, he looked like a ghost.
Her hand trembled with fury before she released him. He didnât chase her. Didnât speak. Didnât even breathe as she brushed past. Just like before, he let her walk away. Again.
°ââàŠ.àż
Winter was building itself again.The war had taken a toll on everyone, but her home, her people, had endured. The number of soldiers had thinned, though not by much. Winter warriors were trained differently, conditioned from the earliest ranks to withstand nearly anything. Resilient. Unyielding.
Ember stood in the first snowfall of the Winter Solstice month, letting the flakes settle on her face. It was ritual, memory, and prayer all at once. Her mother once told her she was born on the first snowfall of this very month. It was considered a blessing in Winter Court tradition.
The irony of naming her Ember had never been lost on her.
âEmber! Get in!â Her brotherâs voice drifted from the doorway
âComing, Kalâ She called back
Still, she lingered a heartbeat longer, closing her eyes, whispering the same small wish she offered every year. A small and silent prayer for her mother, for her family.
As soon as she stepped inside, Viviane and Kallias broke into song.
âHappy birthday to youâŠâ
Ember froze. Fifty years. Fifty years of not celebrating her birthday with her sister and her brother. Amarantha ensured Kallias was kept far from her. The separation had ached, but it was also a reminder of that day-
Ember could see the first snow fall, âWell, Happy Birthday, Emberâ She told herself, blowing on the candle and a piece of cupcake she stole from the kitchens
âWell, isnât thisâŠ.cute? Sad?â A voice drawled. She whipped her head to see Autumnâs Heir standing leaning against the wall, arms crossed, amber eyes glinting.
She didnât bother hiding her annoyance âItâs none of your concern, Erisâ â âOr are you going to report me for just celebrating my birthday quietly?â She shot back
âI should? Shouldnât I?â He gave a lazy, practised smirk
Ember glared at him âDo whatever pleases youâ
Winter Court members whoâd survived Under the Mountain were used to cruelty, used to being watched and judged. She didnât flinch anymore. Not even from him, not from anyone.
Eris' unusual calm demeanour, cracked, as if he knew exactly where her mind went âHappy Birthday, Winter Princessâ His voice softened. With that, he left.
She blew out the candles, laughter catching in her throat as she embraced her sister and her brother âThank you, Kalâ She murmured
Kalliasâs eyes softened. He brushed a gentle hand down her back, a slow, grounding stroke she remembered from childhood.
Viviane, incapable of containing her excitement, grabbed Emberâs arm âCome, comeâ She urged, practically vibrating.
They walked down the hallway together, and when Ember stepped into her chamber, her jaw dropped.
âVIV!â Her eyes widened. Piles of wrapped boxes, silver, blue, white, and glittering, covered half the room.
Viviane only chuckled. âHalf of them are from our courtâ She said delightfully
âYouâve made such good connections with the other courts these past monthsâ - âWhat was I supposed to do?â Viviane teased âTurn them away?â
Ember huffed a soft laugh, overwhelmed. She didnât even know where to begin, so she reached for the smaller boxes
Vivaiane turned halfway to the door âOhâ She paused âBefore I forgetâ
She took out a letter and a small red box from her dress pocket âThese also cameâ She whispered
Emberâs breath hitched, seeing the maple stamp on the letter. Her fingers froze. She lifted her gaze to Viviane, who tried, unsuccessfully, to hide the concern tightening her mouth.
Ember shook her head. Viviane was the only one she had ever told. One night months ago, when the pain wouldnât quiet, when Ember was torn between duty and longing, between truth and the memory of a male she lost and a male she still feared wanting.
âDoesââ
âNo,â Viviane cut her off gently. âKallias doesnât have a clue.â Her brows furrowed in concern âAre you sure you donât want to tell him?â Ember nodded
Not yet. Maybe not ever
She unlocked the small wooden box on her dresser, lined with simple magic to protect its contents. Inside were several similar maple-stamped letters, all untouched. She added the new letter and the red box to the pile, unopened, unread, and closed the lid.
The room felt quieter for it. Heavier.
°ââàŠ.àż
âYou What?â Viviane and Ember said in unison
Kallias raised his brows âUmmâ ââI seem to miss a few detailsâ His knowing look flicked between his mate and his sister
âItâs nothingâ Viviane said too quickly
Ember cleared her throat âAutumn has never been kind to usâ She slipped into her emissary role with ease  âWhy must we entertain this?â
Kallias took a slow breath, choosing his words carefully âItâs a crowningâ He said âWe all knew Eris would take the throneâ He paused, holding up the letter in his hand âThis is to make it officialâ
âItâs not like he is becoming the High Lordâ Viviane mumbled
Kallias sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose âLook, I donât want to argue.â His tone shifted to the authority of Winter âEm, youâre goingâ- âAnd that is finalâ
Ember didnât sleep that night. She couldnât. She lay awake in her bed, every thought circling back to the same reality: She would have to see him. Speak to him. Stand before him without Viviane at her side, without Kalliasâs quiet strength in the corner of the room.
No safety net. No excuses.
Her stomach twisted. Her breath came too fast. Anxiety flashed through her body. She pressed a hand to her chest, willing her heartbeat to steady.
Sheâd faced Amarantha. Sheâd survived Under the Mountain. Sheâd walked through war and blood and loss.
But the thought of seeing him again, that was the thing that kept her wide awake until dawn.
°ââàŠ.àż
âErisâ His motherâs voice came, soft, cracked, but also commanding. He stopped in the hallway
He turned, immediately and stepped into her chamber âMaâ He said gently âI told you to be carefulâ
She lifted a trembling hand and touched his right cheek, fingers brushing the faded bruise that still lingered âWhat did he do to you, my sweet boy?â
Erisâs expression shifted, all sharpness dissolving for her alone âBetter me than youâ He whispered.
She swallowed hard, blinking rapidly âApply the salve I gave you last timeâ She said âDo not forget this timeâ Eris nodded
A heartbeat went by before she asked âDid you get any word?â
âLucien is safeâ Eris answered automatically âHeâs adjustingâ
Her head snapped toward him with a look that pinned his gaze on the ground âI know thatâ She said âI wasnât asking about himâ
Eris inhaled sharply and blinked once, hard âNot that I know ofâ He said, steadying his voice into something neutral.
She straightened, her gaze turning razor-sharp and unbearably tender all at once âA mother knows, Erisâ She used the same tone when he was young and got caught lying. Every time he lied to protect her, to protect himself, to protect someone else he cared about
He said nothing.
Eris lay on his bed, the room dark except for the soft glow of the fireplace. He held the letter in his hands, reading it for what felt like the hundredth time.
To the Crowned Prince of Autumn,
Iâm pleased to inform you that Winter will be attending the celebration of your official title. Our emissary, Ember, would be there two nights before the celebration.
Please take the necessary steps to accommodate her
Sign Kallias
His breath left him in a slow, shuddering exhale. Two nights early. Alone. No sister. No High Lord. No buffer. Just her.
He closed his eyes, gripping the parchment tight enough that it crinkled. The bruise on his cheek throbbed dully, an echo of his fatherâs temper, of the endless performance he played at court.
But thisâŠthis hurt in a different way. This he felt in his soul.
Ember is coming here, he thought to himself. And Mother help him, because he wasnât ready.
°ââàŠ.àż
They sat together at one of Amaranthaâs forced celebrations, something Ember never attended unless ordered. Gods knew how, Eris had convinced her to go with him.
âSoâ Ember muttered, turning her head toward him âWhat is this about?â
Eris didnât answer. His eyes were fixed on the females offering dances to the males, hips swaying, mouths painted with the promise of distraction. The wine was working through his system, he was on his sixth glass.
Ember huffed âWhy am I not surprised?â she muttered under her breath.
Sometime late, she got up and gave a gracious bow to Amarantha, Her stomach churned, bile rising in her throat. She gave a nod and got dismissed.
Ember fled
A knock sounded at her door not long after. She opened it, and of course, there he stood Eris. Smug smile. Stinking of perfume and liquor. Ember scrunched her nose in disgust.
âWhat do you want?â She demanded
âYou left earlyâ Eris slurred
âYou're drunkâ Eris furrowed his brow âOh! I thought we were stating obvious factsâ Ember said dryly
âYou missed all the funâ He gave a smug smirk, stepping inside Â
âYou might enjoy half-naked female rubbing against youâ â âI certainly donâtâ She snapped back
âHmmmmâ He prowled forward. Ember stepped back until her spine hit the wall âHow about a male?â He purred
Then his mouth was on hers, rough, uninvited. Ember shoved him off with a snarl and slapped him. Hard. The sound cracked through the air.
She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand
âGet.Outâ She growled
He left. And everything shattered. Both of them knew what that moment meant, how it tore their careful balancing act apart.
What Ember didnât expect was everything that came after. The slow shedding of his mask whenever they were alone. The quiet apologies he didnât know how to speak aloud. The attachment that built itself through nights of whispered truths and stolen moments until a single day without him felt like a wound.
She sighed. She didnât know why she thought about those memories, didnât know why she tortured herself like that. Her mind just wonât listen to her sometimes.
She rubbed her eyes as she got up from the bed. She splashed cold water on her face. And saw her reflection in the mirror. Time had changed her. A hollow of the beauty she once was.
Eris laughed âHey-heyâ he chucked âStopâ he caught an arm, as the other continued
Ember grinned âWho would have thoughtâ She tickled him again âThat Eris Vanessra would be so ticklish?â He caught the other hand and pulled her close
âOnly youâ She felt his breath, as he leaned in closer â
Ember clenched her jaw tight, staring at her reflection
He knew, about the babes, about the attack. He knew. And she wouldnât forget that, couldnât. Not ever
She descended the stairs, staring at the bags waiting by the door. Going to Autumn Court, being in the same space as him, felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, scared but also something else she refused to acknowledge. Her loyalty to Kallias mattered more than anything she felt. Or didnât want to feel.
Kallias met her at the landing, worry carved into his silver-lined gaze âReady?â He asked softly. Ember nodded.
âNow listen to meâ He said, voice gentle. The brother she knew, even as it carried the authority of a High Lord âDonât let them get under your skinâ Another nod.
âWrite to me every dayâ He added, eyes softening âIâll miss youâ
She couldnât trust her voice, so she didnât reply. She simply picked up her bags and stepped outside. And left for Autumn Court.
âËïœĄâââïœĄËâ âêłâ *â§ âËïœĄâââïœĄËâ âêłâ *â§ âËïœĄâââïœĄËâ âêłâ *â§ âËïœĄâââïœĄËâ âêłâ *â§ âËïœĄâââïœĄ
Note: I really hope you guys liked it, i always felt Eris, just would have a soft side, you know.
Comments are open, please let me know what you think.
Court of Calm Chaos - Series List (Ongoing)
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Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
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me staying up late to read fanfictions when I know Iâm supposed to be asleep
Court of Calm Chaos - Chapter 6
Summary: After the battle in the Summer Court, something shift inside Lilith, as she and Azriel grow closer. And her new family is able to get her out of her shell.
Warnings: Mature content, 18+ (just a few sentences), dealing with loss in an unhealthy way, alcohol
Authors Note: Hi guys! Finally this chapter is here. I had so much fun writing it, I hope you guys enjoy. Comments are open to all.
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5
Lilith sat on the floor near the fire, her stable hands still coated with the marks she left on the maleâs today. She had attacked them, but in defence. She felt a presence beside her. Feyre squeezed Lilithâs hand; she looked up to see her sisterâs worried gaze. Â Lilith shook her head and turned her gaze towards the fire.
Lilith knew why the male attacked her; she had roamed those woods enough to know what was going to happen if she didnât. She saw that hunger in his eyes; he had pinned her to a tree. She didnât hesitate when she took her dagger out and stabbed him, didnât hesitate when she pinned him to the floor and held it to his throat. The man stayed motionless, his eyes now showed horror, the familiar metallic scent hit the cold air-
âLilypadâ, She jolted at the voice of her father âItâs lateâ Her father looked at her with a worried gaze. Indeed, it was late when all her sisters went to sleep
She got up, mustering a smile, âGoodnight Fatherâ she said as she headed inside
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The sound of metal clashing against metal, of screaming, and orders being shouted filled the air. Lilithâs breath came in ragged gasps as she yanked her dagger free from another Hybern soldier. She wasnât in the heart of the battle, but still, she was here. When she first saw the battlefield, her body slipped into a strange yet familiar cold calm. She was fighting despite Feyreâs protests.
She fought side by side with fae she didnât recognise; Lilith just knew her targets. Her power buzzing underneath her skin, spiralling. She released just enough magic to make an oncoming arrow miss. She wasnât sure how she ended up surrounded by five soldiers closing in on her in a circle.
Two lunged, and she dodged to the side. But the sword hit her shoulder, a tingling at first, but then pain rippled through her arm. Lilith bared her teeth.
Now.
She loosened the leash on the magic, twisting and turning the very metal armour that protected them, into shards of steel moving inwards, piercing their bodies. They cried in pain, hitting the ground âItâsââ a soldier choked out, staring at her in horror  âItâs youâ Then silence
Lilith entered the palace doors. She was thankful for the fae healing, as the wound was now almost half closed. She scanned the place for any familiar face; the soldiers of night and summer alike were around, nursing their wounds.
âWhere are you?â Lilith sighed in relief as Feyreâs voice echoed in her mind
âPalace entryâ She replied
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âYou are no less of a fool than the Generalâ Madja said. She had come to the Town House, on the High Lady's orders, to have the Inner Circle checked up after the battle âGetting reckless, like thisâ she shook her head âOn a battlefieldâ
Tarquin, the High Lord of Summer, was thankful enough to forgive the âunfortunate incidentâ as he put it, as Night was the only one who came to their aid.
Lilith had put him in his place after she had seen through his denial of what Feyre and Rhysand were trying to explain
Lilith had just walked up to them, and calmly told âI do not have any ties with you, High Lord of Summerâ â âNor any responsibilities in the Court I reside inâ She glanced at Feyre and Rhysand âAnd yet I stand here fighting for the lives of your Courtâ â âAnd yes I know what you thinkâ She paused âIf the book was still here it wouldnât come to thisâ
She looked to Tarquin, âIf the book was still hereâ â âIt would have been, much, much worseâ â âAnd I think deep down you know it tooâ
Lilith winced at Madjaâs sharp tone as she healed her; she didnât even know there were wounds on her legs and back
âThank you, Madjaâ Lilith said with a smile,
âWaitâ Lilith saw the healerâs solemn face âI need to do one more testâ Lilith opened her mouth to protest âNo question, Lilithâ Madjaâs tone was final âCome to the clinic in 2 daysâ
Lilith gave a nod to the Healer as she walked her out.
That night, Lilith held the note in one hand and a mug of steaming tea in another. It wasnât the first time she had had the dream about being in the Cauldron. But were they dreams, though? The taunts from it were quite specific, Bring her to me, it had told Lilith.
She sat in the armchair. Lilith needed answers, not just about the dreams, but this newfound sensation of longing she felt. But it felt far off, not inside her but reaching to her
She glanced at the note again, whispering to the empty room,âYours, Azrielâ
He was gone, to where, well, she didnât know; his spymaster duties. Lilith knew it was far and dangerous to some level, as none of the shadows remained.
She missed them, had gotten attached to them. Even on the battlefield, one of the shadows remained with her. Lilith chuckled at the memory of the tiny shadow slipping from her hair after they landed back in Velaris. Azriel was gone by then, and it had followed him.
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At dawn, standing on the training field, much smaller than the one in the Wind House and without the protection wards
There are no protection wards on the battlefield, Lilith thought to herself. She began setting up different target boards and a training dummy in front of her. On the ground were different swords and daggers.
She started training with the dummy, releasing bits of magic towards the sword and daggers; few hit the targets, others missed. She remembered Morâs comment Any target missed is an enemy approaching you closer. She tried again, and again, her physical focus elsewhere, when her magic focus was somewhere different
Her jaw clenched as the mocking of Cauldron ran in her head, âThatâs all you can do, bend some objects?â
Lilith halted, as her ears began to ring with the screams and shouts of the innocent people of the Summer Court. Something shifted within her as her power buzzed; this time, she didnât leash it as it blew in streaks of blue and silver.
Lilith panted as she saw the image before her: the boards, shattered, and the dummy in half. A satisfying grin crossed her face. And she continued
A faint gasp came from a distance. Lilith whipped her head, eyes widening in surprise to see Feyre standing there, looking utterly shocked. Lilith just gave an awkward wave to her sister. This was the first time she was seeing her powers
They walked inside the house and settled down
âI wanted to check up on youâ Feyre said with worry, no pleasantries then â straight to the point, Lilith noted
 âLilyâ = âThe battle I know how difficult it must-
âIâm fine, re-reâ Lilith didnât let her complete the sentence. Feyre was always worried; she always thought the silence Lilith had after attacking any male was of guilt
âPlease donât lie to meâ Feyre's voice was full of concern
How can I explain to her that I am totally fine? That guilt and shame of killing never dawned on me; ever. Lilith sighed, âI am notâ She held Feyreâs hand âTrulyâ
Feyre opened her mouth to protest, as footsteps approached âThere you are, darlingâ Rhysand took a seat next to her âI've been wondering where you wentâ Lilith took a long breath of relief, mouthing a âThank youâ towards Rhysand Â
âIllyrian babyâ Feyre teased as he elbowed him gently
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Lilith and Rhysand entered the House of Wind,
âBefore Cass gets hereâ Rhysand said, âI heard what you were thinkingâ Lilith's brows furrowed
Rhysand sighed, âThe conversation with Feyre when she asked how you wereâ
Lilith's eyes widen âRhys, why did-â â âYou practically shouted the thoughtâ â âI can't control it all the timeâ Rhysand explained with apologetic eyes.
Rhysand held her shoulders âBut Iâd like you to know itâs completely fineâ â âFeeling like that, I meanâ
He stood up straight, an odd spark in his eye âYou need to work on your mental shieldsâ He said defiantly
Lilith narrowed her eyes âYes, High Lordâ She gave a mocking bow; her brother-in-law just laughed
Lilith watched the glow of the sunset. She shook her head, seeing Cassian arriving with Mor, and Lilith hugged the female with a smile.
Cassian pouted, âWhat? I donât get the same welcomeâ
Lilith chuckled and hugged him âYou were supposed to be here an hour agoâ Cassian held his hand up in defeat
As they sat together, âYou fought wellâ Cassian said, pride in his voice. A warm feeling spread in Lilithâs chest. Mor had told her that, but to hear it from the General of the Night Courtâs army, well, she didnât know how to react. Lilith grinned and nodded.
âSo will you be going to the Court of Nightmares?â Lilith asked Mor
Mor tisked, âI have toâ â âI know where Keir keeps his treasuresâ
They had spoken about the mirror, how to obtain it; if asking won't help, stealing would. Lilith would not be joining them. Unfortunately, she had a different task, with Azriel not here and Nesta with Amrenâ
âHow do you feel about seeing Elain?â Mor questioned,
Lilith blinked âWellâ She took a long breath âI think I should be with herâ â âI know things have beenâ She glanced at them âAwkwardâ Cassian huffed âBut well, it is what it isâ
âYou guys need to show up in Hewn, Nesta and Amren are working on the bookâ â âI understand why Feyre and Rhys asked me for thisâ Lilith shrugged
Mor wrapped a comforting arm around Lilith âWell, let's loosen up for tomorrow's eventâ She said in a baby-cute voice that had Lilith and Cassian laughing.
After dinner, one drink turned into two, it became three as Cassian and Mor shared the experiences of the last war. Lilith was on her fourth glass; she was on the fine line of somewhere between tipsy and drunk.
Mor poured another glass for herself âI can't wait for this to get overâ â âI want the normal backâ
Normal, that word, sent Lilith to chug the remaining amber liquor
âWhat is normal?â Lilith began
âHuh?â Mor said
Lilith hugged the pillow, drooping towards the side âWhen I was young, normal was to play with my sisters, to sit in my fatherâs studyâ Lilith slurred her words âNormal was to play the piano in front of everyone before we had to sell itâ Lilith sighed
She was pouring herself another glass, Mor was about to stop her, but Cassian stopped her âLet her speak thisâ
Lilith took a huge sip âIn the cottage when Feyre was there, normal was hunting, protecting, making sure everyone was fedâ Her words slurred more now.
She forgot the pillow and sat hunched âBut when she left, and we got the riches back, normal was being alone, going to treatment aloneâ her hand was tilting to left and right with every sentence
Lilith looked out to the sky from the balcony âSurvival mode was normalâ Lilith chuckled âAnd then I got hereâ Lilith pointed to the ground. With lips pouted, she looked at Mor and Cassian, who were listening with interest.
Lilith finished her glass âI thought everything would be fineâ â âNew body, New lifeâ Lilith let out a dry laugh âNopeâ Lilith said, emphasising the âpâ âFeyre goneâ â âUnknown magicâ = âWarâ Each statement was told in a half laugh.
She took a huge gulp of drink and growled out âIdiotic dreams about the fucking Cauldronâ
Suddenly, Lilithâs gaze went to the corridor where all the rooms were. Cassian and Mor follow her gaze and then look at her in surprise
âThat voiceâ Lilith said her tone more stable than before, a seriousness in the tone
Cassian and Mor shared a look âWhat voice?â the former asked
Lilith looked between them, glass in hand âIt sounds familiarâ â âI think it is himâ â âNo, I KNOWâ â âI heard himâ â âI'm 98âŠno 99% sure, it was himâ Lilith emptied her glass
Lilith popped her legs up âIdiotic shadow boyâ She slurred
Mor couldnât help but laugh. Cassian was grinning at Lilith,
âWith those eyesâ â âThat smileâ Lilith mumbled as her eyes drifted shut
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Soft, silky sheets were what she felt, as her senses came back. Lilithâs eyes were shut; she didnât want to open them
The smell of cedar hit her, followed by coffee and eggs. She stirred; it was too damn tempting
Lilith opened her eyes and sat up, adjusting to the blinding light and the pounding headache. She took her black blanket away
Wait? Black? Lilith looked around the room, a heart pounding, soft grey walls, black silk sheets, a dresser on the opposite side, and so many weapons. Lilith gasped, the smell of cedar and night-chilled hitting her
Fuck ! What was I doing in Azrielâs room? She got up and bolted out
Lilith sat on the dining table, not able to meet Cassian and Morâs eyes,
âMorning, Lilâ Cassian said in a singing voice. Lilith gave a small wave
After eating some of her food, Lilith couldnât take it anymore. She put her spoon down with more force than necessary âBoth of you are just going to pretend?â
Mor arched a brow âWhat happened?â She said teasingly, âWe are not pretendingâ
âOh shut upâ Lilith retorted âHow did I end upâ She paused, warmth creeping in her face âIn Azrielâs room?â Her voice became a loud whisper
They both laughed as Lilith looked between them, âSo you truly donât remember?â Cassian said in the midst of laughter
âNo, I donâtâ Lilith exclaimed
âOkay, okayâ Mor said between chuckles âWhatâs the last thing you remember?â
Lilith thought about last night, the normal topics, the details of the previous war,
Lilith gasped, her hand covering her mouth, the ranting about normalcy, the piano, the survival, the confessions she made about him.
âI walked there by myselfâ Lilith said, not able to admit the truth
âHmmâ Mor's voice came âAnd said something about finishing what almost happenedâ She paused âWhat almost happened, Lilyyy?â
Lilith remembered the day he left for Winter Court, the closeness between them. She could still feel his breath
âLook at youâ Cassian huffed, âSomeone has a little crushâ He smirked. Little crush was an understatement.
Lilith cleared her throat âIâll finish this in my roomâ Her voice was less stable than usual
She shut the door with laughter still reaching; Lilith couldnât help but smile. Might be, just might be, they knowing wasnât a big deal.
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After making sure Cassian and Mor donât say a word to anyone, especially not Feyre, they agreed, but Lilith highly doubted that. Â They all winnowed to the Town House. It was almost time for the others to go when Mor grabbed Lilith and took to her bedroom
Lilith raised a brow âWhat's wrong?â
âI wanted to speak with you, before we leaveâ Mor said âLast nightâ Lilith winced, remembering what happened,
âYesterdayâ Mor tone was gentle yet serious âThat was normal, Lilyâ
Lilith's lips parted âWe donât know how the next few weeks would goâ Mor's eyes showed fear for the first time.
âLlly, you live by nowâ â âDonât hold back, if the war comes tomorrow, you live todayâ
âI donât know what you mean, Morâ Lie, but she had to try
Mor gave a dry laugh âSeriously?â-âAfter hearing your confessions?â â âAfter knowing what you feel for Az?â she paused âTell himâ
Lilith shook her head vigorously âWhat if he doesnât-â
âWhat if he does?â Mor said, she held Lilith's hand, taking a long breath, âI have known Az for many years, Rhys and Cas even longerâ â âAnd trust me when I say, he is different with youâ Her eyes were pleading âAt least tryâ Lilith nodded, not knowing what to say
Elain either stayed in her bedroom or wandered out to sit in the garden. Feyre had warned Lilith not to push her, to ask gently. So Lilith did. And she understood, everyone carried trauma differently, and healing never looked the same twice.
They walked into the living room together, Elain silent as ever.
âWould you like some tea?â Lilith asked.
Elain nodded, and Lilith offered her a soft smile. Small steps.
They settled into the armchairs by the fireplace. Lilith felt a strange unease; she was far more comfortable with books and training than with delicate conversations like this. But she would try.
âNestaâŠâ Elainâs voice was barely a whisper. âShe was wrongâ Elain finally lifted her gaze, looking directly at Lilith for the first time.
Lilithâs eyes widened a fraction, and she nodded.
Time went by in silence. Nuala had given Lilith one of Nestaâs books, knowing her taste, it was the smutty romance kind. Lilith had thanked her and began reading.
The clock chimed, breaking her concentration. Seven oâclock. An hour before dinner, Lilith didnât know how to get Elain moving more. She had an idea, butâ
âIâm going to bake a pieâ Lilith announced to no one in particular, remembering the days she and Elain baked together when they were young âWould you like to oversee?â or bake with me left unsaid, Elain shook her head
Lilith didnât push. She simply walked into the kitchen and whispered something to Nuala and Cerridwen.
A few minutes later, Elain heard a sharp curse. Then Lilithâs dramatic groan: âThis is so wrong! Why do I take on tasks I canât handle?â
Elain rose from her chair and made her way to the kitchen. She paused in the doorway.
Flour dusted the counter like snow. Cracked eggshells and dirty bowls were scattered the counter. Lilith stood in the centre of it all, looking like a guilty child caught red-handed
âLilyâ Elainâs voice was barely a whisper. Lilith sheepishly smiled at her âSorry, Elain, Iâ She raised her hands sticky with dough
Elain stepped forward without a word. She began cleaning the mess, her movements slow but steady. Lilith watched her sister, a quiet warmth blooming in her chest.
Once the space was clear, Elain moved to the bowl of ruined batter and, with a small breath, began working on it.
Behind her, Lilith flashed a half-smile and a wink at Nuala and Cerridwen, who were doing a very poor job of hiding their amusement.
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Azriel entered the House of Wind. Rhysand had already given him an update; he had to go to the Town House, but wanted to change first.
He entered his room, removed all the weapons, his leathers, and landed on the bed with a soft thud. He was exhausted.
He took two deep breaths. He turned to his side and took another breath; his brows furrowed at the smell that reached him. He sat up and grabbed the sheets and smelled it again: fresh rainfall and peaches Â
âLilyâ He said in the empty room, his heart began to pound. She was here, his mate, on his bed,
He sighed, running a hand over his head, not knowing the story behind how this, but he knew she wasnât hurt; Rhysand had confirmed that
In a quiet voice, he said, âHouseâ â âPlease do not change these sheetsâ a smile tugging on his lips
The house responded with a note appearing on his bed,
âGo for it, she is smittenâ - C
What happened here? Azriel thought to himself, as he grinned, looking at the note his brother left.
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She was setting the table. Elain had made the pie. Lilith wasnât sure if it would have worked, but it did, and she was thankful to Mother for this improvement
There was a brush on her mental shields âHow are things?â Feyre's voice echoed in the mind
Lilith smiled, âWhy donât you see instead re-re?â Lilith showed her only the parts she wanted to,
âSh- She baked?â Feyre's voice was trembling âShe bakedâ This time it was more confident and happy âHow?â
âI have my waysâ Lilith hummed
âLilyâ
âOkay, okay, I pretended not to know how to make it, and she helpedâ Lilith answered truthfully
âYou have to tell me everythingâ
Before Lilith could reply, âI need to go nowâ and that was that
They were having dinner as a woosh sound came. Lilithâs eyes sparked as she saw Azriel walking inside, already feeling the cool tendrils along her legs.
âHelloâ Elain was the one to speak first
âHelloâ Azriel replied Â
Lilith arched a brow, glancing between the two of them, but Azrielâs gaze was locked on her. And for a heartbeat, everything else faded.
He slid into the chair beside her âHiâ
âHiâ Lilithâs voice came out far breathier than she intended. With him sitting this close, her pulse kicked hard against her ribs.
âSorry for the delayâ Azriel said
âIt is alrightâ Elain whispered with a soft smile,
A strange feeling twisted in Lilithâs chest; one she refused to name. The rest of dinner passed in near silence.
âYou should try the pieâ Lilith said âElain made itâ
Azriel's face was completely neutral âI willâ
Not long after, Elain rose from the table. âIâm going to my roomâ
 âDo you want me to come?â Lilith offered immediately
Elain shook her head gently âNo, itâs alrightâ
And she slipped away, leaving Lilith and Azriel alone in the quiet.
Lilith and Azriel sat together in the living room, the quiet settling around them like a soft blanket.
 âHow was your mission?â Lilith asked
âGoodâ Azriel replied, âUpdated Rhys on the wayâ
Azriel tilted his head, studying her âHow did you get Elain to bake?â
Lilith leaned a little closer, a teasing glint in her eyes âYouâre the Spymaster. Figure it outâ
Those hazel-green eyes sparkled, he moved closer, âAre you changeling me?â Lilith only shrugged as she straightened
âWe will be back tomorrowâ Rhysandâs voice echoed in their minds âTake careâ Lilith frowned; she wanted to see Feyre.
But before she could reply, she noticed Azrielâs hand: knuckles white, jaw tight. His silence told her Rhys was still speaking to him privately.
Without thinking, Lilith took his hand and intertwined with hers, remembering Morâs words, Whatever tomorrow happens, Iâll live now
Azrielâs gaze slid to her, softening âWhat did he say?â Lilith asked
âNothing muchâ â âUpdatesâ Lie Rhysand had shown, what happened, how Lilith ended up in his bed.
 âLilyâ The way he said her name, her heart did a flip-flop.
Her thumb brushed over the back of his hand. She knew there were no âupdatesâ. Likely, Cassian had blabbed. But after today, after seeing Elain take a step forward, Lilith didnât care.
âDo they hurt?â Her voice was almost a whisper
âSometimesâ â âNot physically, but when the memory comes back, the itching and burning sensation returnsâ Lilith nodded
âIt-It was stepbrothersâ Azriel confessed, âThey thought mixing oil and fire with Illyrian healing would be a good experimentâ Lilith held his grip tighter
âDo they still live?â She questioned
âNoâ He paused âI killed themâ
âGoodâ There was no hesitation in her voice âBecause I might have, if they didâ
Something inside him cracked open at thatâsomething old, painful, and long sealed away. And it made the next words easier
 âMy fatherâ he rasped âHe locked me up in a cell, until I was elevenâ â âI was only allowed out when my Mother came to visitâ
His shadows stirred around him, as if remembering âThatâs when they came to meâ â âMy shadows, I meanâ
âIs your-â
âDeadâ Azriel said flatly, and with zero remorse
âAnd your mother?â Lilith asked gently
âSafeâ A small smile touched his lips. âShe would love youâ
A couple of heartbeats passed in quiet before Azriel leaned in, shadows curling low around him.
 âI have a confessionâ He mumbled
 Lilith's heart pounded so fast, she was scared he might be after to hear it âWhat is it?â
âI saw youâ She furrowed her brows
Azriel ran a hand through his hair âIn your house. Back in the human landsâ â âI saw you playâ
He hesitated, choosing his words carefully âFeyre was worriedâ â âTold us to keep an eyeâ Lilith arched an eyebrow
Azriel chuckled softly, âBut to noticed meâ - âYou suddenly stopped playingâ he paused âYou even looked back as you were leavingâ
He paused, his eyes turning like molten honey âI knew you didnât see me, my shadows hid me completely, but stillâŠâ
Lilith tilted her head. She remembered that day; the strange prickle along her spine, the sense of being watched. She had stopped mid-note.
Azriel leaned forward, gently tugging the strand of hair behind her ear âWill you play for me?â The husky tone of this spread fire in her veins
Lilith's cheeks flushed as she nodded once. Yes. She would, for him.
A bright smile broke across her face as she rose and tugged him up with her âComeâ
Azriel followed two steps behind, letting her lead. He didnât let go of her hand. The contact was comforting and terrifying in all the best ways. She brought him to the back of the house, to the old study where the piano waited in the far corner.
Azriel's brows lifted. He rarely came to his side of the house âYou played here beforeâ It was a statement more than a question
Lilith nodded. The flush on her cheeks faded, replaced by something steadier. A quiet resolve. She wanted to share this with him. She didnât want to hide anymore.
She sat at the bench and patted the seat beside her.
Azriel slid in next to her, a small grin on his face as his shadows spread outward, forming a soft barrier around the room âThe sound is only for us tonightâ he murmured
Lilith glanced at him, and he held her gaze âItâs already late, andâ He began
She let out a soft chuckle, âYou donât have to explain yourself, every time Azâ she shook her head, turning back to the piano as her hands found the keys
Lilith took a moment to think, to decide what story her hands would tell. Then she began.
The melody started soft and mournful at first, shaped by memories of lonely days and quiet ache. But gradually it shifted into something fuller, imperfect but warm, like the newfound life she had here.
Azrielâs shadows, usually still and alert, began to sway around them, moved by the music.
Lilith thought of all the moments sheâd shared with him, only him. The stolen quiet, the rare times they were alone. A whisper, for she truly felt how she was drawn to him. This foreign, startling need to be close. She didnât understand how someone could love so deeply, so fiercely; every thought changed the melody she played.
Azriel felt everything: her sadness, her loneliness, the fierce determination, her doubt and curiously. And threaded through all of them emotions, her love for him, raw and fragile and real. He closed his eyes; he didnât resist the urge to send his own emotions down the bond, to make her feel the depth of what she stirred in him.
Lilith continued playing.
Then it came in waves, a sense of longing, the need. She didnât stop, though; she knew these were his emotions. And that time, she recognised, she was sure of it. Â
When she finished, she didnât end with a final note. She left the melody incomplete, a pause instead of a stop, like the story still being written, shaped by the past and also the anticipation of the future.
Lilith exhaled unevenly and looked at Azriel; his eyes were still closed. Good. That made this a little easier
âMy feelingsâ She began quietly  âMy feelings for you areâŠdifferentâ A weight lifted from her chest âIâm drawn to youâ She remembered the light sheâd seen while playing, the warmth that spread through her.
âI think I know whyâ She whispered, shaking her head. She wouldnât stop now, couldnât âBut itâs always been like thatâ She said in a barely audible whisper âSince I first saw youâ
She didnât say âI love youâ .She didnât know what that love was supposed to feel like. But this feeling, whatever it is, it is real.
Azriel opened his silver-lined eyes, and her breath caught. He said nothing as he leaned in, brushing his lips over hersâa ghost of a kiss.
Lilith went still, eyes wide and searching. The unspoken plea in them pushed him forward.
Their mouths met again, slow and deliberate. There was no urgency, only a deep, unhurried pull toward each other. Lilithâs warm hands settled against his chest while his slid to the small of her back.
He rose, gathering her with him, and lifted her easily onto the piano.
Her gaze locked with his as he leaned in once more. The kiss that followed was differentâdeeper, charged, hungry. Her fingers threaded into his hair as if sheâd done it a thousand times. She matched each of his movements with her own, meeting him with growing intensity.
When his hand slipped to the nape of her neck, drawing her closer, deepening the kiss, a soft moan escaped from her.
They parted, panting for air, Azriel cupped her face, his eyes pleading âPleaseâ He whispered, voice rough âPlease, tell meâ He swallowed hard âTell me you feel itâ His voice cracked on the last word, his gaze locked on hers, raw and desperate.
Lilith knew exactly what he meant. But she couldnât feel it, sense it, yes. Her voice was a whisper, âI â I see itâ She closed her eyes, trying to reach the golden light, but there was an invisible wall. Â Tears fell before she could stop them âI canât reach itâ She choked out. She couldnât say what it meant, not when she couldnât grasp it
Azrielâs heart clenched, not because of what she said, but because she was crying
He wiped her tears grently âItâs alright. Please donât cryâ
Lilith shook her head, âIâm a broken mess Azâ she confessed to herself and him Â
Azriel laced his fingers with hers âDonât two broken things make a whole?â His forehead met hers.
They stayed like that for a long time, wrapped in each otherâs arms, wrapped in a silence full of everything they couldnât yet say, but felt. Far away, the clock chimed. The sound broke the spell, reminding them how late it was.
âWe should restâ Lilith whispered âItâs late. And you were already tired from the missionâ
Azrielâs eyes softened âAlright,â he murmured âAs you wishâ He took her hand, firm, steady, and led them away.
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
âTell me how you want it, angelâ Azriel asked in a low husky, dominating voice, the sound vibrating through her core as he caged her body with his own
âGentle,â He eased into her, filling her, inch by inch. A soft moan escaped her lips
âHardâ Azriel's grip tightened on her hips, slamming forward with brutal force. She felt him everywhere as her moans got louder
âOrâ He trailed off, a predatory grin curling his lips as he pinned her wrists above her head. His free hand dug into her thigh, tugging it higher âFeralâ
âAzriel!â She cried out, teetering on the edge âIâm-â
Lilith jolted awake with a strangled gasp, heat ripping through her. She felt too tight, too hot.
Lilith shoved the bedspread off her trembling legs, desperate for the cold air against her overheated skin. It did little. Images from the dream flashing behind her eyes, his eyes, his mouth, the way he looked at her
She exhaled sharply, trying to steady herself, but the air caught in her throat.
A snarl left through her lips as she glanced at the side table, the book lying there. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, toes hitting the cold marble floor.
Lilith pushed to her feet and headed for the bathing chamber. She twisted the tap as cold as it would go and stepped into the freezing water without hesitation.
Lilith walked into the living room, right after dawn. Voices drifted to her, familiar, warm, and despite the restless haze still clinging to her, a smile broke out.
âWhen did you guys get here?â She asked, pulling Feyre into a hug and then Mor.
âJust about fifteen minutes ago,â Cassian replied.
Her gaze slid past Cassian before she could stop it. Azriel stood in the corner, shadows curling lazily around him. The world seemed to vanish. Heart pounding against her ribs as memories of last night surged, his hands, his breath, the way heâd kissed her. And then that dream, vivid and consuming; Heat shot up her neck.
Someone cleared their throat. Lilith blinked hard, cheeks flushing as the room snapped back into reality.
âDid you get it?â She asked, a bit too quickly. Rhysand nodded
âWe have things to discussâ He began âWe need to-â
âIt can waitâ Mor cut in. âAmren isnât here yet.â She hooked her arm through Lilithâs. âCome on.â
Azriel shifted immediately, taking a step forward as his shadows slid toward Lilith, twining around her legs, brushing her arms. Mor shot him a pointed look, half warning, half amusement.
Lilith bit her lip, torn between glancing at Azriel again and pretending she wasnât desperately aware of him. She nodded instead.
âIâm stealing youâ She declared, grabbing Feyreâs hand, shooting a daggered glare at Rhysand for good measure.
Somewhere between her late-night reading and the way best friends always managed to share too much, Lilith had made a decision, Feyre would know. But only on her terms.
They stepped into Morâs room. Lilith turned to the shadows âNot this timeâ she murmured. âGo to himâ They hesitated, then obeyed
The door closed with a soft thus âBefore anythingâ Lilith said, looking at Feyre âYou are not the High Lady, or Rhysâs mate.â She lifted a finger âOr an overprotective sisterâ
Feyre arched a brow, amused
âIn this conversation, youâre my sister who used to be my best friend. The one I told everything to. Remember?â
Feyreâs smile softened. She nodded. âIf thatâs the caseâŠâ She glanced at Mor, then back at Lilith. âI already know. What happened. And the real reason we stayed in Hewn City.â
Morâs jaw dropped. âHe told you?â
Feyre smirked. âI have my waysâ A mischievous glint lit her eyes.
âWaitâ Lilith said, frowning âYou guys stayed behind in Hewn so Az and I could-â
âYesâ they both said in unison, and without shame. Lilith groaned and pressed a hand to her forehead, shaking it slightly.
âTell. Us. EVERYTHINGâ Mor demanded
Lilith bit her lip, heat creeping up her throat again as they all settled in. And then, slowly, hesitantly, she began.
Azriel sank into his usual armchair. He never initiated small talk, not with his brothers, unless there was a necessary reason. This wasnât one of those moments.
âI wonder what happenedâ Cassian mused, smirking as he sprawled across the sofa âThat Lil just stole Mor and Feyre like thatâ
Azriel didnât give anything away; his face might have, as Cassian barked out a laugh
âLook at him, Rhysieâ â âHis ears are going redâ
Azriel flicked him a warning glance, but the High Lord wasnât paying attention to Cassianâs teasing. Rhysandâs face had gone thoughtful, calculating
âIt hasnât snapped for her yetâ he said quietly, not a question, but an observation.
Azrielâs jaw tensed âNoâ
He hesitated, fingers flexing once against the armrest. âShe said she can sense it. But somethingâs blocking itâ He exhaled, frustrated, wings rustling âI donât know what that meansâ Cassianâs smirk faded a little at the rawness in Azrielâs voice.
âBut honestlyâ He continued, voice low âIâm relieved it hasnât snapped yetâ â â Not with Hybern, and the queensâ
The energy in the room shifted instantly, and playfulness dissolved into grim reality. Plans. War. Threats closing in.
Cassian straightened, clearing his throat âWe need to visit the campsâ A pause âLetters sent?â Both his brothers nodded
Rhysand pushed to his feet âI should call them back. We need to discuss matters that canât waitâ His voice dropped into command âCass, get Nesta out of her roomâ
Cassian groaned loudly âWhy is that always my job?â
Rhys didnât glance back âBecause youâre the only one she wonât throw a shoe atâ Cassian muttered something colourful under his breath as he left
Feyre opened the door âAh perfect timing, come inâ She let Rhysand inside
âLily he would know the answerâ Feyre declared
Lilith studied Rhysand, his stiff posture, the urgency in his violet eyes. He looked like a male trying to be a good mate, a good brother, while desperately hiding the fact that he had absolutely no idea what Feyre was referring to.
âLaterâ â âLet's goâ Lilith declared. Rhysandâs shoulders loosened as he looked at Lilith with sad yet thankful eyes
Nesta walked in the middle of the conversation, and nobody had stopped discussing what they were. What Elain had told her when she went to check up with her this morning, how her youngest sister got her doing something, Nesta didnât know. But now it felt like she owed something to Lilith
âIâm comingâ Her voice was steel âTo the mountains and the meetingâ She looked at Lilith and then at Amren, who gave aproving nod
âJust tell me whenâ Nesta looked directly at Rhysand
âYouâll be notified as soon as the time is setâ Rhysand said, with his High Lord voice
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
As they stepped into the House of Wind, Lilith spun on her heel and punched Cassian square in the stomach. He doubled over with a rough grunt.
âI know youâre the one who blabbedâ Lilith said, casually blowing on her knuckles. Mor burst into laughter
Azrielâs lips curved upward at the edges, subtle, but there. Lilith still hadnât met his eyes since the meeting. And now he was curious.
Cassian's face was still modelled in pain âOkay, okayâ He raised his hands up in defeat âI deserved thatâ
His gaze flicked between Lilith and Azriel, noting the distance between them, the way Lilith kept her eyes anywhere but on the shadowsinger. Cassian draped an arm over her shoulder.
Azriel let out a low, barely audible growl, and Cassian answered with a smirk âWhy donât we train a bit?â â âYou have not sparred with me yetâ he paused âHave you, Lily?â He stated, looking directly at Azriel.
Azrielâs jaw clenched so hard he wondered how his teeth didnât break.
Lilithâs brows furrowed âNoâ â âBut alrightâ she shrugged her shoulders,
Before she could take a step, Azriel grabbed Cassian and headed out to the training field
Lilith blinked âWhat just happened?â
Mor laughed, âItâs just the whole primal-protection of a mateâ Lilith snapped her head towards Mor
âSo itâs actually true then?â Lilith said in a whisper, âI never said the word out loadâ Lilith shook her head
Mor waved a hand âThis is nothing, wait until it snaps for youâ She grinned âItâs going to get much, much worseâ
She leaned back against the wall âSo, how was your experience with ânormalâ?â
Lilith opened her mouth, only a shy away, as a traitorous smile broke on her face.
âOoooh, look at youâ Mor crowed âLilith Archeron, who barely spoke when she came here and never smiled, now turning red as a tomatoâ Lilith elbowed her
âWe should train as wellâ Lilith said âI need to practice my archeryâ
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
Lilith was getting ready for bed, brushing her hair, when she heard a knock.
She opened the door, and froze.
âHi" Azriel stood on the other side. Shirtless. Illyrian tattoos on full display. She tried not to stare. Tried, and failed.
A smirk tugged at his mouth.
Lilith straightened, desperately trying to compose herself. âHiâ She opened the door wider, unsure why he had come. âMay I come in?â She nodded.
Azrielâs eyes dipped to the nightgown she wore, soft, pale, far too revealing under the light. He bit his lower lip. Lilith suddenly felt too hot, and looked anywhere but at him.
Azriel loved that she was like this with him, unguarded, flustered, real; he cleared his throat. âI thought we could talkâ
Lilithâs heart sank a little, but she understood. She had questions of her own.
They stepped onto the balcony âBefore anythingâ Azriel began, taking a breath as he stared at the sky, âI wanted to tell youâ â âMy feelings arenât because of the bondâ Lilithâs breath hitched. âEven when you were humanâ He shook his head âI wanted to stay by your sideâ His gaze finally met hers.
Lilith closed her eyes for a moment. If he could bare himself like this, so could she âItâs the same with meâ She whispered âThe time you first saw me on the treeâ â âI couldnât get you out of my mindâ She hesitated before adding âYour eyes kept popping upâ She swallowed âAnd then the voice. It was you, wasnât it?â
Azriel nodded âIt was meâ he said, voice rough.
âCome back. Come back to me. Iâll wait,â Lilith whispered, repeating the words.
Azriel stiffened, the memory hitting him hard. The air between them thickened, charged, wanting
Lilith cleared her throat âYou sure did a number on Cassâ She said, remembering how Azriel had pummelled him.
Azriel chuckled âHe had it comingâ
He stepped forward and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her against him âBut I donât want to talk about Cass right nowâ His voice dropped to a low whisper as his drooped to the sides, cocooning them
Lilithâs heart pounded. Heat curled through her body at the memory of her dream. She hesitated, then lifted a hand to his wingâpausing when she remembered his reaction last time.
Azriel dipped his head in a small nod, a permission; Lilith touched the inner membrane of his left wing
Azrielâs eyes rolled back as a shudder ran through him
âWhat does it feel like?â She asked gently
Azriel lowered his mouth to her ear and let out a breath âLike thatâ
A rush of goosebumps spread over her skin âAzâ she breathed
He kissed her then slowly, gently, deeply; he wanted to feel every second of it. The feeling of her warmth, his breath mingling with hers. Each small movement drew them closer, and the rest of the world vanished.
He removed the glamour from his scent as they parted. Completely bare, only for her
Lilithâs mind turned into a puddle as the scent reached her. She twisted in his embrace, pressing herself into him. She kissed him then
The moment their lips collided again, it wasnât careful anymoreâit was raw, urgent, hungry. Azriel bit her lower lip, and she moaned as he slid his tongue against hers. A sharp wave of desire hit her when she felt his hardness pressed to her stomach.
His lips trailed down her jaw, to her neck. He sucked gently where her neck met her shoulder. Marking. Claiming. A low, satisfied growl rumbled through him as he pulled back to admire the marks blooming there.
âAzâ He answered in a vibrating hum, marvelling at his work
âI didnât come here expecting anythingâ He mumbled âI just needed you to know the truth. All of itâ
Lilithâs hand slowly slid up his back, fingers brushing the base of his wing. Azriel shuddered, actually shudderedâand his grip tightened on her hip, as if he fought the urge to pull her impossibly closer.
âWill you stay?â She whispered
He let a out a low growl âIf I stayâ Azriel said hoarsely âI donât trust myself not to-â
And thenâThe lights in her room flickered. Then dimmed. Then blushed into the faintest rose-gold glow.
Azriel froze âDid the House just-â Lilith covered her face with a mortified groan
The House made a soft chiming sound. Teasing. Approving.
Azriel shook with silent laughter, forehead falling to her shoulder âIt likes youâ Lilith muttered.
âItâs going to be unbearable tomorrowâ He murmured.
âOnly tomorrow?â She shot back, arching a brow
He brushed a thumb along her jaw, gaze softening âEvery dayâ
For a long moment, they simply stood there, holding onto one another while the House hummed in the background. Finally, Azriel exhaled âI should let you sleepâ He said, though his fingers traced slow circles over Lilithâs hip, reluctant to leave.
She smiled, heart full and unsteady âGoodnight, Azâ
His eyes flicked to her lips, then back to her eyes âGoodnight, Angelâ
They walked towards the door, he lingered a heartbeat longer, as he shut the door behind him.
Lilith leaned against the doorway, breathless. Sleep would not come easily tonight. Not after him.
đ©đȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©đȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©đȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©đȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©đȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©đȘ đ©âĄđȘ đ©âĄđȘ
Note: Sorry it took me so long, I hope yyou guys enjoyed this. I loved writing the house teasing Az and Lily, and the part where she gets drunk.
And i know the dream is a lil steamy, as a smut lover, i wanted to add more towards the end. But it just felt wrong.
My Taglist <3: @the-onlyy-angie @lreadsstuff @xadenswhore @willowpains @secretsicanthideanymore @a-chegwidden @tele86 @i-am-infinite @booksbypisces @anon1227 @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @sophieliz @nebarious @whore-of-many-hot-men @art1012 @plants-w0rld @bruuuuuuuuuuuuh @mitziix @annamariereads16 @illustrioussanctuarystatue @goldenlove1665 @madeofeverythingjuice @regulusblackstar @wickedpyro @littleemissperfecttt @nikfigueiredo @celestialgilb @thelady-of-dragonfire @ogscoobydoobysnacks @namelesssav @smashee0789 @littowl @watermelomsuger @trippiehippieashley @aurora-maria
đđ”đž My Daughter Was Born Under Bombs â I'm Just Trying to Keep Her Alive
My name is Abdulmajid.
I got married one month before the war. Those were beautiful days â full of hope, love, and simple dreams. I dreamed of a small home, a quiet family, and a baby girl I could hold without fear.
But the war came⊠Suddenly. Brutally.
My mother was killed. My brother was killed. Children in my family were taken by the bombs. My home was destroyed. And my work stopped completely.
Then⊠in the middle of this nightmare, my baby girl was born. A tiny soul, innocent, unaware of the war. She cries from hunger, from cold, from the sounds of bombs shaking whatâs left of our walls.
Today, Iâm a father with almost nothing⊠Fighting every day to find flour, milk, or even a small meal to feed my child.
Prices are sky-high â a single 25kg bag of flour can cost $800. There is no work. No income. No safety. No stability.
I write this from under siege, hoping my heart will reach yours.
My name is Abedmajed Elderawi, and I live in Gaza with what remains of my once large and loving family.
Even $1 can make a difference. It can feed a child, buy milk, or bring a moment of peace. Be the heart that reaches Gaza. Be the hand that saves.
đ Please share this post. Let our voices be heard â not buried under rubble.
Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #537 )â ïž

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Court of Calm Chaos - Chapter 5
Warning: Few spoilers to ACOWAR
Authors' Note: Hi guys, the 5th part is finally here. Gosh, I think I changed the ending to this like six times. And tbh I'm not sure about this as well. It's going to be confusing if you haven't read ACOWAR.
I hope you all enjoy. Comments are open.
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
Lilithâs mind was in a complete MESS. After the stunt Amren had pulled out, after everything, her mind didnât process.
Lilith sat in an office at the House of Wind, although everyone wanted to discuss it in the living room, Lilith was not having it; she had basically kicked everyone out and even asked the shadows to leave. Rhysand told Feyre had to remain, if not as Lilithâs sister then as the High Lady. Feyre had given her mate and Amren an earful about the stunt they pulled.
âI was thinking about the time you came to my apartmentâ Lilith's mind went to that one time she practised with Amren âI came to Rhysand whenâ She paused, thinking of words âWhen I had a doubtâ
âThe way to confirm was if the Book of Breathings called to you,â Amren said as Lilith stiffened
Feyre spoke up, âThat cursed book spoke to me as wellâ - âAnd to Rhysâ - âAnd anyone, reallyâ Her fury was noticeable in her tone.
Amren gave a knowing look. âExactly, My Ladyâ, she said, âBut the book called to her.â Amren looked towards Lilith, and Lilith looked right back.
There was a silence in the room. Lilithâs mind went to a thousand places, but landed on the first time in the cauldron, the female voice she heard.
âNot all face death smilingâ âLet me grant you this, because itâs not your timeâ
Rhysand cleared his throat âThe time you were in the cauldronâ, he paused, hesitating âCan you tell anything about it?â he asked, not demanded.
Maybe it was the way the High Lord asked, Lilith knew Rhysand could simply look in her mind without her knowing, but he had asked. Lilith looked at Feyre, her motherâs eyes meeting herâs, she took in a deep breath. âAmren might be rightâ Lilithâs voice was more stable than she thought âI did hear a femaleâs voiceâ
Rhysand cleared his throat, âThere are legends, not written but whisperedâ - âThousands of years agoâ - âThere were warriors, rumoured to be a direct distant of Godsâ Lilithâs brows furrowed, she read that the Gods left this place, travelled to different realms, but âSome lingered for a while, until there was only oneâ Rhysand said
Amren cleared her throat âThey were powerfulâ - âToo powerfulâ Feyre shifted âLegends say their powers were anything they wished forâ Lilith's eyes went wide.
Amren shook her head âThe oldest fae know how to distinguish in powersâ - âYouâ she paused, looking at Lilith âAre blessed, yes, but what the caldron transformed it intoâ - âWell, thatâs yet to be knownâ Feyre let out a long sigh.
There was a pause; Lilithâs mind raced through different possibilities. Amren had told her before that she needed a proper setup; resolve settled upon her. Lilith narrowed her eyes at Amren, knowing the point she was trying to make.
She looked at Rhysand and back to Amren, âAre there any wards of protection against magic from within?â Lilith knew about the wards that the houses were warded with protection, but that was if intruders attacked from outside.
Feyre held Lilith's hand âYou donât have toâ Lilith shook her head âDid you run away? When you knew you could help re-re?â Lilith asked calmly, looking at her sister, âDid you not practice your powers?â Feyre was at a loss for words
âAre you sure you want to practice? You can continue your research first,â Rhysand spoke up.
Amren tised âShe needs practice, boyâ She bore her eyes to the High Lord âJust like you didâ Rhysand stiffened in his seat.
Lilith got up, âTell me when and whereâ - âIâll be readyâ And then took her leave.
Lilith entered her room and was barely able to close the door as her legs gave out. She sat on the floor. It was too much; tears began flowing. One day, she wanted a day to process everything that had happened before, but now that seemed impossible; her breathing became short and rapid. Her mind was repeating everything, every nightmare, flashes of every negative thing. And by the Gods, were there many things.
Her promise to her mother. Her familyâs poverty. Her motherâs treatment towards her. Her sisters. Feyre is being taken away. The pain from the treatments. Knowing she would die. The cauldron. Her nightmares about the cauldron.
The survival mode she lived in as a human. And somehow, realising that even now she was surviving, at least to some level. She silently cried through everything, every time she pretended to be calm and strong, because thatâs what people expected from Lilith.
As if the house knew, the doors to her balcony opened, and Lilith gathered herself, walking towards the balcony, cool wind hitting her face. She stood near the railing, taking in the view of the starry sky and the crescent moon.
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
He didnât know if she wanted company, but she hadnât eaten anything. He knocked on the door, and he heard a distant sound come in.
Cassian opened the door to see Lilith standing on the balcony. He placed the food on the table âThought you would like someone to be hereâ - âI know you would rather prefer Mor or Feyreâ
Lilith huffed and shook her head, âNo, Cass, itâs nothing like thatâ She finally faced the general âThank youâ She said with a small smile.
Cassian looked at her puffy face and swollen eyes and knew she had been crying âDo you want to talk about it?â He sat on the chair
Lilith sat beside him, grabbing the plate âThe situation is similar to what you told me at breakfast that dayâ Lilith played with the potatoes.
Cassian looked at her âLil, you know anybody here will be ready to hear you outâ Lilith thought about the shadowsinger, his offer that night, as she nodded. They sat there is silence for a while, Lilith eating slowly.
Cassian let out a sigh, âI canât be in that much silenceâ - âThatâs more for Azrielâ he swore. He saw Lilithâs cheeks flushed even at the mention of his name.
Cassian noticed a shadow that circled Lilithâs wrist, and smirked, âYou know,â he drawled âThe shadows had never disobeyed himâ he said teasingly.
Lilith looked at him âWell, they do nowâ Lilith said, brows furrowing. She added, âWhy do you think itâs like that?â Cassian didnât expect that question
âUmm, well, Iâm not sure eitherâ He stumbled on his words. Lilith narrowed her eyes âLiarâ she declared dryly.
Cassian dramatically placed a hand on his chest, âOwâ - âLil, that hurtâ Lily chuckled, Cassian looked a her in surprise. This was the first time she had laughed, well, at least in front of him.
He patted himself on the back, âWell, well, Iâm proud of myselfâ - âYou laughedâ Lilith smiled at him, shaking her head. Maybe Lilith needed this distraction âYou are a great brotherâ Lilith said without thinking, her eyes went wide as she snapped her head down.
Cassian's eyes softened as he smiled at Lilith, âAlways Lilâ, he stood up, ruffled her hair âAnd thatâs what brothers doâ he said while walking towards the door âFinish your plate, and then sleepâ and then added, âGoodnight Lilâ
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
Standing in the training ground, half of it bordered with ruins to protect from any mishap, Lilith glared at Amren. There was a shift, a tilt within her, when Amren said the power was wasted on Lilith; glowing light formed in her peripherals, and Lilith felt a tingling sensation in her hands. She wasnât blinded with rage or overwhelmed by emotions; no, Lilith just was. She looked at her hands, silver strings, lined with blue. Lilithâs instincts took over as she raised her hands, the currents dancing along her fingers, and then aimed for Amren.
They were panting; the magic had lessened, she could feel it âWhat happened?â Lilith asked, after that first aim, Amren had gone down, as if the ground underneath pulled her. She had gotten up and attacked, but Lilith had either dodged her moves or something pulled away at Amrenâs aim. Amren walked over to Lilith, removing her jacket and the dagger and placing them on the ground.
Lilith's eyes widen, looking at the female, grinning. Amren shook her head âDonât be surprised, you did wellâ Her eyes went down and back to Lilith as she gave a knowing look. Lilith's gaze finally went down. A gasp came out of her as her hands flew to her mouth. There, lying on the ground, were two bent daggers, and the jacket that was crafted with silver, at the waist and shoulders, now all bent in the wrong way.
There was a pause, âI-Iâ Lilith began, not able to digest the situation âCan bend metal?â Lilith couldnât believe what she was saying or even seeing. Amren chuckled, âNo, youngest oneâ - âYou can will itâ she said, as she gave a sly smile.
âI donât understandâ Lilith said, âIf my powers, as per you, is to control metal?â - âHow was I able to do what I did when I had the outbursts?â Lilith remembered the soldiers flying away in Hybern, the lights flickering, the objects rattling.
Rhysand looked at Amren. Amren had demanded that he come to the House of Wind; âThis power was differentâ Amren said, âIt was more subtleâ Lilith raised an eyebrow. âCan you show me?â Rhysand asked. Lilith looked towards the ruins, still protecting everything else. Lilith nodded
Rhysandâs gaze went to the bent sword. After a long pause, âIt was differentâ Rhysand spoke âYour power, what I felt now, was very mutedâ - âNothing like beforeâ Lilithâs head snapped to her Brother-in-law.
He cleared his throat, âWhen Feyre began practising her magicâ - âShe was able to concentrate on the little thingsâ - âMaking a twig burn, creating small water creatures, that sort of thingâ he paused âDeep down, your magic feels comfortable with metalsâ - âSoâ he gave a pointed look on the ground.
Lilith took a deep breath, adding this information to the pile of what she had to accept.
đ©àŒșâ§àŒ»đȘ
The next couple of days passed in a blur, as Lilith trained with Mor and Amren, testing Lilithâs powers on steel, gold and whatnot, but there was no sign of that power she felt within her. Nevertheless, today, Mor was well in a âmoodâ
Lilith panted for air âWhat's wrong?â She stumbled for balance on the ground, lowering her dagger. They were training in close combat fighting with weapons.
Mor scowled, âItâs nothing reallyâ Lilith raised a brow; she knew Mor well enough by now and vice versa; the friendship between them grew day by day. Mor was the only one who was able to understand that Lilith was on the edge of shutting down, despite to calm act.
Mor let out a sigh âItâs about this meeting, andâ she paused âI was meant to ask you something, a long time agoâ Lilithâs brows furrowed in confusion âRhysand asked me to ask you if you want to get involved in the politicsâ - âBut you already went through so much thatâ Mor spoke.
âYesâ Lilithâs answer was firm âI appreciate your concern, Mor, I really doâ Indeed, Lilith understood why Mor kept it hidden from her.
âI know too much is going on, but Iâd like to be involvedâ Lilith sheathed her dagger, looking towards the sky. They were alone, nobody else to hear, she could tell this âThis place feels like home than any otherâ Lilith said in a whisper.
She looked at Mor studying her. Lilith knew other things were going through her mind. She placed a hand on her shoulder âThe other things you can tell me when you're readyâ Lilith gave a small smile âBut I have to show you somethingâ Morâs brows furrowed.
Lilith took her dagger and summoned her magic. Her hands glowed as the dagger flew up, and it hit the target board several feet from them, without bending. Lilith grinned at Mor âThere is more, but I donât want to destroy any weaponsâ
Mor gaped at Lilith, half surprised that she was grinning, half surprised by the pace of her control. Mor held Lilith by the shoulders âYou are controlling itâ Mor smiled âWhen, how?â
Lilith bit her tongue âSometimes at night when I canât sleep, I come to practice hereâ When Rhysand tried to explain to Lilith about her magic, she had not gone to her sister, but instead came to Mor. She told her what it could mean, how, in the beginning, magic guides the user. Lilith had shown her by bending a shovel in the garden. Mor, it seemed, wasnât impressed; she had given Lilith a lecture on aim and control.
âYour power can be used in the warâ Mor said. Lilith's smile faded. She had thought about it, but how would she distinguish between the enemy and friend? And right now, she was able to control it in small spaces, but on a battlefield, she was not sure. Lilith still nodded, unsure of what was to come.
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Lilith entered the apartment with Cassian to see the Mor and Azriel already present. She gave a wave to Mor and Amren. Cassian had come for her in the morning, and he had updated Lilith on the situation of Lucien and Elain. Lilith had given him a vacant look. Itâs not that she didnât care about her sisters; she did, but she was tired of being the one always making the first move with Nesta and Elain. Lilith made up her mind, their apology first, then everything else.
She sat next to Mor, trying to avoid the gaze of a particular male sitting beside her on the opposite side. Mor got up âWhere do you keep your fancy wine, Amren?â She walked away, Lilith bore eyes in Morâs back. She turned her head and smirked.
Lilith stared at her hands. The shadows were already dancing around her. It had been a while since she had met the shadowsinger; he hadnât been around lately.
There was a shift âHeyâ Azriel's voice came. Lilith looked up to see him beside her. Something was different; there was a flowery smell mixed with his, which Lilith was oddly familiar with. Lilith took a deep breath; it smelled like sweet jasmine. Smelled like Elain. Lilithâs heart sank.
She forced a smile âHiâ She replied, her eyes losing the excitement every time she saw, heck, even heard his name.
She remembered how he was sitting next to her sister at dinner, the one time she attended. Lilithâs mind raced. Maybe they were together, maybe she had read things wrong, maybe- âHere you goâ, came Morâs voice as she handed out a glass to Lilith, she took it.
Cassian raised his brows, âDay drinking now, are we?â before Mor could say anything âItâs 5 pm somewhereâ, Lilith said dryly, needing this.
The door opened as Rhysand and Feyre walked in.
Lilith didnât say much as the group were discussing things, Mor telling Rhysand to kill the Autumn Courtâs High Lord, Beron and the whole family, allowing Lucien to take the throne. Indeed, Lilith was aware of what happened to Mor, how Eris didnât show any mercy. And what her own father did. Lilithâs blood boiled just thinking about it.
âIâm going to peel the Kingâs skin from his body the next time I see himâ Cassian said with determination. âNot if I beat you to itâ Lilith said, from beside Cassian. Her power hummed thinking of that rotten male. Everyone had told bits and pieces to her about Hybernâs âagendaâ, how they are, what they are like. Lilith took a sip of wine.
Rhysand smirked, âI do believe you twoâ - âTrulyâ Lilith narrowed her eyes âBut we have a war to plan firstâ - âRevenge, unfortunately, has to be secondaryâ
Rhysand looked at Amren, âAnything from the book?â as if it knew, âHello, princesses, the two-faced liar, the one to yieldâ âOh, be quiteâ â âShut the fuck upâ Amren and Lilith said in unison. Lilith and Amren looked at each other. Amren smirked at Lilith. Lilith blamed the wine that loosened her tongue
Mor laughed, âI think this is the first time I heard her curse besides trainingâ Lilith looked at Feyre, who gaped at her. Lilith smiled at her and shook her head.
âI can do thatâ Lilith said when the topic of mending the wall came up. She knew Nesta and Elain wouldnât help âNoâ Came Azrielâs voice from behind her.
Lilith turned her head to the male âI wasnât asking,â She said in a deathly calm voice. Lilith was angry with Aziel; he was the first to say no to anything she wanted to help with.
Rhysand cleared his throat, âLilith, your powers are needed else whereâ - âAnd besides, the invitation to the High Lords will be out by tomorrow, youâll be much needed thereâ Lilith broke the contact from the spymaster and looked at Rhysand, the disappointment clear on her face, but she nodded anyway.
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Rhysand flew Lilith to the House of Wind. He was still feeling off about what happened at Amrenâs apartment with him and Feyre; he was hurt by it, yes, he glanced at Lilith, who had a similar expression, thanks to Azriel. They landed on the balcony, and Lilith took off immediately, saying a small thank you. He wanted to ask Lilith to join them for dinner, but Lilith was clear about her boundary when it came to Nesta and Elain.
âLilyâ, Rhysand called out, conjuring a box from thin air âHereâ Lilithâs brows furrowed âItâs not from meâ It was given to him when Lilith asked Rhysand to fly her to the house. âI should get goingâ With that, he took off.
A few shadows had followed her home like usual. She felt oddly comforted that at least they were here to give her company. Yes, Rhysand and Feyre were living in the Town House, but Lilith thought, shaking her head, she cleared her thoughts and headed to her room.
She had bathed, changed, and just wanted to sleep. When her room door opened, she went and closed it. Lying down on the bed, the house opened the door again, and she got up, stepping outside her door. A shadow pulled her to the dining table, where a plate of food sat. Lilith looked at the empty room, empty house really âI donât feel like eatingâ She said to the shadows and the House.
She looked at the box Rhysand had given her. Lilith opened the box to find tea in it and a note: âWhen sleep doesnât come easily, this tea will helpâ - âYours, Azrielâ Lilithâs heart skipped a beat at the way he signed the card. She didnât know why, but tears began rolling down her face, âYour master is a dumb Illyrianâ she said to the shadow near her wrist. Lilith sat at the table, looking at the gift.
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Azriel didnât feel like eating; his mind was divided between how to prepare for this war and how Lilith currently is. He thought Mor would have at least stayed with her; conversations were following around him.
âHey, donât blend into the shadowsâ He heard Cassian. Azriel couldnât care less.
A knock came through his shields âYes, Rhys?â
âI know you would rather be at the House of Windâ Rhysand said âEverybody came here - âShe is in that house aloneâ Aziel replied
A pause, Azriel knew with the widening of Feyreâs eyes, that his brother had told her the information, and Azriel cursed under his breath.
âJust, please stay here until this is over, â Rhysand said. Azriel growled mentally.
The discussion continued about visiting the Hewn City, Nesta, to Azrielâs surprise, agreed to come to Hewn City and to train with Amren.
Azriel cleared his throat, âI can teach you to flyâ - âItâs not going to be easyâ he looked outside the balcony door âItâs better to train in the House of Wind grounds, itâs much biggerâ Feyre nodded. Azriel looked at Cassian and swore he heard him say âSly bastardâ under his breath.
Azriel put Lilith into her bed. He gently tugged the strands of hair back, âIâm so sorry, angel,â he whispered. He had flown as fast as possible. He had found her sitting at the dining table, asleep, the plate of food untouched. Azrielâs heart ached seeing Lilith like that. With a final look at his mate, he silently left the room.
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Nesta stood in the doorway, thinking about Amren's words. She had agreed to train, but only with her powers; she made it very clear to Cassian that she wouldnât be training with him. She saw that her sistersâ training. Feyre was always the wild one. But seeing Lilith, the sister who was the other side of the same coin as her.
Nesta knew she had crossed a line that day, and what followed it terrified her, not Lilithâs power but the anger within herâthe anger she had caused.
âLook who is hereâ - âCare to join?â Cassian said smugly, and Nesta ignored him, walking towards where Lilith and Mor were sparring. They didnât stop as she came; Lilith continued with her moves. Mor might have taken pity on Nesta, as she ended the training in the next two moves.
âI wish to speak with you,â Nesta directed the question to Lilith. Her sister glared at her as she walked back into the house.
Lilith didnât say anything, and Nesta also didnât; they just looked at each other for a while. Nesta took a deep breath, âI know I was out of line that nightâ, - âI shouldnât have said what I didâ
For that day, not for the treatment she went through from Nesta in the past. Lilith knew the words âsorryâ or âI was wrongâ didnât belong in Nestaâs dictionary, but for her, this was a close enough step.
Lilith's gaze softened just a bit âI heard you're practising your magicâ Nesta gave a cret nod âI told Rhys that Amren would be perfect for youâ
âDoesnât she train you as well?â Nesta questioned, Lilith shook her head, âIn the beginning, yesâ - âBut Mor took over nowâ There was silence again. Lilith wanted to ask about Elain, but thought better, âI should get goingâ With that, Lilith went back to the training field.
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Lilith was sitting in Morâs bedroom at House of Wind. She had updated them for the trip to Hewn City. Feyre had given Lilith the option to join or not; she had said yes. To Lilithâs surprise, Nesta had agreed to come.
Mor was taking out dress after dress, âIsnât there something else?â Lilith asked Mor, holding a dress that barely covered anything. âThere are roles everyone needs to playâ Mor said with a shrug. Feyre had explained how the act would be. It was simple, really, to just toy with the people, assure dominance, and to show the dangerous side.
âAnd what makes mee?â Lilith drawled, picking at a dress that just covered the private areas, lifting her brows. Mor half-chuckled, half snorted, âThatâs pretty. Want to try it?â Mor teased, and Lilith slapped her arm.
âYou can raid my closet for anythingâ - âI just liked theseâ Lilith raised a brow; she knew Morâs dressing style. There will be a time, Lilith knew, in a far, far future when Lilith would try them, but not now.
Lilith walked towards the dresses lined with endless gowns. âCanât I just wear my leathers?â - âGowns are just-â
âAbsolutely not!â Mor shouted
To Lilith, dresses were feminine, something she never got used to wearing; tunics and pants were comfortable for hunting, back in the day. She liked wearing the Illyrian leathers. Her thoughts were going on as she went through the dresses; her hand halted on a floor-length dress, a shimmiering blue so deep it was nearly black. The neck was high up, there were slits at the thighs, but enough fabric to cover if she stood. The lace fabric at the waist made the dress just scandalous enough.
âHow about this?â Lilith said, taking it out. Mor studied the dress, âA little too conservative for thisâ Lilith turned the dress to reveal the non-existent back, âOh, perfectâ Mor grinned âGo try it onâ
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Lilith cornered Lucien as he exited the room. Elain had come out, and Lilith was happy to see her sister. The food she taught Nuala and Cerridwen to prepare was helping a bit. Elain didnât look too thin. But her eyes, Lilith had never seen such hopelessness in them before
âLucien, am I correct?â Lilith let him see the power underneath, just like Nestaâs, but completely different
Lucien nodded, âYesâ - âYou must be Lilyâ - âLilithâ she corrected
Lilith glanced at Elain and then back at Lucien âI have something to tell youâ - âI donât know if others have pointed it outâ Lucien's eyes widened
âMy sister had lost everything, her life, a wedding to a person she lovedâ - âShe was robbed out of her lifeâ
Lucien put his head down âIâm aware of thatâ - âBut she is my ma-â
âThe first words, ' Lilith cut him off âThe words she heard after getting out of the cauldron - âWere about you claiming herâ Lilith felt the power hum within her âThink about thatâ With that, she felt
Lilith got dressed for the role, but she didnât know why she was frustrated. Mate. She had read about a mating bond, something that was so powerful, pure and blessed by the Mother. Lilith didnât know why the words kept repeating Come back to me, Iâll wait. She thought about how familiar Azielâs voice was, and the image of those hazel-green eyes popped up.
Lilith sighed, looking at the shadows dancing along her body. She stood in front of the mirror. Lilith blinked, not recognising the person in front; she looked beautiful, the dress highlighting every curve. A knock came from the door, as Mor walked in âLook at youâ she whistled. Lilith's face went red. Mor chuckled, âLet's get your makeup doneâ
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She felt a foreign power in her mind. Rhysand had told her this would happen. They were Daematis in the Court of Nightmares. She stood up as she slammed down another shield, trapping the power. Somewhere in the crowd, a man screamed. Lilith looked at Feyre sitting on the thrown, a proud expression on her face. Lilith gave a sly smile.
To say Lilith was in rage to see Eris at the Court of Nightmares was an understatement. She wanted to go with Mor wanted to be part of the conversation. But Rhysand had told her to save the tricks she planned to scare off Keir. And she did, the male was stupid enough to come close when she stood alone. Lilith had just side-smiled, with a hint of teeth, and let her power simmer to the top, an expression she usually saw on Amren. Keir had seen that and practically ran away with tail between his legs.
âYou look like you want to killâ, Cassian teased. Lilith shrugged; her eyes kept shifting to the throne room. After Keirâs foolishness, Cassian had come to stand with her.
Lilith calmly said, âCause I want toâ Indeed, this court was filled with two-faced liars. If she concentrated, Lilith was able to hear the whispers of them calling her and Nesta a witch or a monster. âLilâ - âWe, I get it, truly,â - âBut we need Keirâs forces to fightâ Cassian explained âAnd if that means smiling and accepting his demands, weâll have toâ Lilith waved a hand, dismissing this topic.
Her eyes went to the throne room again. Cassian smiled, âTheyâll be back soonâ Lilith sighed, âHope you are rightâ.
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It was chaos in the Town House. The trick Rhysand pulled was, Lilith didnât have words. She understood why he did such a thing, but she also understood Mor. The complicated relation she had with Keir and Eris. And to put Velaris, a place that was a sanctuary for Mor, Lilith shook her head. She looked at Mor. This was the second time she saw her cry, the first being when she opened up to Lilith. Lilith clasped Morâs hand in support of understanding.
Lilith glared at Feyre as she spoke about the mirror, the Ouroboros. Her sister hadnât told her anything about that, or about the prison. Rhysand had told her once during their study lessons about what the prison was, what lurked there. To think Amren was trapped there, and gave up almost everything to free herself, and yet be this powerful; goosebumps prickled over Lilithâs skin as she thought about the prison.
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Azriel flew Lilith to the House of Wind. He was glad to do so before he went to find out what the cauldron took from the Queens. He looked at Lilith, her gaze at the city beyond. Azriel had to fight every instinct, had to leash every shadow, to leave her alone in Hewn City. They had a part to play, and if people there knew, he didnât want to complete that thought.
He knows his position in the court has gained him many enemies. But he also knew that his mate was strong; he looked at Lilith, his eyes widened to see the utter happiness on her face. Lilithâs smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She had always loved flying, he remembered that.
They landed on the balcony âThank youâ Lilith said with a smile. Azriel walked Lilith inside,
Even if there was a war looming in the corner, even if tomorrow wasnât written, these movements, just two of them, were rare to come. Lilith looked at him âThe tea helpsâ her voice was soft.
âGlad to hearâ Azriel said, his eyes softening. Every part of him told to stay, he managed a step; Lilith's eyes went to the ground, mustering up the courage to tell âThank youâ She took an audible breath âFor putting me to bed that nightâ Her voice was a whisper; she was awake, the movement he lifted her, but pretended to be asleep. The words he said removed every doubt in her mind. But the situation well, it was not the time.
Azriel's eyes widen. He managed another step, he raised his hand, paused mid-way, but Lilith didnât move, as he tugged the strand of her hair back âPlease eatâ - âYou barely did in Hewnâ Lilith nodded.
Lilith swallowed, looking at him âBe carefulâ - âOn the missionâ Azriel gave her a small smile âI will beâ Something happened in Lilithâs chest to hear that low, silky voice. They just stood there for a few precious moments. She didnât know what took over her, as Lilith took Azrielâs hand in hers. She leaned forward when
A woosh sound came from the landing. Azriel looked towards the balcony âI should get goingâ Lilith blinked, the world coming back into existence. Her face went all the shades of red as they let go of each other's hands. Azriel looked at her; gone was the male who had been here seconds ago. In front of her was the spymaster, cold, calculating. But Lilith saw the way his eyes softened.
Azriel turned towards to balcony. He halted, turning his head âIâll come back soonâ With that, he left.
Lilith narrowed her eyes at the general, who was grinning ear to ear, âWhat?â She said, taking a slightly aggressive bite of the chicken. He had been looking at her smiling like that for quite some time.
âNothingâ Cassian drawled, âI think I should have stayed in the Town House a bit longerâ He teased.
Lilith felt her cheeks warm thinking about what happened before Cassian came âW-why?â She stumbled.
Cassian laughed and shook his head as he got up, âTraining 6 a.m.,â he said as he patted her head. Lilith sighed
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Lilith ran towards the Library, âFeyre!â âNesta!â She screamed. There was an attack ON Velaris. Hybern somehow managed to get inside the wards. Lilith saw Nesta on the 5th floor, panting
âFeyreâ - âShe went downâ Nesta said between pants. Lilith looked at Cassian, who gave her a curt nod as he turned towards the stairs
âThey are here for meâ Nesta paused. âFor all of us,â Lilith saw the silver lining in her eyes
Lilith held Nesta close âLetâs get out of hereâ
Lilith gaped at her eldest sister; she took something from the cauldron, snatched and grabbed whatever possible. Trying to claw her way out.
A gasp came out of her mouth, her mind going to what she heard Elain speak, âDeath and Will walk side by side againâ. But Lilith wasnât the will; her power was a drop in a vast ocean compared to what she read. Although Feyre had suspected Nestaâs powers were related to Death
âLily?â Feyreâs voice came,
âRe-reâ Lilith replied, âHow are you, truly?â, She touched the tattoo on Feyreâs arm, a bargain she had made a bargain with a death lord.
There was a pause. âIâm working a loophole from itâ - âWe cannot risk him being freeâ
We not I not them but We, Lilith's heart left warm at that âLetâs ask Amrenâ - âIf anyone will figure it out, itâs herâ
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Heart racing, she knocked on the door. Wide hazel eyes met hers. She held the dagger out, âThe shadows got it for meâ - âWhen the library incident happenedâ Lilith fumbled on her words. He was leaving today, and there was no guarantee when he would return.
As he opened the door fully, Lilith noticed he was armed to the teeth. Azrielâs eyes softened âKeep itâ he said, voice soft. Lilith's eyes widened âReally?â she questioned. Azriel nodded, tilting his mouth in a barely visible smile
Lilith smiled and mouthed a thank you, âLeaving soon?â Azriel nodded, âWas just about tooâ
Lilith opened her mouth and closed it, not knowing how to say that she would miss him, that she would be waiting for him. That she knew there was something, but what she didnât know. Azriel felt everything, saw the different questions on her face.
âI will be backâ He enunciated every word, the shadows danced between both of them
Lilith nodded, the tension slightly easing. They looked at each other for a few seconds before Azrielâs arms wrapped around her. Lilith forgot the outside world as the rich scent of him hit her.
âDonât get in troubleâ he whispered
Gossebumps rose on her body as she felt his breath. âDonât get hurtâ she whispered back. Azriel broke the hug and cleared his throat âI should leaveâ Lilith gave a slight nod
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They walked into the house, both chuckling. Lilith had a gleam in her eye
Rhysand took his mate's hands and scanned her face, then looked at his youngest sister, raising a brow, âShe wanted to sparâ Lilith shrugged âSo I knocked the High ladyâs assâ Ferye chuckled at that
He sighed. He knew this would happen if Mor trained Lilith. âThat she did,â Feyre said âI canât believe how strong youâve gotten, Liliyâ Feyre smiled at her sister.
They had eaten, Nesta sitting with them, letting her know she would also like to join in the High Lordâs meeting. Lilth was shocked to hear that, but glad that she was doing something.
The door opened and Amren walked in, looking grim âHybern has made its moveâ - âThey are attacking Adriata as we speakâ
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Note: Hii, so I hope you guys enjoyed it. I never thought it would turn into something like a slow-burning kinda thing. But it is, and there was a war scene before, but it was WAY off. And yes, I know Lilith's powers seem off right now, but it's a process I'm trying to build.
Did I wish there was a kiss, absolutely, did i think it was the time? No cause war's at their door, and the Spymaster can't be present
Please do let me know your thoughts
My Taglist <3: @the-onlyy-angie @lreadsstuff @xadenswhore @willowpains @secretsicanthideanymore @a-chegwidden @tele86 @i-am-infinite @booksbypisces @anon1227 @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @sophieliz @nebarious @whore-of-many-hot-men @art1012 @plants-w0rld @bruuuuuuuuuuuuh @mitziix @annamariereads16 @illustrioussanctuarystatue @goldenlove1665 @madeofeverythingjuice @regulusblackstar @wickedpyro @littleemissperfecttt @nikfigueiredo @celestialgilb @thelady-of-dragonfire @ogscoobydoobysnacks @namelesssav @smashee0789 @littowl @watermelomsuger @trippiehippieashley @aurora-maria
Updated parts: Chapter 6
Me: Okay, so we need a bridge between what happens and the High Lords' meeting in the third book
Brain: randomly coming up with middle of war scenes, or Lily and Azriel scenes, heck even what will happen 3 chapters from now.
Heart: MAKE THEM KISS
i have to say, i'm obsessed with your "A Court of Calm Chaos" fic, it's amazing i think i'm rereading for the 4th time
Thankuu so much, I'm literally crying tears of joy. You have no idea how much I wanted to hear this. Thanku for making my day
Court of Calm Chaos - Chapter 4
Summary: Lilith Archeron is the youngest sister, the smart one. The one who with Feyre kept her family going.
Feyre finally arrived back in Velaris. Lilith starts to accept a few things, but life doesn't wait for another to pile up on top.
Warning: None? Multi POV I guess?
Authors' Note: Chapter 4 is finally here, guys. Thank you so much for your support. Sorry it took me this long, I started a new job, and it's been hectic. This one is smaller than the other's I kept thinking if i want to add more towards the end but it felt right ending it there. The next couple of chapters are going to be more towards canon, i.e ACOWAR
Any comments are welcome, please the feedback helps.
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Lilithâs mind was a mess. High Lady, her sister was the High Lady. They had arrived a few minutes ago, Lilith had seen the blood on her hands and scanned Feyre for any injuries. âItâs not my blood, Lilyâ Feyre had told. Her eyes assessed the red-headed male, whom Lilith remembered from Hybern, the one who betrayed them. Lucienâs golden eye narrowed âYou are High Lady of the Night courtâ
âIndeed, she isâ Lilith snapped her head to where Rhysand stood, no wings, no leathers. Her eyes widen at the sight of Feyre sobbing on the floor. Shock paralysed Lilith; she rarely saw Feyre cry. She was about to move when Rhysand came by her side. Lilith sighed and shook her head
âGo find somewhere else to beâ Rhysand commanded, lifting Ferye in his arms. Lilith smiled, seeing them together. Feyreâs eyes locked with hers as she was halfway up the stairs. Lilith nodded to her sister. Later, they will talk about everything, but right now, Rhysand needed this time with her; Lilith understood that.
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Lilith looked at the view in wonder, Cassian and Mor with her, as she looked at the clear blue water of the Sidra. Amren had gone to the House of Wind, and Azriel took Lucien. Lilith wasnât sure if he would come back.
âLiliyâ Cassianâs voice came, Lilith looked towards him in question âDrink your tea before it gets coldâ Lilith looked at the table, and there it was; she didnât notice the waiter coming
She took the cup in her hand, the warmth inviting, âSorry I-â
âDonât apologiseâ Cassian said, âYou have not seen Velaris yetâ
Lilith looked at Mor, âWell, except the palace of Threads and Jewelsâ
âLiliy, I took you to two shopsâ - âJust twoâ Mor exclaimed. Lilith winsed
âShe has been busy trainingâ His voice came, and Lilith looked at him; her heart began racing
Azriel smiled, looking at Lilith, âHeyâ Lilith forgot how to speak, as she just waved her hand. He had come back; she was nearly sure he wouldnât, but he did
âWellâ Mor began âThere is a lot more you need to seeâ Lilithâs mind stopped working as the shadowsinger sat opposite her, her gaze going towards the Sidra
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Rhysand finally had his mate in his arms; finally, he felt whole again. He had longed to touch her again, to feel her. Feyre glowed like the brightest star. Although he would love to send eternity like this, in their bed, he knew they had to leave soon.
Feyre cupped his face, her eyes full of understanding, then nodded; it was time to leave. They dressed, âWhen we get thereâ Rhysand sighed, not knowing what to say âYouâll be meeting Nesta and Elain right nowâ Rhysand looked at Feyre, guilt in his eyes âLilyâ - âWonât be thereâ Feyre's brows furrowed. âItâs better if she tells youâ Rhysand said
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Lilith didnât want to be near this house again, not until Nesta and Elain left. But when Mor spoke about a Library, Lilith was more than ready to go. The library, Mor had said, was also a sacturary to priestesses they had recused, each, with their own past. Lilith noticed that when she saw the High priestess, Clotho, it pained her to know what happened to her. Clotho had given permission to Lilith to read any book she would like. So here she was, gaping at the rows and rows of books. Lilith had never seen so many in one place.
âYou can stay here as long as you likeâ Mor said. Lilith was still looking at the books âI think youâll start living hereâ
Lilith nodded, âThatâs very much possibleâ Her voice was small, still stunned by the knowledge in this place. Mor chuckled, waved her goodbye and left.
Lilith took a seat near the stairs. At first, she was dumbfounded, lost, not knowing where to start. Clotho had found her wandering in the aisles, with another priestess carrying a stack of books, and she handed Lilith a letter. âThe High Lord asked me to keep a few books aside; Iâm guessing it was for you. I have added different books as well, for better understanding. Read them in orderâ. Lilith wanted to hug her, but she smiled and gave her thanks.
Lilith was on the 4th book, the first three containing information she was already aware of, but she read them anyway. It was weird for her. Lilith read all the things about High Fae and magic, but applying the information to herself was difficult. She took a deep breath, as she looked at the book, âThe Blessed Bondsâ Lilith murmured, she didnât know why, but her hand trembled lightly while opening the book.
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Azriel was standing at the corner, all of his shadows were with him. A few went to her, but came but, Down in the Library, Safe, Reading, We will not disturb his shadows had whispered. Sometimes, he thought his shadows were more attached to Lilith than to him. Azriel had not seen any female who he was interested in, who did not stare at his hands or flinch from his shadows, but her. Mine, the primal part of him thought; he shook his head, concentrating on the current conversation going on.
âShe leftâ Elain said in a small voice. Nesta and Feyre looked at her. Feyre just asked Nesta why Lilith wasnât here. Instead of telling the truth, Nesta decided to be quiet.
âBut why?â Feyre asked, looking towards Nesta, who just skipped the question and said, âThat male is not getting near Elainâ They were speaking about Lucien. Azriel guessed, he mostly zoned out during half the conversation
It was Cassian who said, âThat decision is not up to youâ He looked at Elain and then Feyre
Azriel understood the situation the autumn male was in, staying away from his mate and unable to spend time with them, and the pain it caused. He cleared his throat âIt will be best if he gets to see her onceâ All eyes were on him, but he met Nestaâs icy glare. He didnât recoil from the power beneath them. He glanced at his brothers, who looked at him in understanding; Feyre gave him a look which was half confused, half thankful. Mor, on the other hand, gave him a knowing smile
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Things were discussed, and a few of them were sorted. Feyre sighed and looked at her mate. It was almost dinner time, and Feyre wanted Lilith to be there. Rhysand had just mentioned that Lilith was handling things much better than Nesta and Elain, even training with Mor and trying to figure out her powers.
âI am going to the libraryâ - âIâll try to convince Lilyâ Feyre said in Rhysandâs mind
âDonât be surprised if she doesn't comeâ Rhysand answered cautiously
Feyre was not aware of what was going on, and it didnât seem right. She asked Rhysand about Lilith, and all he said was that itâs better if she told me herself. She was walking towards the library, Clotho greeting her with a bow, Feyre stopped her
âThat is unnecessary, Clothoâ she paused reading the text âYou are much like himâ Feyre smiled, remembering Rhysand doesnât like titles in Velaris
âDo you know where my sister is?â Feyre read the note âBy the table near the staircaseâ Feyre said her thanks and walked.
This was the first time Feyre saw Lilith after being made, so in odds with the other two. Lilith had packed some muscle, her hair was longer, and the power it radiated from her; she felt the same with Nesta, but Lilithâs was something else. Feyre didnât have words. Lilith, it seemed she was adjusting to this new life better; her magic called to Feyreâs.
âLilyâ Feyre whispered. Lilithâs head snapped as she smiled at her sister. Feyre was shocked to see the bruises under Lilithâs eyes. She got up and hugged Feyre âRe-reâ Lilith sobbed, smiling
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The tension at the dining table would not be cut even by a knife. Lilith had come, and Feyre somehow managed to convince her to join for dinner. Elain was shocked to see her. Lilith didnât even glance at the other sister, didnât even look at Nesta. It was a one-time thing; she will do it for Feyre, only for her. She noticed how Azriel sat beside Elain, shadows nowhere to be seen. He was with her when Lilith entered; it had hurt Lilith; she knew why, but this feeling shouldnât be there. Azriel was free to do what he liked.
Cassian had tried to cheer her up, but Lilith just shook her head. Lilith just looked down and was not bothered by the conversation going on.
She felt a brush on the wall in her mind. She allowed it in âIâm sorry that Feyre forced your handâ - âCurrently she is asking me why things are like thisâ Rhysand said, âI think it will be better if you tell herâ
âWhat, that they only think about themselves?â Her jaw clenched âIâm here for Feyre, I told her Iâll attend, I didnât tell her that Iâll be happyâ
Rhysand sighed, âYou need to tell her Lilyâ - âShe worriesâ Lilith took a deep breath, finished her meal and got up from the table.
Lilith was currently in her room, looking at the balcony. She had forgotten the beauty of this House, how her rooms overlooked the training ground, the high trees and sky; it was surreal to her. She poured another glass of wine; she had needed this liquid courage. The house it seemed to agree and had provided her it the fruity wine and some cheese, apparently it also knew she didnât eat properly. A knock came at the door, and Lilith walked towards the door to see Feyre and Rhysand there. She welcomed her sister and raised an eyebrow to the High Lord. Rhysand raised up his hands in defeat and left the sisters.
âDo you think he is still there?â Lilith said teasingly, remembering how the situation was similar to back when they came to their mansion in the Human Lands
Feyre chuckled, âWant a glass?â Lilith asked, glancing at the wine
Feyre shook her head, âNo, itâs alrightâ Lilith sat on the chair, looking at Feyre sitting on the bed, and gave her a small smile
âAre you going to tell me?â Feyre questioned seriously
Lilith grabbed the glass and chucked it, sighing. She told her sister everything, almost. She told her about the magic outburst. How she woke up, about Mor training her and Lilith trying to control her power. She spoke about the fight with Nesta, how her magic appeared then. Except for what happened in the cauldron and the feelings for the shadowsinger, which, for now, Lilith kept for herself. Feyre finally got the answers to Llithâs treatments.
âW-what?â Feyre asked, eyes widening in horror, âNot even once?â, and Lilith gave her a sad smile
âMadja says itâs getting betterâ Lilith gave a reassuring look. Lilith had gone to Madja just once; she didnât want to again; right now, she wanted to focus on training, body, mind and magic.
Feyre didnât smile; instead, she gave Lilith a solemn look, âI know you, Lilithâ - âThere is moreâ
Lilith winced at the use of her full name, âItâs nothing re-reâ She should have known better; they were things Lilith wasnât able to accept even to herself.
Feyre opened her mouth in protest, âI think your mate would like you backâ Lilith said, trying to dodge the questions she knew her sister would berate her with.
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Mor was worried about the war, about Lilith, and everything in between. Currently, she was trying to convince Azriel about telling Lilith without hinting at anything else
âPlease, Az - Think about itâ Mor said. She had only bought this topic after Nesta and Elain had left, and Feyre was with Lilith. Azriel just shook his head.
Mor scowled. She thought about how he was spending time with Elain âDo you not want her?â The question left her
Azriel glared at Mor, âItâs a blessing for me, Morâ he left things unsaid âWhat made you think that?â Mor glanced up to Elainâs room and looked back, raising her eyebrows
âThat is the cause of me, Iâm afraidâ Rhysand chimed in âSince Elain was opening to Azriel, I told him to stay with herâ Mor narrowed her eyes at her cousin
Cassian clasped Mor's shoulder âHe will tell when he is readyâ - âAnd if Lily kicks him in the balls for hiding it from her, then heâll be ready for that as wellâ Cassian grinned at Azriel
Azriel's shadows ruffled around him, knowing exactly that Mor will make sure of it.
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The cauldron laughed at her, âYou don't know how to use itâ it taunted her. She was trapped in the wast, nothing again, she tried everything. Tried to fall asleep, tried to wake herself up,
âEven after She allowed me to bestow this gift, you are not able to control itâ the caulron taunted.
She? Who is she? Lilith was suddenly drowning, her limbs were not working, and her breath caught. This was the end, she thought, this is how sheâll go
She jolted awake, covered in sweat. Lilith placed a hand to her chest, Iâm here, Iâm alive she thought. Lilith wasnât risking going back to sleep; she was moving the blanket when she noticed it, shadows all around her, around the edges of the bed, on her legs, even covering the other side of the bed.
She walked towards the living room, shadows following her. She saw the back of Azrielâs head, who was sitting in the armchair, the thought of the dream already fading as her heart rate kicked up. She came in front of him âCouldnât sleep?â She noticed the white knuckled grip Azriel had on the chair.
âTell me you are alrightâ Azriel's voice was hoarse. Lilith furrowed her brows, looking at Azriel. He looked in pain. She blinked as a shadow curled up to his ear, understanding dawned upon her, and her eyes widened.
Lilith didnât reply, walking towards the kitchen, she just took two steps when âLilithâ Azrielâs voice stopped her, she turned her head towards him. Lilith meant to say yes, to nod, but her body betrayed her as she shook her head. She turned, walking to the kitchen again, surprised that she had admitted the truth.
Azriel followed Lilith to the kitchen; he knew better, but he did it anyway. He needed answers, not just a nod or a shake of her head, proper answers. He stood leaning against the doorframe, watching her make a cup of coffee. She looked at him. Azriel was able to feel the rush of emotions through her open bond. He took a deep breath and said, âDo you want to talk about it?â Lilith shook her head, continuing her work. Azriel felt what she did when he called her by her name, a rush of emotion, foreign to both of them, âLilyâ She snapped her head to him; his eyes immediately softened.
She cleared her throat âI- I get bad dreamsâ she paused, as if rethinking her decision, but she said, âItâs mostly about the cauldronâ Lilith opened her mouth, then closed it again, not knowing how to explain.
Azriel moved, standing in front of her, the kitchen island in between them. Lilith froze âYou donât have to explainâ - âIâm familiar with nightmaresâ he looked at his hands, then gave a sad smile to Lilith. She took an audible breath, understanding, anger and an emotion he couldnât place reached him
âTell me when you're readyâ Azriel said, then quickly added, âIf you want to, that isâ Lilith smiled at him and said a small âOkayâ.
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Lilith reached the training ground at dawn, the conversation with Azriel still running in her mind. She was surprised to see Cassian there âMorningâ He didnât look the usual, jolly general Lilith had known. Today, Cassian was serious, no smile to be seen, as if a million things were going through his mind.
âYour training with me todayâ He declared. It was not a surprise; Mor had a lot on her plate. She told Lilith a few days ago that Cassian might be taking over. Lilith nodded and started doing the warm-up exercises.
Lilith dodged her head to the left and, in a blink, spun right. Metal clacked as their swords met. Cassian smirked. He moved, spinning and aiming left. Lilith dodged. She moved, swinging the sword as if she had practised for years. In a way, she had, the times when she used to hunt, it was somewhat like this, going back and forth, predator and prey. The curves while carving an animal were similar to how to use a dagger. Lilith was lost in these thoughts as muscle memory and instinct took over. It wasnât Cassian attacking; it was another hunter, trying to steal their food. It wasnât training, it was survival. The snowy mountains and two young girls fighting, with hunters who had stolen their deer. Lilith was barely 10 years old; the men taunted them that they did not need a whole deer to feed themselves. Lilith tried to fight them, but she was so weak. They went home with one small rabbit that day for a family of five.
She felt the air shift from left and lifted the sword, and a hand on her shoulder, âLilyâ Cassian said, worry lining his tone
Lilith blinked, gone was the memory, she looked at Cassian, âLily, are you alright?â Cassian asked
Lilith furrowed her brows and nodded, âYour eyes are glowingâ, Cassian said as he got his right hand up. Shock rippled through Lilith, âHow?â She asked, studying Cassianâs bloody arm, she looked at her sword, which was covered in blood âCass, Iâm so sorryâ Lilithâs voice was trembling
Cassian grinned, âDonât worryâ - âI have had worseâ he paused âAre you alright?â
Lilith nodded, âAre you sure?â Cassian asked again, Lilith gave a small smile, âYesâ - âH- how?â Lilith questioned
Cassian sighed, âYouâ he paused, âFirst Iâd like to just say that there is nothing wrongâ âThat you did nothing wrongâ he paused âWe were training normally and I felt the shift in you, like your mind was somewhere else, but your body kept movingâ he paused âYour eyes started to radiate this lightâ - âBut nothing elseâ Llith sighed, giving an apologetic look to Cassian, who just smiled and said âLets get me badanged upâ
They sat at the table, Lilithâs face reflecting guilt, as she ate her oatmeal. Cassian cleared up his throat âYou know you were good todayâ Lilith looked at him âEven if I almost cut your hand off?â
Cassian snorted, âYou barbely kicked me, Lilâ Lilith blinked at the name âDo you want to talk about it?â Lilith knew what he meant, what got her ramped up. She sighed, âJust a memory while me and Feyre used to huntâ - âI want to forget all that, but-â Lilith stared at her plate, wondering why the memories of her old life were coming to her randomly in flashes
âYou know how Rhys, Az and I became friends right? Cassian said, as Lilith nodded, âWell even after Rhysâs mother took me in, I used to get memoriesâ Cassian paused âSometimes Iâd think itâs all a joke, itâs all a dream, and Iâd end up on the camp streets againâ Cassian's eyes met Lilithâs in understanding âI was happy truly, but there was some part of me that didnât adjust to all of itâ - âTo have a roof above my head, hot food, and everything elseâ - âA part of mind mind still lived in those days where I had to fight for bare nessecitiesâ Lilithâs gaze went distant âBut it went byâ Cassian said âWhen I gave myslef to breathâ Lilith understood the point he wanted to make, and was thankful he didnât say it outright
She looked up at Cassian, âYou're a good male, Cassâ giving him a small smile âThank youâ Cassian grinned.
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Lilith sat upon the tallest tree. She came here after unpacking her things in her room, excited to stay at the House of Wind again. Earlier today, Rhysand told her that Nesta and Elain were going to shift to the Town House. Lilith smiled, looking at the sky; the starry night of Velaris never seemed to amaze her. It was the most beautiful thing, an image of Azriel taking her flying came to her mind. Lilith's heart thumped; she closed her eyes and tried to calm her heart. Tomorrow, she thought, she will think, no training, no research, just being. Maybe she can go out, to the rainbow, and see if there are any good book shops, but not for research. She will treat herself to something sweet, Lilith's imagination paused; she wanted to do all this, but with the friends she made here. Lilith canât ask them to just give them a full day at this time. Her eyes went to the starry night sky again.
âLiliyâ Morâs voice came, as Lilith walked into the living room, the female hugged her
Lilith smiled, âGood to see you back, Morâ Lilith looked at everybody seated in the living room; the whole inner circle was present
Lilith furrowed her eyebrows, walking in, âAm I interrupting something?â She saw, as Amren, unbound a book
âThisâ Thatâs all Lilith was able to hear before voices began coming in her head
âPower, Will, Come to me, Use me, Read me, Unleash it, It will happen soonâ. The voices jumbled in her ear; she couldnât make sense of them. There was a sudden shift. But the voice beckoned to her, called on to something inside her. The power within her, boiling, reaching towards that voice
A familiar rough hand held hers, âCan you hear me?â Azriel said âLiliyâ
There was a shift again, Lilith blinked âPut the book down, angelâ Azriel said, his voice was soft but full of worry
Lilith's senses came back; she was holding the book of breathings, and she didnât know how she got here when she held the book. She looked at the familiar hazel eyes, which were like an anchor. Lilith's gaze travelled to the rest of the room, each of them looked worried and terrified, but Amren smirked. With a trembling hand, she placed the book down, Azriel still holding her other hand.
Lilith swallowed âI-I donât knowâ Her voice was trembling âH-howâ
âIt called to youâ Amren said, âJust like I suspectedâ Lilith's head snapped to the female; those silver eyes glowed a little
âAmrenâ Feyre said as the High Lady âExplain - âWhy would you do that?â
Amren shook her head and just said, âI suspected itâ Lilith felt Azriel's hand tremble, and she held it tighter
âShe is blessed not just by the cauldronâ Amren paused, looked at Rhysand, who gave a cret nod âBut also by the Motherâ.
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Note: Hi guys, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you for your support. I know this one is shorter than the rest. But it was just sitting in my drafts for weeks, about 70% done. My mind wasn't able to come up with more scenes, so I just posted this.
My Taglist <3: @the-onlyy-angie @lreadsstuff @xadenswhore @willowpains @secretsicanthideanymore @a-chegwidden @tele86 @i-am-infinite @booksbypisces @anon1227 @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @sophieliz @nebarious @whore-of-many-hot-men @art1012 @plants-w0rld @bruuuuuuuuuuuuh @mitziix @annamariereads16 @illustrioussanctuarystatue @goldenlove1665 @madeofeverythingjuice @regulusblackstar @wickedpyro @littleemissperfecttt @nikfigueiredo @celestialgilb @thelady-of-dragonfire @ogscoobydoobysnacks @namelesssav
Updated Parts: Chapter 5 Chapter 6
Court of Calm Chaos - Chapter 3
Summary: Lilith Archeron is the youngest sister, the smart one. The one who with Feyre kept her family going. What happened after Feyre left to Spring Court, and Lilith moved in the Town House
Warnings: bad words? A smidge of fluff (I really don't know how to do warnings, please someone help me out)
Author's Note: Sorry guys it took a long time, my laptop got damaged and I had to finish this from my phone. If there are spelling mistakes or anything I apologize. This is another chapter Lilith building relations
Any comments are welcome!
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2
She was swimming in the vast nothingness; there was no voice speaking to her, but there was laughter. As if the cauldron knew something, like it was planning events. She swam and swam, searching for the female sound she heard; there were times when she heard the voice. But there were times like this, when she didnât, caught in an endless loop. She had to wake up, had to get out of this nightmare. She halted, trying to fall asleep in the dream, it had worked for her before. Falling asleep in the dream made her awake in reality. So, Lilith tried to close her eyes, ignoring the slimy laughter.Â
Suddenly, she wasnât able to breathe; she didnât have any air, water filling her throat and mouth.
She jolted awake up gasping for air. Lilith looked at the dark room, the only light cast by the moon. She turned on the side lamp. She knew she wouldnât be able to go back to sleep, so she headed to the kitchen.
It was an hour before dawn, and Lilith was sitting on one of the chairs in the kitchen island, wide awake, sipping on a cup of coffee. She initially went to the living room, like most nights, but she saw the General sprawled on the sofa and took her leave. He has been living in the Town House for a while. His excuse was to help Lilith train, but she knew better; it was because of what happened with her sisters.Â
Lilith smiled, looking at the shadow circling her wrist; a few of them were always following her, they never seemed to leave her side. It was shocking to others at first, but Lilith didnât mind it; it always felt like Azriel was with her. Although they barely had time together, she missed the shadowsinger, with the injury he got at Hybern, sending his spyâs to notice Springâs movements and protecting Nesta and Elain. Azriel was well, too busy; Lilith didnât know if the shadows that followed her came at their own will, or if he sent them. She bit her lip, wondering why she felt comforted if he had sent them.Â
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Mor was late. Rhysand had told Lilith that she was in Hewn City, the Court of Nightmares, Rhysand had called it. Lilith understood the politics of Night Court; she didnât understand the why behind it.Â
She finished her stretches and began a few exercises that Mor had taught her. From her peripheral vision, she noticed a winged male, but her target was the dummy in front of her. She went with the combinations 1-2-2-1-2-1.Â
âCreate an unpredictable rhythmâ Mor had saidÂ
Lilith punched again 2-1-2-2-1 and then 1-2-2-1-1
âYour right punches are weakâ She halted and whipped her head to see Cassian
Panting, she said, âI knowâ - âI need to work on thatâ Lilith faced the dummyÂ
Cassian walked towards the benches and grabbed something âThe dummy wonât know the differenceâ He stood before Lilith, wearing two pads over his hands. Lilith noddedÂ
Standing before the General, Lilith took her stance, she began 2-1-2-2-1
âThereâ Cassian halted her âWhen you throw the punches with your right, you're still distributing your weight as if itâs a left punchâ - âWatch meâ He said, giving Lilith the padsÂ
âThis is what you are doingâ Cassian said while demonstrating a 2-1-2-2-1 comboÂ
âNow hold steady and look at my legsâ Cassian went for a 2-1-2-2-1 combination again, but this time his legs and thighs kept bending when he punched from his right âDo you get it?âÂ
Lilith nodded, gave the pads to Cassian, and took a fighting stance againÂ
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She was alone in the house, Cassian going off to Illyria with Rhysand and Mor still stuck in Hewn City. Lilith was bored; the shadows kept her company, though, one of them tucked at Lilithâs shirt, she furrowed her brows. It guided Lilith to the other side of the house, and there in the corner facing the window, was a beautiful grand piano. Lilith took an audible breath.Â
Nobody was in the house, the shadows wonât tell anyone if Lilith asks them not too. Pressing her lips together, she scanned the area one more time, double-checking if she was alone.Â
She sat down on the bench, her hands settling on the keys as a reflex. She paused, thinking about it for a minute, and started playing. The melody started off sad, as Lilith thought about the cauldron, about the dangers that were still unknown, the war, the bitter truth that she was not ready to fight physically yet. It started becoming haunting when she thought of the things she told Nesta, things Nesta told her, her powers lashing out. Lilith wished, Gods, did she wish to have some amount of control over her magic. She noticed the shadows slowly twirling all around. She closed her eyes, a tear falling from her cheek, as she thought of Azriel, imagining his hazel eyes. Why was his voice so familiar to her, like she knew it from somewhere? Why canât she place it? The melody turned a little calmer as she thanked the Mother for the second chance in life, the possibility of a long life and not a painful short one. She opened her watery eyes with a small smile.Â
And for the first time since she was a little child, Lilith felt like singing. She paused, recalling the songs. As a voice came from far endÂ
âLily?â Mor shouted âLilyâÂ
Lilithâs cheeks flushed, she entered the nearest room, her heart rate increasing, and she looked around to find, Lilith blinked, seeing the rows of books. She didnât know if she should be here, but there were so many books. She went and grabbed oneÂ
âHistory of Gods and Magicâ Lilith murmured, looking at the titleÂ
The door flew open âI knew you would find this placeâ Mor declaredÂ
Lilith gave a sheepish smile âWhat is that?â Mor asked, standing next to LilithÂ
âAH! These are Rhysand's study materials when we were still getting groomed, and not the High Lord,â Mor said, Lilith raised up her browsÂ
Her voice was small âDo you think I can read these?â Lilith askedÂ
âI donât see why notâ Mor replied âBut not now, please, food in Hewn is barely edibleâ âJoin me?â Mor asked, Lilith shook, smiling, and then noddedÂ
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Cassian had found her in the old study, sitting on the floor, surrounded by books. The request to read them had come by when he and Rhysand were in Illyria, and his brother did give her permission to read all the books she wished. Lilith was doing exactly that.
He knocked on the open door once again, but she didnât reply, still had her head buried in the bookÂ
âLiliyâ he entered âTake a breakâ She finally looked up, purple and blue under her eyes, but she gave a small smile, and shook her headÂ
âJust a few pages leftâ She said, waving the book.Â
Cassian sighed as she started reading again.Â
Azriel had come to the Town House, eager to meet her. They were all gathered for dinner. He had been staying in the House of Wind for so long, but the place didnât feel right without her there. But Cassian had just told himÂ
âShe has buried herself in booksâÂ
It felt like a small eternity since he hadnât seen Lilith; his shadows that stayed with Lilith didnât whisper anything. So he walked to the other side of the house.Â
Lilith's brows furrowed at the context; she had finished reading the book. Realms? Gods blessing on each court? She picked up another book. A knock came from the door, and all the shadows rushed towards it, which was new. She replied with a come in, and buried her head in yet another book.Â
Cedar and night-chilled breeze hit her, as the door opened, she knew that scent very well. Lilith didnât look up, as her heart poundedÂ
âHeyâ Azriel began âJoin us for dinner?âÂ
Lilith turned to see the window. Was it already dinner time? She swore that she had finished her morning training an hour ago.Â
Azriel looked at her, with tousled hair, dark circles under her eyes,by the cauldron, she looked exhausted. She got up, and was about to trip when his hand caught her by the waist, he didnât realize when he moved. They just stood there looking in each other's eyes, Lilithâs lips parted. He didnât know what overcame him when he said, âI missed youâ He swore that he could see a sparkle in Lilithâs eyes.Â
She let go and nodded, âDinnerâ Her eyes were still locked on his. âDinnerâ He repliedÂ
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They were sitting in the living room. Lilith wanted to go back to the study room, but selfishly, a part of her wanted to stay because of Azriel. The dinner went by fine; by all the possibilities, she ended up sitting opposite him, again. Lilith had slowly began to figure out the feelings and well it was the truth that she liked Azriel, not in the way she did Mor or Cassian but in the way that her eyes sought his
âI hear you have buried yourself in books, youngest oneâ Amren said, sitting beside Lilith âFind anything?âÂ
Lilith looked at Amren âNot muchâ she paused âYetâ Lilith was curious about why Amren called her âyoungestâ or âyoungest oneâ, she had a name.Â
Rhysand spoke up âWell, I think you have searched enough for todayâÂ
âHereâ she saw Mor handing out a wine glass to her, Lilith raised a brow in question, and Mor chuckledÂ
She took the glass and sniffed the contents. The scent was sweet, and Lilith took a sip. She blinked in surprise, liking the flavour. She had wine before, in her previous life, but it wasnât like this; it was sour and bitter at the same time. She took another sipÂ
âGo easyâ - âFairy wines are quite strongâ Mor warned, while Lilith gave a small smile, looked Mor directly in the eye and took another sipÂ
Amren huffed, âWell, they do say the youngest are rebelsâÂ
Lilith looked at her and said, âWhy?â Amren raised a brow âWhy do you call me the youngest one?â Lilith asked calmly, but also curiously.Â
âArenât you the youngest?â Amren shot back, from the corner of her eye, she noticed Azriel stiffenÂ
Lilith eyed Amren, and nodded, âThatâs trueâ She paused âAncient oneâÂ
The whole room, including Amren, burst into laughter. Lilith turned her head to where the shawdowsinger stood, and saw him chuckling under his breath.Â
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All three brothers sat in the office, needing this time together. They were discussing the war, each of them haunted by the previous one in their way.Â
Rhysand leaned back in chair âHow are Nesta and Elain?â he asked Azriel, to which he shruggedÂ
âWell, Elain is speaking a bitâ Azriel replied. Rhysand had asked him to look after the sisters, but especially Elain. Somehow, she was comfortable enough around Azriel to speak; most of her words were like riddles, though. Nesta, well, he didnât want to think about that situation.Â
He looked at Cassian âAre you planning on staying here?â Azriel askedÂ
Cassian rubbed his hands together, then sighed, âAlthough I want toâ - âI know I have to go back eventuallyâÂ
Rhysand nodded, âExchange shifts?â Azriel suggested, he was tired of staying at the House of Wind, most of his shadows were either with his mate or gathering information.Â
Cassian huffed, âOh, you would love that, wonât you?âÂ
Rhysand spoke up, âElain is opening up to you, Azâ - âAnd I completely understand why you want to stay hereâ Rhysand glanced at the door âLilith is fine, more than fine actuallyâ - âShe can use a little concentration right now, and with what we noticed at the dinner-â he trailed offÂ
Azriel's brow furrowed, having no clue whatsoever, the dinner at least to him went perfectly alright. Cassian looked at him âSeriouslyâ he began âYou, the spymaster, didnât notice it?âÂ
Azriel gave him a confused look, Rhysand smirked, and Cassian barked out a laugh, âLilith with others is calm and collected. When you are there, wellâ âItâs like this oneâ He jerked his chin towards Rhysand âWhen Feyre and he werenât matedâÂ
âSpeaking of whichâ Rhysand said âWhen are you going to tell her?âÂ
Azriel's throat moved on a swallow âThere is too much going on right nowâ he beganÂ
âSo was at the time when Feyre got to knowâ Rhysand replied âYou better tell her before a Suriel doesâ He chuckledÂ
Shadows coocened him, not knowing how to tell his brothers the actual reason
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Mor entered the training ground and saw Cassian and Azriel, she looked aroundÂ
âWhereâs Lilithâ - âShe is never lateâ She said to no one in particular. She shook her head, the Illyrian males not even bothering to turn.Â
Mor walked back inside, and knocked on Lilith bedroom door, no answer. She went to the study room knocked and opened the door and found her subordinate sitting on the ground, books opened in front of her and Lilith taking notes. Mor walked inside âLily?â She didnât respondÂ
There was a look on Lilith face which was so similar, planning, strategizing, connecting the dots. She shook Lilith shoulder, a gasp ran from her. Lilith looked towards Mor eyes wide
âMorâ Lilith said, as she got up âSorry I lost track of timeâÂ
âItâs alrightâ Mor paused âDid you find somethingâÂ
Lilith furrowed her brows âIts complicatedâ she looked at her notes and then the books âItâs like a puzzle to which I have layed very few piecesâÂ
âCare to share?â Mor asked knowing Lilith would like toÂ
Lilith shook her head, glancing at the notepad âNot yetâ she needed to find more pieces to this puzzleÂ
Lilith walked towards training ground, wearing the Illyrian leathers Cassian gave her. They were comfortable, and had places to hide daggers. Reaching the grounds she haulted, seeing him spar. Shirtless. Her heart raced so much it hurt. She couldnât take eyes off Azriel, each inch of this body seemed to be craved by the Gods themselvesÂ
âAre you done oglingâ Morâs voice came, Mor was the first one to call out her crush on the shadowsinger, Lilith didnât correct her by saying it was more than that.Â
Right now Lilith wasnât able to take eyes off him. She knew better than to openly stare at a male. She noticed Azrielâs head slowly moving towards where she stood, just a little. A foreign sensation ran through her veins.Â
Mor apparently didnât care and swept Lilithâs feet down âAttentionâ Lilith grunted, getting up from the groundÂ
Taking a stance in front of Mor, they began.Â
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A throat cleared âAre you sure wanna continue, with herâ Rhysand asked, after training they came for breakfast, noticing the High Lord already at the table. Cassian and Azriel had joined, both had put on their shirts, thank the Gods. Mor winnowed away saying something about a meeting. It was the first time Lilith was alone with all these three. She tried to keep her gaze away from Azriel as much as possibleÂ
Lilith looked at Rhysand âYesâ she liked Morâs training the female didnât hold back. Today Lilith finally did some damage to Mor, who was so proud that she stopped everything and gave Lilith a hug.Â
âWhy are few books in a different languageâ Lilith asked out of blueÂ
âThat was totally randomâ Cassian said huffingÂ
Rhysand placed his hands on the table âItâs the old language of Faeâ - âI can help you translate, if you wantâ Lilith nodded.Â
âWe should get ready to leaveâ Cassian said putting a hand on Azrielâs shoulder, Rhysand gave a nodÂ
âYou two are leaving today?â Lilith voice was hesitant, Cassian nodded. Lilith looked at Azriel, she knew he would leave but this soon? Azrielâs eyes finally met Lilithâs. They were things unsaid between them, Lilith wanted him to stay here, it was selfish, she didnât know why but she felt at ease with him nearby, despite her attraction to him.
Weâll give you two a moment Rhysand said in Azriels mind, the two males stood and leftÂ
Lilith didnât let her eyes wander, âAre you alright?â Azriel askedÂ
Lilith nodded âAre you? She askedÂ
Azriel gave her a small smile âHereâ he held out a small container âItâs a pain relief salveâ - âI saw how you get after Morâs trainingâÂ
Lilith stretched out her hand and took it âThank youâ she had this sudden urge to hug the male, there was a brief silence between them
âThis will sound sillyâ Lilith said, finally about to ask something she wished âBut when you are freeâ she bit her lip âWill you take me flying?â She could have asked Cassian or even Rhysand but Azriel brought out a different part of her, someone that was carefree and Lilith wanted to feel that moreÂ
Azriel was silent for awhile, surprised by the request. She was his mate, he felt something through the bond from Lilith, which he couldnât place. He placed a hand on top of hers, holding gently âYesâ - âI willâ Her eyes widen and her cheeks flushed, not at the answer, but where his hand met hers. Lilith didnât know from where the courage came in her as she held his hand tightÂ
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âThis oneâ Rhysand said âIt means powersâ He trailed a finger to the sentence below âIt talks about cauldronâs powersâ - âWhat they areâ Rhysand had never read this book, in his youth he didnât understand the writing, so they were many books in this room that were unreadÂ
They were in the study room, Lilith sitting on the ground as usual, Rhysand was about to summon chairs but stopped, and sat beside her sister. Somewhere down the line Lilith had become that to him, a sister. She was willing to fight for his court, and gave a peace to his brother. Rhysand knew very well what Azriel is going through; maybe he should have let him stay. After what challenges life threw at them they deserve the few moments before a war-Â
âIsnât cauldron limitlessâ Rhysand came out of his stupor at Lilithâs questionÂ
He shook his head clearing his thoughts âYes and Noâ he answered âIt says over here there are sort of sections of powersâÂ
Rhysand pointed at a page âTimeâ he turned to another âElementâ a page flipped âLifeâ another page âDeathâ he turned the page again and looked at it, as if unsure of what it was âI believe this says WillâÂ
âSo each powers are somehow linked to these, what are these categories?â It was more of a answer, Lilith grabbed her notepadÂ
âThe courtsâ she began âI think they fall under timeâ Remember the seven courts of PrythianÂ
Lilithâs mind raced, trying to figure out the possibilities
Her brows furrowed âBut powers of the courts are elementalâ remembering Mor telling her the powers of each courtsÂ
âHealing magic can be a type of lifeâ Rhysand said, Lilith nodded; different courts, different elementary magic. Healing under life. Lilith felt like she was missing something, like she forgot a vital information.Â
Rhysand stood up and grabbed a book which saw better daysÂ
âThis is about the controlling magicâ Rhysand began âI read it a thousand timesâ - âBut Iâm more of the practical typeâ he handed the book to Lilith âYou donât have to, but it wonât hurt if you read itâ Lilith knew what he meant she didnât have to summon the magic, he will not ask her to do that, but Rhysand wanted her to atleast have the knowledge.Â
She saw him not with the assessing sight but with understanding. She already was familiar with the reason behind sadness on his face. The dullness in this eyes.Â
âRhysandâ Lilith said âSheâll be alrightâ Rhysand knew who Lilith spoke about, he placed a hand above his heart and gave her a small smile nodding
âCall me Rhys, Lilithâ the High Lord said âYour familyâÂ
Lilith smiled âOnly if you call me Lilyâ he extended his hand towards her, and Lilith shook itÂ
âDealâ they both said in unisonÂ
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Lilith knocked on the last door she ever thought. Amren opened the door surprise to see her. Lilith had asked Rhysand to take her there, she finished the book and wanted to try practicing. She knew Amren taught control to her brother. Rhysand was taken back by the request, but didnât question it.Â
âYoungest oneâ Amren said in the way of greetingÂ
Lilith narrowed her eyes âAncient oneâ she replied, Amren open the door further and gestured Lilith in. She noticed the book she was holding, and smirkedÂ
âI suppose your here for a reasonâ Amren said glancing at the familiar book, Lilith noddedÂ
She twisted the cloth of the hem of her shirt âI want to try somethingâ Lilith saidÂ
Amren noticed the action âYou need to be sure girl, we donât go around playing with powersâÂ
Lilith took a deep breath âIâm sureâÂ
They were sitting facing each other, Amren telling her to reach for her powers, she tried and failed two times. Amren lectured her, and told her to recall the things that happened in the cauldron, what part made her feel more. Lilith sat there and went dove deep, her body was trembling, her eyes were closed and she heard her voice, her mothers voiceÂ
She was in the study on her fatherâs library, trying to understand the maps. Her mother had found her there, and dragged her to the dancing lessons. Lilith never liked dancing but her mother forced her telling her that she and Nesta had the figure of a dancers.Â
Lilith felt so much sorrow, the apparent lights dimmed. Distantly she she heard Amren saying âHold on to thatâ Lilith tried as another memory surfacedÂ
Lilithâs Mother always commented on how such graceful legs were mismatched with her face. Wishing Elain had it rather than Lilith. Her mother always compared her to Elain, she was the beauty.Â
All the lights went out Amren looked around in wonderÂ
She was standing in the garden , her mother held her by her chin. Lilith was covered in mud and leaves. She was playing with the children of the house help. Her mother had called her a low disgrace and had slapped herÂ
Furniture began shaking, âCalm down girlâ Lilith felt angry at the last memory, she was just 5 at that time, the room filled with the sound of metal scrapping on wood âControl the power donât let the power control youâ Lilith tried to, her mothers words had hurt, the promise she made Lilith make also did. Amren called out âLilithâ maybe it was the tone Amren said it in, maybe it was the grounding of her hands on Lilithâs shoulders. But Lilith heard that familiar voiceÂ
Come back, Come back to me, Iâll wait, Come back to me, Iâll wait the words repeated again and again in her head.Â
Lilith finally opened her eyes to see a stunned wide eyed Amren in front of her. She looked around and noticed few things out of place. Lilith looked at Amren again âWhat happened?âÂ
Amren let go âWhat happened is that you need proper set up for this power girlâ - âIâm fond of this placeâÂ
Lilith narrowed her eyes not satisfied with the answer, Amren sighed âWhat ever you were feelingâ she paused thinking how to say it âThe lights went out and things began to shakeâÂ
Lilith furrowed her brows, itâs similar to what happened the last time, was this her power turning off lights and moving things? Lilith had thanked Amren and left.Â
Lilith just came out of the shower, when few tendrils of shadows came to her, excited she changed quickly, and head out, but Azriel wasnât there, her smile fell.Â
âThere you areâ Rhysand voice came as he emerged from his office, Lilith gave a wave tendrils of shadows on her handÂ
âSomeone came backâ Lilith gave a small smile looking at shadows, Rhysand eyes softened at the sight. He walked towards Lilith and asked âHow were things with AmrenâÂ
Lilith sighed looking at her brother âI can turn off lights and move objectsâ she paused âIâm a party trickâ she said drylyÂ
Rhysands brows climbed up âIt took me years to control my powers, for you to do it in such small time is nothing short of a miracleâÂ
âBut enough of work right nowâ - âIâm actually glad I ran into youâ Lilith gave a confused look âWith Azriel not able to fly long distances and Mor being in Hewn, Iâm going to be away for a awhileâ Lilith nodded in understandingÂ
âIâll be alrightâ She said, Rhysand gave her a mischievous smile, before he winnowed awayÂ
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Azriel was taking his frustration out on a poor dummy in the training field at the House of Wind. He wasnât able to sleep, so he came here to tire himself, thoughts of Lilith filled his mind. She is so young, and she is shackled to him. He looked at his hands, he knew she deserved someone better, someone whose hands werenât covered in so much blood.Â
Cassian whistled âWhat did the poor thing do to you Az?â Azriel didnât reply, continuing the punches
Cassian stopped him âWhatâs wrong?â Azriel looked at the ground, Cassian knew his brother well enough for the reason of this type of brooding, it was not about the war âLily will choose youâ Azriel heads snapped to his brothers âEveryone can see she feels something for youâ - âI donât know how youâre so obliviousâ Cassian huffedÂ
Was it true? Did Lilith feel something for him? He was staying as far away as possible, but it was so difficult to stay away from her. âYou just need to stop thinking you donât deserve this and whatever bullshit goes in that headâ - âTake a step towards herâ He gave a cert nod to CassianÂ
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âItâs not polite to sneak up like thatâ Lilith said to Azriel, shifting in the chair. The spymaster had randomly appeared behind her while she was eating breakfast the next morning. It wasnât that she was disappointed to see Azriel but more towards what she wore as she opted to for a loose tunic and shorts which barely covered her thighs thinking she is alone. Lilith wonât usually care about this, but at the same time she already felt Azriel saw too much, and the current situation wasnât helping.Â
Lilith narrowed her eyes as he sat on the table âSoâ Azriel began âWhat would you like to do todayâ Lilith opened her mouth and closed it, her thought process jumbling up, she took a deep breath âIâm not sureâ she said, genuinely. She wanted to play the piano again, but well that was not going to happenÂ
Azriel looked at her warmly, there were a lot of things he wanted to do with Lilith, but all the things he planned had to wait, for nowÂ
He stood up âLetâs goâ he handed Lilith his handÂ
Lilith cheeks flushed, she didnât want to get up, but she mustered up the courage and took him hand âI did promise to take you flyingâ Lilith beamed, Azrielâs eyes widened and his lips parted at the sight of her smiling ear to ear; itâs not like she didnât smile but this was the first time she had grinned, it was the most beautiful she looked.Â
Azriel throat cleared, as he averted his gaze from her âMabye you should change firstâ Lilith cheeks went red, as she turned and half ran half walked towards her room.Â
It was beyond magical, seeing the city like this. Lilithâs gaze went to the city below and to the sky above. When they left her heart was racing because Azriel was holding her close, now there was another reason. She had told him long ago that she loved to see the scenes change from heights. But flying was so much freeing than climbing different trees.Â
They hadnât spoken much, but her instincts told her that his eyes were mostly on her rather than the sky. Lilith turned her head towards Azriel, and as she predicted the male was looking at her. Lilith smiled. She looked at his wings, they were massive, an urge to touch them came upon her; she moved her hand upward, and Azrielâs grip tightened on her, she paused and looked at Azriel who was now seeing ahead, she lowered her hand down.Â
Lilith looked towards the sky and felt the wind on her face, forgetting what happened.Â
They landed back in the Town House
âThat wasâ Lilith shook her head âIt was more than amazingâ she looked at him âThank you AzrielâÂ
His heart began beating faster, this was the first time she had called him by his name, he felt hot. On the flight his body screamed, when she was about the touch his wings Azriel wanted to roar. But he moved towards her and looked at her, maybe Rhys was right she deserved to know.Â
âLilithâ Azriel voice was hoarse, Amren calling her âyoungest oneâ ran in Azrielâs mind, seventeen, she was just seventeen. No, he wouldnât shackle her to him when she just started living, so he said âIâm glad you enjoyedâ He smiled at her, it didnât matter whether she will have him, for now, seeing her happy was more than enough for him.Â
Lilith stepped forward, and hugged Azriel. He froze for a heartbeat then two, and then finally embraced her.Â
âFeyre is at the border of winter, go nowâ Rhysandâs voice rang in his mindÂ
Azriel broke the hug, his expression changing, Lilith gave him a confused look âStay hereâ he ordered âItâs Feyre she is in winter courtâ Lilith took a step forward eyes wide âItâs dangerousâ Azriel knew what she was going to say âPlease Lilyâ he placed his hands on her shoulders âStay here, pleaseâÂ
It was the plea and worry in his voice that made Lilith nod and said âIâll waitâ she looked at his wide eyes.Â
Azriel went to the balcony , he turned his head back âIâll come back soonâ he said and took off
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Note: Yes I did it, (not the whole typing on my phone,) but Lilith and Azriel getting close, guys I had too , I want them to have like this tense relation but not do anything about it cause of the situation. They were so many time I thought of adding a kiss and I was like nope even if this couple wants to not now. I hope you enjoyed this part as much as you guys did the others
I swear it was a pain to write but worth it! And yes the âancient oneâ remark was also living rent free in my mind since chapter 1 . Thank you all so much for your support
My taglist <3: @the-onlyy-angie @lreadsstuff @xadenswhore @willowpains @secretsicanthideanymore @a-chegwidden @tele86 @i-am-infinite @booksbypisces @anon1227 @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @sophieliz @nebarious @whore-of-many-hot-men @art1012 @plants-w0rld @bruuuuuuuuuuuuh @mitziix @annamariereads16 @illustrioussanctuarystatue @goldenlove1665 @madeofeverythingjuice @regulusblackstar @wickedpyro @littleemissperfecttt @nikfigueiredo @celestialgilb
Updated Parts: Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

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Can you please tag me when you post chapter 3 (Please tag me whenever you post Court of Calm Chaos from now on)
Hii and sure, Iâm sorry itâs taking longer than expected
Can i be part of your taglist please?
Hii and sure , working on chapter 3 , my laptop gave up, so sorry itâs gonna take some time